Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 35
May 7, 2013
MIZPAH BY MARGARET MCSWEENEY
Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series—a nine-day celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of today’s best writers (Tricia Goyer, Lisa Takeuchi Cullen, Beth Vogt, Lesli Westfall, and more). I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on Mother’s Day.
AND . . . do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful handcrafted pearl necklace and a JOYN India bag. Enter at the bottom of this post. The contest runs 5/4-5/13, and the winner will be announced on 5/14. Contest is only open to U.S. residents.
If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info, subscribe to our blog, and see what we’re all about. In short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Mother of Pearl: Luminous Lessons and Iridescent Faith to help support Pearl Girls™.
And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!
~
Mizpah by Margaret McSweeney
On April 14, our family’s precious Pongo passed away. This beloved Chihuahua was with our family for nearly fourteen years. He played with my daughters during their childhood and comforted them during the challenges of adolescence. He rested by my side during breast cancer treatment and worked alongside Dave in his home office.
Yes, Pongo was always a source of surprises. Before he was one, he somehow swallowed a brownie patch attached to a string of beads and a safety pin. That was his first stomach surgery. Then, the following year he bit off the sharp edge of Mr. Potato Head’s ear. That was the second stomach surgery. Throughout the fourteen years, we were in and out of the ER for dogs. He ate a bag of cough drops in the pantry. He jumped on the table and ate the kids’ chewable vitamins. And the list goes on. . . .
House guests would always have to place their purses on a table without chairs. Otherwise, Pongo would rummage through the bags in search of his addiction: chewing gum! But above all, Pongo’s greatest gift and lesson to us was unconditional love. Yes, Pongo brought such joy to the family for so many years. No one could believe that he actually smiled! He knew how loved he was. I think that is why he outlived his life expectancy by three years after being diagnosed with a heart condition. It was his kidneys and stomach cancer that ultimately claimed his precious life. He passed away peacefully in his sleep at home.
The day after Pongo died, I read a beautiful Bible verse: Genesis 31:49
And Mizpah; for he said, The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another.
Isn’t that beautiful! Mizpah signifies an emotional bond between people who are separated by death or circumstance.
Perhaps, instead we can say:“Mizpaw” to express this same emotional bond between people and their precious pets.
Pongo, I love you and miss you so very much. Thank you for being a blessing in our home. You have left a “fur-ever” heartprint in our lives. Mizpaw!
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Margaret lives with her husband and two daughters in a Chicago suburb. She is the author of Aftermath: Growing in Grace Through Grief, Mother of Pearl, Pearl Girls, A Mother’s Heart Knows and the co-author of Go Back and Be Happy. She is the founder and collaborator of Pearl Girls. All the proceeds of books sales from Mother of Pearl (2012) and Pearl Girls (2009) to go support the work of two charities, WINGS AND HANDS OF HOPE. Margaret would love to meet you too. Follow her on twitter (@McSweeney) or friend her on facebook. You can also keep up with Margaret at Kitchen Chat, her weekly radio show.Visit her website.
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Tipped Back And Texting?
I sat at the table with my Bible open in front of me. Five other teenagers sat around the same table.
It was a small church in Wyoming, and this was our entire youth group. The teacher was a kind and devoted (if rather frumpy) country woman. She had one eye that wandered a bit, which left me wondering if I should look at the steady eye or the one that was looking another direction. She wasn’t the world’s most interesting teacher, but she was faithful and kind.
I remember the other students and how they sat. Slumped over, bored. Tipped back in the chair, daydreaming. Whispering to each other, uninterested.
And then there was me. Bent over my Bible, hungry to know God and learn truth. I was the weird one because I actually cared.
When the other teens left, they left it all behind them, but I took those Sunday School lessons home with me. I kept thinking about them and wanted to do what I learned. The word of God settled down on my heart, like a thick quilt comes down heavy and warm on a cold day. I wanted to live this stuff I was learning.
Everyone is a certain kind of learner –either disinterested or engaged.
Which kind are you?
It will show in your body. If you could care less about God and the Bible, people will be able to tell by looking at you. Texting or whispering to a friend or staring into space when people are talking to you about God, those are sure signs that you are disinterested.
