E.G. Bella's Blog, page 17
January 16, 2022
My 2022 Growth Word
I have so much growing to do.
Can you relate?
There have been seldom few times in my life where I feel like I actually have things together. At least mostly. But every time that thought crosses my mind, something else happens to show me just how far I have yet to go. How much growing I still need to do.
And I am thankful for it. For God’s nudges and reminders that I’m far from perfect. How can I become arrogant if my own flaws, faults, and mistakes are constantly obvious? I don’t think there’s anything more humbling than realizing just how broken and flawed we are.
If the story ended there, it wouldn’t just be humbling, it’d be depressing. And it still can be sometimes. I struggle not to let perfectionism get the best of me, but it’s often difficult, and when I just can’t do something right no matter how hard I try, my mood plummets.
The only thing that makes it better, that can take our imperfections and bring a sense of hope, is knowing God’s here helping us grow. He never intended for sin to dirty His perfect creation. He made us very good. And while we’ll never be perfect again until Heaven, with His help, we can still grow and better ourselves.
Every year, every month, every week, and every day, we can follow Him and strive to be better people than we were the minutes before. As humans, we’re always changing. That change can be for the better.
In previous posts1, I’ve mentioned what I like to do for the New Year, rather than setting resolutions. And that’s to choose a growth word for each year. A theme. Something to focus on improving at and growing in over the next twelve months.
Of course I should continue trying to grow in that quality or trait always, not just one year. But it helps to focus on it for a while. To really be intentional about making changes. A jumpstart to my growth that I’ll then work to maintain and continue in for years to come.
So far I’ve chosen love (2019), trust (2020), and courage (2021). This year, for 2022, I’m choosing balance.
I’ve always had an all-or-nothing personality. When I’m excited about something, or feeling inspired, I will give my all and work very hard to accomplish things. I’ve made some really big changes in my life while I’m motivated. It’s an amazing feeling, as I watch the progress and positive changes build. I can be ambitious and driven – to a fault.
And usually, the main fault is that I burn out. Depending on what I’m working hard at, I can burn out after months, or after only several days. And as soon as I lose my inspiration, I’m done. I just fizzle out and wonder why I did any of it. It feels impossible, and I stop accomplishing things. Often, I slowly fall back to the way things were before.
Only, it always feel worse to go back to the ways things were before after I’ve just experienced so much change. Suddenly what I was at least somewhat content with before seems unbearable. Which eventually spurs me on to make another drastic change – and the cycle repeats.
Year after year, I’ve seen myself do this in basically every area of my life.
In my health: as I’ve jumped into extreme exercise and strict eating plans that might make me feel better for a while, but aren’t sustainable for long. Maybe it’s too time-consuming, draining, or because it actually ends up causing harm if continued long-term. I’m motivated by the immediate changes, but burn out quickly from the intensity.
In my writing: as I get super excited by some amazing new idea for a story and determine to write upwards of 2,000 words a day to get it written quickly. Except, I can’t keep that up for long. And instead of dropping to a manageable amount, I tend to give up entirely. It wasn’t that great an idea anyway… And besides, it’ll take too long to finish. What’s the point?
In any hobby or skill I’m trying to improve at: I might feel super motivated to learn a new language, to play another instrument, or to make an intricate craft, but if it takes too long and I don’t see significant improvement, I can lose sight of why I wanted to do it in the first place. I should work at it little by little, but instead I lose motivation.
This happens even and especially in my spiritual life; in my relationship with God. That passion and burning devotion to Him is wonderful when it spurs me to pray more, study the Bible more intensely, and seek His will for my life more than ever before. But somehow, despite truly knowing better, I convince myself that unless I’m spending every waking moment studying and locking myself away to pray, then I’m doing it wrong. And when I can’t maintain the schedule I want, the spark fizzles down, and I do far too little instead.
It’s a real problem, and I know it. I need patience and consistency. I need to learn to find a balance between both extremes: too much and too little. Trying to do too much will only lead to doing too little eventually. And both can be very harmful.
Last year (2021), I focused on developing more courage. I was very intentional about trying new things, learning new skills, meeting new people, and stepping into new roles – even if they scared me or were far outside my comfort zone. And I think I succeeded. There were many new things in my life last year, and they’ve continued into 2022. God’s blessed me through all of them. I still have a long journey in my courage, but I’m continuing to grow.
However, in true ‘me’ fashion, I was so focused on filling my schedule with new things that I rarely stopped to consider whether they were smart. Whether I actually could handle yet another new thing at that moment. So while I learned a lot, and am truly thankful for all the new experiences, by the end of the year, I was burnt out.
I had mini-meltdowns numerous times over the year, only continuing because I’d promised and really had no choice but to keep going. There wasn’t anything wrong with the thing itself; nothing I did was bad. It was just another object in my schedule, and I only have so much energy, enthusiasm, and brainpower to go around. I found myself actually dreading things I used to love, just because they felt so overwhelming. Even writing, and this blog.
When it came time to think about a growth word for this year, it seemed pretty obvious. Somehow, I need to find a balance. I can’t continue to sign up for new things and take on more responsibilities unless I’m sure I can handle them and do my best. I can’t continue pushing my body even when there’s nothing left for it to give. I can’t promise to do so much for other people that I don’t have any time and energy to give to God.
Funny how you don’t really appreciate balance until you’ve let it go.
Now, I know that this might sound pathetic to many people. Everyone has busy schedules. Everyone struggles with being tired and feeling overwhelmed. Everyone wishes they had more time on their hands for things they’d rather do. And I know that I’m just going to have to get used to that in many ways.
I can’t just quit all my jobs and cancel all my responsibilities. I can’t stop seeing everyone (nor would I want to). I can’t spend all my time focused on doing things I find fun or relaxing, and never learn new things or make sure I’m preparing for the future. But it’s actually a very good thing that I can’t. That wouldn’t be balance either – it’d be selfish.
Balance, to me, is being busy, but with things I know I’m supposed to be doing. Spending time with people I know God’s calling me to spend time with. Working jobs and taking on responsibilities that I can truly give my best to, and where I can be a witness for Him during. Taking care of myself so I have the mental clarity and physical stamina to do whatever He calls me to do. And most of all, being sure I put Him first in my priorities.
