Christine Valters Paintner's Blog, page 54

Monk in the World Guest Post: Suzanne Dowd

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Suzanne Dowd's reflection on listening for grace.

It’s a rainy Thursday, I set up my laptop, make myself a cup a tea, put on a warm cozy sweater & settle in to the new comfy chair in my home office to do virtual sessions with my patients. My profession is that of a clinical social worker. Each week I feel privileged to walk with patients through their life stories. Some stories are so dark, I don’t know at first if they will ever see the light again. But, I have hope & through God’s grace give them hope for a light filled tomorrow.

Each person’s journey is unique. I ask God before the start of each work day. “Please Lord let your words flow off my tongue not my own.” God’s voice near fails.  I realized the other day that more that 90% of my caseload of patients have found meditation, visualization, prayer, painting, journaling or spending time in nature to be a deep part of their healing process. I don’t believe it is of my leading but of God’s nudging. So together we journey through the woods, or listen to a newly crafted poem, praying together, viewing a magnificent new work of art or doing breath work or visualization together. These are gifts of the spirit. No matter what age my patient is, 8 or 80, God’s presence is with us during each session & beyond.

I am a contemplative by nature.  Rising in the early morning before daybreak, it is the silence I embrace. Music to my ears. A cup of coffee, some spiritual reading, the writing of poetry. These days especially Haiku. Not sure why this form. All bring me peace & comfort to start the day in harmony.

The circumstances, of the now one year plus of the pandemic, had forced me to leave my office life behind & shelter in place which includes doing Telehealth with my patients from home. It was an adjustment at first. The physical connection of seeing patients in person adds to the therapeutic experience in so many ways. Body language, playing a game with a child, a cup of tea together, an occasional hug are all a part of the journey together. Transitioning to screen time seemed so impersonal at first but digging deeper, as the months of the pandemic progressed, led to more creativity. Strongly focusing on facial cues; finding ways to play games together online with children, leading a patient through a visualization or breath work, meeting family members & pets; actually having a meal together as we talk, listening to a patient play a song they wrote on guitar, a wave instead of a hug . . . all have added to the therapeutic process & are pure gift. I am reminded of a Leonard Cohen song, “Anthem”: ”there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in, that’s how the light gets in, that’s how the light gets in”.

As working from home continues into 2021, I embrace the nuances of each day. A break in my work day gives me the opportunity to prep for dinner; meditate more, do yoga or call a friend.

These things enrich my soul & lead me to go on with my work day refreshed in body, mind & spirit. Change is not easy but with hope, creativity, God’s love & graces . . . there is always light.

The morning’s daybreak
Glimpse of light
Hope for tomorrow

Suzanne Dowd, LCSW has been a licensed clinical social worker for more than 30 years. She loves her work as much today as when she first started, especially working with children & adolescents.  She is currently working on a book of Haiku & other poetry. Suzanne’s time with family & friends brings her the greatest of joys.

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Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color – June Video Discussion and Book Group Materials Now Available

Join Abbey of the Arts for a monthly conversation on how increasing our diversity of perspectives on contemplative practice can enrich our understanding and experience of the Christian mystical tradition. 

Christine Valters Paintner is joined by author Claudia Love Mair for a series of video conversations. Each month they take up a new book by or about a voice of color. The community is invited to purchase and read the books in advance and participate actively in this journey of deepening, discovery, and transformation. 

Click here to view this month's video discussion along with questions for reflection. 

Meditations of the Heart is a beautiful collection of meditations and prayers by one of our greatest spiritual leaders. Howard Thurman, the great spiritualist and mystic, was renowned for the quiet beauty of his reflections on humanity and our relationship with God. This collection of fifty-four of his most well-known meditations features his thoughts on prayer, community, and the joys and rituals of life. Within this collection are words that sustain, elevate, and inspire. Thurman addresses those moments of trial and uncertainty and offers a message of hope and endurance for people of all faiths.

Join our Lift Every Voice Facebook Group for more engagement and discussion.

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Sacred Balance ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

Dearest monks and artists,

Melinda Thomas has been offering her admin support at Abbey of the Arts for many years now. She is often the warm voice who replies to your emails and she makes sure the daily email newsletter gets formatted and scheduled. She has many more gifts, however, including being a terrific writer and an inspiring yoga teacher. 