If you’re leaning forward, focusing on the teacher, and asking questions, those are signs you really care about the things of God.
My husband’s a preacher, so when we’re all facing him, he’s facing us. He notices the people who are leaning way back in their chairs all sloppy like and the ones whose heads are dipping in peaceful slumber. If he can tell who is engaged in learning, we can be sure God can, too.
So what kind of learner are you?
May 6, 2013
8 Great Mom Traits
Someday… when you are a grandma, you’ll be just like Nana.” My oldest child has great confidence in me. Me…not so much.
My mom has raised the bar pretty high. When my two youngest were born she took a month out of her life, each time, to help Tom and me out with the older kids. She left her life(and my dad) in Minnesota to help care for all of us in California.
She gives generously of her time.
Every summer she opens up her lake cabin to the family, we all come (my family, my brother’s and my sister’s) with kids plus dogs. There have been times when the cabin held eight adults, 9 kids, and 6 dogs! Over the years the cabin carpet has withstood mud, sand, and other “accidents” (you can guess what type) from kids and dogs alike.
She doesn’t worry about the stuff. Instead she focuses on the gathering.
On just about any occasion, she sends “a little something” to the kids. Just to let them know she misses them and is thinking about them.
She is thoughtful.
She’s an awesome cook and feeds us well whenever we are together. Always saying, “Can I get you anymore?”
She has a servant’s heart.
Me, not so much. (Although I am a very gracious recipient!)
Did I mention she is really fun, too?
She’s up for a hike, a card game of hearts, or even a wild tube ride around the lake.
When my husband was out of town and my heart was hurting because someone had been unkind to my young teenager, I called my mom. I should include my call to her was at 11:00 PM my time and midnight her time. Not only did she talk with me, she made sure I knew she was so glad I felt comfortable calling her late at night. (Ha! )
She is my friend.
And…when my oldest daughter told my mom she was gay. My mom said, “Honey, I’m your Grandma, my job is only to love you.” (This can make me cry when I think of it.)
She is loving plus wise.
She models living out her faith by caring for her friends and volunteering at church. She continues to grow spiritually by investing time in her small group and Bible study. My mom introduced me to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship).
She has passed along her love for the body of Christ and her faith.
I love my mom. I want to be like her. (Fat chance) I try to keep things in perspective like she has taught me. But…like the tennis shoes in the picture, I can get hung up on the “junk”.
What good stuff has your mom shown you? Let her know how much you love her, appreciate her, and cherish her sacrifices over the years. Happy MOMs month!
Her children arise and call her blessed. Proverbs 31:28
By,
Lori Wildenberg
c-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting
P.S. I wanted to include a picture of my mom. The two of us went on a trip of a lifetime together this past fall to the Holy Land.
THE MOM WHO GIVES FREEDOM BY CHRISTY FITZWATER
Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series—a nine-day celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of today’s best writers (Tricia Goyer, Lisa Takeuchi Cullen, Beth Vogt, Lesli Westfall, and more). I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on Mother’s Day.
AND . . . do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful handcrafted pearl necklace and a JOYN India bag. Enter at the bottom of this post. The contest runs 5/4-5/13, and the winner will be announced on 5/14. Contest is only open to U.S. residents.
If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info, subscribe to our blog, and see what we’re all about. In short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Mother of Pearl: Luminous Lessons and Iridescent Faith to help support Pearl Girls™.
And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!
~
The Mom Who Gives Freedom by Christy Fitzwater
My mom is a reserved, quiet homebody who has lived in the same house for forty years. She has no ambitious career goals or desire for adventure.
She gave birth to me, an outgoing adventure-lover who has lived to take risks and put myself out into the world, in ways my mother would never dream of doing herself.
Yet my mother has always given me the great gift of freedom. She has never cast onto me her own fears of limelight or reservations about risk but has only encouraged me to do the outrageous things I have attempted to do.
When I received an award in high school that required me to fly, for the first time and by myself, from Wyoming to Atlanta, Georgia (only having talked once by telephone to the person who would pick me up), she sent me off with enthusiasm. (But her heart must have trembled to allow me to get on that plane.)
