Mia Sivan's Blog, page 5

Nora Ephron and the Price of Baring it all

Is everything Copy?

Nora Ephron was an extremely successful screenwriter known for "When Harry Met Sally" and "Sleepless in Seattle." HBO made an excellent documentary called "Everything is Copy" that portrays her life and work.

Nora maintained that "everything is copy," meaning that life is a supermarket of raw materials. Any and every experience we encounter in life is fair game for the writer's canvas.

She was married to the renowned journalist Carl Bernstein, who uncovered the Watergate scandal. In the wake of their bitter divorce, she wrote "Heartburn", a tell-all book. In this revenge novel, which became a bestseller (and later a movie starring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson), she laid it all bare about her marriage to her cheating (with her best friend) husband. Her unapologetic honesty caused him considerable embarrassment and pain, tarnishing his fame and reputation.

Good for her, right?

But watching the documentary, I could perceive the heavy toll her family paid. Not only her cheating ex, who had it coming, but her children as well. Nora's exposure scarred her immediate family, her dearest and nearest, for life.

In the book I'm writing now, the heroine's mother is ill in a way that affects both her body and her mind. I furiously poured out several scenes between a mother and her daughter onto the page. One particular intense scene I wrote in a fit of rage after my own ill mother drove me nuts. The scene portrays the mother berating the daughter’s choices, complaining that she doesn't take care of her like she’s supposed to, and belittling her father.

The strain of a serious illness, the kind that hits families while taking care of a member during prolonged illness, is huge. And being candid can benefit the writer and the story, for sure, but sharing others' stories has consequences. And there is my family, my father, my mother, and my sisters, it’s their story too. I think, in the end, I will be very careful about using "the truth" in my book.

What is your opinion? Have you ever found your story told - but not by you?

Balancing Act: Imagination Meets Reality in Storytelling

In the world of literature and television, there is a contract between authors and readers, writers and TV viewers: some details are fiction but others must be real.

I love shows that revolve around the high-stakes world of big business and capital markets, like Billions (especially the early seasons), Succession, and Partner Track. But I DNFd (Did Not Finish) one British show (scroll to the end of this email to find out why and which one), that I felt wasn't authentic and sophisticated enough.

In Recode Media, Peter Kafka’s excellent podcast about technology and entertainment, he once interviewed Melissa Merr - a Wall Street Journal veteran and an advisor on Succession.

Merr talked about how showrunner Jesse Armstrong wanted Succession to be as realistic as possible, constructing a comprehensive framework for the fictional company Wey Star Roco. They defined its businesses, shareholders, holdings, and its corporate structure.

There always was and always will be tension between fidelity and drama, i.e., how much we stick to the facts, and how much we can stray away for the sake of the story. But Merr said that when she told Jesse: no, this kind of corporate action would never fly, he would always listen to her.

I'm glad he did. I believe that even if viewers don't grasp every detail, they sense the reality and depth and eventually every fallacy behind the narrative.

I face similar dilemmas in my stories.

In my book Crunching Her Numbers, the lead character, Kelly, works in an investment management firm (that greatly resembles a firm I used to work at). Israeli law mandates the presence of a VP Investments, a role I held for many years, who is responsible for managing portfolio managers and is accountable to clients and the Israeli Securities Authority.

I didn't want Kelly to be a VP Investments, and I also didn't want her to have to answer to one.

After much deliberation and conferring with friends from the industry, I eliminated this role.

Did it compromise the realism of my story? I don't think so. I adhered to other Israeli laws and regulations and told my story pretty realistically.

Yours,

Mia

P.S.

Here is the Recode episode with Merissa Merr.

P.P.S

The British show I disliked was Industry. I quit watching it after one episode for two reasons:

The economic discussion was too basic. A young woman was sexually harassed by an older woman. There are very few women who work in the industry and even fewer who are rich and powerful - and this is what you choose to show?

Yours,

Mia

Unwinding in Sicily: Beaches, Books, and a TikTok Sensation

Last week, I went on vacation to Sicily. The tremendous heat caused fires all over the island, yet the resilient Sicilians carried on. Even though the fires were put out a mere day before we’d arrived, everything clicked along.

I spent the first day and a half perusing different materials: a marketing handbook, a couple of articles about editing, and a “How to be a successful writer” book. I commented and took notes.

While busy listing action items it suddenly dawned on me: even though I was at the picturesque fishing village of Cefalu, reclining on a lounge chair, I wasn't truly unwinding. I wasn't on a real vacation. I realized that if I wanted to recharge I needed to give my mind a rest.

I recharge while reading fiction, I know that about myself.

I saw a review on Insta and made an impulsive one-click purchase, going for the latest TikTok sensation.

