Leslie Glass's Blog, page 368

What Is Enabling

No one sets out to enable addiction. On the contrary, many start out with good intentions. We love the person struggling with addiction, and she’s in grave danger, so just this once, we bail her out of jail. Or he promised he’ll quit drinking. We want to believe him, but before we know it, we’re in a dangerous pattern of enabling.

When Compassion Becomes Problematic, It Is Enabling

In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie defines enabling:

“Enabling is therapeutic jargon that means a destructive form of helping.”

Gateway Types Of Enabling

Many spouses and parents start down the dark path of enabling by making excuses for the addict. “He’s sick,” we say. Or, “She’s got the flu.” We can’t, won’t, and certainly don’t want to tell family members and close friends about the problem. Dr. Claudia Black, an expert in co-dependency and addiction explains that when someone has a chemical dependency, three major rules that exist within the family:

Don’t talk to anyone about the real problem.
Don’t trust. Psychological and/or physical safety are often missing in addictive households which produces mistrust.
Don’t feel. People living with addiction are often in such desperation that the only way to cope is by repressing (ignoring, restraining, or hiding) their feelings or just not feeling anything at all.

Some enablers graduate to doing things for the addict that he, she, or they can do for themselves. Perhaps a Mom will do laundry for her adult son or balance her 30 year-old’s checkbook.  The goal here is often to keep peace. This may include “mind reading” by anticipating these wants and doing them ahead of time. Perhaps the house is kept sparking clean to keep the addict calm.

Covert Types Of Enabling

As addiction progresses, so does the need to enable. In this phase, the enabler often ignores other negative behaviors that the addict is demonstrating such as:

Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
Throwing things
Storming out of the home in anger
Driving with the children while drunk
Losing a job due to work consequences of the addiction (coming in late, being drugged on the job).

Other covert types of enabling include rescuing the addict from consequences. Instead of giving the addict time to feel the consequence by staying in jail, parents will bail the children out. Instead of making a spouse use the bus to get to work, a husband will drive his wife to work.

Driven by fear, codependents often take over as the family spokesperson, speaking on behalf of the addict. They also walk on eggshells, making sure her food is on the table when she gets home. In other cases, they prevent catastrophes by driving him to the bar to get drunk. Defeated, they reason, “He’s going anyway.”‘

In extreme cases, a loved one might even help the addict stay in the addiction by buying the drug of choice for him.

Enabling Hurts The Enabler

Eventually, the enabler ends up doing almost everything for the family – working, raising the children, being involved with the kids’ activities. They do things that they don’t want to do and will say “yes” to anything that might keep peace in the family. And finally, the enabler does not take care of him or herself physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually, or spirituality. The focus is always about the addict and the addiction.

When Children Enable

Sometimes an older child will take on a parental role to help instead of being allowed to be a child (doing all the cooking, laundry, etc.). When children are given excuses for the addiction-driven behaviors, it makes it even more difficult to say “no” to their parent(s) or sibling(s). Children often believe they cause their parents addictions and will defend the addict’s behavior.

How To Quit Enabling

Having an inability to set boundaries gets the enabler in trouble.  The enabler gives up his or her life to take care of the addict. In recovery, we learn not to cause or prevent a crisis. Little by little, learn how to get your life back by doing healthy behaviors. Put the focus back on you. Meet your physical needs first. Ultimately, to restore balance, the enabler must start denying whatever the addict wants. This is often uncomfortable and frequently challenging. Consider getting support from a family group like Al-Anon, Nar-anon, or Celebrate Recovery.

If you and your family fit this role of enabler, take charge of your life by getting help. Recovery Guidance lists local crisis and treatment centers that can help you even if your loved one continues down the path of addiction.

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More Parents Smoking Pot Around Kids

From Science Daily Cannabis use increased among parents who smoke cigarettes, as well as among non-smoking parents, according to a latest study from researchers at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health and City University of New York. Cannabis use was nearly four times more common among cigarette smokers compared with non-smokers. Until now, little had been known about current trends in the use of cannabis among parents with children in the home, the prevalence of exposure to both tobacco and cannabis, and which populations might be at greatest risk. The findings will be published online in the June issue of Pediatrics.

