Lucidity Lamb's Blog, page 4
March 27, 2023
Too Early to be Late, a poem about success
It’s too early to get up
but there’s so much to do.
Can’t keep going like this but he
Has to.
All about the money and
These nice things he has.
Maybe he’ll try to lower
His class.
Tired of decisions about
Everything from clothes to food.
It’d be great if they’d tell him what
To do.
But that’s no good either.
Hates bosses, hates wives.
Says he wants to be his own man.
He lies.
Ten years old, he dreamt big.
Wanted pirate gold.
Now he just wants to be
Left alone.
No driving a firetruck
No flying to Mars.
He’s just a salesman, hocking
Used cars.
But something inside him
Demands a change.
Something that’s rising with
His age.
Could he get by with less if he
Could find a way?
What does he really need to be
Okay?
He sells the house and the car
In an impassioned rush.
He quits his job and buys a furnished
Used bus.
He drives a while and finds
Easy money, easy jobs.
He makes ends meet for him and
his dog.
He’s feeling good and moral
And calm these days.
But he admits he misses his high-
Class ways.
He’d give his left foot for a
Decent cut of steak.
And he starts to wish he had a spouse
Some days.
Just someone to share a
Little domestic chat.
That goes deeper than asking “Where’s your
“Home at?”
So he’s checking the want ads and
Browsing real estate rags.
A job might be boring but its something
To have.
He feels intangible now like
He might drift off and away.
So he’s planting some roots, finding
A place.
The bus’ll sell easy- There’s always
Someone like him with a dream.
Who doesn’t know yet what it means to
Succeed.
March 5, 2023
Leave the Burning to the Fire.
If you could burn anything – any idea, object, word, insect – Anything – what would you burn?
Photo by Lucidity LambI think I would burn procrastination. It is the bane of my existence. Mosquitos could go, but they do feed the spiders that feed the birds, etc. Maybe global warming, but that is a result, not a thing…World hunger is kind of a given but it’s so complex an issue I’m not sure it would work.
The fact is, every issue is complex, isn’t it? And every bad thing allows good to prove itself, or at least to show itself in comparison.
You can’t just burn things.
Whatever it is you want to burn, is there another way to deal with it?
I mean, I am procrastinating right now. I could do this later, after I get some work done, but I don’t want to work. So I procrastinate.
Would I really do this later though? I only seem to come up with posts when I’m supposed to be doing something else.
I guess even procrastinating has its use.
Oh well, fire is pretty anyway. Sometimes you just need to let it burn for it’s own sake. Because it turns out, just about everything has a use, even fire.
Fire is good at keeping us warm cooking food, clearing debris to give room for new life, helping us mold metal and cook clay.
Why do we consider it a destructive force when it’s so good at creating things?
Perhaps the concept we need to burn is that burning concepts is going to get us anywhere. Things don’t just go away. They can’t. We either learn to accept them, or we learn to fix them if we have the power and the right.
Leave the burning to the fire.
February 25, 2023
Before I Stride, a poem of the in-between
by Lucidity Lamb
Between two posts, there stands a gate.
Within it’s shadow, I stand and wait.
Beyond, there shines a vibrant sun,
Out of sight of this begotten son.
–
Who am I now, before I stride?
Who was I when I was alive?
What choices made, brought me here?
What sins denied? How many tears?
–
Before I step forth, be welcomed home,
I wonder if I’d rather be alone.
I wonder if heaven is worth the cost
Of all the life and joys I must of lost.
February 7, 2023
The Hidden Heart, a poem
And she rides the feather with her eyes,
Escaping the ground in her mind,
Fleeing the sound of her own voice,
Repeating empty, boring lies.
And she sighs as Veronica passes by,
Her scent, her shape, her smile,
Pretending friendship will satisfy,
Aching with unrequited desires.
And she locks the door to her room.
Alone is better than consumed.
This world is eating her alive.
She cuddles her blanket and cries.
by Lucidity Lamb
I love you. Yes, I mean you.Love is a wonderful, miraculous thing – it is expansive and infinite but can feel so delicate at times. But there will never be a shortage of love unless we stop sharing it. Love begets love, emboldens love, embraces love.
Love inspires us and those around us. It need not be stated or expressed physically to exist. It is color and scent and home. It is where you are, when you are, who you are.
If I let it take me, love is all I feel. I am overwhelmed by it. Exhausted by it and enlivened by it. I don’t need to understand it. I am love. And when all else is in question, even when I am at my lowest, there is no hate in my heart. It cannot fit.
November 8, 2022
A New Chapter of Your Life
Your life is a book. It’s your story. You write it every day.
Did you know that? Have you taken control of the author or narrator’s role to move your own character through their story arch?
Sometimes I forget that the things I do are the result of my own decisions. Sometimes I get angry or bored or frustrated with my life.
We all are responsible for checking into our story once in a while. How is it going? Are you following your outline? Have you made an outline at all? Or are you going with the flow – that too is a method of story creation. Going with the flow is a decision you made.
The biggest show of your personal power is in making the decision to let someone else take the reins of your story. Many people do this when they get married. They decide to follow their spouse or to do things that make their spouse happy. They decide to put off their own adventures for the benefit of the family unit, for example.
I stayed 8 years in a job I planned to have for 3. I forgot to make a new decision. Because of that, my story was controlled by others. I forgot I was the author.
I took my story back.
It was time for a new chapter. I increased my education, got a different job, and found a good spouse to share my life with.