When that award landed me a full scholarship to a school in Texas I had never heard of (the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor), she rejoiced with me and did not hesitate to allow me to accept the scholarship. She then drove away from me in Texas, leaving me at a school where I knew no one, and only years later told me that was the hardest thing she had ever done.
When I called from Texas, at the end of my freshman year, and excitedly announced I had gotten a job and would be staying in Texas for the summer, she said it was wonderful and gave her approval.
Mom never filled me with doubt about what I could do. She never cast guilt on me for going on adventures that took me far away from her. She never poured her anxiety on my head but spoke only happiness and cheerleader words for me.
But now that I’m a mom, I know.
I know my risk-taking journey has always cost her something. I know every wild ride I chose required her to choose—either to build me up or to press me down. My mom handed me the scissors and, with a smile, allowed me to cut the apron strings and go far beyond what was comfortable for her.
This last week my son got his driver’s license, and now it is my turn to choose. Worry or a hearty smile—which will I give to him?
Let us stand in ovation to the mothers who give their children the ability to live freely.
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Christy Fitzwater is a writer and pastor’s wife in Kalispell, Montana. She is also the mother of a daughter in college and a son in high school. She has an English degree from the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor. Visit her at http://www.christyfitzwater.com.
May 5, 2013
HOW I LEARNED TO GIVE UP CONTROL BY SUE EDWARDS
Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series—a nine-day celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of today’s best writers (Tricia Goyer, Lisa Takeuchi Cullen, Beth Vogt, Lesli Westfall, and more). I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on Mother’s Day.
AND . . . do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful handcrafted pearl necklace and a JOYN India bag. Enter at the bottom of this post. The contest runs 5/4-5/13, and the winner will be announced on 5/14. Contest is only open to U.S. residents.
If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info, subscribe to our blog, and see what we’re all about. In short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Mother of Pearl: Luminous Lessons and Iridescent Faith to help support Pearl Girls™.
And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!
~
How I Learned to Give Up Control by Sue Edwards
I’m one of those mothers who would like to control everything in my children’s lives. You may be too, all out of the best intentions. I tried frantically to do that for many years until God grabbed my attention and wrestled my control issues from my clenched fists. It happened this way.
My youngest daughter attended a large university where campus housing was at a premium. Her second year she was accepted into one of the nicest dorms on campus, but the rule was that you could either choose the room or the roommate of your choice but not both. Well, I had heard horror stories of what happened when you roomed with some girls–like men in the room, and I turned into mother bear. I was not going to allow my child to take pot luck in roommates, nor were we willing to give up that choice room.
I had heard that if your child had a learning disability they would ditch the rule. So I decided to make my case with the administrator who could fix this unfair situation. All week, I was on the phone long distance climbing my way up the ladder to the gentleman who could give my daughter the room and roommate she deserved.
And finally, I was on the phone with him. We talked for a few minutes, and then he asked me, “Does your daughter have a learning disability?” I answered rather indignantly, “Well, I prefer not to label people.” That did it. He bought it. I had done the impossible. I called my daughter, she turned cart wheels on the other end of the phone, and we rejoiced together.
Only the roommate she had chosen, the dear Christian girl from her church, did not turn out to be the roommate she expected. In fact, she did have men in the room, a lot. And she went home at Christmas under suspicious circumstances. All fall I had to endure calls from my daughter who was trying to figure out how to navigate this awkward situation. And it was my fault. Some of us are stubborn and God needs a two by four to get our attention, and break us of our control issues. This was that time for me, and for my daughter. Now, when we are tempted to take control instead of trusting God, we look at each other, remember, smile, and let go.
God knows what he is doing in your life, my life, and the lives of our children. And he loves our children more than we do, as impossible as that may sound. So trust him, follow him. Two by fours are rather painful. You won’t regret trusting your Sovereign Father who has your, and your children’s, best interest at heart.
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Dr. Sue Edwards has over thirty-five years experience as a Bible teacher, overseer of ministries to women, and author. Now, as a full-time professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, she equip men and women for future ministry all over the world. And women everywhere enjoy learning the Scriptures in face to face groups as well as an online community using her Bible studies, the Discover Together Series. To join the online Bible study community or to converse with Sue, go to Facebook.com/discovertogetherseries. She is currently working on a book with Barbara Neumann on mentoring millennials. Married for forty years, she and David are the parents of two married daughters and the grandparents of five.
