Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 50

Total Peace

It’s a new beginning for my friend Becky. A number of years ago, a MRI reveled a parasagittal meningioma. The risk of cancer was low and the decision was made to carefully watch the progression of the brain tumor, rather than remove it.

This past year, the tumor began to grow. Becky and her husband, Doyle, investigated options and met with doctors. The recommendation was surgery. The tumor had to come out.

Two days before the scheduled surgery, a prayer service was held in the chapel at church. Friends and family brought scripture to read during the service, calming heart and mind. Not once during the service did my sweet friend shed a tear. Becky was completely trusting in God’s plan for her life and especially in light of the impending surgery. No matter the outcome, she was at peace.

The surgery went well, extremely well. The benign tumor was encapsulated, a “golf ball” as opposed to an “octopus” with tentacles reaching into brain tissue. This made the tumor somewhat easier to remove. A blessing. Becky was home to recuperate four days after the surgery.

Three weeks later she attended our women’s Bible study, her first outing not counting medical appointments. Another blessing. She was showered with love. As she recounted her surgery, I was stuck with her testimony. Not once did she experience butterflies. A peace filled her that was beyond understanding. She was relaxed, fully awake, and cognizant of her surroundings as she was wheeled into the OR. Becky described the surgical suite, complete with a MRI to check that the tumor had been completely removed.

After the surgery, light and sound were bothersome. As a result she rested under a blanket, attempting to block out all stimuli. Instead of complaining of boredom and discomfort Becky savored this quiet time to spend worshiping her Savior, counting her blessings, and giving God the glory for her successful surgery. She was and remains fully aware of the fact that things could have been very different.

Becky’s healing has been incredible. The facial bruising has disappeared. Her vision is fully restored. I continue to pray for my friend’s full recovery. It will take time but she has the Great Physician seeing to every detail. It’s a new beginning… no tumor, increased faith, and a testimony to share.

LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.

Psalm 30:2

How have you or someone you love experienced God’s healing touch?

Note on the photo: During occupational therapy, Becky made a Scandinavian ribbon ornament for me. I was so humbled to receive such a thoughtful gift. It sits in a place of honor in my family room.

Who Takes Care of the Caregiver?

Care-giving can be and often is a full-time job. While there is often great satisfaction caring for a loved one, some negative outcomes can put the caregiver at great risk as well. Like the tension on a piece of elastic, we can handle a lot of tension and frustration for a long time; but at some point something has to give. By the time we figure out that God has presented us with a challenge that will last a lifetime, the care­giver is already well into a routine that others think is going pretty smoothly. I say “going smoothly” because a caregiver eventually develops a routine – one that is usually very exhausting, but works. Others think it’s easy, because the caregiver is “just doing what needs to be done” and doesn’t have time to ponder how tired or even frustrated they are. A Walgreen’s ad put it best: “If only caregivers had caregivers.” Yes, the caregiv­ers—supportive, sensitive, caring, available, loving, and tired.

Stress involves feeling responsible for what we cannot control or putting pres­sure or strain on something. Stress can be good, for example, like going off to college or planning a wedding – activities that excited us – but stress can also be bad as when dealing with difficult in-laws, money problems, divorce, or trying to accomplish too much in a day. Some­times we get rolling, and we don’t even notice when what we are doing becomes too much or when the good stress turns bad, much like driving the highway without realizing we’ve gone from 60 to 80 mph when all of a sudden we see the police car on the side of the road! What we are doing works for us and might even feel comfortable, but at some point we will run out of gas – and we’re “stopped”!

What might stop us, for example, is a marital relationship falling apart at the seams or our kids showing signs of rebellion because we aren’t taking care of the relationships properly. What has stopped me from time to time is my back “going out” or the time I lost huge clumps of hair, leaving a bald spot the size of a tennis ball on the side of my head. In our minds we may think we’ve got it under control, but our bodies may start falling apart, unable to take the pressure we’re putting on them—emotionally or physically. Sometimes we put the stress on ourselves, and sometimes others try to put it on us.

Of the 60 or so ideas shared in Unexpected Journey-When Special Needs Change our Course, here are a few ways for caregivers to begin to care for themselves:

· Establishing boundaries with people

· Bud­get “buffer” time into the day – allowing time for unexpected delays, planned pressure, emergencies and “life”

· Listen to slow, soothing music rather than fast or loud music

· Pray

· Get exercise

· Laugh! Laugh hard!

