E.G. Bella's Blog, page 23

The Four Temperaments: An Overview

I love learning about personalities.

People are absolutely fascinating to me, and I will jump at each and every opportunity to learn more about the different ways they think. And any chance to better understand my own heart and mind as well is one I’m glad for.

Over the years, I’ve found many studies on personalities and temperaments insightful. While the ones that have positively impacted my relationships the most are the Myers–Briggs/16 Personalities (I’m an INFP-T), the Enneagram (type 2w1), and Love Languages (Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch), I’m always up for researching other credible studies too.

Such as my most recent topic of study: the Four Temperaments.

This way of studying temperaments (which are the God-given wirings that display themselves through our personalities) has been around for about two thousand years, since hundreds of years before Jesus lived on earth. It originated with Hippocrates, who believed there were four categories of human traits and behaviors, and has since been used in many other modern personality profiles.

I remember briefly learning about this system years ago, but as I’ve been researching it more and more, I’ve found its simple but expansive way of explaining the reasons behind why people act invaluable. With the insights I’ve gained, I’ve noticed changes in my responses to others. I’ve found it easier to understand them, and to treat them in the ways they most want to be treated.

Many people dislike personality profiling systems like this, and I can understand why. They can seem far too narrow. Too clear-cut. Real people are intricate and complicated and never exactly the same as anyone else. And that’s very true! No one will ever fit perfectly inside any of the personality or temperament types out there.

But in my own experience, there’s always something helpful that can be learned from these profiles. If nothing else, simply talking to others about it, and finding out what does and doesn’t describe them, is an excellent way to get to know someone better.

In my own family, we have each of the four temperaments prominently displayed. As we’ve been learning more about them, I’ve found it fascinating how accurate they are. Not in every detail of course, but in all the major ways, and in most of the smaller details as well. With my own primary temperament, almost all of it describes exactly how I think, feel, and respond to life.

The more I study human behaviors and personalities, the more I’m amazed by how beautifully complex we are – and how much more so our Creator is. Through studying personalities in numerous ways, and layering the findings from each, we get mere glimpses of just how expansive and intricate we each are. I find it breathtaking.

So today, I thought I’d share with you a bit about the Four Temperaments system, with the hopes that you might find it as fascinating and insightful as my family and I have. Come June, I plan to put out a series of more in-depth posts regarding each temperament, but for now, here’s an overview of them all.

It’s worth noting that no one fits entirely in one temperament. Most people have one dominant/primary personality that they relate to or default to almost all the time, and then a secondary one that compliments the dominant. Together, the combination makes up most the strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, and motivations of your personality.

For example, I’m a primary Melancholic and a secondary Phlegmatic. Those two temperaments are by far the strongest for me, with the other two temperaments virtually nonexistent in the rankings, haha. Some people with have one primary temperament and several secondary ones that are about the same in strength. And there will always be one that you just don’t relate to much at all – the opposite of your primary temperament.

But no matter what your temperament is, learning to understand yourself and others better will lead to greater communication, deeper relationships, and more meaningful interactions. When you understand how to best make others feel valued, you can skip the things that don’t build them up, and go straight to the things that mean the most to them.

And being more aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and motivations will help you to recognize where you shine best, grow in your weakest areas, and be aware of the situations that require extra care. That’s what it’s done for me. And I’d love for you to have that knowledge too.

Now, before we jump into the overviews for each type, here are explanations for each of the categories listed:

Their Primary “Language”:

Each of the temperaments has a different primary “language” that they speak. This language includes the areas you most excel in, where you naturally focus your time and energy toward. While you can learn to speak the other languages (one good reason to become familiar with others’ temperaments!), you will always fall back on your own primary language. That’s where you function at your best.

Extroverted or Introverted?

Contrary to popular belief, being extroverted doesn’t make you a popular social butterfly, and being introverted doesn’t make you a timid recluse. While certain temperaments do often lend themselves to those traits, there are plenty of socially awkward extroverts and outgoing introverts. Extroversion vs introversion actually relates to how you process information and emotions.

Being extroverted simply means that you direct your thoughts and feelings outward. Extroverts tend to process their thoughts and feelings by speaking.

Introverts direct their thoughts and feelings inward. Being introverted means you will usually process your thoughts and feelings before speaking.

People-oriented or Task-oriented?

If you’re people-oriented, your natural inclination will be toward fostering relationships.

If you’re task-oriented, your natural inclination will be toward accomplishing things.

No matter their temperament, everyone does plenty of both. But what’s your first tendency?

Common Strengths:

These are just like they sound – the ways that each temperament shine brightest.

Common Weaknesses:

Again, self-explanatory – these are the ways that each temperament struggle most.

Core Needs:

Every temperament has core needs – deep longings – that they need to have filled in order to feel valued. While every human shares the most basic emotional needs, such as the need to be loved, certain other needs rank much higher in some temperaments than others.

Manipulate With:

When those core needs aren’t being filled, each temperament naturally falls back on certain methods and behaviors in an attempt to have those desires met.

And with those things clarified, let’s head down to the personality overviews. Read through them with an open mind and see which one/s resonate deepest with you. You might be surprised!

Sanguine

Their Primary “Language”:
People and Fun

Extroverted or Introverted?
Extroverted

People-oriented or Task-oriented?
People-oriented

Common Strengths:
~ Active
~ Adventurous
~ Charismatic
~ Cheerful
~ Curious
~ Easy to talk to
~ Encouraging
~ Enthusiastic
~ Great storyteller
~ Popular

Common Weaknesses:
~ Can’t remember names
~ Compulsive talker
~ Disorganized
~ Dramatic
~ Forgetful and scatterbrained
~ Impulsive
~ Loud voice and laugh
~ Makes excuses
~ Naïve
~ Self-centered

Core Needs:
~ Approval (being liked for who they are)
~ Acceptance (being invited and included)
~ Attention (having your full focus)
~ Affection (being noticed or acknowledged)

Manipulate With:
~ Charm (elaborating or exaggerating; being over the top)
~ Flattery (phony or excessive praise of others)

Summary:

Optimistic and popular, Sanguines are adventurous people-pleasers with a love for fun and activity. They excel at including and encouraging others, and are often the life of the party. With their boundless energy, they can be overwhelming, disorganized, and quick to make excuses for their sloppy behavior. They’ll never meet someone they can’t befriend, and will easily fill a room with conversation and laughter.

Choleric

Their Primary “Language”:
Power and Control

Extroverted or Introverted?
Extroverted

People-oriented or Task-oriented?
Task-oriented

Common Strengths:
~ Can control emotions in emergencies
~ Confident
~ Disciplined
~ Dynamic leader
~ Independent and self-sufficient
~ Logical
~ Not easily discouraged
~ Persuasive
~ Practical
~ Responsible

Common Weaknesses:
~ Can’t relax
~ Demanding of others
~ Decides for others
~ Dislikes tears and emotions
~ Doesn’t listen
~ Dominates
~ Enjoys arguments
~ Impatient
~ Prideful
~ Quick-tempered

Core Needs:
~ Loyalty (knowing you have their back)
~ Sense of Control (everyone doing what they’re supposed to)
~ Appreciation (being valued for their strengths)
~ Credit for Work (being valued for their contributions)

Manipulate With:
~ Tone (harsh comments)
~ Volume (angry outbursts)

Summary:
Driven and confident, Cholerics are natural-born leaders with a knack for getting things done and encouraging others to be their best selves. They are responsible and decisive, and aren’t easily discouraged by setbacks. If things don’t go as they want, they can also be bossy, impatient, and quick-tempered. At their best, they’re energized by challenges, and will approach any difficulty with a purpose and plan.

Phlegmatic

Their Primary “Language”:
Calm and Harmony

Extroverted or Introverted?
Introverted

People-oriented or Task-oriented?
People-oriented

Common Strengths:
~ Can recognize all sides of issues
~ Compassionate
~ Diplomatic
~ Easygoing and relaxed
~ Good under pressure
~ Likeable
~ Listens well
~ Patient
~ Quiet and witty
~ Supportive

Common Weaknesses:
~ Doubtful
~ Fearful
~ Hard to get moving
~ Messy
~ Mumbles
~ No sense of urgency
~ Resents being pushed
~ Selfish
~ Self-righteous
~ Stubborn

Core Needs:
~ Harmony (everyone getting along)
~ Feeling of Worth (being valued for their strengths)
~ Lack of Stress (an absence of conflict)
~ Respect (being asked for their thoughts and opinions)

Manipulate With:
~ Procrastination (delaying or ignoring responsibilities)
~ Stubbornness (refusing to converse or compromise)

Summary:
Calm and compassionate, Phlegmatics are natural negotiators, and will always seek to keep the peace. They’re loyal friends, great team players, and often shepherd leaders. Often, they’re prone to sluggishness, indecision, and fear or worry. Their warm, easygoing, and inviting nature constantly draws others to them and they’ll always find a way to support and care for others.