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May 3, 2013
Even The Hard Stuff
Even the hard stuff can be encouraging. I’ll even say the hard stuff can be more encouraging then the happy stuff. That may sound crazy to you, but I’ve lived this truth. In fact, I’m living it right now.
God told me to trust Him about a situation I’m having much angst over. And when I say told, I mean that literally. There was no mistaking it was Him. I was praying about this thing, crying and crying out about it. I got so riled up that I finally yelled out, “Lord please help me. I’m tired of feeling like this. What do I do??”
And He responded. It wasn’t an audible voice, but it was loud enough in my spirit to sound like it was.”Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” That’s from Proverbs 3:5 (NIV) .
My first thought was, “God is quoting His own words to me. I must really be messing up. Or this must be an extremely important lesson.” My second thought was, “But how do I do what He’s asking? I can’t seem to let this go.” I was thinking this to myself and got interrupted by the voice again.
“Trust in Me, not in yourself.”
Well then.
Now you would think I would get on with the business of trusting. After all, God clearly instructed me. But sadly, I did not. I still tried to get to the bottom of things, figure it out, collect facts, extrapolate to see if my suspicions were true. Yep, I went right on trusting in myself. And then the floor dropped from under me.
There were several instances where my facts didn’t quite add up the way I thought they did. I drove myself crazy stressing out and worrying over something I couldn’t really control anyway. In the process I know I’ve hurt someone I love several times. That’s not my intention but it’s the result of me not being obedient.
Now I know you are saying, “How exactly is this encouraging?” Well I’m learning (and relearning) a few things with my heart, not just my head.
God is most definitely a God of second chances . And thirds and fourths and so on and so on.
When God has ordained a relationship to be, it will be, no matter how badly we mess things up.
God’s Word truly is living and active. We just need to actively apply it to our lives.
I have still have a lot of growing to do, which means I will have to further develop my relationship with God to do so.
God loves me in spite of my flesh sometimes being stronger than my desire to obey Him.
God desires to speak to us.
And he desires that we listen and learn
These discoveries and rediscoveries encourage and excite me. I can do better and I will do better because God is with me. He cares about what’s going on in my life enough to speak His own words to my heart. I don’t know about you but I don’t think encouragement gets much better than that.
May 2, 2013
Mother of Pearl Blogging Series
This is a free series of 8 posts for you to use during the days leading up to and including Mother’s Day. Whether you’re a mother or not, this series is designed to celebrate mothering in all forms. Some of your favorite writers and bloggers have offered up their talents to celebrate moms. The series also features a “pearl”-themed giveaway (a hand-crafted pearl necklace) for you and your blog readers.
The Pearl Girls blog will be hosting Mother of Pearl, and we would like to invite all of you to be involved by hosting this series on your blog, too!
Just fill out this quick form (just name, email, and blog address), and on Sunday, May 5th, you will receive an HTML post for each day.
Don’t feel like you have to use every post — you may pick and choose the posts that fit your blog or blog readership.
A bit more on the contest…
CONTEST: A hand-crafted pearl necklace and a Joyn India bag will be given away as part of the Mother of Pearl series. This contest is open for all of you to post on your blog. The contest will be run using a very simple form. A link to that form will be included in all of the HTML posts. The contest will run from May 6th – May 13th. One winner will be selected at random and announced on May 14th on the Pearl Girls Blog.
Thanks in advance for your participation in this fun Mother’s Day series.
Grace and the Little Black Dress | Siri Mitchell
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
No matter how many times Vogue magazine says red is the new black, or beige is the new black, we all know that black is the only black. And black, at least in fashion, is personified by the Little Black Dress. The LBD.
I lived in France for a while and was surprised to discover that black is always in fashion and it’s always in season. Why? Because it magnifies everything else. White seems whiter. Those French scarves seem brighter. Black is a canvas that allows you to put yourself on display. Which is why fashion is personified by the LBD. It’s classy. Simple. Elegant. Timeless.
