Timothy Ferriss's Blog, page 53

Richard Turner — The Magical Phenom Who Will Blow Your Mind (#411)

“Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.”
— Richard Turner

I am very, very excited to introduce this interview, as I’ve been wanting to meet today’s guest, Richard Turner, for almost two years now. I first came across Richard Turner (richardturner52.com, youtube.com/richardturner52) in the documentary Dealt, directed by Luke Korem.

I can’t remember the last time I finished a documentary, only to want to watch it again immediately afterward. I also can’t remember a doc that made me as emotional as Dealt did, pushing me from laughter to tears. It has 95 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and won the 2017 Documentary Feature Audience Choice Award at the South by Southwest Film Festival. Everyone should watch it.

But let’s get to my guest. Who is Richard Turner?

Richard is regarded as the best card mechanic and among the best up-close magicians in the world. He has entertained millions of people, including notables like Johnny Carson, Bob Hope, Secretary of State Colin Powell, actor Brad Pitt, sports legend Muhammad Ali, and many more.

Richard has received many accolades, including the 2015 Close-up Magician of the Year Award, the magic industry’s equivalent of the Oscar.

His skill with a deck of cards has been featured on television shows around the world, including a performance on Penn & Teller: Fool Us, in which Penn Jillette admitted, “Richard Turner is one of the finest sleight-of-hand artists who has ever lived. He fooled us with every single move he did!”

Richard is also a sixth-degree karate black belt, and we get into all that on the podcast.

Note: Toward the end of the interview, you will hear Richard performing card tricks. He did them in front of me, and he absolutely blew my mind. I highly recommend checking out the interview on YouTube, as I made sure to have video from multiple angles for this episode. Just go to youtube.com/timferriss. Not to sound like a mullet-wearing Long Island boy (which I’ve been), but this footage is simply fucking amazing.

Oh, and did I mention that Richard is completely blind? That’s right. You’re in for a ride, my friends.

Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube. 

Listen onApple Podcasts
Listen onSpotify
Listen onOvercast

#411: Richard Turner — The Magical Phenom Who Will Blow Your Mind
https://rss.art19.com/episodes/62269ad7-892f-40da-baec-57213d62d370.mp3Download

This episode is brought to you by Nulo. Our pets bring out the best in us and are you doing your part to bring out the best in them? Nulo is an independently owned pet food company based in Austin that delivers the very best pet nutrition with high-meat, low-carb recipes for dogs and cats. In fact, it’s what I feed Molly, my own best friend. When I switched Molly over to Nulo a couple of years ago, it not only made an immediate difference in the way she looks — her coat is softer and shinier than ever before — but in how she behaves.

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This episode is also brought to you by Inktel. Ever since I wrote The 4-Hour Workweek, I’ve been frequently asked about how I choose to delegate tasks. At the root of many of my decisions is a simple question: “How can I invest money to improve my quality of life?” Or “how can I spend moderate money to save significant time?” Inktel is one of those investments. They are a turnkey solution for all of your customer care needs. Their team answers more than 1 million customer service requests each year. They can also interact with your customers across all platforms, including email, phone, social media, text, and chat.

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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

SCROLL BELOW FOR LINKS AND SHOW NOTES…

Want to hear another episode with someone who lives without limits? — Listen to my conversation with Nicholas McCarthy. In this episode, we discuss how to overcome limitations, proving doubters wrong, how to manage ego, and much more. (Stream below or right-click here to download):

#174: The One-Handed Concert Pianist, Nicholas McCarthyhttps://rss.art19.com/episodes/eac4b8ce-5f08-49c8-9765-5b82acb2ecf8.mp3Download

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Richard Turner:

Website | APB Speaker Agency | YouTube | Facebook

Dealt
The Magic Castle
Grand Ole Opry
The Trick That Fooled Houdini — Revealed by Oscar Owen, YouTube
Main Types of Magic Performance, The Abracadabra
The Expert at the Card Table: The Classic Treatise on Card Manipulation by S.W. Erdnase
The Towering Inferno
Earthquake
Angels & Demons
Circus of the Stars, IMDb
Wonder Woman
Luca Brasi’s Demise, The Godfather
Secret Peeking Technique Card Trick Tutorial, 52Kards
Mechanic’s Grip, Monty’s Magic
Side Kick 101: Everything You Need to Know about a Side Kick, Law of the Fist
This Morning Interview with Richard Turner, CBS
Scarlet Fever: All You Need to Know, CDC
Lord of the Flies (1963 Film)
Lost in Space
Ben-Hur
Kato Fight Scene, The Green Hornet
Maverick
Richard Turner’s Strength Measurement, 4th Degree Black Belt
Charles Bonnet Syndrome, NHS
Hallucinations by Oliver Sacks
The Mind’s Eye by Oliver Sacks
What Freudian Slips Really Reveal about Your Mind, BBC Future
Difference Between Eidetic Memory And Photographic Memory, BetterHelp
Campho-Phenique
Naranca Elementary
San Diego State University
Genesis 1:27, The Bible
Kung Fu
Statue of Liberty
Fantastic Voyage
PCP (Angel Dust), Drugs.com
Wells Park
Mr. Magoo
What is Wado Kai Karate? Shintani Wado Kai Karate
Shodokan Aikido Federation
A History and Style Guide of Tae Kwon Do, LiveAbout
Brewer’s Yeast
What is the Purpose of Kata in Karate? The Karate Lifestyle
What Is Considered Legally Blind? Healthline
Enter the Dragon
Fist of Fury
Gonorrhea Symptoms and Causes, The Mayo Clinic
Quadriceps Extension, How Stuff Works
What Is a Neurostimulator? Medtronic
How To Play Texas Hold’em Poker: Official Rules, PokerNews
Seven-Card Stud Poker Rules, PokerNews
US Playing Card Company, Wikipedia
Cartamundi
Bicycle Cards
Richard Turner Thoroughly Astonishes Penn & Teller, Fool US
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Eye-Popping Oddities, 2015
Richard’s Thumb Surgery (Warning: Graphic!): Short Version | Long Version
Lamb’s Players Theatre

SHOW NOTES

What is The Magic Castle? [07:37]
Who was Dai Vernon, “the man who fooled Houdini,” and how did Richard get to know him? [09:10]
How a broke Richard finagled a free suit for his first meeting with Dai at The Magic Castle in 1975. [12:24]
“Won’t get the money.” Sleight-of-hand smack-talk by the bust-out man who once assisted in sending Luca Brasi to sleep with the fishes. [15:16]
Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. [20:12]
Discipline breeds discipline. [23:43]
You think you’re disciplined? Richard hasn’t missed a workout in 49 years — and even used to travel with a weight-filled briefcase in the days when gyms were a scarcity. Why is physical cultivation so important to him? [24:48]
Richard shares his experience with Charles Bonnet Syndrome and the unique way in which he sees and interacts with the world. [32:26]
Has Richard always had an eidetic memory, or did it come after he started losing his sight? [42:30]
What were the immediate changes Richard and his sister Lori endured when they began to lose their sight, and how did this contribute to an admitted streak of rebellion? [44:04]
Why does Richard still have a sculpture he made during this time, why doesn’t he have his piece of art that won first prize in a statewide competition, and why did he later go on to sabotage his own work? [46:15]
How did Richard relate to anger early in life, and what helped him escape from a spiral of self-destruction? [49:12]
What compelled Richard to take up martial arts on February 13th, 1971, and how did he fare as an absolute beginner? [55:09]
How to make Richard’s specialty fitness drink: Liquid Hell. [1:01:06]
Richard talks about bodybuilding, working out with Mr. Universe, refusal to accept an honorary black belt, and fighting 10 rounds in a sweltering Tijuana sweatbox against rulebreaking opponents he could only see in his peripheral vision. [1:02:23]
What did Richard’s insane training workout to prepare for his black belt trial look like? [1:10:02]
How Richard learned to reduce fear and control his asthma attacks, what he does to create strength by channeling his Charles Bonnet Syndrome like a superpower, and how he taught his wife to make use of his visualization technique. [1:12:40]
A demonstration of Richard’s superpower vs. yours truly. [1:17:20]
How Richard has harnessed his CBS to train with cards over lengthy periods of intense focus others might find exhausting. [1:18:55]
How Richard learned and expanded on Dai Vernon’s concepts — and pulled off the seemingly impossible — over the course of 17 years. [1:20:39]
Richard fought 10 fresh fighters in 10 rounds for his black belt (in spite of earning a broken arm in the seventh round), but it was the L.A. Times headline about the fight that bruised him the most. [1:23:28]
What is dreaming like for Richard, and how does something like medication affect his waking visualizations? [1:25:58]
What are Richard’s favorite colors, and did he have them before losing his sight, or did he develop them afterward?
[1:28:39]
How does Richard experience wind? What happens when he goes underwater? [1:29:56]
As someone who doesn’t necessarily find relaxation relaxing, what activities do recharge Richard’s batteries? [1:31:50]
Ever played poker in a casino and wondered if you were getting conned? I can barely shuffle, so what can Richard show me with an available table and some cards? Let’s find out. [1:35:53]
What were Dai Vernon’s thoughts about the feat Richard just demonstrated for us? [1:43:06]
Richard’s the one who has the ability to analyze when the manufacturing process results in cards of substandard quality and call them out. In the end, it results in a stronger product that benefits the company as well as the consumer. [1:44:37]
What would Richard’s billboard say? [1:48:45]
Richard is a certified oddball who works out with a crushed thumb and then shuffles cards with his one good hand as an anesthetic while his other hand is being operated upon — believe it or not. [1:49:36]
Richard shares what happened when he got the chance to fool Penn & Teller almost a year to the day after his thumb mishap. [1:54:54]
“That’ll get the money.” A former antagonist becomes a very dear friend. [1:57:56]
Parting thoughts. [2:02:21]