The book I bought is Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yaros. It’s a New Adult Fantasy adventure. To me it was kind of like Dragonflight meets Harry Potter.

It’s not in my contemporary romance genre - hence no latest “writing trends” notes can be taken. The characters in it are in their twenties, quite different from the thirty and forty-something protagonists I typically write about.

Not a ‘useful’ book then. Perfect!

And what’s more important - it is a very good, unputdownable read.

I sipped Limoncello spritz (I gotta tell you, I like Aperol spritz better), in front of the Isola Bella, and in between watching people wade the shallow water to the rocky island and back, I read.

I read when my husband took a siesta in our air-conditioned hotel room (Summer in the Mediterranean - you want to make sure your room has AC), and during the 45-minute line for the cable car down from Mount Etna.

I had a good book, and I wallowed in the pleasure of unashamed reading. I devoured all 645 pages before coming back home.

And that, people, was a real vacation.

Do you have a really good book you read? One that sucked you into its world, and you never wanted to leave? I’d love to hear about it.

Taking a Break vs. Meeting Obligations: The Battle Within

A Very Personal Post

For the past few days, I’ve been taking care of my father. He fell, broke several ribs, and was hospitalized. He needed help doing many things, and although, while at the hospital, I sometimes enlisted the help of male caretakers, I couldn’t always do so. I cajoled him into eating his meals. I rolled his socks onto his feet. He leaned on me when he put on his pants.

In many ways, it reminds me of the time when my children were very young and depended on me. It's a sense of helplessness, both physically and emotionally, that needs attention and care. However, there are significant differences between caring for my children and my father. When my children needed me, I was the parent, which made the care more natural. My father demands care but struggles with following directions, telling me that he's the dad and I'm the daughter, and that I should "mind my manners."

I failed to keep up with numerous tasks and joys this week.

I haven't written a single word for my new book, returned my critique partner's chapters, or stayed updated with my usual finance news sites. Also, I missed my regular beach walk, and an unheard-of situation has evolved: there are unwatched episodes of Dr. Cha waiting for me.

I was on the verge of skipping this post as well.

I told myself that it wouldn't matter to anyone. While I have a pretty good opinion of myself, I don't believe for a second that any of my readers are holding their breath, eagerly awaiting Wednesday, 2 PM Jerusalem time, when Mia's post hits the world wide web.

Nevertheless, here I am, writing to you.

I write, because obligations, especially those I've imposed on myself, must be fulfilled. Not uploading my regular post would eventually nag at me worse than taking a break, even a well-deserved one.

And maybe, even if it's just for one of my readers, this will resonate. Perhaps, for one of you, reading about a complete stranger halfway across the globe, from a different culture and country, giving care to loved ones that are changing before her eyes - it will make the tiniest bit of difference.

Perhaps, it will provide a little solace.

JPMorgan gets screwed and I'm writing about it

I have begun writing my next book, which features a Vice President of Human Resources in a startup as the heroine. Her love interest is a man ten years her junior (yes, ladies and gents, it’s a romance, and she’s entitled to her fun and games).

As per usual in my stories, there will be a subplot involving a financial scam that entangles our two love birds. They are determined to uncover the truth, despite having multiple reasons not to.

Today I’d like to tell you a little about it.

I never try to invent a scam.

Why would I, when other people have gone to such trouble to think of it, act on it, and get caught for it? It would be a sheer waste not to utilize all their hard work.

In this upcoming book, I wanted to avoid purely focusing on financial markets and instead explore prevalent scams within companies that are not publicly listed or subject to frequent external reviews, thus lacking transparency.

In other words - startups.

Israel has a vibrant startup industry (we’re not called “Startup Nation” for nothing), and it makes sense to write about it. But I actually found my story in good old Wall Street.

A news article caught my eye:

“Founder charged with fraud over 175$ million JPMorgan deal”.

A young woman, a founder of a college financial platform, lied about her startup’s financial data. What tickled me was that JP Morgan got, excuse the language, royally screwed here.

I mean, come on, this is JPMorgan! They’re expected to perform due diligence in their sleep. And yet, they fell for it! This incident speaks more to JP Morgan's greed than to the young startup manager who got ensnared in her own web of promises.

I moved the story to Israel because this could have happened in any subscription-based startup here, (and probably did, except I had never gotten to hear of it).

Naturally, there will be romance. And drama. Sexual tension will abound and steamy scenes will sprout (in and around the office, I'm still scouting for locations).

And for the first time in one of my books, the guy will have tattoos - I'm very excited about this.

Are your characters real people?

I’m often asked if the characters in my books are based on real people.

The short answer is yes.

The long answer is yes, but not really.

