Kathi Lipp's Blog, page 105
August 7, 2014
#111 Holy, Messy and HGTV Our Interview with Jen Hatmaker, Author of Interrupted
She had all of her “Christian” ducks in a row…. until God swept them all to the side. Jen Hatmaker was a Christian speaker and author, married to a PASTOR for heaven’s sake who spent every day of her life doing the church thing and doing it well. But then, Jen prayed a prayer: “God, raise up in me a holy passion.”
And that’s when her whole life got completely messed up.
In this episode of “So Here’s the Thing” Kathi and Erin talk to Jen about her book, “Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity” and discuss how that one simple prayer led her to flip her life upside down… and do everything from serving the poor to letting HGTV invade her home.
Tell us in the comments below how Jen’s experience of being interrupted has inspired you to pray for a holy passion or what is keeping you in your comfortable Christianity. Two winners will be randomly chosen and will receive two copies of Interrupted.
#111 Holy, Messy and HGTV Our Interview with Jen Hatmaker, Author of Interrupted
August 5, 2014
#110 The Cure for the “Perfect” Life
Hi Friends!My newest book, The Cure for the Perfect Life, came from my deepest desire to help the women in this world live fuller, richer lives at exactly where God wants them. This week Cheri Gregory (who co-wrote The Cure for the Perfect Life) and I sat down to discuss the concept of rebelling against the ideas of perfectionism, and procrastination. (don’t worry! People-pleasing and Performancism are coming soon!)
Now this podcast is only for you if you deal with one of the four bullies we talk about:
Perfectionism
Procrastination
People Pleasing
Performancism
You are invited to take part in our rebellion against perfectionism.
Win 2 copies of The Cure for the Perfect Life- just comment below and tell us one small thing you are doing to fight procrastination or perfectionism, and who you are going to ask to be your bravery buddy (she can have the second copy!).
July 29, 2014
#109 Mentoring, Motherhood and Friendships
When it comes to being a mom, have you ever felt like you wish someone would just tell you what to do? (Or at least talk you down after you kid has told you that he wishes Jake’s mom was his real mother?)
My dear friend Stephanie Shott joined us this week to discuss mentoring, a topic that is near and dear to her heart as she lacked a true mentor and community when she was a teenage/single/unsaved mom. She started the Mom Initiative specifically to help women be the mentors other moms need. And guess what, she shares the secrets with us today.
Some of the things we discuss:
Mentoring makes us better women
Great mentoring isn’t difficult!
Why mentoring is so important
REAL friends can be our mentors
When you are in the thick of it, knowing someone is there for you makes all the difference. We shouldn’t do this mothering things alone friends. Take this first step to learn how to find your tribe and your mentors.
July 25, 2014
You are Invited – Time to Join the Rebellion
Are you sick and tired of trying to be perfect?
Are you exhausted trying to please everyone while wondering if they would like you even if you stopped doing for them?
Are you always doing because your success is based on your performance day-to-day (or minute-by-minute)?
Are you the queen of procrastination and it’s become less than pretty?
If you’ve said yes to any of those questions then…
IT IS TIME TO REBEL!
Now before you panic, we aren’t packing our bags to move to another state, leaving our families behind. No, this is a rebellion against the perfection, people-pleasing, performancism and procrastination. It is a call to stop trying harder and start
Living Braver.
Join the rebellion on Facebook on like the page Tiny Acts of Rebellion.
July 22, 2014
#108 Following God isn’t Always Pretty- with Michele Cushatt
My friend and speaker, Michele Cushatt hasn’t had the prettiest life. It has been down right hard and the things God have called her to haven’t always been pretty. Michele has handled the not so pretty with such grace that I wanted her to speak about her experiences because no matter how ugly, she always inspires me. I think she’ll inspire you too.
In this episode of So Here’s the Thing, we discuss how following God isn’t always easy. We deal with some of the tough questions like:
Should I be a working mom or stay-at-home mom?
If God has called me to this, shouldn’t it be easy?
Why do some decisions have only comprises for answers?
How can I even think of reinventing my life with all of the responsibilities I already have?
How can/do I say NO to the wrong things so I can say YES to the right things?
After listening, tell me how you have reinvented a part of your life whether it be your work, the way you juggle the needs of your family, your ministry or the relationships with your extended family. Two people will win pack of books from me- The Cure for the Perfect Life (being released in August!) and Praying God’s Word for Your Life.
#108 Following God isn’t Always Pretty- with Michele Cushatt
July 21, 2014
Bad Mom Monday- Braver Parenting: Doing vs. Being
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)
My son Christian loves basketball and played varsity all four years of high school. Throughout each season, he was respected for his ability to lead the team, for his calmness on the floor, and for his quick thinking.
Although Christian was an incredible player, he is not aggressive by nature. So he was never known for strength and drive. These weak areas cost him playing time and made him feel like he was failing his coach.
