Anne Poirier's Blog, page 2

The Gift of Body Neutrality

How a stuffed animal led to Body Neutrality

The girls and I sat on the floor next to the Christmas tree. It was a year after the divorce and my relationship with them was tenuous at best. I was doing the best I knew how, but I was still in self-destruction mode.

They excitedly handed me a present. I looked at them tentatively and slowly opened it.

Staring back at me was the cutest little pink “scary monster” stuffed animal. She had a cute pink mouth with one single sharp white tooth.  Tiny pink striped arms and legs and soft stuffed hands.

 

The gift of gratitude

I started to cry. Happy, wonderful, thankful tears of gratitude, love, and joy.

I named this little scary monster- Izzy. She came into all of our lives many years ago during a visit to New York City and the future parents of the babies in my belly. It was Christmas time and the girls and I were visiting the babies’ parents.

It was a wonderful time to be in the city. Shopping, ice skating, and The Rockettes were on the agenda. One morning we took an excursion to FAO Schwarz, the toy store. After waiting in a long line that weaved its way around the building to get in, it was our turn. We entered the massive store in awe.

We had never been in a store so grand. It was more than we could comprehend. Floor after floor, aisle after aisle of toys. All shapes, sizes, colors, textures, types. We were riding up the escalator to the next magical floor when at the top I saw this huge display. There was a fun sign on top saying “Not so Scary Monsters”. I ran toward it, feeling like a five-year-old in a candy store, because I saw this adorable pink monster. I picked it up and stared at it with a huge smile on my face and turned to show the girls, who were no longer in sight.

 

Unbridled JOY

I spun around in circles looking for them and spotted them in a section nearby. I started yelling in their direction while holding the little stuffed doll up in the air. Hmmm, no reaction. I yelled again and they turned with these faces I will never forget. Heads tilted, eyes saying silently to me, “Mom, geez, get a grip!”

I held tight to the stuffed “monster” and ran over toward them to show them. “Isn’t this the cutest thing you have ever seen!” They both nodded, smiled, and said, “Ya, sure, Mom, that’s really cute, you should get it.” Then turned to continue their walk down the Bratz doll aisle. I sighed, smiled, and became sullen all in the same moment. I can’t buy myself something, we don’t have enough money. If I spend any money, it needs to be for them.

I wandered back to the big bin and gently, sadly placed this cute pink monster back into her home.

 

 

What you do when you care about something

And right now, she was in my arms. I talked to her immediately and she talked to me back to me in her “Izzy” voice. My heart was full of gratitude. They remembered. They care, they love me. I couldn’t thank the girls enough. They were both proud of themselves too for pulling this off, and rightly so.

Ms. Izzy has gone everywhere with me. She has traveled and moved five times since then and has landed on the back of the couch I am now sitting on.  I have had wonderful conversations together, because I love her.  And because I love her, I take good care of her.

Occasionally, she takes car trips with me.  She has cheered me on as I ran my first marathon, and she has held on tight to the toll money while she sits on the car’s dashboard.

It is because she is so important to me and was given to me by my daughters, that she is taken care of so well.  She is talked to kindly, appreciated, hugged, smiled at, and deeply loved.

That is what we do with a gift you like, one that you love. You take care of it, you treasure it, you treat it with respect and kind- ness, in whatever capacity that is. Wonderful gifts are important to us; thus, we nurture, take care of, and love them.

 

What about the bad gift?

So, what happens when you receive a “bad” gift, one you don’t care for? Usually, these bad gifts don’t get shown quite the same love. They may get shoved to the back of the closet, are given away, regifted, or taken to Goodwill or other donation spaces. For most of us, when we like or appreciate something, we take care of it. When we don’t, we don’t. It is a pretty simple concept.

So, if this statement is true, if we can choose to start appreciating and liking our bodies, might we begin to take better care of them? Might I even nurture it?

If we know our actions and behaviors come from our thoughts and feelings, this makes complete sense.

When the brain receives signals around how you think and feel about things, people, places, and about yourself, it responds, and you act accordingly. Your actions sometimes even are automatic and subconscious.

 

 

Our behaviors are connected to our feelings and thoughts

Our behaviors are congruent and instinctual to what we think, and what we feel.

Izzy helped me realize this. For every one of the five moves I have made since that Christmas morning, she has driven in the front seat. It’s because I love her so much that she is treated with such kindness and care. On the last move, I realized how I treated Ms. Izzy and asked myself, why have I not ever treated myself like that? I have never thought to actually like myself, much less appreciate myself.

This was an A-HA moment, I knew that if I ever wanted to try to treat myself with kindness and respect, I would need a whole lot of help.

 

My Body, My Business

I made the decision to at least stop hating my body and hating myself, and I started with a concept called body neutrality. I created a continuum on a piece of paper. On one side was body hate (where I was) and on the other side was body love, something I knew nothing about. In the middle there was this body neutrality. I knew I could not jump from where I was to this body love concept. It felt too foreign, too impossible.

 

 

Enter Body Neutrality

But with body neutrality, I was able to at least move away from the body hate end of the continuum. I defined it as the resting place somewhere in the middle where I could move away from the chaos of the thoughts and beliefs I had about my body.

Body neutrality gently quieted my critical inner voice (my Mini-Me) and started to strengthen a voice of body appreciation (my Maxi-Me) I started by being grateful for what my body could do at any given moment and disconnected from what it “looked like.” Up until this point, I had only ever thought about what my body couldn’t do. I focused on what was wrong with it, through comparison, criticism, and judgment. Although I couldn’t seem to switch over to really liking my body at the time, I was able to be at least grateful for my body. I was able to step back from the old thoughts with the help of Maxi-Me. I gave her one job. Every day find three things about your body to be grateful for. That was it.

