Stephen K. Ray's Blog, page 55

For those hesitating about our Poland Pilgrimage – watch this recent short testimonial!

Poland ! The land of modern saints. We will follow Pope St. John Paul II, Maximilian Kolbe and Maria Faustina among others.

This land is rich with Catholic culture, great food, friendly people, and beautiful churches. Some who have traveled with us have said Poland has been their favorite destination.

Is it safe and easy to travel to Poland on pilgrimage? YES! In a few minutes Doug and Shannon will share their experience in Poland just last week. They mention two guides Olga and Jacek. These are OUR two guides we will be using in August of this year!

Join us before it is full — and it is filling fast!

See our brochure, interactive map, itinerary, pricing and more. Click brochure below.

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Sunday’s Readings: Running with Jesus on the Road to Emmaus

This blog post and video was first uploaded in 2011 when I was still running. One day I decided to follow the Road to Emmaus, and I hoofed it from Jerusalem to Abu Ghosh, which is one of the main sites claiming to be Emmaus. No one is quite sure of the several alternatives.

Since the readings at Mass this Sunday are from St. Luke, 24 (one of my favorite gospel readings) I thought I would share it again today so you can get an idea of the landscape and the journey Jesus took with the two men as they discussed many things along the way.

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I didn’t realize it would be quite so long and I made a wrong turn or two that turned this into a 14 mile run — and through hilly country. But I loved it and gave a few meditations along the way imagining walking along with Jesus.

Abu Ghosh is a site is known for two things: 1) a possible site for the city of Emmaus where Jesus walked with two disciples; and 2) the place where the Ark of the Old Covenant rested for 20 years before David came to fetch it for Jerusalem.

The walk to Emmaus is one of my favorite passages in Scripture and reflects the Mass — Jesus giving them the word and then the Bread. I love to meditate on that passage and imagine what Jesus might have said to them during their long walk.

Secondly, the Ark of the Old Covenant contained the word of God inscribed in stone but in Mary, the Ark of the New Covenant is the Word of God inscribed in flesh. The parallels are phenomenal and I mention a few as I run along the road.

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Divine Providence, or, Why it’s Smart to Trust God (my recent experience)

The events surrounding my knee surgery were so providential that I had to write down the timeline to give glory to God.

And, why it is smart to put your life in God’s hands.

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I had no doctor or hospital in mind for knee surgery and was told most doctors will not do two knees at once. My personal physician Dr. Chavey at Emmaus Health, a very devout Catholic with a very devout practice, recommended Dr. Creg Carpenter in Chelsea Michigan.

I figured it was time to make an appointment with Dr. Carpenter because of Chavey’s recommendation and because my knees were progressively getting worse. Janet and I moved a few things around on our calendar and determined the only time we could block out for surgery would be April-July, 2023.

When I called to set up our first meeting I found out it would be 6 months before Dr. Carpenter could arrange a consultation, which would be the end of 2022. Not good! I was afraid that he would be unable to fit me in for surgery with our timeframe of April-July.

So I asked Dr. Chavey for a second recommendation and he suggested a doctor at U of M hospital in Ann Arbor. I called and the two appointments with the two doctors ended up two days apart in October.

We usually don’t go to the dinner parties. But on a whim we decided to accept this invitation even though we only knew a few people. So on the evening of August 20,2022 we spent the evening with our friends Liz Lev, her husband Thomas Williams, Teresa Tomeo and John Hale at a house we’d never visited before with a host we did not know. We were kind of “tag-a-longs”.

Unbeknownst to us, this dinner was a divine appointment. The host was wearing shorts with long scars on each knee. He had recently had both of his knees done separately — one by Dr. Carpenter and one by U of M. What are the chances of that considering my two upcoming appointments??

He said, “DON’T go to U of M—there’s no comparison with the results of each of my knees. U of M is a teaching hospital (so guess who operates), but Dr. Carpenter is a professional who only does knees. Make sure you get Dr. Carpenter out at Chelsea hospital.” What a providential divine appointment that dinner was!

