Andrew Moore's Blog, page 137
December 21, 2021
History Corner
Did you know that most pre-industrial historians avoided talking about naval battle as much as most fantasy authors?
Sudden Realization
Hey, wait a minute! Skyrim came out a long time ago! Where's the next one? I'm starting to think development time for modern games has become so inflated as to threaten the industry because so few people now have the skill set gained from experience to guide a game from conception to release!
December 20, 2021
The Least Exciting Thing That Ever Happened to This Guy
A water-darkened day, a genuine heaven-faller, and over there? Warmth, hay, a horse perhaps? Horse rides ought to be planned beforehand, but the loving sun promised pleasure for all the day until it ran off. That sort of capricious behavior the man who shivered his way into the stable expected more from celestial beings than from neighborhood bright eyes, but he had many mistakes left to make.
The hay was there, and the warmth, but not a musty horse-warmth, but the stinging kind from man-sanctioned flames that played around and threatened to run wild but knew their place too well to extract concessions from concerned stable hands. The stable hands had no concerns at all given the horse-poorness of the scene, though human-richness made up for it.
"I suppose there is no chance of doing business, then?" The man's fishing expedition went as well as such things usually go. The stable hands all shook their heads, even popping out from stalls and around corners to make ripples all over the fishless pond, a glittering thing where it was not in shadow, a dark thing where the light was not. "When might you be expecting a horse to be returned?"
"Expecting?" One of the hands expectorated, but only he knew if that was wordplay. "We don't expect around here. No horse coming back, not for the length of your thread. Offer up a chicken or a pheasant for that. How'd you even get in here?"
"The door."
"Huh." The stable hands walked with the low steps of men with no place to be and examined the door. "Huh huh huh. You a sage? Enchanter?"
"Why, I can't say that I am, no."
"Might be now. Have a nice day."
The man left, and he never saw one of those horses, and he never learned sagecraft either, though he did conquer the world, and after he died the horses came.
Finis
The hay was there, and the warmth, but not a musty horse-warmth, but the stinging kind from man-sanctioned flames that played around and threatened to run wild but knew their place too well to extract concessions from concerned stable hands. The stable hands had no concerns at all given the horse-poorness of the scene, though human-richness made up for it.
"I suppose there is no chance of doing business, then?" The man's fishing expedition went as well as such things usually go. The stable hands all shook their heads, even popping out from stalls and around corners to make ripples all over the fishless pond, a glittering thing where it was not in shadow, a dark thing where the light was not. "When might you be expecting a horse to be returned?"
"Expecting?" One of the hands expectorated, but only he knew if that was wordplay. "We don't expect around here. No horse coming back, not for the length of your thread. Offer up a chicken or a pheasant for that. How'd you even get in here?"
"The door."
"Huh." The stable hands walked with the low steps of men with no place to be and examined the door. "Huh huh huh. You a sage? Enchanter?"
"Why, I can't say that I am, no."
"Might be now. Have a nice day."
The man left, and he never saw one of those horses, and he never learned sagecraft either, though he did conquer the world, and after he died the horses came.
Finis
December 19, 2021
Definitely Don't Think About This
Malazan? I thought this ship was headed for Bonazan!
December 17, 2021
Don't Think About This Though
Why do they call them the Forsaken when there are more than four of them???????
December 16, 2021
Food for Thought
We all know fantasy can be used to explore ideas unthinkable in the real world and train our intellects to recognize unnatural concepts. But which ones? Try these on for size.
Magic is real, but in a fun way.
Magic is real, but in an unfun way.
People read more than the first of words of anything.
The bones of dead people are a threat for some reason.
Nobles are no better than commoners.
I mean, they managed to die when they still had muscles and brains. What are they going to do now?
Children can be useful.
All these and more are possible. Don't be afraid to dream!
Magic is real, but in a fun way.
Magic is real, but in an unfun way.
People read more than the first of words of anything.
The bones of dead people are a threat for some reason.
Nobles are no better than commoners.
I mean, they managed to die when they still had muscles and brains. What are they going to do now?
Children can be useful.
All these and more are possible. Don't be afraid to dream!