There are a lot of good things I could spend my time and energy on. But that doesn’t mean they’re all the right things. God will give me the ability to handle everything He wants me to do. It’s when I step beyond that and try to take things in my own hands that I run into trouble. So I want to learn how to better distinguish between those this year.
I’m already making changes, and figuring out which things I should slowly adjust or step away from if I can. And it’s a slow process. But that’s okay. I’ll keep praying about it and working at it, and I know that God will help me as I seek to still be courageous – just only in the situations He wants me to be in. Everything goes better when I do things His way.
So this year, I’m going to strive for balance. In my health, my work, my hobbies, my writing, and my relationship with God and with others. That’s officially my 2022 growth word.
What would you pick?
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid,
but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
(2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)
1.I talked about my growth word for 2020, here. And my growth word for 2021, here.
Recent Posts:
My 2022 Growth WordThe Blogoversary TagMy 2022 Reading List
January 14, 2022
The Blogoversary Tag
Happy Friday!
Recently, fellow blogger Kristianne Hassman celebrated her first year of blogging! For the occasion, she created this reflection tag, and even though it’s not my blogoversary, I couldn’t resist the chance to look back at 2021’s blogging. I do a lot of reflecting and planning for the year ahead in January, so this tag fits right in.
Thank you, Kristianne, for creating this tag – and congratulations on one year of blogging! (You should definitely go check out her site. Just click her name, above.)
The lovely tag graphic!First of all, the rules:
Mention the original creator or link back to this post.Use the graphic above.Answer these nine questions (or as many as you want to!).~ How many years have you been blogging for?
~ How many posts have you written this year?
~ What’s your favorite post from this year and why?
~ What’s your most popular post from this year?
~ What made you start blogging?
~ What’s your favorite part about blogging?
~ What’s the hardest part about blogging?
~ What have you learned from blogging this year?
~ What’s one thing you’ll change next year about blogging?Tag your friends if you want to!
And now for the questions!
1. How many years have you been blogging for?One year and four months. My first blog post released on September 18th, 2020.
2. How many posts have you written this year?I wrote 93 posts in 2021! Which came to a total of 138,769 words, proving once again that I can be quite wordy…
3. What’s your favorite post from this year and why?Oh wow, I don’t know how I can choose! I tend to write in three different categories: personal reflections, writing-related, and random fun stuff. So I’m going to cheat and pick one of my favorites from each category.
Those would probably be Beauty in Variety (on a topic very near to me, and I think more appropriate for our world every day), Why You’re Already a “Real” Writer (another topic I’ve wrestled with for years), and My Favorite Jokes (because who doesn’t need more laughter in their lives?).
4. What’s your most popular post from this year?That would be, Why the World Needs Risky Christian Fiction, with 93 views, 28 comments, and 15 likes. I’ve continued to get more interaction on this one post than on any others on my site so far. But it is a topic under a lot of scrutiny lately.
Why You’re Already a “Real” Writer (see above) technically has more likes – 24 – but fewer views. And Why I’d Rather Be an Author than Writer is tied with likes – 15 – but again, has fewer views and comments.
5. What made you start blogging?Writing is very healing for me, so I’d considered starting a blog for years, just as a small space for me to share my thoughts, experiences, and passions with those who happened to stumble across it. But I didn’t know if it would be worth it or not, and it wasn’t until I decided I wanted to work toward publishing fiction, and knew I’d need a website of some sort, that I started this blog.
Though I wouldn’t have to blog on my author website, I treasure the opportunity to share the things that God’s been teaching me – about life, writing, relationships, and anything else. I haven’t regretted it at all. Getting to blog about the things I’m passionate about, and hopefully encourage others in Christ is such a blessing.
6. What’s your favorite part about blogging?The community! As much as I love just blogging my thoughts, its the interaction I get to have with readers that really makes it worth it to me. I’ve been so blessed and blown away by the sweet, encouraging, and thoughtful people who’ve reached out. Thank you so much to each and every one of you that’s read and commented on my posts. I appreciate you more than I can say!
7. What’s the hardest part about blogging?Actually sitting down and doing it, haha! Early in 2021, I started using content calendars to come up with ideas for posts, and that’s helped a lot. But it’s still work to make myself focus and write the actual blog post – no matter how good I may think the idea is. Blogging has been a good exercise in discipline, and although it’s hard, I think I’m slowly improving.
8. What have you learned from blogging this year?Wow, too many things to count. I summarized many of the things I’ve learned from blogging so far in my post, here. But mostly, blogging has helped me realize that my writing cannot and doesn’t need to be perfect. Though I shouldn’t be sloppy, imperfect posts can still help and encourage others. As someone who’s struggled with perfectionism, that’s a huge deal for me. But after all, I can’t consistently post if I’m too busy procrastinating and obsessing over impossible perfection. So that’s been a great help!
9. What’s one thing you’ll change next year about blogging?I think the main thing I’ll try to change in 2022 is the pressure I put on myself. Yes, I was just talking about how blogging has helped my perfectionism. But there were also a few months – particularly in the summer – of 2021 that became very stressful for me, because life grew far busier, and I still thought I needed to hold myself to the vigorous posting schedule I’d kept up in the winter. So I’d like to work out a more flexible posting schedule and be better about knowing when to take a break if needed.
Well, thank you for joining me for this fun and thought-provoking tag! I enjoyed the chance to look back at my blogging in 2021, and I hope you found it interesting as well.
I’m not going to tag anyone specific this time, but if you’re a blogger and want to do this tag, consider yourself nominated! I’d love to find out what you’ve learned in your blogging journey so far. And again, I definitely recommend checking out Kristianne’s post. She shares a lot of good insights here.
I hope to hear from you in the comments!
Recent Posts:
The Blogoversary TagMy 2022 Reading ListWhat I’m Learning About CourageJanuary 12, 2022
My 2022 Reading List
Hello and happy Wednesday!