She published a book last fall which brings together principles of yogic teaching with those from Benedictine spirituality, two traditions which have shaped me in significant ways. I am really delighted that she agreed to offer an online retreat for our community next weekend. Who among us doesn’t long for a deeper sense of balance in our lives. It will be our final online offering until the second half of August as we always take some quiet time in the summer to rest and dream. 

Whether you consider yourself a yogi or a monk, or neither but are curious about the connections, read on for some wisdom from Melinda and consider joining us:

“I am delighted by the opportunity to spend time with you this weekend and explore the balancing traditions of yoga and the Rule of St. Benedict. In my book, Sacred Balance: Aligning Body and Spirit Through Yoga and the Benedictine Way, I discuss the many ways Benedictine spirituality and yoga can work in conjunction with one another to promote a balanced approach to life. Here is a brief excerpt. 

'Even though it was written for monastics, the Rule has been a social and spiritual influence for more than 1,500 years. Attention to God’s presence in all things, the importance of right relationship, stability, listening, growth, hospitality, rhythms, silence, and sabbath: these themes transcend the walls of the monastery. Anyone can apply these underlying concepts to daily life. The temptation to say that it is easier to live them out within the confines of a cloister is to dismiss the shared challenges of being human. Yes, it may be less difficult for a monk or nun to pause and pray the psalms and liturgies seven times a day than it is for a layperson; but is it any easier to focus on the Divine in the moment?

Balanced living in spirit, mind, and body is a dynamic conversation between steadiness and motion, work and prayer, sound and silence, activity and rest. Study and application of the balancing way of Benedictine spirituality and yoga are useful markers on the path. Their wisdom has endured the test of time with its evolving cultural norms, politics, theology, technology, and medicine precisely because these traditions bring a steadying dialogue within an ever-changing world. 

If you are new to Benedictine spirituality or yoga, or if any of the ideas and practices feel foreign, I encourage you to approach them with an open mind and the Benedictine principles of listening and growth. We don’t know what we don’t know. The path of balance invites us to be curious, exploratory, and receptive to God’s call in the here and now.

In the prologue to the Rule, Benedict quotes Jesus’s words: 'Run while you have the light of life that the darkness of death may not overtake you' (John 12:35). The first Yoga Sutra reads, 'Now is the exposition of yoga.' The time is now. Balance is not an elusive goal. The path of balance is like God: ever present at all times and in all places. All we must do is shift our attention to see it and welcome it more fully into our hearts and lives. In this moment. Now.'

In this online retreat we will explore the complementary principles of: humility and hospitality; listening, stability and conversion; rhythms, silence and sabbath. Through gentle yoga, meditation, journaling, and discussion, tap into time honored wisdom and practices that affirm a balanced approach to daily living. May our time together help us seek new ways or reaffirm old ones that help us live in balance."

With great and growing love,

Christine 

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, REACE

Photo (c) Melinda Emily Thomas

Photo Text: "The wisdom of Benedictine spirituality and yoga have endured the test of time with its evolving cultural norms politics, theology, technology and medicine precisely because these traditions bring a steadying dialogue within an ever changing world."

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Monk in the World Guest Post: Lisa Bozarth Ozaeta

I am delighted to share this beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series by Lisa Bozarth Ozaeta. Lisa is joining Abbey of the Arts as our new seminary intern for the next two years. She is in training for ordination in the Episcopal church and we are delighted to have her enthusiasm and gifts in service to this community. She will be involved in several of our programs. Here she shares a bit of her own practice of silence:

One of my rituals is to plant myself on my back deck early in the morning. I take a cup of coffee, my journal, my phone, and a blanket. I sit on our metal outdoor sofa with ill-fitting cushions. It is both a little uncomfortable and perfectly familiar. My time is spent reading a verse, hearing a song, scratching in my journal, and sitting. The point is to sit in silence and stillness. Most of the time, I just stare into the forest. Being in the midst of the woods means that my silence and stillness are not very quiet. There are the sounds of the neighbor's goats and the rooster down the road. Birds sing, the winds blow, and cars rumble down the old logging road at the bottom of our hill. It is very noisy silence. There was a time that I would put noise cancelling earphones on to cancel out all of the sound. I was seeking the serenity of separation from the world. My hope was to create a quiet place that was mine alone. I do still like to enter this kind of solitude from time to time, but my morning time is now about being silent and still amongst the noisy outdoors where I live.