The last time you wore high heels might have been at your high school graduation. You might not own a LBD, you might never have a need to wear one, but you can become a LBD person. What if the next time people talked about you, the words they used were classy and elegant? ‘What if’ could become reality if you started slipping grace over your shoulders more often. Grace is bestows blessings where they’re not deserved and just like the LBD:
Grace can go everywhere—no wardrobe is truly complete without a little black dress. It’s not fussy. It’s not loud or flashy. No matter how sophisticated it appears, it’s still perfectly at ease. If you’re like me, most of the people you admire probably seem to understand the human condition. They laugh at life. They understand that nobody is quite as terrible as they seem or as perfect as they appear. These people don’t demand that others meet their expectations and so they’re comfortable in most situations. These people are able to bestow extravagant grace on the rest of us and they seem to fit in everywhere as a result.
Grace is what everyone wants to be around—Aren’t there friends who always make you feel good about yourself? People who provide you with a glimpse of the better, funnier, happier you? They seem to be willing to overlook our most obvious faults and choose instead to dwell on the things we like most about ourselves even when those things are not always evident. Although we like to be with people who are like us, most of the time we yearn to be with people we would like to become. People with grace make us look better just by being around them.
Grace conveys confidence—Have you ever seen a self-conscious person wearing a little black dress? The LBD is fashion at its most basic. It’s all about what isn’t there. No vivid colors, flashy fabrics. Not ruffles or frippery frills. It’s all about less being more. About being so confident in what you have, in who you are, that you no longer need to hide the person you aren’t. Those who cloth themselves in grace no longer judge themselves and so they don’t need to judge others. If you no longer feel diminished, you don’t have to diminish those around you. If you’ve been indulged with glorious grace, then you can turn around and use it to indulge others.
Grace never goes out of style—Grace is beyond trendy. It exists outside of fashion. Like the LBD, it’s an icon; it never goes out of style. What do we call it? ‘Looking on the bright side’. ‘Pollyana’. ‘If you can’t say something nice…’. But you know what? Grace is always well-received because we all secretly want to see the world through grace-filled eyes.
I made my very first LBD. It had an off-the-shoulder draped-neck. It was knee-length with a small slit in the back. On the hanger, it didn’t look like much, but it was a little more form-fitting than anything else I owned and I loved the way it made me feel. I lived in a sorority throughout college and that LBD became the most borrowed piece of clothing I’ve ever had. It became a part of the special memories in many peoples’ lives over those four years. And that’s exactly what grace does. It integrates itself into the fabric of relationships. It lends itself out. Spreads itself around. People flock to it even when they don’t quite understand its appeal.
I still have that dress. Somehow, knowing it’s in my closet, gives me confidence on my very worst days. Because, you see, I am a little black dress person. Maybe not all of the time, maybe not as often as I should be, but sometimes. And you can be an LBD person too. We need more people of grace. Classy? Simple? Elegant? Timeless?…that’s you! Just the way you were meant to be.
May 1, 2013
Scouting Stars
I think I’ve known for most of my life that I’m a bit on the dorky side. For a brief period, in later elementary and middle school, I remember being concerned with popularity, preoccupied with whether the cool kids knew I existed, or cared. But that quickly subsided as I discovered that, in fact, I was much more interested in the company and activities of the kids who didn’t really care so much what others thought of them, but who pursued their own [potentially quirky] interests, and enjoyed them. Once I had come to this realization, I enjoyed a very active and fulfilling high school experience.
Now that my own school experience is very long past, I find that most of the time I don’t even think about the nature of my own work, surrounded by youth. Well, I guess I think about my work; what I don’t so much think about is how these young people are going through all the angst that I am so very grateful to have left behind.
But occasionally, like this weekend, there are opportunities to really get involved in their lives, and spend time musing more on the relational aspect than just on the work/schoolwork portion that normally consumes me:
I am currently on the road, with a busload of youth, on the way back to school from a weekend outing. The logistics of it were 9 middle and high school girls heading to another village to get their international service award for Girl Scouts. I was actually never a scout myself, but willingness to lead, plus experience as a camp counselor, made it easy for me to settle into the role for this trip. And I loved it. I laughed at myself several times over the course of the weekend, for my stereotypical dorky-ness as a chaperone. Last night, for instance, as we sat down for dinner, I announced that I wanted to hear everyone’s “two stars and a wish.” Explaining this exercise I picked up from the workplace, I asked them each to share 2 highlights from the trip this far, plus a wish for the remainder of it. Then I shared my own.
