E.G. Bella's Blog, page 12

The Strike Out Challenge

Happy Friday!

I’ve been tagged for another fun challenge by my good friend and fellow blogger, Saraina Whitney (you should definitely go check out her site – she’s a fantastic and entertaining writer)!

The premise? Go through the list, striking out the things that I’ve done before (and if so, explain the circumstances). I think it’ll be a neat glimpse into my life, and I’m interested to see how many I’ve actually done. As you read, consider how many you would strike out!

The Questions Kissed someone

Wow, starting off rather personal, aren’t we? I’ll strike this one out, because I have adorable siblings and I’m going to say kisses on the cheek/forehead/etc. count, even though I’m sure that wasn’t the original question, haha.

Gone to a rock concert

No, indeed. I’ve actually never gone to a concert, unless we count choir concerts that my siblings and I have taken part in. But definitely not a rock concert, and that’s okay with me. I’m not a big fan of huge crowds and loud noises for an extended period of time.

Helped someone

I hope everyone can strike this out! Yes, thankfully I’ve helped someone before, multiple times. If there’s anyone out there reading this that hasn’t helped someone before, what are you waiting for? I highly recommend it, for the benefit of the other person and you.

Gone fishing

Yes! Just once, that I can remember, when I was about nine. My family and I went on a vacation with extended family, and we went fishing with both sets of my grandparents for a a couple of days. I’m not very interested in fishing itself, but have fond memories of the trip.

Watched four movies in one night

I . . . can’t say that I have, actually. Which is kind of surprising, considering the amount of movies that my family and I have watched together. Three movies, sure, I’m pretty sure we’ve done that, but not four in one night. That’d mean being up all night, wouldn’t it?

Lied to someone

Well . . . I don’t know . . . have I? Oh, does that have a strike through it? I wonder why . . .

Failed a subject

I don’t think so, although I might just have blocked it out if I did. I was homeschooled, and my mom never allowed us to continue on if we didn’t complete a subject, so for that reason alone, I don’t think I ever failed one (thanks, Mom). If I did, it was probably art or science.

Been in a car accident

Unfortunately, yes. But fortunately, it was minor. I got rear-ended once, with my mom in passenger, and little sibling in the backseat. At the time, I’m pretty sure I only had my permit, and my dad had just spent the day fixing up the taillights, so I felt absolutely awful, even though the fault was on the driver behind me. My mom and I had some whiplash, and the back of the vehicle was unfortunately never the same. Still feel bad about that one . . .

Been in a tsunami

Wow, no! Praise the Lord, I’m nowhere close to being in a state where that’s possible. Large bodies scare me enough when they’re where they should be. I can’t imagine being swallowed by one, and I don’t know how tsunami survivors deal with the trauma of that.

Watched someone die (including pets)

Yes. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, and my prayers go out to anyone who understands.

Been to a funeral

Also yes. More than one, although I always prefer when they’re called ‘celebrations of life’.

Burned yourself

Oh yes. I’m notoriously clumsy in the kitchen, but my worst burn actually came when I was outside burning some cardboard boxes (in the country). Long story short, I tried to push some boxes farther down into the hot burning barrel, overestimated how much force I’d need, and ended up with a second-degree burn on my forearm. Had it been elsewhere or an inch or two longer, it would have qualified as third-degree. I still have the scar!

Run a marathon

No, but I wish! I’ve tried to get into running many times, but shin splints veto that idea pretty quickly. I can run decently far in one go and enjoy jogging, but after a few days of training, my legs hurt way too much to keep going, and I inevitably give it up again.

Spend over 10,000 bucks in one day

Not yet, thankfully! I’m not looking forward to the day I do, but I’m guessing that dark time will fall upon me eventually. Life is expensive, guys. I want to file a complaint.

Flown on an aeroplane

Yes! Technically, on several planes, although they were all for one trip. I didn’t mind it nearly as much as I feared I would, and I’d do it again if I had to, but I don’t miss the turbulence, crowds, or excess germs. I haven’t gone on one since, which is okay with me!

Written a 18 page letter (front & back) 

Surprisingly, I don’t think so! I’ve written some extremely long letters, but I believe my record was somewhere around eight pages (front and back). And now I feel slightly better about it, haha.

Gone skiing

Yes, but just cross-country skiing. I wasn’t amazing at it, but since it was slow and across relatively flat terrain, I enjoyed it! I’d love to be able to ski downhill, but I also know that my lack of coordination, tendency toward motion sickness, and general incompetence when it comes to sports or extreme anything, would likely lead to some bad injuries.

Lost someone you loved

Again, yes. I don’t know if there’s anything more difficult.

Got into trouble for something you didn’t do

I have several close siblings and we were all crazy, trouble-making children once, so yes, I’m sure this has happened. I can’t think of a specific example, but something is tugging at the back of my mind, so I’m just going to strike it out and trust my unconscious self.

Stolen a book from a library

No! I’ve purchased a book from a library once, when they had a sale, but that’s not the same thing, haha. No matter how much I enjoy books, I’m not that kind of criminal just yet.

Gone to a different country

Nope. I’d love to go to Europe some day though, and yes, I realize that would mean getting on a plane. Which I’d definitely do, if it meant I’d get to go explore Irish castles!

Gambled in a casino

Absolutely not. And I don’t ever plan to either. There are far better uses for money.

Been in a school play

Yes – eight of them! Although, I was homeschooled, so I’m just counting productions by our local homeschool drama troupe as ‘school plays’. They count in this case, right? Six were musicals, and two were plain ol’ plays.

Taken a lie detector test

No, although I’ve always thought this could be kind of fun for some reason. Not in a police station though. I would rather never end up in the wrong side of one of those!

Voted for someone on a reality TV show

Nope. I haven’t watched much reality TV at all, and even less of it was currently going on and able to be voted on. I think the extent of it was America’s Got Talent and Dancing With the Stars years ago.

Read more than 20 books a year

Yes! I’ve been an avid reader since I first learned how. Last year, I read 54 books, and I’m actually at exactly 20 books read so far this year. My goal this year is 55, so wish me luck!

Gone to Europe

Like I said above, no. Unfortunately. If you have a spare Irish castle you’re renting out for tours (or vacation stays), let me know!

Had a surgery

Yes! Just one, to get my wisdom teeth removed. Overall, it was a pretty simple process and I was thankfully only very tired and sore afterward, not loopy like I was afraid of.

Had stitches

Again, yes, but only in my mouth after the aforementioned wisdom teeth removal. Three of my wisdom teeth were mostly up, but the fourth was twisted and stuck in my gum, so they had to do a bit more intensive work and that hole took the longest to heal up. Ew.

Ridden a tuk-tuk (autorickshaw)

I hardly even know what this is, but after looking it up, I can confidently say no. It looks kind of fun though!

Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once 

When I’m behind on responding to people (I’m trying to get better at this, I promise!), I tend to set aside a chunk of time to go through and respond to absolutely everyone close together. Which usually means I get responses close together…and the cycle continues. So yes, I’ve definitely been carrying on conversations with that many people at once.

Been in a fistfight

Probably..? I grew up with several siblings close in age so this feels like a given. Never an actual, trying-to-really-hurt-someone fistfight, but definitely play-fighting and tackling. And yes, we all still like each other.

Had a pet

Yes! Never a pet that was solely my responsibility, but my family had/has two dogs (a German Shepherd outside, and a Teddy Bear in the house) and a bunch of cats. Every spring there are more adorable kittens to find homes for. There were tough moments, but caring for pets is rewarding, and I’m thankful for them.

Petted a wild animal

I’ve pet a young raccoon before! Pretty sure that’s the only wild animal though.

Had your own credit card & bought something with it

Nope. So far I’ve only used a debit card, checks, and good old cash. I’m sure some day I’ll get a credit card, but it’s not a priority right now. Knowing how to use one responsibly when that day comes is something that I’m thankful my parents have taught me!

Dyed your hair

I have not. I’m a light blonde, and although I think it would be fun to try out other hair colors for a while, I’m always too paranoid that it will never go back to my natural color. So instead I just enjoy seeing other people experiment with it, haha.

Got a tattoo

Again, no, and I never plan to. They’re just not my thing. The only one I might consider one day is if for some reason I couldn’t wear my wedding ring anymore. I’ve seen people tattoo bands onto their ring finger, and I think I might consider that if there weren’t other options.