As I have continued to journey into the life of a monk in the world, I have embraced the sounds of the trees, the animals, and my neighbors. I am the crazy lady that talks to the birds, squirrels, and trees. Mostly, I say thank you. Many days, I ask the trees what they have seen over the hundreds of years they have stood in what is now my backyard.

My daughter once asked me if the trees talk back. I assured her that they do. They speak to me about holding my place when things get tumultuous. They remind me to point to the light so that I can continue to grow. They show me how to be a shelter for those in need and to provide food for the hungry. They also remind me that they were here before me and will be here when I am gone. When I cancelled all the noise around me, I could only hear my own thoughts. By allowing myself to open my ears, I hear the wisdom of the trees and creatures that live in my temporary home. It is only be letting the noise of the world in that I can actually find the true grounding of silence.

I take this grounding back into the world of four children and covid schooling and new warning lights blinking in my car. When the sounds around me are the echoes of frustrated voices instead of the goat’s bleat, I am rooted. Even when my first reaction is not the reaction that I want, I am called back to the voice of the tree saying, “Find your strength. Find your silence in the noise.” I am at a place in my journey that I want to move from practicing rituals to embodying stillness. I want to move from doing to being. I am not there. I do not always respond with listening. I talk too fast and too often. I think and plan more than I listen and hear. But, my practice of staring into the forest is transforming me. I believe that the more I listen to what God has to teach me through creation, the more I will find my place as a monk in the world.

Lisa Bozarth Ozaeta lives outside of Seattle with her wife and four kids. She is serving as the Abbey’s seminary intern over the next two years. Lisa teaches in the Healthcare Master of Administration program at the University of Southern California and is a seminary student at Bexley Seabury Seminary.

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Pentecost + Monk in the World podcast (Creative Joy)

Creative Joy: Day 7 Morning and Evening Prayer

"What is serious to men is often very trivial in the sight of God. What in God might appear to us as 'play' is perhaps what He Himself takes most seriously. At any rate the Lord plays and diverts Himself in the garden of His creation, and if we could let go of our own obsession with what we think is the meaning of it all, we might be able to hear His call and follow Him in His mysterious, cosmic dance."

---Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

Dearest monks and artists,

We now have morning and evening audio podcasts for Day 7 of our Monk in the World Prayer Cycle available for you to pray with! The theme for Day 7 is Creative Joy and invites us to make space not only for the challenges and grief that we hold, but also for the cosmic dance at the heart of all creation. Our lives are lived in this tension and both are essential.

We live in the midst of chaotic times. As crises continue to build, we may find ourselves confused or fearful. We may want to gather in the upper room of our lives with our closest friends and close the door on a troubled world just like the disciples. Yet chaos always calls for creative response, it always beckons us to open to holy surprise. It asks that we trust that Love and Joy are at the foundation of things.

Today is the feast of Pentecost, that glorious final day of the season of resurrection. The Apostles were together experiencing bewilderment over how to move forward when the Holy Spirit flows among them and breathes courage into their hearts. If we have stayed committed to our Easter pilgrimage this far then we may still wonder why we have journeyed so long and still are full of fear and unknowing.

It says that those who witnessed this event were "amazed and perplexed." Some were confused, others cynical. Peter reminds the crowds of the words the prophet Joel declared, that all will be called to dreams and visions, all will need to be attentive to signs and wonders.

The story of Pentecost asks us a question: How do I let my expectations and cynicism close my heart to the new voice rising like a fierce wind?

Eugene Peterson describes it this way: "What we must never be encouraged to do, although all of us are guilty of it over and over, is to force Scripture to fit our experience. Our experience is too small; it's like trying to put the ocean into a thimble. What we want is to fit into the world revealed by Scripture, to swim in its vast ocean."

About twenty years ago I was going through an intense period of discernment. I had finished graduate school and found that my desires were no longer in alignment with the path I had initially imagined for myself. I spent long periods of time in silence and solitude, engaging all of the essential techniques for discernment I had learned in my studies and previous practice. I was taking this very seriously because this was my life path I was pondering. Then one night I had a dream about koala bears trying to get a map out of my hands so they could play with me. In my reflection time that followed I discovered a playful God who was calling me to take myself and my discernment far less seriously than I had been. I love to laugh but in my longing to discover the next path, I had forgotten what Merton reminds us in the opening quote: how playfulness is woven into the heart of the universe, how sometimes what God takes most seriously is what we easily dismiss.