PEOPLE MENTIONED


Johnny Carson
Bob Hope
Colin Powell
Brad Pitt
Muhammad Ali
Penn Jillette
Dai Vernon
Harry Houdini
Kim Turner
S.W. Erdnase
Allen Kennedy
Charlie Miller
Bob Yerkes
Elizabeth Taylor
Tom Hanks
Lynda Carter
Tony Giorgio
Bruno Tattaglia
Vito Corleone
Benjamin Franklin
David Rubin
Lori Turner

Billy Mumy
Will Robinson
Dr. Smith
Tarzan
Charlton Heston
Bruce Lee
Kato
James Garner
Charles Bonnet
Oliver Sacks
Sigmund Freud
Jim Turner
Gautama Buddha

Mr. Magoo
Jim Backus
Chuck Norris
Gene Fisher
Popeye
Olive Oyl

Doug Brignole
Arnold Schwarzenegger


Asa Spades Turner
Teller

Jack Palance



Michael Close
Alyson Hannigan

Some Thoughts on Coronaviruses and Seatbelts

“Hope is not a strategy.“

— James Cameron

A prescient article titled “Body Count” by Epsilon Theory/Ben Hunt (@epsilontheory) was recently sent to me by one of my smartest and most connected friends. 

It paints a spooky picture of the Chinese reports of what has been informally referred to as “Wuhan coronavirus.” Per the WHO this week, the official virus name is SARS-CoV-2, and the disease it causes is COVID-19, much like HIV causes AIDS. Here is one portion from this essay (edited for length), and I suggest reading the entire piece:

From a narrative perspective, China is fighting this war against nCov2019 exactly like the US fought its war against North Vietnam. … They convince themselves that the people can’t handle the truth, particularly if the truth ain’t such good news. They convince themselves that they can buy enough time to win the real-world war by designing and employing a carefully constructed “communication strategy” to win the narrative-world war. That strategy proved to be a social and political disaster for the United States, as the cartoon tail (gotta get more NV casualties for Cronkite to report) ended up wagging the policy dog (send out more counterproductive search-and-destroy missions). I think exactly the same thing is happening in China. And I think the social and political repercussions will be exactly as disastrous.

Read the whole article here.

Next, here’s some personal background that might be relevant: during previous international scares involving avian flu, Ebola, SARS, etc., I did not panic nor move into a bunker. Once I felt I understood the data related to each, I more or less went about my life as usual.

I am not panicking this time, either. That said, I am curtailing unnecessary travel and group interactions for the next 2–3 weeks to see how things shake out, particularly given the asymptomatic “incubation period” of up to 14 days. 

Might that be an overreaction? Might I be misinformed? Totally. But then again, how many head-on car accidents have I had? Zero. I nonetheless put on my seatbelt every time that I drive, and we have great data on traffic fatalities. Do you have a fire extinguisher in your kitchen? Would you accept $100 to get rid of it? $1,000? I wouldn’t. As unlikely as a kitchen fire may be, the extreme known consequences of an out-of-control fire easily justify a fire extinguisher, even if it gathers dust forever. It’s cheap disaster insurance, just like having emergency stores of water in the garage.

Even though some folks think of me as a “risk-taker,” I self-identify much more as a “risk-mitigator.” Whether in the context of my nearly 100+ startup investments, scientific research I support, or otherwise, I think about risk a whole lot. This includes misperception of risk, cognitive biases, and so on. I also have excellent access to reputable experts.

I dislike the unknowns of SARS-CoV-2/COVID-19, no treatment has yet proven effective, and—like putting on a seatbelt—it’s easy for me to mitigate a lot of downside risk until more data paint a clearer picture. Videos like this (hat tip to Naval Ravikant) lead me to think that metaphorically wearing an eight-point harness for 2–3 weeks isn’t the worst idea. As of Feb 13, 2020, the comparisons I’ve seen to influenza aren’t totally compelling for at least one of the following reasons: 1) the numbers cited are often simply incorrect, 2) they assume we have equally longitudinal/reliable data for both, 3) they assume recovery and treatment are equally known for both. From The New York Times today:

There remains deep uncertainty about the new coronavirus’ mortality rate, with the high-end estimate that it is up to 20 times that of the flu, but some estimates go as low as 0.16 percent for those affected outside of China’s overwhelmed Hubei province. About on par with the flu.

We simply do not know at this point, and “knowing” is often a spectrum of probabilities based on data.

This post is not intended to spread panic; it’s intended to look at risk-assessment and decision-making when you are making a 100-mile journey into terra incognita and can only see 10 feet in front of you with a flashlight. In cases like this, I find it better to prepare and not need, than to need and not have prepared… especially when some precautions are so simple and so cheap.

I am constantly looking for such “seatbelts” in many areas of my life. Dead-simple ways to cap some or all of the downside risk.

If COVID-19 turns out to be a false alarm, or if it doesn’t turn into a full-blown catastrophe in the US, many people who ignored the news and didn’t change their routines will no doubt say, “I told you so.”

But let’s remember: I don’t have a strong opinion about what COVID-19 is or isn’t. That’s the whole point.

I’m not saying COVID-19 is a disaster, and I’m not saying it’s trivial. We don’t have enough information right now to conclude either.

I’ve also been called an “alarmist” by a few folks this week.

But am I?

Am I an alarmist for wearing a seatbelt? For having fire extinguishers? Few would say so. And those are games of near-complete information. Common influenza would also fall close by.

If those are similar to chess, our current situation is more like backgammon. Plenty of moves are still up to Lady Fortune (actual lethality profile, successful containment, etc.).

I would argue that my decision-making framework related to SARS-CoV-2/COVID-19—especially given the unknowns—is sound at the time of this writing. This is true regardless of eventual outcome. And anyone who says they’re 100% certain of outcomes — right now — is either delusional or lying. At best, they are gambling with a blindfold on, not betting intelligently.

For more on all of this, I suggest reading Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts by poker champion Annie Duke.

Last, you know what is much scarier to me than COVID-19?

When people vehemently “know” things that they simply cannot know.

And scarier still?

When otherwise smart people veto their structured thinking because they have inconveniences or incentives (money, work, business travel, etc.) that lead them to search for disconfirming evidence. 

That’s when really big problems become inevitable.

Ryan Holiday — Turning the Tables (#410)

Welcome to The Tim Ferriss Show! It is — usually — my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types to tease out the habits, routines, favorite books, and so on that you can apply and test in your own life. This time we have a “turning the tables” episode. What does that mean? Well, I will not be the one doing the interviewing. Instead, I will be the one being interviewed by my friend, Ryan Holiday.

So who is this Ryan fella?

Ryan Holiday (TW/IG: @RyanHoliday) is one of the world’s foremost thinkers and writers on ancient philosophy and its place in modern life. He is a sought-after speaker and strategist and the author of many bestselling books, including The Obstacle Is the Way, Ego Is the Enemy, and The Daily Stoic. His books have been translated into more than 30 languages and have sold more than two million copies worldwide. He lives with his family outside of Austin, Texas. You can subscribe to receive his writing at RyanHoliday.net and DailyStoic.com. Ryan was also the fourth-ever guest on the podcast in the very beginning, and he has written multiple popular guest posts for my blog, which you can find at tim.blog.

His latest book is Stillness Is the Key, which was an instant #1 New York Times bestseller and Wall Street Journal bestseller.

I also recommend checking out the interview on YouTube, if you like, as I made sure to have video from multiple angles for this episode. Just go to youtube.com/timferriss.

Please enjoy! 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube. 

Listen onApple Podcasts
Listen onSpotify
Listen onOvercast

#410: Ryan Holiday — Turning the Tables
https://rss.art19.com/episodes/fd3d44b6-ce5b-41e1-8efb-a7d8a0f75481.mp3Download

This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn Jobs. Hiring can be hard, and it and be super expensive and painful if you get it wrong. Today, with more qualified candidates than ever — but also more noise than ever — employers need a hiring solution that helps them find the right people for their businesses. LinkedIn Jobs provides just that by screening candidates with the hard and soft skills you’re looking for so you can quickly find and hire the right person.