Had something pierced

No again! I used to want my ears pierced, and I’m still not against the idea, but I’ve been too lazy to bother with it. It seems like a lot of work and I’m a bit squeamish at the thought of the holes possibly getting infected… I use magnetic earrings when I want to be fancy.

Got a straight A

Yes, most often in my Bible classes, I believe. But I really enjoyed those lessons so it wasn’t as hard to pay attention. Science on the other hand…

Taken pictures with a webcam

Once upon a time, years ago, in my childhood…I believe I did this once with my dad. I have very vague memories of using a webcam to take a few silly pictures. I should investigate.

Gone to sleep with music on

Almost every night! My parents always used to play music for my siblings and I at night, and it’s something I still enjoy. It’s always soothing worship music (Maranantha, Fernando Ortega, etc.), and my current favorite is this playlist of Christian piano instrumentals. It’s also a very good distraction when I’m sick or just not feeling well and need to rest.

The Nominees

Yes, I’m going to be annoying, and nominate EVERYONE.

That is, everyone who would like to participate (including you!). Even if you don’t have a blog, feel free to answer the questions in the comments below. I’d love to read your answers!

The Questions (For You to Copy)

Kissed someone – 

Gone to a rock concert – 

Helped someone –

Gone fishing –

Watched four movies in one night –

Lied to someone –

Failed a subject –

Been in a car accident –

Been in a tsunami – 

Watched someone die (including pets) – 

Been to a funeral – 

Burned yourself –

Run a marathon – 

Spend over 10,000 bucks in one day –

Flown on an aeroplane –

Written a 18 page letter (front & back) – 

Gone skiing –

Lost someone you loved –

Got into trouble for something you didn’t do –

Stolen a book from a library –

Gone to a different country –

Gambled in a casino – 

Been in a school play –

Taken a lie detector test – 

Voted for someone on a reality TV show – 

Read more than 20 books a year –

Gone to Europe –

Had a surgery –

Had stitches – 

Ridden a tuk-tuk (autorickshaw) –

Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once – 

Been in a fist fight – 

Had a pet –

Petted a wild animal –

Had your own credit card & bought something with it – 

Dyed your hair – 

Got a tattoo – 

Had something pierced –

Got a straight A –

Taken pictures with a webcam –

Gone to sleep with music on –

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It’s Okay to Change

I struggle with change.

I don’t know about you, but it’s always been something that’s bothered me. Sometimes it’s exciting. New people, new opportunities, new places…I do like exploring, and trying and learning new things. But at the end of the day, I want to be able to go back to what I’ve known. The things that I’m used to, things that are comfortable and easy.

But life doesn’t usually work that way. When change happens, particularly big changes, things don’t often go back to the way they were. And God’s still in control, but sometimes those changes aren’t very enjoyable. At a minimum, I find them difficult to get used to.

There are always changes going on around us. In the past couple of years, I think we’ve all dealt with more change than we’re used to. And life is different now than it was back then – for better or for worse. Not only are the things around me different now, but I’m different too. I’ve changed. That’s a surprising thing to realize sometimes.

We know that change is inevitable, whether we want it or not. We may even realize that we’re changing with the times, but often we don’t realize how much we’ve changed until we stop and look back a ways down the road. That’s when we see how different we are.

Hopefully we can look back and notice a positive difference in ourselves. Sometimes not, and we realize that we need to work on that. There’s almost always a mixture of both. But overall, it’s fascinating to be able to see how we’ve changed, developed, and grown as a result of what’s happened in our lives.

Change is always happening, too. There’s not a point that we reach where things suddenly freeze and then stay the same for the lest of our lives. No, I’ve found that I need to come to healthy terms with change, because it’s not going anywhere. Ironically, the fact that things change doesn’t change. At least not this side of Heaven.

There have been some interesting changes for me this past year, as I’m sure there have been for everyone. And August is a reminder of a few of them. For example, today I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year. That’s been a pretty big change – and blessing! Not that it’s always an easy one, but God’s hand has been so obvious, and it’s an example of a change that I’m very thankful for. I never saw it coming.

This month, I also officially leave my teenage years behind, which I’m ready for. It’s only a number, I realize, but each birthday brings some changes with it – small or large. This year especially means I outgrow or move past some things that have been in my life for years now. Such as a writing community and contest I’ve participated in since I was sixteen. I’m not as sad as I thought I would be; it feels like the right time to move on. But considering that that community is what launched me into writing seriously, it’s still bittersweet.

I hope to keep up with many of the friends I’ve made in that community, and I’m also thankful for what felt like closure this June, when I traveled to their summer conference, and met many of these people in-person for the first time. It may be the only time I see them in real life, but I’m very grateful that I got to be part of those activities and have such good conversations. It was an unexpected blessing that formed many fond memories.

Almost a year ago at this point, I started another job, which I’m also very thankful for, and which has been a blessing in savings and experience. Watching three energetic, adorable kiddos and getting to be there as they grow has been so much fun, and also brought a lot of valuable lessons that will certainly help with my own family some day.

Last August, I began teaching a highschool writing class – my first teaching experience. I overcommitted, and am not teaching again this year for that reason, but I enjoyed that experience as well. It was a blessing in many ways, and though teaching is not my strong suit, the students made it fun. If I had more time to devote to it, I would consider doing it again, as talking about writing is one of my favorite pastimes anyway, haha.

There have also been – and will continue to be – big changes in my writing and publishing journey. Last year, I published my first ‘short’ story (here), and within the next year, plan to publish at least one full-length novel and another short story. Ideally, more than that, but I’m also trying to be overly realistic. I plan to continue blogging, as well as writing articles elsewhere (something I’ve already begun, and have seen growth in).

I have many ideas for novels, and as I’ve focused more on non-fiction for the past year, I want to get back to prioritizing fiction for a while. Dialing my blogging schedule back a little is allowing me to do that, and I believe I’m slowly finding the right balance to keep up with both types of writing. By this time next year, I hope to have reached some exciting milestones, and I’m looking forward to it and nervous. There will continue to be change.

This month, you’ll notice that I’m writing a lot about change, growth, and trusting God through this twisty journey called life. Change is always around us, nearly always affecting us, and never going to stop. So it’s not that change is unique to this month. I’m just thinking about it more due to some events and milestones in August, and wanted to take some time to share my reflections.

Without all the change that I’ve experienced in the past year, I would be missing so many things – so many lessons, relationships, experiences, and blessings. So I’m thankful for it.

In the midst of all the change – whether we’re glad for the changes or not – we do have one unchanging Rock to stand on. Now more than ever, I’m grateful that God is unchanging. He’s always wise, always loving, always compassionate. He always knows what’s best for us, and is always acting according to that knowledge. He’s always listening, always present, and always seeking after us, drawing us closer to Him.

When I’m struggling with change, and wanting to go back to the comfortable way things were, I find comfort in knowing that He’s constant, and still the same as He’s always been. My knowledge of Him, and my relationship with Him, are always changing and growing, but He Himself is the same. I can always count on Him to be the steady presence in the center of everything else.

Even when I’m excited for the change that’s happening, knowing that I have Him at my side no matter what happens enables me to be strong, confident, and brave going forward. We’re very blessed to have a God who will never stop loving, guiding, and caring for us.

As I’m noticing and anticipating all the changes in my own life, I’m also watching the changes in my family’s lives. My younger siblings are growing and moving on with different aspects of their schooling, relationships, jobs, and spiritual journey, and for one thing, it makes me feel old. But it’s also a blessing to get to watch them grow, and I’m thankful that they also have a constant, steady God to count on in their own lives.

There’s no shortage of change in this world. Our lives are never exactly the same from one moment to the next. But one of the biggest truths I’ve been reflecting on lately is the fact that it’s a good thing. Or at least, it can be. Change is how we grow. So as long as we’re growing in the right direction, and learning from our mistakes and the things that happen to us, we shouldn’t be afraid of change. We should be grateful for it.

The God who never changes is going to use that change to accomplish His perfect plans. And that knowledge alone is enough to help me feel peace in the midst of it all. I hope that reminder is an encouragement to you today as well. Don’t be afraid to change. It’s okay.

God’s got us – no matter what happens.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens…
(Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)

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2022 July Wrap-Up

Hello and happy Wednesday!

Today’s post brings another summary of the past month of my life – with writing progress reports, reading accomplishments, and general updates!

So without further ado . . .