Pentecost demands that we listen with a willing heart, and that we open ourselves to ongoing radical transformation. We discover that the pilgrimage does not end here, instead we are called to a new one of sharing our gifts with the world. Soul work is always challenging and calls us beyond our comfort zone. Prayer isn't about baptizing the status quo, but entering into dynamic relationship with the God who always makes things new. Scripture challenges our ingrained patterns of belief, our habitual attitudes and behavior.

To be fully human and alive is to know the tension of our dustiness, our mortality, to be called to a profoundly healthy humility where we acknowledge that we can know very little of the magnificence of the divine Source of all. The Spirit descends on those gathered together in a small room and breaks the doors wide open. We are reminded that practicing resurrection is not for ourselves alone, but on behalf of a wider community. Not only for those with whom we might attend church services, but beyond to the ones who sit at the furthest margins of our awareness. Pentecost is a story of the courage that comes from breaking established boundaries.

We may limit our vision through cynicism, but equally through certainty or cleverness. Sometimes we fear doubt so much that we allow it to make our thoughts rigid, we choose certainties and then never make space for the Spirit to break those open or apart. The things we feel sure that God does not care about may be precisely the source of healing for a broken world.

Life isn't about knowing with more and more certainty. This is the invitation of our creative practice as well, to move more deeply into the mystery of things. I find that the older I get, the less sure I am about anything and the richer my life becomes as I make space for unknowing, expansiveness, and possibilities far beyond my capacity for imagining. If when Pentecost arrives you do not find yourself perplexed or amazed, consider releasing the tight grip of your certain thoughts and make space for holy surprise.

Today we release Day 7 of our Monk in the World prayer cycle audio podcasts on the theme of Creative Joy. You can now access the audio podcasts for all 7 days of both our Earth Monastery prayer cycle and the Monk in the World prayer cycle at this link. The video podcasts for the Monk in the World series will be produced this fall.

With great and growing love,

Christine

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, REACE

PS – Spirituality and Practice has posted a lovely review of my newest book Sacred Time!

Photo © Christine Valters Paintner

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Monk in the World Guest Post: Tom (TA) Delmore

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to our Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Tom (TA) Delmore's reflection taken from the introduction to his book Crossing up River.

A children’s story which is only enjoyed
By children is a bad children’s story. ~  C. S. Lewis

 I have been a shy searcher for a relationship with God most of my life. Different paths have taught me much. This is God and I walking together.

 St Ignatius of Loyola taught me something about story. He said: “put yourself in the gospel story, imagine what it must be like.” I took this to heart and began to enter other stories, children’s picture book became a way to enter into my story. I was looking for my Wounded Child, Tommy, and finding the healing I needed. 

I came to write Crossing up River from my life experience of being a detention worker in a juvenile institution, preschool teacher, parent, spiritual director and an abused child. 

Why should adults read and observe the art in children’s picture books? That’s a great question! If you have children you probably already do. If you are a teacher of young children you would and hopefully, read to them on a daily basis, and if you have a Wounded Inner Child in you, and most of us do, then it’s a good time to reconnect with that child. Oh, and if you think about it, most children’s books are written by adults!

These stories are meant for the child to wonder at and through, for parents to live vicariously through their young child’s emotions. And yes, grow into the adult you are meant to be. I believe that we are sometimes narrow our view of children’s picture books. In Crossing up River I have seen the narrow expand into a healing ocean! My imagination cries for more. Leap into Amos and Boris by William Steig where a mouse can do amazing things for a whale and vice versa. Join Al in Hey Al by Arthur Yorinks, Richard Egielski as he wakes up to read the signs around him before he turns into a sleepy bird i.e. a lotus eater. Tub Grandfather By Pam Conrad, Richard Egielski who disappears but is too important to ever forget. 

As a preschool teacher, I watched the literal/imaginative minds of three and four-year-olds take in stories in a very satisfying way. These stories are a perfect example of how as children we read the story as a child. One day reading the wonderful story of The Five Chinese Brothers by Claire Bishop and Kurt Wiese, I came to the part in the book where one of the brothers takes the whole ocean into his mouth so that a boy who has been pestering a Chinese brother can pick treasures up off the ocean floor. I asked myself what the ocean signifies in my life.  The little boy is told to keep an eye on the Chinese brother for a signal to return so the ocean can go back to its rightful place. The boy does not follow directions, and the book says the boy disappears. I asked the children what happened to the boy, without hesitation they said he died. A very literal response and a correct one for a child, but it did not say that in the book. On this day, a shift occurred in me the boy disappeared but I sensed he could return (a trickster character possibly) and cause more mischief later on. I began to change the metaphor not the story for myself, to a place of healing. Where had my boy Tommy gone? From then on I read children’s books with a different ear and eye. My leap and belief is that these books are postmodern fairytales for adults! The Jesuits would also say we need to stretch, and I believe that is what I am doing in reading and interpreting these books for adult healing.