“While great strides have been made to reduce children’s exposure to second-hand cigarette smoke, those efforts may be undermined by increasing use of cannabis among parents with children living at home,” said Renee Goodwin, PhD, in the Department of Epidemiology at the Mailman School of Public Health, and corresponding author.

Analyzing data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health from 2002 to 2015, the researchers found past-month cannabis use among parents with children at home increased from 5 percent in 2002 to 7 percent in 2015, whereas cigarette smoking declined from 28 percent to 20 percent. Cannabis use increased from 11 percent in 2002 to over 17 percent in 2015 among cigarette-smoking parents and from slightly over 2 percent to 4 percent among non-cigarette-smoking parents. Cannabis use was nearly 4 times more common among cigarette smokers versus nonsmokers (17 percent vs 4 percent), as was daily cannabis use (5 percent vs 1 percent). The overall percentage of parents who used cigarettes and/or cannabis decreased from 30 percent in 2002 to 24 percent in 2015.

“While use of either cigarettes or cannabis in homes with children has declined, there was an increase in the percent of homes with both. Therefore, the increase in cannabis use may be compromising progress in curbing exposure to secondhand smoke,” noted Goodwin, who is also at the Graduate School of Public Health and Health Policy at CUNY.

Cannabis use was also more prevalent among men who also smoked compared to women (10 percent vs 6 percent) and among younger parents with children in the home (11 percent) compared with those 50 and older (4 percent). The strength of the relationship between current cannabis use and cigarette smoking was significant and similar for all income levels.

“The results of our study support the public health gains in reducing overall child secondhand tobacco smoke but raise other public health concerns about child exposure to secondhand cannabis smoke and especially high risk for combined exposures in certain subpopulations,” observed Goodwin.

Noteworthy, according to Goodwin, is that there remains a lack of information on the location of smoking, whether it occurs in the house or in the proximity of children. Unlike cigarettes, smoking cannabis outdoors and in a range of public areas is illegal in most places. Therefore, there is reason to believe that cannabis use is even more likely to occur in the home than cigarette smoking given their differences in legal status.

“Efforts to decrease secondhand smoke exposure via cigarette smoking cessation may be complicated by increases in cannabis use,” said Goodwin. “Educating parents about secondhand cannabis smoke exposure should be integrated into public health education programs on secondhand smoke exposure.”

The study was funded by the National Institutes of Health and National Institute on Drug Abuse (DA20892).

Co-authors are Melanie Wall, Deborah Hasin, and Samantha Santoscoy, Mailman School of Public Health; Keely Cheslack-Postava, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons; Nina Bakoyiannis, CUNY; and Bradley Collins and Stephen Lepore, Temple University.

Story Source:

Materials provided by Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.

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Mental Illness Stigma Is No Joke

Mental Illness Stigma means people feel free to joke about it. Even though we work hard to educate and speak out, people continue to use mental illness as the punchline for jokes. A few years ago I was at a church service where the minister repeated an inappropriate joke.  Her remark seemed funny and innocent, but it really had a shaming message. The minister quoted an author who said, “If I wasn’t making a living as a writer, I may have been busy doing yard work for a woman with multiple personalities.”

Mental Illness Stigma Is Cruel Joke

She wanted to be funny; and a few in the congregation laughed. Many did not. I was appalled.  A few days later, I confronted her on this. When she apologized to me, I had an opportunity to explain and advocate. Her comment wasn’t about my hurt feelings. Her comment actually shamed people with mental illnesses. I asked her to apologize to the congregation. Maybe she wasn’t aware, but I knew of at least three people in the church who were diagnosed with multiple personality disorder (now Dissociative Identity Disorder).

Would she have used the quote in her sermon if the author said, “If I wasn’t making a living writing, I would probably be doing laundry for a Jewish American Princess.” Or, “I may have been busy doing yard for a black woman with terminal cancer.”