General Update

What a month! In some ways, July felt like it took forever to get through, but I also don’t know how it’s over already. The most difficult part was dealing with vestibular migraines for the first time, starting right away in the month, and reappearing again several weeks later. In all, I spent about half of the month with a migraine. Thankfully after the first time, we were more prepared, and I was able to continue working and mostly carrying on with normal life the second time. It’s definitely an adjustment.

The good part is that I’ve caught up significantly on my writing, in spite of and even partly because of the migraines. In trying to rest and take care of myself, I’ve spent more time writing, as it’s not very active. So I’m glad to have made decent progress after a few months of falling behind. I’ve also been able to spend more time with loved ones, now that I’m home again. No more trips to other states in my near future. I like new things, but it’s nice to be back. I’m happy for people who can travel a lot, but it’s just not my thing apparently.

As I talked about here, God’s recently been teaching me more about submission and trusting His plans, even when I don’t understand or like them. Being physically unable to do whatever I want or feel like I should, is very frustrating for me, and I get discouraged quickly. But I’ve seen how God uses those weaknesses of ours for good lessons, and to improve our relationships with Himself and others, if we let Him. Every time I’m tempted to think I know better, it’s helpful to look back and remember all that He’s already done. He’s trustworthy, faithful, and I’m so thankful for His eternal grace and patience.

Fiction Writing

One of the most encouraging parts of July was getting to write more fiction again! I’m super happy to report that I wrote 6,895 words last month! And most of that was actually in one week. When I write fiction, I find that I work best in bursts, that way my motivation doesn’t start to die. The project in question is one I’m not going to share just yet, but I’m really excited about it, and hope to reveal it after I’ve made a bit more progress.

But wait, what about Cabin Girl? Still in the works, I promise! I’ve also been working on it, but my primary reason that I’m not doing the last big publishing push yet, is because I’m trying to figure out a few more technical aspects beforehand.

After a lot of prayer and a leap of faith, I enrolled in a writing/publishing course called Publish & Thrive, which is an intensive 6-week course diving deep into the realm of indie publishing, and talking about the ins and outs of turning it into a more serious venture. The publishing strategy and mechanics are what I’m really stuck on, and I’ve already found information that’s going to make a huge difference for me.

More and more, I’m realizing that I want to have those foundational aspects in place before doing too much blind-acting on my own, so that’s one of the reasons I’m focusing on writing material right now, more so than publishing it. To all who have been waiting on Cabin Girl for so long now, thank you greatly for your patience and support. It means a lot!

On the Blog

I did my blogging in bursts last month, between migraines and overall busyness. It’s at this point that I’m very grateful I did my blog post brainstorming/scheduling/image-creating for the entire summer back in May, so that it’s a simple matter of writing the posts and actually putting them out there (the exceptions are short blog tags that come up). It’s saved me many times so far, when I’ve been too exhausted to come up with any ideas in the moment.

Doing the post-writing in batches has also worked really well to keep me focused on one task until it’s completely done, rather than floating from one type of work to the next. It’s nice to feel like I’m finally understanding how my brain works best when it comes to writing strategies! And as a result, I shared five posts in July, including a guest post from Kenny Sargent, whom I was very blessed to get to collaborate with.

Here are the posts for July (just click on the links to read them):

~ 2022 June Wrap-Up
~ What I’m Learning About Submission
~ You’re Chickening Out (Guest Post by Kenny Sargent)
~ How Theatre Has Helped My Writing
~ 5 Pieces of Relationship Advice I’ve Learned From My Parents

Reading List

What’s this? I actually read something last month? Multiple somethings? Indeed!

Though it was another busy month, I prioritized more reading, as I’m about eleven books where I wanted to be at this point the year and need to make up some ground. And I have so many good books lying around that I just really want to read. So I’m happy to report that I finished three more books last month, and read the Bible more too!

~ Here I Am Again, Lord by Carole Mayhall
(This was a quick, much-needed re-read, and I was very thankful for all the reminders of God’s love, grace, and patience. The spiritual insights and pieces of wisdom were very helpful, and applicable to the season of life that I’m in currently.)
~ Thirst by Jill Williamson
(This is the first book in a prequel duology, and while I’ve never read the original series, that didn’t stop me from enjoying it greatly! The dystopian premise was intriguing, the acting engaging, characters relatable…and the Christian themes were subtle but powerful. I finished it in a day!)
~ A Lifting Up for the Downcast by William Bridge
(This was yet another excellent read loaned to me by my cousin, and I’m so thankful for it! It was profound, in-depth, and full of truths I needed to read. It’s the sort of book that probably takes several read-throughs to really digest everything. Highly recommend for Christians!)

Looking Forward

I really don’t know how it’s August already, but here we are. This is the last month before some of my autumn/winter commitments start back up, and my schedule fills more again, so I’m trying to get ready for that by pushing to finish some projects. I have also been evaluating better ways to manage my time and stay caught up with everything during the next few months. It’s always a journey, but I feel pretty good about it so far.

This month feels like a transition in a lot of ways, not just into the autumn and a new schedule, but also due to things like my brother’s graduation party, my celebration of one year with my boyfriend, my last year to submit to a age-restricted novel contest (to which I’m not sure I’ll actually have anything…), me aging out of a writing forum, the end of my teenage years, and a few other changes to things I’ve done for years. It feels strange, but I’m also looking forward to the next opportunities that are coming up.

As far as writing goals go, I’m hoping to finish the first draft of my newest project, make more progress with Cabin Girl, complete most of the publishing course, prep blog posts/ideas for the next several months, come up with a tentative and realistic publishing schedule, and at least start the cover process for said projects on that schedule. In addition, work, time with loved ones, and involvement with my church and its youth group are priorities again this month. It’ll be busy as always, but I’m looking forward to it all.

What was YOUR July like? What kinds of things did you get to do? If you have a progress report on something, or books you read and would like to share, go ahead and let me know in the comments! And while you’re at it, feel free to include what you’re looking forward to and/or hoping to accomplish in August! As always, I’m excited to hear from you!

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The Remarkable Blogger Tag

Happy Friday!

It’s been a while since I’ve done a blog tag, and when I saw this one open to everyone on Whimsically Megan’s site, I thought it looked like a fun one to hop in on. Thanks, Megan! The tag was originally created by Simply Selina, and the questions for this post were thought up by Lucy at Elsie LMC. If you’re interested, definitely go check them all out!

The blog tag graphic!RulesAdd the featured imageTag your post with #the remarkable blogger tagPingback to original postMention the creatorShare something unique about youAnswer the nine questions the person who nominated you has askedAsk 9 nine questions for your nomineesNominate 10 – 15 peopleHave fun!

Something Unique About Me

Well, one thing that’s kind of unique is that I’m slightly colorblind (which is more rare in females). It’s a red/green deficiency, and thankfully not severe. I can still drive no problem. I like to say that I can still see colors, I just have trouble seeing some shades of those colors. My favorite colors are blue and yellow – probably because I can see those easily!

The QuestionsIf you could live in any type of home, anywhere in the world, where would you go and what house would you choose? (Like a treehouse in New York or something!).

Oh no, I’m going to have such a boring answer, haha. I would visit and temporarily stay in all sorts of homes, but for a true home of my own to settle down in? My dream would be a cute, two-story home (the kind that have personality, you know?) just a few minutes outside town. Not in the country, but just far enough from the center of town to be quieter and have some good amount of yard. Oh, and I’d stay near my hometown too, for family.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

I’m not sure if these are my biggest ones, but they’re the first that come to mind: chewing with your mouth open and full of food, and forks scraping against glass plates. The sounds of both drive me crazy!

What would you tell the you that started your blog if you could go back to that day?

Stop putting it off and just write. You’ll never learn how to do better if you don’t try, so stop being so afraid that you won’t be perfect. Trust me, you won’t, and it’s okay. Write what you love, keep learning and growing, and be consistent and realistic. Reach out to other bloggers, interact with them, and support them – they’ll be dear friends and one of the main reasons you keep writing. And enjoy the process!

Is there one song out there that you think everybody should listen to? 

Wow, this is a hard question! There are a lot of songs I think people should listen to, but one that’s had a huge influence on my family and I has been I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe. It creates such a deep longing for Heaven in me, and reminds me to keep my focus on things that are eternal, not fleeting. If you haven’t already, please go look it up!

If there were no limits in life for a day, what would you do first and last?