Melancholic

Their Primary “Language”:
Perfection and Order

Extroverted or Introverted?
Introverted

People-oriented or Task-oriented?
Task-oriented

Common Strengths:
~ Deep friendships, quality over quantity
~ Detailed and accurate
~ Empathetic
~ Musical, artistic
~ Perfectionist
~ Philosophical and thoughtful
~ Self-sacrificing
~ Sensitive to others
~ Sincere
~ Works well alone

Common Weaknesses:
~ Fears failure
~ Feelings of guilt
~ Guarded
~ Hard to please
~ Insecure socially
~ Low self-image
~ Off in another world
~ Pessimistic
~ Remembers the negatives
~ Suspicious and/or skeptical

Core Needs:
~ Safety (being able to trust their surroundings and relationships)
~ Sensitivity (being understood)
~ Support (being offered or provided help)
~ Space and Silence (having time to decompress, process, or think)

Manipulate With:
~ Silence (being judgmental, critical, or self-deprecating)
~ Moodiness (being disengaged, or unwilling to talk to or hear from others)

Summary:
Deep and sensitive, Melancholics are creative perfectionists with a tendency to serve in the background. They’re detailed, respectful, idealistic, and empathetic, and usually work best alone. Insecure socially, they’re often self-deprecating, withdrawn and guarded, and can be critical and hard to please. Their quiet natures make them good listeners, and they’ll do just about anything to help others.

Did you discover your primary temperament – or do you at least have a good idea? How about secondary – was there another temperament that spoke deeply to you, just not quite as much? From my own experience, it can be very humbling and uncomfortable to admit so many of our deepest thoughts and motivations. Being that vulnerable is always hard.

But it’s also the way to deeper relationships. Understanding and seeking to support others in the way they need is a blessing and a privilege. Every day, every conversation, we have many chances to build one another up – or to tear one another down. My prayer is that we’d each be able to be builders, encouragers, and supporters to everyone we interact with.

If you found this interesting and/or helpful, stay tuned for June, where I’ll be going in-depth with each temperament, and discussing the best ways to be a blessing to each. I look forward to seeing you then!

Do not let any unwholesome talk
come out of your mouths, 
but only what is helpful for building others up 
according to their needs,
that it may benefit those who listen.
(Ephesians 4:29 NIV)

1.One of my favorite resources for the Four Temperaments is the I Said This, You Heard That program. You can find many of their videos and resources here. (Much of the information in this post is from their teachings).

2. Another helpful way of learning how to relate to others…I discussed some of the love languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Quality Time) here.

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

52 MORE Relatable Quotes About Writing

Hello and happy Wednesday!

Last month, I shared fifty-two other quotes about writing that I found inspiring, helpful, and/or entertaining. You can find that post here.

Ah, writing…

That quaint endeavor that can take even the most sane person and transform her into a bizarre creature that spends hours in a room by herself, listening to the voices in her head, and memorizing every crack and shade of paint on the wall in front of her.

At any given moment, she may swing from venting about the difficulties of writing and swearing to quit it forever, to gushing about how she figured out her plot twist and that writing is the most important thing anyone can ever do.

I adore it.

Ask me in five minutes and I might tell you something different. But right now, I truly do love it. And sooner or later, I always come right back to loving it.

As one of my favorite TV show characters likes to say, “It’s a gift, and a curse,”1 and I consider myself very blessed to get to use it. It’s just that sometimes, I need some reminders about why I’m writing, and that I’m not alone in all the hair-pulling, energy-draining wonderfulness.

Today, I’m back with fifty-two more (another year’s worth if you read one weekly, haha) quotes about writing, with the hopes that they inspire, motivate, encourage, and entertain – and that they help you stop and think about what writing really is. Just like they do for me.

1. “You can fix anything but a blank page.”
(Nora Roberts)

2. “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”
(Terry Pratchett)

3. “Anyone who says writing is easy isn’t doing it right.”
(Amy Joy)

4. “You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you, and we edit to let the fire show through the smoke.”
(Arthur Plotnik)

5. “The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It’s not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.”
(Augusten Burroughs)

6.“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.”
(Dr. Seuss)

7. “You fail only if you stop writing.”
(Ray Bradbury)

8. “A writer is a world trapped in a person.”
(Victor Hugo)

9. “For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word.”
(Catherine Drinker Bowen)

10. “Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.”
(Margaret Chittenden)

11.“The task of a writer consists of being able to make something out of an idea.”
(Thomas Mann)

12. “A writer never has a vacation. For a writer life consists of either writing or thinking about writing.”
(Eugene Ionesco)

13. “I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”
(Anne Frank)

14. “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”
(Robin Williams)

15. “Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.”
(Aldous Huxley)

16. “You can make anything by writing.”
(C.S. Lewis)

17. “Find your best time of the day for writing and write. Don’t let anything else interfere. Afterwards it won’t matter to you that the kitchen is a mess.”
(Esther Freud)

18. “To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme.”
(Herman Melville)

19. “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter — ’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”
(Mark Twain)

20. “The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you’re allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it’s definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it ­honestly, and tell it as best you can. I’m not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter.”
(Neil Gaiman)

21.“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”
(C. S. Lewis)

22. “If the book is true, it will find an audience that is meant to read it.”
(Wally Lamb)

23. “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.”
(Martin Luther)

24.“My aim in constructing sentences is to make the sentence utterly easy to understand, writing what I call transparent prose. I’ve failed dreadfully if you have to read a sentence twice to figure out what I meant.”
(Ken Follett)

25. “Good fiction’s job is to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”
(David Foster Wallace)

26. “There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”
(Frank Herbert)

27. “All stories have to at least try to explain some small portion of the meaning of life.”
(Gene Weingarten)

28.“Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”
(Jane Yolen)

29. “Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”
(E. L. Doctorow)

30. “Forget all the rules. Forget about being published. Write for yourself and celebrate writing.”
(Melinda Haynes)

31. “A writer has the duty to be good, not lousy; true, not false; lively, not dull; accurate, not full of error. He should tend to lift people up, not lower them down. Writers do not merely reflect and interpret life, they inform and shape life.”
(E.B. White)

32. “You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.”
(John Wooden)

33. “Writing is often the process by which you realize that you do not understand what you are talking about.”
(Shane Parrish)

34. “The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
(Tom Clancy)

35. “Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.”
(Mark Twain)

36. “I try to leave out the parts that people skip.”
(Elmore Leonard)

37. “Hard writing makes easy reading. Easy writing makes hard reading.”
(William Zinsser)

38. “Words are containers for power, you choose what kind of power they carry.”
(Joyce Meyer)

39. “To write something you have to risk making a fool of yourself.”
(Anne Rice)

40. “The work never matches the dream of perfection the artist has to start with.”
(William Faulkner)

41. “A writer without interest or sympathy for the foibles of his fellow man is not conceivable as a writer.”
(Joseph Conrad)

42. “Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”
(Cyril Connolly)

43. “Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don’t see any.”
(Orson Scott)

44. “Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.”
(Louis L’Amour)

45. “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”
(Anne Lamott)

46. “Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”
(Barbara Kingsolver)

47. “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”
(Anton Chekhov)

48. “If you write what you yourself sincerely think and feel and are interested in, the chances are very high that you will interest other people as well.”
(Rachel Carson)

49. “In writing. Don’t use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was “terrible,” describe it so that we’ll be terrified. Don’t say it was “delightful”; make us say “delightful” when we’ve read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers, “Please will you do my job for me.”
(C.S. Lewis)

50. “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader – not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”
(E.L. Doctorow)

51. “We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”
(Ernest Hemingway)

52. “I want to write so well that a person is thirty or forty pages in a book of mine…before she realizes she’s reading.”
(Maya Angelou)

As I said last month, reading and writing are truly huge gifts. We’re very blessed to have the opportunity to use them – either while reading stories that move and touch us in many ways, or by writing stories that hopefully do the same. I’m very grateful for the chance to do both.

Did you relate to any of these quotes today? Were any of them especially helpful or inspiring – or just plain amusing? Go ahead and let me know YOUR favorites in the comments, as well as if there is a certain topic you’d like to see more quotes about. While you’re there, I’d love to hear any writing quotes you have to share!

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
(Psalm 86:12 NIV)

1.The character I referred to is Adrian Monk, from the older detective show, Monk.

