Jason Z. Christie's Blog, page 32
June 26, 2012
Sweet, Sweet, Sweet
My honeydew nectar
Ambrosia be thy name
Sweeter than any substitute
Saccharine, Nutra, Splenda
And other black baby names
You are my sugar moon
Drawing me to you
Like a moth to a flame
I could be sweeter, I do admit
Let me learn by example
And taste you yet again
Ambrosia be thy name
Sweeter than any substitute
Saccharine, Nutra, Splenda
And other black baby names
You are my sugar moon
Drawing me to you
Like a moth to a flame
I could be sweeter, I do admit
Let me learn by example
And taste you yet again
June 25, 2012
Last Roundup
We were so fucking stupid, thinking we were clever.
The
legalization movement had reached critical mass. Society could no longer
resist the onslaught of popular opinion. Conventional wisdom was
prevailing: give the people what they want. So eager were we to have
peace, we rushed headlong into compromise.
Marijuana would be
legal across the entire U.S. Growers and users would simply have to
register with the federal government and accept a small, unobtrusive
tracking chip subdermally. To protect the children, that ancient device.
The
bill was signed into law, and we all jockeyed for position, eager to
sign on for our implants. Low serial numbers became status. Badges of
honor. Finally, we could cultivate and commune in peace.
For two
years, liberty and prosperity ruled the land. Then they came for us. We
were complacent and defenseless. Collectively, we had traded fear and
paranoia for the eternal bliss of pot smoking.
Conveniently
located by the chips that had enabled the most free period in American
history, we were herded into camps and forced at gunpoint to eradicate
our own plants with machetes and broadleaf weed killers. But even in the
camps, we were allowed to smoke. Naturally, we stockpiled more that we
pilfered during our day jobs.
We were determined to make the most of it and ride it out, convinced that the country would return to its senses in due time.
Eventually,
we were released without fanfare. We still had weed in our pockets as
we streamed back out of our prison gates. Like lemmings to the
slaughter.
Great celebrations were held. The first American
smoke-out began in earnest and lasted two days. Afterwards, we slept it
off, our stashes now burnt offerings.
There was no more pot to be
found after that. Clever bastards that we were, we only smoked
sensimilla. Seedless dope. We had no way to grow more, legally or
illegally.
But somewhere, deep in the forest, a sprout pushed its head out of the earth, hungry for sunlight...
The
legalization movement had reached critical mass. Society could no longer
resist the onslaught of popular opinion. Conventional wisdom was
prevailing: give the people what they want. So eager were we to have
peace, we rushed headlong into compromise.
Marijuana would be
legal across the entire U.S. Growers and users would simply have to
register with the federal government and accept a small, unobtrusive
tracking chip subdermally. To protect the children, that ancient device.
The
bill was signed into law, and we all jockeyed for position, eager to
sign on for our implants. Low serial numbers became status. Badges of
honor. Finally, we could cultivate and commune in peace.
For two
years, liberty and prosperity ruled the land. Then they came for us. We
were complacent and defenseless. Collectively, we had traded fear and
paranoia for the eternal bliss of pot smoking.
Conveniently
located by the chips that had enabled the most free period in American
history, we were herded into camps and forced at gunpoint to eradicate
our own plants with machetes and broadleaf weed killers. But even in the
camps, we were allowed to smoke. Naturally, we stockpiled more that we
pilfered during our day jobs.
We were determined to make the most of it and ride it out, convinced that the country would return to its senses in due time.
Eventually,
we were released without fanfare. We still had weed in our pockets as
we streamed back out of our prison gates. Like lemmings to the
slaughter.
Great celebrations were held. The first American
smoke-out began in earnest and lasted two days. Afterwards, we slept it
off, our stashes now burnt offerings.
There was no more pot to be
found after that. Clever bastards that we were, we only smoked
sensimilla. Seedless dope. We had no way to grow more, legally or
illegally.
But somewhere, deep in the forest, a sprout pushed its head out of the earth, hungry for sunlight...
Fear the Coming Used Ebook Market
"Changes aren't permanent - but change is" - Rush, "Tom Sawyer"
Did you know there is absolutely nothing preventing you from reselling ebooks? As the ebook movement gains steam, I can imagine someone knocking together a good used ebook retail site.
Think about it. It happens with books. How are ebooks different?
That's right. They're digital. Which means a single copy can be sold again and again. But I guess you already know that.