How many people at church would have found these comments funny? Interestingly enough, in the weeks following her sermon, two comics in the local newspaper also made fun of mental illness.

Joking About Mental Illness

This comment was a slap in the face to those who suffer from multiple personality disorder. It was also a shaming comment to all persons and/or loved ones who have a mental illness. And it made me realize that the minister was unwilling to recognize how awful of a quote this was. She said it didn’t matter. It wasn’t her quote.  To which I pointed out that she seemed to have chosen it as she thought it was funny. Needless to say, I haven’t returned to her services.

Making Mistakes Means Apologizing

Of course, we all make faux pas. Sometimes we recognize them; sometimes we don’t. When I was working as a therapist on an inpatient psychiatric unit, one of my patients told me about renovations to the old State Psychiatric Hospital. I said it had a fascinating history, and my patient replied, “Not if you ever lived there.” I quickly apologized as it was a totally inappropriate comment. What can be an innocent comment for one can be deeply hurtful to another. We all make mistakes, but we can also all make amends.

Compassion For Mental Illness Not Mocking Or Jokes

What has to happen is for people to find the compassion within themselves and others. Of course, those of us with mental illnesses can use the humor of our conditions to survive in a world that struggles with acceptance and compassion. But we don’t have to be anyone’s joke. To be made fun of for having a major health condition, such as Dissociative Identity Disorder, adds stigma to a world that denigrates those who are different. Instead, lets celebrate and embrace all our differences and our similarities.

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Inside Margot Kidder’s Battle With Mental Illness

From Mike Miller & J.D. Reed @ People: While Margot Kidder is best known for her recurring role as Lois Lane in the original Superman films, she will also be remembered for her long and courageous battle with bipolar disorder, once known as manic depression.

The actress died at the age of 69 on Sunday at her home in Livingston, Montana, PEOPLE confirmed on Monday. Her cause of death is unknown.

“The reality of my life has been grand and wonderful, punctuated by these odd blips and burps of madness,” Kidder told PEOPLE for a cover story in 1996, not long after her last reported manic episode, which left her homeless for a time.

In the same interview, Kidder called the incident “the most public freak-out in history,” adding, “I was like one of those ladies you see talking to the space aliens on the street corner in New York.”

While the four-day disappearance was her most highly-publicized episode, it was not the first time she had made headlines since rising to prominence as Lois Lane in 1978’s Superman.

There were addictions and recoveries, husbands and divorces, a number of boyfriends (including Superman III costar Richard Pryor and former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau), episodes of bizarre behavior and an auto accident that left her bankrupt and partially paralyzed in 1990.

Mood Swings That Could Knock Over A Building

Kidder told PEOPLE that the root of most of her problems — which she said included “mood swings that could knock over a building” — was bipolar disorder. The disease affects over 9 million Americans and causes those who have it to vacillate between euphoric highs and desperate lows, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

She was first diagnosed with the condition by a Los Angeles-based psychiatrist in 1988. But, suspicious of medical opinion, Kidder refused to accept the finding — or to take lithium, the recommended treatment.

“It’s very hard to convince a manic person that there is anything wrong with them,” Kidder told PEOPLE. “You have no desire to sleep. You are full of ideas.”

But in 1996, when a computer virus accidentally deleted a memoir she had been working on for years, Kidder said she “went from really distressed to absolute delusion.” She flew to L.A. to see a computer specialist who told her that the files could not be recovered.

While waiting for her return flight at the airport, she became convinced that her first husband, novelist Thomas McGuane, and the CIA were “trying to kill” her because her memoir was powerful enough to change the world. She saw agents and assassins everywhere. “I know you’re looking at me!” she told PEOPLE she shouted at a passersby at the airport.

Still in the airport at 3 a.m., she spoke with a TV crew from WBIR in Knoxville, Tenn. “My ex-husband has hired people to kill me,” she said she told them. Anchorman Ted Hall later told PEOPLE: “I could see there was no plot. It was so sad. She was dirty, tired.”