I started with my legs; they are strong enough and capable of walking, which allow me to take walks, go to the store, and be independent. My face can smile; when I smile, my body relaxes, and I feel better. My belly gave birth to four children. How amazing is that.

 

This is MY BODY, and MY BODY is MY BUSINESS!

This body, my body, is the only one I have and the vehicle that has brought me to this moment and experienced every minute of my life.  So, with this new thought process, I began to intentionally search for gratitude and appreciation for my body. I looked back to see all the physical things my body had done for me from a different perspective. The wonder of climbing trees, swimming, skipping, hugging, having children, making sandcastles, or making love. As I stepped into the body neutrality mind-set, I began to develop a deeper acceptance of myself.

Your body is yours. My body is mine. You get to treat yours the way you want to treat it. No one has the right to tell you how to think, what to eat, what to do, what to believe, or how to behave. Those are your choices, so what are you going to choose?  Want to start your journey to Body Neutrality? Click here for your free Body Neutrality Body Neutrality Starter Kit! Or schedule a body neutrality chat HERE.

 

The post The Gift of Body Neutrality appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

How to stop dieting & heal your relationship with food

As a Body Joyful Expert for the online publication Crunchy Tales, I wanted to share this impactful blog I wrote about healing your relationship with food and finally rejecting diet culture for good.  It is never too late.

How to Stop Dieting in your 50’s and beyond…And heal your relationship with food

 

Women spend an average of 17 years of their life dieting. Only for most of them to gain the weight back each time within the first 3 years, and more than half of it within the first year. This was true for my own experience and has been true for the clients that I serve today. 

“The best decision I ever made was to step off this treadmill and decided never to diet again.” A.Poirier

 

Research has discovered that dieting is not a sustainable way to achieve and maintain weight loss. The more a person goes on and off a diet (dieting history) the quicker the body will respond physiologically: the metabolic rate becomes lower, hunger is higher, and the signal to tell the brain the body has had enough fuel is broken. This results in the gaining of weight and difficulties in being able to listen and respond to our body’s needs. Thus, the feeling of being on a treadmill, going nowhere. 

Unfortunately, the process of learning how to stop dieting and eat normally again isn’t usually as simple or easy as we might like. Especially if we’ve been following supposed trendy weight loss fads for a long time.

If you’re fed up with being stuck in the cycle of yo-yo diets,

…maybe it’s now time to move your focus away from the number on the scale or your body’s size and shape, and toward nourishing your body and enjoying the experience of eating like a way of fulfilling ourselves in mind, and spirit, too. 

Stepping Off The Diet Treadmill 

Stepping off the diet treadmill for good means choosing to change your relationship with food and then start to experience more joy, appreciation, peace, and freedom. Freedom from counting and calculating, emotional attachments to scales or calories, peace with your body and enjoyment of family, food, and friends.  

3 Steps to get you started Try Intuitive Eating

Instead of searching the internet or the newest magazine to tell you how, what and when you should eat, start tuning into your body’s natural hunger and fullness cues. Intuitive eating, according to the developers Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole is a self-care-based eating framework, which integrates instinct, emotion, and rational thought into the eating experience. A way to steer by internal body signals and wisdom rather than external rules. 

 

Embrace Body Neutrality

The biggest reason for a person to go on a diet is to lose weight. What comes with that, is the desire to change the way their body looks. This is because they don’t like how it appears in a mirror, they compare it to others, or don’t feel good in it.  Body neutrality is a middle-of-the-road approach to how you feel in your body (body image). It suggests neither loving nor hating your body. It’s based on the notion of body appreciation, acceptance and respect for your physical structure while focusing on your strengths.

 

Disconnect exercise from weight loss or a ‘must do’You already know that exercise has some amazing effects on your overall health, mobility, strength, and energy. Yet, as we get older, it can become one more thing to put on our to-do list. Or it may come with a lot of self-imposed rules like “I have to get my heart rate to a specific point”, or “I have to go to the gym, or if I don’t have an hour, it’s not worth it“. Disconnecting exercise from these rules and must do, or should do lists, and towards a “what is really important to me” list, can make moving your body must less daunting. Bring your attention to WHY moving your body is important to you. This can make finding the motivation to exercise easier, more enjoyable and sustainable. Try choosing to accept that you deserve a healthy, strong, and flexible body. 

Adopting these mindful practices is a way to transform your relationship with food. Sometimes, just slowing down and paying attention to the way we eat can help us to make better food choices and manage cravings. 

Of course, the way we eat and think about food are both influenced by many factors, most of which aren’t about (or at least only about) food itself. If you’re having trouble reconnecting with your body in a more intuitive way, it’s worth getting some professional help for any underlying issues about food and eating.  Schedule a free chat today and begin to find your own way off the dieting treadmill for good. 

The post How to stop dieting & heal your relationship with food appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

7 Ways to Embrace Body Neutrality

How do you feel about your body?

If you are like most women, you have days where you struggle.  As a matter of fact, over 90% of us have “I hate my body!” moments every day, and the fact that 80% of our thoughts repeat day after day, makes for a lot of negative thoughts around our body image.