How would you feel if some site had an endless supply of your ebooks to sell, and you didn't get $.01 in royalties? There are ways to try and combat this, of course. DRM, for example. But no one likes DRM except pirates. Because they like to defeat it.
So a used ebook site is one thing. An honest used ebook site is quite another. Afterall, can you prove you bought this ebook you wish to resell?
I don't even want to think about this. I'll leave it to the lawyers. But, mark my words, this will happen. We didn't move from a static paper model to a static digital model. The shake-ups will keep coming for some time. You might want to send the kids to law school with all that book money you're making.
A GalleyCat article from six months ago kinda agrees with me. So there....
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/will-there-ever-be-a-used-ebook-market_b45131
Did you know there is absolutely nothing preventing you from reselling ebooks? As the ebook movement gains steam, I can imagine someone knocking together a good used ebook retail site.
Think about it. It happens with books. How are ebooks different?
That's right. They're digital. Which means a single copy can be sold again and again. But I guess you already know that.
How would you feel if some site had an endless supply of your ebooks to sell, and you didn't get $.01 in royalties? There are ways to try and combat this, of course. DRM, for example. But no one likes DRM except pirates. Because they like to defeat it.
So a used ebook site is one thing. An honest used ebook site is quite another. Afterall, can you prove you bought this ebook you wish to resell?
I don't even want to think about this. I'll leave it to the lawyers. But, mark my words, this will happen. We didn't move from a static paper model to a static digital model. The shake-ups will keep coming for some time. You might want to send the kids to law school with all that book money you're making.
A GalleyCat article from six months ago kinda agrees with me. So there....
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/will-there-ever-be-a-used-ebook-market_b45131
How To Get Busted Selling Dope
Jails are full of idiots. Remember that.
1. Stay
high. All the time. Smell like weed constantly. Adopt the heavy-lidded
stance of someone who clearly doesn't give a fuck.
2. Be high
profile. You make big money, flaunt it. Nice cars, expensive clothes,
advanced electronics. You're a baller. Rub their noses in it.
3.
Get lots of tattoos, primarily gang affiliations and pot leaves.
Commitment to a bit. Bonus points for white kids with "Member of Bloods"
tattoos on them.
4. Talk loudly about your operation to anyone
and everyone who will listen. Conduct deals in public on a cell phone
registered in your name.
5. Sell from your home. What good is all of your wealth if you can't make others envious?
6. Screw a different girl every week. If she doesn't like it, throw her ass out and get a new one. Feelings are for punks.
7. Money uber alles. It's all about dead presidents. No slack, no
breaks, no discounts, no family, no "friend prices". Cash on the
barrelhead.
8. Keep lots of money for lawyers, bail and commissary. You'll need it...
A Scanner Darkly
Fetid stench of paranoia (who do you trust?)
Robber cops and nazi lawyers (powerlust)
Stare into the camera's eye (smile wide)
Now your life is not your own (slaves to the satellites)
Wallow in your drug of choice (slow death)
Silencing your only voice (gasp for breath)
Speaking out is heresy (hold your tongue)
Serving the conspiracy (craft the rope from which you're hung)
Robber cops and nazi lawyers (powerlust)
Stare into the camera's eye (smile wide)
Now your life is not your own (slaves to the satellites)
Wallow in your drug of choice (slow death)
Silencing your only voice (gasp for breath)
Speaking out is heresy (hold your tongue)
Serving the conspiracy (craft the rope from which you're hung)
Angel
This was a story idea snippet. I wrote it about a year ago, and my girlfriend and I both said it was too heavy to write back then. It's one of the most brutal serial killer type books since American Psycho. I have a lot of other stuff to write, but I did write the introductory chapter. Angel is not the actual title, of course, but I learned to keep my titles secret until I publish. Call it superstition.
She traveled between two worlds, never knowing which was which. Heaven? Hell? By the time she got there, she had forgotten.
But in the meantime, while traveling, she was aware. Mostly aware. She didn't have all the answers, making full consciousness impossible.
How could the devil love her more than her own family, she wondered. Wouldn't that mean they were the real devils, here? She tried to think in other terms, but, no, she wasn't human. She was Angel.
Why, then, did she have human memories?
It was her understanding that humans died and became angels like her. Except for the ones that don't. She didn't want to think about them. But that should rightly leave her with a single himan life to remember, at best.