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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

SCROLL BELOW FOR LINKS AND SHOW NOTES…

Want to hear another episode with Ryan Holiday? — In this conversation, we discuss the “big three” Stoics, how Stoicism applies to the modern world, and how to improve your decision-making when stakes are high (stream below or right-click here to download):

#4: Ryan Holidayhttps://rss.art19.com/episodes/6e955a89-cac4-4887-8e3c-ec658faa498d.mp3Download

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Ryan Holiday:

RyanHoliday.net | Daily Stoic | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

Stillness Is the Key by Ryan Holiday
The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday
Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday
The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
I Own a Goat: Some Animals and a Mini-Farm Give a Tech Guy Some Peace by Ryan Holiday, The Observer
Dog Breakfast Tips with Molly by Tim Ferriss, YouTube
Susan Garrett — Master Dog (and Human) Trainer, The Tim Ferriss Show #200
Dogs and Humans Evolved Together, Study Suggests, Live Science
Importance and Benefits of Empathy, Verywell Mind
Where Should You Live? This App Will Tell You, Smithsonian Magazine
, The Big Apple
A Blue Dot In Sea Of Red, Travis County Voting Was Decidedly Pro-Clinton, Patch
Jeffrey’s of Austin
Josephine House
Interview with Peter Thiel, Billionaire Investor and Company Creator, The Tim Ferriss Show #28
The 5 Things I Did to Become a Better Investor, The Tim Ferriss Show #109
How to Say “No” When It Matters Most (or “Why I’m Taking a Long ‘Startup Vacation'”) by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
Trilogy Software
The 4-Hour Chef: The Simple Path to Cooking Like a Pro, Learning Anything, and Living the Good Life by Timothy Ferriss
Sir Richard Branson — The Billionaire Maverick of the Virgin Empire, The Tim Ferriss Show #272
I Asked Jeff Bezos the Tough Questions — No Profits, the Book Controversies, the Phone Flop — and He Showed Why Amazon Is Such a Huge Success by Henry Blodget, Business Insider
South by Southwest (SXSW)
Why Comedian Dave Chappelle Walked Away from $50 Million, The Oprah Winfrey Show
Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice from the Best in the World by Timothy Ferriss
So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love by Cal Newport
The Kristina Talent Stack, Scott Adams Says
This American Life
Maria Popova on Being Interesting, Creating More Time in a Day, And How to Start a Successful Blog, The Tim Ferriss Show #92
Moral Letters to Lucilius Letter 18 (RE: Timon’s, or “Paupers’ Huts”) by Seneca
Fear-Setting: The Most Valuable Exercise I Do Every Month by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
Premeditatio Malorum: “The Pre-Meditation of Evils” (Stoic Exercise) by Ryan Holiday, Daily Stoic
Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA), Investopedia
Barton Springs Pool, Austin
Burning Man
The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss
“Memento Mori”: The Reminder We All Desperately Need by Ryan Holiday, Daily Stoic
Ed Cooke, Grandmaster of Memory, on Mental Performance, Imagination, and Productive Mischief, The Tim Ferriss Show #52 & #53
Memrise
The Man Who Studied 1,000 Deaths to Learn How to Live, The Tim Ferriss Show #153
More Money Than God: Hedge Funds and the Making of a New Elite by Sebastian Mallaby
Liar’s Poker: Rising Through the Wreckage on Wall Street by Michael Lewis
How to Measure Anything: Finding the Value of Intangibles in Business by Douglas W. Hubbard
Zocdoc
Bad Science: Quacks, Hacks, and Big Pharma Flacks by Ben Goldacre
The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat Loss, Incredible Sex and Becoming Superhuman by Timothy Ferriss
Think Twice: Harnessing the Power of Counterintuition by Michael J. Mauboussin
We Feel Fine: An Almanac of Human Emotion by Sep Kamvar and Jonathan Harris
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Simply Psychology
Hilarious Graphs Prove That Correlation Isn’t Causation, Fast Company
The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine by Michael Lewis
Stephen Curry and the Duration of the Great Stagnation by Tyler Cowen, Marginal Revolution
Reinventing the Suitcase by Adding the Wheel, The New York Times
IDEO
frog Design
Objectified
Helvetica
The Story of Uber, Investopedia
AngelList
Evernote
5-Bullet Friday
The Slow-Carb Diet by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
How to Write a Bestselling Book This Year — The Definitive Resource List and How-To Guide by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
Sedona, AZ Visitor Guide
The $12 Million Stuffed Shark: The Curious Economics of Contemporary Art by Don Thompson
Amazon Kindle
Goodreads
The Tail End by Tim Urban, Wait But Why
The Best Books and Articles I Read in 2019 by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
The Sunk Cost Fallacy, You Are Not So Smart
Finding the One Decision That Removes 100 Decisions (or, Why I’m Reading No New Books in 2020) by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg Mckeown
Super Pumped: The Battle for Uber by Mike Isaac
Email (Let’s Drop the Hyphen) by Don Knuth

SHOW NOTES

How adopting and taking care of a dog has taught me to be better to myself and others (and why this isn’t necessarily the right approach to personal improvement for everyone). [05:50]
Putting us at odds with our evolutionary programming, is the nature of modern life conducive to fostering neuroses and self-absorption to the point where we have to consciously cultivate empathy? [16:48]
Why did I decide to move to Austin, and how do I feel about the decision a few years into it? How does it compare to — and contrast with — other cities where I’ve lived and spent time? [20:02]
Competition is for losers. [29:49]
We’ve covered why I decided to come to Austin, but what really motivated my decision to leave the Bay Area? What historically drives my need to, as Ryan says, “walk away at the top” whether it’s from investing or the fulfillment of a seemingly impossible book deadline? [31:03]
Journaling as a way to think up new ideas rather than merely capturing them (Thanks, Kevin Kelly!), and the perks of remembering that big life choices — like moving to another city or dropping out of college — don’t have to be treated as irrevocable if we want to expand our palette of life experiences and become contenders in our craft(s) of choice. [38:21]
Contrary to popular belief, I’m very risk-averse. So when I weigh good risk vs. bad risk, here’s how I consider what there is to be gained even in the case of “failure.” [45:43]
Fear-setting, premeditatio malorum, and how I cultivate walkaway power with my own projects. [52:10]
Energy management, the value of simplicity, and the question I ask myself now when weighing my potential involvement in any project. [56:54]
Why I prefer conducting experiments that promote deliberate lifestyle design and quality of life improvements now to the typical “slave, save, retire” formula so ingrained in the American work ethic. [1:01:12]
Even though it can be challenging to shift gears mid-career, just remember: no one can condemn you to do anything for life just because you’re good at it — except for yourself. [1:07:29]
Costs of inaction, non-morbid ruminations on mortality, and the Stoic reminder of Memento Mori (“Remember you must die”) — that life is not on an indefinite lease. [1:09:05]
Why, even if you keep all your money in a mattress, studying good investors is worth a lot — especially if you’ve ever had a bad math teacher. Remember: anyone who’s alive invests to some capacity, whether it’s capital, time, or energy. Here are some books I recommend that should get you started. [1:15:32]
What are you going to care about if you’re lucky enough to get older than you are right now? [1:21:19]
How exploring the distinction between correlation and causation becomes even more absurd when contributing factors get downplayed or overlooked entirely and lazy media outlets report on extrapolations made from poorly understood abstracts — and the opportunity this spells for those willing to pay attention (whether they’re investors, inventors, designers, or athletes). [1:24:23]
The history of Uber — from a misunderstood concept that was universally mocked by investors to a multi-billion dollar valuation — illustrates this phenomenon and drives home the usefulness of the one percent as a demographic of price-insensitive guinea pigs for prototype testing. [1:30:35]
At any given point, we’re all getting it wrong. So how have I honed the ability to get it right at least some of the time when opportunities hiding in plain sight are ripe for the spotting? [1:33:44]
On learning from the experiences of others, sharing our experiences so others might learn from us, and trying to make sense of those who — for whatever reason — choose not to. [1:35:10]
When life’s so short, how do I decide what gets added to my reading list? What’s my methodology for breaking down books, and where do I get the knowledge that saves me painful (and time-expensive) trial and error? [1:41:46]
Why keeping on top of things is a losing game when you’re more accurately striving to get to the bottom of things. [1:52:47]
Parting thoughts and Stoic farewells. [1:55:31]

PEOPLE MENTIONED

Molly
Bucket
Krista Tippett
Mike Maples
David Brooks
Peter Thiel
Kamal Ravikant
Kevin Kelly
Mark Zuckerberg
Bill Gates
Richard Branson
Jeff Bezos
Dave Chappelle
Will Smith
Cal Newport
Scott Adams
Maria Popova
Seneca
Marcus Aurelius
Warren Buffett
Ed Cooke
Naval Ravikant
BJ Miller
Muneeb Ali
Nick Ganju
Ben Goldacre
Sep Kamvar
Tyler Cowen
Stephen Curry
Otto von Bismarck
Leo Tolstoy
Tim Urban
David Foster Wallace
Greg McKeown
William Shakespeare
Donald Trump
Donald Knuth

Brené Brown — Striving versus Self-Acceptance, Saving Marriages, and More (#409)

“We chase extraordinary moments instead of being grateful for ordinary moments until hard shit happens. And then in the face of really hard stuff — illness, death, loss — the only thing we’re begging for is a normal moment.”
—Brené Brown

Dr. Brené Brown (@BreneBrown) is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Brené hosts the Unlocking Us podcast, and her TED talk — The Power of Vulnerability — is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 45 million views. She is also the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix. The Call to Courage special debuted on the streaming service on April 19, 2019.