I ask myself these questions: Who am I in the story? How does this book affect me as an adult? And, do I have the ability to go beyond the literal and to imagine in ways I never could? What is the truth for me in these stories?  

I was raised with rules and beliefs that are not so relevant today. Here is a chance to look at books we loved as a children and see the healing that is available for us as adults! Here is a chance to see books for the first time again and marvel into a new way of seeing and hearing into healing and wholeness. If I can feel these stories in me I have faith you can as well. I was ready for the shift on the inside when the preschoolers told me their answer and mine was different. Not wrong, different. I gave you a few titles in this article of books to enter into but you might have favorites of your own. Read boldly onward!

By Tom (TA) Delmore copyright  2020 unpublished

[image error]Tom A (TA) Delmore lives in Bellevue, Washington. His books of poetry include Eclipsing F Crow Poems (Little Letterhead Press, 1996); Child is working to Capacity (Moon Pie Press, 2006); A Poultice for Belief (March Street Press, 2009); Tell them that you saw me but didn't see me saw (Moon Pie Press, 2011). Individual poems have been published in Raven Chronicles and Seattle M.E.N. Magazine. His latest Poem appears in; Take a Stand Art Against Hate. A Raven Chronicles Anthology. Titled: Homeless Vet. 2020 Visit him at  CrowsPerch.blogspot.com

A forthcoming poem In America Magazine a Jesuit Weekly.

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Awakening the Creative Spirit + Monk in the World podcast (Conversion) ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

Conversion: Day 6 Morning and Evening Prayer

Dearest monks and artists,

Today we release Day 6 Morning and Evening prayer of our Monk in the World audio podcast on the theme of conversion! Conversion is very much a monastic principle that has less to do with the idea of “being converted” as a one-time event and more of a commitment to a lifetime of growing and deepening. We are very much committed to the practice of conversion here at Abbey of the Arts, believing that none of us is done growing and transforming during our lives. There is always more to discover and awaken to.

This opening to holy surprise is perhaps most apparent in the creative process. When we show up with a beginner’s heart and allow the process to unfold without our interference or editing, we end up on a sacred journey of discovery. We draw this approach to creativity from the field of expressive arts which values process over product, creative unfolding over steering a course with a particular goal in mind.

We make space for this way of creating in our online and in-person programs. For many it is a revelation to have permission to play, to experiment, to see what unfolds when we get out of our own way and quiet the inner critic, judge, and planner. This, of course, also applies to life. Creative practice helps us to then approach the whole of our lives in this way.

Kayce Stevens Hughlett is one of our long-time Wisdom Council members. I became friends with Kayce about 15 years ago when she attended our first Awakening the Creative Spirit intensive, which at the time we led in Seattle. She became a poster child for creative awakening and the journey has taken her many amazing places, both internally and externally.

For a few years after moving to Europe I would travel back to the U.S. to offer our Awakening intensive with my wonderful co-teacher Betsey Beckman. I love teaching that program but it became apparent that so much transatlantic travel wasn’t sustainable for me. I realized that in order for that material to continue to be available I had to lean into support from others and Kayce stepped in to be Betsey’s co-facilitator for that program offered each year in the Pacific Northwest.

Awakening the Creative Spirit will be offered again this October 31-November 5, 2021 on the beautiful Hood Canal in Union, WA. I asked Kayce to say a few words in this love note and to share again a post she wrote a while back about what it means for her to be an artist of being alive.

From Kayce: “As I began to read the following post that I wrote almost 8 years ago, I wondered if it would stand the test of time. I'm delighted to answer with a resounding, "Yes!" Creativity and artistry in life are practices that ground me into my spirituality. In preparing to once again lead Awakening the Creative Spirit with Betsey Beckman, I offer immense gratitude for the priceless gift of holding space for others and helping nurture their artists within. I invite you to read on at this link and notice what internal nudges you might feel for yourself as an artist of being alive.”