December 15, 2021
Phrases That Sound Like They Mean Something But Don't
Good pacing
Shades of gray
Character work
A song of ice and fire
Shades of gray
Character work
A song of ice and fire
December 14, 2021
What Is This Exciting New Genre Known As "Sophistifantasy?"
The orc is wearing a nice jacket.
December 13, 2021
Some Notes on Mecha Knights: Nightmare
Terrible title. They aren't even knights.
Word on the street is that common practice is to put the levels developed later first, because the developers improve as they go. It feels as if that did not happen here. The levels become more interesting and intricate starting around the halfway point.
Story: None. Dialogue: Ahahahahaha!
I didn't use every weapon type, shameful as it is to admit, but at the very least none of them that I tried seemed ideal for every mission. Hurray! The normal rifles seemed strictly worse than the plasma versions unless I missed something, which there is a good chance I did.
More color would have been nice in the environments and enemies. You can paint your mech though, which helps.
You sure do kill a lot of stuff. The weapons feel powerful, even if the healthbars don't always agree.
Overall, it's pretty good. I give it my mechiest rating: 4/Answer.
Word on the street is that common practice is to put the levels developed later first, because the developers improve as they go. It feels as if that did not happen here. The levels become more interesting and intricate starting around the halfway point.
Story: None. Dialogue: Ahahahahaha!
I didn't use every weapon type, shameful as it is to admit, but at the very least none of them that I tried seemed ideal for every mission. Hurray! The normal rifles seemed strictly worse than the plasma versions unless I missed something, which there is a good chance I did.
More color would have been nice in the environments and enemies. You can paint your mech though, which helps.
You sure do kill a lot of stuff. The weapons feel powerful, even if the healthbars don't always agree.
Overall, it's pretty good. I give it my mechiest rating: 4/Answer.
A Solicitous Nature
"A concern has grown in our mind."
The councilors yielded all their attention to their master and listened to his concern. "Our audiences, where we invite our subjects to petition us directly, ought to go differently from how they do, we believe. It seems as if our people are too intimidated to speak properly. Sometimes we see them kneel and leave without even bringing up their case. How shall we rectify this?"
The councilors conferred and suggested this, that the king order built a spire so that his subjects could approach without meeting his eyes or being looked on by all the court.
"Our subjects no longer turn white and skulk away, and the breeze on our balcony is refreshing. However, it seems difficult for us to hear our subjects, and they us. What is to be done?"
The councilors conferred and suggested this, that the inventors of wondrous things might fashion a device to carry speech on the ground up to the spire allow the king to speak in a voice audible to all.
"How pleasing it is to hear our subjects and speak to them! Our kingdom prospers. One improvement has yet to be made to perfect our government. The power of our voice reassures but seems also to frighten our people. What is to be done?"
The councilors conferred and agreed that the inventors could certainly arrange to have their master's visage spread over the sky to ensure his subjects could see his lack of displeasure.
"Hey, did you hear that the king of Maringia built a huge tower because he didn't want anybody to look him in the eye and plays at being a god?"
"What a terrible man! How do they stand it?"
Finis
The councilors yielded all their attention to their master and listened to his concern. "Our audiences, where we invite our subjects to petition us directly, ought to go differently from how they do, we believe. It seems as if our people are too intimidated to speak properly. Sometimes we see them kneel and leave without even bringing up their case. How shall we rectify this?"
The councilors conferred and suggested this, that the king order built a spire so that his subjects could approach without meeting his eyes or being looked on by all the court.
"Our subjects no longer turn white and skulk away, and the breeze on our balcony is refreshing. However, it seems difficult for us to hear our subjects, and they us. What is to be done?"
The councilors conferred and suggested this, that the inventors of wondrous things might fashion a device to carry speech on the ground up to the spire allow the king to speak in a voice audible to all.
"How pleasing it is to hear our subjects and speak to them! Our kingdom prospers. One improvement has yet to be made to perfect our government. The power of our voice reassures but seems also to frighten our people. What is to be done?"
The councilors conferred and agreed that the inventors could certainly arrange to have their master's visage spread over the sky to ensure his subjects could see his lack of displeasure.
"Hey, did you hear that the king of Maringia built a huge tower because he didn't want anybody to look him in the eye and plays at being a god?"
"What a terrible man! How do they stand it?"
Finis