· Cry – Cry hard!

· Enjoy a movie – even if it has to be one you rent when you can’t get out

· Play a game

· Say yes to help

· Seek support from support groups or others in a similar situation

Allow others to help, but don’t wait for others to see that you have a need. When you sense you need a break, find ways in your situation that will allow for it – be creative, look for ways to get refreshed, because if we don’t take good care of ourselves, we can’t take good care of our loved one who needs us!

Who Will You Be When You’re 30?

How do you feel about the adults in your life? I bet there are some you think are amazing and some you think are jerk-faces.

Do you realize you can decide what kind of adult you’re going to be? I’m not talking about whether you’ll be rich and famous. I mean what kind of character you’ll have.

When I was your age I decided I wanted to be a person who loved God and who made a difference in the world. I wanted to marry a Christian man and serve God alongside him with all my heart. And guess what –all those things have come true, because I’ve been working toward them for a lot of years.

Do you want to be…

· Joyful or unhappy?

· Trustworthy or flaky?

· Loving God or ignoring Him?

· Making a positive difference in the world or living for yourself?

· Kind or crabby?

· Hardworking or lazy?

I would encourage you to make yourself some hot chocolate and go sit in a cozy corner of your house with a notebook and pen. On the top of the paper, write “When I’m 30 I hope to be…” -then make a long list of what kind of person you plan to be. You should pray, too, and ask God what kind of person He wants you to become.

You know what would be cool? Ask each of your parents to make a list of who they would like you to be by the time you’re 30. Wouldn’t that be interesting?

Once you’ve made your list, then circle one of those character traits and decide what you need to do differently this year to make that come true.

Leave me a comment here –I’d love to know what you’re going to work on!

1 Corinthians 13 Parenting

Have you ever noticed when God sets an opportunity in front of you to do something for him, he provides the support and encouragement necessary to accomplish the task? Take Moses for example. When he encountered the burning bush and God’s call for him to lead the Israelites from bondage in Egypt, the Lord sent Aaron, Moses’ brother, to help him (Exodus 4:14-16, 27-28).

Lori Wildenberg and I have experienced God’s provision in the ministry we co-founded, 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting. The Lord has provided four fellow believers, experts in their fields, to walk with us to encourage and equip families. Let me tell you a bit about these amazing team members.

Laura Crosby is a wife and mother of two grown daughters. She’s a pastor, mentor, and blogger. Her insight into the Word of God and how the Bible applies to life is thoughtful and uplifting. Reading how the Lord moves in her life is incredible.

The Associate Director of 10 Great Dates, Heather Larson, is a wife and mother of three children. She and her husband, Peter, are the hosts of the DVD 10 Great Dates Before You Say “I Do” and coauthors of Great Dates to Grow Together Spiritually. Her blog posts on relationships encourages couples to walk in faith-filled marriages.

Megan Stone, president and founder of Stone Foundations of Learning, Inc., is our education blogger. Her mission is to build confidence in students through organizational skills, work improvement strategies, self-advocacy, and responsibility. Her posts are helpful for students of all ages and their parents.

Finally, the founder of Family Time Training and author of eight books, Kirk Weaver, encourages families to teach Christian principles and values in the home. He has been working with families since 1994, training a new generation of parents to intentionally walk in faith.

Lori and I are blessed to have the opportunity to collaborate with this amazing group of individuals. Each encourages moms and dads on the parenting journey. You can meet the 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team at www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com.

This is truly a season of new beginnings…new ministry name, a parenting team, a list of blessings from the One who always supports, encourages, and abundantly provides.

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father,

who loved us and by his grace gave us

eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts

and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

Thessalonians 2:16-17

Who has walked with you and encouraged you in a new endeavor?

Meet the Pearl Girls: Christy Fitzwater

[image error]Christy Fitzwater is a writer and pastor’s wife in Kalispell, Montana.  She is also the mother of a daughter in college and a son in high school.  You can visit her personal blog at christyfitzwater.com

How did you become a writer?

I’ve enjoyed writing adult Bible studies and curriculum for kids for years, but I started creative writing in October 2011 when my daughter said, “Mom, you should write a blog. If you did, I would read it.” And so it began.

What is your life verse? 