I took his advice as from the Lord and the next day I canceled the appointment with the U of M doctor. With anxiety and lots of prayers we waited for my meeting on October 27 with Dr. Carpenter.

Knowing it took me 6 months to make the first appointment with Dr. Carpenter I was still very nervous about him having time to fit my surgery within my timeframe. Or even that he would accept me as a patient. He came highly recommended—but highly recommended doctors are also very busy and I was told that he was fully booked into the future. I learned later that people come from all over the country to have him do their knees, and he does six to nine knees a day.

After waiting 6 months just to get a consultation, I was stressed that he could not do the surgery for a year or so, since he was so busy.

We met with Dr. Carpenter on October 27, 2022. When he entered the room he exuded confidence. He was friendly and professional, and I immediately sensed I was in the right place at the right time. God was moving events and dates like pieces on a chessboard. I could sense his divine smile.

Though doctors rarely do two knees at once (and my timeline required bi-lateral surgery) I was blessed by the Lord again. He said I was skinny and healthy and youngish and determined, so he would go ahead and do both knees for me.

He also had a quick smile and witty sense of humor. I was 165 pounds at the time and told him I would drop another 10 pounds to make it easier (which I did) and he laughed and said, “In the knee surgery world, you are a minnow in a pond full of whales.“

When Dr. Carpenter left the room I was confident and grateful — but the time of the surgery was still unknown.

Janet and I had blocked out April-July over a year ago with hopes (and the need) that the doctor could do it then. We would be arriving home from Israel on April 3, 2023. After working through our calendar we decided April 5 was the first day we could have the surgery done — and that would give me four months to recuperate before leaving for Poland with a group on the first week of August.

The doctor said he didn’t know his schedule but to talk to his assistant. The assistant apologized and said, “I am sorry but the doctors is very busy and booked up for the near future. The soonest he could get you in would be April 5. Huh?!?!

There’s no expressing the emotion and gratefulness that welled up in heart! It confirmed the Lord’s will and his timing. I love confirmations like that. That date was only available in a small medical center in Brighton Michigan. We found out later that this was by far the best place to have the surgery and Dr. Carpenter only works there one day a week.

Since then, we have talked to a lot of people, including the hospital staff, and many others who almost bow in reference when Dr. Carpenter‘s name is mentioned. They all say he is the very best and can do knees in about half the time of other doctors with better success and that you heal better and faster with Dr. Carpenter‘s knees.

And so with all the divine planning and assistance, on April 5 I went under the knife and I had no idea what hit me when I woke up. But everyone says I’ll be happy when it’s all over. On our 2-week conference call yesterday Dr. Carpenter said I was healing and rehabbing very well.

So I conclude with two favorite passages of Scripture…

Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

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Two Weeks Later: Update on my Knee Progress

Knee Surgery Update at Two Weeks — the Worst is Past!

Right now it is 8:30 AM on Wednesday, April 19. Exactly two weeks ago at this moment I had walked in to the surgical wing of Trinity Hospital (with crosses in all the rooms, for which I thanked them). They told me to disrobe and put on the silly medical gown, which is open in the back. After decades of medical practice, you’d think they’d come up with something better than that, but there I stood with a breeze at my backside. 

Six medical personnel kept identifying themselves and asking for my birthdate— probably to insure they were operating on the right guy, but maybe also to see if I was alert and ready for this procedure. The laid me on the bed with wheels. 

The anesthesiologist made me sign papers, then added the drip through a needle inserted into the back of my hand. He asked me if I felt anything. I said no, so he upped the drip and the next thing I knew — well I knew nothing. I was out! From that point on the only thing I know is what they told me and what I saw a few hours later when I woke up.

These two weeks have been the most unusual, unexpected, disorientating, frustrating, never-ending and painful I’ve ever had in my life. Prior to the double knee replacement surgery, when I did my pre-op preparation, Dr. Carpenter’s medical assistant told me, “The first two weeks are the worst. You’ll wish you had never done it!” Wow, was she right! There have never been truer words spoken.