I don’t even know how to answer this…no limits? As in, no financial, material, or transportation limits? If so, there’s a lot of good things that could be done for people in impoverished countries. I’m not sure how much could happen in a day, but still, it’d be a really rewarding thing to spend those hours showering people in need with resources.

Have you set yourself any challenges for the year?

Yes, I have! I’ve blogged before about my growth word for the year, which is balance, and I’m still working on that. For me, that means learning to be more intentional with my time, taking better care of myself physically, and knowing what my priorities are – which means God needs to be at the center of my goals. Writing-wise, I am working to publish a novel!

How many blog posts have you written so far?

Ooh, let’s see… Counting this post, I’ve published 174 posts on my blog so far! I also have a few posts written for the future that are sitting patiently and waiting for their scheduled posting date, and about fifty more articles written on Medium. I’ve done a lot more non-fiction writing in the past year and a half.

Does your blog have a niche or no?

Kind of! It’s not as niched as many people recommend, but I chalk that up to the fact that it’s part of my author website. As a result, the readers of my blog have to read about many of my interests, as varied as they might be, haha. Primarily though, I focus on writing topics, and reflections on life and faith (and some random, fun posts like this one!).

Do you have any advice for helping a blogger get out of a writers rut?

Yes – live your life! Do something that’s not writing-related for a while. That sounds so counter-intuitive, but it works every time for me. Writers block, or a rut, usually means that I’m not taking in enough material to continue creating my own. So I like to take a break and read a good book, watch a movie, go for a walk, draw, do a puzzle, talk to a friend, or even just do some chores around the house while listening to music. Anything that gives my mind rest, while also offering it enriching experiences and ideas.

I’d like to tag:

1. Saraina Whitney
2. Raina @ Enthralled By Love
3. Liesl @ Quote, Unquote
4. Kate @ Once Upon An Ordinary
5. Vanessa Hall
6. Kristina Hall
7. Jordyn @ Indie Edits By J
8. Grace A. Johnson
9. Maribeth Barber
10. E. M. Colton
(and YOU!)

And for the questions, I’m going to take the cheater’s way out and pass along these same ones that I answered, haha. They’re just so good – and by good, I mean thought-provoking, and difficult, which is good for a blog tag. Trust me, they’re better than anything I could come up with, and I’d love to read your answers for them!

Well, thank you for joining me on this fun tag! I enjoyed answering the questions, and hope you enjoyed reading them. Can you relate to any of my answers? Do you think I’m crazy (rightfully so)?

How would YOU answer these questions? If you have a blog and want to participate, consider yourself tagged! Or if you’d rather let me know your thoughts in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!

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The Remarkable Blogger Tag5 Pieces of Relationship Advice I’ve Learned From My ParentsHow Theatre Has Helped My Writing

5 Pieces of Relationship Advice I’ve Learned From My Parents

This post is going to differ a little bit from my normal ones. I don’t usually write about relationships, but I do try to share what I’ve been learning and reflecting on in life lately, and this topic is appropriate right now, for a few reasons.

Firstly, since getting into a relationship almost a year ago (another reason this has been on my mind lately), I’ve taken a lot more notice to the relationships around me. Where I didn’t pay attention much before, now I’m very keyed in to what other people are doing in theirs.

What works? What doesn’t? What do I want to mirror and what do I want to avoid at all costs? Are there keys to a strong, happy, fulfilling relationship? What are they?

When I first got into a relationship, I was – for lack of a better word – terrified. I never realized how scary trusting your heart to someone else is. A good relationship requires vulnerability and opening up to another person in ways that I may not want to. I spent lot of time in prayer, and asking the happily-married people around me what their advice was.

A year later and I’m no longer (as) terrified, but I still don’t know exactly what I’m doing, and I know that there will always be room to grow. So I continue watching and asking the people around me whose relationships I admire for their experiences and advice.

In particular, my parents.

I realize that I’m extremely blessed to have parents with a strong relationship. They’ve been together over two decades now, and I’ve grown up knowing that my parents love, respect, and trust one another. They have worked together in raising their children, in their business, and – most importantly – in continuing to serve the Lord. I’ve always wanted to have a relationship like theirs some day. I know there are many people who don’t.

So naturally, I’ve been asking more questions and paying even closer attention to the particulars recently. To the every day applications of the qualities for a good marriage.

I’ve also been paying more attention to the relationships I see that aren’t healthy. Sadly, there seem to be far more of those than there are strong ones. It breaks my heart to see such broken relationships, and makes me feel even more determined to avoid that.

This is not meant to be a “I’ve got it all together, here’s my expert advice” post, because I certainly don’t have it all together. But it is a collection of some of the biggest relationship lessons I’ve learned from watching my parents over the years – and witnessing others do the opposite of these things with poor results. I wanted to share and reflect on them today, and I pray you find value in them too.

1. Communicate honestly

My parents have always taught me to communicate honestly, and that definitely applies to a significant other. Playing games in a relationship (not the fun kind!), or hiding or lying about how you feel about something isn’t beneficial. Kind honesty and being upfront are much better. No one has the ability to read minds, so we can avoid so much drama if we’re simply honest in what we say.

The opposite is also worth mentioning – there are certain things best left unsaid. Things that may be honest, but aren’t helpful to anyone if spoken. Things that just lead to hurt feelings and unneeded stress. That’s where the kindness really comes in. My parents make an effort to be honest about what needs to be said, and kind when something doesn’t.

2. Don’t yell or name-call

Speaking of hurt feelings and unneeded stress…is there any faster way to rile someone up then to yell or call them names? My parents made a ‘rule’ in their marriage that they wouldn’t yell at one another, or call each other names when upset. They don’t swear at one another either (or ever). They can still obviously communicate when they’re upset, but not in those ways. I’m very blessed to say I’ve never once heard my parents break that rule.

It’s very hard to have a productive conversation and resolve anything when there’s yelling, name-calling, and swearing – it just makes everyone angry. Nasty words are impossible to take back once spoken, and leave painful scars that last far longer than the actual argument. A lot of trust and respect can be lost once those things are involved. My boyfriend and I are following the same path, committed not to using them either.

3. Make time for each other

My parents are busy – always have been, likely always will. Between kids, work, other family, gardening, and various other commitments, they don’t get a lot of free time. Despite that, I have many memories of both parents joyfully making time for their kids, and perhaps even more impressively, making time for each other. While I’m sure they’d prefer far more time together, they still keep the other person a priority.

As kids, we grew up recognizing that some Sunday afternoons had ‘Mom and Dad time’ for an hour or two, and we just played while they took the chance to catch up after a long week. Some nights we’d be heading to bed and my parents would be making popcorn and setting up the living room to watch a show together. Quality time together was more important than sleep. I remember being glad that they liked each other so much.

4. Praise one another

Now, I don’t mean praise as in worship, but praise as in building one another up, and even ‘talking up’ the other person in conversations with others. Sharing what the other person had done for them, how sweet or good with the kids they were, what they were really skilled at, the expertise they had, what they’d said lately that meant a lot…. Just generally not being afraid to let the world know how blessed they were by their spouse.

I can tell by just watching my parents together that they’re fond of one another. They’re not showering compliments or being over-the-top, but they take opportunities to show their love for the other person in whichever ways they know their spouse will appreciate most. They’re quick to thank each other, and to show appreciation for the little things. Their sincere love toward one another is a beautiful thing to witness.

5. Seek the Lord together

I saved the most important one for last: my parents are seeking the Lord together. And their strong, common foundation has been the bedrock for their entire marriage. My parents have made it through many life trials and sufferings that are ranked as high-number causes of divorce. And they’re still together, and their relationship is stronger because they held fast.

Has it been easy for them? Certainly not. But some of my most vivid memories of my parents are of them praying together, or watching them handle some of the most difficult things a parent can deal with together. My parents have some of the strongest faiths of anyone I know, and they are always encouraging one another to keep seeking Jesus. That’s a truly powerful thing, and something I believe is a requirement for a persevering marriage.

This is such an expansive topic, far more than is possible to cover in one short blog post. But I’m slowly learning and growing, and I hope you found these lessons as inspiring as I do. Do you have any relationship advice to share? Have you found any lessons or truths that are particularly helpful? I’d love to hear them, so feel free to let me know in the comments!

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails…
(1 Corinthians 1:4-8 NIV)

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How Theatre Has Helped My Writing

Hello and happy Wednesday!