Please enjoy Brené’s return to the show!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube. 

Listen onApple Podcasts
Listen onSpotify
Listen onOvercast

#409: Brené Brown — Striving versus Self-Acceptance, Saving Marriages, and More
https://rss.art19.com/episodes/d1a9301a-2f69-48ff-805e-1f8e427582da.mp3Download

This episode of The Tim Ferriss Show is brought to you by Brave, the next-generation Web browser. Brave was built by a team of privacy-focused, performance-oriented pioneers of the Web at the direction of Brendan Eich (co-founder of Mozilla Firefox and creator of JavaScript) and Brian Bondy. Brave now has more than 10 million monthly active users—including me.

Why Brave? Because Brave gives you unmatched speed, security, and privacy. Whereas other browsers suck up your data—profiling and tracking you across the Web and using that information to manipulate your decisions—Brave operates up to six times faster by blocking ads and website trackers, preserving your anonymity and protecting you from this surveillance economy. Brave also includes options such as Private Window with Tor for those seeking advanced privacy and safety. Intuitive and easy to use, Brave allows you to import bookmarks from other browsers with one click, and all your favorite Chrome extensions are available with Brave. Listeners of The Tim Ferriss Show can easily upgrade their browser for free right now by going to Brave.com/Tim.

This episode is also brought to you by Helix Sleep. I recently moved into a new home and needed new beds, and I purchased mattresses from Helix Sleep. It offers mattresses personalized to your preferences and sleeping style without costing thousands of dollars. Visit HelixSleep.com/TIM and take the simple 2-3 minute sleep quiz to get started, and the team there will build a mattress you’ll love.

Their customer service makes all the difference. The mattress arrives within a week, and the shipping is completely free. You can try the mattress for 100 nights, and if you’re not happy, it’ll pick it up and offer a full refund. To personalize your sleep experience, visit HelixSleep.com/TIM and you’ll receive up to $125 off your custom mattress.

What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

SCROLL BELOW FOR LINKS AND SHOW NOTES…

Want to hear another episode with Brené Brown? — Listen to her first appearance on this show in which we discuss vulnerability, schools of philosophy, and creating a home-run TED Talk (stream below or right-click here to download):

#100: Brené Brown on Vulnerability and Home Run TED Talkshttps://rss.art19.com/episodes/179764dd-aa5b-4a50-af08-89b23bcc8435.mp3Download

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Brené Brown:

Website | Unlocking Us Podcast | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn

Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown
The Call to Courage, Netflix
Tools of Titans: Brené Brown Distilled and Other Goodies, The Tim Ferriss Show #207
Brené Brown on Vulnerability and Home Run TED Talks, The Tim Ferriss Show #100
Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown
Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution. by Brené Brown
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown
The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown, TEDxHouston
Play of the Day, ESPN Video
Hotel Saint Cecilia, Austin
The Rolling Stones
Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation by Bruce Tift
The Five-Minute Journal
The Developmental View (from Already Free) by Bruce Tift, Sounds True
Fruition as Path by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
The Paradox, Not Contradiction, of the Hypostatic Union, A Canadian Catholic
Narcissism and Other Defenses Against Shame by Joseph Burgo, Psychology Today
Rush
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
Understanding the Significance of Pandora’s Box, ThoughtCo
Topo Chico Mineral Water
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
The Hedgehog Concept by Jim Collins
Dom D’Agostino — The Power of the Ketogenic Diet, The Tim Ferriss Show #172
Read the Big Book and Twelve Steps, Alcoholics Anonymous
The Three Stooges
The Culinary Institute of America
4 Destructive Traits of Perfectionism from Dr. Brené Brown, The Growth Faculty
iTunes Movie Trailers, Apple
Rick Beato at YouTube
Paperback Writer by The Beatles
Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas
The Bodyguard Soundtrack
Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
Jim Croce
Law and Order
The Best of Gogglebox, Reactions To The Oscars Controversy, Mary Berry, & More, BBC Channel 4
The Terminator
Brené’s Favorite TikTok Video
Brené Brown Brings ‘Dare to Lead’ Program to UT as New Visiting Professor of Management, UT News
Up In The Air

SHOW NOTES

What is it about Brené that elicits such an almost universally enamored response from women at the mention of her name? [05:44]
As someone who was unexpectedly thrust into the role of public figure when her TED Talk went viral, how has Brené determined where to draw lines and boundaries? [10:24]
On chasing the extraordinary instead of embracing the ordinary — until we have to face the really hard stuff life throws our way. [14:54]
Instead of relegating it to her secret shame life, Brené bravely shares a story about what went on in her head when she was the uncomfortable subject of a recent photo session. [15:54]
Where’s the line between being our best selves or striving for excellence, and embracing who we are? Self-acceptance and complacency? Excellence and beauty in all things and perfectionism that is paralyzing? [19:08]
Can you change in a lasting, meaningful way without self-acceptance? Can there be such a thing as self-aware complacency? What if you’re delusional (or narcissistic) enough to believe you’re self-aware and self-accepting while being neither? [29:28]
Sometimes I worry that I’ve lost my audience when we go off on threads like this one. Here’s a confession that I hope doesn’t sound too woo about what I consider the crux skill that underlies all others, and why I believe the questions I’m trying to answer these days are not at odds with questions I’ve answered in the past. [33:22]
Conversation’s not always an efficient process, which is why this segment covers narcissism as the shame-based fear of being ordinary, Brené’s surprising fanaticism for Rush (RIP Neil Peart), shifting audience demographics, and no plans for writing The 4-Hour Self-Awareness. [35:19]
“What are you unwilling to feel?” Why we don pathological armor for protection and how we might take the first steps in shedding it once we find the courage to do so — hopefully before we’re “halfway to dead.” [37:55]
When such a decision is made — usually around mid-life — what do we hope replaces the armor and becomes a superpower? [44:56]
Nobody makes it to adulthood without some kind of trauma, and that trauma won’t let you discard that armor without a fight — or the help of a therapist. [46:36]
When your trauma and dysfunction and problems pile up, you’re dealing with it no matter what. The question is: how are you dealing with it? With the control that self-awareness brings, or under the control of what you’re up against? [47:20]
Not all changes need to take 20 or 30 years. With the right resources, tools, and support system (like an empathic significant other), they can be made in a mere fraction of that time. [49:47]
Why getting married was the hardest thing Brené has ever done, and the hacks that have kept that marriage — and the whole family — going for 25 years. [53:05]
Does every member of the family have a vote in the decision-making process at Brené’s house? How is power distributed? [57:22]
Brené’s theory on parenting, how it works in her household, and why her kids follow the rules even when they’re not at home. [58:23]
Why Brené encouraged her super-academic daughter to slow down and enjoy her time in high school and college without racing toward some grand finale career decided upon at age 18. [1:00:03]
Why everybody should have to work at least one — preferably two — service jobs early in life. [1:02:29]
Five things Brené has changed her mind about in the last few years. [1:04:10]
Five absurd, stupid things Brené does. [1:10:58]
Five things Brené is super excited about. [1:16:18]
One last TikTok joke and parting thoughts. [1:20:14]

PEOPLE MENTIONED

Esther Perel
LeBron James
Randal Ford
Bruce Tift
Gautama Buddha
Tara Brach
Bessel Van Der Kolk
Carl Jung
Steve Alley
Peter Attia
Jim Collins
Rick Beato
Whitney Houston
George Clooney
Elmer Fudd

11 Reasons Not to Become Famous (or “A Few Lessons Learned Since 2007”)

November of 2008. I had more hair, a flip phone, and absolutely no idea what was coming.

“Let the cymbals of popularity tinkle still. Let the butterflies of fame glitter with their wings. I shall envy neither their music nor their colors.” 
– John Adams
Letters of John Adams: Addressed to His Wife

“If I’m not famous by 30, I might as well put a bullet in my head.”

That’s an actual sentence I spoke to one of my closest friends. At the time, I was 28.

Fortunately, unlike during my darkest period in college, I wasn’t serious about suicide. Nonetheless, the sentiment was real. I felt like I somehow needed fame. In retrospect, there was a lot of self-loathing from tough childhood experiences, and I desperately hoped that love from without (i.e., from masses of other people) would somehow make up for hate from within.

As luck would have it, I got to test this hypothesis.

