Andrew Moore's Blog, page 121
June 1, 2022
History Corner
Did you know . . . that Charlemagne's thing wasn't the Holy Roman Empire? That came later. Also, Charlemagne is a dumb name to call him, but I guess we're stuck with it.
Addendum
And then you add in container shipping and the whole thing becomes unsalvageable. Which is a big problem with container shipping. You're gonna want to salvage those containers.
May 30, 2022
Words That Are No Good
Contumely and contumacious. Who can remember which is which? Brainiac? Encyclopedia Brown? Not a normal Joe al'Shmoe, that's for sure.
Megacorporations Are Much Dumber Than Regular Corporations
"You don't mean . . ."
"That's right, Mr. Klarwood. You, too, are a fauxloid."
"That can't be true!" Klarwood shook his head in disbelief. "No, really. That doesn't make any sense. What's the point of making a custom fauxloid, which I have to think is pretty expensive . . ." The man nodded. "An expensive fauxloid and programming it to hunt other fauxloids, but also programming it to think it's a human so it won't even know to use its superior physical fauxloid capabilities? I had to take five days off last month because I had the flu. You implanted false memories of getting sick once in a state-of-the-art fauxloid? Why? To be a twist?"
"To be a twist, Mr. Klarwood."
"I hope your shareholders have the same love of the dramatic as you. You've got a fiduciary responsibility, right? Speaking of finance and production, last I heard, fauxloaids were back-ordered for seven months. Who bought me, anyway? Did he pay extra? Jump the queue? By the way, it's illegal to let fauxloids set foot on Earth. I don't remember seeing anything in the law code about 'unless it spurs people to make video essays about who is and isn't a fauxloid,' but I admit my memory isn't that great. Fauxloids have photographic memories, of course."
"Of course. Or rather, they think they do."
"Right, right, they were given false memories of having good memories. For some reason. You wouldn't want them to think they're inferior to humans in any way. They might give up on their nonstop rebellions. What good are fauxloids? I've never rebelled, by the way. They cost more than my salary, they shut down just as they start getting good at their jobs, they're mad all the time . . . Pretty useless, really."
"Thoroughly useless, Mr. Klarwood. It is unfortunate that you discovered it."
"Well, it is my job to discover things. And I'm good at it too, unlike fauxloids, even though I am one, which you still haven't explained."
"I never will, Mr. Klarwood. Or rather, I cannot."
Finis
"That's right, Mr. Klarwood. You, too, are a fauxloid."
"That can't be true!" Klarwood shook his head in disbelief. "No, really. That doesn't make any sense. What's the point of making a custom fauxloid, which I have to think is pretty expensive . . ." The man nodded. "An expensive fauxloid and programming it to hunt other fauxloids, but also programming it to think it's a human so it won't even know to use its superior physical fauxloid capabilities? I had to take five days off last month because I had the flu. You implanted false memories of getting sick once in a state-of-the-art fauxloid? Why? To be a twist?"
"To be a twist, Mr. Klarwood."
"I hope your shareholders have the same love of the dramatic as you. You've got a fiduciary responsibility, right? Speaking of finance and production, last I heard, fauxloaids were back-ordered for seven months. Who bought me, anyway? Did he pay extra? Jump the queue? By the way, it's illegal to let fauxloids set foot on Earth. I don't remember seeing anything in the law code about 'unless it spurs people to make video essays about who is and isn't a fauxloid,' but I admit my memory isn't that great. Fauxloids have photographic memories, of course."
"Of course. Or rather, they think they do."
"Right, right, they were given false memories of having good memories. For some reason. You wouldn't want them to think they're inferior to humans in any way. They might give up on their nonstop rebellions. What good are fauxloids? I've never rebelled, by the way. They cost more than my salary, they shut down just as they start getting good at their jobs, they're mad all the time . . . Pretty useless, really."
"Thoroughly useless, Mr. Klarwood. It is unfortunate that you discovered it."
"Well, it is my job to discover things. And I'm good at it too, unlike fauxloids, even though I am one, which you still haven't explained."
"I never will, Mr. Klarwood. Or rather, I cannot."
Finis
May 29, 2022
Setting Hard Limits on Power
Q. Does sand magic work on dust or pebbles?
A. For legal reasons, no.
A. For legal reasons, no.
May 27, 2022
The New Star Wars Series
It's about an Imperial admiral who analyzes the strategic approaches of his enemies by listening to them type. How does he get typing samples? A thrilling espionage story begins!
The Power of Perspective
When other people type, it sounds as if they're faking it. When I type, I don't even know what it sounds like.
May 25, 2022
Addendum
A few people, however, should insist that other city stinks and that home city is much better.
May 24, 2022
Scene Dressing
The easiest way to make your world feel real is for everyone to think some other city is way cooler. We will call this the Paris Method.
Breaking News
They just kicked Mercedes Lackey out of the country. And that was before they read her books!