If you couldn’t tell by the title of this post, I’m a big fan of theatre (or theater, I just like the classic spelling). I’ve been in six musicals, two plays (although one of them ultimately got canceled before performances due to COVID), and helped out with tech elements for another musical.

I love every aspect of putting on shows – the music, choreography, lines, sets, props, costumes, technical elements, camaraderie, and learning things like how to get along with other people, improvise, and make the best of difficult situations.

Some people are surprised that I enjoy performing, given that I’m usually a quieter person, but I find that something changes during a show. Even in rehearsals, I might still be shy, but when it comes to actually performing, when the pressure is on and people are watching for what’s likely their only time seeing the show, that’s when I really feel like I become the character. I’m still nervous, absolutely. But I can put that aside for the sake of the show.

The show must go on, after all.

This time last year, I performed in what has been my last show. It was a great contrast to the shows I’d been in before, as this musical was part of an intensive, two-week theatre camp in my hometown. We had rehearsals every day but weekends for two weeks, and then performed on the last day. Two weeks from start to finish: casting, memorizing lines, learning music and choreography, blocking, adding tech, costumes, sets, props, all of it.

Because it was a camp meant mostly for younger people (I was one of the oldest at almost nineteen and there were kids as young as four), I was given one of the three leads. And although it was not a very elaborate show, because we only had two weeks, that was one of the hardest shows I’ve ever done. I didn’t even think it was possible to memorize that many lines, some of which were changed the day before we performed.

It was a huge growing experience that involved literal blood, sweat, and tears, and a lot of stress. But I’m very thankful for it anyway. In the end that’s how shows usually are, aren’t they? They’re huge bundles of nerves and stress and panic, that melt away to laughter, warm memories, and close friendships by the end. It’s just part of the experience, right?

As I’ve been thinking back to that show, and all the ones before it, I’ve realized that not only has theatre affected my everyday life and who I am in many ways, but it has even influenced my writing. In many ways, it’s helped me write.

How?

The main way I think it’s influenced my writing is in regards to the characters. You learn a lot about people, and about characters, doing theatre. You’re working with new people, relying on them, trusting them, bouncing off their energy and delivery of lines. In a short time-frame, you’re forced to become very close with people you may otherwise never have gotten to know. Theatre has a way of teaching you a lot about people of all kinds.

Simply knowing a good variety of people in real life, seeing how they act under stress, their strengths and weaknesses, how they speak, how they learn best, how they move and grow…it’s all such valuable information for writers. The more real-life people we see, the more realistic characters we’re able to write.

And while some short interactions with people we meet may be helpful, they are also somewhat shallow. People can hide who they truly are, what their personalities are truly like, for a short time. But in theatre, you quickly see who people really are. It’s impossible to hide your personality, or what you say and do, when you’re under stress and working closely with everyone else for hours on end, sometimes for months.

I’ve found that having seen such a vast variety of people and their personalities has been very influential in my writing. I have a larger pool of inspiration for characters to draw from. And while this isn’t exclusive to theatre – many places or jobs offer you the chance to learn from lots of people – theatre is one of the most intensive ways to learn about others.

On a similar note, theatre has helped me make characters more realistic because of the acting experience. I’ve mentioned before that when I’m stuck on a scene, whether because I don’t know what a character would do or say, I will often actually act out the scene (in private, because yes, it looks ridiculous, haha).

It’s amazing how much becoming the character helps determine how they’d act in a scene. The words flow more easily and the gestures come to life when I’m trying to be them, rather than write about them. I think it’s somewhat the same principle behind reading our writing out-loud. Hearing it from a real person, rather than just reading it from a character on a page, can help it feel real – or if it doesn’t, we know we should adjust some things.

I also believe that theatre has helped me write realistic characters through improvisation. In theatre, you learn to improvise – sometimes in small ways, sometimes in very big ways. It doesn’t always work, but the point is that you always try something. You have to. When things go wrong, props are misplaced, costumes or sets break, lines are forgotten… the show might depend on someone improvising in order to keep going. To get back on track.

The adrenaline rush when you realize improvising is needed is something I will never forget. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve needed to improvise on stage, either to help someone else out, or because I’ve made a mistake with my own part/s. There’s hardly ever a right way to improvise, so it’s hard to know what to do. But it’s better to do something, than nothing.

In many ways, I think this helps in writing simply because experiencing things in life always help us to write about them better. Living life and experiencing more aspects of it leads to more realistic, interesting stories because we have more material to draw from. And the weight of personal experience comes through in those instances.

It’s also helped me just because I’ve learned and practiced how to improvise for a story. When I’m stuck on a scene or chapter, or I’ve dug my hero a hole that seems too deep for them to climb from, I’m now far more inclined to find ways for the hero to improvise – rather than just change the scene, like I used to do in my early writing days. There’s always something the hero can try, even if it ultimately doesn’t work.

In general, theatre is also beneficial to writers because we learn more about stories from it. We learn story structure, the many different variations people have used, and what tends to work well and what doesn’t. We learn about compelling and engaging dialogue and well-timed humor – or dialogue and humor that don’t work. We learn how to be creative with our plots and powerful with our themes.

There are many differences between plays and other written works, obviously. But there are also many lessons that carry over. I truly believe that my fiction is far stronger because of my experience with theatre and all of those immersive stories. And you don’t even have to perform in theatre to learn this either. Just watching shows can have very similar effects.

My experiences on the tech and behind-the-scenes aspects of shows has also been beneficial to writing as well. I haven’t done nearly as much with the technical aspects, but after running the lights for one of the musicals, I realized just how much gets taken for granted in a successful show. If the person running the lights is doing their job well, no one thinks about them. It’s when the transitions are noticeable that there are likely mistakes.

It’s the same way with the orchestra, the people running sound and mics, those backstage opening the curtains and directing the traffic in the wings, and those helping with fast costume changes and grabbing props for rushed actors. Shows literally could not go on without each and every one of those people.

So although the actors are the ones that are usually given most the credit for successful shows, there are so many people you can’t see that have done just as much, if not more, work. Positions and roles that are taken for granted.

And similarly, in writing, there are so many aspects and elements that readers don’t think about. So many technical parts of writing that are meant to be invisible because that means they’re done well. If even one of those aspects was done poorly, it can stand out and drag the entire story down. So theatre has helped me not to overlook the hidden pieces.

Finally, theatre has been another building block in learning perseverance, dedication, and hard work. Theatre isn’t easy; neither is writing. Very few things are. So I’m thankful for the personal growth I experienced as a result of growing up immersed in theatre. Those lessons and life experiences continue to influence my life even nearly a decade later.

I’m thankful that it helped me to learn not to give up when things got difficult, when I got stuck, or when I felt I couldn’t do something. I’m thankful that it taught me all about people and how diverse and unique each person is. And I’m thankful that it taught me about stories and how to craft new ones that can keep an audience – or reader – immersed.

I don’t know whether I’ll be in any more shows, but no matter what happens going forward, I’m thankful for all the time I had with theatre so far. I believe it’s helped me not only to be a stronger writer, but a stronger person as well.

Have you ever been involved in theatre? Do you enjoy watching, acting in, or helping with shows? Are there any lessons you’ve learned that might also apply to writing? I’d love to hear your thoughts, so please feel free to share them in the comments!

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You’re Chickening Out (Guest Post by Kenny Sargent)

Happy Friday!

I’m so thrilled by the post I get to share with you today! Earlier this year, I was reading a blog post interview by K. M. Weiland (right here) about the production of her dramatized, full-cast audiobook, Wayfarer. In it, she interviewed the producer Kenny Sargent, who is also an author himself. I love audiobooks, fiction, and voice-acting, so the post was incredibly interesting to me.

Then, being the easily distracted person that I am, I explored the Sargent Family Productions site, signed up for their mailing list, and shortly afterward, was blessed to hear from Mr. Sargent, both to confirm my subscription… and to inquire about a guest post.

I’ve not been shy about sharing my thoughts on risky Christian fiction in the past, writing a blog post about it here, shortly after launching my website. I believe Christians have a unique responsibility with what they write, non-fiction and fiction. In our fiction stories, we need to find a careful, prayerful balance regarding how we portray reality.

One of the most common complaints about Christian fiction is that it’s too unrealistic. Unfortunately, there are many stories in the Christian fiction genre that either portray life for Christians as all sunshine and roses (not true, as Christians know well), or feature Christian characters as sinless, always-kind, essentially perfect people (also not the case).