2. I shared more of my quote collection in many previous posts, which you can find here.

3. To receive your own printable pages of the above quotes (and the ones used in my other ‘Quotes’ posts), sign up for my email list! Simply fill in the form here, and I’ll send you PDF copies of the quote collections – as well as an inspirational short story. I look forward to hearing from you!

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

What I’m Learning About Rest

Exhaustion.

Just reading that word makes me want to yawn. The dictionary defines exhaustion as, ‘a state of extreme physical or mental fatigue,’ or, ‘the action or state of using something up or of being used up completely.’ It’s a word that communicates weariness of the highest degree.

I think we all know what it feels like to be exhausted physically. We’re drained. Sluggish. Shaky, slow, and ready to collapse onto the nearest surface. Sometimes we’re so tired that we actually have a hard time falling asleep. We just don’t have any energy left in us.

And we’ve all been exhausted emotionally, as well. It’s the same feeling. The same struggle. We’re so drained, weary, and empty of energy. It’s difficult to do the things we normally enjoy, or that we need to do – much less muster up the strength to try new things, or do things we’re uncomfortable with.

Only, unlike physical exhaustion, sleep isn’t enough to make that weariness go away.

Emotional exhaustion gets deeper and deeper. The more stressful situations in our lives, the more intense that pressure grows. The more drained we feel. Because we feel drained, we’re too exhausted to try to ease that pressure. And because we feel helpless to change anything, we feel even more exhausted.

It’s a vicious cycle. And if something doesn’t change, it can swallow us whole.

I’m a very task-oriented person. Sitting still when I have things to do is very difficult for me, and if I’m not accomplishing something I think is productive I feel antsy and anxious. My mind dwells on everything I should be doing at that moment, and I usually end up stressing myself out. Feeling like I’m falling behind.

When I actually do fall behind, it hits me very hard. The guilt of, “I should have this done by now,” makes it hard to focus on actually accomplishing that task, and then I feel guiltier because I’m ‘wasting’ more time. And even my relaxation usually needs to be spent doing something I feel is productive.

Most of the time, accomplishing something is more relaxing to me than if I take time off and just ‘have fun’. Especially if I’m behind in my tasks.

In most social situations, I feel far more at ease interacting with people if I’m doing something at the same time. I struggle with not knowing what to say to others, so you can usually find me in the background – decorating, cleaning up, washing dishes, or doing something else that I feel is helpful.

Most the time it’s just easier to listen. I’m that person that tends to creep people out with how much I know about them, even if we’ve never even talked before, ha. I don’t mean to, but when you spend so much time listening and watching, you learn a lot.

And on the flip side, when you don’t take time to listen or watch, you miss a lot.

So far in 2021, I’ve kept myself very busy. Not as busy as a lot of people, I know, but still, trying to find the right balance of all the different aspects of my life has been a challenge. When I can’t keep up with everything, what can I delay or set aside?

Unfortunately, the thing that I’ve delayed most often has been the thing I need most: my time with God.

I know that I should never let anything come between me and God. And still, I’ve always managed to find some excuse to justify putting off my time with Him… “I’ll have more time later.” “I just can’t focus right now.” “He doesn’t want to spend time with me when I’m so out of it.” “Why would I make Him listen to my whining?”

When I want to justify something, I’ll find a way to do it.

And yet, rarely do I ever get back to that time with God. Most of the time I can’t finish all the tasks I lined up for my day, and if I do, then I’m too exhausted or still too preoccupied to focus on prayer or Bible study. Every night I’ll climb into bed intending to pray for a while, and every morning I’ll wake with foggy memories of several half-hearted phrases that I managed before falling asleep.

I am embarrassingly thick sometimes. Even when I know something in my head, God tends to need to knock it into my heart repeatedly, because I just won’t accept it the first forty (or four-hundred) times. I pray that I’ll improve at learning faster, but right now, I am so grateful to serve a God that doesn’t give up on me. One that doesn’t abandon me when I disappoint or frustrate Him. One that will stop at nothing to make sure I learn the lesson – even if it involves pain – so I can reap the blessings later.

This past month has been rough. In addition to the everyday roller coaster of life, and also greatly missing a dear friend1, I mistakenly thought I could take on far more in a short period of time than is practical – or perhaps even possible. And with every new obligation, goal, or project that I agreed to take up, or imposed upon myself, I felt that emotional pressure growing…that exhaustion seeping further and further into me.

Not all those projects are necessary, and I could probably cancel or postpone some of them. But when I set out to do something, it’s extremely hard for me to back out. If I do, I feel I’ve failed. Maybe it’s pride. Maybe it’s plain stubbornness. Likely, it’s both of those and more. Whatever it is, it’s draining.

And the more concerned I’ve been about making sure that I’m doing enough for everyone, the more I’ve justified pushing my time with God aside and promising to make up for it after I’m caught up. When I’ve needed that peace and rest that God provides more than ever, I’ve run from it. When the help I need is next to me, I’ve turned the other way.

Recently, I was blessed to attend a youth retreat as a helper with my church. While I contemplated a bit on whether it was a good idea to be ‘unproductive’ for an entire weekend, I finally agreed to go. As the dates approached, I grew more and more excited, hoping and praying for a major spiritual breakthrough that would leave me rejuvenated and enable me to be a huge – and helpful! – minister to all the kids and adults around me.

And then I spent the entire first day almost positive I’d made a mistake.

I didn’t know the location, any of the rules (the thought of accidentally breaking rules stresses me out, haha), most of the people, or exactly what I was supposed to be doing there. I wasn’t working there as staff, so I wasn’t expected to serve meals or set up activities or any of those things. But I was also there to help. Somehow.

Finding myself in that burst of uncertainty, and already feeling emotionally exhausted, left me very overwhelmed. Typically I can find something to help me feel more confident in those kinds of situations. At least enough that I can sum up the courage or energy to try making others comfortable. But to my frustration, I couldn’t find any of that.

I was very glad for the opportunity, and cherished the kindness that people were showing me, and yet I just felt far too exhausted to reciprocate. And that made me feel guilty, which made me more drained…and again, the cycle continued. Without any of my normal ‘crutches’ of familiar people, places, rules, privacy, schedule, or even meals to lean on, I found myself retreating into a ‘shell’; even quieter than normal.

Every ounce of mental energy was spent in prayer, practically begging God to show me how to find that rest I needed. That energy. That wisdom of how best to help the people I was around. How could I tell them that I wasn’t being quiet because I didn’t like being there, but because I felt useless?

Everywhere I looked, I saw people stepping outside their comfort zones, being outgoing, reaching out to the kids…and I felt too utterly tired to even smile much.

And nothing I did seemed to make any difference in my exhaustion. After all my prayers and hopes that the weekend would be a wake-up call for me, and that I’d be able to be a blessing to others, it felt like I was failing. I was sure I was disappointing not only myself, but the other youth leaders there as well. My frustration with myself grew.

And as usual, the moment I reached the end of myself, was the moment God took over.

I’d been praying for a huge breakthrough. A time where suddenly everything would click into place and my exhaustion would disappear. An ‘aha’ moment that would leave me feeling strong and confident and right at home in the midst of a new place and community.

Instead, I began to hear God speaking to me through countless little things.

Through the worship songs that morning (including one of my favorites: In Christ Alone2), through the teaching about rest and peace (centered around Matthew 11:28-30, which I’d meditated on for hours the previous night), through moving conversations and prayers with the other youth leaders, and through the slower-paced activities that allowed me to bond with the kids and not be preoccupied with rushing to keep up.

Little by little, I realized that I felt calmer. Stronger. More peaceful. I could take deeper breaths, smile more, and be more honest about my uncertainties. I was reminded of the different beauties and strengths of all personalities, and how each one was best suited for ministering to different people.

I gradually stopped making myself feel guilty that I wasn’t as outgoing and ‘fun’ as some of the other leaders there, and started watching for the opportunities to minister in the quieter ways that were natural to me. I still felt uncomfortable. I still felt tired and unsure about the best things to do and say. But I also started listening and watching closely for God’s lessons. His nudges in the right direction. His insights.

And I learned that my focus – while good-intentioned – was wrong. Rest isn’t about doing or not doing anything. It’s about being.

Being honest. Being available. Being willing, and vulnerable, and teachable. Being in a right place with God naturally leads to doing the right things.

When I tried to do or not do things based on what I thought was best, it only led to more desperation, stress, and exhaustion. And when I couldn’t summon the strength to do things that I thought I ought to, I just felt more distant from God. After all, I was trying to be a light for Him. I was trying to find the energy to reach out to the kids and encourage them. Why wasn’t He blessing me with an abundance of that?

