Andrew Moore's Blog, page 96
February 13, 2023
The Next Science Fiction Subgenre
Cybernonpunk. The world is run by megacorporations, and they do a decent job. Not perfect, there are still problems, but people get by.
It Also Closed Down Social Media
"Here's the good news, ladies and gentlemen. Our company's Valentine's AI project has produced a genuine artificial intelligence in time for February."
"Great!"
"Fantastic!"
"So what's the bad news?"
"Here's the bad news. It's taken over and is arranging marriages for everyone in the world. Participation is not optional."
"Suboptimal."
"Unfortunate."
"So that's what that email was about."
"But here's the worst news of all. It's doing a fantastic job. Marital satisfaction is skyrocketing. Nobody is sitting around depressed until they turn to our products and services out of sheer inability to imagine a better life on their own anymore."
"A disaster!"
"Insupportable!"
"My new wife looks cute."
"There's only one thing to do. Send in the corporate special operations violence action team."
"Now I feel bad for fighting that proposal. Worse that I succeeded."
"I wish we really had one of those."
"Can we finish this conference up? I have someone I need to meet."
Finis
"Great!"
"Fantastic!"
"So what's the bad news?"
"Here's the bad news. It's taken over and is arranging marriages for everyone in the world. Participation is not optional."
"Suboptimal."
"Unfortunate."
"So that's what that email was about."
"But here's the worst news of all. It's doing a fantastic job. Marital satisfaction is skyrocketing. Nobody is sitting around depressed until they turn to our products and services out of sheer inability to imagine a better life on their own anymore."
"A disaster!"
"Insupportable!"
"My new wife looks cute."
"There's only one thing to do. Send in the corporate special operations violence action team."
"Now I feel bad for fighting that proposal. Worse that I succeeded."
"I wish we really had one of those."
"Can we finish this conference up? I have someone I need to meet."
Finis
February 11, 2023
Words to Avoid
ultramontane
quotidian
pudding
internecine
quay
sopping
quotidian
pudding
internecine
quay
sopping
A Lively Culture
People in your fantasy world probably like poetry, but you don't, so at the end of every chapter write this: "Elsewhere, people were listening to poetry." Problem solved.
February 10, 2023
Addendum
It's important to wear a comically tall hat when you're riding a horse, because if it falls off, you can ride by and pick it up without dismounting.
February 8, 2023
History Corner
The Scythians were known to wear tall hats, but little is said as to why they didn't catch on. Geographic influences, probably.
The Mysteries of Fire Emblem: Engage
How did an old Gainax character become queen of Solm? Why aren't her kids Gainax characters? Did she ever find the secret of blue water?
February 6, 2023
Fantasy News Update
Fantasy still isn't real. Updates as the situation unfolds.
February 5, 2023
As Good an Explanation As Any
One day, the cat caught the mouse but refrained from eating it or even killing it.
"Is this mercy? The world is different from what I thought and what it must be. Rather, do you eat me forthwith." That was what the mouse said. The cat resisted the injunction. "As to how the world is, I know nothing of it, but I am aware of mice and that you are the god of them. Don't think I can be fooled. If I kill you, your godhead, freed from your tiny body, can easily take possession of my superior frame. Then you will be better positioned to do good for mice. Well, I have no opinion on whether mice should fare better or worse, but it goes against my sense of aesthetics that a god should not be the thing of which it is the god."
"I hesitate to disturb your composure, but I must say that many gods violate your precept even today."
"I know it. The discomfort causes me to screech, to yowl, to scratch surfaces unaccustomed to rough treatment. My entreaties have had no result. Shall I contribute myself to what I abhor? If the winners offered a reward perhaps, but not under any other circumstance." The cat spoke thus and, no longer interested in the mouse god, removed itself from the scene.
The mouse god therefore squeezed into a hole and found a crack that led down, down to the core of the planet. It died there. Just as the cat understood, the godhead swelled and inspirited the entire planet. Getting rid of all mice has been an impossibility since then, for the world itself watches over them.
Finis
"Is this mercy? The world is different from what I thought and what it must be. Rather, do you eat me forthwith." That was what the mouse said. The cat resisted the injunction. "As to how the world is, I know nothing of it, but I am aware of mice and that you are the god of them. Don't think I can be fooled. If I kill you, your godhead, freed from your tiny body, can easily take possession of my superior frame. Then you will be better positioned to do good for mice. Well, I have no opinion on whether mice should fare better or worse, but it goes against my sense of aesthetics that a god should not be the thing of which it is the god."
"I hesitate to disturb your composure, but I must say that many gods violate your precept even today."
"I know it. The discomfort causes me to screech, to yowl, to scratch surfaces unaccustomed to rough treatment. My entreaties have had no result. Shall I contribute myself to what I abhor? If the winners offered a reward perhaps, but not under any other circumstance." The cat spoke thus and, no longer interested in the mouse god, removed itself from the scene.
The mouse god therefore squeezed into a hole and found a crack that led down, down to the core of the planet. It died there. Just as the cat understood, the godhead swelled and inspirited the entire planet. Getting rid of all mice has been an impossibility since then, for the world itself watches over them.
Finis
February 4, 2023
An Overlooked Worldbuilding Detail
In most fantasy settings, the king should be the biggest guy in the realm. According to physics.