This type of fiction is upsetting, whether the reader is Christian or not. Life doesn’t work that way. We all realize it. So to read a book that tries to share powerful truths and make an impact but goes about it by painting a portrait of life that no one can relate to or even believe is disappointing. The power of the Christian message, the Gospel, is lost unless it’s shown against the backdrop of the often difficult, confusing, and painful world we live in.

To write a genuinely realistic and powerful Christian book requires a lot of prayer, care, and seeking God’s help and guidance every step of the way.

That’s why when Kenny Sargent asked about writing a guest post on this topic for my blog, I was more than happy to take him up on it. Being the author of the novel Generations, he had several relevant stories that occurred during his writing process – ones that taught him a lesson very valuable for any writers seeking to glorify God with their work. I hope his message inspires you, like it does me!

You’re Chickening Out

Somewhere around May of 2017, I sat in a Colorado Starbucks with my computer open and an earpiece in my ear.

“You know you’re chickening out, don’t you?” came the voice of my editor from Kansas City.

It was one of those half-statement, half-questions that we, as authors, ignore at our own peril. Midway through the third draft of my debut novel, Generations, this was not what I wanted to hear.

And yet, it was.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“You’ve got a contract killer in your story,” she replied. “He’s not acting like one.”

Over the next few minutes, we discussed what she meant. The upshot is this: I was playing it too safe. Our conversation concluded with something like this:

“You have a river cabin scene… you need to take this all the way to the river.”

That exchange forced me to confront the following problem: How does a protagonist escape from a deadly hitman who doesn’t monologue and is good at his job? Needless to say, it took me a month to solve that conundrum. In the process, a new character was born, the story got much stronger, and the sequel was teed up in ways I couldn’t have imagined at the time.

Why was I chickening out? Simple. In an effort to tell the story in a wholesome way, I’d sanitized the threat. Because conflict is the engine that drives story, and stories are only as strong as their oppositional forces, when we dumb down the threats, we limit the power of our stories.

What’s the bottom line? For the drama to be real, the threat must be real–no cheating, no cheese, no chickening out. We must do the work to properly set up the threat and ensure—in universe—that we raise the stakes to the appropriate level.

The Counterbalance

Please don’t misunderstand me. This is not a license to put gratuitous evil into our work. We must remember that we will stand before God and give account for everything we say and everything we write. Therefore, we must prayerfully approach our work as a holy responsibility. Our readers and listeners are entrusting themselves (and sometimes their children) into our care. We want to tell stories in a manner that is worthy of that trust.

Like many things in life, the challenge of writing wholesome, yet gritty, stories is a narrow way. We can fall into a ditch on either side of the road.

Let me illustrate it this way. Near the end of the final draft of Generations, I had a scene (just after that river scene) where the sidekick gives mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to the protagonist. Shortly after that, the protagonist said, “I never thought you’d be my first kiss.”

I must confess I was proud of that line. I thought it was quite clever. However, something didn’t sit well with me. It was as if the Holy Spirit inside me was putting His finger on it.

I did all the normal things after that: rationalize, dismiss, push down the thought, justify, etc. However, the burden didn’t lift. I understand that many people—possibly most people—would not have an issue with that line. However, we ignore that feedback (the nudge of God) at our extreme peril. I finally relented and took it out. Looking back, I have zero regret. I personally don’t like to joke that way, and I’ve had stories that I’ve otherwise enjoyed that were tainted by one line or one scene.

Even more importantly, I feel like I honored the Lord in what He was asking me to do. In fact, I feel humbled and grateful that he insisted so strongly on something that I would have come to regret later. There are other areas where I’ve not listened well, and I do have regret.

Like I mentioned above, it’s a narrow way to drive real conflict into your story (i.e. don’t chicken out) and yet tell it in a wholesome way. I’m not saying everybody has to see it exactly like me, but in all you do, I encourage you to partner with God in what you create and do it all to His glory.

Kenny Sargent is an author and producer of full-cast, dramatized audiobooks. You can find him on Amazon and at www.sargentfamilyproductions.com. Their latest work is a fully dramatized version of the gaslamp fantasy, Wayfarer, by K.M. Weiland.

What are your thoughts on Christian fiction? Are you an author dealing with this careful balance? Have you read books that do this well – or don’t? I’d love to hear your opinion on what makes powerful, God-honoring fiction, so feel free to share in the comments below!

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What I’m Learning About Submission

This is a very ironic post to write.

First of all, because it’s very late – and the reason why has a lot to do with the subject of this post. (We’ll get to that soon).

Secondly because, even though it’s late, we’re still somewhat close to Independence Day. And I don’t usually think of submission and independence as topics that go together very well.

They seem almost opposites of each other. Either we’re independent; free, unchained, and in charge of ourselves. Or we’re submissive; meek, obedient, and willing to let others direct our steps. How can we be both? Is that even possible?

I think there’s a careful balance to find between the two. Too much of either one can lead to harmful choices and relationships. But when it comes to our relationship with God, I’ve been finding that submission is a bit more important than in other aspects of our lives.

Is it easy? Not at all. Personally, I’m still far from doing it well. But there’s only so much we can do on our own – and none of it is what matters most. When it comes to the truly important things in life, and beyond, submission is crucial.

I say this as someone who does struggle greatly with submission. Funny enough, I’m usually better about listening to and following the instructions of other people around me. I don’t like to rock the boat or speak up about something unless I have to. But when it comes to God, I find myself pushing back against His direction far too often.

How does this make any sense? Somehow I’m content to follow the directions of imperfect humans, but get anxious or irritated when directed along God’s perfect plans? I’m slowly working to improve at listening to Him, but far too often my nature is to fight back. To ignore what I can hear Him saying. Honestly, to disobey.

I’m not proud of it. At all. But God has been so gracious to continue to speak to me, to reach out to me, and to teach me – even after I’ve ignored or run away from Him. Every time I’m convinced I’ve messed up so badly that He’s given up on me and must not even want to think of me any more, some direction or event comes along that’s obviously from Him.

It blows me away every time. And I really wish I’d learn my lesson already, and that He wouldn’t have to continue teaching me submission over and over again…but I’m so thankful that He does. His patience is far greater than mine. What a wonderful blessing.

And to go back to the reason behind this post’s delay…God recently gave me another lesson in submitting to and trusting Him – even when what happens is something I don’t want.

As I’ve mentioned before, I recently spent a week at a writing conference in Kansas. Though I admit it was an overwhelming experience, it was also a very good one. The people were so welcoming and friendly, and I felt surprisingly at home with many of them, even though I’d never met them in person before. The sessions were incredibly inspiring and helpful too, as I try to develop a better plan for my writing.

Had my weeks before the conference been quieter, or at least normal, I think I would have had much more energy and mental clarity to give to the conference. As it was, I could tell I wasn’t quite myself. Which was frustrating to me, but God still greatly blessed the time.

Two weeks before the conference, I spent a week pouring myself into a youth church camp (another huge blessing, but not an easy one). And the week in between was spent catching up at home, unpacking and repacking, and resuming a full work schedule. I knew I’d be tired and mentally drained by the time July came, but apparently I still didn’t do as good at taking care of myself as I should have.

The week before the conference I started feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach randomly. It wasn’t consistent or too severe, and it happens somewhat frequently, so I didn’t think much of it. It continued sporadically throughout the conference, several times making me think I was going to pass out. Thankfully, it was always improved the next morning.

But on the last morning of the conference, I woke up feeling worse again, and though I know I unfortunately worried a few people that could tell I was off, I made it through the ending events and through the rest of the day with my family, and was still able to enjoy it. We drove a few hours, then stayed the night in another state, about five hours from home.

Early the next morning I woke up with the worst vertigo I’ve ever had. For most my grown years, I’ve been sensitive to motion, such as carsickness and even sitting on swings or rocking chairs. But thankfully I’d never dealt with dizziness that bad before. The room just spun, to the point where I couldn’t even see what was in front of me. Everything blurred, and I felt like I was twisting and falling, even though I was perfectly still.

I rarely ever get sick unless I actually have the stomach flu or something, but any time I tried to sit up, it made me sick. Lying down on my side, perfectly still, with my eyes closed, was the only way I could manage to soothe the spinning for a while.