He was blessing me with enough. And He was teaching me, through every conversation, song, smile, Scripture verse, and activity. As I turned my focus away from doing things for God and the kids, and focused instead on being close and available to God and the kids, I felt so much more peace. I felt far more rested, even with the constant physical activity and the late nights.

God showed me that while I can do a lot of things that I might think are helpful and pleasing to Him, unless I’ve taken the time to be in His presence and listen to what He actually desires, I’m only working myself ragged for nothing. I may even make things worse because I’m plowing ahead without His blessing.

It’s counter-intuitive for me to think that amazing things can be happening even as I rest. Even if I am not doing anything. Even if I feel lazy, or like I’m falling behind, or that I can’t further God’s kingdom without actually accomplishing something physical. But God is always working. And when we accept the invitation to enter His work – to work where He’s working and do what He’s doing – that’s where we find true rest.

What I’m finding more and more is that when I place God first in my life, everything else falls as it should around Him. Not everything is easy or lighthearted – far from it. But the only way we can truly be at rest is by being dependent on Him.

As I continue to seek His will before rushing straight to the tasks I’ve assigned myself, I find that I’m far more productive. Far more at peace. And I know that I’m making far more of an eternal difference than if I were to ‘save myself time’ and disregard those crucial moments with my Savior.

Without God’s guidance, it’s so easy to fall into one of the rest/work extremes. Either resting too much because it’s more comfortable, or too little because it’s ‘lazy’. Either working too much because it’s the ‘right thing to do’, or too little because it’s hard. But when being in constant and close communication with God is our focus, He will guide us into the perfect balance for our lives.

Our work will feel restful. Meaningful. Ideal for us. And we’ll know what to prioritize, what to refuse, what to accept, and what to avoid. Since God showed this to me again, I’ve been careful to prioritize Him above all else, and it’s made a world of difference.

When I feel anxiety and exhaustion creeping up on me again, I take a moment to pray and refocus my attention on Him, reminding myself that He is in control. That He knows the perfect balance for me. That He is walking with me every step of my life, helping me carry my burdens and accomplish what He wants me to accomplish.

I’m sure I will be continuing to relearn this lesson in deeper and deeper ways as time continues, but for now, I’m focusing on being rather than doing. Every day I’m choosing to be available to Him, to be willing to do what He asks, and to be open to the people and opportunities that He’s placing in my life.

It’s not a bad thing that I like to be productive, and that I enjoy working. God made me that way. But I need to remember that my accomplishments don’t equal my worth. My busyness doesn’t help others or please God if I’m too busy with just what I think is best. God knows exactly what I need to do and be. I’m looking forward to finding out more and more of those things every day.

And whether I’m active and sweating, or still and silent, I know I’ll be at rest – as long as my focus remains on God.

I pray you’ll be the same.

“Come to me, 
all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest. 
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. 
For my yoke is easy
and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

1.I talked about my friend here.

2. One version of In Christ Alone can be found here.

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

My Favorite Childhood Books

Hello and happy Wednesday!

This should not come as a surprise if you’ve been around my blog before, but I love reading. It’s come easily to me since the age of four, and I haven’t stopped reading since. Happy stories, sad stories, complicated stories, simple stories…nearly anything clean that I can get my hands on. I can’t imagine not reading books.

Recently, as I’ve been working on several different writing projects, I’ve gotten to thinking about the books that used to be my favorite growing up. The ones that sucked me in and kept me going back to the library, filling up bags of continuations in each series. The ones that first taught me about theme, about characters, and about stories that could feel so real I felt like I was truly a part of them.

Looking back, some of them weren’t anything amazingly written, but to young me, the quality of the prose itself or the intricacy of worldbuilding or plot construction didn’t matter. What mattered most was the same thing that still matters most to me: how real the characters felt and how I could relate to them. What they could teach me.

Through those characters, I learned about how people saw life, how others talked and felt around each other. I watched, fascinated, as those characters got to go on adventures that I felt involved in, simply by reading about it.

I believe all those stories were a huge part of why I started writing. The plots, characters, themes, and emotions they produced still stick with me to this day. Were they perfect? Far from it. But nevertheless, they – and countless other books I don’t have space to mention – meant a lot to me at the time.

So today, I thought I’d dash back in the past for a little bit and share what were some of my favorite books growing up. I hope you enjoy the glimpse at some of my old favorites, and I’d love to hear about yours as well!

American Girl by various authors

Shocker, I know, haha. This is probably the hugest series I dutifully read when I was younger. There were (and still are) so many different branches of the series, all centering around different main characters in various time periods. While it’s been years since I last looked into the books, for a long time I enjoyed sifting through the library shelves, searching for move volumes involving my favorite characters.

I don’t know what kinds of stories the company’s telling now, or what ‘American Girls’ their books are centered on at this point, but my very favorites were always the classic ones. Girls like Molly, Felicity, Kirsten, Kit, Addy, Samantha, and Josefina. Looking back, I’m pretty sure that’s where my love for historical fiction came from.

The glimpses the books offered into what life could have been like in different places and time periods fascinated me. I remember picturing myself in each girl’s place. How would I react? How would I fare? Would I have the strength, courage, grace, and compassion to do what those girls did? Yes, they were fictional people, but they taught me a lot. Those authors made the characters and settings feel so real – and I want to do the same with my own historical fiction.

Magic Tree House by Mary Pope Osborne

And these books were pure fuel for my young imagination. Again, I got to see glimpses into other places, time periods, and styles of life – and even delve into some myths and legends, such as stories involving King Arthur and Camelot. For quite a while, I’ll admit I wished we had a tree house in our yard, just so I could pretend to use it to travel to other times, haha.

I loved the relationship between Jack and Annie – and very much related to hyper, imaginative Annie – and remember thinking it was so neat that the stories combined ‘now’ with time periods from all over in history. Once again I got to wonder how I would respond in those situations. Would I do well being thrust next to a pterodactyl or into England at the time of William Shakespeare? What about in the middle of a twister in prairie-period Kansas?

And as fun as it was to witness Jack and Annie’s adventures, it was equally as educational. I learned a lot of things from those books – about history, animals, cultures, and the way things worked in each new time period – and I was continually sharing my findings with my family. I still remember many of the historical facts that I gleaned from those books. Fun and fascinating…they were winners to me!

Mandie by Lois Gladys Leppard

Perhaps you’re beginning to see a pattern in my favorite childhood books, haha. I certainly enjoyed historical fiction, and these books were yet more that I struggled to put down. The combination of a protagonist about my age, lovable side characters, an engrossing time period, and intriguing mystery plots in almost all the books kept me reading and re-reading them for years.

These books also hold some of my very first reading milestones – like the first time a book made me cry. To clarify, I don’t believe I’ve ever actually cried hard from a fiction book, but there are a handful of times that I’ve teared up, and one of those books made me tear up for the first time while reading. One of the main characters – my favorite character – was very injured and looked like he had died, and my poor heart just couldn’t take it.

When I started writing my own stories, I often drew favorite story elements from other books I’d read. For a while, Mandie came to mind most often. I thoroughly enjoyed how Mandie (while still prone to plenty of childish mistakes) was taught about and strived to obey God, how there were complicated mysteries to solve, how there was a large variety of loyal friends and family members helping her, and the way each character felt intricate and flawed and real. Human. Just how characters should be.

The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner

I have never – nor do I think I ever will at this point – read all of The Boxcar Children books, as there are at least one-hundred and fifty now. However, I did read a lot of them (out of order) from the library when I was younger, and especially enjoyed the first four. Yet another intriguing and interesting historical setting, more relatable and touching family/sibling relationships, and educational content as the children learned to survive on their own, and later turned to solving little mysteries.

One thing I’ve learned since reading all those favorite stories of my childhood is that mysteries in real life are not quite as common as those books make it seem, haha. At least not now, or if there are, not really ones that children can easily solve. But I really enjoyed getting to ‘solve’ the mysteries with the Boxcar children, and felt very proud the few times that I managed to correctly guess what happened before they did. That wasn’t the case often, but I felt like the cleverest detective in the world when it was.

The biggest things that always stood out to me about those books were how close the siblings were. Yes, they still fought and drove each other crazy – as siblings do – but when it came down to it, they all loved each other and would do anything to keep the rest safe and happy. In the first book, the way they all worked together and supported each other while surviving in the woods was my favorite part of the series. Their determination and resilience inspired me, and made me consider how I treated my own siblings.

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

I discovered this book after I grew a bit too old for the rest of the books mentioned above, but it was still a favorite during my childhood. For a long time I couldn’t even say why. My family thought – and still thinks – that I was nuts for voluntarily reading it over and over, haha, but I couldn’t help it. It’s a very sad book. But it also resonated with me. I believe it was the very first book that really made me stop and think about serious topics.