My dear friend Y, who used to work as an investment manager with me in my previous firm, insists that in the book, Crunching Her Numbers, I based Guy Glick on a colleague we had—an intelligent and professional man always willing to help and explain things. Another friend of mine, K, swears that we worked under someone like Matan, Kelly's dick boss. Perhaps she's right.

What about the lead characters?

Do I know someone like Ilan, the ex-special forces private investigator?

Actually, I do. He is a mix of tough but sensitive Israeli men, although I made him way sexier than he has any right to be. (I modeled his appearance after Jason Statham.)

The readers' favorite character, Slava, is a young and handsome masseur with a knack for quoting moving Russian poetry.

When my book cover artist asked for a description, I couldn't find any stock photo that matched him to my satisfaction, so I provided general details, and she worked her usual magic to create a great picture.

After the book was released, my daughter surprised me by asking if I based Slava's appearance on her father, my husband. No, that wasn't the case, though I have no complaints about the comparison.

Now, what about the heroine, Kelly?

The story revolves around this Argentinian character. Is she based on someone I know?

On me, perhaps?

Well, partially. We have the same profession, and I have worked in a portfolio management company that shares similarities with Kelly's workplace. I also have a good understanding of Argentina, as I have lived there and in its neighboring country, Uruguay.

The book's opening scene, where Kelly finds herself alone in a room full of fifteen men, having to deal with a misogynistic remark, actually happened to me. Alas, I didn't have a sharp retort like she did.​

As for a physical comparison - Kelly has brown eyes, stands tall at 180cm (5'11"), and resembles Gal Gadot.

Out of those three characteristics, only one applies to me.

The truth of the matter is that people in books are always based on people the author knows, but are also completely different from them.

Write what you believe, do as you write

As I may have mentioned once or twice (or maybe like twenty times) I’m a professional investment manager. I write (my new book is live!) almost full time now, but I still find myself doing work related to my former life, like evaluating seed money startups and serving on investment committees.

I’m a member of the investment committee of my alma mater, one of the largest universities in Israel.

The committee’s makeup can easily be described as “Mia and the Boys”. There are five other committee members (all men), the investment manager himself (also a man), the senior consultant (a man, surprise!) the university’s CEO (oh my god what a man), the university’s president (yep, you guessed it: a man).

The role of an investment committee is to develop a comprehensive strategy, which may involve increasing or decreasing equity exposure. Additionally, we are responsible for approving specific investments, particularly long-term illiquid investments such as private equity funds.

Whenever I meet these money managers, I ask the usual finance-related questions. However, I always make sure to bring up the number one issue that matters to me: the need to hire more women in the industry.

I don’t mean just hiring women for administrative or investor relations roles. I mean in key managerial positions where they make critical decisions. It’s 2023, and I have yet to meet an investment fund that doesn't have to explain why they don't have women in top leadership positions.

And let me tell you something: my questions don’t make me popular among the other committee members. They shift uncomfortably in their seats and think exactly what they’ve been thinking for many years: who cares how many women are in the management team, as long as they get the job done?

It would have been much easier to play ball, to be friends with everyone. To be nice and confirm by the rules - the rules men made.

But I persevere. I’m not here to make friends.

They try to shut me up, or deliberately misunderstand my remarks. They get snarky, and angry.

And you might think - well, she can do that. She is in a position of power, secure in it, so she's not risking anything. But the men I'm angering are the same ones who may decide whether or not I get appointed to the next investment committee, which they happen to chair.

And now they won’t.

There is a price to pay for everything we do in this life. And possibly not getting another committee gig is mine. It’s a price I'm willing to pay.

So, for me, acting on what I believe is a must. And writing what I believe, and believing what I write - is also a must.

So my book is out, infused with my beliefs.

And because I also believe in cute puppies, hot men, and lots of sexy times - it’s got those things, too.

Do you have a Girl Squad?

I have less than a week before I fly to my first writers' retreat ever!

I’ll be sharing a villa in Crete with seven other contemporary romance writers, who are all like me - steamy, “open-door”, explicit kind of gals. I bet you'd want to be a fly on the wall of this villa, right? It sounds so glamorous, and I love telling people about it because the most common reaction is "wow, sounds incredible!"

The second most common reaction is "wow, you're really serious about this writing thing," which doesn't piss me off, not anymore. Because they're right.

I am.

One book is a fluke, but two books - that's real. And my second book is here! It's about Tamar, a financial analyst who, at the beginning of the story, is a driven career woman without friends or a life outside work. But, with the help of a girl squad and a newly adopted puppy, she finds love and success (and lots of hot sex).

You can pre-order my second book for just 3.99 USD right here.

Writing about girl squads is fun, and having a girl squad in real life is even better. My new chosen career differs greatly from my old one as an investment manager.