There’s probably not a person alive that enjoys being completely helpless. I certainly don’t. Especially away from home, in an unfamiliar place, knowing there was a long drive ahead of us. I was honestly terrified. The only thing I could seem to manage was to pray through it. God heard a lot of desperate, panicked pleas from me that morning.

The huge blessing was that I was with my family. And God had provided for us, obviously knowing what would happen when He led us to that specific hotel, in that specific town, with the specific buildings we needed to get to nearby.

Even something as small as that our rooms were on the first floor, and that mine was at the end of the hallway, next to an exit so that my mom could practically drag me straight from my room to our vehicle. No zombie-stumbling through a lobby with a nausea bag required.

We’d borrowed a small camper, instead of cramming everyone into our normal vehicle (which would have meant no lying down on the drive home). From our hotel, we had a straight route back home, as opposed to one with twists and turns, and busy cities.

God provided.

It was in no way a pleasant trip home, but we made it, and it went far better than it could have. In an interesting twist, I spent Independence Day unable to get out of bed, but I was still able to watch movies and have a lazy day with my boyfriend and family. It took a week of remaining pretty bedridden to be up and productive again, but my sister was thankfully able to fill in with some of my work while I recovered.

Also, thanks to a random (to us, anyway – not to God!) comment from a family member, we realized that the issue was a vestibular migraine – something we hadn’t even considered because we thought migraines meant horrible headaches, and the head pain wasn’t the most painful part until much later. I don’t have a history of migraines, but then I had every symptom, and over the past several weeks, had managed to hit every well-known trigger.

The only real ‘cure’ is rest. And if you’ve been around my blog much, you probably know that I struggle with rest. I don’t like making people take care of me, and I usually feel useless and restless if I can’t do something that actually feels productive to me.

I think God has different ways of getting through to different people. Different methods of reaching them and making them listen when they won’t otherwise. Unfortunately, the method that seems to work best for me is through physical weakness. Because I tend to be stupidly stubborn, as long as I’m physically capable of doing things my own way, I probably will. But when all that’s stripped away, that’s when I finally listen to God and realize that I’m completely helpless without Him.

That’s not to say I never listen to Him unless I’m sick. Thankfully, I’m trying to improve, and God’s been making progress with me. But there are still far too many times that I realize God’s been trying to get my attention, and I didn’t listen until I had nothing else to turn to.

To be honest, this post is difficult to write, because I feel like a hypocrite. Why am I writing all about something I’m still so far from doing well? More often than not, I don’t submit to God like I know I should. But I am working on it, and slowly, more slowly than I’d like, seeing growth in one area at a time. I suspect it will be a lifelong pursuit.

But as hard as it is, I’ve never regretted submitting to God. About anything. Sure, it’s often hard in the moment, or for a while after the fact, but eventually the peace sets in, and I can realize all over again why God’s way truly is the best way.

The best part is I don’t even have to know what God has planned in order to submit to it. In fact, most of the time I have no clue. But I can always trust that it’s the right thing to do, and that in in the end, things will work out better because of it. If nothing else, I’m better because of it. Maybe things don’t work out in any way that I could call good, but I don’t see the full picture, and from the simple act of trusting and believing God, I’m better.

I find a lot of peace and comfort in that assurance.

And that’s what I see God trying to teach me again right now. Through many of the conversations at the camp I recently counseled for, to lessons I’m learning in my relationships with other people, to realizations that occurred at the conference, and definitely in the sick week afterward…I recognize God’s promptings, and I’m trying to not be so stubborn and just listen.

Life – and myself – are so much better when I do.

What are your thoughts about submission? Do you have any experiences you’d like to share? I’d love to hear about them so please feel free to let me know in the comments.

He [Jesus] withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 
And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly,
and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.
(Luke 22:41-44 NIV)

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2022 June Wrap-Up

Hello and happy Wednesday!

Today’s post brings another summary of the past month of my life – with writing progress reports, reading accomplishments, and general updates!

So without further ado . . .

General Update

Where to start? June was crazy, even more so than I anticipated it being back in May. This week is the first one that I’ve been able to start getting back to normal, which is also why you haven’t seen much of me before this post. I had good intentions, but God had better plans. And now I’m trying to settle back into the right balance of work + writing + people. I’ll be sharing more about the spiritual side of things on Sunday (in a post that was meant for July 3rd…), but for now, I’d like to give you a little recap of the month.

My June alternated between a week of work and packing, followed by a week of being gone, and so on. The first week away from home was spent counseling for a youth church camp. I’ve previously counseled there several times, including once for that specific event before. Last year I came back saying it was one of the most challenging, yet rewarding things I’d ever done. This year was even more so! Someone described it as being a pitcher pouring into the kids, and by the end of the week, you’re just drained. I found that to be very true, but getting to be there for each of the kids in their journeys was definitely worth it.

After another busy week back home, I left again for Kansas for the One Year Adventure Novel Summer Workshop. It was about an eight-hour drive – not horrible, but the longest trip I’ve been in a vehicle for. And to be honest, I don’t believe I’ve fully processed this week yet. There was so much going on! Lots of informative sessions, hours of critique groups and notes, conversations (and getting to room with) people I never thought I’d meet face-to-face, a brainstorm meeting with a literary agent, fun and crazy activities, and a completely new environment. Due to the busyness before this week, I was more exhausted than I’d have liked to be, but I enjoyed it and am very thankful for getting to be part of it.

Fiction Writing

With June having been such a crazy month, my writing accomplishments were few and far between. I didn’t make any substantial progress on any project – whether in fiction or on the blog – but I did learn a lot during the conference, and devoted some time to putting what I’d learned into practice. This included outlining for a future project, as well as troubleshooting past ones, like Cabin Girl. I’m glad I took the time to focus on those things.

In addition, for the conference I needed four, four-page excerpts for the critique group I was assigned to. And because I’m crazy, I decided to bring pieces from a fantasy that I’d barely started a while ago and would like to work on more amidst Cabin Girl. I ended up writing 3,305 more fiction words in that story before the conference, which gave me enough excerpts. Fantasy is not my comfort genre to write, so I appreciated all the feedback!

On the Blog

Despite being gone and without access to my computer for about half of June, I still stayed on track with my monthly 4-6 blog posts goal! Mostly because I’d gotten them almost completely prepared back in May, and I’m so thankful I was able to do that. I published seven posts in June, which seems to be the perfect amount of monthly posts for me right now.

Here are the posts for June (just click on the titles to read them):

~ 2022 May Wrap-Up
~ What I’m Learning About Vulnerability
~ The Get to Know Me Tag – Writer’s Edition
~ My Favorite Friendships in Fiction
~ 10 Impactful Quotes About Fathers
~ The Bookworm’s Tag (#3)
~ 5 Reasons Why Writers Need Community

Reading List

To be completely honest, my reading list went a bit haywire in June. I read bits and pieces of a lot of different books, but with being gone so much and super busy when I wasn’t gone, I don’t even think I finished most of them. In fact, I even added quite a few books to my collection from the conference…needless to say, I’ve got catching up to do!

I’m pretty sure the only book I finished was A Little Book on the Christian Life by John Calvin. This was a gift from my cousin, and a powerful, short read that I actually did manage to finish during the conference. I’m glad I did! It was packed with insights and wisdom, and I feel like I’m going to need to read it a few more times to really let everything sink in.

Other than that, here’s my list of the books I believe I’ve started in the past month and still need to prioritize finishing…

~ A Lifting Up For the Downcast by William Bridge
~ Lest Innocent Blood Be Shed by Philip Hallie
~ Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
~ Go Teen Writers: Write Your Novel by Stephanie Morrill, Jill Williamson, & Shannon Dittemore

Looking Forward

Here I am writing a recap for June, and it’s already halfway through July…the month is flying by. I’ll expand on this in my next post, but on the last half-day of the conference I started feeling poorly, and the next morning woke up in a hotel five hours from home with what we’ve since found out was a vestibular migraine. I’ve never dealt with migraines before this, just occasional vertigo, but I would be more than okay with never experiencing one again. About a week of only being able to be out of bed for short periods, if at all.

I thought I’d be back to work and catching up on things the week after returning from Kansas, but instead, I’ve only just gotten back into things the past couple of days. I’m still not 100% myself yet, but the improvement is such a relief. I never thought I’d be so grateful to go back to work, haha. So to me, it feels like July just started, and I think that ‘loss of time’ is going to keep throwing me off the rest of this summer.