I always told Christian, “You played your best; be proud of that.” To me, bravery was showing up to each practice and each game, even when he felt like quitting.
THE Best vs. Your Best
As a parent of an athlete, I wanted my child to succeed. I was partial to my own kid; that’s just natural. It was hard to resist all the hype of athletics. As a single mom working two jobs, I struggled to keep up with all the “parent” clubs around sports and volunteering. I too, had to work at being my best, rather than run for “BEST mom of the year award.” I wanted to stay on the good side of all the other parents by being involved in all the fundraisers and every single volunteer event.
But even as an adult, I had to remind myself, to BE my best and feel proud of that. I could not be at all events. As tempting as it was to just over-commit, I would have driven not only myself crazy but my entire family, all for the sake of somehow making a difference for my son. But no amount of my DOING was going to change his playing time one bit.
My son knew with all his heart two things: First, he knew that I was his biggest fan. Second, he knew that I was working as hard as he was toward success. My best was good enough, even when that meant missing a game because I was working or saying no to that new pair of shoes everyone else had because I did not have the income to pay the price.
It was okay to BE where we were because it was our best on that given day. I had to be brave when he was upset that he could not have what he wanted. I had to step over those feelings of inadequacy and know it was okay to just BE where I was.
BEING vs. DOING
On those occasions when I failed at BEING and fell into DOING, I found myself complaining, resentful, and tired. DOING is important; we all need to do our part in supporting the programs our kids benefit from. But we must keep our motivation for DOING in check. When I needed to say “no” but said “yes” because I didn’t want to disappoint people, I was DOING. When I said “yes” because I honestly knew the person needed help, and I was able to meet the call, I was BEING: helpful, freely giving.
So give yourself grace – as a parent, athlete, or wherever life finds you – to be satisfied with your best. BE engaged in what you are doing and know that your best is good enough to the One who counts the most, your Heavenly Father. While DOING can produce resentment if done for the wrong reasons, BEING produces gratitude.
Today, don’t worry about DOING the best or even better than anyone else. Focus on BEING your best.
Today, don't worry about DOING the best or even better than anyone else. Focus on BEING your best.
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Your Turn!
How comfortable are you with the idea of BEING your best rather than trying to DO the best? How are (or aren’t) you modeling this for your child(ren)?
My bad mom friend and author of today’s Bad Mom Monday challenge is Tanja Bass. Tanja lives, works, and parents in Oregon where she has spent all but three years of her life. She has three children — who now must be referred to as “young people” — ages 15,18, and 22. Tanja enjoys speaking, writing and encouraging others. She could tell you that her journey of life has been one of foster care, adoption & divorce, but she’d far rather tell you how God is changing her story with His redeeming grace!
July 15, 2014
#107 When Life Throws You a Curve Ball
“You don’t get a pass on your faith because of a curve ball.” OUCH! Would your best friend be willing say the same to you if you needed to hear it?
My co-host this week is Gillian Marchenko, author of Sun Shine Down: A Memoir. Gillian’s life as a mom, wife of a pastor and missionary in Romania was completely rocked when their third child was born with down-syndrome. In this experience, Gillian learned what deep faith, true friendship and real appreciation for life was all about.
Through our discussion, Gillian shares how:
it’s possible to feel two opposing emotions at the exact same time
it’s ok to dislike the diagnosis and still love
to react when your friend goes through a hard time
Join us for an inspiring discussion about how dealing with the curve ball isn’t always pretty but absolutely survivable.
What is the event in your life that you weren’t sure you would ever see the “sun shine again”? Share it with us for a chance to win a copy of Gillian’s memoir.
July 14, 2014
Bad Mom Monday: Why We Let Our Daughter Touch the Electric Skillet (and other shocking parental choices)
When Annemarie was little, she had no interest in her Playskool kitchen with plastic food. She wanted to help us do the real thing: fix our real breakfast in our real kitchen.
We’d set up the step ladder, and she’d climb up and happily measure ingredients and mix pancake batter.
It was a great arrangement. She was fully engaged in meal preparation, and we felt like such great parents, teaching our little girl life skills at an early age!
Then Annemarie became fascinated by the electric skillet.
We warned her that it was “HOT!” That only peeked her curiosity.
We moved it as far out of reach as possible, but if we turned away for a split second, she’d start to climb the counter, one hand outstretched toward the skillet.
We tried everything we could think of to distract her, forbid her, instill a sense of respect in her.
Nothing worked.
Annemarie’s obsession became an all-out determination to touch the electric skillet.
After many near-misses, we came to the unthinkable conclusion:
Our little girl was going to experience the natural consequences of her curiosity.
The only question was when.
Daniel and I discussed, prayed, and ultimately made one of the hardest choices we’ve ever made as parents: we decided to let her touch it when we were present.
The next morning, we wiped the skillet clean of oil and turned it to the lowest setting. Daniel stood on one side of the ladder; I stood on the other. At a pre-arranged signal, we both acted distracted.