Why is it that we struggle so much with accepting the body that we have? Our bodies came from the destined meeting of a one-of-a-kind sperm, and a one-of-a-kind egg? I mean, really, aren’t we all supposed to look different and BE DIFFERENT from one another?

 

Fitting In

I spent most of my life trying to fit into a body size that would be acceptable to everyone around me.  It is no wonder I succumbed to feelings of disappointment, frustration, shame, judgment, criticism, and self-loathing.

It was only when I made these 3 radical decision.  (1) To throw my scale away for good. (2) Vow never to diet again, and (3) Reject diet culture and society’s “thin ideal” (The pressure to look a specific way or a specific size/shape-which, by the way, is always changing) that I began to not hate my body.

Hating my body was not working for me, but thinking about loving my body (after a lifetime of hatred) wasn’t even a remote possibility.

Body Neutrality

I found myself searching for something in the middle.  This is where body neutrality enters the picture.  I decided I could choose to stop hating my body, while choosing to feel OK about not being able to love it either.  I could simply feel neutral about it.

What does Body Neutrality (or feeling body neutral) mean?

Body Neutrality means focusing on the function of your body, rather than its appearance.  It means appreciating what your body does on a second to second and minute to minute basis (mindfulness).  It means appreciating the experiences you have had (from the amazing to the hard) up until this moment in time, because, without your body, you wouldn’t have any of those memories or experiences.

Our body, is the vehicle or vessel we experience our lives in. Period. No more, no less. That is Body Neutrality.  It is honoring and respecting the vehicle you live in every day.

To start thinking this alternative way can be hard.  I get it. This is where you have the opportunity to make a decision.  You can choose to live in the story you have told yourself for decades, that:

~When you just… (lose the weight, fit into that size)…Then I will be happy, then I will be enough, then I will be accepted….

Choosing a different story

Or you can choose a different story, a new one. A body neutral one.  One where you start notice and appreciating the things your body does for you.  Starting this practice might feel uncomfortable at first, but that’s only because you haven’t practiced it yet. Whenever we try something new, it takes some time to get used to it.  This is no different.

Imagine, 3 years from now, still thinking that you are not good enough, fit enough, smart enough, strong enough, thin enough…. whatever enough.  How will you be living your life?   What will you be saying no to?

 

Changing your thoughts

You have the ability to change your thoughts…your beliefs…your stories, anytime you want. If you are living a life (a story) in self-loathing and body hatred, maybe it is time to step out of that story.  Turn the page and decide to write a new story.  One that has you realizing that your body has done some pretty cool things.  Or maybe your story is that you realize your body is your home and hating it hasn’t been helpful so far.

 

How to Embrace Body Neutrality

Here are 7 ways to start to respect, honor and nurture that one-of-a-kind body of yours. 

Start a body gratitude practice. Every evening, write down 3 things your body did that day.  It could be carrying the groceries, swinging on a swing, sweeping the floor, drinking coffee, watching your daughter score a goal.Listen to what your body is telling you (it will tell you what it needs) Our bodies are like flashing yellow lights. They try hard to get our attention, yet so many times we don’t listen.  Start listening to what your body is trying to tell you.  I am angry, I am hungry, I am sad, I am tired…then honor that, if you can.Shift the negative self-talk. When your thoughts start beating you up, NOTICE.  Take a deep breath and let yourself know, this thought, this voice is not helpful.  Then, counter that thought with something you would say to your best friend.  Something kind, compassionate and caring.  (Yes, this might feel weird, and uncomfortable. Do it anyway!)Throw your scale away.   Also, know you can say “No” when you’re asked to step on the scale at the doctor’s office. They don’t need your weight, (unless they are prescribing a specific dose of a medicine)Focus on your strengths. Those things that you are good at, that make you feel happy, light, proud.  You have them.  Give yourself permission to accept, enjoy and honor them. (If you don’t know what they are, ask a friend or family member-they will be able to tell you)Clean up your social media feeds. If you find yourself feeling bad, criticizing, or comparing yourself to someone else as you scroll through Instagram, block whoever is triggering those feelings.  Start filling your feed with posts and people that inspire you and make you feel good about yourself.Wear clothes you feel comfortable in. Try on clothes facing away from the dressing room mirror, and just notice how the clothing feels on your body.  Squat down, lift your arms overhead, notice the texture of the material.  Feel good?  Turn around.  Feel tight, uncomfortable, scratchy, just plain yucky?  Take it off and hang it back up.

You deserve to treat yourself the same way you would treat the 5-year-old you, because she is you and you are enough.  You always have been, just as you are. And you will always be enough.  It is up to you to choose to believe it.

Looking for help to find your enough-ness?  Schedule a body neutrality chat.  Your body deserves it.

 

The post 7 Ways to Embrace Body Neutrality appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

Don’t weight! Honor your ‘here and now’ body today

Oh…how I wish I had a dollar for all the times I had said “No” to doing something I really wanted to because…

I didn’t want people to see my bodyI would have to explain what or why I was eating whatever I was eatingI certainly didn’t want to tempt myself with foods I “shouldn’t be eating”The fear someone would comment on my body or the food on my plateThere was no way I was going to be seen in the body I was in.

 

It wasn’t until I discovered Body Neutrality…

That I realized things could be different.  I didn’t have to love my body, and I didn’t have to hate it either, I could just start seeing myself differently.  Body neutrality gave me permission to start appreciating what my body could do for me rather than for what it looked like.

Body neutrality it’s a different way of thinking about and perceiving your body.  It’s not about buying into liking or hating it because it is about appreciating…

What it can doThat is your vehicle to experience your life inThat it allows you to control and share with others …through verbal, physical, virtual, and spiritual communication.