Mostly, Bridge to Terabithia made me think about death. That sounds very morbid, but it’s true. I hadn’t expected it to be brought up. I didn’t expect any part of the end, but it sucked me in and wouldn’t let go. I kept waiting for that character to come back – that there’d have been some mistake – and that everyone would have a happy ending after all. But she didn’t. Instead, I watched as the rest of the characters left behind wrestled with their grief.

Looking back now, I don’t agree with everything in the book – especially the mild swears sprinkled through the book, and the far more common misuses of the Lord’s name. But overall, I kept coming back to the story because it was real. It was painful and complicated and not everything tied up in neat bows by the end of it. People struggled and changed and helped each other and loved, and even though it’s not a Christian book, the main characters wrestled sometimes, as kids do, with the idea of God. With who He was. What He was like.

It broke my heart to think of them not knowing Him closely, and it opened my eyes to how a lot of people must feel in real life. Unsure. Scared. Hopeless. And yet, they do the best they can (which may include some truly beautiful actions). Not very long after I read Bridge to Terabithia, my brother1 passed from a sudden illness, and suddenly the events of the book made even more sense. They felt even more real. And the contrast between the characters, who didn’t know God’s comfort, and my family, who clung to Him, offered even more depth.

Interestingly enough, I learned years later that another of my favorite middle-grade books, Lyddie, about a young girl forced to work in a cotton mill to survive, was also written by Katherine Paterson, and I’d just never put two and two together. Needless to say, I’m a fan of Paterson’s writing style, and the way she’s created emotional and thought-provoking stories that felt so real to me. I hope to create emotions just as real with my books.

Well, those were some of my very favorite stories growing up! It seems like just yesterday I was curled up reading them… It’s crazy how well I still remember each one. This has been a fun and bittersweet trip down memory lane, and I hope you’ve enjoyed joining me for it!

What were YOUR favorite books growing up, and why? Let me know in the comments below! I look forward to learning about them!

1.I talked about my brother here.

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

A Servant’s Heart

What does it mean to be a servant?

What kind of things do you need to do to earn that title? Do you even want that title?

When I think of a servant, my mind usually goes straight to medieval times, and everything castle servants did. Scrub the dishes, wash the floors, milk the cows, muck out the stables, beat the carpets…Hard, dirty, thankless, and often mind-numbing work.

But of course, servants weren’t just around in medieval times. They’ve been around since the very beginning, and will continue to be. A servant can be anyone. It doesn’t matter their age, gender, race, culture, location, skillset, or personality.

Again, anyone can be a servant. All it takes is serving. Doing something for others, whether you’re reciprocated or not. It can look like raking a yard or shoveling a sidewalk. Making a meal or paying for someone’s groceries. Visiting someone ill or lending a listening ear.

It’s possible to serve others without a servant’s heart. To do things for others from selfish motives, or because we feel like we should or we have to. What can look like a selfless and loving act on the outside may actually be a grudging or detested deed inside. It’s arguable whether serving from rotten motives is actually better than not serving at all.

But while it’s possible to serve without a servant’s heart, it’s impossible to have a servant’s heart and not serve. Having a servant’s heart means that you like to serve. It doesn’t mean that you enjoy getting filthy, or sweaty, or that you consider your work to be fun (although it can). It means that your love for others, and your desire to do things for them, outweighs any inconveniences or discomfort.

When you have a servant’s heart, you may not like cooking – but you’ll gladly spend all day in the kitchen making desserts to sell at the fundraiser. You may not enjoy making conversation – but you’ll still volunteer to counsel others going through tough times. You may not want to exhaust and burn yourself – but you’ll spend your weekend helping repair houses in the hot sun anyway.

Because you know it’s worth it. Because you know that serving – that helping and caring for others – will bring far greater blessings to everyone involved than if you didn’t serve. Yes, you wouldn’t have gotten so tired. You would have had more time to yourself. You would have been more comfortable and avoided the pain and stress of hard work – whether physical or emotional.

But, in the end, those with servants’ hearts are the ones that are truly fulfilled.

I’ve known many people that model this. Family, friends, coworkers, teachers…it’s been such a blessing over the years to watch and experience their examples of servitude. No matter what it costs them, they will be there for you. If you need a meal, they’ll make it. If you need to talk, they’ll listen. And if you need your house painted, or your kids watched, or your dog walked, just call them up and they’ll be there. Often they’re helping before you even recognize that you need the help, or when you can’t muster the strength to ask.

The world needs more people like that. More people – more servants – following the ultimate example that Jesus set.

There’s no doubt that servitude is hard. It can be strenuous and uncomfortable, and it’s also very humbling. In my experience, it’s all too easy to shy away from serving others because the task is just too far ‘beneath me’. If I don’t want to do it, I can always find ‘reasons’ why someone else would be better for the job. Why I’m just not the right person.

But being a servant means that nothing is beneath you. I often find myself wanting to serve – as long as that servitude means recognition and provision and relatively little pain involved. I want the benefits without the back-breaking work. I want to feel good about how helpful I am without actually getting too invested.

I may call myself a servant, and fool myself into thinking that I have a servant’s heart, but when it comes down to it…am I really? Do I actually? Am I willing to do anything for another? Will I give up my comfort, my pride, and my wants for someone else’s benefit? Will I serve in the background, sweaty and drained and filthy, even if no one ever notices or thanks me?

Or will I turn away when the chance to serve is not in my comfort zone?

There are servants all around us, every day. Sometimes their work gets noticed by many, sometimes only by the person they served. Sometimes the work may be noticed, but the servant is not. Servants give much, but expect nothing. They will do all they can to help, even when there’s no way to repay them. Their concern and focus is not on themselves, but on others. On you. On me.

I wish I could say that I have a pure servant’s heart. But truthfully, I know I don’t yet. I want to have it, and I’m working very hard on developing one. But I’m still too proud. Too selfish. Too concerned with what I will get out of a hard task, or a draining conversation.

So far, I’m finding that the more I serve – whether I feel like it or not – the more I want to serve. The more I see how my actions and time bless others, the more I want to give them. The closer I draw to people that are hurting and seeking help, the more I discover that it doesn’t matter if there’s recognition or praise afterward. The serving is the reward.

Jesus knew this. There’s never been a greater Servant than the one who gave everything for us. If anyone could claim that dirty, hard, and draining tasks were below Him, He could. And yet, during His life on earth, He was the greatest example of servitude that there ever has been or will be.

He could have demanded his feet be washed, but instead He washed others’. He could have surrounded Himself with clean, wealthy, and well-respected people, but He chose to minister to the ill, the poor, and the outcast. He could have commanded an army of angels to take Him from the cross, but He chose to stay, to suffer, and to die. For us.

If that’s not servitude, than I don’t know what is.

And His is the example I’m learning to follow. You’ve probably heard the often-used question, “What would Jesus do?”. To me, it’s a crucial one. I know that Jesus is the ultimate example. That I’m meant to follow in His footsteps. And I’m currently striving to ask myself that question every time I’m faced with a decision whether to focus on myself or on others.

What would Jesus do?

I know He’d serve. I know He did serve. And I know He longs for me to do the same.

As I continue to seek Him, I know Jesus is working on my heart – molding it, forming it, and growing it. To make it into a true servant’s heart, just as His is. And I’m going to continue to choose to serve, even when I don’t feel like it. Even when I don’t see why I would, from a me-first standpoint. Even when I want to do anything else.

I’ve seen amazing things happen when people choose to serve, rather than be served. And I want to be one of those people. I want to develop my servant’s heart more and more with every day that passes.

Will you join me?

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served,
but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
(Mark 10:45 NIV)

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

17 Helpful Websites For Writers

Hello and happy Wednesday!

Have you ever needed advice?

For the sake of this post, let’s narrow it down to writing advice. Have you ever wondered what to do when you’re stuck in the middle of your story, how to develop strong writing habits, or which techniques for outlining or editing your story are most helpful?

Where do you go? Who do you typically turn to for those answers?

Writing is an incredible pursuit for many reasons, and one reason is that there’s not only one right way to write. What works best for one author may not work best for another, and one writer’s style is not going to be the same as other writers. And that’s okay! That’s where we get the amazing variety in the stories circulating the world today, and I think that’s such a blessing. God’s given us all different strengths, styles of writing, and stories to tell.

With that, I always cherish the opportunity to learn from other authors. In areas where I struggle, I can find help figuring out what works well for me and my stories. And in areas that I think I’m stronger in, I can always find additional tips, tricks, and thoughtful advice that help me understand those areas of writing even better.