Since I’ve been laying here in bed and struggling to get up and move around, I have been inundated with lovely notes and email encouragements and prayers from friends far and wide, even from people I don’t know. It helps to keep perspective—I’m just one of millions going through similar experiences and worse. I am learning empathy and perspective! 

Many people are going through surgery and other procedures and experiencing more pain than I did and it’s out of their control. I walked into the hospital and paid them to do this to me!

So, things are increasingly better. I am up five or six times a day with the walker moving around the house, taking showers, using the restroom on my own, raiding the refrigerator, doing the exercises (ouch!), and sleeping a little better. My good wife, Janet is constantly at my side. She has never left for more than 30 minutes at a time to run up to the store or the post office. I sure married up when God helped us find each other. 

The physical therapist named Jigar (pronounced like a jigger of whiskey) has been great and says I’m making excellent progress. I will miss him after his last visit today. Starting Friday we have to leave the house and go to an offsite physical therapist three times a week for a couple of months. Today Jigar is going to make me get out of bed and walk outside, down the steps to get into the car in preparation for Friday. It’ll be nice to smell the fresh spring air.

We are grateful for all the notes, emails and blog comments. Thanks for the many heartfelt prayers and well-wishes. They mean a lot.

Thanks to God for his nearness and blessings in the midst of this. I’m especially grateful for the healing process that he built into our bodies on the day when he made us male and female. On the 7th day God ceased from his initial creation, but the work of creation did not stop on that day. Every time a new cell replaces an old one, a wound is healed, and the bloodstream brings life-giving nutrition—the work of creation is continuing. 

John 5:16–17:  “This was why the Jews were persecuting Jesus, because he was doing these things on the Sabbath. But Jesus answered them, “My Father is working until now, and I am working.” 

Even on the Sabbath the Trinity is continually working to hold all of existence in existence, to continue the creation process through redemption, healing and restoration. Every new baby and healed wound is God still at work. 

Colossians 1:17  “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”

My goal is to be up and walking around on my own somewhat normal in a couple of weeks and ready to board a plane to take our groups to Poland in August and Israel four times yet this year. I can’t wait to bound up and down the steps of the bus and up and down the stairs into churches without grimacing and hanging on to railing for my balance. Upward and onward!

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Adorable Little Girl “Pelvis is Gender-specific” – too good!

Encyclopedia Britannica: “Sex differences in the pelvis are marked and reflect the necessity in the female of providing an adequate birth canal for a large-headed fetus. In comparison with the male pelvis, the female basin is broader and shallower; the birth canal rounded and capacious; the sciatic notch wide and U-shaped … Those differences reach their adult proportions only at puberty.”

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Day 11 after Surgery and Light at the End of the Tunnel

A lot of friends and fellow travelers have asked me to give periodic updates on my recovery. I wrote a much longer one on Day 6 but today it will be brief.

When I wrote the earlier update, I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I would never want to be back there. A lot has changed since then and now hope shines a bit brighter.

The pain is much better now and I even go through periods with no pain when I’m laying still. The doctors said sleeping would be a problem for a while and they were certainly right. My good wife Janet gets me up four times a day with the walker to use the restroom and to walk (shuffle around the house). She is the best and I tell her I would happily do all of this for her if she ever needed it.

We were thinking back over our romance and love over the last 46 years. At first we were just friends back in 1972. Four years later that turned into romance and infatuation. I still remember the giddy emotions — she was all I could think about. We got married and a year later our first daughter Cindy came along. Things changed.

We wanted to maintain the romance so we made sure we went on a date every week even if it was difficult. Sometimes it was just holding hands walking around the block or going on a simple picnic in the field behind the house. But over the years that love his deepened beyond anything young giddy kids could know or expect. (Unless of course they had good parents for an example of devoted marital love.) She’s practicing that love for me now, and said she likes taking care of me. I’m a lucky man!

But it is certainly reciprocal. Long before this ever happened with my knees, I used to tell Janet that, even if she was ever in an accident and paralyzed, it would be my honor to push her around in a wheelchair and take care of her. The Catholic Church is right on love and marriage. Those couples that practice the Church’s principles bear the fruit throughout life.