One of my “stars” came from the activity we had done with a local school there that day. 75 young students had come to participate in what we had planned as a culturally educational, plus just fun, day together. For the games, we had them rotate between 5 different stations, each of us manning one activity. Mine was the piñata. We had prepared 2 for each group and we explained to each of them how the game worked, letting them share the candy once the piñata had burst. My star, though, came from watching how the girls with me collaborated as we went, improvising so as to best mesh with the actuality of the day. So we ended up alternating between traditional bat-swinging and punching-bag methods. We also added in some racing for the candy, then offered the broken piñata as a price to the person who had successfully demolished it. And we were quite pleased afterwards to hear many of the children announcing that piñata was their favorite activity of the day. A funny twist came the next day, when we took an outing to the town square to play a photo scavenger hunt. One team discovered, hanging from a tree in the square, one of these same piñata portions, proudly waving in the wind! That “star,” then, was an affirmation of the girls’ ability to collaborate and improvise well.
My second “star” stemmed from the morning hike we had taken the girls on, before the afternoon event had begun. I simply explained that I love the sorts of conversation and bonding that comes from outdoor excursions together, and that morning had been no exception. Another aspect of it that I had particularly enjoyed was realizing how many random tidbits of information there are to learn when. Nearing the top of the hill, I asked why there were so many graves up here. Turns out it is tradition to bury one’s ancestors in the hills, up where they will not be disturbed.
At another point in the hike, I saw more to ask about: the incense placed at the foot of some trees. One had a sign next to it, that my coworker told me read, roughly translated “Incense deposit for the Mountain Gods.” All in all, informational and relational aspects combined, a definite star-worthy hike in the hills!
Then came my “wish.” It was less of a wish, really, and more of a “hopeful expectation.” Every time there is this sort of intensive time together as a group, my favorite part of it is at the end, as everyone begins to share jokes and memories, realizing how close they have grown. Yes, my wish came true ☺
Most are now asleep. Some are reading. All are quiet—remarkably so considering the generally boisterous nature of this particular group. And some of us are mentally preparing ourselves for the next busy week of school that will arrive in a few short hours’ time.
As the bus arrives back at school, a few of us wait for straggling parents to arrive. Two girls sit on the sidewalk, perched on their backpacks as they share the headphones to one’s music. Looking at them, I ask, “Are you tired?” One looks up at me. “No. Just sad.” “Yeah, me too,” I tell her. “Me too.”
April 30, 2013
Accept Love the Way It Is Given
This is how I know my husband loves me: He calls me a few times a day just to see how I’m doing.
But let me tell you how I wanted him to love me: Chores.
In case you haven’t noticed, there is a great disparity between phone calls and chores. There was a chasm of difference between what I expected and what I was actually receiving.
In the early years of marriage, I was constantly annoyed. I was annoyed because Matt wasn’t helping with the dishes or making the bed. I was also annoyed because he called me during the day –for no reason. What do you want? I would ask impatiently. (This from a person who only calls someone when there is a purpose to be accomplished in making the call.) He would say, Just saying hi, seeing how you’re doing. And I would think –no purpose? Just saying hi? This seemed meaningless to my very task-oriented personality.
Then one day it dawned on me –this is how Matt loves me. He calls. He doesn’t hop up and do the dishes, but he thinks about me all day when he’s at work or away on a trip. So I stopped expecting him to do chores as a sign of his love for me and started eagerly awaiting his phone calls during the day. Instead of seeing them as a pointless interruption, I started receiving them like a bouquet of flowers.
When I saw how Matt was loving me and accepted phone calls as his signature, I started to appreciate his love.
Now if he doesn’t call me during the day because he’s too busy, I start to feel anxious and wonder what’s wrong. I miss his demonstration of love because it’s like clockwork 90% of the time.
Have you studied how your man shows love to you? Do you appreciate his signature style, or do you constantly wish he would love you the way you demand? Let me tell you, I’m coming up on our 22 year anniversary, and married life is best when we tailor our expectations to fit the unique personality of our spouse.
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