In addition to the writing classes, courses, conferences, and books that I’ve absorbed, I’ve also learned a lot through some writing-focused websites. Their posts on everything from developing character voices to fine-tuning action scenes (and so much more!) have proven invaluable to me more times than I can count.

So today, I thought I’d share sixteen of my favorite websites and/or blogs for writers with you (just click their name to explore them)! I hope that they may encourage, inspire, and help you in the areas where you’re seeking advice, and I’d love to hear about your favorite writing resources as well!

Abbie Emmons

Abbie Emmons, YA author of 100 Days of Sunlight, has written a lot of articles regarding writing and productivity, as well as insights and tips into every aspect of indie publishing. I’ve enjoyed her friendly and honest writing style, and have often found that one piece of information I needed to break through a tricky spot in my story. She also posts weekly writing videos on her YouTube Channel!

A Writer’s Path

Once again, this site is home to hundreds of writing-related posts…from goal-setting tips, to things to consider before choosing character names, to advice for using plot devices like time-travel and fight scenes in your story. Though I haven’t read them all, haha, I’ve found their articles to be very helpful and thoughtfully written, and would definitely recommend checking out their blog.

Bryn Donovan

Not only does Bryn Donovan’s blog contain very helpful writing posts – such as how to write a synopsis, and some good examples of writing internal conflict – but her site also contains hundreds of writing prompts, historical and character name information (especially regarding European countries), and lists of publishers open to manuscript submissions. In addition, she’s also compiled extremely helpful lists of things like facial expressions, ways to describe pain, and physical descriptions.

Fiction University

This site is run by Janice Hardy, author of several well-acclaimed nonfiction (writing) and fiction books, and it has one of the largest libraries of writing advice posts I’ve ever found. In every category – from developing your novel to writing it to publishing it – you can read through dozens upon dozens of related articles. I wish I had time to read them all, but the many I have read have been extremely helpful for various aspects of my writing journey!

Go Teen Writers

This is a fantastic website, run by authors Stephanie Morrill, Jill Williamson, and Shannon Dittemore, and specifically aimed toward – you guessed it – teen writers. They have an extensive blog covering many writing topics, a collection of free downloads, and a YouTube channel, as well as two published books on writing and editing your novel. The authors are extremely sweet and encouraging, and their writing advice has been such a blessing!

Happy When Writing

This site, run by Madeline Bartson, was just recently brought to my attention – and I’m very glad! Though I haven’t managed to read too many of her posts yet, she has quite the collection of well-written articles on a broad range of writing-focused topics, and I’ve greatly enjoyed the ones I’ve read so far. You should go visit and see what you think!

Helping Writers Become Authors

Award-winning author, K. M. Weiland, runs this site, and I can’t recommend it highly enough! She has a vast library of blog posts on all sorts of writing topics – like the ones she’s doing now about Story Archetypes, extremely helpful freebie books, information on her published books (both fiction and nonfiction), and recommendations for resources writers may need. I’m very grateful for this site, and all the information I’ve gleaned from it!

Julia’s Creative Corner

Run by Julia Herkel, this is yet another fantastic site at which to find writing advice. I greatly appreciate her encouraging, honest, and insightful posts about all things writing, and also have enjoyed her well-written freebies, haha. No matter which of her articles I read, Julia always manages to leave me thinking deeply and newly inspired to work on my novels. Go ahead and head over – I bet it’ll do the same for you!

Kingdom Pen

With the goal of helping Christian authors tell stories that aren’t cliché, preachy, or dull – but instead captivating, powerful, and deep – Kingdom Pen is one of my very favorite writing sites. They’re passionate about helping authors grow in their craft, and in addition to extensive, well-written blog posts, they also share writing submissions by other talented authors they want to share with the world. For ongoing support and advice, you can apply to join their writing forum, too! I absolutely recommend you go check them out!

(I actually just received the blessing of getting to guest-post on their site last Friday! You can find my post, How Do You Know When You’re a Real Writer?, here.)

Jerry Jenkins

Jerry Jenkins, author of the Left Behind series (and many other fiction books), has filled his website with a huge amount of helpful writing posts, and time and time again I’ve found breakthroughs in my current projects from his information. With advice on outlining, writing, editing, writing habits, and publishing, and recommendations/reviews for all his favorite writing tools, this is definitely a site worth exploring. What are you waiting for?

Pro Story Builders

Run by talented author and blogger, Lauryn Trimmer, this site has proven helpful to me countless times in my writing process. Her blog has articles on overcoming jealousy of other writers, avoiding clichés, how to create solid story goals, and much more, as well as free download on how to create better characters. I highly recommend checking out her resources!

Scribes & Archers

This site is run by R. M. Archer, author of Peter Pan retelling Lost Girl (as well as other fiction works), and talented blogger and editor. On her site, you can find plenty of fascinating and inspiring blog posts – like her current Enneagram Writers series, fifteen short stories to read for free, information about her published and upcoming books, and even an editing service where you can hire her to edit your story! I highly recommend you check it out for yourself.

Story Embers

Story Embers is a site run by Christian authors whose mission is to inspire and empower others to write stories that are raw and real, and that touch others deeply. They have a blog full of incredibly insightful writing posts on many topics, a podcast, collections of submitted stories and poetry, and even a forum for writers to join. I have yet to not be moved by the care and prayer they put into each and every article. Go explore!

Teen Writers Nook

This site was created and is still run by three teen authors passionate about helping other young authors grow and thrive in their own writing journeys. As a result, they have a large library of helpful and encouraging posts, as well as guest posts, about just about every writing topic you can think of. If you’re a young writer, check them out! You won’t regret it.

The Write Practice

I just recently discovered this site, but as I’ve been working through the library of writing advice posts, I knew I had to include it in this list. While I haven’t read too many of them yet, there’s a huge number of posts on many different writing topics – and so far they’ve all been very helpful. In addition, you can check out their list of great resources for writers, where they recommend their favorite writing software, courses, and books. Check them out!

Wanderer’s Pen

Here is yet another site with an enormous collection of writing posts! From tips on worldbuilding to character development to editing to short stories – as well as some fascinating dissections of popular books and movies, there’s enough helpful content here to keep you busy for quite a while. In addition, the author, Victoria Grace Howell, has since moved to her new site here, and though there’s not nearly as much on there, if you enjoy learning about story from movies or games, there may be some content for you too!

Wild Writing Dreams

This is one of the most recent sites I discovered – and I’m so glad I did! Currently, I’m working through her collection of insightful and well-thought-out posts about writing and enjoying every one. From crafting sibling relationships to writing emotional dialogue, Mary has some fantastic tips for improving a story. I highly suggest you check out her blog!

And because I can’t help myself, here are a few honorary mentions. They’re not purely writing-focused, so don’t have quite as many writing advice posts, but I enjoy them very much and have found them quite insightful. I’d love for you to check them out!

Books by S. R.

This site is run by Savanna Roberts, talented author of the Robin-Hood retelling novel Thief (the first of a series), and a handful of other fiction works. On her blog you can find book reviews, writing tips, and publishing advice – and I’m currently enjoying her Prepping for Publication blog post series. I highly recommend her writing!

Julia Witmer

I first met Julia Witmer, author of A Wilted Willow, shortly before she launched her book last December, and have greatly enjoyed reading her reflective and inspirational posts since. On her blog, you can find writing tips, snippets of her own works, prayers, reviews for books and movies, and stories about her life as a MK (missionary kid). You should definitely go check out her content!

Joyful, Thankful, Blessed

This blog is run and written by S. J. Wunderlin, a very talented author and a dear friend who posts weekly with her thoughts, insights, and research into how to live a life that glorifies God and impacts others for the better. I look forward to her posts every Monday, and definitely recommend checking out her site! 2

Whimsical Wanderings

I’ve been very blessed by the sweet, helpful, and thoughtful posts Kristianne puts out on this website. From her book reviews, to her writing tips, to her stories of life as a MK (missionary kid), I’ve yet to read a post of hers that hasn’t touched or encouraged me in some way. You should absolutely go visit her!

Well, those are a few (actually twenty-one) of my favorite sites and blogs for writers! Each and every single one of them has taught me a lot about writing and I’m so thankful to have discovered them. I hope they’re as much of a help, encouragement, and inspiration for you as much as they have been for me!

What are some of YOUR favorite writing advice blogs or websites – and why? I’d love to find out! Go ahead and comment your favorites below, and I look forward to seeing them!

1.I was so grateful to have Julia guest-post on my site here, as well as receive a chance to guest-post on her site here. I also did a review of her book, A Wilted Willow, here.

2. Sierra blessed me by posting on my site – about Quality Time – here, and I was thrilled to get to guest-post on her site about abiding in Christ here.