As anyone who knows me well can tell, I make a lot of plans. I’m the type of person to enjoy schedules, lists, and goals – mostly because I’m too scatterbrained to remember what I want to work toward otherwise. I enjoy seeing my productivity on a page, where I can look back and see how far I’ve come when I’m discouraged or unmotivated.
So of course, I had a lot of goals for 2021 – one of which being to read at least 50 books within the year. And as I shared in my post last month, What I Read in 2021, I managed to succeed at that goal, with 54 books!
After getting out of the reading habit for a bit while I focused on my own fiction, one of my aims for 2021 was to get back into the reading rhythm. I started last year with a list of books I hoped to read, and although I hardly read anything on that list (I filled it with books I wanted to read, but rarely any that were actually had available to me), I’ve definitely gotten back into the reading habit now.
Last year, I also joined Goodreads, as a way of keeping track of those books I read, and leaving reviews for them. It’s been so useful! I plan to continue using it this year, and have already set my 2022 reading goal for 55 books. We’ll see how it goes!
As I compiled my list of books to hopefully read this year, I tried to be a lot more realistic than I was in 2021. Most of these books are ones that I already own, and the few that aren’t are stories I’d already planned to purchase soon. And of course, I know there will be many books I end up reading that aren’t on this list. But it doesn’t make sense for me to make a long list of books I don’t have, when there are still some on my shelves that I haven’t read.
So today, I’d like to share that list with you, as well as hear about the books you’re hoping to read this year! Let’s jump to it!
This year I’d like to read . . .
Fiction~ All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
(I’ve heard good and bad things about this book, but I found a copy at my local thrift shop, and the historical premise sounds interesting, so I want to give it a try!)
~ A Time To Die by Nadine Brandes
(I recently discovered Brandes’ writing, and her stories are some of my very favorites. I’m so excited to read through this intriguing trilogy!)
~ Eragon by Christopher Paolini
(Admittedly, I tried to read this once last year and just couldn’t get into it. But I don’t like to leave books unfinished, so I’m going to finish it this year and see what the entire story is like.)
~ Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling
(Yet another series I didn’t get to reread last year, but I’ve been trying to work through some ‘successfully published’ books to study from a writer’s perspective. These definitely fall into that category, and I’ve always enjoyed them)
~ Held Captive by Grace A. Johnson
(I have a copy of this book now and it’s one of the first ones I hope to finish this year! The author is a very talented friend, and I can’t resist a good pirate story, haha.)
~ Legends of Tira-Nor by Daniel Schwabauer
(I wanted to get to these three books last year, and ended up forgetting about them in the midst of a house renovation. I’m determined to read them this year though, haha. I hear they’re excellent!)
~ Maxine Justice: Galactic Attorney by Daniel Schwabauer
(I’ve been blessed to receive an ARC copy of this sci-fi – set to release in March of this year – and all I can say so far is wow. I’m so excited for it to launch!)
~ Operation Grendel by Daniel Schwabauer
(Yes, I’m bingeing a bunch of Mr. Schwabauer’s books, haha. This one came out last year, but I didn’t purchase it right away. Now I’ve heard so many great reviews that I’m looking forward to reading it even more!)
~ Operation Lionhearted by Maribeth Barber
(I’ve heard so many excellent things about this book, and now having gotten to know the sweet author a little bit, I’m happily anticipating getting to read it soon!)
~ The Giver by Lois Lowry
(No, I didn’t get to this book last year either…but I actually have a copy of it now, so I’ll be reading it soon!)
~ The Maze Runner by James Dashner
(I have five books in this series, but it’s been quite a while since I’ve read them, so I’d like to go through them again. Though I remember disliking the sometimes graphic descriptions, the stories always kept my interest.)
~ The Power Within by Kate Sinclair
(I’ve heard a lot of good things about this book from friends, and I know the author a bit too. The setting and plot sound super interesting, so I’m looking forward to it.)
~ The Time Travel Team: The Great Historic Mystery by Jordyn Hadden
(Another book written by a friend! I’ve read and enjoyed many of her works at this point, just not this first published story. The worldbuilding, themes, and characters sound very intriguing.)
~ Unblemished by Sara Ella
(I haven’t heard much about this book or the series, but it’s written by a Christian author, I have a copy, and I’ve read a lot of good reviews for it. So it goes on my list for this year!)
~ Adorning the Dark by Andrew Peterson
(This book on creativity, calling, and community has been recommended to me too many times to count now, so I’d really like to finally read it this year.)
~ Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver
(I read Weaver’s previous book, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, years ago and it’s been one of my very favorites. So I’m greatly looking forward to learning from this one.)
~ Life Management for Busy Women by Elizabeth George
(I can rightfully consider myself a busy woman now, haha, so this sounds like a very helpful book. I’ve always enjoyed and appreciated George’s works.)
~ My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
(I read most of this book – which is formatted as daily readings – last year, and it’s incredible! I definitely want to finish it this year. There’s so much wisdom found in it.)
~ The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas
(I’ve read Thomas’ previous book, Sacred Marriage, before and found it extremely enlightening, so this one – focused on the dating process – sounds great as well.)
~ The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer
(Yet another classic that I began last year and am looking forward to finishing in the next few months. So far, I’ve found it to contain a lot of helpful insights and encouragements.)
~ Twelve Extraordinary Women by John MacArthur
(I always enjoy learning more about the Bible and the people it features, and this looks like a very interesting book about some of them.)
~ Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst
(I’ve read several books by Terkeurst now, and each of them have offered relatable and helpful insights. This one looks promising as well.)
Last year’s reading didn’t exactly go as planned, but those are many of the books that I’m hoping to get to this year! Have you read any of them? If so, what did you think? And if not, are there any that intrigue you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
What books are on YOUR reading list for 2022? Do you have a goal for how many books you hope to read this year? Chat with me in the comments and let me know! I look forward to hearing from you!
Recent Posts:
My 2022 Reading ListWhat I’m Learning About CourageFellow Author Cover Reveal: Sorceress of the DryadsJanuary 9, 2022
What I’m Learning About Courage
It’s hard to believe we’re already in the second week of 2022.
So much has happened in the past couple of years. To me, it still feels like 2021 just started. Most of the things I expected to change last year didn’t, and many things I never expected to change did. You’d think I’d finally learn not to try and guess God’s ways.