Two things stand out: 1. The romance author community is predominantly composed of women, and 2. They offer incredible support to each other. It is a far cry from the male-dominated and cutthroat culture I had to deal with when I worked in finance. I did have female friends, but they were few and far between, and we were not always able to assist each other. In my current industry, sharing and supporting one another with information, tips, and resources is common and generous.

If you're a reader of smut (which I assume you are, otherwise what are you doing here?), and you're looking for a community, then Facebook is great for getting information and building virtual communities through groups. Check out this great FB group - it's super supportive, non-judgmental, and has tons of reading recommendations: https://www.facebook.com/TheSmutHood.

For broader recommendations, including genres other than romance, check out The Bitchy Bookworms: https://www.facebook.com/groups/400963617670556.

I'll see you here again after the retreat and my book's release. I promise I'll have interesting stories from Crete to share with you.

And if you haven't yet - check out my new book.

Three Ways to get a little Happier

It is a truth universally acknowledged that being angry is bad for your skin. In some recent newsletters, I shared with you my grievances. So, today, I’d like to give you three ways to become a little happier in this crazy-ass world.

First, watch Queenmaker on Netflix.

If you like Billionaires and Succession, then you're bound to love this Korean drama about a fixer who turns on her long-time, all-powerful employer. The story revolves around money, power, politics - the usual mix – but having an almost all-female cast is so refreshing. And it's so much fun to watch! I'm currently binge-watching it, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Second, drink with friends.

It’s amazing how meeting friends can boost my mood. I have six friends from when I worked in the capital markets. One was a chief of brokerage, another sold software to investment firms, and a third began her career as a bond trader, just like me. Our go-to spot is a fantastic restaurant in Levinsky market called Dalida. The food there is amazing (the spicy peppers and feta brulee is brilliant). We order liters of cocktails, eat almost all the menu, and catch up on gossip about old acquaintances from the market. Drinks and friends - never fails.

Third, grab a good book.

Specifically, my book. It will be a win-win: you’ll get to tour my city of Tel Aviv at the bargain price of 3.99$, and I’ll get some pay for my efforts. Everyone’s happy!

Seriously, though, my second book is (almost) in the house!

Just staring at this pretty cover makes me happy.

This book has two overachieving protagonists who can’t stop touching each other, cute puppies, and a high-stakes financial mystery to solve.

Advanced Review Copies have already gone out to some of you. The book will be published on May 14th, and here is the pre-order link.​

Has anything made you happy this week? Hit reply and let me know.

Gilead is Here Passover 2023

Last night we celebrated Passover.

We got stuck in traffic jams, ate way too much, met distant relatives, and fully understood why we never stay in touch with them.

But Passover is also a celebration of the end of the Jewish people's time as slaves and the beginning of their lives as free people in their own country.

On this day, when we celebrate freedom, I cannot write to you and pretend that all is as usual.

In the last couple of months, our far-right government has been pushing forward legislation that will lead Israel to become a theocratic dictatorship (think Iran). Two of the parties that are now in the coalition don’t even allow women to be members of parliament, and if it were up to them, they wouldn't allow us to vote, either.

My book series is called Women of Tel Aviv, and in my books, I write about the everyday lives of the women of my city who go to work, eat, love, and make love.

I try to emulate the famous words of Jane Austen:

“The little bit (two inches wide) of ivory on which I work with so fine a brush as produces little effect after much labour.”

Yet, creating peacefully in my small corner of the world is only possible if a larger framework of freedom is firmly in place.

What would happen to my books, which depict explicit sex, kinks, and birth control, if Israel were to become a corrupt theocracy?

Would I be allowed to continue writing the way I write? Would they ban my books?

(I have to admit I'm of two minds, since being banned in Israel will make for great PR. It would surely lead to more sales in the rest of the world).

Professor Ruth Halperin-Kaddari, who has led the UN committee on the elimination of forms of discrimination against women, spoke last month in her speech demonstrating in Jerusalem in front of the Knesset (the parliament):

“Women in Israel are facing the biggest threat to their status, to their rights and to the rights of their daughters, since the founding of the state (of Israel).”

Therefore, women are at the forefront of the protest, and it is my beloved city of Tel Aviv that has become the center of the resistance to this vile government.

We use powerful images, drawing a literal red line. Women march silently, dressed in screaming red gowns. We do not want to become walking wombs, nothing more than a receptacle for the masters' semen, as the handmaids have in Margaret Atwood's story.

What else is there to do in the face of a determined fascist government?

As for me, I go to protests (check me out below wearing a yellow sticker).

I donate money to the women’s movements that organize the protests.

I continue to write my fluffy, inconsequential, smut-filled books, because having a voice and writing what I want, however I want to, is the true definition of freedom.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/f54ed9_c74502267c6b4011b95a77d17ba89af4/1080p/mp4/file.mp4