Yesterday she helped me to my desk chair where I sat for awhile and ate dinner and even did a bit paperwork.

Sitting there I had to do all the exercise of stretching my legs out as far as I can get them to reach 180° and pulling them back trying to get to a 90° angle. They say I have two weeks to get to that 90° angle to be successfully rehabilitating. Seems like a simple feat but when I’m done, I feel like I ran a marathon (OK, exaggerating a little bit). Each of these excursions are followed by raising my legs and putting ice on my knees.

We took the bandages off two days ago and the scars were scary looking. But we had the best doctor anywhere in the area and he did a great job. My daughter Emily is a nurse and she said it all looked good. They gave me Tylenol and oxycodone to handle the pain but we never used the oxycodone after the first day and a half. It didn’t do anything and those narcotics scare me anyway. So we’ve been surviving with the Tylenol which has done a pretty good job.

So there’s a bit of an update. My wonderful daughter Emily and her husband Sean have been bringing us the Eucharist on Sundays. What a lovely thing to see your daughter walk in with Eucharist and say the prayers with her old dad.

Every day is getting a little better and they say by the end of the third week I should be up and about, and looking towards a bit of normality. We’ll see! God bless you all and thanks for your prayers and support.

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Resurrection Appearances: Places & People

Here is my  list of the post-resurrection appearances of Jesus — places and people.

Then more information on his 40 days as a resurrected body on the earth in Q & A format.

Click here for the document: https://catholicconvert.com/wp-content/uploads/Resurrection-People-who-witnessed.pdf

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Thoughts on Day 6 after Double Knee Replacement

On Wednesday before Easter, I had  total joint replacement — radical surgery on both my knees. Although the process and recovery was explained to me in great detail, not only by my doctors, but by friends who are veterans of this procedure, I don’t think I was anywhere near prepared for the experience.

I have never spent a night in a hospital nor have I ever had any major surgery. “Activity” has always been my middle name. Laying strapped down on my back with pain on my back —  nearly immovable wiggling around in the core of my being made me want to bellow out at the restriction. Pain meds, yes. But it has seemed as successful as blocking the light from your window with a postage stamp. I was told the pain from the surgery, and the swelling, would increase and not subside for at least 6 to 7 days.

This whole experience has taught me a few while laying in bed despairing of  ever seeing the end of this. What I am sharing now will not some profound theological treatise; rather these are some simple thoughts and reflections on the 6th day after the surgery.

First, there is really no way you can prepare for something like this psychologically or physically. Exercise and good nutrition, following the rules, taking counsel — all of these are good and necessary. But when they actually put you under, cut both knees open, pull the bones out, cut the bones, attach titanium and plastic parts, rearrange the muscles, ligaments, nerves and kneecap and then sew you back up — there’s just no way to physically or psychologically be prepared for that. 

I know you can watch movies on YouTube of this whole procedure but I opted out for now. There is no way that it would help me recover physically and psychologically now. My son-in-law is a doctor who has worked on knee replacement surgeries and his only comment was, “It is brutal.” One big comfort was that my knee doctor Creg Carpenter is renowned as one of the best. He exudes confidence, and I felt confident the moment I was in his presence. He talked about what he would do, agreed to do both at the same time, and I made my final decision.

Second, should you do one knee at time or both together? That was a big question constantly asked. It was never really an issue for me. I wanted to get it done and over with. I knew it would be debilitating and it has been. But the thought of going back in and doing this again would be unbearable. The doctor said it was a good idea, the nurses said it was a good idea and the physical therapist said I made the right choice. I was a good candidate they said because I was light-weighted, youngish (68), healthy and determined.

I would do both knees again because it’s such an awful experience I wouldn’t want to experience it twice.

Third, l learned a good bit more about intimacy with God. I am no mystic or contemplative, but this crisis puts you in touch with him if you are open to his intimacy. It was interesting that my operation was on Wednesday and the next day was Holy Thursday when the Passion began. I felt like I was in the middle of it.