The verse I grab onto is part of John 15:5. “If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit…” I’ve been saying asking God, “Umm, how much fruit?” I pray my life will bear a ridiculous amount of fruit for the kingdom of God.

What motivates you to write for charity?

This question is ironic. When I first was entertaining the thought of writing professionally, my friend, Tricia Goyer (creator of Not Quite Amish), sent me an email asking if I would contribute a few sentences about parenting for a book she was writing. My gut reaction was to be indignant and think, “No way –I’m writing for myself now.” God spoke to me that day and said, “I want you to be a servant with your words. Give them away as often and as fast as you can, and trust me with your own writing career.” So I made the sacrifice that day to give my words to Tricia, and it was a wise choice.

What is your favorite food?

Pizza on crust so thin my husband says, “That looks like pepperoni on a cracker.”

If you were stuck on a deserted island what 5 items would you take?

Bible

Coffee (I confess my sinful heart stopped to think whether Bible or coffee would rank #1.)

Writing supplies

A stash of Twin Bings, my favorite candy bar. (It’s fine that you’ve never heard of them, because I wouldn’t share them with you anyway.)

Grandma’s flannel quilt. (I know it’s a desert island, but I’m from Montana and can’t imagine life without this quilt.)

Being Purposeful

It’s a new year which always calls for an evaluation of the year before. It seems to reason that the beginning of a new year is a good starting point to make some changes, implement some New Year’s resolutions or tweak some things that you are doing right. Either way it is important to do something, to set some goals, and to be purposeful in serving the Lord. After evaluating my previous year, I have identified places in which I can improve in honoring the Lord in my daily life. I’m sure you can relate and apply; and as an older woman, I want to encourage the younger.

I want to be a blessing to my husband. I have found after 29 years of marriage that all husbands need encouragement, respect and to be served. And even today, I can still improve in this area. Encouragement goes a long way by believing in them and building them up with our words. Words are powerful. Respect is using our actions or conduct to show him he has worth. When a husband is valued by his wife, he thinks he can do anything, and he will try to do anything. Then there is serving. Serving is the hardest for me because it takes effort. Sometimes I’m honestly too tired or just plain lazy to be purposeful in this area. Who really wants to pick up dirty socks from a grown-up? But thumbs-up to the fact that there is NO PERFECT HUSBAND! Remember that. It is in a husband’s imperfections that I can be used. If he were perfect, he wouldn’t need me. And so lots of opportunity to serve. I don’t want to miss out on that blessing.

I want to feel healthy. That’s a discipline we all tend to skimp on. I need to be purposeful in long term lifestyle eating and exercising. I hate to exercise, and I know what it’s like to be 30 lbs. overweight and have to plunge through the frumpiness and the discouragement of “I’ll never lose this.” But with discipline and a precious sister who prodded me through the process. I did it. And it’s important!!! This year I want to drink more water, eat more veganish, and eat less sugar. If I am not healthy, it is harder for me to serve the Lord effectively because I will not have the energy to serve, or I will just feel sick. I know unhealthy eating eventually leads to sickness and spending money on meds that can be avoided. I’ve seen it over and over. Food can be my idol. And idols are not honoring to the Lord…. And I have lots of room for improvement.

I want to be more disciplined spiritually. Generally, this resolution gets put on the back burner when life tends to get busy. Am I the only one? But I MUST MAKE TIME. I want to be more specific in praying for my husband, my children and grandchildren, and my church. I want to be purposeful in memorizing chunks of scripture and meditating on them-daily. I want to be wise. I want to have a heart of gratitude and of joy. I want to live in HIS presence every moment. And it won’t happen on its own. I HAVE to be purposeful.

I know there are a lot more things that I can improve on in my life, but these three tend to be where my heart’s focus is for this coming year. So let me also encourage you younger women. Blessing your husband, being healthy, and being spiritually disciplined will all honor the Lord and will truly draw you closer to Him.

What goals have you made this year? I’d love to hear about them! 