I know too many people who don’t have any pictures of themselves with their kids…

Or who won’t go to the beach, lake, or pool to enjoy the experience….

Or miss out on weddings, graduations and other special events …

Do to how they feel in their bodies. Why is it we wait to actually live our lives…do to our weight?

How do you feel in your body? 

Let me adjust that a little.  How do you feel in your ‘here and now’ body?

Right this minute, as you’re reading these words.  Would you feel different if you just got back from a wonderful walk in nature vs. if you were staring in your closet trying to figure out what to wear to a party?  Are you feeling different when you scroll through social media vs. finishing up a great yoga class?

Why is it, even when our body is the same (looks and weighs the same), we feel different about it depending on what is happening OUTSIDE of us?  It shouldn’t matter at all…

And yet, we feel different in our bodies at different times.

We tell ourselves (our internal self-talk) how to feel at any given time.  Keep this in mind…we are programmed (from our past) to focus on that negative internal voice.  The one that tells you what you can’t do, what you don’t look like, or ‘should’ look like, or ‘won’t ever’ look like.  And wherever we focus our attention…just gets more and more of it.  (Click here for how to develop a more positive inner voice)

You can feel different at work, at home, in the world or in your community.  Different due to what you see on the TV or on social media.  Different with certain family members or friends. The thing is, all of these things are part of our human existence. Do you WANT to believe these things should impact on how you feel about and in your body?  Do you want to hide when Aunt Margret comes over?  Or beat yourself up because you weigh more, or have a bigger or smaller booty than your co-worker?

Honoring your ‘here and now’ body

How you can begin to appreciate, honor and respect your here and now body, regardless of what is happening around you?  It starts with beginning to connect to how you feel on the INSIDE.  By noticing the way your body shows up for you every day and creates a different overall perception of your body.

It is the shifting your internal perspective of how you feel in your body at any given time.  This can be done by identifying and connecting the thoughts and behaviors that help you feel good about yourself and identifying the thoughts and behaviors that contribute to you feeling embarrassed, ashamed or judgement of yourself.

With this awareness and knowledge, appreciation and respect of your body can begin.

 

How to appreciate and respect your ‘here and now’ body…

…regardless of what is happening around you, to you or for you.

Body appreciation exercise

Let’s try an experiment.  Try to focus on what your body can do, how you can honor it and how it shows up for you.  Gratitude is one of the best ways to start.   We already know that gratitude has a huge impact on our physical, emotional and spiritual lives…so, why not turn this towards the body.  YOUR ‘HERE AND NOW’ BODY.

Finish this prompt: My here and now body can…(list 10 things your body can do):

(examples: my body can hug my daughter, drive a car, write add in a journal, bake a cake)

If you have a hard time, go to your senses.  Stop and look around. What do you see? What can you hear?  What can your body touch, lift, pat, carry?  Smell? Taste? Our bodies, right here and now, are freaking amazing!  That is a belief I have chosen to repeat for myself.

Are you willing to pause long enough each day to notice how amazing they are?  And give yourself permission to thank that amazing body of yours for taking the time to read this blog.

 

Your body size or shape does not define your worth(and it never will) 

Until next time I’m sending a big hug to you. Think about it coming from your own body, because it appreciates you so very much.

Continue this journey towards honoring your ‘here and now’ body by downloading your free digital eBook of The Body Joyful-My journey from self-loathing to self-acceptance.   Email anne@thebodyjoyful.com and write BOOK in subject line.

 

The post Don’t weight! Honor your ‘here and now’ body today appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

Why Avoiding Oppressive Diet Culture is Good for your Health

You wake up in a fabulous mood, had a good night sleep and are ready for your day.  On your way to work, you walk into the local grocery store to pick up some coffee for the office and proceed to the check-out line. As you are waiting in line, you look to your left, and this is what you see.  Racks of magazines with these headlines:

Lose 5 pounds overnight!Drop 10 pounds in the next 4 days!Flatten your stomach in 3 minutes a day!

 

Invasion of Diet Culture

Instantly your mood shifts. You look down at your stomach and sigh because the guilt and shame have stormed in as you wonder why you ate last nights dessert.

You’re not alone. Diet culture is everywhere, especially this time of year.  The diet guru’s come out of hiding and swarm into your days.

There is no escaping it.  From the grocery store, drug store and office to the TV, and social media: ‘Eat this’, ‘Don’t eat that’, ‘Keto this and Paleo that’.  And the sad truth is, it always seems to get your attention.

Enough already!  

 

The truth about diets

It is well researched and proven that…

95% of dieters regain the weight that they have lost (with 66% gaining even more!)Dieting slows down your metabolism (so you gain weight faster when not dieting)Dieting raises the fat storing hormone cortisol and increases stress (thus signaling your body to hold onto fat for protection!)Dieting eats away at important lean body tissueWhen your dieting, your obsessed with thoughts of food

And yet, many of you find yourselves searching for the magic pill, or a plan that will help you lose weight, or change your body.

I get it, I have spent 76% of my life (yes, I did the math) either “ON” or “OFF” a diet.  Always looking for “THE ONE”.  The one that will work, that will finally make me “happy”.  I even did the same ones repeatedly.  Because, you see, they worked, once.  I lost weight on Jenny Craig…3 times. No wonder Diet Culture is a 72-billion-dollar industry.  How much money, time, and energy have you spent searching and struggling to find the “right one”.  