She remembered many.
Parts of many. They were occluded, hazy. It was like watching a movie through a pane of glass.
She traveled between two worlds, never knowing which was which. Heaven? Hell? By the time she got there, she had forgotten.
But in the meantime, while traveling, she was aware. Mostly aware. She didn't have all the answers, making full consciousness impossible.
How could the devil love her more than her own family, she wondered. Wouldn't that mean they were the real devils, here? She tried to think in other terms, but, no, she wasn't human. She was Angel.
Why, then, did she have human memories?
It was her understanding that humans died and became angels like her. Except for the ones that don't. She didn't want to think about them. But that should rightly leave her with a single himan life to remember, at best.
She remembered many.
Parts of many. They were occluded, hazy. It was like watching a movie through a pane of glass.
June 24, 2012
Firewatch
The flame that warms my soul
You, the candle
I, the wind
Together, we burn
ForeverBuy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...[image error]
You, the candle
I, the wind
Together, we burn
ForeverBuy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...[image error]
June 23, 2012
The Endless Forest
The path of the beam
Always leads to you
My sacred heart
And keeper of the flame
Lady libertine
The owl
In my Bohemian Grove
Forever
Never long enough
I need an extension
12-22-11Buy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...
Always leads to you
My sacred heart
And keeper of the flame
Lady libertine
The owl
In my Bohemian Grove
Forever
Never long enough
I need an extension
12-22-11Buy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...
6 Kick-Ass Video Games You *Will* Get To Play
I read an article on Cracked not long ago about the 6 Greatest Video Games We'll Never Get To Play, and I was a little pissed off. Not that I
really want to play Duke Nukem Forever or whatever. So I gave it a
moment's thought, and here are five kick-ass video games you will get to
play, and they're better than the ones you won't get to play.
The
game changer? Augmented reality. I've been an AR researcher for more than twenty years now, and the time is finally
almost here. Welcome to Japan fifteen years ago. Get your Google Goggles
and roll your own.
1. Star Wars Holographic Chess - What geek of
the past thirty years hasn't wanted to play this? It could even come
with a little round chess board to put on the coffee table.
Statistically, 68% of Star Wars fans would choose this over Slave Leia.
Which is understandable, as she's like 62, now. Plus, I don't recall
seeing any new releases of Battle Chess in a while. Not that I look.
2.
Little Green Army Men - If you're old enough to have seen Star Wars the
first time around, and had undescended testicles, you ordered a GIANT
FOOTLOCKER of little green army men. And then you were really fucking
disappointed. You could see through them, they were so thin. At least
they melted easily. Still, you played with them all over the living
room, and it was fun. This time around, they'll be running around on the
floor in 3D, climbing up onto the coffee table, cigar stub in mouth:
"Come on you fucking dogfaces! Do you want to live forever?" Which is
only amusing the first twenty times they say it.
3. Traci, I
Love You - A little tip to you about Traci Lords: she's a financial
genius. She made a ton of hot underage porn by using a fake ID and birth
certificate, made a ton of money, and is probably still the most famous
porn star in the world. Plus she might be doing a song with Lords of
Acid. Or already did. I didn't check. After her eighteenth birthday, she
produced her only legal porn, which she owns the rights to. That really
has nothing to do with this: Virtual/Augmented Reality will let you
bang a porn star while you have sex with your significant other. Okay,
maybe not a sixteen year old Traci, but the possibilities are endless,
here. Make a game out of it? Sasha Grey in "Custer's Revenge".
4.
Gunshot or Cumshot - My first piece of software uses facial recognition
and iris tracking to let you walk around the mall and shoot bullets or
semen. MINDBULLETS and MINDSEMEN! Cum on a dude's face, then blow his
head off. Shoot some chick, then cum on her neckhole. Expect a small
amount of social controversy to follow this game. I've been beta testing
it for years, now.
5. Halo/Doom/Crysis 10 - I have to admit, I
don't play games like this, but they're undeniably huge. Plus they feed
babies to the war machine, so that's always a good thing. But imagine
you and your jock buddies running around campus sniping each other, the
spray of blood from their arm as you deliver a flesh wound before
delivering your Deer Hunter headshot. Imagine getting shot for real by
the campus pigs. It'll happen to someone, somewhere. And you read it here and could have prevented it. Fuckhead.
6. Pretty much
anything - Very soon, our only limitations will be touch and gravity.