12 Pearls of Christmas Winners!

From all of us at Pearl Girls™, welcome to 2013! We hope you enjoyed the Christmas “Pearls of Wisdom” blog series. (If you missed any of the 12 Pearls click here to read the entire series). And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for …

The winners from this year’s 12 Pearls of Christmas:

The Pearl Necklace — Teresa Richardson

Married Mom, Solo Parent by Carla Anne Coroy — Teresa Moore

A Montana Gift Basket from Christy Fitzwater — Lisa Homes Garrett

An Autographed copy of Courting Cate by Leslie Gould — Apple Blossom

2 Copies of Mother of Pearl — Kay Martinez and Vicki Mossman

A Light in the Window by Julie Lessman (ebook) — Amy Stults

Michael W. Smith — Glory — Carol Davis

Andy Cherry — Nothing Left to Fear — Rosemarie Dalley

Rhett Walker Band — Come to the River — Denise Trimble Collins

Matt Wertz — Snow Globe — Paul Tran

Please email ckrumm@litfusegroup.com with your mailing address and she’ll get that right out to you!

Be sure to join us in May for our Mother of Pearl blogging series! You’ll be able to post great blog posts on your blog as well as sign up for some wonderful prizes!

Thank you again for entering the contest and to all the authors who tithed their talents! All God’s best to you 2012!

Have You Learned How to Cook?

When I got married at the age of 22, I thought I was an awesome cook. Then, after two days of marriage, I had made every recipe I knew.

On the third day of marriage, I sat in the kitchen crying. I thought, “Okay, I’m probably going to be married 50 years or so –times 365 days of cooking each year –and I only know two recipes!”

I was in a panic.

So I pulled out a cookbook I had received as a wedding gift and started experimenting. My poor husband. So many nights I would put an experimental dinner on the table in our tiny apartment. We would take one bite and try to swallow it without gagging. Then we would put our silverware down and decide what fast food we would go get that night.

I decided I did not want my daughter to have that same experience, so on her 12th birthday I gave her a three-ring binder filled with 30 empty plastic sleeves. I told her my pathetic cooking story and challenged her to fill her binder with a month’s worth of recipes by the time she graduated from high school.

These were the rules for recipes going into her binder:

• She had to pick the recipe.

• She had to make it completely by herself.

• She had to think it was delicious and wholesome.

In Solomon’s description of a good wife, he says, “She provides food for her family.” (Proverbs 31:15 NIV)

By the time you graduate from high school, will you be prepared to cook for yourself and for your future family? I encourage you to go buy a three-ring binder, and decorate the front of it really cool –make it your own! Put 30 plastic sleeves in it, and every once in a while ask if you can try making a new recipe for the family. If the meal is yummy and a keeper, then type it up and put it in your binder. If it’s gross, then toss that recipe and try a different one sometime. (I’ve thrown away a lot of gross recipes over the years, so don’t feel bad if you don’t like it!)

If you don’t know how to cook, a great place to go for recipes online is to Pioneer Woman. She makes yummy food, and she gives excellent directions with pictures of what to do at each step.

Here’s one of my favorite recipes to get you started:

Quesadillas

• On one side of a flour tortilla spread a spoonful of Tostito’s Salsa Con Queso dip.

• Pour a can of black beans into a bowl and heat them, then drain the liquid. Spread a spoonful of beans on top of the queso.

• Buy a rotisserie chicken from the deli at the grocery store. Pull the meat off the bones, and cut the meat up really small. Sprinkle a handful of the chicken onto the beans and queso.

• Now sprinkle some cheddar cheese on top of that.

• Fold the tortilla over these ingredients, and put the quesadilla into a really hot, dry skillet on the stove top. Let it heat until it looks toasty brown underneath, then flip it over to brown the other side.

• Serve the quesadillas with homemade guacamole and sour cream.

• How to make guacamole: Smoosh up a few avocados in a bowl with a fork. Add a little salsa for flavor.

Think how much your future family is going to love eating your yummy food!

Give it Your Best Pot

I’ve always been a disappointment to my mother, one of the top ten cooks in the northern hemisphere. But never more so than last Christmas, when my culinary fiasco was second only to the time my sister accidentally grabbed the bottle of green food coloring while mixing together the sweet potato casserole when she thought she was liberally adding vanilla.

The holiday table looked like a Dr. Seuss yarn about green yams and ham.

Now I boldly recognize the truth of Romans 12:6 (NLT): “God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well.” I also recognize that for me, culinary prowess isn’t it. Therefore, I usually compensate by frequenting the local deli. But sometimes during the holiday season, I get wrapped up in the spirit of giving and want desperately to show my love for my precious peeps by producing something gustatorily delightful with my very own hands.