The 4-Hour Workweek, my first book, was published in 2007. It hit the New York Times Hardcover Business bestseller list, where it stayed for an unbroken four years and four months. It was quickly translated into approximately 40 languages, and shit went bonkers. Everything changed.

I was 29.

Soon, I was engulfed in a hailstorm of both great and terrible things, and I was utterly unprepared for any of it.

To kick off this post, let’s start with a real example from 2010. I vividly remember the day I received an email from someone we’ll call “James.” James was a frequent commenter on my blog, and we’d become friendly over time. He was a great guy and a huge help to other readers. I’d given him advice, he’d built a few successful businesses, and we’d developed a nice virtual rapport. That day in 2010, however, I actually received an email from James’ longtime assistant. It was succinct: “James learned so much from you, and he instructed me to give you this video.” I clicked on the attachment. James popped up. He was clearly agitated and clenching his jaw, making contorted faces and speaking strangely. He thanked me for all of my help over the years and explained that it had helped him through some very dark times. He finished by saying that he was sorry, but that he had to end things. That’s when he turned off the video and killed himself.

This experience profoundly fucked me up for a long period of time.

Suffice to say, I didn’t realize that this type of thing was part of the Faustian fame-seeking bargain.

THE 30,000-FOOT VIEW

Now it’s 2020. 13 years, 5 books, 1,000+ blog posts, and nearly 500M podcast downloads later, I’ve learned a few things about the promises and perils of seeking fame.

And I say “seeking fame” deliberately, because—let’s be honest—I’m not really famous. Beyoncé and Brad Pitt are truly famous. They cannot walk around in public anywhere in the world. I am a micro public figure with a monthly audience in the millions or tens of millions. There are legions of people on Instagram alone with audiences of this size. New platforms offer new speed. Some previous unknowns on TikTok, for example, have attracted millions of followers in a matter of weeks.

If you suddenly had 100,000 or 1,000,000 or 10,000,000 more followers, what might happen?

I thought I knew, and I was naive.

This post will explore a lot of things. Chief among them will be answering the question: if you win the popularity game, what might you expect?

I’ll mention some of the rewards and upsides, which can be incredible. I will also talk about some of the risks and downsides, which can be horrifying.

My hope is that this post will help people better understand the wall their ladder is leaning against… before they spend years climbing towards the top. Or, in a world of TikTok-like acceleration, before they let the genie out of the bottle without thinking it through.

If you’re interested in building a large audience to become rich and famous, some warnings and recommendations are in order. If you’re interested in building a large audience you also truly care about and with whom you are vulnerable, even more precautionary tales are in order.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, SOME VERY REAL BENEFITS

Let’s cover some of the great stuff first.

One could easily argue that the national exposure that accompanied The 4-Hour Workweek and later books was a necessary ingredient for:

Meeting many of my now dear friends, including Kevin Rose, Matt Mullenweg, and many others. These are people I hope will be my close brothers and sisters for life. That led to…Being able to invest in dozens of early-stage technology deals, the proceeds of which then allowed…Helping many causes and organizations that are making a real, positive dent in the world, including education (DonorsChoose, QuestBridge, etc.); scientific research aimed at treatments for chronic depression, PTSD, and other “intractable” psychiatric conditions (Johns Hopkins, UCSF, etc.); and more.Launching projects to aid the above (e.g., Trip of Compassion documentary)And then there are the occasional fringe benefits, like getting tables at busy restaurants, getting free samples of products (although “free” often ends up being the most expensive), and so on.

Many of the things I’m proudest of in life would have been difficult or impossible to accomplish without a large audience. For that, I owe every one of my readers and listeners a huge debt of gratitude.

Using fame as a lever, however, can be tricky. 

First off, what type of “fame” do you want? In concrete terms, what would “successful” look like and over what period of time? From 0–100%, how confident are you that you can convert exposure to income? If more than 0%, what evidence do you have to suggest that your strategy will work? Do you have a plan for becoming unfamous if you don’t like it?

During my college years, one of my dorm mate’s dads was a famous Hollywood producer. He once said to me, “You want everyone to know your name and no one to know your face.”

Taking it a step further, we could quote Bill Murray:

I always want to say to people who want to be rich and famous: ‘try being rich first.’ See if that doesn’t cover most of it. There’s not much downside to being rich, other than paying taxes and having your relatives ask you for money. But when you become famous, you end up with a 24-hour job. . . . The only good thing about fame is that I’ve gotten out of a couple of speeding tickets. I’ve gotten into a restaurant when I didn’t have a suit and tie on. That’s really about it.

But how could this be true? It seems like a farce. At the very least, it must be an exaggeration, right?

To wrap your head around what “famous” really means, there is one metaphor that might help.

THE TRIBE, THE VILLAGE, THE CITY — THIS IS IMPORTANT

Here’s an email I received in July of 2007:

[Your sport] shows that you are a hypocrite to profess helping others with your book. You are showing a grave example of the White horseman to our children. Shame on you. Shame on you… Shame. And Wickedness… It is the most evil war on earth, the one for blood spectacle for those who would entertain by whoring themselves prostituting violence to those who seek and lust to watch inhumanity. You are an evil one who has gained the world and lost your soul.

What did I do or say that caused this? Was it in response to a how-to article on clubbing baby seals?

Not quite. It was in response to my blog post highlighting the non-profit DonorsChoose.org, which I’ve advised for 10+ years. The explicit goal? To raise money for under-funded public school classrooms. In the introduction, I happened to mention that the founder and CEO of DonorsChoose was my wrestling partner in high school. That’s it.  

This same “White horseman” reader proceeded to send me more than a dozen increasingly threatening emails, concluding with “I shall deliver you on judgment day.”

Was that a death threat? Was there anything I should do or could do about it? I’d never dealt with such things, and I didn’t know. But I did know one thing: it was very scary and completely out of the blue.

That week, I shared the above story with a female career blogger. She laughed and said soberly, “Welcome to the party.” She got an average of one death threat and one sex request/threat per week. At the time, our audiences were roughly the same size.

This brings me to the topic of audience size and the metaphor of the tribe, the village, and the city.

Think back to your 5th-grade class. In my case, there were 20–30 kids. Was there anyone totally off the rails in your class? For most of you, there’s a decent chance kids seemed pretty sane. It’s a small sample size.

Next, think back to your freshman year in high school. In my case, there were a few hundred kids. Was there anyone volatile or unbalanced? I can think of at least a handful who were prone to violence and made me uneasy. There were fights. Some kids brought knives to school. There was even a kid rumored to enjoy torturing animals. Keep in mind: this high school was in the same town as my elementary school. What changed? The sample size was larger.

Flash forward to my life in July of 2007, less than three months after the publication of my first book. 

In that short span of time, my monthly blog audience had exploded from a small group of friends (20–30?) to the current size of Providence, Rhode Island (180,–200,000 people). Well, let’s dig into that. What do we know of Providence? Here’s one snippet from Wikipedia, and bolding is mine:

Compared to the national average, Providence has an average rate of violent crime and a higher rate of property crime per 100,000 inhabitants. In 2010, there were 15 murders, down from 24 in 2009. In 2010, Providence fared better regarding violent crime than most of its peer cities. Springfield, Massachusetts, has approximately 20,000 fewer residents than Providence but reported 15 murders in 2009, the same number of homicides as Providence but a slightly higher rate per capita.

The point is this: you don’t need to do anything wrong to get death threats, rape threats, etc. You just need a big enough audience. Think of yourself as the leader of a tribe or the mayor of a city.

The averages will dictate that you get a certain number of crazies, con artists, extortionists, possible (or actual) murderers, and so on. In fairness, we should also include a certain number of geniuses, a certain number of good Samaritans, and so on. Sure, your subject matter and content matters, but it doesn’t matter as much as you’d like to think.

To recap: the bigger the population, the more opportunities and problems you will have. A small, self-contained town in Idaho might not have a Pulitzer Prize winner among its residents, but it probably doesn’t need a SWAT team either.

Now, here we are in 2020.  

My monthly audience is larger than the size of New York City (NYC).  

For fun, Google “New York City” and click on “News.” On some level, those are the dynamics—good and bad—you will need to deal with if your audience is that large.

But let’s assume you only have 100 or 1,000 followers. You should still wonder: At any given time, how many of these people might go off of their meds? And how many of the remaining folks will simply wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, feeling the need to lash out at someone? The answer will never be zero.

ON THE DARKER SIDE, SOME VERY REAL ISSUES

To quote Henry David Thoreau, “The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” (Walden)

With that in mind, let’s look at some very common downsides of exposure. Nearly all of my friends who have audiences of 1M or more have personal stories for every category I’ll describe.

If you’ve ever wondered why many celebrities disappear for a period of time, sometimes years, it’s often in the hopes that the below will fade or go away. Sadly, it’s very hard to put the toothpaste back in the toothpaste tube once you have a large Google footprint.

Best to be aware in advance. Here be dragons…

Stalkers.

