Andrew Moore's Blog, page 70
November 6, 2023
The Tyrant's Latest Raiment
Once, two magical tailors offered to make the dread tyrant Nikatok a suit of clothes never seen before which possessed the marvelous property that only the intelligent could discern the fine weaves. Though skeptical, the tyrant gave them a chance, funds, and severe warnings.
The tailors wove and enchanted. At last they presented the clothes to the tyrant, who went into the city to test them."You there, citizen. What do you think of my clothes?"
"Sir," the accosted man said, "it's your prerogative to walk naked if you wish of course! You're looking quite chiseled, too!"
The other common citizens said similar things. The tyrant then sought out the wise. "You there, geometrician. What do you think of my clothes?"
The man tugged his beard in dismay. "I have heard only the intelligent can see them. Today I learned I am not truly intelligent. I must redo my calculations!"
The other esteemed citizens said similar things. Well pleased, Nikatok paid the tailors far more than they had asked and praised them as the only worthy minds in the city aside from him.
Before the tailors set out, they sought out the geometrician. "Can you really not see the clothes?" they asked, puzzled and worried.
The man smiled and avoided the question.
Finis
The tailors wove and enchanted. At last they presented the clothes to the tyrant, who went into the city to test them."You there, citizen. What do you think of my clothes?"
"Sir," the accosted man said, "it's your prerogative to walk naked if you wish of course! You're looking quite chiseled, too!"
The other common citizens said similar things. The tyrant then sought out the wise. "You there, geometrician. What do you think of my clothes?"
The man tugged his beard in dismay. "I have heard only the intelligent can see them. Today I learned I am not truly intelligent. I must redo my calculations!"
The other esteemed citizens said similar things. Well pleased, Nikatok paid the tailors far more than they had asked and praised them as the only worthy minds in the city aside from him.
Before the tailors set out, they sought out the geometrician. "Can you really not see the clothes?" they asked, puzzled and worried.
The man smiled and avoided the question.
Finis
November 5, 2023
Q&A Corner
Q. Why don't more main characters have wings?
A. Cowardice.
Q. How about gills?
A. Waterworld.
Q. And antennae?
A. Antennae are failed horns.
A. Cowardice.
Q. How about gills?
A. Waterworld.
Q. And antennae?
A. Antennae are failed horns.
November 4, 2023
Addendum
And blood type, height, likes, and dislikes.
November 3, 2023
Here's What You've Been FORGETTING To Put In The Back Of Your Book!
Forget a glossary, you gotta get a movelist back there so people can follow the fights all nice and good.
November 2, 2023
November 1, 2023
Remember Your Agent Suffixes
The next time you want to put a pyromancer in your story, don't forget you can make him an infernist or a flamizer instead.
October 31, 2023
Watch Out For This Revolution
Now that we have audiobooks, fantasy and science fiction musicals based on your favorite books aren't far behind. They'll have a total of ten singers among them, so I hope you like the ones who get in on it.
October 30, 2023
Peril of the AI Ghosts
The chief engineer reported. "Our AI is better every day. We project that to continue for at least 2,500 years and no more than 5,750 years."
The board acknowledged the report and moved on to other business. The public was not so blasé when it saw the camera phone pictures of the presentation which a leaker posted. Internet analysts followed every implication to its most unreasonable but logical conclusion, and one such could not be endured.
"Better AI means worse AI ghosts!" That was the cry on message boards, imageboards, news aggregators, and livestreams. Nor did those responsible have a satisfactory answer.
"This will increase productivity."
"It's October!"
"The economy will boom."
"It's halfway over!"
"You'll see results by Christmas."
"It's Halloween soon!"
The largest Halloween demonstration of all time began, and as the vampires, witches, and horsemen holding their heads lay about with their axes in the AI development facilities, economists cried but the community-minded who bore a love for the human experience far greater and deeper than number-lust cheered.
Finis
The board acknowledged the report and moved on to other business. The public was not so blasé when it saw the camera phone pictures of the presentation which a leaker posted. Internet analysts followed every implication to its most unreasonable but logical conclusion, and one such could not be endured.
"Better AI means worse AI ghosts!" That was the cry on message boards, imageboards, news aggregators, and livestreams. Nor did those responsible have a satisfactory answer.
"This will increase productivity."
"It's October!"
"The economy will boom."
"It's halfway over!"
"You'll see results by Christmas."
"It's Halloween soon!"
The largest Halloween demonstration of all time began, and as the vampires, witches, and horsemen holding their heads lay about with their axes in the AI development facilities, economists cried but the community-minded who bore a love for the human experience far greater and deeper than number-lust cheered.
Finis
October 29, 2023
Punchline Corner
"More like suspension of kiss belief!" Take that, romance novels.
October 28, 2023
Reverse: 1999 Review
They called it that because everyone who plays it reverses 1,999 degrees and moonwalks away.