If you are a soul care practitioner, consider joining Betsey and Kayce for this wonderful program gathering this fall in the Pacific Northwest, US.

And of course all are invited to continue to cultivate their inner artists, that part of ourselves that falls in love with the beauty of the world and sparks a creative aliveness and joy in living. With great and growing love,

Christine

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, REACE

Photo © Christine Valters Paintner

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Monk in the World Guest Post: Carol Delmonico

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Carol Delmonico's reflection, "The Child's Way."

The More Than Human World is my Abbey. The sense of our sacred interconnectivity is awakened as I contemplate and cultivate reverence for all living beings.

[image error]Our tan 1984 Volvo wagon pulls into the dirt parking lot at Shevlin Park.

It’s early May,1994. My three year old daughter Phoebe is sitting in the backseat, beginning to unbuckle herself from her carseat.
I open the back door and scoop all twenty five pounds of her up in the air and spin her around. She lets out a squeal of delight and I gently place her on the ground beside me.
I reach into my red backpack containing two apples, a water bottle and some extra clothes. I pull out her flowered pink and yellow sunhat, and tie it under her chin.

We are on our Monday morning contemplative adventure in one of our, still, favorite places in the world. Ours is the only vehicle in the parking area.

The light filters through the massive Ponderosa trees that stand quietly where the forest meets this human created clearing.
It’s just shy of eleven and the light in this canyon is almost overhead.
The scent of fresh buds and pine boughs fill the air.

We have this peaceful adventure memorized in our bones, as the sounds of forest meet the vocal silence of two humans.

She and I turn onto the path that leads to Tumalo Creek. The canopy of Ponderosa and Tamarack trees sway in the light breeze, and the blue sky blazes above.
They are the magical guardians guiding our hearts on this deep and quiet amble.

I scoop Phoebe up a second time, to press our noses to the puzzle piece like, burnished reddish-orange, bark of a majestic Ponderosa.
We both take a deep inhale and breathe in, and then another.
The vanilla-y caramel scent wafts through our bodies.
Clinging to the hairs beneath our noses.
I can sense the satisfied sigh we each make without audibly hearing it.

Phoebe slips from my arms to the soft sandy forest floor, and reaches for my left hand. Her small fingers entwine in mine as we meander to the curve in the path that gives us our first clear view of the Creek.

We pause to take in the dappled light waltzing across the rushing water. The wooden walking bridge in the distance. The tall green grasses waving on the edge of water and dry land.
We breath the creek in, the cold energizing scent of clear water, until, almost in unison, our bodies turn right and we meander on.

We follow our feet and find our way back onto the trail that curves as the creek does, the next few turns invisible in the moment.
We pass the wild rose bushes, freshly in bloom, and hear the singing of unseen song sparrows in the dense newly green bushes.

As we reach the next bend the path widens into an open space. To our left is our favorite beach. A sandy, pebbly patch about ten feet wide, a crescent moon shaped curl.

As we get closer and our eyes focus, we pause and stare.
I find my mouth opened in surprised delight! Phoebe’s hand squeezing mine.

The beach and shoreline are filled with hundreds of quarter size translucent baby blue butterflies.

Phoebe's bright blue eyes reach for my hazel green ones. We still haven’t spilled a word.
The marvel of what we behold has meandered to our lips, and with wide toothy grins we step forward to get a closer look.
We pause a short distance from them and each sink into a squat so our eyes are in line with the cloud of blue motion.

Hundreds of them are swirling and twirling just above the water, and hundreds more flutter on the beach.

We breathe, we watch, we become more still.

After a few minutes I notice out of the corner of my eye Phoebe has lifted her left arm up.
It sits there for a minute or two, bare in the late morning light, and then I watch as one sweet beauty of a butterfly floats onto her outstretched hand.
It flaps gently and then grows still.
I can sense my daughter's eyes both on the butterfly and glancing my way to see if I am witnessing what she is.
I nod almost imperceptibly so she knows I am with her.
Our glowing eyes rest gently together on this magnificent living being.

Breathing inter-being in.
Loving for the moment.
Still as we can be.

After what feels like hours but is more likely a few more minutes, the tiny winged creature lifts her spindly legs off Phoebe’s small hand and flies off to join her community flitting above the water's edge.