By then, she had thrown away her purse because she thought there was a bomb in it. Later, she tried to take a taxi but didn’t have enough money for the trip. She tried to use her ATM card outside the airport but thought the cash machine was about to explode. “I took off running,” Kidder told PEOPLE.

“I slept in yards and on porches in a state of fear,” she added. By the following afternoon, Kidder had made her way downtown, a distance of some 20 miles, and was taken in by a homeless man named Charlie who gave her shelter in his cardboard shack.

He “took such incredible care of me,” Kidder told PEOPLE. “I was cold. I was hungry. I was terrified beyond belief. He stayed with me and held me.” She had lost some caps on her front teeth, which she cemented back in place with Krazy Glue. “When you’re having a manic episode,” she said, “you don’t always remember to pack the Krazy Glue.”

The next day another homeless man tried to rape her, she recalled, kicking her in the stomach, hitting her in the face and dislodging the last of the caps on her front teeth. Kidder said she hit back and remembers reasoning in desperation, “You’re a good person. You don’t want to do this.” The man backed off.

Meanwhile, family and friends were frantic. When Kidder hadn’t returned from L.A., her agent John Blake called her only child (with McGuane), Maggie Kern. Working with the L.A. police, Maggie made dozens of calls to friends. “I even tore apart my mother’s cabin looking for old phone books,” Maggie told Barbara Walters on 20/20. At one point the police told Maggie that they didn’t know whether they would find Margot alive. But her brother John (one of five Kidder siblings), a Vancouver, B.C., inventor, never lost faith. “Margot is incredibly strong,” he told PEOPLE at the time. “She’s a survivor.”

Three days after she was last seen at the airport, Kidder set off on foot to see her friend Shuster, a former Saturday Night Live writer who had a home some 12 miles north of downtown L.A. Margot had hacked off her hair close to her scalp as a further disguise. She spent the night in a motel room, arranged for by some Alcoholics Anonymous members she had met in her wanderings.

The next day, Kidder told PEOPLE, “I was walking up this endless mountain and had the wondrous realization that though I was stripped of all traditional forms of identity, I was still me.” That moment of relative clarity finally led to her rescue. Feeling less driven to hide, the actress took refuge in a backyard in Glendale, where she encountered homeowner Elaine Lamb and told her, “I may not look like it, but I’m Margot Kidder.”

Tipped off by a 911 call from Lamb, the Glendale police found Kidder and took her to Olive View Medical Center in nearby Sylmar, where she was placed under observation. She was later transferred to UCLA Medical Center, and, five days after she was found, a judge ruled that she was no danger to herself or others and was allowed to leave UCLA.

Finally Accepted Diagnosis

To avoid the press, Margot went to a rented house on an island near Vancouver. There, her brother John introduced her to bipolar author Jamison’s writings, and Kidder had a shock of recognition. “Finally,” Kidder told PEOPLE, “I was able to accept the diagnosis.”

That realization was a long time coming. Although she hid it from teachers, parents and peers, Kidder was already experiencing bouts of suicidal depression and odd flights of fancy as a teenager. At age 14 she swallowed a handful of codeine pills because a boyfriend had dumped her. “It never occurred to anyone to send me to a shrink,” she said. “I was just a teenager with a broken heart.”

Another time, she became enthralled with a pine tree, believing that if she could climb to the top and spin around it fast enough, she would somehow “become one” with it. “I’ve always called it ‘keeping the monsters in,’” she told PEOPLE of her demons. “I knew it wasn’t socially acceptable at a high school dance to talk about the time you got homogenized with pine cones.”

Always a natural performer, Kidder added, “I thought in acting I could let my real self out and no one would know it was me.” Around age 21, she began seeing psychiatrists for her mood swings but never trusted their approaches. “Trying to help someone who suffers from a surfeit of feeling by encouraging them to let out more feelings is absurd,” she said.