My wonderful wife, Janet has made this much more bearable. She is the best wife, friend and nurse ever! If you someday go through an experience like this, make sure you have someone with you 24 hours a day and hopefully someone who loves you. But even with all the love and attention she’s giving me, I know she cannot experience what I am experiencing. Only God can do that. That puts me at a level of intimacy with him that I haven’t sensed before.

One example, is when the nerve blockers ran out on the fourth day. Even with that nerve blocker, it was still excruciating to move. I could only anticipate what could happen when they pulled those tubes out. I said, “Please Lord!” I wore my fingers out crossing myself that morning. The tubes were pulled out, and I waited. But there was no drastic change. I felt the Lord has blessed me in a special way that day. 

Fourth, I’ve never considered myself to be especially empathetic. I think I’m always quick to help people and feel sorry for them, but not true empathy. Empathy means “the identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, etc., of another.” It is a “feeling with” —  sharing the experience of another. How can I do that if I haven’t experienced something similar myself?

Laying in bed here I thought of friends and family who have gone through serious operations, car, accidents, or other devastating, physical calamities. I realize now I never really entered into their suffering or understood it. I think that will change now. With God we can always bring some good out suffering. Even Jesus “learned obedience through what he suffered” (Heb 5:8).

Fifth, we often hear Catholics say “Offer it up!”) This was always a strange thing for me having come from a Protestant background. It was foreign territory. I learned to understood it in theory, and I know that Saint Paul said that he offered up his sufferings to fill her that which is lacking in the sufferings of Christ.

Col 1:24:   “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church.”

It seems he is trying to teach us some thing here. Our sufferings can be redemptive. It is not that the work of Christ was incomplete or insufficient, but rather, Christ invites us to join with him in the work of redemption. I can join my sufferings to his, and I think I learned a bit about that more during this Passion Week.

So I picked people that I was going to offer my sufferings up for. One is for a friend, which I will not discuss here in case he reads this, and the other is for my grandson Damian, who is having serious eye problems. Whenever my pain would increase, I would mention their two names. I think I’ve learned a bit more about this aspect of Catholic teaching through this bout of my own suffering.

Sixth, today is the first time I sense there is light at the end of the tunnel. We are on Day 6. My wife says I am improving a little bit each day. The physical therapist said he was proud of me and that I am doing good. 

Several positive things I look forward to. Implementing the things that I have learned in my daily life when this is over. Being able to walk, go up and down stairs, and move about freely without pain and holding onto things for my balance. I’m anxious to get back in the air for giving live conferences and leading pilgrimages. That was a huge incentive for doing this now that it would not hinder us leading groups through all the biblical lands for the next 20 years or so, as God wills. 

And lastly, a little bit on the humorous side, the doctor said I could possibly increase my height by an inch and a half. This is because my legs were very bowed since the cartilage was gone on the inside of the knees. The knees pushed outward. My wife laughed yesterday, “Steve, your legs are straight again!” Straightening out gains me at least half an inch and is easier on hips and ankles. Plus Dr. Carpenter inserted new 1 inch plastic cartilages in each knee.

Thank you Lord for your sustaining blessings! Thanks Janet for your unflagging support. Thanks to hundreds of family and friends for your prayers and moral support. 

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Flint Knives at the Heart of the Gospel

Ah, excuse me? What do flint knives have to do with the Gospel? A whole lot! Abraham believed God against all odds and as a reward he was given the special sign of the Covenant with God. And what was that wonderful sign between them?

In Genesis 17:10-11 God announces this sign to Abraham: “This is my covenant, which you shall keep, between me and you and your descendants after you: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskins, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and you.”

Ouch! Abraham gathers his 350+ men together and says, “Hey Kies, do you want the good news first or the bad news? God has finally given us a sign of his covenant but…!”

What kind of sign is that? But Abraham obeyed and at 99 years old, Abraham dropped his . . . well, anyway, he did the surgery and again demonstrated his faith and obedience to God. And so did all the men with him.

Next we read of Joshua’s bloody job after the hundreds of thousands of men with their families crossed the Jordan River to possess the Promised Land.

