Kathi Lipp's Blog, page 74

Episode #226- Planning for Peace in the Midst of Conflict

Planning for peace during the holidays

Christmas is a time of celebration. Sometimes it is also a time of conflict. And “hope it goes well” is not a plan, my friends. Today on the podcast, we are discussing how planning for peace in the midst of conflict can calm the overwhelming feelings we are are all getting just thinking about it all.

You are often forced to celebrate the holidays with people you have a history with. You love them, but some aren’t as enjoyable to be around as others. Maybe you just hope for the best and that you get through the day. Kathi says, “Hope is not a plan!”

Kathi and Roger discuss tips for planning Christmas with less stress and more enjoyment by planning for peace.

 

Episode #226- Planning for Peace in the Midst of Conflict

Get Yourself Organized for Christmas Project 1: What is Your Christmas Mission?

Assignment:  Create your holiday/Christmas mission statement

In order to enjoy a peaceful holiday season, you may have to let go of some things you’ve always done. It’s time to focus on what brings you and your family joy. Make a list of what you normally do around the holidays, as well as what you’d like your holiday season to look like.

After your list is complete, circle or highlight what is most important to you and your family. Next, cross out what you can let go of this year. Once you’ve focused on what you’d like your celebration to look like, grab your index cards! It’s time to write your Christmas mission statement.

Remember to stick the cards somewhere visible to help remind you of your Christmas plan.

For More Details: Get Yourself Organized For Christmas (page 22)

Supplies: two or three index cards, a marker, My Holiday Mission Statement form (found in the back of Get Yourself Organized for Christmas)

Share Your Thoughts: 

Now that you have your Christmas priorities straight, how do you feel?   What did you decide to eliminate?  What gets top priority?   Where did you post your Christmas mission statement?

Avoiding Overwhelm:

Your Holiday Mission Statement is a way of pre-deciding what’s important to you, so you won’t stay up all night Christmas Eve making the perfect bows for your presents when your family would prefer a well-rested mama who remembers to turn the oven on for Christmas dinner. (Not that any of us has been there … )

Thanksgiving is coming up too! If you are hosting, grab your downloadable copy of Get Yourself Organized for Thanksgiving for just $.99 in the Shop.

 

For more tips on being true to your future self, preorder Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity.

Get Yourself Organized for Christmas Project 1: What is Your Christmas Mission?

Get Yourself Organized for Christmas Pre Project: Prep for the Christmas Project

Thinking about Christmas can be both exhilarating and exhausting. Thinking of all there is to do, buy, bake, cook, wrap, plan, organize, clean, and the list goes on. It is no wonder many think about the holiday season with dread and forget the true meaning of why we celebrate.

Whether you are filled with magical wonder or dread, one thing is for certain: ready or not, Christmas is going to happen.

Christmas is just a day. It isn’t the day that is the problem, it’s the expectations around the day that create the problems in our minds. Let’s change that! Let’s make the holidays something you look forward to and even enjoy. I want you to have the kind of Christmas where you celebrate the things truly important to you.

Prep for the Christmas project

So let’s get started with four quick pre-project assignments:

1. Assignment: Get the book Get Yourself Organized for Christmas and read through page 20.

Find out what activities are important to your family or friends that you celebrate Christmas with.
Figure out what is important to you.

2. Assignment: Grab a friend.

Get yourself that accountability partner who has been saying the same thing as you, “This year, I’m going to be ready for Christmas BEFORE Christmas Eve.” We know, she is your friend because she too struggles and is not afraid to admit that. Join with them because together we will tackle this as a team.

Now, the next part is crucial. Decide how you are going to check in with each other and how often. Make it a commitment. Make a plan. You know the saying “either you are failing to plan or planning to fail.” Just decide that is okay to ‘fail’ but don’t not plan because then you will fail. Since we know there is no such thing as perfect we can deal with a little failure or falling off the bandwagon, but what we don’t want to do is set ourselves up for failure by having no plan.

3. Assignment: Find a used three-ring binder or purchase a new one.

Getting organized for Christmas doesn’t happen overnight. But following the steps in Get Yourself Organized for Christmas gets you on your way in 22 days. One item you will need to keep all your Christmas information together is a binder. It doesn’t have to be new. It can be one your children used at school or one you used before.

It should be a three-ring binder, and if you want a special cover, you will need one with a plastic covering with a slit to insert a printed sheet. These look nice, but are not necessary. I recommend the two inch binders so you have lots of room for everything. If you have to purchase, pick one up at your local Walmart, Target or dollar stores.

Supplies:  three-ring binder, pens, My Holiday Binder Cover

4. Assignment: Designate an area, one place for all of your wrapping supplies. Think of it as your Christmas headquarters! Maybe it’s your bedroom, an office or a closet. Wherever it is, clean up the area and make space to store the extra supplies. You can locate your Christmas headquarters anywhere – even the dining table?! No judgments here! I don’t think kids care that much, do you?

Share your thoughts: 

If you could wave a magic wand, what would you eliminate about Christmas? What activities would you be sure to keep? Who will be your accountability partner?  What is your plan for accountability?

If you haven’t purchased Get Yourself Organized for Christmas yet, click here!

Avoiding overwhelm:

Remember — it doesn’t have to be perfect. Give yourself permission to be happy with “good enough.”

Get Yourself Organized for Christmas Pre Project: Prep for the Christmas Project

Episode #225- Get Yourself Organized for Thanksgiving

Holidays can be stressful, Thanksgiving is no exception. While the focus is to be counting our blessings, the stress can send us over the edge. Cooking a big meal for a larger than normal group of people is stressful. Even if you aren’t cooking, fixing a dish to take with you, making sure everyone is on their best behavior, dealing with relatives that sometimes push your buttons can cause extra stress.

Listen in as Kathi talks about 10 ways to reduce Thanksgiving Stress and enjoy the day. Her tips will help you plan, clean, prepare the meal, and enjoy the day with less stress.

Don’t miss our Get Yourself Organized for Christmas challenge. We’ll be going through 21 days of (simple & quick) projects that will get your Christmas organized well ahead of time so you can enjoy a stress free holiday season. Subscribe to the blog. The challenge begins November 14, 2016.

 

Episode #225- Get Yourself Organized for Thanksgiving

Enlarging Your Faith: Never Say Never

Shortly after getting married, in fact it was on our honeymoon, when I slipped into my flirty pajamas, jumped into bed next to my husband and exclaimed, “OK, I’m ready!” and he asked, “For what?”

I replied with the obvious response, “To pray together … you know, a couple that prays together, stays together? That is what my mom always says.” To which he replied, “I will NEVER pray with you, that just isn’t something I do. It’s personal and between me and God.”

To be fair, maybe my timing was a little off. But I absolutely deflated. My spirit was crushed. Not only did I feel deprived of the coveted marriage ideal that couples are supposed to pray together, it was worse than that. I felt totally duped by my new husband. After all, we prayed together during our courtship.

I was devastated. Something so clearly beneficial to our marriage was rejected. My parents prayed together! And I was certain I fell in love with someone who was going to pray with me. It didn’t seem right!  I knew God and I knew He loved me. I knew this was the man He meant for me to marry. He moved mountains to bring us together.

I come from a long line of prayer warriors. I like to think my sweet grandma lived to 103 because she had prayers God still wanted her to be praying. Growing up, when situations arose, my parents always told me to “just pray about it.”

The fact my husband and I didn’t pray together other than to bless our meals unsettled me and rocked my faith. I didn’t want anyone to know because I was certain every other Christian couple prayed together. It was like a cardinal rule for a good Christian marriage.

I loved my husband and I wanted to stay together. But I didn’t like the situation. Honestly, the only thing I could do was “just pray about it.” Instead of “Run Forrest, Run!” It became, “Pray Julie, Pray!” Originally, my prayers were that my husband would pray with me because I knew better and you NEVER say never, especially to God.

I truly believed Matthew 21:22.

You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.”

What I received by praying was far different than what I thought I wanted.

Through the process of praying without ceasing, God changed my heart and He changed my prayers. My heart turned from criticizing my husband, to seeking to understand my husband. My prideful prayers of me telling God how my husband needed to change eventually evolved into prayers of loving my husband for who he has been created to be.

Through the years, my prayers became more powerful. My husband witnessed first-hand how God faithfully answers even my smallest requests.

A few seasons back, I went through some personal challenges. I was really struggling, and I needed help. I asked my husband to pray for me and he did, without hesitation. He also prayed for me without my asking, just because he sensed I needed him to pray.

I cherish those moments when he pulled me close and prayed over me the most beautiful, loving prayers. Those times assured me how much God loves me and how my faithfulness and prayers honored Him and the man He gave me.

In the past, my husband and I have had this running joke that the first thing out of my husband’s mouth is “no.” This may have been what plagued him on our honeymoon, but I always say, “never say never” because he is definitely not the same man I am married to now.

He has since challenged himself to say “yes” more often. In fact, he took his “yes” a step further and ordered “promise cards” printed with the words: “because I said I would.” He hands these out at random times to people. This year for my birthday my husband gave me a promise card. It was the best gift a wife like me could ever receive. The words on the card said “I will pray with my wife. Because I said I would.”

Over twelve years ago my prayers stemmed from my own selfish motivation to change my husband, but God used them to change me. My consistent and persistent prayers changed the trajectory of our marriage for the better. I never know how or when God will answer my prayers.

But as my faith has grown, so has my trust in God and “knowing” no longer matters. I only do what I am called, which is to obediently seek Him. Today I teach other women how to pray for their husbands as this has simply become an act of obedience in response to an ever-loving God.

Julie Landreth has a passion for healthy and thriving relationships–especially in marriage and friendship. She is a speaker and a “wife coach” who loves sharing with women her passion for prayer and ways to actively cultivate a thriving marriage.  She leads a growing number of women in San Jose, CA through her curriculum: Consistency and Persistency: The Art of Praying for your Husband. Having been married 12 years, she and her husband have cultivated a marriage filled with intentional love, effective communication, sustainable fun, and a date night every Friday night for the last 9 years. She also finds deliberate ways to spend quality time with her 9-year-old son who shares many of her artistic talents. In addition, she is a freelance photographer and designer. 

If you would like to hear more from Julie and receive 5 Days of Prayers to get you started praying for your husband, please visit her and sign up at

http://eepurl.com/cmn9CX.

Now available! 

In this six-week Bible Study you will, possibly for the first time, truly understand how God wants you to be free. Free from clutter so you can be free to change your world. We have an online version as well as a traditional workbook with DVD option.

Find out more: http://www.kathilipp.com/clutter-free-bible-study/

 

Enlarging Your Faith: Never Say Never

Episode #224- I Want it All with Gwen Smith

 

Saying “I Want it All” sounds so worldly. We usually associate it with the wanting of money, a nice home, a great job, a fantastic husband, and loyal friends… the list goes on.

But what if “ALL” actually is the cry of our hearts to have all that God has made available to us- strength, hope, joy, love and peace? In this inspiring interview with I Want it All author, Gwen Smith, Kathi uncovers the passion behind the book’s title and the promises found in the Bible for exactly that, ALL! Gwen shares the moment she discovered just where God was taking her with the writing of this book as well as the pain of watching her father’s battle with cancer. Discover what ALL can actually look like in your own life.

Weigh in

Finally, we’d love to hear your thoughts on wanting it all. What does “All’ mean in your life and what can you pursue with even more purpose after hearing this episode?

Want more?

This podcast episode reminded us a lot of an episode we did about more than a year ago with called I Want God.

 

 

Episode #224- I Want it All with Gwen Smith

5 Tips for Becoming a Morning Person

I would have never in a million years have thought I would be writing a post about becoming a morning person. Because I never would have thought I would actually be a morning person.

Friends, I like to sleep. I just do, I love my warm bed, and I love my husband who sleeps in it with me. As I struggle with chronic pain and fatigue, sleep is important for my health. I never dreamed it possible for ME to become an early riser.

However, by God’s grace for the last month or so, I’ve officially become a “morning person.” I wake up at 5am every morning (except weekends) to have time for prayer, Bible study and reading. And it grants me little extra time for work before the kids get up.

 

How did I become a morning person?

 

Honestly, I’m not naturally a morning person. At least I wouldn’t describe myself as one. BUT, I am definitely NOT a night owl.

I’ve tried putting off projects with the excuse that I’ll work on them later, after the kids go to sleep, but the reality is that come 9pm I’m tired and my brain is not functioning productively. All I want to do is lie on the couch and watch a show. While I can do some work in the evenings, I have found my most productive hours are the morning hours.

Even though I might feel tired in the morning, once I get going, those early hours are when I come up with my best ideas and when I’m most focused.

So, when I found myself struggling with more projects than I had time for and frustrated that my “quiet time” for prayer and Bible study always felt rushed. I felt like the Lord wanted me to change some things around.

I desperately wanted to be a good steward of my time and my responsibilities, so I started to pray for “extra time” somewhere. As a wife and mom of four, I desperately needed quiet time before heading into my busy daily schedule.

Then a friend shared with me how she had started waking up early. It was such a blessing for her and asked if I would be interested in trying it?

Um, OK, God, thanks I get it. (Sometimes He’s so direct in answering prayers, right?)

It took me a few days to get on board, but I knew early mornings were the answer to my prayer. I was apprehensive at first as I had tried waking up early before but couldn’t do it consistently. Initially I started with a five-day time commitment. I would wake up at 5am for five days and if I didn’t want to continue I’d go back to my usual wake-up time.

I was sold after day two. My time with the Lord was so sweet.

There was no going back.

 

5 tips to becoming a morning person

 

A few tips that helped me develop a consistent early morning routine:

#1 Pray about it: If you’re feeling like your “quiet time” lacks, or you feel rushed during the day and want to rethink your morning routine, bring it to the Lord. There is nothing in my own strength to make me think I was capable of being an early riser. I needed Jesus to make this happen.

Consider the season you’re in. I had tried to be a morning person before, but it wasn’t the right time. In this life season, I don’t have little ones. My youngest kiddo is six. They all sleep through the night and don’t wake until 7am. My days are not as physically exhausting as they were when I had babies and toddlers.

Becoming a morning person may not be feasible during certain seasons of life. Pray about it. If you feel God speak to your heart that early mornings should be a time to spend together then He will be your strength, but if not, feel free to put it off for another season.

#2 Accountability: Find a friend or group of friends to wake up with you (ideally in the same time zone you are in). Accountability is literally what wakes me up in the morning. I’m part of a group of women who checks in by text every morning.

I know I’m accountable to this group, so I want make sure I get up and send my text to encourage my friends. It helps to know I’m not alone in spending early morning time with the Lord. We share our plans and just have a simple check in every morning.

#3 Set yourself up for success: Waking up early can be hard, but there are things you can do to prepare and make your morning routine go a little more smoothly.

Make sure you set your alarm (use a tune to wake you up rather than lull you back to sleep).
Set the timer on your coffee pot so the coffee is ready and waiting when you wake up.
Get a good night’s sleep.
Take care of your health. I personally feel more sluggish and struggle waking up when I’m overdoing it with sugar. Consider what your body needs to feel energized.

#4 Focus on what you get not what you’re giving up: Waking up early is hard. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it. But I’ve found it’s more helpful to focus on what I’m saying yes to. Waking up early for me means saying yes to my time with the Lord, and it’s totally worth it.

#5 Save a seat for Jesus: A friend of mine once shared with me how she asked her mom how she maintained such a consistent quiet time. Her mom confessed she saved a seat for Jesus, where she imagined meeting Him every day. She never wanted to keep Jesus waiting.

I love that and totally borrowed it, now Jesus has a seat at my table where I know He’ll meet me every morning at 5am.

If you are considering becoming an early riser trust that the Lord will honor your sacrifice. Like the loaves and fishes I have watched the Lord take my small offering of the first fruits of my time and multiply it. My days feel more meaningful, and I accomplish so much more by offering Him my time before anyone else. I firmly believe God will honor your sacrifice as well.

Are you considering becoming a morning person? Or are you one already? We’d love to hear any tips you have below in the comments.

Zohary Ross is a life coach, speaker and author of the Aligned Parenting Workbook. Zohary is passionate about encouraging and equipping women to have clearly defined “most importants” and live out their values and priorities. Connect with Zohary at http://zoharyross.com/.

 

5 Tips for Becoming a Morning Person

Episode #223- How to Become a Morning Person

Morning people. Some of us are and some of us are SO not. However, we see the benefits of being “up and at ’em” early in the day to get the most accomplished. Research actually shows that morning people actually get more done. As a night owl, you might want to move on but listen in and gain some tips on how to become a morning person. This isn’t an overnight process so take heart. It’s possible!

Kathi and Erin, one a born night owl and the other an early bird, share their morning routine and the benefits of becoming an early riser. They’ll also share 3 tips you can use right now to get started on creating a morning routine that will get your day started and help you hit the pillow at night feeling like you’ve conquered your to do list!

Episode #223- How to Become a Morning Person

Who Owns Who? The Battle With Possession Obsession

When my students and I read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, one line—spoken by the murderous creature to Victor Frankenstein—always gives me a cold chill:

“Slave … You are my creator, but I am your master; obey!”

Each year, I tell my class, “This is such an apt personification of addiction. What starts as a small habit, seemingly under our control, quickly morphs into a monster that takes complete control of our lives.”

I speak from very painful, very personal experience.

Decades ago, when my clutter collecting craze was in full swing, I exhibited many classic signs of addiction.

Inability to Stop. I made up elaborate budgeting spreadsheets. I put cash in envelopes. But every single time I promised myself, “I’m done buying so much stuff!” I’d see something else and make an exception, “Just this once.”


Withdrawal Symptoms. I cut up and canceled credit cards. Then, as my anxiety level would rise and I couldn’t calm myself by running out for a quick shopping spree, I’d open new accounts.


Social Sacrifices. The more stuff took over our home, the less space there was for people. We quit inviting friends and family over because there was no room for them to stay. Or, eventually, even sit.


Solitude. I never shopped with friends. Going on a buying binge had one purpose: to give me my fix, for which I wanted no witnesses.


Secrecy. I hid my purchases from my husband, and he had no idea how many credit cards “we” had. He was clueless to the extent of my possession obsession.


Supply Maintenance. I stockpiled food, toiletries, gifts for upcoming holidays. I started numerous businesses and ordered tons of inventory. Buying these things gave me a thrill. So did storing and counting it all.


Increasingly High Doses. Just as a drug addict needs larger and larger amounts to experience the “high,” I needed to spend more and more, purchasing bigger and better things, to feel the buying buzz.


Risky Behavior. I “stole from Peter to pay Paul” regularly, paying bills just in the nick of time to avoid being charged late fees, having utilities shut off, defaulting on loans.


Financial Difficulties. Our checking account balance was typically so low, I had to call the bank each day to find out how much (if anything) was available for groceries. We ultimately ended up in bankruptcy court.


Relational Difficulties. When my husband discovered how bad things had gotten, he felt completely betrayed. The bankruptcy process was deeply humiliating for him.

If some of these sound scarily familiar, here are four things I want anyone wrestling with possession obsession to know:
 1 — It’s not your fault. 

Slinging blame and wallowing in guilt serve no constructive purpose. Facing the facts and taking personal responsibility do. And the most responsible thing you can do is ask for help. Starting now.

2 — You’re not alone. 

Shame depends on secrecy; addiction thrives in isolation. When you reach out to those who can help and support you, shame’s power breaks and addiction’s grip loosens. You need accountability, both for individual recovery and for financial recovery.

3 — It’s not too late. 

The enemy of your soul says, “You’re beyond all hope!” It’s a lie.

In Romans 7:19-25, the apostle Paul chronicles this vivid description of addiction: “For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

And reminds you of the hope that is always available to you:

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

4 — Yes, you can. 

You can address the core issues that trigger your spending sprees and clutter collections. For me, it came down to a combination of “buying to become” and “never enough” syndrome. Over time, I retrained my brain to disconnect my identity from my possessions, and to revel in gratitude for what I already have.

You can find healthy ways to settle the everyday ordinary problems that a possession obsession promises—but utterly fails—to solve. I’d turned pretty much any “negative” emotion into an excuse to spend: sadness, anger, loneliness, and boredom all lifted (albeit temporarily) with a bit of “retail therapy.”

It took time to develop new self-soothing strategies. Over several months, I built a list of my Favorite Free Ways to Feel Better Fast (which you can download at the end of this article!)

You can develop safe systems for making necessary purchases. I always take a list when heading to Safeway or Target. My husband and I pre-plan major purchases. Whenever something catches my eye, I have a pre-decided wait time (yes, even if it’s on sale.)

I write it on my wish list and set a calendar reminder for a week away. Nine times out of ten, when the alert pops up, I think to myself, “I was going to spend how much for that?!?”

If you feel trapped in possession obsession right now, please know that I understand.

And please hear the truth: Your stuff doesn’t have to morph into a monster that enslaves you.

You can do the brave work to break free. You can learn to master your spending and storing habits so that your stuff serves you, not the other way around.

Sign up to receive updates from Cheri, and receive her FREE “15 Favorite Free Ways to Feel Better Fast” PDF.

Cheri Gregory is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the Perfect Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed. Her goal is to equip women to relate and create with less drama, more delight. Connect with Cheri on Facebook and at www.CheriGregory.com.

Who Owns Who? The Battle With Possession Obsession

Episode #222-How to Overcome Possession Obsession

Do you have Possession Obsession? Do you collect things? Do you get it into your head you absolutely have to HAVE something?

Kathi and Erin get behind our need to buy things or collect items. Sometimes we are prone to feel like our life is lacking. This lacking may lead us to shop, whether it be walking around our favorite store or shopping online. Erin and Kathi wrestle with the reasons behind their impulse to buy and the rules you can put into place to understand and count the cost of your possession obsession.

Kathi talks with Erin MacPherson about what is behind the “need” to buy or keep possessions. Listen in as they share their strategies for reserving time, money and space for what really matters and ultimately placing value in relationships over stuff.

Episode #222-How to Overcome Possession Obsession