Phoebe turns towards me, her blue eyes wide and sparkelin. There is both a deep stillness and a faraway dreamy look about her as she rises up to standing and comes over and slips her small body between my legs. Sitting down cross legged on the moist ground she leans back against me.

We are both content to be still.
To contemplate the more than human world for as long as it takes for us to merge our senses and be the butterfly.

Our scapulas becoming wings, our bodies floating above the creeks sandy crescent shore.
For a moment, a day, eternity.

Phoebe is now 30. Together and apart we share this contemplative journey with the more than human world.

Carol Delmonico co-creates guidebooks to bring us back to our interconnected relational selves. She mentors clients using the guidebooks, deep listening, and a multitude of well-being and resilience practices. Carol resides in Central Oregon among the Ponderosa trees and wide open skies. You can learn more about her at WonderupRising.com

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Monk in the World Podcast (Sabbath) ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

Sabbath: Day 5 Morning and Evening Prayer

St. Julian and the Cat

Stone by stone the wall grew
until her cell was sealed,
light blocked except for
three small windows –
one for sacrament
another, food and waste
a third to give guidance.

Each day brought dozens to her
praying for their sick and dead,
night became time of solace
and silence, she could not
sleep long in the damp,
pulled wool close around her
as she sighed into the dark,
relief at quiet moments.

Then came mewing,
leaping, pouncing, the cat
left there to catch rats,
at first annoyed at disruption
she soon found wisdom
in his aim and purpose,
grace in his hours of stillness,
how she too was there to hunt
the holy, and rest into being.

Morning prayers became
a mix of chants and purrs
as warm fur nestles into her lap.

Visitors arrive again
to her window, she gives
her most sage advice:

allow yourself to be comforted,
do not be afraid of the night,
and pursue what you long for
with a love that is fierce.

---Christine Valters Paintner, The Wisdom of Wild Grace

Dearest monks and artists,

This week we share Day 5 Morning and Evening Prayer for the Monk in the World Prayer Cycle on the theme of Sabbath. Pray with us and be invited into God’s generous gift of rest. Whether you take a Sabbath hour or day or a sabbatical time, this commitment to stopping and being for a while is a vital source of renewal so we can continue offering our work to the world from a place of surplus and wellspring.

This past year plus has been a time of pandemic and compassionate retreat. Like many of you, I have found incredible solace and wisdom from Julian of Norwich, a 14th century English anchorite who lived during the time of the plague.

As an anchorite she chose to be sealed into a small stone cell on the side of a church in Norwich and be a presence of prayer and compassion to the community. She had long hours in solitude, but also had a window into the church so she could participate in the daily prayers and sacraments, and she also had a window to the outside where pilgrims and seekers could come to ask her wisdom and guidance. She was part hermit and part spiritual director.

These past many months of retreating at home have given me a gift, even in the midst of so much loss and sorrow. I have always loved being at home, but also love to travel, and could often find my attention drifting off to future journeys, instead of presence to the moment (I am very future-oriented anyway, which is why being a monk is such good practice for me!) With the prospect of travel removed for the unknown future, I found myself savoring the quiet, ordinary rhythms of home in new ways. I grew to cherish my sweet dog Sourney and my beloved husband John even more than I already did, as companions in my anchorhold. I started buying more plants to feel myself surrounded by growing things and the act of nurturing them into greater life and greenness. Even our simple meal preparations became more nourishing as the options of eating out were eliminated.

I have also loved teaching online and having connections to this global community of monks on a regular basis. I feel like Julian showing up at her cell window when I open up my Zoom portal to offer some teaching and presence.

This is the gift of the monastic way: a heightened cherishing of the ordinary. St. Benedict wrote in his Rule for communities that the kitchen utensils were just as sacred as the vessels of the altar.

I am thrilled to be offering a Zoom mini-retreat on Thursday, May 13th for the Feast of Julian of Norwich. I will be co-leading with author Mary Sharratt who has written a wonderful book titled Revelations which is about the friendship between Julian and Margery Kempe, a very different kind of mystic and pilgrim in the world. Join us as we explore these two mystical women and their pathways into presence to the holy in our midst.