I should stick to slice and bake.

My yuletide disaster started when I came up with the idea of cooking a pot of homemade chili in the slow cooker while we were at church on Christmas Eve. How hard could that be? I have a no-fail chili recipe – what could go wrong?

With ten extended family members in tow, it seemed like a great idea – we could enjoy the worship service unhindered by hurry, worry, or stress, and then come home to the wafting fragrant aroma of a delicious dinner all ready for the munching.

So I dressed for church early and while everyone else was getting ready, I prepared the chili, making sure to double the batch and fill my jumbo-sized Crock Pot to the brim.

But something didn’t look right. The soup looked too, well, soupy. Who likes runny chili? It’s supposed to have rich bountiful body. It should be thick enough to stick to your ribs and give your tongue a workout licking it off the spoon. Something must have gone awry when I doubled the recipe.

So I did what any kitchen weekend warrior worth her chain mail would do … I added corn starch. One heaping tablespoon. Two. Aw, heck – three for good measure. Then I stirred it in, plopped the lid back on the simmering pot, and scurried out to the car cheerfully singing, “Tis the season to be jolly …”

When we arrived back home, the house indeed smelled heavenly. In high spirits and with taste buds tingling (I’m pretty sure I saw dribbles of saliva exiting the corner of a mouth or two), everyone grabbed a bowl and eagerly lined up at the chili pot. Brandishing my trusty red ladle (perfect for Christmas chili because of its festive color that doesn’t show tomato stains), I removed the Crock Pot lid and reached in to scoop out the first sumptuous serving.

But what was this? My ladle bounced back off the surface of the chili like a rubber ball on a concrete floor.

With 5-alarm dismay, I discovered that my chili had congealed into a solid block. To actually eat any, you’d have to chisel off a chunk with an ice pick.

Heavy sigh.

I try so hard to give good things to my family each Christmas … warm sweaters, cool toys, loving hugs, a (store-bought) birthday cake for Jesus complete with candles to remember what the season’s all about, even wonderful homemade food that I have high hopes will become a cherished holiday tradition.

But I have a feeling it won’t be chili. My mother has already made Cracker Barrel reservations for next year.

The Smile Business

Christmas Eve was not a typical day at my house as a child. Festive? Yes. Busy? Definitely. Purposeful? Absolutely.

The day began early with preparations for the annual Christmas Eve deliveries. Sturdy paper plates were piled high with delicious cookies. Jars of homemade pickled herring were decorated with bows. My dad’s smoked chickens were labeled with heating instructions. My mom’s freshly baked Swedish coffeecake was wrapped tightly. All of the gifts were loaded into the back of my family’s red Suburban, appropriately nicknamed, Rudolph. We would be off, singing “Jingle Bells” and laughing all the way.

Mom was the navigator with The List in hand, directing Dad to the next drop-off location. Through his family dental practice, my dad knew of many older patients without children and shut-ins that would be celebrating alone. We would make 25-30 stops on Christmas Eve to brighten the spirits of these lonely, lovely people. Dad would often dress as Santa Claus with the three of us kids as his elves. The recipients of our Christmas treats were never fooled by his costume. They’d come to the door with smiles and hugs for each of us. Many times the visits were punctuated with tears, joyful tears, because they were not forgotten on this holy day.

I remember the year I realized the impact of my parent’s choice to serve others on Christmas Eve. Rather than hanging our stockings with care knowing they would be filled with trinkets and treasures, we served others quietly sharing the real Reason for the Season. We were the hands and feet of Jesus, purposely giving rather than focusing on what we’d be receiving.

And we were blessed! Around my grandparent’s dinner table, we’d enjoy a delicious meal and tell about our day. The man with the cute dog who was so glad to see us, the woman who was waiting, watching out her front window hoping we’d remember her as in years past. The couple whose children lived far away couldn’t be with them, standing on their front steps in the cold and crying, hugging, and thanking my parents for being light in the darkness.

As an adult, I’m so grateful my parents took the time to make Christmas about giving, not receiving. I have such fond memories of our family Christmas Eve “sleigh ride” to deliver smiles to those who were lonely. My parents really were in the smile business! When we make others smile, God smiles too.

Light in a messenger’s eyes brings joy to the heart…

Proverbs 15:30a

How do you reach out to those who are lonely at Christmastime, sharing the Light?