One example to set the tone: Back when I lived in SF, a fan on the East Coast thought I was sending him secret, personalized messages embedded in my public Facebook posts. He believed I was asking him to move into my house and work for me. He told his co-workers, who were worried he’d go postal, so they reported him to the CEO, who reached out to me. It was a close call, and I got lucky. This particular employee had already bought plane tickets for the following week, intending to fly to SF to find me. I got the FBI involved, his family staged an intervention, and, lo and behold, he had gone off of his meds for psychiatric disorders. Another example from 2008, a year after my first book came out. That’s when the first person showed up at my door looking for me. I’d just closed on my first home, a cute little townhouse near Sunnyvale, CA. The random visits didn’t happen sooner, as I’d been renting up to that point.

Many more people followed. My little townhouse was cute, but it was totally unprotected: no gate, no nothing. Eventually, one male stalker ended up hanging out in front of my house nonstop, taking pictures and posting them on social media with comments like “Too bad Tim Ferriss isn’t home. I missed him again!” Things snowballed from there, and I had to sell the house and move. When traveling, I’ve also had to stop posting photos to social until well after the fact. Why? I’ve had people triangulate the city I’m visiting, call every hotel in the city to ask for a registered guest with my last name, and then fly to the country to find me and/or my family. I’ve since learned to use pseudonyms, but we’ll get to that later…



Death threats. 

I get regular death threats, and this is common for public figures. I would estimate I get at least one per month via some channel. Sometimes they’re related to extortion (coming later), but they’re most often from people who are mentally unstable. What are they angry about? Once again, therein lies the rub: it is rarely in response to anything that I’ve said or done. That is the scariest thing, and it’s also why the tribe-village-city metaphor is so apt. The people sending death threats are normally suffering from psychotic episodes, and there is nothing you can do to prevent them.

One example: A few years ago, I received a text message from an unknown number with “I know what you did. I’m going to make you pay.” I have no idea how they got my number, but it went on and on in nebulous terms. I engaged and took screenshots, trying to figure out who it was and what the hell was going on. Since they kept texting, I was able to gather that it was a woman (or someone who was claiming to be), and she said, “You humiliated me, and now it’s your turn for pain. I know you’re speaking at SXSW, and everyone is going to know and see.” Fortunately, I had enough data to get lawyers, private investigators, and law enforcement involved. It also meant that I had armed security at SXSW that year, and I was constantly on pins and needles, waiting for the other shoe to drop. So…. In the end, did I learn who it was? I did. It was a middle-aged mother living in rural Texas with her husband and two kids. I’D NEVER MET HER, NOR HAD ANY CONTACT WITH HER.

Just months before this happened, two well-known YouTubers in Austin, Texas had a fan drive 11 hours from New Mexico to their house with a car full of guns. He intended to kill at least one of them. He broke into their home at 4am and hunted for them from room to room, .45-caliber handgun in hand. They hid in a closet and frantically called 911. From related media coverage: “They’re a popular Texas couple on YouTube, but they never thought that would put their lives in danger. That is until an Albuquerque stalker showed up at their house in the middle of the night with a gun and bad intentions.” Fortunately, the police arrived and the intruder ended up dead, but it could’ve easily ended differently. In some cases, the intended target gets blown away before they even realize what’s happening. Ironically, it’s often the diehard fans professing love who kill them, not “haters” of any type.

Given how often I get threats, and how truly dangerous it can be, I decided to get a concealed carry permit and carry concealed firearms. I wanted to avoid this, and I wish it weren’t the case, but here we are (P.S. Thanks for the frangible round recommendation, Jocko).

I also trained my girlfriend to use a Taser, which relates to the next category…



Harassment of family members and loved ones.

There are at least two categories of people who will want to find you: fundamentally nice people (albeit overenthusiastic), and fundamentally malevolent people. I hate to put it that way, but I’ve learned that there are people in this world who derive great pleasure from hurting or threatening others.

If either group can’t easily get to you — whether to find you or harm you — they will often go after your family and loved ones.

If they’re an attacker, they will go for what they perceive to be your weakest link. This is precisely why I never mention the names of my closest friends or girlfriends, unless they are public figures already.

Of all the issues in this post, this one upsets me the most. In some respects, I invited this upon myself with my decisions, but none of my loved ones asked for it. Even to write about this aspect makes me furious, so I’ll keep this bullet short.



Dating woes.

As you might imagine, dating can be a quagmire of liabilities and bear traps. It could be someone hoping to write a clickbait article about their date with you (obviously without disclosing such), or it could be much worse. If you’re a female, this is where things can once again become physically dangerous. If you’re a male, this is where things can become legally dangerous. There are many predators for both sides, and it can make you lose your faith in humanity.



Extortion attempts.

I could write an entire blog post about this topic. One simple example: In 2019, my team and I received a threat. In essence: “Pay me X now, or I will DDOS your site.” Since a DDOS is a technological attack on a website, and I’m confident in the strength of the Automattic hosting infrastructure, we decided not to respond. The extortionist didn’t like our silence and replied with a bomb threat. This was shortly after the Austin serial bombings, which had killed two people, so I escalated to forensic analysis, investigators, law enforcement, etc. I’ve been very good at tracking down extortionists, I don’t negotiate with terrorists, and I’m more than happy to have public battles if I’m in the right, but… it’s all a huge energy suck. The most common form of extortion is some variety of “Unless you give me X, I’m going to say Y about you.” Fortunately, I’ve spent years deliberately talking about controversial topics and disclosing uncomfortable personal stories. In part, this has been to avoid the temptation to create a squeaky-clean public persona. It also robs would-be extortionists of a lot of common ammo.

If you don’t have your own ammo, this category can be catastrophic. In other words, if you have more fame than resources, you paint yourself into a vulnerable corner. If you have fewer options and fewer allies, you’ll be attractive to predators.



Desperation messages and pleas for help.

This is a sad category, much like the the suicide video story in the introduction to this piece. It’s one thing to get an “I committed suicide and I’m letting you know” note, which is absolutely awful. It’s quite another to get a message with something like: “You’re my last hope. I have no one else to ask. If you can’t help me with X, Y, and Z in the next 48 hours, I’m going to kill myself.” I have received dozens of these. In the beginning, I tried to help everyone and became horribly enmeshed. This never failed to end in misery and countless sleepless nights. Now, the senders of such notes are referred to suicide hotlines (e.g., 1 (800) 273-8255 in the U.S., a list of international hotlines (alternative link)) and a post I wrote entitled “Some Practical Thoughts on Suicide.” I owe many thanks to Violet Blue for her moral and tactical support with many of these situations. Thank you, Violet. This is very rough terrain. The more you operate in the world of how-to advice, and the more vulnerable you are with your audience, the more of these you will receive.



Kidnapping.

If you appear semi-famous online, guess what? Even if you’re not rich, it can be assumed that you have enough money to make a nice ransom. There are places where kidnapping is an established industry, and professionals do this on a regular basis. The US is generally safe, but if you’re flying overseas, you should be aware of a few things. 

For example, if you use a car service, give them a fake name (and nothing cute like “James Bond,” which will blow it) that they’ll use on the sign or iPad to find you at luggage claim. Here’s why: it’s common practice for organized crime to have an arrangement to buy flight manifests from airport employees. This means that the potential kidnappers, much like a Michelin three-star restaurant, will Google every name associated with every seat to figure out exactly who is who. If you appear to make an attractive target, they will then go to the airport an hour before you land, find the driver with your name on a sign, and pay or threaten them to leave. They then replace your driver with their own driver, who now holds the sign and waits for you. B’bye! This can take other forms, too. Once in Central Asia, I had a driver show up at my hotel to take me to the airport, but… he used my real name, and I’d given the car service a fake name. To buy time, I asked him to wait while I made a few phone calls. About 10 minutes later, the real driver showed up to take me to the airport, using the designated pseudonym. The first fraudulent driver took off, and to this day, I have no idea how he knew where I was staying or when I was leaving. But it bears repeating: there are professionals who do this, and they will be very good at what they do.



Impersonation, identity theft, etc.

The more visible you are, the more people will attempt to impersonate you or your employees. This could be to hack a website, access a bank account, get a SSN, or otherwise. Companies or fly-by-night entrepreneurs will also use your name and face to sell everything from web services and e-books to shady info products and penis pills (sadly all real examples). This is something that my lawyers deal with on a weekly basis. It’s non-stop. For both reputational and liability reasons, it’s important to track and guard against much of this.



Attack and clickbait media.

There are a lot of amazing writers and media professionals with rock-solid ethics. Many of my dear friends are journalists in this camp. On the flip side, there are increasingly large numbers of bad actors due to perverse incentives created by the click-baity, fast-is-the-new-good digital playing field.

Remember the tribe-village-city metaphor? Multiply your target audience size by two. Now recall the percentage of that audience that might be angry or off of their meds. Next, double that percentage to include those who will do gray-area things to advance their careers. Last, give all of those people a job — or contributor status — at a media outlet.