Always thinking if it worked once, it should work again, right?  Well, I have found out the hard way, that is FALSE, because our bodies change. They actually adapt to dieting behavior!  What worked when you were 20, will probably not work when you are 40….

AND, depending on your own diet history, your body can get really good at dieting!  Thus, making weight loss more and more difficult each time you try.

Here is the thing:

If diets worked, why do we still have such a plethora of them surrounding us?

 

More truth about dieting

Remind yourself how you feel when you go on a diet…

DeprivedPunished … like you’re not good enough as you areWeak, tired, and lethargicDepressedObsessive about exercise and calorie intakeStressed out about being with family and friendsOverly emotionalShort-TemperedSelf-Critical while looking in the mirror (including more body checking)And withdrawn and isolating.

 

There is A Better Way

“What if you decided NEVER TO GO ON A DIET AGAIN?”

What would that look like? And more importantly, what would it FEEL LIKE?

Making this decision for me was the single most important decision I made for myself.  (you can read my story in the book The Body Joyful-My journey from self-loathing to self-acceptance)  I am now free, and you can be too. Here is how…

 

Enter Intuitive Eating

As soon as I made the decision to Reject Diet Culture, (which Is the first principle of Intuitive eating) I found myself feeling empowered.  I also began to have the opportunity to…

Move and exercise how and when I want (without thinking about external factors)Have all the energy I needed to do whatever I wanted to doEnjoy all foods with friends, family, or aloneNot be defined by comments from othersUnderstand and empathize with the struggles of others around food and weightFeel comfortable and confident in my ‘here and now’ bodyBe free from the hours of counting and calculatingFeel free to wear clothes that are comfortableRelease the shame and guilt around eating and foodNot stress over going to the beach, getting photographed, or trying on clothes.

 

Tuning into you

Choosing to tune into yourself and look inside, rather than seeking outside of yourself through external plans and programs makes sense.  We are all genetically different.  So, what feels good for one person, may not feel good for someone else.

Intuitive eating is all about connecting with your own body.  Your hunger, your fullness, your satisfaction, your unique, one-of-a-kind body.  It is a series of 10 Principles that free you from diet culture, and guide you towards freedom with food, eating, and yourself.  Stay tuned for our next blog, where I will share more about these 10 principles and how you can begin to turn up the volume on tuning into your body.

If you are looking to connect with an empowered, supportive community who embraces Intuitive eating AND feeling more comfortable and confident in their bodies, head over to The Body Joyful Revolution Community (a private Facebook page). It is full of free resources and tools.  See you there!

The post Why Avoiding Oppressive Diet Culture is Good for your Health appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

Creating Ripples of Self-Worth

I stand on my deck and throw a stone into the glass like water on the small pond outside nearby.  There is instant impact, a circular ripple that spreads out towards the edges of the pond.  It is like the impact that we have on the others around us every day.  You never really know how your actions, big or small, impact the world and people around you.

The smile you share with someone on the streetA hug between you and a friend you haven’t seen in a whileThat retreat leader you talked aboutTraining to go on a walking or biking trip somewhereGetting your GED or taking a college classHaving a baby for someone who cant

 

Creating ripples of self-worth

The smile that you shared with someone today?  It made their day.  That was what it took for them to realize that they mattered, that they were not invisible to the world.  They have been slowly losing their self-confidence over the past month…feeling unworthy and unloved.  It was the smile that you shared that gave them a boost. They went home feeling uplifted.  Like life may be worth living after all.

That hug that you gave to a friend today?  It was the first sense of warmth and kindness that they have felt in over a year. The physical touch of a hug made their blood start to flow warm again.  They have been feeling lonely, sad, and withdrawing from people lately.  Why was it today that you bumped into each other at the store?  It had been years since you last saw them.  It was YOUR strong, compassionate hug that was just what they needed to let them know someone cared.  They went home to their family feeling loved and shared that to them as well.  Double, triple, quadruple ripple!

 

Creating ripples of self-confidence

How about the coach you talked about?  It inspired others to start following her.  Because of that they have picked up a pen.  They have started to write, create, feel.  They signed up for her email.  They read a piece that inspired them to start to see their body in a whole new way.  Because of that one share, they think, act and live differently within their body.  This has allowed their teenage daughter to see herself differently too.  Think about the ripple effect that can continue from here…

Or the training program you’ve been on?  It has inspired the mom who lives across the street.  She hasn’t moved in years!  She has been watching and admiring you from the window, lace up your sneakers, smile, and stretch and move your body.  She admired your drive and dedication from afar.  You told her about your goal a couple months ago and asked her to join you.  She said she couldn’t ever do that, but now, because of you, she wants to set her own goal and move with you…

 

Creating life changing ripples

A class that you debated on signing up for? After all that deliberation in your head, the voices telling you it would be too hard, or that you wouldn’t be able to do it, you decided to take the bull by the horns, bite the bullet…jump into your fear, and you did it.  You successfully finished.  You are proud, and because of what you accomplished you have been the perfect model for your son, daughter, cousin, sister…Giving them all hope that anything is possible, even when they think it is not.

Or even helping that woman have a baby of her own?  The woman that you met who was looking for a woman who would be a surrogate mother for her.  She had lost her uterus to cancer, and desperately wanted a child.  Because of you, she and her husband have a family to call their own, a dream come true and a gift that lasts a lifetime.

 

You make a bigger difference than you think.  The events and experiences of our lives are like ripples a stone makes in the water.  They last long after the stone sinks to the bottom. 