With great and growing love,

Christine

PS – I was interviewed for Spirit Mornings Catholic Radio on my newest book Sacred Time. You can listen here >>

Image credit: © Marcy Hall at Rabbit Room Arts (prints available here)

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Monk in the World Guest Post: Katharine Weinmann

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I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Katharine Weinmann's reflection "Holy Alchemy"

“Praying. It doesn’t have to be the blue iris,
it could be weeds in a vacant lot, or a few small stones;
just pay attention, then patch a few words together
and don’t try to make them elaborate…”

~ excerpted from Prayer in Thirst by Mary Oliver

I pray. Not so often in that formal, elaborate, church going way. But when I think of Anne Lamott’s two favourite prayers, “Help me, help me, help me,” and “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I’m devout.

Too, when I sit in the still and quiet morning before sunrise – which comes earlier now – and look out onto the trees, still bare-limbed, but soon full of bursting buds and blossoms. Or when I’m beside Annie on “her” sofa, my hand resting on her head, her front paw resting on my arm. Those count too, I think.

I’ve written about more consciously living my life as prayer since the pandemic, one of its unforeseen gifts. Though when I wrote about getting lost during the medicine walk I took last summer - how I’d managed to manifest into the 3D physical, my interior lostness - I felt shy to admit I’d prayed as I’d been taught, it being part of the preparation for the medicine walk and fasting quest I took the year before. That to offer thanks, to ask for guidance and protection - even as simple as an Anne Lamott “thank you, help me” kind of prayer - at the threshold between one’s urban, more mundane life and the wilder, nature bound, sacred space beyond, brings intention into consciousness and evokes the power of mystery. Too, I chanted on the trail for hundreds of steps, the Buddhist mantra “om mani padme hum,” to keep myself company, and let anyone out there - hidden in the woods - know I was around. My vocal version of a bear bell.

Truth be told, I absolutely believe those prayers helped me get found, safe and sound. Helped me avoid any wildlife encounters beyond bird song, dragonflies, and scat. Like when I realized I’d lost the diamond stud earring, a cherished gift from my husband, and prayed for its return.

Three days had passed before I realized the stud wasn’t in my ear lobe. After retracing all my steps and stops, I took a chance to revisit the gym where I’d played pickleball, where earlier when I’d called to ask if it had been found, I’d been told no as they’d taken down the nets, swept the floors, and installed inflatables for children to play during spring break. Undismayed, I walked, head bent, tracing the room’s periphery, disobeying the “stay away” sign where the inflatable was plugged in. There it was, glittering on the floor, inches away from the socket. How it had not been spotted by anyone plugging in and pulling out that cord for several days, was my answered prayer. Admittedly trivial in the scheme of things, with so much going from bad to worse every day, especially this past year, but for me a vivid, visceral reminder.

When I sheepishly shared my “lost on the Lost Lake Trail medicine walk story” with friends who had served as my quest guides, they said that what shone through was my recognition of prayer and its power. That yes, I had been held safe by an ancient benevolent wisdom found in nature. That I had remembered David Wagoner’s poem telling me to stand still in the forest when I was lost. That I had a cellphone and service. That I had taken the map with emergency contact numbers. That the warden was back from vacation that very day. That she was in that provincial park, given her area of responsibility is all the public spaces spanning hundreds of kilometres to the west. That I hadn’t been stalked by the coyotes that had stalked another woman and her dogs on the same trail that same day, causing the warden’s delay in fetching me while she “rescued” them. That the gunshots I heard fired by hunters were safely beyond. That the sun shone and the breeze blew comfortably. That I had water, food, and time. Yes, I had prepared, and yes, I had been heard.

In that same conversation, we talked about their country with its upcoming presidential election, the pandemic impacts of COVID-19 and racism, about the forest fires burning in three states, leaving death and destruction, orange skies and zero visibility in their wake. I shared feeling the tension of wanting to do something to help, and not knowing what. The next day, I emailed them:

… I realized I have felt “spellbound” by thinking I must do something, and not knowing what TO DO. But I then remembered, I do know how to pray…You wrote to me once with the gift of invocation that I recognize with increasing vividness that I know what I know, that find myself less and less inclined to self-doubt, meekness and hesitation.”

So, yes, I know what I know. I know the power of prayer.
I know too, the making of beauty.
I know the power of prayer and the making of beauty are my offerings for contemplative action.
And this I know is Holy Alchemy for living as a monk in the world.

In her blog and podcast, A Wabi Sabi Life, Katharine Weinmann, MSW shares the beauty in her imperfect, sometimes broken, mostly well-lived and loved life, reminding herself and inviting others to appreciate and allow life to unfold in all its mess and glory, with all its grit and grace.

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