What a fucking mess.

If you don’t like shitty Twitter comments, or if nasty Facebook remarks get under your skin, just wait until you get your first hatchet job profile piece. It won’t be the last, so brush up on your Stoic philosophy.

This is particularly demoralizing when a piece is full of misquotes, even after you corrected fact-checkers via phone (oops!). Pro tip: Use email for fact-checking, my friends.

Speaking of friends…



“Friends” with ulterior motives.

Once you have a decent sized audience or “platform,” the majority of people who want to grab coffee, ask mutual friends for an intro, or — especially — offer you unsolicited favors will have ulterior motives. It took me a long time to accept this, and I paid a heft tax for being Pollyannaish.

To be clear: I don’t mind pitches, as long as they come upfront. What I can’t stand is fakery to get in someone’s good graces over months, followed with a surprise of “Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you about my new book coming out in a few weeks” and similar shenanigans. This has happened to me more times than I can count, and it feels dirty and gross.

This is one of the main reasons for my ongoing blanket policies, like a commitment to not reading any new books published in 2020. It’s also one of the reasons that the majority of my closest friends are not in the public eye.

Be wary of anyone who just “wants to get to know you.” 99 times out of 100, that will be untrue.



Invasions of privacy.

For all of the reasons in this post (and many more), if you’re doing anything public, you should

never have anything mailed to where you live. If you violate that even once, it’s likely that your name and associated address will end up in company or government databases. Those mailing lists are then rented and traded as revenue streams, and it all ultimately ends up searchable. Remember the story of the Austin YouTubers hunted in their own home? Don’t be them.

For safety, unless you want to take huge risks, use a UPS Store or other off-site mailing address for everything. This is a must-have, not a nice-to-have.



IN CONCLUSION

It’s been a wild ride.

Lest it appear otherwise, this is not intended to be a woe-is-me post. I’ve been very fortunate, and I love my life.

That said, all of the above have created heightened levels of anxiety that I didn’t anticipate. I’m lucky to have the support of my family and friends, my girlfriend, and my guardian and fluffball, Molly. I simply couldn’t handle it otherwise.

Would I have listened to all these warnings in advance? Would it have changed my behavior? I don’t know. Perhaps not. Unless you’ve lived it, it might seem like someone is being gifted a Bugatti and complaining about gas mileage.

The entire experience reminds me of the parable of the blind men and the elephant. This is a parable that has been told across different cultures since at least the 1st millenium BCE:

It is a story of a group of blind men, who have never come across an elephant before and who learn and conceptualize what the elephant is like by touching it. Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant’s body, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and their descriptions of the elephant are different from each other. In some versions, they come to suspect that the other person is dishonest and they come to blows. The moral of the parable is that humans have a tendency to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experience as they ignore other people’s limited, subjective experiences which may be equally true.

Before 2007, I was the blind men.

Here and there, I’d feel the ears (A celebrity in a cover story! Wow! Must be nice!), the tail (Fancy cars in a photo shoot!), or the tusk (Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!).

Only now do I have some idea of what it’s like to be the elephant itself. No matter what part you grab beforehand, you can’t fully appreciate the scope of experience until you’re in it.

If I’ve learned anything, it is this: fame will not fix your problems.  

Instead, fame is likely to magnify all of your insecurities and exaggerate all of your fears. It’s like picking up a fire extinguisher for your pain that ends up being a canister of gasoline. 

If you think you have problems that fame will fix, I implore you to work on the inside first. At the very least, work on both in equal measure. I’ve found books like Awareness and Radical Acceptance to be helpful.

If you don’t, you will end up with sand slipping through your fingers, leaving you with the same feelings of emptiness. Only now, along with disappointment, you will have the new challenges described in this post.

I also highly recommend reading Kevin Kelly’s essay entitled “1,000 True Fans.” Is it possible that being “famous” to the right 1,000 people could get you to your goals faster — and be healthier — than seeking the adoration and validation of millions? I tend to think so.

But then again…

Does that mean no one should pursue the path of Great Fame, or tempt the sirens of the Great Public? I can’t say that. My intention is simply to shine light upon some of the hazards that such a journey entails. 

Perhaps — just perhaps — you should give stardom a shot.

After all, as Jim Carrey has said:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous, and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

The Random Show — New Year’s Resolutions, 2010-2019 Lessons Learned, Finding Joy, Energy Management, and Much More (#408)

Technologist, serial entrepreneur, world-class investor, self-experimenter, and all-around wild and crazy guy Kevin Rose (@KevinRose),  rejoins me for another episode of “The Random Show.” In this one we explore the language of relationships, polarity, energy management, difficult conversations, finding peace and patience, the importance of self-compassion, the search for palatable decaf coffee, panic-selling, serving the moment, and much more!

Please enjoy! 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube. 

Listen onApple Podcasts
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#408: The Random Show — New Year's Resolutions, 2010-2019 Lessons Learned, Finding Joy, Energy Management, and Much More
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This episode of The Tim Ferriss Show is brought to you by Calm. What did LeBron James tell me was the single most important element of his training regimen? Sleep. Whether you’re an athlete, programmer, or student, healthy sleep is essential to peak performance. It strengthens your immune system. It improves cognitive functions like problem-solving and decision-making. It gives you creativity and energy.

Here’s the problem: sound sleep is a rare thing in this caffeinated, hyperconnected, overstimulated world of ours. But there’s a place to get rest, and that is Calm. Just download Calm, and you’ll find a whole library of programs designed for healthy sleep: soundscapes, guided meditations, and over a hundred sleep stories narrated by the world’s most soothing voices like LeVar Burton and Nick Offerman. Right now, listeners of The Tim Ferriss Show get 40% off a Calm premium subscription at Calm.com/tim!

This episode is also brought to you by LinkedIn Marketing Solutions, the go-to tool for B2B marketers and advertisers who want to drive brand awareness, generate leads, or build long-term relationships that result in real business impact.

With a community of more than 575 million professionals, LinkedIn is gigantic, but it can be hyper-specific. You have access to a diverse group of people all searching for things they need to grow professionally. LinkedIn has the marketing tools to help you target your customers with precision, right down to job title, company name, industry, etc.  To redeem your free $100 LinkedIn ad credit and launch your first campaign, go to LinkedIn.com/TFS!

What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

SCROLL BELOW FOR LINKS AND SHOW NOTES…

Want to hear another episode of The Random Show? — Check out my conversation with Kevin when I was in his neck of the woods a few months back in which we discussed Japanese whiskey, domestic speakeasies, wooden saddles, poetry, the art of surrender and letting go, and mushroom cultivation in the Pacific Northwest. (Stream below or right-click here to download):

#391: The Random Show — On Fasting, Forest Bathing, How to Say NO, Rebooting the Self, and Much Morehttps://rss.art19.com/episodes/149ad240-5f84-40e5-97de-0e2b2725b5ad.mp3Download

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Kevin Rose:

The Kevin Rose Show | Oak Meditation | Zero | Instagram | Twitter

Past episodes of The Random Show
Rain Man
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida
Susan Garrett — Master Dog (and Human) Trainer, The Tim Ferriss Show #200
Conscious Leadership Group
The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Warner Klemp
Locating Yourself — A Key to Conscious Leadership, The Conscious Leadership Group, YouTube
Google Ventures
How to Say “No” When It Matters Most (or “Why I’m Taking a Long ‘Startup Vacation'”) by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
Quality and Effort by Seth Godin, Seth’s Blog
5-Bullet Friday
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
Finding the One Decision That Removes 100 Decisions (or, Why I’m Reading No New Books in 2020) by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
Are Saunas the Next Big Performance-Enhancing “Drug”? by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
“The Iceman,” Wim Hof, The Tim Ferriss Show #102
The Tail End by Tim Urban, Wait But Why
The Benefits of Forest Bathing, Time
Utah Vacation Planning and Things to Do, Utah.com
How Plastic is Wrecking Your Health | Carol Kwiatkowski, PhD, The Genius Life 42
What is BPA? Should I Be Worried About It? The Mayo Clinic
7 Things You Didn’t Know about Dynamic Neuromuscular Stabilization (DNS), Athletes Edge
Training for the Centenarian Olympics, Dr. Mark Hyman
Zero, The Intermittent Fasting App
Less Alcohol Tracker
Jerry Colonna — The Coach with the Spider Tattoo, The Tim Ferriss Show #373
, Cinema Blend
The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss
The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss
The 4-Hour Chef by Timothy Ferriss
Tools of Titans by Timothy Ferriss
Tribe of Mentors by Timothy Ferriss
Gary Keller — How to Focus on the One Important Thing, The Tim Ferriss Show #401
Magtein Magnesium L-Threonate
Ascent Protein
Athletic Greens
The Grand Canyon
The Hayduke Trail
Psychedelics-Related Episodes of The Tim Ferriss Show
APOE-?4, SNPedia
The World’s Largest Psychedelic Research Center, The Tim Ferriss Show #385
Why You Should Define Your Fears Instead of Your Goals by Tim Ferriss, TED
Some Practical Thoughts on Suicide by Tim Ferriss, tim.blog
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection by Michael A. Singer
Digg
Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation by Bruce Tift
Jack Kornfield — Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy in the Present, The Tim Ferriss Show #300
How To Practice Mindfulness Meditation, Mindful
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
Scrivener
The Work of Byron Katie
The Federal Drug Scheduling System, Explained, Vox
Christie’s Auctions & Private Sales
Sotheby’s Auction House
Phillips
Hodinkee
Only Watch
‘Worst View in the World’: Banksy Opens Hotel Overlooking Bethlehem Wall, The Guardian
David Hockney: The Art of Seeing
Nick Thompson — Editor-In-Chief of WIRED, The Tim Ferriss Show #311
Who Are Netflix’s Main Competitors? (NFLX), Investopedia
Shopify
Alibaba
Pro Rata Definition, Investopedia
“Living Well Is the Best Revenge.” Quote Investigator
“Sometimes It Is Entirely Appropriate to Kill a Fly with a Sledge-Hammer.” -Maj. I. L. Holdridge
“Never Wrestle with a Pig. You Both Get Dirty and the Pig Likes It.” Quote Investigator