 

I am on a mission to throw lots of stones into the water this year.  I have no idea what effect they will have, and that is ok.  My goal is to keep throwing.  How might you create a ripple effect in your world?  One smile, one hug, one shift in perspective, one decision, one share…. That’s all it takes to completely change someone else’s life.

 

This is our goal this year over at The Body Joyful Revolution.  There we share that your weight does not define your worth.  That you deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your body, no matter what size, shape or weight you are.  That you are worthy, deserving and enough, period.  We need you; the world needs you and you matter to all of us. Especially our next generation.  They need to be able to see women of all sizes shapes and weights…. all ages, all ethnicities, all religions, all cultures show up being confident in who they are. Not a member? Join here today: The Body Joyful Revolution

This is what creating a ripple effect is all about.

 

The post Creating Ripples of Self-Worth appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

How to make this your best one yet? Create a destination postcard!

2022 is almost a memory.  How was your 2022?  Have you asked yourself that?   If not, go here to ask yourself some important questions to move into 2023 with some added wisdom! 

I am reposting this blog, because every year we deserve a re-due! It turned out to be another crazy year all around.  So, let’s all do this again.  Things have changed.  We have all had the opportunity to take a step back and look at our lives from a different perspective.  What did you learn about you last year?  About what is important to you?  Why not take that information and put it to good use! 

Your year-end letter

An old client of mine used to send out a wonderful year-end holiday letter. It would always contain the adventures of her four-footed friends Timber and Josie, herself, and the states that she and her husband had “knocked off” their list.  

You see, after they had achieved the goal of climbing all of New Hampshire’s “4,000 footers”, they became antsy for another goal—one that involved the two of them and would be exciting and enjoyable to accomplish.

They decided it would be a fun and interesting way to see the country if they set a goal to visit and spend at least one night in each of the 50 states. They posted up a map of the United States in their den and the fun began. 

I always loved to receive this letter to see how their goal and vision was being lived, what states they had pinned, and what adventures they had in each state.

As we start this brand-new year, we tend to think about what it might contain, asking the question…I wonder how this year will go down?

How to make your dreams come true this year.

Do you realize that you have more power than you think over your own 2023 destiny and how you’ll make your dreams come true? YOU DO! 

Take the challenge:

We call it creating your own “Destination Postcard”. It can also be framed as your own year-end holiday letter. It’s a way to share with yourself how you want to feel, what you want to do, and what changes you want to make this coming year. 

As you know from our last blog, I am not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, yet I am a fan of the power of thought and visualization.

That’s one reason I’m also a fan of journaling. Here are some of the other benefits of journaling. 

Are you willing to take a few minutes to “see and feel” YOUR 2023? To actually visualize what it will feel and look like when you sit back with a cup of coffee on December 31, 2023 and reminisce about your past year?

It’s so easy for our days to slip by.  Do you ever wonder where a week or month went as you pause long enough to think back? Isn’t it true that more often than not, you can’t even remember what you’ve done?

Without taking time to form intentions and think about what you want to do, feel, or experience, the likelihood of you doing, feeling, or experiencing anything at all disappear. 

An exercise in visualization.

An exercise I do a lot is one involving talking out events, in present tense, that have yet to come. I talk about how a future event turned out, with embodied excitement and joy. It has helped me release any stress about an upcoming situation and enter it with calmness and confidence.  

How to start.I remember how…I remember when…It was so exciting to…It felt so amazing to…

 

This might be something that could be written for me….

“It has felt so amazing to really start changing the way I see myself this year. I have finally stopped beating myself up and have been accepting and actually appreciative of who I am! It has been the best year, I am treating myself better, enjoying more dancing and hiking, eating new and interesting foods that feel and taste good, and doing things I would not have dared to do before…I have so much more energy and confidence. I look in the mirror and smile know.  A year ago, I would not have thought that was possible.  It has been an amazing year.”

What would you like to do, feel, or experience this year? 

Take some time this week to sit down and write yourself an end-of-year holiday letter or destination postcard, outlining how you made your dreams come true. Write it as if you are dictating on December 31, 2023. Read it often, post it somewhere, or schedule to send it to yourself every month.  

I can’t wait to hear how your 2023 was. Mine has been fantastic!

Want to be part of a community making their dreams come true too?  Click here to join the Body Joyful Revolution!  A community of women, regardless of weight, size or shape empowering other themselves and women to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies! 

 

The post How to make this your best one yet? Create a destination postcard! appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

How to make 2022 your best year yet? Create a destination postcard!

2021 is almost a memory.  How was your 2021?  Have you asked yourself that?   If not, go here to ask yourself some important questions to move into 2022 with some added wisdom! 

I am reposting this blog, because every year we deserve a re-due!  2021 turned out to be another crazy year all around.  So, let’s all do this again.  Things have changed.  We have all had the opportunity to take a step back and look at our lives from a different perspective.  What did you learn about you last year?  About what is important to you?  Why not take that information and put it to good use! 

Your year-end letter

An old client of mine used to send out a wonderful year-end holiday letter. It would always contain the adventures of her four-footed friends Timber and Josie, herself, and the states that she and her husband had “knocked off” their list.  

You see, after they had achieved the goal of climbing all of New Hampshire’s “4,000 footers”, they became antsy for another goal—one that involved the two of them and would be exciting and enjoyable to accomplish.

They decided it would be a fun and interesting way to see the country if they set a goal to visit and spend at least one night in each of the 50 states. They posted up a map of the United States in their den and the fun began. 