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

10 Moving Quotes About Hope

It’s a hopeful time of year, isn’t it?

I don’t know any time that’s more likely to draw hope from even the most cynical person than spring. If a long, cold, and hard winter can bloom into warm, sunshine-y, colorful spring, then why can’t a long and hard situation turn into one full of joy and peace?

It becomes an even more powerful reminder around Easter time.

The past couple of weeks have been full of reminders of what God accomplished through Easter and the events leading up to it. Christianity rests upon what Jesus did for us on the cross. What He delivered through His resurrection. Assurance. Life. Joy.

Hope.

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about the true meaning of the word ‘hope’, and what I’m learning about keeping it close to my heart. 1 I’m especially trying to remain strong in it, even in times where the reminders aren’t so frequent. It’s all too easy for me to look past the beauty and the warmth and see the tough situations and darkness still on the horizon.

It’s far too easy to look from the promises of God, to the hardships right now instead.

But dwelling on anything other than God is a sure path to depression, worry, frustration, and hopelessness. Pushing away His promises, and the knowledge that He’s walking beside us through every trial is only going to make us feel more alone. More desperate.

But why – if we have every opportunity to live our lives with peace, grace, and joy – would we choose to remain rooted in hopelessness?

It’s such a simple choice mentally, but one that takes a lot of rededication and refocusing in our hearts. For me, it takes a lot of reminders of what God promises, and what I can count on Him to do as I walk with Him. It takes a decision – or many decisions! – every single day to stay on the path of hope and faith.

One thing that always helps is to simply immerse myself in God’s Word. There’s no faster way to be reminded of God’s promises and past faithfulness than to read what He’s saying to us. What He’s said to His children in the past. What He promises about the future. There’s never been a time, when I’ve gone honestly looking for comfort from His Word, that I haven’t found it. When we seek God and His love, we will find it. Every time.

And in addition to dwelling on Scriptures that explain hope and remind me to stay rooted in it, I’ve found it very helpful to hear what other Christians have to say about remaining encouraged through difficulty. So today, I thought I’d share ten of my favorite quotes about hope, with the prayer that they inspire you as much as they inspire me.

1. “Other men see only a hopeless end, but the Christian rejoices in an endless hope.”
(Gilbert M. Beeken)

2. “A Christian will part with anything rather than his hope; he knows that hope will keep the heart both from aching and breaking, from fainting and sinking; he knows that hope is a beam of God, a spark of glory, and that nothing shall extinguish it till the soul be filled with glory.”
(Thomas Brooks)

3. “As Christians, we have no reason to lack hope. Christ has shown the trustworthiness of God and of His Word.”
(Chuck Colson)

4. “Optimism is a wish without warrant; Christian hope is a certainty, guaranteed by God Himself. Optimism reflects ignorance as to whether good things will ever actually come. Christian hope expresses knowledge that every day of his life, and every moment beyond it, the believer can say with truth, on the basis of God’s own commitment, that the best is yet to come.
(J. I. Packer)

5. “If you have been reduced to God being your only hope, you are in a good place.”
(Jim Laffoon)

6. “The hope that God has provided for you is not merely a wish. Neither is it dependent on other people, possessions, or circumstances for its validity. Instead, biblical hope is an application of your faith that supplies a confident expectation in God’s fulfillment of His promises. Coupled with faith and love, hope is part of the abiding characteristics in a believer’s life.”
(John C. Broger)

7. “God is the only one who can make the valley of trouble a door of hope.”
(Catherine Marshall)

8. “Our world today so desperately hungers for hope, yet uncounted people have almost given up. There is despair and hopelessness on every hand. Let us be faithful in proclaiming the hope that is in Jesus.”
(Billy Graham)

9. “Hope is called the anchor of the soul because it gives stability to the Christian life. But hope is not simply a ‘wish’ (I wish that such-and-such would take place); rather, it is that which latches on to the certainty of the promises of the future that God has made.”
(RC Sproul)

10. “What gives me the most hope every day is God’s grace; knowing that his grace is going to give me the strength for whatever I face, knowing that nothing is a surprise to God.”
(Rick Warren)

No matter how hopeless we may feel…no matter how hard it is to see the light right now, there is hope. And if we stay close to Christ, trusting Him, and looking only to Him for our future, we can always have hope. Hope that things will get better. Hope that this is not the end. And, most of all, hope that someday all the hurts and fears of this world will pass away, and we will experience more peace, love, and joy than we can ever imagine now.

Did any of these quotes speak to you today? Go ahead and let me know your favorites in the comments, as well as if there is a certain topic you’d like to see more quotes about. While you’re there, I’d love to hear something YOU’RE learning about hope!

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, 
for He who promised is faithful.
(Hebrews 10:23 NIV)

1. I talked about hope, and what I’m learning about it here.

2. I shared more of my quote collection in my previous posts: 10 Encouraging Quotes For Difficult Times, 10 Inspiring Quotes About Thanksgiving, 10 Stirring Quotes About Joy, 10 Quotes about Conquering Fear, 10 Heartwarming Quotes About Love, and 10 Uplifting Quotes About Perseverance.

3. To receive your own printable pages of the above quotes (and the ones used in my other ‘Quotes’ posts), sign up for my email list! Simply fill in the form here, and I’ll send you PDF copies of the quote collections – as well as an inspirational short story. I look forward to hearing from you!

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

Why I’ve Decided to Indie Publish

Hello and happy Wednesday!

If you’ve visited my site before, you’ve probably seen me talk about my soon-to-be published historical fiction novel, Cabin Girl. Centered around a girl’s fight to escape the Barbary pirates that kidnapped her and return to her family – and full of tense secrecy and deception that I enjoyed writing far too much – it’s one of my favorite books that I’ve done yet.

It’s also heavily inspired by my brother1 and many of his favorite story elements, which has made it a bittersweet blessing. Though I never thought I’d write a pirate novel, I’ve absolutely loved it – and have plans to write several more in the same series.

A few times now, I haven’t been able to figure out the right response to others’ reactions that I’m publishing. It’s usually the same reaction…excitement or genuine congratulations until they ask ‘how’ I’m publishing, and I answer “I’m self-publishing.”

All of a sudden the demeanor changes – subtle but there. I can see the look in their eyes shift, and the congratulating turns from being of a ‘good for you!’ nature, to ‘good for you for trying.’ Suddenly there’s a question lingering in the air – sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken.

“Why would you settle for that, instead of trying for the real thing?”

Unfortunately, most people seem to share the same stigmas about self-publishing that I had for a long time.2 That, though it may take some work to do, it’s not real publishing. If you do it yourself, it’s just fake. Unprofessional. Not worth comparing to something traditionally published, because the quality will be astronomically lower.

Most people see self-publishing as the route writers take when they’re not good enough to be accepted by traditional publishing houses. It’s the cheater’s way in. I used to think the same thing.

And then I started researching.

To clarify, self-publishing and indie publishing are essentially the same thing. Rather than being signed on with a traditional publishing house, and having editing, cover design, formatting, deadlines, and all the other aspects of making your book widely available done and chosen for you, a self-publisher does it all himself (or finds and hires experts to do it for him).

Indie publishing is simply a term that’s been adopted to set apart the people that write and self-publish books more seriously (like for a career), from the people that self-publish for personal reasons (such as having physical copies available for their family and friends).

Because ‘anyone’ can self-publish, and that’s resulted in a lot of stigma toward self-published authors, indie authors have adopted a slightly different term to go by with the hopes that the small break will result in more open-mindedness from others. In my own experience, people are a lot more likely to honestly listen about my writing if I say that I’m working toward ‘indie’ publishing, rather than ‘self’ publishing.

When someone’s willing to honestly listen about my indie publishing, it communicates a lot of respect, and I appreciate that. It allows me to explain why I’ve chosen to go indie rather than pursue traditional. Because I do have a why. I have thought my publishing path through and I believe that it is the best one for me. It’s not the right one for everyone, but at least right now, it’s the one I know I’m supposed to be embarking on.

So, with the approaching launch of my first novel, I thought I’d take the opportunity today to share why I chose to pursue self-publishing (or indie!), instead of traditional. Don’t worry, I’m not here to persuade you that self-publishing is superior. Everyone’s paths will – and should! – look different, and there are many pros and cons to both routes. My respect for traditionally published authors is very high, and if I’d welcome the chance to be one if God ever chooses to nudge me that direction.

But right now, here are my reasons for indie publishing…

Freedom

This is the first one on the list because it’s honestly my the main reason. Of course, like any freedom, it makes some things easier, and some things harder, but ultimately I prefer the ability to make my own choices in every aspect of the publishing journey. The freedom of an indie author means every single decision is up to them.