In 1990, when she was working on the TV series Nancy Drew and Daughter, an auto accident left her legs partially paralyzed. A back operation for a herniated disk in 1992 restored her ability to walk, though she still has a somewhat flat-footed gait. More than $600,000 in medical bills drove her into bankruptcy, however, and the pain led to an addiction to pills and alcohol. She later joined a 12-step group. “If I felt myself starting to go manic, I’d get drunk. Better drunk than crazy,” Kidder told PEOPLE.

Still, Kidder did take some pride in aspects of her disease, noting that Lord Byron, her favorite poet, and novelist Thomas Wolfe also had bipolar disorder. “When you listen to Beethoven’s Ninth, you get pleasure,” she said. “A manic-depressive gets rapture.”

Recovery At Last

The greatest gift of her recovery, however, was an improved relationship with her daughter, which Kidder had seen in the past as her “bottomless well of grief.”

“Nothing was ever stable for Maggie. Manics run through a lot of money, so there was no financial security,” she said. As for emotional stability, she added, “I was whipping through husbands a mile a minute.” When Kidder spoke with PEOPLE in 1996, she said that she and Maggie had reached a new and better place in their relationship.

Yet even in recovery, Kidder had to do things her own way. “I hate lithium because it works just under the level at which it is toxic,” she explained. She was helped, she said, by Canadian acupuncturist and therapist Elena Crippen, and was trying Depakote, an anti-seizure medicine that has had some success treating bipolar disorder.

With the assistance of her friend, actor Russell Means, she also explored Native American herbal remedies. “I’m not saying it’s all over,” she admitted at the time. “I’m saying this is the pattern of my life. In three years I might be having another wig-out. I have no idea. I just have to accept the fact that this is me, or I ain’t gonna make it.”

Fortunately, the treatments started to work, and Kidder never experienced another episode like she did in 1996. Speaking about her struggles with mental health in a 2012 interview with CBC, Kidder said, “It’s old news. I flipped out about 17 years ago now and still I have people in airports going, ‘Are you ok?’ And it’s sort of sweet and touching but at the same time you want to go, ‘It was 17 years ago!’ ”

She added, “I feel very lucky that I got the kind of help that I did. And it was sheer luck, it certainly wasn’t any brilliance of mine. I got people who didn’t insist I got drugged to the gills with a lot of mind numbing things that basically turn you into a vegetable. [They] taught me how to get better naturally. So I feel really, really, really blessed by that.”

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Mayim Bailik: Seek Help Like Your Life Depends On It

From Aurelie Corinthios @ People: Mayim Bialik has an important message for anyone struggling with mental health: Don’t give up on seeking help.



In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, the Child Mind Institute is partnering with a number of celebrities to release a daily video as part of its #MyYoungerSelf campaign to end the stigma attached to mental health and learning disorders. Recorded at home on their smartphones, the stars are sharing powerful, inspiring messages while speaking to a younger version of themselves.

“I think what I would have liked to tell my younger self about my mental health is that there are answers,” she says. “For me, some of those answers I had to wait years to find and I needed to get different help, which ended up being really the right kind of help.”

“But I had this notion when I was younger that if something didn’t work once, or if a therapist didn’t work, or if a medication didn’t work, that nothing would ever work,” she adds. “I wish I could have told my younger self that something will work — it’s just going to take sometimes more research, sometimes more referrals, and really figuring things out like your life depends on it. Because for me, it did.”

The social media campaign brings together more than three dozen actors, Olympians, authors, comedians, advocates and other influencers in the hopes of eliminating stigma by showing children and adolescents who struggle that there is a bright future ahead if they open up and ask for help.

Other celebrities participating this year include Kristen Bell, Mikaela Shiffrin, James Van Der Beek, Gabrielle Union, Brittany Snow and Sarah Silverman.

For more information, visit childmind.org.

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How To Start Exercising When You’re Anxious Or Depressed

From Helpguide.org: Many of us find it hard enough to motivate ourselves to exercise at the best of times. When we feel depressed, anxious, stressed or have other mental or emotional problems, it can be doubly difficult.

This is especially true of depression and anxiety, and it can leave you feeling trapped in a catch-22 situation. You know exercise will make you feel better, but depression has robbed you of the energy and motivation you need to exercise, or your social anxiety means you can’t bear the thought of being seen at an exercise class or running through the park. So, what can you do?