“At that time the Lord said to Joshua, ‘Make flint knives and circumcise the people of Israel again the second time.’So Joshua made flint knives, and circumcised the people of Israel” (Joshua 5:2-3). The place was called “the Hill of the Foreskins”

In the early Church, many of the Jews insisted that all gentiles be circumcised before they were allowed to be Christians. The Apostles, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in the first recorded Church Council (Acts 15) said “NO!”  Thanks be to God!

The whole gospel is about how Jesus came to save the Gentiles as well as the Jews. The question was, how do we get both groups into one family. Circumcision was one of the biggest issues in the way. Looked at in one way, the whole New Testament is about circumcision, how to deal with that and how to receive Gentiles into the family of God without it.

These flint knives were made for me as a generous and remarkable gift by Mike Cook of Portland Michigan. He is a “flintknapper” and primitive skills enthusiast (and also a student of the Bible!). The large one has a handle made from the jawbone of a black bear!

They are beautifully crafted and will always be a gift I treasure and which I will use in my Bible studies and apologetic work. I am overwhelmed with his skill and kindness.

I have also provided his letter about his craft and the biblical wisdom regarding flint knives and circumcision. You can read it here. Enjoy — and thanks so much Mike!

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Tears Reading Happy-Sad-Emotional Story to the Grandkids; and Saving a Bird

(I wrote this a few years ago, but thought I would share it again — it is what families should be and do.)

Families are great and so are great stories. One of our favorite authors is W. Wilson Rawls who only wrote two books but they are both treasures — especially for reading aloud to kids.

The first of Rawls’ books we read a year or so ago was entitled Where the Red Fern Grows. What a great story, especially to read aloud with the wind blowing and the fireplace dancing.

This weekend our family is all together for Easter. My son Jesse and his wife Anna are home with their seven kids and Charlotte and Wes are home too. I started reading The Summer of the Monkeys a week ago to the seven Ray kids when I visited them near Chicago and we are finishing it up this weekend. I lay on the couch (my official reading position) and they are piled on all around me.

Today we are coming to the end of the story of a boy raised in the Ozark’s who wants nothing more than his own pony. He finally earns the pony but almost immediately takes it back to use the money for another purpose (I won’t spoil the book for you). I had tears in my eyes and it took every bit of will power I had to keep reading. Good thing I had a handkerchief with me.

Mom was always the best mom ever, cleaning, cooking, and caring while Dad read us stories

My dad could never finish reading such a book to us kids without tearing up at the end. My mom usually had to finish the last chapter. My dad would not buy us a TV as we grew up — he chose instead to read us stories every night after dinner. I love him for that great gift. He read us many of these great classics for families.

I know the last 20 pages of the book will be almost impossible for me to finish tonight but I’ll give it my best shot. If I get too choked, Janet or one of the grandkids will have to finish reading the final pages.

On another note, a bird flew in front on the van on the way home from the Easter Vigil Mass. It was a rare bird, at least not seen very often due to it’s nocturnal habits and shy demeanor. Even as a birdwatcher all my life I had never seen an American Woodcock.

My son jumped from his van with his kids and picked it up off the road. They nursed it to health yesterday and we put it back outside. It slept on our rocks overnight and this morning flew away. It was a pleasant, unexpected and welcomed visit. Now we have one more bird to check off our Life List of Birds We’ve Seen.

Being a family is very cool — God knew what he was doing.

All the grandkids signed the Title Page after we finished the book. It is now a family heirloom.

UPDATE: Just finished reading the story at 3:30 PM on Easter Sunday. Emotional ending. Great story of family bonds, Christian morality, deferred pleasure and eternal values in the midst of tough trials, painful choices and childhood dreams. Horses, crippled legs, hound dogs, 22 rifles, suffering, growing up and loyalty.

In the tradition of my mother and father who read us countless stories, we finished the adventure together today by writing about the story, the date and the people listening to the story read.

Today was no different. Here is the title page with the story book we just read and the signature of the grandkids who sat enraptured until the tearful end. Now we are thinking of the next book we will read together.

Blessed be God forever! I love my family! Happy Easter! (Can’t wait to read these stories again to new grandkids as they grow older and new ones as they are born.)

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