Although it’s not started off exactly how I envisioned or would have chosen it to go, I’m trying to stay realistic this summer, and just trust God. I really don’t know what’s going to happen in the next couple of months. There are so many things up in the air. But as the last week or so – actually the entire month of June – kept reminding me, God is in control and He knows best. So my main task for this next month of resettling and prioritizing is just to stay in step with Him, and not let myself get carried away by believing I know best. I don’t!

What was YOUR June like? What kinds of things did you get to do? If you have a progress report on something, or books you read and would like to share, go ahead and let me know in the comments! And while you’re at it, feel free to include what you’re looking forward to and/or hoping to accomplish in July! As always, I’m excited to hear from you!

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5 Reasons Why Writers Need Community

Hello and happy Wednesday!

As you read this, I’m currently halfway through an in-person writing conference. And what an adventure it’s been so far! While I’ve attended several online conferences, this is my first one in-person, and I’m so thankful for the opportunity. Getting the chance to learn so much about writing is such a blessing!

It’s also been wonderful to spend the week with a great group of fellow writers! Though the introvert in me struggles sometimes (haha), I’ve enjoyed meeting everyone and look forward to keeping in touch with many of them. There’s just something about being immersed in a sea of other passionate writers that makes me very inspired and motivated.

And the week has been an excellent reminder of how important writing community it is. Though I’ve been blessed to be part of a large online writing community for years now, writing community can also just mean having a friend or two who is a writer. It can be as expansive and organized, or as small and informal, as you want. It simply means knowing and interacting with other writers.

For quite a few years when I first started writing, I kept it to myself. No one else could read it, I didn’t really talk about it to other people, and I didn’t know any other writers. My writing was a solo endeavor, and I figured everything out (or tried to anyway) on my own. At the time I didn’t see any problem with that.

It wasn’t until I reached my sophomore year of high school and I joined an online writing community that I realized what I’d been missing. All of a sudden, I had people to talk to my writing about, brainstorm story ideas with, ask to proofread my work (and offer to do the same for them), laugh over writing memes with, receive encouragement and feedback from, and learn with.

I’ve noticed the largest amount of growth and improvement in my writing since getting involved with fellow writers – by far! Looking back, that’s when my growth really started. Though I made small steps forward by myself, receiving other feedback and bouncing ideas off others was what made the largest difference.

It also has been the biggest reason I’ve continued to write. I absolutely love writing, but every writer gets discouraged. And my struggle with perfectionism and self-criticism has tempted me to give up many times. The support and kindness I’ve received from those in the writing community has been a huge blessing. No matter how down I get about myself and my writing, community has always helped me find my way back to enjoying it again.

When I started writing, I had false ideas about what it meant to be a writer. I thought it meant isolation, solitude, and working alone. And while a large part of writing is solo work, that doesn’t have to be all. In fact, writing is most fulfilling when others are involved.

Writing community is all over and in many different forms. It can mean joining an online forum, getting involved in a local writing group, meeting for coffee (or tea!) with a friend who also enjoys writing…anything that fits our personality best and gets us interacting with other writers. The benefits of not only keeping our writing journeys to ourselves are numerous.

I’ve been reflecting on that this week, and thought I’d share five reasons why I believe writers need community of some sort. If you’re not currently involved with other writers, my hope is that these reasons encourage you to seek out writing community of your own!

Encouragement

This is one of the most important reasons to find a writing community in my opinion. Every writer goes through periods of time where they don’t feel like their writing is any good. We get discouraged, we criticize every element of our work, and we wonder why we’re even writing in the first place. The phrase that we’re our own worst critics is usually very true.

Discouragement is a crippling thing to experience, and if left unchecked, it can lead to truly talented writers giving up. An encouraging writing community can make all the difference in a situation like this. When we feel like our stories are horrible, our writing is worthless, and we should just give up, even just one encouraging statement to the contrary can give us new perspective.

A good writer friend will always encourage you. Now, this doesn’t mean lie to you if you ask for feedback and something truly needs work. But an encouraging friend will make sure to point out what you’re doing right while they offer suggestions for making something better. They’ll emphasize what they like about it, how much potential it has, and that every story or article has to start somewhere. Writing can always improve if we just keep at it. But it takes encouragement and someone believing in us before we find strength to keep going.

Feedback

This is another huge reason to find writing community. Outside perspectives are crucial when it comes to growing as a writer. Of course, we want to find people that we can trust – people that will be encouraging while they’re helping us – but once we do, those insights are like gold. Receiving feedback from fellow writers will help us see our writing in a new light and hopefully catch mistakes and oversights that we missed.

One caveat to this is that just because someone has suggested something, doesn’t mean you’re obligated to change anything about your writing. Everyone has different opinions, and what one person may dislike might be another’s favorite part. Writing styles vary and that’s okay! So when receiving feedback, keep in mind that you don’t have to change anything. Feedback is simply giving another perspective.

The key is to find perspectives that you can trust. Find writing community with writers whose work you enjoy and respect. Still take that feedback with a grain of salt, but if you consider the writer to be knowledgeable, then definitely use the opportunity to learn! And it doesn’t only have to be feedback about writing technique, but also about what they think from a reader’s perspective too. It’s difficult to see our works from an unbiased light, so finding out others’ impressions of our characters, writing style, material, etc. is so helpful!

Friendship

Writing community is important simply for the friendship aspect! It’s always nice to have friends that share some of your hobbies and passions. A common belief is that writers are isolated hermits, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Yes, we spend a lot of time alone while we write, but that doesn’t mean we can’t ever have friendships. In fact, in my experience, writing friendships tend to be some of the most supportive relationships there are.

As nice as it is to have friends that will give feedback and help you when you ask for it, writing friendships are important simply because they’re enjoyable! Who else are you going to gush to about your characters, talk to about your latest project, or share writing jokes with? And they’ll certainly do the same with you. Sometimes just being able to talk about writing and share our experiences is all we need to stay inspired and motivated.

I’m not much of a social butterfly, and making friends has never come especially easily to me. So the opportunity to make friends with people who share a passion of mine has been such a blessing. If nothing else, there’s always that one thing in common, and there’s always something interesting to talk about. Finding a writing community can lead to some very meaningful and uplifting relationships, so I definitely recommend looking for them!

Help

Technically, everything I’ve mentioned so far can count as help – encouragement, feedback, and friendship. But writing community can also lead to a lot of practical help as well. Writers are a versatile bunch, and everyone has a different set of skills and talents. When we band together to help one another out, a lot can happen!

For example, I’m not very good at graphic design, so asking the opinion of fellow writers with an eye for design has been so helpful in my publishing journey so far. For book covers, social media graphics, blog post headers…all sorts of images. It’s just not my strength, and I’m so grateful for the help I’ve received from other writers that excel in that area. And similarly, I’ve been able to offer help to writers that struggle with writing dialogue.

Most writers really enjoy helping each other out in any way they can. Whether it’s proofreading, brainstorming with one another, spreading the word about a published work, researching, swapping skills (such as making a cover, offering to edit, or formatting), or anything else. Writers working together and combining strengths can accomplish so much for everyone involved. So knowing other writers is helpful from a practical sense, too.

Support

Once again, this encompasses most, if not all, of the previous points, but a writing community is also a wonderful support system. Though I’ve heard some people claim that writers are competition and treat one another accordingly, that’s not the majority of what I’ve seen. Instead, most writers are very willing and eager to support one another.

Support can look like whatever it is that you’re needing at the time. Practical help, like the things we looked at above (proofreading, graphics, etc.), encouragement when you’re feeling unmotivated and amateur, feedback when you’re looking to gain other perspectives, spreading the word about your writing to others, someone to gush, brainstorm, and laugh with, or simply a kind word on a rough day.

No matter how much we love writing, eventually everyone runs into troubles, difficult days, and issues that we don’t know how to deal with on our own. That’s when having support is crucial. Having other people to lift us up and help us back on our trek again can make all the difference between a stressful writing journey and a fulfilling one. In my experience, community between writers is something very worth seeking out.

And those are five reasons why I believe writers need community. Can writers still write without it? Yes, of course. But in my opinion, encouragement, support, help, and feedback are crucial to growth as a writer, and to a fulfilling writing journey. Having fellow writers that can assist you and build you up when you’re tempted to quit makes such a difference!

What do you think about having a community as a writer? Are you part of a writing community? Why or why not? I’d love to hear about your experience, so feel free to tell me about it in the comments below!

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