Time after time, He’s proven that His ways are the best, and that He truly knows what the right thing is for every moment of our lives. Though I don’t understand His ways and really never can, I can certainly see His masterful hand behind my 2021.
For the past three years, instead of setting New Years resolutions, I’ve chosen a growth word for the year. I still make lists of goals for myself to work toward, to keep me on track. But ultimately, choosing a word for some quality that I know I need to improve at helps me not to focus so much on individual plans. It helps direct me to become more like Christ, and trust what His plan is for my life – not my own hopes.
This isn’t an idea I came up with, although I don’t remember where I first heard of it. But the growth word you pick is supposed to be a highly personal one, relating to some quality or practice that you feel God’s calling you to work on. When it comes time to choose one for the year, I first pray about it. And then I examine myself and what might be coming up in the year ahead.
What qualities am I lacking? What areas am I struggling in most? What do I need to improve at that would help me serve God better in the next years of my life? Where can I feel Him directing my attention right now?
Some years a word comes to my mind out of the blue, and seems to fit perfectly. Other times, it’s a toss up between many things I think I could work on. Although I might choose one, it’s not until the end of the year that I look back and see how appropriate it was. Or I may never settle on one for sure, but as I examine the year later, a clear theme emerges.
In 2019, my word of choice was love. 2020’s word was trust (which I talked about – and how perfect it was – in this post). I never settled on a word for 2021.
It’s not that I didn’t have things to work on – I had too many! And of course, that will always be the case as an imperfect human. But after a year like 2020, I didn’t know what to expect going forward. And with so many areas I wanted to improve at, I wrestled with choosing a word for a while, then eventually gave up on picking just one.
I figured I’d wait and see what the year brought. In the meantime, I knew I’d need to continue trusting God, and be willing to try whatever I felt Him asking me to. Even if it was difficult, scary, or uncomfortable.
Now I realize that a big part of that involves courage. But it didn’t click for me until the end of 2021, when I sat down to examine the past year, and choose a growth word for 2022.
Even though I never recognized or pinpointed the exact word, I spent my 2021 developing more courage. Striving to try new things, even if they intimidated me. Reaching out to others and helping however I could, even if I felt awkward or out of my comfort zone. Navigating new opportunities and relationships that, quite honestly, terrified me.
Did I fill my schedule with a little too much in the process? Probably, yes (which I’ll talk about in next week’s post, when I share my growth word for 2022). But as I look back at 2021, I can honestly say that I’m a braver person than I was before. God’s been working on my heart and helping me with it, despite my hesitation.
I’m a naturally cautious person, and prone to being a bit socially awkward, hesitant, and quiet. There’s a determined and adventurous side of me that can show up after I take the initial step into a new situation, but the more dominant and reserved side of me is usually very reluctant to take that first step.
Unless I feel there’s a very good reason, I’m probably not going to rock the boat or overhaul a system that’s worked fine. Even if I should.
And that’s what I’ve been learning, especially starting in 2021. I’m sure it comes with this stage of my life anyway, as time passes and I’m stepping farther into adulthood and independence. But I’m thankful I’ve taken the time to focus on being braver, and that God’s been helping and strengthening me in the process.
2021 held a lot of new things for me.
I finally buckled down and completed a four-month elimination diet to figure out what’s been causing recurrent nausea the past six years. It was extremely restrictive and challenging, and I’m not out of the woods health-wise yet, but I truly believe I’m getting there. And there has been improvement, praise God. Between that and finishing a year and a half process of Invisalign, my diet has completely changed. I’m learning to navigate that.
I took a larger role as a leader and part of the worship team in my church’s youth group. In addition to accompanying on the piano and leading small groups, that also meant taking several trips to a camp my church is connected with. One of those trips was a week long and involved co-counseling ten girls not all that much younger than I was. Eggs cracked on my head by giggling campers, constant movement, tearful prayer meetings and teachings, and creative meals with newfound allergies made for an intense but rewarding week.
The week after, I virtually attended my second weeklong writing conference, which consisted of live teaching sessions, Zoom calls listening to and reading excerpts from our stories with my new critique group, a mentor session with Allen Arnold, collaborating to sing recorded for open mic night, drawing my own fantasy map, and random writing and editing. Despite a bad cold, with headaches and sounding like I had cotton balls in my sinuses, I was grateful to be able to attend again.
In July, I house-and-pet-sat for a week by myself for a family. It was faux independence sure, but yet another new experience, as I spent the week in a new town, new place, with new animals and new responsibilities while I balanced the rest of my weekly obligations. I enjoyed the opportunity, despite repeatedly planning in my mind what I’d do if that creak or bang down the hall (which was actually just the dog) was someone breaking in.
The next two weeks after that were spent participating in a theatre camp. Although I’d done years of theatre before, this was in a far shorter time period, with mostly new cast members and directors. I was cast in one of the main roles, with eleven days to memorize all my lines, learn half a dozen songs with several solos, and figure out all the choreography. The improvisation exercises were yet another aspect extremely outside my comfort zone. The entire experience stretched me very much, but I learned a lot during it.
I attended my first non-family wedding – also the first one attending by myself. It was a lovely experience getting to celebrate with my newly-married friend. And in yet another example of God’s mysterious, awesome ways, I received the chance to catch up with someone I hadn’t seen in ages, but, five months later, see quite often. A relationship wasn’t anywhere on my radar, but despite the sometimes petrifying newness of it all, I’ve seen God bring so many blessings. I’m very humbled and thankful.
I started teaching a fiction writing class to eight wonderful high-school students, most of which I used to take classes with (and one being my sister). Putting together a curriculum and materials, sending out emails, standing up and teaching on a subject that I’m passionate about but not an expert at has been quite the adventure. I don’t believe I’ve inherited the natural gift of teaching that my mother has, but stepping outside my comfort zone in the process has taught me a lot.
I started a second part-time job, working full-time hours between the two of them, and ensuring that every day of my week has at least one obligation. Nannying and office work could hardly be more different I think, but both have brought their own set of challenges and rewards, and I can see how they’re helping me grow as a person. One day I’m soothing crying children and the next I’m soothing myself while filing mountains of paperwork. Character building, I believe they call it. And truly, I am thankful for it.