It’s Smart To Start Small

When you’re under the cloud of an emotional disorder and haven’t exercised for a long time, setting yourself extravagant goals like completing a marathon or working out for an hour every morning will only leave you more despondent if you fall short. Better to set yourself achievable goals and build up from there.

Don’t have 30 minutes to dedicate to yoga or a bike ride? Don’t worry. Think about physical activity as a lifestyle rather than just a single task to check off. Look at your daily routine and consider ways to sneak in activity here, there, and everywhere. Need ideas? We’ve got them.

4 Easy Ways To Start Exercising

In and around your home. Clean the house, wash the car, tend to the yard and garden, mow the lawn with a push mower, sweep the sidewalk or patio with a broom.

At work and on the go. Bike or walk to an appointment rather than drive, banish all elevators and get to know every staircase possible, briskly walk to the bus stop then get off one stop early, park at the back of the lot and walk into the store or office, take a vigorous walk during your coffee break.

With the family. Jog around the soccer field during your kid’s practice, make a neighborhood bike ride part of weekend routine, play tag with your children in the yard, go canoeing at a lake, walk the dog in a new place.

Just for fun. Pick fruit at an orchard, boogie to music, go to the beach or take a hike, gently stretch while watching television, organize an office bowling team, take a class in martial arts, dance, or yoga.

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5 Powers Of No

Life in recovery is about moving forward no matter how bad you feel As a recovery coach, I know all about the challenge not to accept being and staying empty. That is what addiction whispers to us every day. Let go of all effort. Just stay in bed with that fog (they call mine a diabetic fog and it sometimes drags me down). Whatever yours is, there are powers of no.

Be Nothing, Do Nothing Is What Addiction Wants Of Us

Addiction whispers to us that we don’t really count and nobody will notice, so it doesn’t matter if I, you, or any of us, stay in a funk. The message is: Who cares about me anyway so why not stay in bed and meditate on my current predicament? It’s a lie, of course. We do matter and people do care. So we can’t let go and fall into the trap of nothingness.

The Five Powers Of No

My recovery has taught me a valuable lesson. I have the power to say NO to everything that holds me back. I have the power to reverse the message and not accept being less than my best. My best may not climb the social ladder and be on TV as a mover and shaker. My best may not captain an industry while I try to figure out how to live on seven figures. But my best is about achieving what I can become, and I will be live satisfied with my best efforts. I can say no to whatever wants to keep me down.

1. Drifting Along Without Direction

I want to live my life quite intentionally. I can be the person to reach for goals and build a plan on how to achieve them. I can be that man with a humongous desire, and I am able to say no to that which wants to divert me from being alive to my aspirations.

2. Acting Like A Victim

Poor me. My past addictive choices created consequences I didn’t like. I acted helpless since I needed my d.o.c. (drug of choice) to survive day to day. At least so I thought.  Now my choices are being made to achieve whole and holy consequences. Choices that advance me towards my truest desires. I don’t accept that everything should be perfect now that I no longer use. I will encounter trouble and challenges along the way but so what? I say no to living under the canopy of victim-hood.

3.  Procrastinating

Procrastination is putting things off. This may involve the inability to control outcomes and maybe we want to be taken care of. Doing nothing at all keeps us bound to living ineffectively and weak. When we procrastinate, we need and demand others to prop us up and do it for us.

4. Risk Avoidance

In the past, I would hold back and not take acceptable risks. Yet it is in the risk zone where personal growth occurs. We all must keep living forward so taking risks is part of the deal.

5. Fearing Everything

What’s so scary anyway? Failing? Being found out to be a fraud? Losing dignity again? Each of these fears are real and not real at the same time. Sure we all can fail. I have and I may in the future. I may not always be the expert, and I might even get embarrassed a time or twelve.  So what? I say No to thoughts that express myself as a victim. We are all of incalculable value, and there is nothing that my performance, or others can say, to diminish my value. I say No to living as an offended addict who must compromise to be alive. If I fail, I will fail forward.