I always loved to receive this letter to see how their goal and vision was being lived, what states they had pinned, and what adventures they had in each state.

As we start this brand-new year, we tend to think about what it might contain, asking the question…I wonder how this year will go down?

How to make your dreams come true this year.

Do you realize that you have more power than you think over your own 2022 destiny and how you’ll make your dreams come true? YOU DO! 

Take the challenge:

We call it creating your own “Destination Postcard”. It can also be framed as your own year-end holiday letter. It’s a way to share with yourself how you want to feel, what you want to do, and what changes you want to make this coming year. 

As you know from our last blog, I am not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, yet I am a fan of the power of thought and visualization.

That’s one reason I’m also a fan of journaling. Here are some of the other benefits of journaling. 

Are you willing to take a few minutes to “see and feel” YOUR 2022? To actually visualize what it will feel and look like when you sit back with a cup of coffee on December 31, 2022 and reminisce about your past year?

It’s so easy for our days to slip by.  Do you ever wonder where a week or month went as you pause long enough to think back? Isn’t it true that more often than not, you can’t even remember what you’ve done?

Without taking time to form intentions and think about what you want to do, feel, or experience, the likelihood of you doing, feeling, or experiencing anything at all disappear. 

An exercise in visualization.

An exercise I do a lot is one involving talking out events, in present tense, that have yet to come. I talk about how a future event turned out, with embodied excitement and joy. It has helped me release any stress about an upcoming situation and enter it with calmness and confidence.  

How to start.I remember how…I remember when…It was so exciting to…It felt so amazing to…

Here is an example of what I think about as I contemplate the end of 2022.

“I remember how easy it was to start taking the time to write my next book, and feeling so great that I did it because it is done!   It is being edited and I have a publishing contract all signed and sealed!  The Body Joyful Revolution has topped 1000 members and there is great engagement going in there!  The Body Joyful sold over 3,000 copies this year which is fantastic, because the book is impacting lives.  I have a club in clubhouse that has impacted our business in lots of great ways. My days are filled with coaching, writing, walking the beach and creating podcast episodes through clubhouse”

This might be something else that could be written….

“It has felt so amazing to really start changing the way I see myself this year. I have finally stopped beating myself up and have been accepting and actually appreciative of who I am! It has been the best year, I am treating myself better, enjoying more dancing and hiking, eating new and interesting foods that feel and taste good, and doing things I would not have dared to do before…I have so much more energy and confidence. I look in the mirror and smile know.  A year ago, I would not have thought that was possible.  It has been an amazing year.”

What would you like to do, feel, or experience this year? 

Take some time this week to sit down and write yourself an end-of-year holiday letter or destination postcard, outlining how you made your dreams come true. Write it as if you are dictating on December 31, 2022. Read it often, post it somewhere, or schedule to send it to yourself every month.  

I can’t wait to hear how your 2022 was. Mine has been fantastic!

Want to be part of a community making their dreams come true too?  Click here to join the Body Joyful Revolution!  A community of women, regardless of weight, size or shape empowering other themselves and women to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies! 

 

The post How to make 2022 your best year yet? Create a destination postcard! appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

How to make 2022 your best year yet!

2021 is almost a memory.  How was your 2021?  Have you asked yourself that?   If not, go here to ask yourself some important questions to move into 2022 with some added wisdom! 

I am reposting this blog, because every year we deserve a re-due!  2021 turned out to be another crazy year all around.  So, let’s all do this again.  Things have changed.  We have all had the opportunity to take a step back and look at our lives from a different perspective.  What did you learn about you last year?  About what is important to you?  Why not take that information and put it to good use! 

Your year-end letter

An old client of mine used to send out a wonderful year-end holiday letter. It would always contain the adventures of her four-footed friends Timber and Josie, herself, and the states that she and her husband had “knocked off” their list.  

You see, after they had achieved the goal of climbing all of New Hampshire’s “4,000 footers”, they became antsy for another goal—one that involved the two of them and would be exciting and enjoyable to accomplish.

They decided it would be a fun and interesting way to see the country if they set a goal to visit and spend at least one night in each of the 50 states. They posted up a map of the United States in their den and the fun began. 

I always loved to receive this letter to see how their goal and vision was being lived, what states they had pinned, and what adventures they had in each state.

As we start this brand-new year, we tend to think about what it might contain, asking the question…I wonder how this year will go down?

How to make your dreams come true this year.

Do you realize that you have more power than you think over your own 2022 destiny and how you’ll make your dreams come true? YOU DO! 

Take the challenge:

We call it creating your own “Destination Postcard”. It can also be framed as your own year-end holiday letter. It’s a way to share with yourself how you want to feel, what you want to do, and what changes you want to make this coming year. 

As you know from our last blog, I am not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, yet I am a fan of the power of thought and visualization.

That’s one reason I’m also a fan of journaling. Here are some of the other benefits of journaling. 

Are you willing to take a few minutes to “see and feel” YOUR 2022? To actually visualize what it will feel and look like when you sit back with a cup of coffee on December 31, 2022 and reminisce about your past year?

It’s so easy for our days to slip by.  Do you ever wonder where a week or month went as you pause long enough to think back? Isn’t it true that more often than not, you can’t even remember what you’ve done?

Without taking time to form intentions and think about what you want to do, feel, or experience, the likelihood of you doing, feeling, or experiencing anything at all disappear. 

An exercise in visualization.