I published my first book in December: The Toymaker’s Doll. And what an experience! For this perfectionist to share a story so near to her heart with just anyone has definitely been a step outside my comfort zone. But the launch, the blog tour, and the rest of the process so far has gone wonderfully, and I’ve been very blessed to hear readers’ thoughts. Though I don’t plan for it to be my only published story, it feels like a really neat accomplishment and it’s been a goal of mine for years.
All in all, as I look back at the past year, at all these things and more, I sometimes wonder how I’ve done them. It may not seem like much to others, but to me, knowing my personality and tendencies, I’m surprised. Over and over again, I’ve shakenly made the decision to try something despite feeling scared by it. And as God’s helped me have courage, those new things have gotten at least a little bit easier.
I’ve grown. I’ve changed. And I can honestly say I’m more courageous than I was in 2020.
Do I have a very long way to go still? Absolutely. But that’s the point of a growth word. It’s to focus on growing. And even though it isn’t my main growth word this year, I’ve made a lot of ground and plan to continue striving for courage in the years to come.
God’s shown me His character, and I’ve found that the more I trust Him, the easier it is to find courage. No matter what the situation, He will still be with me. No matter how I’m feeling, He is the same; faithful, loving, and wise. I don’t think it’s possible to be truly courageous without Him.
In many ways, I’m merely a frightened toddler desperately clinging to my strong Father’s hand. And just as I know He won’t ever stop guiding me, I don’t plan to ever let Him go.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith;
be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.
(1 Corinthians 16:13-14 NIV)
Recent Posts:
What I’m Learning About CourageFellow Author Cover Reveal: Sorceress of the Dryads2021 December Wrap-UpJanuary 8, 2022
Fellow Author Cover Reveal: Sorceress of the Dryads
What’s this? Bella posting on a Saturday?
Indeed, I am – and with the privilege of sharing the cover for author, Raina Nightingale’s upcoming release, Sorceress of the Dryads!
I’ve been blessed to interact with and read Raina’s writing since the start of my own blogging journey in 2020, and am continually blessed by her thoughtful insights and her passion for fiction that shines light into the darkness of this world.
Her newest book will, I believe, do just that.
Sorceress of the Dryads is the second and final book in the high-fantasy, Legend of the Singer duology; the sequel to Children of the Dryads. If you have yet to read the first book in the series, here’s its blurb for you:
When her human father, Eldor, a member of an organization of elite warriors dedicated to protecting the Valor Alliance, is called on a mission she does not think he can survive, Tara-lin violates his orders and follows him…
She is a half-elf, born with the long-lost ancestral magic of the elves. With her is Alis, a human girl desperate to avoid a marriage forced on her by her father, a colleague of Eldor, but terrified that gods Tara-lin does not believe exist will cast her into the netherhells for her disobedience. Ahead of them is Eldor’s terrifying destination–Nightshade Castle, haunt of madness and black magic.
And here’s the blurb for book #2: Sorceress of the Dryads:
When the corrupted elven prince, Anakrim, takes the throne in the aftermath of the deaths of King Orenduil and Queen Alaria and promises the elven people the return of their long-lost magic, the forests of Elethri begin to languish…
The dryads and Tara-lin must join their magic as never before to bring his menace to an end in a way consistent with their natures and the healing of the forests. In the midst of the upheaval, Tara-lin finds herself in a position of influence she never wanted. With the help of the dryads, she must find and stay true to her song and try to lead the elves to discover and nurture their individual magic.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, because this is a cover reveal after all….
I love the art style!Sorceress of the Dryads releases on February 22nd (this year – 2022!), but you can already pre-order it, here. And if you’re looking for an immersive high-fantasy read with deep and meaningful themes, this is certainly one you should look into.
You can find Raina (and information about her other published works) on her website, here, or by visiting her twitter, here.
Congratulations on your upcoming release, Raina!
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Fellow Author Cover Reveal: Sorceress of the Dryads2021 December Wrap-Up10 Quotes About GivingJanuary 5, 2022
2021 December Wrap-Up
Hello and happy Wednesday!
Today’s post brings another summary of the past month of my life – with writing progress reports, reading accomplishments, and general updates!
So without further ado . . .
General UpdateWelcome to 2022!
I’m happy to say that I got into the holiday spirit a bit more last year! In my experience, it seems that the harder the year, the more I appreciate the holidays. The break from some normal responsibilities, the extra time with loved ones, the cozy atmosphere…and most of all the focus on why we’re celebrating in the first place. Not to say the holidays don’t bring other stresses and hurts of their own, but I was especially thankful for the Christmas season in 2021.
Highlights from December included attending a Christmas concert, getting to spend more time with family and friends, a holiday gathering, surprising multiple people with gifts, publishing and a blog tour (see below), hopefully gaining some ground on health issues, and just having a little extra time to rest and relax. God never fails to amaze me with His blessings.
And again, despite all the turmoil and upset in the world right now, I got to witness so much unity, thoughtfulness, and love during the holiday season. I can’t say exactly what it is, but there’s just something about Christmas that brings out the best in a lot of people. It was a beautiful reminder of the goodness still left in the world, and that God is still working for good – no matter what else is going on.
Fiction WritingOne of these months I’m actually going to have a good fiction wordcount to report. But December was not that month, haha. Although I’d hoped to write at least one new short story (I miss fiction!), that didn’t happen amidst the holiday busyness. I wrote a grant total of 0 words. If it’s at all up to me, I will be writing something fiction in January. Preferably quite a bit.
And although I didn’t get to write any new stories, I did get to publish my debut short story, The Toymaker’s Doll! In the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing huge, but I’m very happy with it anyway. It’s been a dream of mine to publish something for years, and I’m hopeful that this is just the start of my publishing journey. I’ve been so blessed through the experience and through hearing from those who’ve read it so far.
(If you’re interested in reading it, you can find it on Amazon or by joining my email list.)