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What is Mental Illness

The phrase mental illness is often bandied around, but we need to know exactly what this means. To begin with, mental illness is the absence of mental health. The World Health Organization defines mental health as: “a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her [their] own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his [their] community.”

The American Psychiatric Association defines mental illnesses as:

“health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion or behavior (or a combination of these). Mental illnesses are associated with distress and/or problems functioning in social, work or family activities.”

Likewise, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition (DSM-5, 2013), which is the bible on mental health problems, states:

“A mental disorder is a syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual’s cognition, emotional regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in  the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress or disability in social, occupational, or other importance activities” (p. 20).

Mental illnesses are very prevalent today and they can go from a mild state of anxiety to more severe condition such as schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder). Various studies including from the NIMH and SAMSHA reveal the following statistics:

Approximately 1 in 5 U.S adults (44 million) experience a mental illness in any given year
1 in 24 has a serious mental illness
1 in 12 has a substance use disorder (drugs/alcohol).

There is still a lot of stigma regarding mental illness. However, it is an illness just like any other illness where there are problems associated with life functioning. And like physical health issues such as diabetes or heart disease, there is treatment available including medication and counseling.

Symptoms Associated With A Mental Illness(es)

Significant change in mood/emotions (going from happy to depressed; becoming very fearful or paranoid, or becoming angry over little things)
Unable to continue to attend school or work due to feeling overwhelmed or not remembering what to do or how to do it
Feeling depressed, hopeless/helpless or feeling suicidal or homicidal
Extreme energy with poor sleep and oftentimes, becoming compulsive in shopping or sex
Having no joy in doings thing previously enjoyed (anhedonia)
Isolation
Having an extreme startle response
Psychic numbing – not feeling anything
Feeling everyone else in the world is wrong and that only your thoughts and feelings are important
Not having a sense of a moral compass or compassion
Problematic behaviors (often impulsive) such as drinking and drugging or cutting or burning self
Hearing or seeing things that other people don’t hear and see (hallucinations) that are not associated with a spiritual process or a cultural norm
Feeling people are out to get you
Having delusions such as believing you’re Jesus Christ or that you have superpowers
Having ongoing thoughts (“monkey-mind” where you can’t let go of the thought and it is like a cassette tape going around in your mind) or behaviors that don’t go away and which you must complete ritualistic behaviors to ease your tension (such as counting the tiles in the ceiling or the steps it takes you to walk to work)
Poor sleep or too much sleep
Poor eating or overeating
Having problems with other relationships such as a parent or spouse with no known reason
Problems accepting responsibility for yourself and blaming others.

Warning Signs Of Mental Illness

While there are many warning signs of a mental illness, it takes a few of these symptoms to actually be diagnosed with a mental illness. If you feel you or a loved one have a number of these symptoms, then talk to your parents, spouse, or other family members; a trusted physician; a teacher or school counselor; religious or spiritual mentor; or other supports. Also, set an appointment with a social worker, therapist, or counselor or at a mental health center that can provide you with needed services. And do not be overwhelmed by stigma; as a person with a mental illness, you are so much more than being defined as mentally ill. Diagnoses are just professionals’ ways of working with your particular problem, just as a diagnosis of diabetes is a way of working with that illness.

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Prenatal marijuana smoking affects infant size and behavior

From Science Daily Smoking during pregnancy has well-documented negative effects on birth weight in infants and is linked to several childhood health problems. Now, researchers at the University at Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions have found that prenatal marijuana use also can have consequences on infants’ weight and can influence behavior problems, especially when combined with tobacco use.

“Nearly 30 percent of women who smoke cigarettes during pregnancy also report using marijuana,” says Rina Das Eiden, PhD, RIA senior research scientist. “That number is likely to increase with many states moving toward marijuana legalization, so it’s imperative we know what effects prenatal marijuana use may have on infants.”

