Andrew Moore's Blog, page 138

Crossover of the Millennium

Can't tell who the Dragon is? It's easy, because the Dragon never sleeps.

Non-Multi-Million Idea

Wheel of Thyme, a channel/stream dedicated to reproducing Wheel of Time recipes. That series didn't exactly have a Redwall-like focus on food, but its name is so much more flexible.

Multi-Million Idea

The kids version of Wheel of Time: Wheel of Slime! Do kids still like slime? I have to presume they do.

The Slow Pace of Modern Society

I need more adaptations of existing properties of which to watch the first couple minutes! Hurry it up! $8 million per episode at least, please.

Addendum

Less sassy than their owners that is, not than the town guard or the stuffy noble who's about to get the starch taken out of those ruffles. Shouldn't be starching his ruffles anyway. What's this clown think he's doing?

Reason Corner

Thinking about it, shouldn't animal companions and magical weapons be less sassy on average? They don't need to accrue social status at the expense of their peers.

A Premature Inheritance

One day the king called his three sons to the hall where he did justice and accepted what was due him. They arrived all three on the same day, and the courtiers marveled to see their strength and courageous bearing, while the captains admired their eloquence and manners. Elbert came first, the oldest, who had conquered the Velucanni and subjected them to the will of his father. Next entered Elward who had overcome the Baromanni in five battles. They paid tribute after that, though they had never done so before. Third arrived Elhardt, late to leave his own home in which he had settled the daughter of the Wegemanni chief after defeating him in single combat.
"My sons, I am not a king who sees nothing but his court and his treasury. That each of you is now a man capable of ruling a country, is not a matter of ignorance to me. On the contrary, it is my wish and intention to see you all holding the rod, wearing the ring, and doing justice before I die."
It had long been clear that the kingdom's borders had extended so that no one man could govern the territory within. It had long been clear as well that the king was someone who distributed honors and wealth without stint but never an inch of land. The result of the contest between those irreconcilable facts at last became known. Smiles, frowns, and coins were passed around the court.
The king continued. "To Elbert, I grant the county of Preus, where the fruit tastes best out of anywhere in my kingdom but kills you if you eat it. To Elward, I grant the county of Oivre, where the mines produce endless iron and gold that have the special quality of melting in the rain. To Elhardt, I grant the county of Swessen, famous for its beautiful spring that makes you smell worse if you bathe in it."
And that was how the revolt began.
Finis

Analysis of Poetry

Don't bother. Song lyrics are what the kids like. Here's a sample to get you started:

How come my baby loves Santa
More than me?
I notice every year
Around the tree.

Analysis of Prose

Example 1: He saw ruin all about him.
Acceptable.
Example 2: He saw wrack all about him.
Acceptable.
Example 3: He saw wrack and ruin all about him.
Cut that out.

Classic Fantasy Spotlight

"Metamorphoses" or "The Golden Ass" by Apuleius is a fully extant novel from the first century that is absolutely fantasy, and I do mean fantasy, if you know what I mean, you degenerate.