On the BlogI managed a total of 9 blog posts last month, which I’m super happy about considering how busy it’s been. And even more exciting, half of them were for The Toymaker’s Doll blog tour! This was my first time participating in a blog tour for my own book, and it went better than I ever expected. I’ve been extremely blessed by everyone who offered to help with it.
Here are the posts for December (just click on the titles to read them):
~ 2021 November Wrap-Up
~ A Writer’s Blog Tag: All About Editing
~ The Spotify Wrapped Tag
~ Know the Novel Linkup – Part 3: Words Written
~ The Toymaker’s Doll Blog Tour Kickoff!
~ What Readers Are Saying About The Toymaker’s Doll
~ The Toymaker’s Doll Blog Tour Wrap-Up
~ What I Read in 2021
I got to do quite a bit more reading last month! The books I finished:
Non-fiction:
~ Thyroid Power by Richard L. Shames and Karilee Halo Shames
~ Feeling Fat, Fuzzy, or Frazzled? by Richard L. Shames and Karilee Halo Shames
~ Thyroid Healthy by Suzy Cohen
~ Adrenal Fatigue by James L. Wilson
(As you can tell, I was doing some health research, haha. All of these books were informative and helpful. Piecing together the information from each provided a pretty clear picture of the various health issues.)
Fiction:
~ The Hunger Games (#1) by Suzanne Collins
~ Catching Fire (Hunger Games #2) by Suzanne Collins
~ Mockingjay (Hunger Games #3) by Suzanne Collins
(I’d only ever watched the movies before, and was hesitant to read the books, wondering if they’d ruin the movies for me. Turns out, not at all! I think the movies actually stayed remarkably true to the books. And the books themselves were fantastic. Despite already knowing the plot, I couldn’t help but continue turning pages, and loved all of the extra details and backstories. Definitely a well-written series, with incredible worldbuilding.)
~ Fairest by Gail Carson Levine
(I remember reading and enjoying this story when I was much younger, and I was pleasantly surprised to still enjoy it now! The spin on Snow White’s tale is very creative, and I appreciated the mystical prose and solid themes about obsession on external beauty.)
I’m currently compiling a list of books to read in 2022, and – surprise, surprise – it’s a long list, haha, Watch for a post about it next week!
Looking ForwardThere’s just something about the new year that’s especially motivating to me, and I’m hoping to take advantage of that motivation this month. I learned a lot of very valuable lessons last year – some much harder than others. It’s my goal to put many of them into better use this year, as well as continuing to learn new ones. I’m praying for a lot of personal growth in 2022!
Highlights coming up this month include: jumping full-swing back into both jobs, starting to teach the second semester of my fiction writing class, practicing my piano more, spending more time in the Word and prayer, continuing to make time for loved ones, a food pantry, reading a few books, writing more (blog and fiction), and finishing up my goals for 2022. Yes, I’m one of those planning people, haha. If you couldn’t tell already.
Specific writing goals I’d like to reach in January are to blog 10-11 times, write a short story, and continue to work on Cabin Girl. Last January I wrote almost 40,000 words of a new novel draft, and I’ve been itching to work on that again, but I don’t think I’ll let myself just yet. We’ll see how the month goes…
What was YOUR December like? What kinds of things did you get to do? If you have a progress report on something, or books you read and would like to share, go ahead and let me know in the comments! And while you’re at it, feel free to include what you’re looking forward to and/or hoping to accomplish in January! As always, I’m excited to hear from you!
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2021 December Wrap-Up10 Quotes About GivingWhat I Read in 2021January 2, 2022
10 Quotes About Giving
I am notoriously bad at waiting.
But hold on, isn’t this a post about giving? Not waiting?
Well, yes. But see, around this time of year, I’m reminded of just how little patience I have.
Especially when it comes to giving.
I’m the type of person who will procrastinate, overthink, and stress about what to give loved ones until I’m running out of time to actually get anything. And it’s not that I don’t like giving gifts – I do! But it can be so hard to decide on something for a long time.
The real problem, however, is after I’ve finally decided on what to get for them. As soon as I actually have their gift ready, I want to give it to them now. Not at Christmas. Not at their birthday. Right this minute. I just can’t wait to show them and let them use it and see their expression.
When it comes to giving gifts, I often have the patience of a toddler.
There’s just something rather…magical about giving, isn’t there? To see that special person’s face light up, to know that it means something to them, to be sure that you’ve made a positive difference in their life.
This applies to any type of gift. Whether it’s a toy to a child, a sandwich to a hungry teenager, a hug to someone starved for affection, or anything else. If you give something with the intent of helping someone out or brightening their day, if you’re thoughtful with your gift, it has the potential to actually change someone’s life.
Maybe that sounds dramatic, but it’s true. A gift doesn’t have to be huge, expensive, or impressive to change someone’s life. It’s often the little things done in love that can have the largest impact. I still remember smiles, kind words, hugs, and small gifts given years ago, because I could tell the person giving them was genuine and actually cared.
Physical or verbal, large or small, time-consuming or simple, what matters about a gift is that it’s given out of love. More important than the thing itself is the thought and care put into it. Though some people may look at the actual gift more than others (such as those with the love language of gifts), ultimately, it really is the thought that counts.
As a believer, I’m so glad to have the best example of giving that there is. Not only did Christ give us the absolute best that He possibly could – through His death for us, providing forgiveness, a pathway to salvation, and an eternal lifetime with Him – but He’s never stopped giving. Every breath we take is an example of His loving heart.
He gives us many big blessings, and He showers us in so many little ones too. And most of all, they’re all given because of His great love and care for us. I think that’s the perfect example of how we should strive to give to one another.
If you’re like me, and you struggle to give gifts because you want them to be perfect, be encouraged. If you’re truly putting thought into it and giving from a place of love, then you’re doing it right. No matter what the gift is, just make sure the other person knows how much you care.
And if you also struggle with waiting to give someone their gift, something I keep being convicted of is this…why wait? Sure, when it comes to Christmas, a birthday, or a special occasion like that, it makes sense to wait until the appropriate time. But those also don’t need to be the only times we give. I don’t think they should be.
I’ve found that when we live our lives with the spirit of giving constantly in our hearts and minds, it improves so many lives around us. When we seek out opportunities to bless others with a smile, an encouragement, a small token, or an offer to help, we’re actively showing Christ’s love. And the world could use a lot more of that.
So even as we move away from the traditional holiday season and its focus on gifts, I still want to stay focused on giving. Not only can it bless other people, but I have never once regretted it. The benefits to my own attitude and growth are not something I’d ever want to give up. And with all that in mind, today I thought I’d share ten of my favorite quotes about giving, with the prayer that they encourage you as much as they do for me.
1. “You can always give without loving, but you can never love without giving.”
(Amy Carmichael)
2. “As base a thing as money often is, yet it can be transmuted into everlasting treasure. It can be converted into food for the hungry and clothing for the poor. It can keep a missionary actively winning lost men to the light of the gospel and thus transmute itself into heavenly values. Any temporal possession can be turned into everlasting wealth. Whatever is given to Christ is immediately touched with immortality.”
(A.W. Tozer)
3. “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose!”
(Jim Eliot)
4. “Generosity is impossible apart from our love of God and of His people. But with such love, generosity not only is possible but inevitable.”
(John MacArthur)
5. “I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc. is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures exclude them.”
(C. S. Lewis)
6. “You do not have to be wealthy to be generous; you just have to be generous.”
(Johnny Hunt)
7. “Remember this—you can’t serve God and Money, but you can serve God with money.”
(Selwyn Hughes)
8. “A lack of generosity refuses to acknowledge that your assets are not really yours, but God’s.”
(Tim Keller)
9. “In all of my years of service to my Lord, I have discovered a truth that has never failed and has never been compromised. That truth is that it is beyond the realm of possibilities that one has the ability to out give God. Even if I give the whole of my worth to Him, He will find a way to give back to me much more than I gave.”
(Charles Spurgeon)
10. “The world asks, ‘What does a man own?’ Christ asks, ‘How does he use it?'”
(Andrew Murray)
Generosity is such a beautiful thing, and something that I wish wasn’t complicated so much by today’s world. Giving isn’t about prices, size, or even physical things. It’s about the heart. So my prayer for us as we continue into this year is that we’d all be reminded and encouraged to give freely, generously, and – most of all – out of love. Those make for the very best gifts.
Did any of these quotes speak to you today? Go ahead and let me know your favorites in the comments, as well as if there is a certain topic you’d like to see more quotes about. While you’re there, I’d love to hear something YOU’RE learning about giving!
A generous person will prosper;
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
(Proverbs 11:25 NIV)
1. I shared more of my quote collection in many previous posts, which you can find here.
2. To receive your own printable pages of the above quotes (and the ones used in my other ‘Quotes’ posts), sign up for my email list! Simply fill in the form here, and I’ll send you PDF copies of the quote collections – as well as an inspirational short story. I look forward to hearing from you!
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10 Quotes About GivingWhat I Read in 2021The Toymaker’s Doll Blog Tour Wrap-UpDecember 31, 2021
What I Read in 2021
Happy Friday!
Well, here we are…the very last day of 2021.
It’s been another crazy year, hasn’t it? Far crazier than I expected it to be anyway. Although really, when do I ever accurately anticipate how busy I’ll be? Not often, if ever.
Thankfully, even amidst all the unexpected events and busyness of this year, I was still able to exceed my reading goal of 50 books. As of today, I’ve read 54 books in 2021!
This is my first year keeping track of the books I read, and I’ve really enjoyed it! The insights have been neat. Before this, I had no idea how many books I usually read, or my typical balance between fiction and non-fiction (22 vs 32).
And in case you’re as interested in stats as I am, here are some random ones…
I read a total of 14,666 pages (not sure how I feel about that number). The longest book I read was 509 pages, and the shortest one had 14. My average number of pages per book was 271, and the average rating I gave in my reviews was 4.2 stars.
And now for the books themselves!
Here is the list of books I’ve read in 2021:
( * = A favorite!)
(DNR = do not recommend/will not be re-reading)
And as far as reading goes, this doesn’t count a whole bunch of articles and blog posts (mostly about writing craft or Scripture study). Not the majority of my own writing that I’ve worked on this year either. But I’m pretty happy with the amount of actual books I’ve read this year!
Again, when I first set my goal, I really didn’t even know what my usual yearly amount of books read was. 50 seemed like a pretty reasonable number to try – not too huge, but not tiny. And apparently it was about perfect for this year!
Although I didn’t read all the books I intended to, I read a lot that I didn’t think I’d get to, and also started quite a few that just couldn’t hold my interest… Apparently I have an even shorter attention span than I realized when it comes to reading. Something for me to work on, haha.
If you’re interested in reading my more in-depth reviews for these books, you can find me on Goodreads, here. I’m not always the fastest at posting my reviews, but I have quite a few of them there, and hope to go back and finish the rest soon. Maybe I’ll see you over there? And if you’re curious about any of the books, feel free to ask questions in the comments!
What did YOU read this year? What were some of your favorites? Were there any reads you didn’t enjoy? I’d love to hear from you, so feel free to comment below and let me know what reading adventures you were up to in 2021!
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What I Read in 2021The Toymaker’s Doll Blog Tour Wrap-UpWhat Readers Are Saying About The Toymaker’s DollDecember 26, 2021
The Toymaker’s Doll Blog Tour Wrap-Up
What an eventful week!
As we’re wrapping up the blog tour for The Toymaker’s Doll, I just wanted to take a moment and thank each and every person who helped with it. The reviews were so wonderful to read, and I enjoyed the interviews greatly. If you were part of the blog tour, thank you!
And thank you to every person who helped in any way for this launch. If you wrote a review, thank you. If you helped with proofreading or line edits, thank you. If you prayed or sent an encouraging message or asked how you could help, thank you. I couldn’t have done all this without you, and I’m so grateful for the encouragement and support!
This has been an exciting week, and it’s encouraged me when I think of publishing again in the near future. There’s been experience and new motivation gained on my part, and I’m looking forward to continuing to write and share stories – God willing.