Through a grant from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, Eiden studied nearly 250 infants and their mothers. Of these, 173 of the infants had been exposed to tobacco and/or marijuana during their mothers’ pregnancies. None were exposed to significant amounts of alcohol.

Eiden found that infants who had been exposed to both tobacco and marijuana, especially into the third trimester, were smaller in length, weight and head size, and were more likely to be born earlier, compared to babies who were not exposed to anything. They also were more likely to be smaller in length and weight compared to babies exposed only to tobacco in the third trimester. The results were stronger for boys compared to girls.

“We also found that lower birth weight and size predicted a baby’s behavior in later infancy,” Eiden says. “Babies who were smaller were reported by their mothers to be more irritable, more easily frustrated and had greater difficulty calming themselves when frustrated. Thus, there was an indirect association between co-exposure to tobacco and marijuana and infant behavior via poor growth at delivery.”

Furthermore, women who showed symptoms of anger, hostility and aggression reported more stress in pregnancy and were more likely to continue using tobacco and marijuana throughout pregnancy. Therefore, due to the co-exposure, they were more likely to give birth to infants smaller in size and who were more irritable and easily frustrated. The infants’ irritability and frustration is also linked to mothers who experienced higher levels of stress while pregnant.

“Our results suggest that interventions with women who smoke cigarettes or use marijuana while pregnant should also focus on reducing stress and helping them cope with negative emotions,” Eiden says. “This may help reduce prenatal substance exposure and subsequent behavior problems in infants.”

The study appeared in the March/April issue of Child Development and was authored by Pamela Schuetze, PhD, Department of Psychology, Buffalo State College, with co-authors Eiden; Craig R. Colder, PhD, UB Department of Psychology; Marilyn A. Huestis, PhD, Institute of Emerging Health Professions, Thomas Jefferson University, Philadelphia; and Kenneth E. Leonard, PhD, RIA director.

Story Source:

Materials provided by University at Buffalo. Original written by Cathy Wilde. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.

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Why’s The Codependent In The Kitchen?

Hi. I’m Pam. I struggle with codependency, anxiety, depression, and people pleasing. Three years ago, I found recovery, someone who believes in me, and a sliver or my former fun-loving self. Here’s the story of how I found the rest of me, and it all started in the kitchen.

It’s Always In The Last Place You Looked

How did I get to be a 40 year-old shell of a person? One day at a time. Little by little, I put others first. Instead of giving out of my excess time, money, or energy, I gave more than I had. I didn’t take care of myself financially, physically, or emotionally. All in the name of love.

My path to self-destruction started as a child. I was the oldest of three kids, raised in a small, rural, God-fearing Baptist home. In our family, women (for generations) did all of the cooking and cleaning. When a neighbor needed something, we took them a piping hot casserole, a pan of brownies, and a starchy side dish. This was how we showed love.

After we made all of those casseroles, we sat around the table and solved everyone’s problems. We had all of the answers to the questions no one asked. I learned rules for living like:

Kill them with kindness
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. (As a side note, who wants to catch flies anyway?)
Turn the other cheek

These rules might work for some, but when combined with my personality and my family’s deep, dark secret, they set me up for disaster.

Generational Sins

I’m also an adult child of an alcoholic. This one fact probably explains more about my need for recovery than the casserole talk, but it’s a heavily guarded secret. Like most families, we don’t talk about this. Ever. In fact, it’s so deeply buried that I often forget about it. Alcoholism defined all of the roles in my family. I’m a codependent who was raised by codependents.

Freedom Found

By the time I found recovery, I didn’t even know what foods I liked. My anxiety was so crippling that I often couldn’t cook diner or buy groceries. I went back to the kitchen and forced myself to cook my favorite foods. I love veggies, so I worked on being in the moment by washing, chopping, and smelling bright peppers and onions.

As I got stronger, I began to pursue my dream of writing. The Codependent In The Kitchen Cookbook combines 18 of my original recipes:

3 Deserts
3 Drinks
6 Lunches
6 Dinners

Plus, each recipe features the corresponding recovery story I learned along the way. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed creating it.

Enjoy!

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