Then, I took a break. I left my life on autopilot for a few years. Then I made a new decision. I traveled, I changed jobs again, I wrote poetry books and published them.
I get restless, then I get tired. So the plot of my story ebbs and flows. But I try to remember that I am the main character.
You are the main character in your story.
Sometimes, I feel trapped in the plot I’ve set for myself. “She was born into a family with troubles, raised herself from beneath their humbling words, grew into an intelligent, purposeful woman who learned to speak her mind. She grew older and began teaching others how they, too, had the power to take control of their lives.” It’s a good, basic plot.
I didn’t include a year of traveling the plains of Africa or learning to sail a boat or skydiving or learning how to build a car or mastering a chocolate soufflé. But perhaps that will all be in the rewrite. A chapter can always be added in somewhere. For now, those things have not happened and are not really planned.
But when I lived in “Chapter 1, The Shy Child”, I didn’t know I would one day learn I had issues like Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which would limit me in some ways. I didn’t know my high school friends would abandon me when I needed them most.
“Chapter 2, Smarter Than They Knew” was about me getting into college, and getting better grades than my father expected of me. It was followed quickly by “Chapter 3, Recovering From Rape” and “Chapter 4, Learning to Be Sober”.
By now, I’m pretty far into my book. Maybe we’ll call it, “Chapter 19, Midlife Crisis”. I don’t know what I’m doing. But I know I was in a chapter yesterday that I didn’t want to be in. So what can I do? Turn the page, pick up a pen, and start writing Chapter 20.
What is this chapter about? Is it about quitting the corporate world, selling my house, and wandering the world like Kung Fu? Is it about moving up the corporate ladder, making bank, and planning to retire early? Is it about traveling, or gardening, or opening a pet store?
I’ve had a lot of interesting chapters.
There was one about living in Arizona, and one about living in Vermont. There was one about an abusive husband that ended with me moving back in with my mom. There was even a chapter of kinky stuff, because every good story has some action!
But this chapter… what should it be? Right now, I think I’m in “The Unnumbered Chapter, The Search for a Plot.”
What about you? Are you in the begining of a new chapter, or at the end of one? Do you know what your next chapter will be about?
I once had a professor that made us write our own obituaries. It’s a good practice. I had forgotten about it until just now, actually. What do you want your obituary to say? Stand up at your imaginary funeral and say a few words about what you will have accomplished. What will your legacy be?
“She traveled. She learned something new every few years. She helped people. She …”
There are some things that I would like to have in there that no longer fit in my plotline. I wanted to me a limnologist – a person who studies still water, like ponds. I could do it now, if I wanted to. But … I don’t know that I am willing to get a whole new lab science masters degree. It’d be like suddenly deciding to become a doctor. Do I have that in me with my current brain and energy levels?
I wanted to be an investigative reporter, too. But frankly, I no longer have the drive. I’m not old, but I’m not young anymore either – and that is ok. I made choices about chapters 8-13 and I cant go back in time and change them. That part of my story is written. So what decisions are reasonable now?
What are you thinking about now? What choices are in front of you?
What will your next chapter be called?
October 11, 2022
Dancing with Your Future Self
Ghosts and vampires,Picnic table ants,Memories both good and bad.Scary monsters,Sexy witch or nurse,Dressing for lives we never had.Halloween candy’sLong gone by ten.Wear your costume anyway.No one’s watching,But your future selves.Be your own fun today!
September 24, 2022
History of Me
I took some pictures. Things I’ve seen a thousand times or more. If home is where my memories live, these are the things that the walls are made of.
September 13, 2022
Fences of Freedom
Lucidity Lamb Photography Friends, I have been rather stressed lately and dealing with some increased depression. But I went for a drive a few days ago and took some pictures looking out the window.
It’s amazing how beautiful the world is, even if you can’t see it at first. I’ve been looking at these pictures today and realizing how gorgeous they are. But I noticed they all have fences in them.
Lucidity Lamb PhotographySo much of our world has fences in it. So much of our lives have fences in them, too. Do we put the fenses there ourselves? Does someone else put them there?
Should we stay on one side of the fence, or the other? Are fences there so that we know know how far we’ve come, how far we have left to go, or are they not marking anything? Are they just there with no rhyme or reason. Barring our way forward or restricting our return?
Lucidity Lamb PhotographyThese fences are not solid. These fences can be jumped or even destroyed.
What about our own fences? Are they so easy to dismantle, move, and rebuild? Should the whole world be free of fences?
Do the fences let us know where our world is? Are they the seams that tell us when we’re moving from one portion to the next, even though it’s all the same field? Are they protecting us? Are they even really there?
Lucidity Lamb PhotographyI don’t have any answers. Just thoughts.
Maybe more fences would be better if it helps me teach my thoughts to stay where I put them.
Lucidity Lamb Photography
Lucidity Lamb Photography
September 1, 2022
Pretty Purple Pause
This pretty purple pause brought to you by the people who work too hard, too long, for too little.
Always remember that there is more to life than what you have planned, or even imagined.
August 7, 2022
All That I Might, a poem
Morning comesAnd here I lie to myself,
About my day.
I'll get things done,
I have a plan to achieve,
What i may.
But I'm pretty clear,
With honesty, I wont do
All that i plan.
Ill end my day,
Regretting that I had not
Taken command.
Perhaps i will
Pretend to go back in time
And do it right.
Start again
Right now, here. Get up. Achieve
All that I might.