What book do I want to write and publish? When? How much editing can I do on my own, and how much do I want to be done by someone else? What cover do I want, or who do I want to design it? Should I learn to do my own formatting, or hire someone? Should I go exclusively through Amazon, or sell through another distributor – or all of them? What formats of my book do I want to put out there (ebooks, paperbacks, audio books, etc.)? Every decision opens up a slew of others.

I’ve heard it said many times now that an indie author wears many hats. And at any given time, they might be wearing a lot of them at once! They’re in charge of every aspect of their book and whether their publishing journey is successful or not depends largely on the effort they’re willing to put in. Of course, if my goal is to publish a book so that it’s easier for friends and family to read, the process could be much faster and easier and I’d still consider it successful. But if my goal is to try to make publishing books a source of income, I need to treat it like a business. Like a job.

As I once heard someone say, when it comes to the business side of things: ‘Indie publishers do 100% of the work for 100% of the profits.’

And while that may still mean a lot of work and very few profits, that freedom and control is a huge part of why I’ve decided indie publishing is for me. It also means that I keep all my rights. No one else can do things with my books that I don’t want done with them. I’m in charge of the content, the design, the publishing methods, and the marketing. The message readers get and the experience they have with my books is entirely my responsibility – and my privilege – to create.

Faster Process

Part of the freedom of indie publishing is the ability to choose when you publish. While traditional publishing is often an extremely long process, once the book you intend to self-publish is to the point that you’re confident in it, that publish button is ready and waiting for you to press, sending your book into the public.

And yes, this can be both good and bad. The key is waiting until you’re ready. Theoretically, you could write and self-publish a book in as little as a month. But would the book be ready to publish? Nope. Even if you made some time to edit it, you’d still be too close to the story to catch most the plot holes, cheesy characters, and typos. And any cover design, formatting, or marketing efforts would be weakly thrown together. Most likely, it would end up becoming one of the stereotypical and ‘unprofessional’ self-published novels most people think of right away.

On the other hand, could you write and publish a book of good quality in a year? Depends on the story, but a lot of people do. Cabin Girl has been in the works for about two and a half years now, and I finally feel that it’s ready to be published (after some last edits of course, haha). However long the self-publishing process takes though, it can almost always be faster than if you went the traditional route. It takes months or years to get your manuscript accepted in the first place (if it does get accepted), to even reach the point of editing, cover design, marketing, etc.

I personally am a perfectionist. I loathe the very idea of publishing a book that isn’t the best it can be, and I know I won’t push to put out a book that’s not ready, even if it takes years (I still haven’t let anyone but my siblings read the book I’ve worked on for seven years now, because it’s just not ready!). And yet, when I know that my book is to the point that it can and should be shared, I don’t want to wait years longer before others can read it. Personalities differ greatly in that regard.

My primary goal in indie publishing is honestly not to make a living, but to reach as many people as possible. And for me, that means making the most of the time I have left on earth and sharing my writing with people as soon as it’s ready. Indie publishing means that I can publish – on my timetable, and not on that of a traditional publishing house that has deadlines to meet.

Different Focuses

Everyone has different focuses. Traditional publishing houses have every right to set deadlines and only accept the books that they feel will return their investments. They’re businesses, and they have employees to pay and families to provide for. It would be impossible for them to publish every manuscript submitted to them – at least if they wanted to stay in business.

But that’s where indie publishing comes in. I know that the kinds of books I write are not ones that would fit well with the current mainstream market (Christian pirate novels aren’t really especially popular right now, haha). Traditional publishers aren’t likely to sign with me, and even if they did, they wouldn’t use much of their budget on it or the marketing for it. And for good reason on their part. It just wouldn’t be profitable.

When it’s up to me, however, I can choose to put as much effort and budget into my books as I want. No, I’m not likely to ever be a bestseller no matter where I publish. But some people reading my self-published stories is far better to me than potentially having no one read my story if I throw all my time and effort into pursuing traditional publishers that aren’t interested. Especially when I also consider the other pros I’ve listed (full freedom in decisions, sole ownership of rights, etc.).

What It Takes

I know indie publishing is not for everyone. There are many, many people that have been, are pursuing, or will be traditionally published – and that’s absolutely wonderful. It all comes down to what the right path is for you. For me, for the books I’m writing now, that’s indie publishing. In the future, who knows where God will lead me?

As indie publishing is still new to me, I’m definitely not an expert. But to summarize, here are a list of things I’ve already discovered that it takes to indie publish (some of which I’m managing to do, and others that I…well, that I need to work on, haha!):

– Self-drive and good time management
(With so many aspects of indie publishing, it’s crucial to keep yourself motivated and on track. Good time management is also necessary so you don’t use all your writing, editing, formatting, etc. time on things like scrolling through social sites or even writing other projects. I’ve found that figuring out the one most important focus for the day helps me keep up. Setting my own deadlines is also very helpful.)

– A love for learning
(There is so much to indie publishing. While it makes my head spin, I’m very grateful that I’m someone who loves to learn. Even if you hire others to do things like the cover design and formatting, you still need to learn a torrent of other things, such as how to self-edit well (whether or not you’re also hiring an editor), how to communicate what you want/need to others, how the distributor you’re publishing through works, how to understand and fulfill their requirements, how to create and run a website/blog, how to market and reach your ideal readers, and so on. And of course, there’s no one right answer. Much of learning is piecing together what works for you from other people’s experiences and advice.)

– An open mind and willingness to listen to other’s opinions
(This is not exclusive to indie publishing, but it is necessary to create your best book. When you get feedback from readers, you don’t need to change every detail they suggest, but you should at least consider them. If you keep receiving the same unfavorable opinions on something, maybe it should be tweaked. Even if you like it as it is. Some of the best changes I’ve made to Cabin Girl have been ones that I greatly resisted at first. It was only after I put some deep thought into them, prayed about them, and decided to test them out, that I discovered they were absolutely right. Ultimately, you are the author, and they are the readers. It’ll take work, but the key is being willing to find the perfect balance for all of you.)

– The ability to take critiques and negative comments well
(This is something I’m still working on….But whether it’s in the form of a critique, an Amazon review, a beta reader’s feedback, or just a comment from a family member, friend, or stranger, you will hear less than sparkling things about your writing sometimes. Sometimes it will be worded somewhat nicely, and sometimes it won’t. And it will hurt either way. What helps me to remember is that my writing is not me. It’s a huge part of me, sure, but it’s not where my worth comes from. My worth comes from Christ, and that’s something that will never change. When I receive negative feedback, I find that I need to take a step back, allow myself some time to absorb it, process it, and pray about it, and then carefully consider if it requires my action or not. If it’s pointing out something that I could make better in my work, then I should look into improving it. If it’s not, I need to move on. But if you let every harsh comment cripple you – like I used to do – you won’t be able to ever grow in your writing or career.)

– Friendliness!
(Of course, everything should be done with friendliness and indie publishing is no exception. Throughout the entire process, you talk to and work with many people, and you want to make it a good experience for them. Even if you’re tired, frustrated, or don’t agree with what they’re saying, you still need to be polite and courteous, and never argue or insult. I view every interaction as an opportunity to share Christ through my words and demeanor. That means holding myself to the highest standard when it comes to communication.)

– Plans to write more books
(As appealing as being a one-hit wonder sounds, you’re not likely to make a living or reach millions of people off of one book. If you do attain those things, it will be through continuing to write. And really, if you like to write, this should be no problem! You do like writing, don’t you? Keep looking for ideas, keep outlining, keep writing books, and keep publishing them once they’re ready. The more good-quality books you have out there, the more people you’ll reach and the more resources you’ll be able to put into your next project. This will be both the most challenging part of indie publishing – and the most rewarding.)

To summarize this long and rambling post, indie publishing (self-publishing with an intent to keep at it for a while), is a lot of work. It’s overwhelming, strenuous, time-consuming, sometimes terrifying, and can be painful. But it’s also an incredible opportunity to reach people you might not otherwise. A chance to entertain, inspire, teach, share what’s important to you, and to offer others a vehicle through which to learn and grow and be moved. Through the process so far, I’ve grown and learned so much already. It’s not easy. But to me, it’s worth it.

Once again, though I’m far from an expert at any kind of publishing, I’ve been fascinated by the opportunities and challenges that come with diving into the indie side of things and look forward to continuing to learn! I hope you found some insights here, or at least enjoyed reading about my journey so far. I’m excited to continue on!

What are YOUR thoughts on indie vs traditional publishing? If you plan on publishing some day, which route do you think would suit you best? I’d love to find out, so let me know in the comments!

1.I talked about my brother in my previous post, here.

2. I discussed what being a real writer means here.

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview