E.G. Bella's Blog, page 22

10 Timely Quotes About Fellowship

What does true fellowship look like?

That’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot lately. Looking around at our fallen world, I know that there’s always been division and struggles among people. But right now it feels like there’s far more hatred than friendship in the world.

It’s heartbreaking no matter who it is, or what the situation is like. But when those fighting are believers? I find it devastating.

As believers, we’re called to love one another. To remain united against all the hardships and attacks of the world. To encourage one another, and keep anyone from turning away from Christ.

When Christians are strong together, we’re strong anywhere. Through any situation. Truly amazing things happen when we’re united in close fellowship with God first of all – and also other believers.

But what does that close fellowship look like in practical terms? And how are we supposed to cultivate and nurture it, especially when we don’t agree with others on everything? What if our personalities clash, and spending too much time with someone actually annoys us or wears us out?

Not that that ever happens, right?

As I’m trying to focus more and more on developing close fellowship with the people around me, the most helpful thing I’ve found so far is to study Jesus’ example. He obviously didn’t agree with all the people around Him during His time on Earth, but when He sought to have fellowship with them anyway, He put their differences aside and focused on love.

Not the different way they interpreted Scripture. Not their personal lifestyle choices. Not all the ways they were wrong, and the sins Jesus knew they were committing. Yes, He pointed those things out often enough, but He also didn’t let those slow Him from showing them His love in every way He could. And many times, the love He showed led the person to see the truth anyway.

A lot of people rejected Him. But Jesus didn’t try to control their reactions, and neither should we. We can’t. What I’ve found time and time again, is that when I focus on loving someone; seeking to understand them and what they’ve been through to lead them to their conclusions, then fellowship grows as a result.

We still don’t agree on everything. But we also don’t have to. The core beliefs of salvation are most important. And the peace that enters my heart when I give a relationship to God, and ask Him to guide me in finding the right balance between honesty and love is such a blessing. Life just gets so much simpler with the Holy Spirit guiding us.

In addition to spending time in prayer, and studying Scriptures that remind me of how to be in good fellowship with others, I’ve often found it helpful to hear what other Christians have to say about the matter. So today, I thought I’d share ten of my favorite quotes about fellowship, with the prayer that they help you as much as they help me.

1. “Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes aren’t rubbed in but rubbed out. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.”
(Rick Warren)

2. “Aloneness can lead to loneliness. God’s preventative for loneliness is intimacy – meaningful, open, sharing relationships with one another. In Christ we have the capacity for the fulfilling sense of belonging which comes from intimate fellowship with God and with other believers.” 
(Neil T. Anderson)

3. “Some Christians try to go to heaven alone, in solitude. But believers are not compared to bears or lions or other animals that wander alone. Those who belong to Christ are sheep in this respect, that they love to get together. Sheep go in flocks, and so do God’s people.” 
(Charles Spurgeon)

4.“When a Christian shuns fellowship with other Christians, the devil smiles. When he stops studying the Bible, the devil laughs. When he stops praying, the devil shouts for joy.”  
(Corrie Ten Boom)

5. “There are many elements that go into the total concept of fellowship, as it is described in the New Testament, but the sharing together in suffering is one of the most profitable. It probably unites our hearts together in Christ more than any other aspect of fellowship.” 
(Jerry Bridges)

6. “Our love to God is measured by our everyday fellowship with others and the love it displays.”
(Andrew Murray)

7. “It goes against the grain to give an image of oneself that is anything less than perfect, and many Christians imagine that they will be rejected by others if they admit to any faults. But nothing could be more destructive to Christian koinonia (fellowship) than the common practice today of pretending not to have any problems.”
(Ray C. Stedman)

8. “The church exists primarily for two closely correlated purposes: to worship God and to work for his kingdom in the world…The church also exists for a third purpose, which serves the other two: to encourage one another, to build one another up in faith, to pray with and for one another, to learn from one another and teach one another, and to set one another examples to follow, challenges to take up, and urgent tasks to perform. This is all part of what is known loosely as fellowship.”
(N.T. Wright)

9. “To gather with God’s people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer.”
(Martin Luther)

10. “Be united with other Christians. A wall with loose bricks is not good. The bricks must be cemented together.”
(Corrie Ten Boom)

Whether you’re outgoing, quiet, a ‘people person’, or a person who struggles to be around people, we truly were created for fellowship. Yes, there are often challenges that stem from our friends, but life would be so much harder without them. In my own life, I’ve seen God work through the people around me countless times. Today, I pray that we’d be encouraged to be in fellowship in others, and that we’d never forget how important it is.

Did any of these quotes speak to you today? Go ahead and let me know your favorites in the comments, as well as if there is a certain topic you’d like to see more quotes about. While you’re there, I’d love to hear something YOU’RE learning about fellowship!

But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light,
we have fellowship with one another,
and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.
(1 John 1:7 NIV)

1. I previously talked about unity in my post here.

2. I shared more of my quote collection in many previous posts, which you can find here.

3. To receive your own printable pages of the above quotes (and the ones used in my other ‘Quotes’ posts), sign up for my email list! Simply fill in the form here, and I’ll send you PDF copies of the quote collections – as well as an inspirational short story. I look forward to hearing from you!

10 Timely Quotes About FellowshipWhy Reading Makes You a Better WriterWhat I’m Learning About Being Available

Why Reading Makes You a Better Writer

Hello and happy Wednesday!

Did you know that today is ‘Leave the Office Early Day’? Apparently it’s a real occasion, though I’m not sure how many workplaces actively observe it, haha.

But whether today is a shorter day of work or not, it’s got me thinking…when you have time off, what is it you most like to do? Let’s assume you’re completely caught up with everything else in your life (come on, we can dream for a moment). What is your idea of relaxing free time?

I find the variety of favorite hobbies and pastimes in the world fascinating. What some people find relaxing sounds like work that’s more stressful than an actual job to me. And some things I think are paradise sound like torture to others.

One of the few things I’ve found most people agree to be at least somewhat relaxing is reading.

Not everyone enjoys it of course, but the broad range of things to read makes it more popular than many other hobbies. There’s fiction, and within fiction, countless genres. Historical fiction, fantasy, science fiction, contemporary, mystery, thrillers…the list goes on and on. There seems to be something for everyone, no matter personal tastes.

And if you’re not so much a fiction person, but prefer non-fiction, there are countless options there too. Books from countless authors, topics ranging from how-to’s on nearly every subject and biographies/autobiographies about nearly every historical figure or popular influencer you can think of – and more.

And that’s not even including things like poetry, blog or newspaper articles, and other types of books such as cookbooks and instruction manuals (you do read them!). The point is, we never seem to be short on things to read, if we choose to. And for writers, reading is especially important.

Though there are writers that don’t care to read for one reason or another, it doesn’t seem to be the norm. Most writers are avid readers – and that’s a good thing! Reading the words of others – whether fiction or nonfiction – is one of the fastest ways to improve your own writing skills.

When it comes to fiction, writers can glean many things from reading books by other fiction authors. I’ve always heard that you should write the book you want to read. To do that, you need to know what kind of stories you like. What genres are your favorite? What common story elements, or ‘tropes’, do you especially enjoy? Do you have specific types of characters, settings, plots, or humor that you like to read about? All of those things will influence the types of stories you write.

And in addition to discovering the kind of stories, and the ‘bigger picture’ elements you enjoy most, you can look closer. If you like how realistic the characters in a story are, examine the way the author’s written them. If the worldbuilding feels immersive, check and see how the author accomplished it. If you appreciate the suspense and unexpected plot twists, look back and see how much foreshadowing the author did – and how much they kept secret.

This carries all the way down to nitty-gritty things, like writing styles, sentence structures, grammar interpretations, and dialogue punctuation. How do your favorite authors do it? Do you like the way they do it, and if so, why? Many people start their writing journeys by writing in a similar style to their favorite authors. As they continue to write, their own style will develop, but they may always be influenced by the styles of their writing ‘mentors’.

That’s definitely been true in my life. Looking back at my early writing, I can see how much my favorite childhood books1 influenced the way I wrote stories, and the types of stories I wrote often unashamedly mirrored the ones I was reading. Through the years, my writing style and the stories I’m most passionate about telling have emerged, but when in doubt, I still tend to fall back on styles similar to authors I admire.

And what about the writing and authors we…don’t admire so much? Well, thankfully for us, writers can learn from the things they read – even if they don’t care for them. If you read a truly terrible book, at least you’ve learned what not to do!

If a book’s characters all felt one-dimensional, study them. How could you have written them better? (This is actually a very helpful exercise. Try re-writing sections in popular books that you feel could have been improved, and see what you learn from the practice.)

If a world was confusing or a setting unclear, what were they missing? What kinds of details or descriptions did they have, and what kinds should they have added? Where in the story would they have been most helpful?

If the pacing or the story structure seemed to lag, look for sections they could have cut out or trimmed. Why weren’t those things necessary to the story? And if it felt hurried, what should they have added? What plot points should have been focused on for longer?

I’m grateful that I can’t recall ever reading an outright terrible novel, but there have definitely been ones I’ve been disappointed in. Whether it’s because of plot lines that were never resolved (or resolved badly…), supposed-to-be-likable characters that weren’t, or cringe-y dialogue, I’ve certainly learned some valuable lessons on what not to do.

This process of studying and learning from writing also applies to nonfiction. While you may not be reading about characters, plot lines, or new worlds, nonfiction has qualities and requirements all its own.

Since starting this blog, I’ve discovered many ways that nonfiction is different from fiction, and some that are similar. You’re still often telling stories, you use rhythm and careful structuring, and word choices are crucial. However, it’s done in a different – usually more concise (I have much to learn) – style. There are as many nuances and learning curves as with fiction, and the best way to learn about them is to read from other nonfiction authors.

If you’re ever stuck on a section in your writing, try thinking through (good) examples of how other authors have handled similar pieces. How did they seamlessly weave theme into their novel, make their characters unique, format their paragraphs, or choose words that give clear mental pictures?

What if nothing comes to mind? Then go spend some time hunting through your favorite books for good examples. Not to plagiarize of course, but to draw inspiration and to study why their approach worked well. This strategy has helped me many times, and it’s one of the first things I try when I just can’t seem to write well, or when I need inspiration.

And lastly, if nothing else, reading is excellent at inspiring us to write our own pieces (assuming we don’t allow ourselves to procrastinate by reading of course). A constant stream of material ensures that our minds are always working, always puzzling over plot twists, analyzing descriptions, and learning what believable characters look like – even if we don’t realize it’s happening.

If you can’t find the motivation to work on your novel or article, try taking a break and reading some materials similar to yours. As is often the case for me, you might soon find yourself itching to get back to your writing! And the new input of ideas may help you break past any places you were stuck.

Cautionary note: always carefully examine the new ideas that pop up right after absorbing other materials. Drawing inspiration is wonderful, but I know well how easy it is to accidentally copy things we shouldn’t. If we don’t want to risk people claiming we’ve ripped off the other material (which we may have…), it’s better to be safe and cautious.

So no matter what you write – fiction or nonfiction or anything in between – reading is beneficial. Reading inside your genre, outside your genre, just to relax, or reading with pen and notepad in hand…it all influences our own material. It all contributes to the mental treasure trove of writing information we’ve collected. And it all has the potential to make our own writing even better.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my bookshelf is calling my name.

Thankfully for me, I have yet to find any real flaws with liking to read, haha. Not only is it often entertaining, inspiring, educational, and a relaxing way to spend free time – but I’ve definitely noticed that it carries into my writing too. Even poorly written books can be a valuable learning tool (as for how not to write). So with that considered, off I go to read!

What are YOUR thoughts on how reading affects writing? In your own experience, has reading helped or hindered your writing journey? How? I’d love to find out what you think, so let me know in the comments!

1. I recently shared some of my favorite childhood books, which can be found here.

2. I talked about some of the books I’m hoping to read this year, here.

Recent Posts:

Why Reading Makes You a Better WriterWhat I’m Learning About Being Available100-for-100 (Benefits of Writing Challenges)

What I’m Learning About Being Available

Life is pretty crazy sometimes, isn’t it?

Mine certainly is anyway, and I’m guessing yours is too.

Perhaps especially after a year like 2020, haha.

Oddly enough, I never experienced this thing called ‘boredom’ that some people dealt with last year. While many events outside home were canceled, staying inside kept me just as busy. One of the perks of homeschooling is that my family has never needed to have ‘snow days’ or anything of the sort. Life continued full steam ahead.

And it continues. So far in 2021, it’s grown even more busy as outside events are added back into the schedule – in addition to the things I was already working on. And it’s been a bit stressful at times. This weekend has been the first time since January that I’ve gotten to slow down a little and try to catch up on things. Holiday weekends are such blessings.

Amidst the hectic schedule and constant race to stay on top of life’s demands, I’ve been noticing something much more than I did previously – which is how much I appreciate when people aren’t in a hurry.

Yes, that probably sounds hypocritical. But I think it’s because I see such a difference between my own behavior and that of certain others. I’ve been reminded lately of how important it is to remain available.

In all kinds of ways. To talk, to listen, to offer advice, to visit, to help…it all comes down to having the time and the willingness to do those things. But when our days are packed full and our schedules are spilling over, then how are we supposed to do them?

I struggle with this. Especially because I’m not just ‘busy’ with my own hobbies and fun activities. If I start cutting things out, it will quickly mean I’m not working, or helping my family, or similar good things. And at the same time, I know I’ve missed opportunities to be there for people that need it.

Where’s the balance? No person can be there for everyone. It’s impossible. We’re to reach out to those God calls us to, and to serve the people God lays on our hearts. But what if we’re not available enough for even them? And how are we supposed to know who’s who?

Over the past few months, as I’ve been hyper-aware of how some other people make themselves available to others, I’ve grown to appreciate them so much more. It’s not that they’re not busy – on the contrary! – but they’re also willing and open to God directing them in a different path than they’d planned.

And I’ve realized that it’s often the little things that make such a big difference.

I’m someone who appreciates quiet quality time with one person far more than energetic time with lots of people. I love people in general of course, and I still enjoy interacting in groups of them. But at the end of the day, or when I’m feeling tired or overwhelmed, I’d much rather enjoy a calm conversation with someone I know well.

When someone is willing to slow down or stay late and be with me longer, it means a lot. It communicates that they really care. And it shows that – even though I know they have plenty of other things they could or perhaps should be doing – they value me more highly. It’s extremely humbling, and I remember each of those instances for a long time.

Some of the most meaningful, touching conversations I’ve ever had couldn’t have happened if either of us had been in a rush to get to the next thing. If we hadn’t had those few extra moments to offer one another. And while I don’t believe I’ve offered much, those people and those conversations have certainly been huge blessings to me.

But not just conversations. When there’s time for them, that’s wonderful of course. But something as small as a compliment, a smile, or an encouraging email or text mean so much. And I’ve found that there’s really no excuse for not offering those things.

A bad habit I’m currently trying to break is believing that unless I have a huge chunk of time to offer, I don’t have any time at all. But that’s just not true! Lately, I’ve been trying very hard to be intentional about seizing even a couple of scattered minutes throughout the day to reach out to people.

While waiting for dinner to cook, I can do a puzzle with my sibling. When I have a few extra minutes after an event, I can stay and help clean up. During my lunch hour at work, I can text a friend and let them know I’m thinking of and praying for them.

For me, it’s not always cutting out things, but redeeming the time I already have. Because despite all the things I have going on, I’ve found that there are still a lot of opportunities I’ve disregarded or wasted on things that don’t matter. Distractions are everywhere and boy am I prone to focusing on them…

And when needed, I’ve cut things out, too. Like back in April, when I allowed myself to sign up for half a dozen writing projects/challenges, in an already packed month of work, family, and other obligations. They were all things I’d enjoy, but I quickly discovered that the stress and brimming workload just weren’t possible. While I did manage some of them, thankfully I was able to drop out of the rest without harming any of the other participants.

Learning a valuable lesson in the meantime, I might add. I’m probably still doing more than I should be, but I am trying to improve at only taking on what’s realistic, and what still allows me to time to be available for the people around me.

Because in the end, nothing is more rewarding than knowing you were there for someone when they needed you. To listen, to chat, to offer your own experience, or to simply give them a genuine hug. Maybe they were in need of a meal, or someone to help them clean, or do yardwork – and you had time to help them. There’s so much joy to be found in that.

And as for knowing who we’re meant to be available for – since it’s just impossible for one person to be there for everyone – that’s something I have yet to figure out entirely. The best I know, and perhaps it’s all I need to know, is that God knows exactly which people need our love. He knows when, how, and who we’re meant to be available for. Our role is to focus on listening to His guidance – and not be afraid to act on the nudges we feel.

The times I’ve felt God nudge me, and when I’ve then set other things aside to be there for others, have been the times when I’ve heard I was able to bless them most. God was able to work through me and impact their lives, and as far as I can tell, there is no greater feeling than knowing we’ve been used by God to bring light. To bring peace, love, and hope.

Most of the time, we may not even hear that we made a positive impact on others. But if we’re following God’s guidance, we can be sure that He’s working through us for good.

It’s a delicate balance…doing the things we need to do, and also making room to be available and present in others’ lives. I’ve definitely not figured out the right one yet. But I’ve seen God work in amazing ways through the smallest and most impromptu moments – and I want to be in on that. I want to not merely be on the receiving end of their love, but on the giving side too.

Are you the same way? Do you want to find that balance, and be available for those around you?

Then please know that I’m praying for us both today.

Praying that we’d be listening for God’s voice, that we’d be open to hearing Him, and that we’d be willing to do whatever He asks.

Praying that we’d know when and how to make ourselves available to the people around us…the people that so desperately need a helping hand, an honest smile, and a meaningful conversation.

Praying for us to be more and more like Jesus, who responded so full of grace and compassion to everyone who needed Him, even when He was interrupted or weary.

And praying that we’d never stop striving to be a blessing everywhere we are.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 
not looking to your own interests
but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another,
have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…
(Philippians 2:3-5a NIV)

1.I talked about what I’m learning about rest, here.

2. I wrote about reaching out to others, here.

Recent Posts:

What I’m Learning About Being Available100-for-100 (Benefits of Writing Challenges)5 Tips for Giving (and Receiving) Critiques

100-for-100 (Benefits of Writing Challenges)

Hello and happy Wednesday!

First off, perhaps you noticed that my usual Sunday blog post was missing last week. No, that wasn’t planned – simply a matter of life piling up and me being too exhausted to focus on writing it. I figured it would be better for me to wait and write a cohesive post than to rush and not have it make any sense, haha. The blog schedule should be back to normal from here on out.

And while we’re on the topic of writing and time management (we are on that topic, aren’t we?), I thought I would share the latest writing challenge I’ll be taking part in this year! My hope is that you’ll consider joining as well.

Said writing challenge is the 100-for-100 writing challenge, hosted by the wonderful authors over at GoTeenWriters.com. You can learn all about it and how to join by clicking on that link to their site, but to give you a general idea, the challenge is simply to write 100 words a day, every day, for 100 days.

Notice I said simply, not easily.

Starting May 31st, you’re to pick one project and write at least 100 words every day in it. If you finish that project, you can pick another one to work on for the remainder of the challenge, and so on. The goal is to make solid progress on your writing projects, and also to build habits that will help you continue to reach your goals, even after the challenge is over.

Now, 100 words may not seem like much. It’s only about a paragraph, and can usually be completed in ten minutes or less. I think just about anybody can squeeze ten minutes out of their day, regardless of how busy your schedule is. Of course, writing 100 words often leads to writing more than that, but even if you only do the bare minimum, by September 7th (the 100th day), you’ll have 10,000 words written!

However, if you’ve never taken part in a writing challenge like this, or aren’t in the habit of writing every day, this may sound intimidating. Don’t worry, I get it. Though I’ve improved over the years, it’s still difficult for me to make myself focus on writing for even ten minutes sometimes. Distractions have a way of sucking away every last minute of our free time, unless we’re very intentional about guarding them.

So should you try this challenge or not? Well, here are some benefits to consider.

Any Progress is Progress

Maybe you don’t know if you’ll be able to manage writing 100 words daily for the entire challenge. Believe me, I understand. With everything I have going on this summer, I don’t know if I’ll manage it either. But any progress is progress! It’s not an all or nothing challenge. Do what you can, keep working at it, and don’t beat yourself up if you miss days. Any words written are words you may not have written otherwise!

The challenge also does allow for one ‘grace day’ per week, and one entire ‘grace week’. So if you don’t meet that goal of 100 words a day, or 700 words for the week, just count up what you have, claim those days as your grace days, and keep going! Life happens, and one of our greatest challenges as writers is to keep writing around it. You may not reach your goal all the time, and that’s okay. Progress is progress!

Build Habits

With that being said, the more days we reach our goals, the more motivated we get to continue that streak. I personally have a much harder time procrastinating or letting myself miss a day when I know that my calendar, writing journal, or Excel spreadsheet will then show an empty space where my wordcount should be. There’s just something about seeing that uninterrupted string of wordcounts or symbols that can be great encouragement to keep it going!

As you continue, your writing habit will grow stronger and stronger! The best times to write varies for everyone. Some write best in the early morning, others excel at night, and still others prefer to squeeze it in midday, or to write in little spurts throughout the day. The point is to find what works best for you, and then continue to develop that habit. Starting with a very manageable goal of 100 words is a fantastic way to grow in that habit, and the more you stick to it, the easier it will be to continue. Writers write!

Community and Accountability

One of my favorite things about writing challenges like this is that I know I’m not alone. There are plenty of other people working toward the same goal as me, struggling with the same time constraints, and figuring out ways to meet their wordcounts anyway. Go Teen Writers is such an encouraging community, and it’s an added blessing to get to work hard at something like this with others supporting you.

It’s also an excellent way to stay accountable. At the end of the 100 days, you send in your spreadsheet (they have one you can download on their page), or your record of how much you wrote each day, and if you’ve reached the goal, they’ll add your name to the list on their website of people ‘that totally rock’. It’s just another reason to do your best and stay motivated to work on your manuscript over those 100 days! Wouldn’t it be neat to see your name on that list (you totally rock anyway, but still…)?

Whether you’ve done plenty of writing challenges before or none, if you’d like to make steady progress on your writing projects and develop some good habits, I’d highly recommend jumping in on this. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? At worst, you’d at least write some words, and at best, you could write a lot. Though I don’t know what my summer will look like, I’m going to give this my best shot, and I’m looking forward to the extra push to work on my projects!

Once again, here’s the link to head over and learn more/sign up for this challenge: Hi, I’m the link! If you do sign up, feel free to post in the comments below and tell me! I’d love to be your cheerleader as you embark on the journey.

Also, let me know, have you done any writing challenges before? If so, did you enjoy them, or not so much? What have you found most helpful in developing good writing habits? I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

1. Last year, I wrote a series of posts about my experience doing NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month – another challenge!). You can find those posts here.

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5 Tips for Giving (and Receiving) Critiques

Hello and happy Wednesday!

As you can probably already tell, today’s post is about . . . critiques.

Critiques (or feedback, beta-reading, etc.) is a common and crucial part of any writer’s life. Without the valuable insights from readers, authors have next to no way of knowing what they’re doing right in their stories, and what they’re doing wrong.

Is that character likeable? Does that plot twist make sense? What about that dialogue – does it sound realistic? Will this ending leave readers wanting more, or will they be glad the story’s finally over?

Authors need honest – and objective – people to answer those questions for them if they want to craft good stories. Editing stories yourself only takes you so far.

But there’s no doubt about it, critiquing is hard.

If you’re the one critiquing an author’s work, how best should you go about it? Should you be detailed or give general feedback? What do you focus on? How can you give your honest opinions without offending or hurting them?

And what if you’re the author? What should you do when you receive negative feedback? Should you cut the character or tweak the plotline that you love because someone else didn’t love it? What if the critiques are overly positive and make you feel good, but aren’t actually helpful?

Over the past few years, I’ve had the privilege of being involved in several great writing communities, and have had many chances to be on both sides of the critiquing equation. Giving critiques used to be very stressful for me, and receiving them was often crippling. I knew I needed the feedback and was grateful for it, but…couldn’t my stories just be perfect without the painful cutting and tweaking?

At this point in my writing journey, I can confirm that that’s not the case. Ever. For anyone. And I’ve learned just how necessary critiques are for authors. If you’re the critiquer, you may never realize the true impact your comments and suggestions will have on the author’s story (if you’re also an author, you’ll notice your own writing growing stronger as you help others with theirs!). The value of that feedback can’t be overstated.

Another set of eyes reading those pages often picks up so much that the author missed. A fresh mind will often catch those plot holes and inconsistencies that slipped past the author. And another voice of encouragement and help is often just what the author needed to believe in themselves, and to continue working on their story.

So today, I thought I’d share my best tips for both giving and receiving critiques. As always, I’m no expert, but I’ve strived to improve and learn more about being on both sides, and the following advice has greatly assisted me. I hope these tips are helpful to you as well – or at least inspire you to get critiquing!

Choose Your Focus

First of all, critiquers – keep in mind where the author would like you to focus in your critique. Which aspects of the story are they looking for the most feedback on? Are they at the story development stage and want your thoughts on character and plot, or are they looking for line edits or proofreads that focus more on sentence structure and/or grammar?

Offering a critique of all the punctuation issues when they really wanted your opinion on a plot twist just isn’t helpful. And it’s often a waste of both of your time, since the material will still be edited, and the exact sentences will be subject to heavy change. Never be afraid to ask where the author would most appreciate your focus!

And authors, communicate with your critiquers, and ask them to zero in on the areas you’re looking for the most help with. I often request for them to share their reactions as they’re reading. Even just short phrases like, “Oh no!” or “Aww,” can be helpful in knowing what emotions I’m drawing from readers. Another good idea can be to make a list of questions about the material they’re critiquing, and ask them to answer honestly. These can be about anything you want feedback on, in case they wouldn’t mention those things otherwise.

Be Open to Change

If you’re the one giving the critique, it may be tempting to ‘be nice’, and refrain from giving your honest thoughts about things you feel should be changed. But isn’t that what you’re critiquing for? To point out aspects of the story that you don’t feel work well?

I struggle with this a lot when I’m critiquing, but after being on the author’s side of critiques, I’ve learned that receiving the tougher feedback is just as important as receiving the fluffy opinions – if not more. A story can’t improve and an author can’t grow in their writing until those things are pointed out. If you’ll pardon an analogy, the garment can still look nice, but it will never be stunning until its wrinkles are ironed out.

And authors, I know well that receiving suggestions to change things in your story is hard. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel hurt. Give yourself some time to process your emotions, distance yourself from the story for a day, and come back to the suggestions when you’re feeling fresh. While you have the ultimate say for your work and aren’t required to change anything, it’s always a good idea to consider others’ opinions – especially if multiple people point out the same issues. The best changes I’ve made to my stories have been ones that I resisted at first, but I’m so glad for them now!

You Don’t Need to Change

With that being said, authors rarely will and seldom should change everything critiquers point out, or tweak at every suggestion. There may be unseen factors that render seemingly odd things necessary for later in the story, or maybe the suggestion – from character tweaks to sentence structuring – just isn’t what the author wants to do. The suggestions are still extremely helpful, even just for the author to contemplate, but critiquers, don’t be offended if they aren’t all implemented.

And authors, don’t feel pressured to change every little thing based on what the critiquers suggest. Yes, at least openly consider them, but the ultimate decision is yours. You know where you want your story to go, and you know the reason you had behind putting that detail, that plot twist, or that line of dialogue in there. Every critiquer will have different tastes, and you can’t please everyone. If you try, chances are that your story will end up more theirs than yours.

The hardest yet most crucial part is figuring out which suggestions will make the story stronger, and which ones are matters of personal preference and can be considered and then set aside if they don’t match the story you’re trying to tell. Put careful thought into what you’re trying to communicate through the story, and keep reminding yourself of it!

Give Sandwiches

No, not actual sandwiches, unless you’re physically close to the author and know that they’ve been holed in their rooms all day without food. Unless that’s the case, I’m talking about ‘critique sandwiches’. Critiques can be very hard to take, even if you’ve tried to prepare yourself for them. It’s difficult to hear that any part of your beloved story is faulty (even when you know deep down that it’s true).

So critiquers, try to sandwich those ‘harsher’ comments with uplifting – and genuine – ones. Before you express your annoyance at their main character’s whiny narrative voice, point out how much you admire that character’s willingness to fight for their family, or their humility, or the fact that they have a strong narrative voice in the first place, etc. Always try to end critiques on a good note, reminding the author of things you honestly enjoyed. Even in the roughest of excerpts, there’s always something you can find to compliment.

Finding a balance between feedback that’s too watered down (“Oh, it was all great. I loved it. Really good.”) or too ‘mean’ (“That’s ridiculous. I don’t think that’s realistic. Your characters are like cardboard.”) can be tough. But generally, pointing out two things you enjoyed for every one that you didn’t is a good way to be helpful without being harsh.

Don’t Be Afraid to Give Details

Do you want to make the author you’re critiquing for happy? Give them all the details of your reading experience! What are your favorite or least favorite characters? Which moments made you laugh, cry, gasp, or smile? Did anything make you mad? Did something inspire you? Do you have theories about what happened after ‘The End’? Did a certain sentence strike you as especially beautiful or creatively written?

Though every writer is different, most are thrilled at the chance to have an ‘inside look’ at your mind as you read their story. And hearing some of your thoughts and reactions can be very helpful in knowing how to edit. For example, a scene that was supposed to draw tears but actually just made you cringe. Or a character intended for comic relief that only annoyed you. Knowing how the aspects of their stories actually come across is crucial.

And authors, don’t ever forget to thank your critiquers! Properly and thoughtfully critiquing someone else’s work (no matter the length) takes a lot of time and careful consideration. It’s not easy, so if someone has volunteered to do it for you, don’t skimp on showing them your gratitude. Just as you need to know what they thought of your story, they need to know that you appreciate the favor they’ve just done for you – so tell them!

Well, those are five of my best tips for giving (and receiving) helpful critiques. Though it may be challenging, it can also be extremely rewarding for both parties involved. If you’re looking to read and help out with a story, I definitely recommend either offering to critique for someone, or, if you have a story needing feedback, try searching out people willing to critique. It’ll be worth it!

Did you find any of these tips helpful? Are there any you don’t like using? What are YOUR best tips for giving or receiving critiques? I’d love the chance to learn from you – so let me know your thoughts in the comments!

1.Previously, I’ve shared some of my best tips for writing dialogue, writing villains., and writing descriptions. Just click on the links to read them!

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5 Tips for Giving (and Receiving) Critiques10 Convicting Quotes About ForgivenessWhat Poetry Means to Me

10 Convicting Quotes About Forgiveness

Forgiveness is hard.

Like me, you’ve probably heard countless times that forgiving is the right thing to do. Harboring grudges and resentment is one of the fastest ways to illness, both physical and mental. It can affect every aspect of our lives, and leave us hardened, critical, harsh, and stuck in the past.

And on the flip side, forgiving others is one of the fastest ways to experience peace. When we choose to forgive one another, just as Christ has forgiven us, we’re blessed. We experience the freedom of only holding ourselves accountable for our own actions – and not trying to keep track of others’. Forgiveness allows God to work powerfully in our lives.

One quote I use often when talking about forgiveness is this:
‘Unforgiveness is drinking poison, expecting it to kill someone else.’

No good will ever come from unforgiveness. Ever.

But forgiving can sometimes feel impossible. Especially if the person in question feels no remorse for hurting us.

How are we supposed to forgive someone who seems to enjoy causing us pain? Why should we forgive when we only feel like holding onto our grudges? What do we do if we manage to forgive – and they grieve us yet again?

People aren’t perfect. Definitely not me. Not you. Not anyone else in this world. So this side of Heaven, relationships and interactions with one another won’t be perfect either. We’ll hurt each other and say things we shouldn’t say and do things we shouldn’t do. If we refuse to move past those moments, we’ll never grow and we can never have fellowship.

But fellowship is important. A life without close relationships is a sad one indeed. We all crave companionship and friendship. And you can’t have that unless you’re willing to forgive. Even when it’s hard.

I struggle to forgive when someone hurts me deeply. 1 However, I know that I don’t want to live a life of grudges and wallowing in my bitterness. I need God’s help to live in peace and fellowship with others – even if we hurt each other.

And thankfully, God is not slow to help us with that task. In fact, He wants to. He’s ready and waiting for us to seek Him, and to ask for His help in forgiving those who’ve hurt us.

In addition to lots of prayer and intentional dwelling on Scriptures that remind and encourage me to forgive, I’ve found it very helpful to hear what other Christians have to say about letting go of grudges. So today, I thought I’d share ten of my favorite quotes about forgiveness, with the prayer that they move you as much as they move me.

1. “First, it is utterly inappropriate for one who knows the joy and release of being forgiven to refuse to share that blessing with another. Second, it is highly presumptuous to refuse to forgive one whom Christ Himself has already forgiven.”
(NT Wright)

2. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
(Lewis B. Smedes)

3. “Forgiveness is manifested mercy; it is love in action – not love based on a feeling, but love based on a decision, an intentional choice to obey God.”
(Joyce Meyers)

4. “The love of Jesus Christ covers your sins, and it also gives you the power to let other people off the hook. You’ve been forgiven, and you can forgive others.”
(Rick Warren)

5. “Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.”
(Phillips Brooks)

6. “You will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you.”
(Max Lucado)

7. “By forgiving the hurt and disappointments of your past, you release it from holding onto you in your future, and hindering your progress.”
(Eric Watterson)

8. “If you have ever seen a country church with a bell in the steeple, you will remember that to get the bell ringing you have to tug awhile. Once it has begun to ring, you merely maintain the momentum. As long as you keep pulling, the bell keeps ringing. Forgiveness is letting go of the rope. It is just that simple. But when you do so, the bell keeps ringing. Momentum is still at work. However, if you keep your hands off the rope, the bell will begin to slow and eventually stop.”
(Corrie Ten Boom)

9. “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
(C. S. Lewis)

10. “If Jesus forgave those who nailed Him to the cross, and if God forgives you and me, how can you withhold your forgiveness from someone else?”
(Anne Graham Lotz)

There’s no point in denying it – forgiveness is hard. It’s painful, it’s messy, and it’s usually the last thing we want to do in our relationships with people who’ve hurt us. But it’s also necessary. For healing. For hope. And for having an intimate relationship with God, and other people. Just as God has forgiven us, He will give us the strength to forgive others, if we only ask. Today, I pray that you and I wouldn’t ever hesitate to ask Him for that strength.

Did any of these quotes speak to you today? Go ahead and let me know your favorites in the comments, as well as if there is a certain topic you’d like to see more quotes about. While you’re there, I’d love to hear something YOU’RE learning about forgiveness!

Bear with each other and forgive one another
if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
(Colossians 3:13 NIV)

1. I talked about forgiving in my post here.

2. I shared more of my quote collection in many previous posts, which you can find here.

3. To receive your own printable pages of the above quotes (and the ones used in my other ‘Quotes’ posts), sign up for my email list! Simply fill in the form here, and I’ll send you PDF copies of the quote collections – as well as an inspirational short story. I look forward to hearing from you!

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What Poetry Means to Me

Hello and happy Wednesday!

Also, happy Limerick Day!

No, I didn’t know it was an actual day either. Until recently, that is, and I thought it’d be a good opportunity to talk about one of my favorite forms of writing: poetry!

Growing up, I had a mixed view of poetry. I liked reading it, but only if it was ‘fun’ poetry. It had to rhyme, have a bouncy rhythm, and be something easy to understand. Free verse was a foreign concept to me, and a style I viewed as ‘weird’. While most poetry-loving people discussed deep, classic poems, I was far more interested in…well, Dr. Seuss!

I also loved writing poems, and they almost always fit the qualifications above. One of my favorite things was to write friends and family members little poems about them for their birthdays. Short, sweet, and always with a rhyming scheme.

If I sat down with the intent of writing a poem, I could rarely write anything worthwhile. But if I decided I should write someone a poem and then continued going about my normal day, sooner or later the perfect wording and rhythm would just come to me. The poems I was most satisfied with were often the ones written half an hour before I gave them, haha.

As I’ve gotten older, the subject matter in the poems I write has gotten – dare I say it – deeper. Poetry is often the outlet I seek when I’m struggling with some hardship, some overwhelming emotion, or some tough decision. And because of that, my poems are far more personal now than they were when I was younger.

Very rarely do I share my poems, and I don’t plan to ever share the most personal ones. Reading back through some of them, I can still feel the emotional rawness of when I wrote them – whether I’ve healed from that struggle or not.

Someone else would probably not understand or be moved by those words, but to me, at those points in my life, those poems were almost prayers. Often, words to express what I wanted to ask or tell God came easier within a poem than if I were to verbalize them.

And that’s one of the beauties of poetry, I think.

Though not everyone enjoys writing or reading poetry (and that’s okay!), for those that do, it can be very healing. For me, it’s a way to be creative, while still ‘journaling’ or working through my thoughts and emotions. Drawing from my life while writing novels or short stories is similar, but there’s just something about poetry for me that works especially well.

It seems to be the perfect balance between fiction and non-fiction sometimes. It’s the truth, but not stated in clear facts like in a journal or a diary. I can chronicle the things that are happening to me and how I’m responding to them, but by in a way that speaks volumes in far fewer words – and without my inner perfectionist/critic hounding me like it does when I write fiction stories. It’s far easier letting myself relax and write ‘messy’ poetry than it is letting myself write ‘messy’ fiction.

Fiction, journaling, poetry…I love them all for different reasons, and when I need something calm and soothing to do, poetry is the style I turn to first.

Especially in recent years, I’ve experimented more and more with various styles of poetry – including the free verse I thought was so weird before. And I love it. I love using different styles depending on the tone I’m trying to create and the meaning I’m striving to create. I love seeing the rhythm develop, until reading it feels almost like dancing.

And I enjoy reading poetry a lot more now too. Still not as much as writing it, but I think that’s because it’s just so personal to me. I will never fully be able to understand what drove the other person to write a poem, so – even though I enjoy them greatly – I don’t think theirs will ever mean as much to me as my own. And I know others likely feel the same way.

Poetry is so unique to each and every one of us. We’re each going to relate to, be touched by, and write very different poems simply because of who we are. What we’ve been through. What our personal tastes are. Where we are in life’s stages.

Knowing that there are backstories has made reading others’ poetry even more meaningful for me too, even if I don’t understand the full story behind it. And of course, in addition to emotional poems, I still enjoy the ‘fun’ ones, written purely to amuse. My specific taste in poems seems to change with my mood, so I’m glad there’s so much well-written poetry circulating now!

In honor of the poetry-occasion, I thought I’d share a handful of my own, more polished poems with you today. All various styles, written at various stages in my life, and with a variety of different themes. These are more difficult to share than my other writing, I suppose because they’re messier and more personal. But I hope they touch you anyway, and that you’re inspired to share your own poetry (or your favorites of others’), if you’d like!

(Written when I was 13)

Hope in the Darkness

When my life meets hardships,
and when nothing seems the same,

When tears fall daily from my eyes,
and there’s nothing left but pain,

It helps to know that Jesus
has been through it all before.

He can help to mend my heart
and fix the part that’s torn.

He loves me and accepts me,
and He’ll help me learn to cope,

Because when all that’s left is darkness,
Jesus Christ is hope.

(Written when I was 14)

Seasons

Spring is such a cheerful time,
where flowers, grass, and trees,
are blooming into colors
with the help of buzzing bees.

Summer sun shines all around,
and children laugh and play.
Blue skies overhang above,
and songbirds chirp away.

Autumn brings a grand new view,
with leaves red, orange, and gold,
and all the fuzzy creatures bed
to ward away the cold.

Winter is a wonderland,
and all is frosted white.
The air is crisp and strings your nose
and eggs your appetite.

Though every one is different,
and though sometimes we say,
“I wish this one would leave us!”
or, “I’m moving far away!”
be thankful for each time of year,
for the time our Father took.
There’s beauty in each season,
if you’ll only stop and look.

(Written when I was 17)

“I’m Fine”

I’m fine can mean so much.

It can mean I’m really tired.
It can mean I’m feeling sad.
It can mean I’m missing someone.

It can mean I’m really lonely.
It can mean I’m feeling lost.
It can mean I’m not myself.

It can mean I’m really hurt.
It can mean I’m feeling betrayed.
It can mean I’m falling short.

It can mean I’m really nervous.
It can mean I’m feeling forgotten.
It can mean I’m insecure.

I’m fine can mean so much.

(Written when I was 17 – for a poetry challenge. Perspective: an older gentleman caring for his wife, whom has Alzheimer’s.)

I Love You, Darling

I love you, Darling,
even though you don’t remember me,
because I remember falling in love with you.

I love your eyes,
even though they don’t recognize me,
because I remember gazing into them for hours.

I love your smile,
even though you don’t smile at me,
because I remember how it melted my heart.

I love your laugh,
even though you don’t laugh for me,
because I remember doing anything to hear it.

I love your voice,
even though you don’t use it,
because I remember how you said my name.

I love your hands,
even though you don’t hold mine,
because I remember vowing to never let go.

I love your strength,
even though you’re frail,
because I remember wishing I was as strong as you.

I love your heart,
even though it’s failing,
because I remember marveling at your compassion.

I love you, Darling,
even though you don’t love me,
because I remember – you did.

And I love you, Darling,
even though you’ve forgotten me,
because I could never forget you.

(Written when I was 17)

What If?

What if we showed more love
To that new kid in our group
To that employee in the store
To that friend who drives us nuts
What if we showed more love?

What if we showed more grace
To that driver who cut us off
To that teen who rolls her eyes
To that salesman who won’t leave
What if we showed more grace?

What if we showed more faith
When the cash won’t pay the bills
When the children catch the flu
When the rain pours through the roof
What if we showed more faith?

What if we showed more Christ
When at work or when at home
When with friends or all alone
When we’re happy or we’re sad
What if we showed more Christ?

What if others noticed
Our deep love for all we meet
Our unending gifts of grace
Our unwavering stance of faith
Our Savior shine through us
What if others noticed?

Well, there you have a few of my – rambling – thoughts on poems. Poetry has always meant a lot to me, and it’s been a soothing way to process my own thoughts and emotions when I don’t know how else to do it. I’ve enjoyed venturing back down memory lane today… Thanks for joining me on the trip!

What are YOUR thoughts on poetry? Do you enjoy reading it, or not so much? If you write poetry, what has your experience been like? I’d love to hear from you, so let me know in the comments below – and feel free to share some of your favorite poetry (including your own) while you’re there!

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Celebrating Mothers

What I’m about to say is quite possibly one of the most controversial statements I’ve ever put on my site.

My mother is the best mother in the entire world.

I know, I know, you may think differently. That tends to happen. When it comes to mothers, there seems to be an unspoken rule that everyone can agree to disagree about which are the best. We’re hardly objective after all.

So your mother can keep her ‘Best Mother in the World’ coffee mug – and mine could keep the one I’d give her if she actually liked coffee (to say she doesn’t is an understatement).

In all seriousness though…for someone who spends much of her time writing, I struggle to even find the words to describe my mother half as well as she deserves. Some people may claim their mothers are perfect, but I won’t claim that. Instead, the fact that she’s not – the fact that she hurts and is tempted, that she gets stressed and struggles with life – and is still so incredible is impossibly inspiring to me.

Growing up, I took for granted the childhood and the parents God blessed me with. Not in any extreme, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that the childhood I experienced is not the normal. Instead, I’ve heard numerous heartbreaking stories and seen the harsh effects on people whose mothers weren’t present. Weren’t loving. Weren’t interested.

It’s a broken world, filled with broken people. And that’s just one reason I’m so grateful to God for blessing me with the mom He did. Rather than being a source of grief, she’s been a support, a comfort, and an inspiration in the midst of life’s griefs.

Through every loss. Every obstacle. Every crisis. No matter what I need – whether encouragement or advice or just a hug – I can always trust that she’s there for me.

And I know I’m not always an easy person to be there for.

Looking back, I cringe at my child self, haha. I was a wild creature. A blonde fireball of energy, determination, and strong will – and very few listening skills. A handful if ever there was one.

With the years, I’ve mellowed energy-wise, but I know my will, my opinions, and my personality have made life challenging for my parents often enough. I can’t imagine parenting myself, haha.

More and more though, especially recently, I’ve been able to look back and examine events in my life more objectively. Without the angsty teenage filter I was viewing life through at the time. And as I’ve continued to do that, I’ve also continued to gain more respect, love, appreciation, and thankfulness for both of my parents.

I don’t know how they’ve managed it, but they have. They’ve been amazing. And still are.

With today being Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about how my mom has blessed and influenced my life. I’ve taken time to reflect on all the things she’s taught me – about God, about people, about work…about every aspect of life on this crazy planet. And just as I am every time I stop and dwell on how God’s worked through her, I’m awed.

And I’m so glad and so grateful that God let her be my mother. That I can be her daughter.

Where would I be without all the things she’s taught me?

She’s taught me to give generously.

No matter what, I know I can always count on my mom to help people. Be it through giving meals, money, time, household items, hugs – you name it – my mom will give it to you if she thinks it can be of any help. While she’s not frivolous, and she doesn’t give away too much to allow her to care for her own family, she trusts God.

She doesn’t agonize over whether she should really help others through giving. She just gives, and God has blessed that giving by continuing to provide everything we need and more. Through her willingness to bless others through giving, she’s shown me what true generosity looks like in action. I pray I’ll follow her example.

She’s taught me to remain faithful.

My mom is a rock, okay. And before you think I mean that in a bad way, let me clarify. She’s always there when I need her. She’s always ready and willing to help, to give advice, to do the right thing, and to comfort and encourage. When I need one of those things, I never have to fret over whether she’ll be there for me.

Do we agree on everything? Nope. I don’t always agree with the advice she gives me (even though it has a strange way of being completely right…), but especially when it comes to the things that really count, I know that she will be there for me. I know she and my dad will stay together, and I know she will never leave us as long as the choice is hers to make. I know that she is striving to follow God and glorify Him with each moment of her life.

She’s taught me to work hard.

My mom is one of the hardest workers I have ever seen. If something needs to be done, she’ll do it. She’ll do it well, and she won’t rest until it’s finished. Baking or cooking (without recipes is her specialty), gardening, fixing things, cleaning, building, caring for others, crafting…it doesn’t matter what the task is. She’ll give it her all.

Even if it’s hard. Sweaty. Filthy. When she’s on the job, you can rest assured knowing she’s going to do her very best – and her very best is phenomenal. In fact, it’s the getting her to stop helping people so much and recharge that can be problematic sometimes. Days like Mothers’ Day are convenient times to take over her duties and spoil her as she deserves.

She’s taught me to love deeply.

Over the years, I’ve seen how much my mom loves people. People she’s related to, people she’s just met, people she agrees with, people she doesn’t…whoever it is, she loves them with Christlike love. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m always inspired by the way she will set aside her own discomfort, her own desires and impulses – and just do whatever it takes to make that person feel loved.

Whether that’s through serving them, encouraging them, comforting them, giving to them, simply being with them, or anything else that person may need at that moment, she’s willing. And it’s such a good reminder to me to set myself aside and put others first. To do what Christ would do and love them as God’s children, regardless of what they’ve done, what their views are, or how they’ve treated me.

And she’s taught me to trust God – no matter what.

Life has not been easy. Even just since I’ve been old enough to recognize and remember them, we’ve had a lot of rough spots. Storms. Situations that could and often do rattle people so hard that they stumble away from Christ. Obstacles that have sent a lot of people off railing at God, blaming Him and wanting nothing more to do with Him.

But I’ve never seen that with my mom. I don’t know exactly how she’s felt after these ordeals. After the shock, grief, and raw pain. But I’ve never once heard her say anything against God. Even when she doesn’t understand why He’s letting these things happen. Even when it’s completely rocked our life and introduced a new wave of anguish. Instead, she’s been a constant reminder to me to continue trusting God. To continue believing that He knows best, and that He is working.

And she’s right of course. I’ve seen it firsthand too many times to count now. But without her example – among others – I don’t know if I’d have stayed on the path long enough to recognize the ways God’s worked. She’s been like glue, holding everything together when it only seems to be falling apart. And without that, I don’t know where I’d be right now.

The older I get and the more I learn to look closely and appreciate the many ways my mom models Christ in my life, the more in awe I am of this amazing woman. I don’t deserve her. But I sure am thankful for her.

Because of her, I’m inspired to give generously. I’m motivated to remain faithful in others’ lives. I’m challenged to give my all in every circumstance. I’m compelled to love others just like Christ would, no matter who it is. And I’m constantly reminded that our God is worth trusting. In the mountains and the valleys, in the joyful moments and the rough patches, and from the time I wake up in the mornings until I fall asleep – and then all over again.

Every moment spent with her, every minute learning from her, is a blessing. I thank God for the time I’ve had with her so far, and pray that I’ll be able to have many more years of the same. I – and the rest of my siblings – love her very much.

So yes, I’m biased. But you can still take my word for it. She’s awesome.

Love, grace, faithfulness, generosity, wit, laughter, patience, dedication, beauty…she’s got it all. And I’m beyond humbled and overwhelmingly blessed to get to claim her as my mother.

Thanks, Mom.

For everything.

Thank you.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
(Proverbs 31: 28-30 NIV)

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The Sunshine Blogger Award

Happy Friday!

It’s been a while since I participated in a blog tag, so I’m excited to share this fun post with you today! Thank you to Grace Johnson for nominating me (you can find her post here)! By far, these are some of the most unique and thought-provoking questions I’ve ever been asked, and it’s been an adventure to find my answers! Hopefully you enjoy learning a bit more about my oddball self, haha.

First of all, the rules:

Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their post.Answer all 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you.Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award, and write them 11 new questions.List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your blog post.

And now, for the questions:

1. What was your worst childhood experience?

I’ll go with worst physical-pain-wise, which would be the sledding incident when I was thirteen. Long story short, I went sledding with family at my grandparent’s house, and we decided to use a steep hill. I zipped down, sitting upright, and let my sled take me off the side edge – and plunging straight down onto a solid metal lawn roller that was obscured by snow.

Let’s just say that the pain combined with the cracking of the sled made me wonder if I’d broken my back. I didn’t, but I did compact my spine (picture an accordion being bunched up). I’m still not as flexible as before, and that one spot of my back is always the first to ache when I’ve been especially active. I’ve only been sledding a couple of times since, haha.

2. What was your first ever blog post?

My very first blog post was The Stories I Tell on September 18th of 2020, and it was my way of introducing myself to ‘the world’, as a high school graduate diving into writing on a larger scale. Even though it was only last year, it’s fascinating to see how my blogging style has changed as I’ve learned more and more about the process!

3. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Well, recently dairy and I have had to part ways due to some newly pinpointed sensitivities. So none now. However, I’ve always been partial to both mint chocolate chip and French vanilla. Mint chocolate chip because I love mint and chocolate so what’s not to like? And French vanilla rather than normal vanilla because the addition of that egg just makes it better for me, haha. It’s sweeter somehow? But also not too sweet, so I like it.

4. If you could be allergic to anything, what would it be?

Hm, I’m already sensitive to a lot of things actually. Dairy, gluten, sugar, pollen…not dangerously averse to any of them, but definitely not in a happy relationship. If I had to add one though, I’d probably pick a food I don’t enjoy – like fishsticks or corn dogs. That way I’d have a good excuse for refusing to eat them, haha.

OR, if I was allergic to spiders, I’d be fully justified in avoiding them. Though that’s not nearly as practical…

5. What is your least favorite song ever?

I…can’t actually bring myself to list it here, as it’s not one I want anyone to go look up, haha. But in general, I dislike most secular rap, and I cannot stand anything with explicit lyrics (which is the main reason I dislike most rap actually). Especially the past few years, I’m especially picky with my music, because I love it and lyrics affect me very deeply. It’s all too easy for me to be negatively affected by music with worldly themes when those songs are constantly running through my head.

6. If you could meet any US president, living or dead, who would it be?

George Washington. While there are other ones I’d love to meet too, Washington has just always inspired me the most. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been, and how much pressure was on his shoulders as the first president of the United States. And he did it with such admirable integrity, humility, and wisdom. God’s work in his life is so obvious. I’d love to meet him, though in all honesty, I’d probably be too nervous, haha.

7. You have three wishes–but there’s a catch: you’re wishing for another person. Who and what would you wish for?

Wow, this is so hard! Obviously in real life, I pray rather than wish, but for the sake of the question… There are so many people I would wish for, but if I had to just pick one, I think I might wish for the following, for my dad:

1) To be able to go on a trip with my mom – just the two of them, anywhere they wanted. Or, knowing them, for the rest of us to head somewhere else for a little while so they could stay home and still have solid and restful quality time together.

2) To have a lighter workload, i.e. some way for him to keep up with all his many responsibilities as a business owner, without being overworked and poorly rested.

3) To figure out why he has such bad headaches and how he can get them to go away. That way he can focus easier on his work, and enjoy the time he does get off.

8. Can you sing the full lyrics of any song(s)? If so, what is it (are they)?

Yes! Actually, a lot of songs – mostly Christian, and then some Disney and Broadway. Some of my random Christian favorites (that I’m constantly humming or singing to myself) include: I Will Rise, In Christ Alone, Christ the Lord is Risen Today, O Praise The Name (Anástasis), Truth I’m Standing On, Uncool, Smile (or just about anything by Sidewalk Prophets), It is Well With My Soul, Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies), and Blessings.

9. What do you want your mansion look like in Heaven?

Oh goodness, I honestly wouldn’t want to have any say in that. God will design a far better one for me than I ever could, and I look forward to exploring it some day! I know it will be perfect. I guess if I had to pick anything to include though, a bunch of hidden passageways would be awesome. Like the kind you’d find in really old, big houses. Those have always sounded really neat to me.

10. If you could change the course of any historical event, which one would it be and how would you change it?

The Holocaust. My heart breaks for every person that was affected by it. I read something once that was talking about how Christians were largely silent during the entire ordeal, and it’s always stuck with me. Sure, some people spoke up, and a few efforts were made – but we could and should have done so much more. Though I don’t know exactly how I’d change it, my main focus would be on saving lives.

11. You are given the choice to pick your dream spouse–from FICTION! Who will you be picking from any book, movie, TV show, etc.? Why them?

Wow, I…don’t even know how to start answering this question, haha. I guess if I was going to be picking someone, it’d probably be one of the guys from my own novels (yes, I’m biased). Because I’ve ‘spent’ so much more time with them, and know them so well. There’s one in particular, from my earliest full novel, whom I think I’d either be driven absolutely insane by, or we’d get along amazingly. I guess I’ll never know!

Well, thank you for sticking around and joining me in this fun activity! I hope it’s managed to bring a smile to your face today.

I’d like to nominate the following bloggers to join in, if they’d like:

1. S. J. Wunderlin @ Joyful, Thankful, Blessed
2. Julia Witmer
3. Mary @ Wild Writing Dreams
4. Raina Nightingale @ Enthralled by Love
5. Brooke Johnson @ Wings of a Writer
6. Annabeth Hazel
7. Lauryn Trimmer @ Pro Story Builders
8. Kristina Hall
9. Amelie @ Swordmaiden of the King
10. Julia @ Julia’s Creative Corner
11. YOU, if you have a blog and would like to participate!

And here are my questions for you (this is always the hardest part, haha):

1. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen?
2. If you could only speak one word today, what would you say?
3. Describe your perfect sandwich.
4. When is the last time you laughed out loud? What did you laugh at?
5. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
6. If you could change your name, would you? If so, what would you change it to?
7. What was your favorite toy as a child?
8. On a scale from 1-10 what’s the highest level of pain you’ve ever been in? Why?
9. Are you naturally a neat or messy person?
10. Would you like to live to be 200 years old? Why or why not?
11. If you had to give up one of your five senses, which one would you choose?

Once again, thank you for joining me today! I really enjoyed answering these questions, and I hope you enjoyed reading through them as well.

I’d love to find out how YOU would answer these questions! Let me know on your own blog, or in the comments below. I look forward to hearing from you!

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview

Why I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)

Hello and happy Wednesday!

If you’ve been around my website before, you’ve probably seen the info sprinkled around about my novel, Cabin Girl 1 (it’s pretty hard to miss). Most likely, you’ve seen its cover as well.

This one:

My homemade cover

I haven’t shied away from sharing that cover for Cabin Girl, both here on my website and any time I’m asked about the book. And for being the product of someone with zero design experience and limited resources, I’ve figured that cover is actually pretty good. Good enough, anyway.

But about a month ago, I was convicted to really stop and think about my reasons behind indie publishing. 2 I knew it would be a lot of work when I dove in, but recently it’s reached the point where I need to pause and reevaluate.

Just how committed am I? What are my goals? Which areas do I prioritize? I just don’t have the time or energy to try mastering them all, so how much should I do myself and how much should I find others to handle for me?

I’ve needed to clarify my priorities and what those priorities mean for me going forward – and it’s been an eye-opening process! I’m glad I’m taking the time to figure those things out now, rather than find myself stuck in a path I resent because I rushed ahead.

One big reason I’ve chosen to pursue the indie publishing path as opposed to traditional is because of the creative freedom. Nothing is added to, taken from, or changed about my book without me making that decision. I am 100% responsible for how my book turns out, and how I present it to readers. And that’s both a huge blessing and a lot of overwhelming responsibility.

I’ve absorbed a lot of information about indie publishing in the past year. Countless books, articles and blog posts, virtual learning courses, etc…Mostly, I’ve tried to figure out: what are the most important things to focus on? Especially when starting out. There are so many aspects to publishing, and while I’d love to do them all perfectly, that’s not realistic. I need to start somewhere.

And mostly, whatever I do choose to focus on, I need to make sure I do those well.

Everyone has different opinions about the most important parts about publishing, but in general I’ve found most people agree that the following things are absolutely crucial to have done well before you get published (whether indie or traditionally):

A Good StoryA Good Description/BlurbA Good Cover

The first one is pretty self-explanatory. Before I publish my book, I need to make sure it’s well-written and edited thoroughly. Otherwise, what’s the point in making a story available to read if it’s not a story anyone will want to read? There’s no way to make a story liked by everyone of course, but I need to ensure it’s the best that it can be.

The second one is the one I dread most, haha. I’m so long-winded most of the time, and my stories feel so expansive, that I always struggle to summarize them. Especially in a way that conveys them accurately and still manages to make them sound interesting. But nevertheless, having a good description, blurb, or sales pitch is crucial for publishing – and still very useful even if you’re not.

And the third one is the reason for this post. Over and over again, I’ve seen it emphasized that a good, fitting, and professional-looking cover is needed for publishing a book. People really do judge a book by its cover, and if the cover looks unprofessional and thrown together, they’ll assume the content inside is similar.

There are many rules for good book covers. For fiction, the cover must clearly communicate the story’s genre and give a good idea of the main story conflict and tone. Every design decision contributes to that communication. The colors, the fonts, the images, the layout, any subtitles…all the elements work together. Or at least they should.

Because of all the work and skill that goes into making good covers, hiring someone to design it for you can be very expensive. There are cheaper options too, but typically, what you pay for is what you get. If you manage to find a cheaper option, usually the quality of the cover will convey that.

I do not spend money lightly. Especially if it’s on something for myself, I need to know that the purchase will be worth it. So for that reason, and also because I didn’t like the idea of giving up that complete creative control for the cover, I made my own. You saw above how that turned out (after hours and hours of nitpicking and trying to make it perfect).

No, it didn’t look professional. Yes, it could have been better. But I felt it communicated enough of my genre and the story to work, and it really was the best I could come up with.

Then, a couple of months ago, I started seeing the stock photo that I used for that cover all over the place. Any time someone needed a good quality stock photo for an Irish girl, that photo is the one that was used. And I started to feel a bit uneasy about using a picture that many would recognize as a free image.

I kept receiving small comments about the cover, and how it was difficult for people to read the subtitle. And even if they could read it, they still didn’t get a ‘pirate’ vibe from the cover, which is something I really wanted.

And in addition, I realized that because I’d zoomed in so much on that photo, there was a high chance it would end up blurry on a paperback – and I also had no way of cleanly adding the spine and back with the same image.

There were a bunch of little details popping up and making me more uneasy, and I caught myself ‘conveniently’ glossing over the parts in articles and books that advised having a really strong book cover before I published. And yet, could I justify hiring a designer? What if I was just being vain? Was it actually worth it to spend the money and let someone else have creative say with my story?

I did a lot of praying, and shortly after I started seriously contemplating the matter, a 50% off sale started at one of the cover design companies I’d been looking into. 3 For the usual price of an ebook cover, I could get an ebook cover and a paperback, fully formatted for Amazon, with unlimited revisions. And for the typical quality of their covers, the price was very good.

Still more than I’d envisioned spending on a book, much less the first book I publish, but still… It was probably best to try working with a cover designer now, before I had lots of books published with handmade covers, and also more life expenses to consider. If I didn’t like having someone else design it, then at least I would know for the future, and could stop wondering.

As I’m sure you can guess, I took the plunge. And I am so glad I did.

After only very small amounts of time spent filling out the initial form and suggesting experimental tweaks, here is the finished ebook cover:

The professionally-designed cover

Absolutely worth it, in my opinion. The designer took my scatterbrained and vague ideas for the cover, and within two weeks, sent me several mock-ups. One of which was only several slight tweaks away from the way it is now. I ended up asking her to experiment with a couple of other things that we then disregarded, but if I hadn’t, I could have had a finished ebook cover within several weeks. As it is, it’s only been a month from start to finish.

And I am thrilled to say that I feel very good about this cover. Is it perfect? Will everyone like it? I’m sure not. But I love it, and I think it will go over far better with others than my handmade one. It clearly communicates genre and the fact that it is a ‘seafaring story’ – even without any kind of subtitle. And from receiving feedback from others, I’ve learned that it does communicate the right tone too: adventure with some suspense.

Next is taking that cover and adding the back/spine to create the paperback version. I’m looking forward to seeing it finished!

Overall, I don’t regret any part of my decision to hire someone to create it. I’ve been very impressed by the company’s professional work and willingness to experiment and revise. And they’ve gone much faster than I expected, even with all my requests for them to try different things. Now that I know how the process works, I expect future projects would go much quicker on my end.

And I also really appreciate the time and stress they’ve saved me. Technically, since I spent so much time on the previous cover, I guess it hasn’t really saved me time. But if I had done this from the very beginning, it would have made a huge difference.

Will I ever design more of my own covers? Absolutely, yes. Especially for smaller projects – like my short stories – that don’t require as much extravagance to communicate the story well. I truly do believe it’s possible to create covers on your own that are plenty good enough to publish with. If you have the time, resources, and either design experience or a willingness to research design thoroughly, then go for it! There are many programs and tutorials to help – and plenty that are free.

Designing covers can be a lot of fun, and is still something I greatly enjoy doing and learning more about. However, now I’ve also learned that hiring someone else to do it can be worthwhile too. Only time will tell if the new cover helps sales once Cabin Girl is published, but I have a strong hunch it will. And at this point, I’m very grateful for the time and work I didn’t have to contribute to get a cover of high quality.

So with that, now you know why all the images of the other cover on my site have vanished and been replaced by the new cover, haha. This one is around to stay!

I still have much to learn about indie publishing, but when it comes to cover design, there isn’t one right choice for every situation. Some people can beautifully design their own book covers, and others are best suited for receiving professionally-designed covers. Often the best path can change by story. I’m glad I’ve gotten to experience – and learn from – both methods.

What are YOUR thoughts on cover design? Have you ever designed a book cover of your own, or worked with a professional cover designer? I’d love to learn about your experiences, so let me know in the comments!

1. You can learn more about Cabin Girl here, or check out the post where I introduced its protagonist here.

2. I talked about my reasons for indie publishing in this post.

3. You can check out 100 Covers (the cover design company I’m working with) here.

Recent Posts:

The Sunshine Blogger AwardWhy I Hired a Cover Designer (Cabin Girl Cover Reveal!)The Four Temperaments: An Overview