Within ten years, people will have the ability to be viewed as their
avatars in the real world. Cameron Diaz won't look fat, but she'll still
feel fat. Assuming you're Jack Black. Was she in that? Other than
flying and making fat girls skinny, this is panacea
It's going
to be hell. The world is going to look like fucking Myspace, and you'll
have to carry custom CSS just so your eyes don't melt. It'll be more
anachronistic and fucked up than when Star Trek nerds go to RenFest.
Virtual sex, virtual drugs and virtual violence, an uncrossable gulf for
the poor, major social upheaval.
I can't wait.Buy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...
really want to play Duke Nukem Forever or whatever. So I gave it a
moment's thought, and here are five kick-ass video games you will get to
play, and they're better than the ones you won't get to play.
The
game changer? Augmented reality. I've been an AR researcher for more than twenty years now, and the time is finally
almost here. Welcome to Japan fifteen years ago. Get your Google Goggles
and roll your own.
1. Star Wars Holographic Chess - What geek of
the past thirty years hasn't wanted to play this? It could even come
with a little round chess board to put on the coffee table.
Statistically, 68% of Star Wars fans would choose this over Slave Leia.
Which is understandable, as she's like 62, now. Plus, I don't recall
seeing any new releases of Battle Chess in a while. Not that I look.
2.
Little Green Army Men - If you're old enough to have seen Star Wars the
first time around, and had undescended testicles, you ordered a GIANT
FOOTLOCKER of little green army men. And then you were really fucking
disappointed. You could see through them, they were so thin. At least
they melted easily. Still, you played with them all over the living
room, and it was fun. This time around, they'll be running around on the
floor in 3D, climbing up onto the coffee table, cigar stub in mouth:
"Come on you fucking dogfaces! Do you want to live forever?" Which is
only amusing the first twenty times they say it.
3. Traci, I
Love You - A little tip to you about Traci Lords: she's a financial
genius. She made a ton of hot underage porn by using a fake ID and birth
certificate, made a ton of money, and is probably still the most famous
porn star in the world. Plus she might be doing a song with Lords of
Acid. Or already did. I didn't check. After her eighteenth birthday, she
produced her only legal porn, which she owns the rights to. That really
has nothing to do with this: Virtual/Augmented Reality will let you
bang a porn star while you have sex with your significant other. Okay,
maybe not a sixteen year old Traci, but the possibilities are endless,
here. Make a game out of it? Sasha Grey in "Custer's Revenge".
4.
Gunshot or Cumshot - My first piece of software uses facial recognition
and iris tracking to let you walk around the mall and shoot bullets or
semen. MINDBULLETS and MINDSEMEN! Cum on a dude's face, then blow his
head off. Shoot some chick, then cum on her neckhole. Expect a small
amount of social controversy to follow this game. I've been beta testing
it for years, now.
5. Halo/Doom/Crysis 10 - I have to admit, I
don't play games like this, but they're undeniably huge. Plus they feed
babies to the war machine, so that's always a good thing. But imagine
you and your jock buddies running around campus sniping each other, the
spray of blood from their arm as you deliver a flesh wound before
delivering your Deer Hunter headshot. Imagine getting shot for real by
the campus pigs. It'll happen to someone, somewhere. And you read it here and could have prevented it. Fuckhead.
6. Pretty much
anything - Very soon, our only limitations will be touch and gravity.
Within ten years, people will have the ability to be viewed as their
avatars in the real world. Cameron Diaz won't look fat, but she'll still
feel fat. Assuming you're Jack Black. Was she in that? Other than
flying and making fat girls skinny, this is panacea
It's going
to be hell. The world is going to look like fucking Myspace, and you'll
have to carry custom CSS just so your eyes don't melt. It'll be more
anachronistic and fucked up than when Star Trek nerds go to RenFest.
Virtual sex, virtual drugs and virtual violence, an uncrossable gulf for
the poor, major social upheaval.
I can't wait.Buy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...
Army of You
My universal soldier of love
Fighting the good fight
Against impossible odds
Prail Abraxis
Riding in a Sherman Oakes tank
All the way
To Fantasy Island
and tattoos
12-23-11Buy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...
Fighting the good fight
Against impossible odds
Prail Abraxis
Riding in a Sherman Oakes tank
All the way
To Fantasy Island
and tattoos
12-23-11Buy my books! http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Christie/...