An exercise I do a lot is one involving talking out events, in present tense, that have yet to come. I talk about how a future event turned out, with embodied excitement and joy. It has helped me release any stress about an upcoming situation and enter it with calmness and confidence.  

How to start.I remember how…I remember when…It was so exciting to…It felt so amazing to…

Here is an example of what I think about as I contemplate the end of 2022.

“I remember how easy it was to start taking the time to write my next book, and feeling so great that I did it because it is done!   It is being edited and I have a publishing contract all signed and sealed!  The Body Joyful Revolution has topped 1000 members and there is great engagement going in there!  The Body Joyful sold over 3,000 copies this year which is fantastic, because the book is impacting lives.  I have a club in clubhouse that has impacted our business in lots of great ways. My days are filled with coaching, writing, walking the beach and creating podcast episodes through clubhouse”

This might be something else that could be written….

“It has felt so amazing to really start changing the way I see myself this year. I have finally stopped beating myself up and have been accepting and actually appreciative of who I am! It has been the best year, I am treating myself better, enjoying more dancing and hiking, eating new and interesting foods that feel and taste good, and doing things I would not have dared to do before…I have so much more energy and confidence. I look in the mirror and smile know.  A year ago, I would not have thought that was possible.  It has been an amazing year.”

What would you like to do, feel, or experience this year? 

Take some time this week to sit down and write yourself an end-of-year holiday letter or destination postcard, outlining how you made your dreams come true. Write it as if you are dictating on December 31, 2022. Read it often, post it somewhere, or schedule to send it to yourself every month.  

I can’t wait to hear how your 2022 was. Mine has been fantastic!

Want to be part of a community making their dreams come true too?  Click here to join the Body Joyful Revolution!  A community of women, regardless of weight, size or shape empowering other themselves and women to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies! 

 

The post How to make 2022 your best year yet! appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.

What the heck is a Release-O-Lution?

Every January 1, we always hear the same thing… “This year my resolutions are…(fill in the blank).”  and it always revolves around weight, food, eating or exercise with the women that I work with.  And we know that dieting, restricting and over exercising DO NOT WORK!  

So, needless to say, within a few weeks or months, the new “plan” has been thrown in the trash. If the resolution had worked, we wouldn’t have to keep making the same resolutions over and over again! 

A few years ago, I started experimenting with “New Year’s Resolutions”. 

Instead of looking forward and seeing what I wanted to change, I began to think back on my year to see what I want to shift, or what I want to release instead. (Check out the top 10 year-end questions blog here). What thoughts, behaviors, or activities have moved me away from being happy, joyful, and content? 

Did you know that over 85% of the population fail their New Year’s resolutions within the first 5 weeks of the new year? With this in mind, my release-O-lutions were born.  

What is a Release-O-Lution?

It’s the process of letting go of something in your life that clutters it up, frustrates you, brings you down, puts you in a shameful or blameful place, depresses you, makes you anxious, etc.

Things you might release include:    

Regrets: I should have…If I only…Why didn’t I just…I wish I had…Physical items that promote feelings of failure, sadness, anxiety:That pair of jeans in your closet, that don’t fit. The old box of  “when I lose the weight” clothes.A case of Slim-Fast in your basement.That shelf of diet books in your living room.The scale in your bathroom that has the power to tell you how to feel about yourself.Assumptions: I am not smart (or thin, successful, happy) enough.No one likes me.I don’t have what it takes.I am always messing up.I can’t do anything right.It doesn’t matter anyway.I am not good enough.

 

Start with one thing.  Release just one assuming thought, one physical item, or one regret.  

This is about taking a stand and making a hard choice. “I choose to not let what others think about me define who I am or bring me down”  or  “I choose to forgive myself for making that mistake last year” (or 10 years ago!)

My experience with Release-O-Lutions.

This last year I decided to finally let go of the “should have’s” I have continued to think about in regards to certain conversations I did not handle the way I wish I had.  Every time I thought about them, my mind would go back to “Why did I say that? Why didn’t I say it like this?  Why am I so stupid”.  I would re-live the experience, along with the emotions and the feelings.  

I paid the price of regret and sadness when it happened, yet each time I thought about it, I would pay the price of pain, sadness, frustration and disappointment with myself over and over again.  I had to start to ask myself, when had I suffered the pain enough?

This negative self-talk regret is something a lot of us face. Here are 3 tips for more positive self-talk.

Enough was enough. The thoughts were keeping me stuck in the past.  It was time to look at what I had control over and what I didn’t.  I took responsibility for myself and my actions and stepped forward in my truth.

Do I mess up sometimes? Yes.   Does beating myself up over my mistakes serve me? No.

The assumptions and self-deprecating thoughts lowered my self-esteem, my self-worth, and my value. 

Choosing a new path.

I made the choice to change, take responsibility for my mistakes, and move on.  

How long do you want to hold onto things in your closet that make you feel unworthy or thoughts about yourself that hold you back and label you as unworthy? 

Releasing is a proactive choice about becoming aware of how your thoughts or your physical environment (like the clothes in your closet) make you feel about yourself, and then making a choice: To hold on or let go.  

What will you be releasing in 2022 to find more joy, happiness, and contentment in your life?

Would you like company on your journey?  Join the Body Joyful Revolution!  A community of women empowering women to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies and their decisions.  There are exclusive tips and resources there too, to help you on your journey. Join us in the Body Joyful Revolution Here

Updated blog post from 12/21/2020

 

 

The post What the heck is a Release-O-Lution? appeared first on Shaping Perspectives.