Sharing The Toymaker’s Doll through publishing has been both exciting to me, and a huge leap of faith. For this perfectionist to put something out there – even something that’s gone through countless rounds of editing and proofreading – has still been quite difficult. But it’s my prayer that God will use it to touch lives, and that thought is most exciting of all.
For everyone who helped in any way, thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say.
I hope you’ve had a very merry Christmas – and God bless you!
(If you haven’t been following the blog tour so far, here’s the kickoff post, with the schedule, links, and information about The Toymaker’s Doll.)
I have not stopped giving thanks for you,
remembering you in my prayers.
(Ephesians 1:16 NIV)
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The Toymaker’s Doll Blog Tour Wrap-UpWhat Readers Are Saying About The Toymaker’s DollDecember 24, 2021
What Readers Are Saying About The Toymaker’s Doll
Happy Friday!
How can we be five days into The Toymaker’s Doll blog tour already?
The days seem to be flying, and I’ve been enjoying the chance to hear from readers very much. I never expected such a flood of encouragement and support. What a blessing!
(If you haven’t gotten in on the rest of the tour, you can find the kickoff post, here.)
My greatest joy as an author is finding out how my stories have impacted other people. When I write, I want the stories to first glorify God, and second touch others’ hearts. To me, that’s what makes writing such a blessing. That’s what motivates me to keep telling those stories, no matter what comes up to make the process more difficult.
Since The Toymaker’s Doll was published, I’ve received the privilege of reading many sweet messages and reviews from people who’ve read the story and been moved by it, and those reviews never fail to make my day. It’s also been a great learning experience, to find out how others interpreted various things, and what their honest thoughts were.
Reviews are helpful. For the author, to receive that crucial feedback they need to continue improving their stories, and for the reader, to figure out if a story is worth spending some of their valuable time on. There are a lot of stories out there, and not enough time to read them all (if we even wanted to).
I’m so grateful for each and every review that’s been left so far – on blogs, on Amazon, on Goodreads…anywhere! For some in-depth reviews, you can head over to that kickoff post I mentioned earlier (scroll back up!) to find reviews by several sweet and thorough fellow writers. And here are some shorter ones that have really helped and encouraged me.
“This is a quick read but worth the price. Beautiful and encouraging, will probably make you cry. I look forward to more from this author.”
~ Amazon Customer
“The Toymaker’s Doll had an enormous impact on me, and I don’t say that lightly. The day I first read it, I was heartsore and weary after finally coming to terms with a serious injury, one that will probably affect me for the rest of my life. But when I read The Toymaker’s Doll, I had no idea that the Lord would use it to comfort me. Jane, the timid and broken heroine of the story, resonated with me within the first few paragraphs. Not only did her painful limp reminded me of my own chronic pain, but I could relate to her fear and isolation as well. Riveted (and feeling strangely seen), I read of her desperate journey to the Toymaker’s shop, her poignant encounters with other hurting or frightened toys, and her meeting with a cruel snake.
~ Maribeth Barber (Amazon)
It was her conversation with the tender Toymaker himself, however, that left me weeping tears of gratitude. For through her story, E.G. Bella reminded me of God’s immense and unconditional love for me, His patience with and compassion towards my physical infirmities, and His good and sovereign plans to give me a hope and a future. As Jane learns, all may not be perfect in this life, but it is very good—and that’s why I will always treasure The Toymaker’s Doll.”
“E.G. Bella captures the hearts of her readers in her short story The Toymaker’s Doll, which tells the story of Jane, a doll who struggles to accept the way the Toymaker has made her. Jane goes on a journey to find the Toymaker and ask Him to fix her, and in doing so she discovers that sometimes flaws are strengths in disguise, and more importantly, that the Toymaker loves her and made her exactly the way He wanted her to be for a reason.
~ Sierra Jauch (Amazon)
This allegorical story teaches spiritual truths about God using weakness to let strength and kindness shine through, and that God loves us and makes no mistakes. E.G. Bella addresses heart issues that every person can relate to in a sweet, simple, and classical style without diminishing the hurts that people experience. When readers of all ages see how carefully the Toymaker crafted Jane, they will see how carefully our Father has created us.”
“This was just beautiful!!!! E.G. Bella has proved herself to be an author to keep an eye out for with this masterfully written allegorical short story that will tug at your heartstrings and deeply move you to see yourself and the world through the Creator’s eyes…”
~ Issabelle Perry (Goodreads – and soon to be on her own blog)
“…This allegorical story reads somewhat like an old children’s book, with a simple but poetic style and a classical cadence, but its message is ageless. E. G. Bella wove the answers to some of life’s hardest questions—why do bad things happen to good people? why are some people healed but not others? does God love me? do I have a purpose?—into this short story in a way that was memorable and inspiring. The depth of wisdom in the simple words is so beautiful!…I have no doubt that everyone who reads this tiny tale will not only enjoy it but walk away impacted by the lovely message!…”
~ Grace A. Johnson (Goodreads – and on her own blog)
“What a sweet, truth-filled debut from E. G. Bella! From the very beginning, I was pulled into Jane’s little world. This is one of those stories that, though short, speaks a message that will stay with you!…Anyone who’s gone through sorrows and suffering (basically everyone!) would relate to Jane’s story….”
~ Vanessa Hall (Goodreads – and on her own blog)
“…Jane was such a great character with struggles I believe almost anyone can relate to. I also enjoyed the side characters: Isabel, the shepherdess, and the toy soldier. And the Toymaker was a good allegorical representation of some of the ways God relates to His children. The Toymaker’s Doll was a thought-provoking allegory. I’d recommend it to those who enjoy Christian fiction, allegories, and short stories.
~ Kristina Hall (Goodreads – and on her own blog)
(To find the full reviews from the various blogs, you can head here.)
I couldn’t be happier to know The Toymaker’s Doll has made even a small impact on these readers – and I pray it continues to spread the message of God’s love to many others. Thank you reviewers, for letting me know your thoughts!
And if YOU would like to leave a review, by all means, please do! I always enjoy hearing from readers, and getting to hear your thoughts would be such a blessing to me.
God bless – and have a very merry Christmas Eve!
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What Readers Are Saying About The Toymaker’s DollThe Toymaker’s Doll Blog Tour Kickoff!