Sure enough, Annemarie’s tiny hands shot toward the electric skillet. Eagerly, she grabbed its sides.
Her triumphant face registered shock quickly followed by pain. She stumbled and, as Daniel caught her, began to cry.
“Hot!” she wailed, pointing to the skillet with reddening fingers. “Hot!”
I dabbed soothing medication on Annemarie’s hands, and we took turns holding and rocking her until she calmed down. After tucking her in bed for a nap, Daniel and I let down our stoic guards and held each other as we cried.
After that experience, whenever we told her that something was “hot” she repeated “hot!” in a voice of respect and gave it wide berth. And her budding fascination with electric outlets completely vanished.
Letting Annemarie touch the electric skillet worked. But two decades later, I still tear up as I tell this story.
I still feel torn between my desire to protect my child from harm and my responsibility to teach her about consequences. I still feel torn between my desire to protect my child from harm and my responsibility to teach...
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I also better understand God’s heart toward me: always wanting to protect me but also letting me experience the consequences of my disobedience:
“So, what a blessing when God steps in and corrects you!
Mind you, don’t despise the discipline of Almighty God!
True, he wounds, but he also dresses the wound;
the same hand that hurts you, heals you.”
Job 5:17-18
Your Turn!
What’s a necessary “shocking” parental choice you’ve made or experienced? What was the motivation behind the choice? What were the results?
My bad mom friend and author of today’s Bad Mom Monday challenge is Cheri Gregory. Cheri has been married to her college sweetheart for over a quarter-of-a-century and has two college-aged kids; she blogs about expectations, “baditude,” and hope at www.CheriGregory.com.
July 8, 2014
#106 Overwhelmed & Over Committed Moms Should Become a Thing of the Past
It’s easy to get bogged down with commitments- us moms have a knack for it! But then we start feeling exhausted, over committed and frustrated that our parenting, our physical, emotional and spiritual lives aren’t exactly what we had in mind. Join host Kathi Lipp as she welcomes guest Kasey Johnson, author of a new book and bible study specifically for moms called Mom Essentials. They discuss:
the differences between essentials and extras
how to best identify what each are in your life
and why getting back to the “essentials” can be key to an overall healthy mama.
“It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being smarter.” Kasey Johnson 
#106 Overwhelmed & Over Committed Moms Should Become a Thing of the Past
July 7, 2014
Bad Mom Monday: Mom Essentials
So we had my son’s birthday party last week on June 30th. The date is only significant because as I was texting people about the party one mom sent a message back with the following question: “Didn’t he turn 7 back in December?”.
Yes, yes he did. (That was for all you Phineas and Ferb fans out there)
I guess I’m “that” mom. The one who had a TERRIBLE year at work. The one who barely had energy to do laundry and cook, much less plan a party.
The one who loves her children more than her job but found her job taking too much of her time, energy and thoughts.
It’s one of those things that I NEVER thought would happen to me, but it did.
It sounds silly to become so upset about being late with a party but it matters to me – or should I say, to my expectations! I’ve always been the mom who plans parties everyone enjoys and (being honest here) raves about! It’s my little “rocked it baby!” moment and I love seeing my kids have such a good time.
Not giving my son a birthday party with his friends brought a weight of guilt and disappointment that was new and very uncomfortable for me, I felt like such a bad mom!
In order to deal with this awful feeling I decided to just stop and remember what matters most.
I decided my son would not be scarred for life and I was NOT a terrible mom. Instead, I was a mom who was human and just trying my best. I stayed focused on the essentials – what I needed to really make it through.
First I had to be HONEST. I had dropped the ball and for that I apologized to my son. I also explained the situation to him and his response was so sweet and understanding. I think it’s okay for my boys to see me goof and claim responsibility while also promising to make things right!
Next I needed the essential of PERSEPCTIVE. Failing to give him a party felt like a BIG deal but when I stepped back and looked at the big picture I realized that I hadn’t totally failed him. I’d been working hard to make sure I was home to tuck him into bed and able to be at all his games and most importantly, turn off my “work brain” and truly listen to him.
When my perspective is focused on the big picture and I’m able to be honest with myself and accept my blunders I think I become a better woman and a better mom. On those “bad mom” days, I have an opportunity to allow God to come in and fill in the missing pieces of my identity with HIS truth. I want to live my life focused on the essentials and not the extras – I want people to come first, not projects and parties.
Keeping this balance is tough, but it’s so worth the effort. And by the way, my little December baby was able to have a pool party. Complete with leis, sunshine and lots of laughter.
Kasey Johnson is learning daily how to ignore the extras in life and focus on the essentials. As an educator, author, speaker, blogger, wife and mother, Kasey understands the balancing act we sustain as mothers. Her new book and Bible study, Mom Essentials is all about this challenge that every mom is facing.
Visit her blog, www.smarter-moms.com, to learn more about Mom Essentials.