SHOW NOTES

Why is Kevin introducing this show like he’s the 2020 incarnation of Rain Man? [04:03]
Why was wine appropriate for the 10-year anniversary of Kevin and Darya’s first date? [04:57]
Opining on lessons learned from past relationships, polarity, sensitivity, and cultivating the structures that make our current relationships work — even when there’s an occasional breakdown in communication. [07:09]
What did therapy look like when Kevin and Darya were seeing a therapist, and what are the most valuable tools they took away from the experience? [20:12]
What a writer can learn when they get language wrong in a relationship and their partner is patient enough to guide the conversation toward a more understanding tone. [21:48]
What comes to mind most when Kevin reflects on the past decade and what the years ahead have in store? In what area does he feel he’s improved upon thanks to lessons and interactions from the past? [25:33]
Why I tend to err on the side of admitting I don’t know something or someone rather than trying to fake it, where I think my biggest knowledge gaps are currently, and how I’m trying to minimize the number of decisions I’m obligated to make. [28:28]
Why I’m now so committed to strategically saying “no” when I used to say “yes” to everything. [31:22]
As someone who’s known me since well before I had 618,952 unread emails, 287 unread text messages, a neverending supply of unsolicited spam books from publishers, and occasional recognition from strangers on the street, Kevin wonders if I maybe feel a little overwhelmed these days. How am I dealing with time, attention, and energy management? [35:00]
What are the categories of things that have depleted our energy versus the categories of things that have given us energy? What would we like to more of/less of in 2020? [39:53]
Pondering questions Jerry Colonna asked me in episode 373 and applying them to the new year (and heavy conversations I’ve had over the past two weeks): How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want? What needs to be said that isn’t being said? What’s being said that I’m not hearing? What am I saying that’s not being heard? [45:32]
Thoughtful notes to the living and dead, why I resolved to have some recent difficult conversations by voice instead of mail, why I don’t write Kevin as many love letters as I used to, and why a resolution can serve the purpose of closing a loop even if it doesn’t offer any solutions. [51:29]
Important realizations I’ve had when thinking back over the last 10 years. [58:11]
What does the next decade look like for me from a bio-hacking standpoint? Is it still something I focus on, or have I moved away from it intentionally? [1:01:30]
How my interest in bio-hacking began as a self-defense mechanism, and why my focus has shifted more from the known to the unknown in terms of how treatments for certain maladies and disorders are being explored now. [1:07:15]
A realization I’ve had recently about finding peace, and why I’m not making a million resolutions for 2020. [1:16:39]
To what does Kevin credit his greater sense of ease and patience over the last few years? How does this contrast with the way he dealt with situations in the past — even situations he should have been enjoying but couldn’t? [1:17:42]
A book I’m really enjoying now that would have earned mockery from the me of 10 years ago — and how it’s helping me reframe some of the mental struggles that both of us have endured. [1:20:15]
A lot of people who take pride in being achievers don’t extend compassion toward themselves — and I think Kevin and I have both fallen prey to this self-neglect in the past. If you’re having internal dialogue that’s critical without being compassionate, how might we suggest breaking away from its influence for a fresh perspective? [1:27:04]
Is there such a thing as good decaf coffee? If you know of any, please tweet Kevin! For my part, I’m happy to be the first non-caffeinated monkey shot into space on the quest to enlightenment through abstinence. [1:31:32]
Addressing one of the biggest self-help elephants in the room. [1:33:54]
If psychedelics become a legal form of therapy, can the world look forward to Tim Ferriss-branded psychedelic treatment mall kiosks? [1:37:37]
One fun money-generating idea for psychedelic research charity I’m thinking of pursuing in 2020, how Kevin’s connections may already be able to help, and why I think money spent in the direction of this research is capable of such monumental, world-changing results. [1:44:52]
Dream artists I would love to have participating in this effort. [1:48:23]
What uninvestigated secrets might be revealed by paying top-tier journalists $2 a word to find them? [1:49:57]
What does Kevin feel he did quite well over the past 10 years, and what insight might he offer others seeking similar success? [1:55:13]
What is Kevin’s framework for deciding when it’s time to sell off investments — or buy more? [1:59:19]
A time I most regret panic-selling an investment, why it happened then, and what I’ve learned since that decreases the likelihood of panic-selling as my go-to strategy now. [2:01:14]
Understanding one’s own strengths and weaknesses, the luxury of being able to make occasional mistakes in the investment game when you hit home runs more often than you strike out, and how Kevin plays this game safer than it probably looks to an outside observer. [2:04:50]
What is Kevin’s “20 percent ultra-risky” strategy, how did he invest when he didn’t have much to risk, and what happens when that 20 percent grows to 40 or even 90 percent? [2:08:40]
On living well as the best revenge, becoming better at following my own advice over the past 10 years, and why letting an Internet troll starve is ultimately better for you and the troll. [2:13:08]
How Kevin applies Michael Singer’s quote to “serve the moment” to his own circumstances. [2:19:12]
Final thoughts. [2:20:32]

PEOPLE MENTIONED

Darya Rose
Ev Williams
Andrew Weil
David Deida
Jim Dethmer
Diana Chapman
Dustin Moskovitz
Neil Strauss
Seth Godin
Greg McKeown
Tim Urban
Brad Pitt
Peter Attia
Mike Maser
Jerry Colonna
Arya Stark
Gary Keller
Michael Singer
Bruce Tift
Jack Kornfield
Tara Brach
Byron Katie
Leonardo DiCaprio
Banksy
David Hockney
Nick Thompson
David Remnick
Donald Trump
Sam Harris
Doctor Evil

The Story of a Curious Phone Call

The below is a true story from Auburn Sandstrom that blew my mind and opened my heart. It is excerpted with permission from All These Wonders: True Stories about Facing the Unknown.

Read the whole thing. Trust me. Take the five minutes and be rewarded.

Enter Auburn…

The year is 1992, Ann Arbor, Michigan. I’m curled up in a fetal position on a filthy carpet in a very cluttered apartment. I’m in horrible withdrawal from a drug that I’ve been addicted to for several years now. 

In my hand I have a little piece of paper. It’s dilapidated because I’ve been folding it and unfolding it, to the point that it’s almost falling apart. But you can still make out the phone number on it. 

I am in a state of bald terror. If you’ve ever had an anxiety attack, that’s what this felt like. 

I’d been having a nonstop anxiety attack for the last five years. And I’d never been in a darker or more desperate place than I was that night. My husband was out running the streets, trying to get ahold of some of the stuff that we needed, but I knew if he succeeded, he was not going to share. 

And if I could, I would jump out of my own skin and run screaming into the streets to get what I need. But right behind me, sleeping in the bedroom, is my baby boy. 

Now, I wasn’t going to get a Mother of the Year award in 1992. In fact, at the age of twenty-nine, I was failing at a lot of things. 

I had started out fairly auspiciously. I was raised in comfort and privilege. I was that girl who had the opera lessons, spoke fluent French, and had her expensive undergraduate college paid for. I was that person who, when my checking account ran out, would say something to my parents and two hundred dollars would magically appear. 

I know, when the revolution comes, kill me first, right? 

So I had the year abroad. I had the master’s degree. I was, you know, pedigreed. 

But in my twenties, I ended up in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and I started noticing things like poverty and racism and unconscionable injustice. And that people like me were mostly causing it. It was a huge revelation for me. 

I came to the conclusion that the thing I needed to do with my privilege and all the comfort that I’d had all my life was to destroy it. 

Rip it in half. Spit on it. Piss on it. Set it on fire. 

And you know, every time I’ve come to a major faulty conclusion in life, the man comes right after who will help me live it out. And this time was no different. 

Man, he was beautiful—a radical, revolutionary, fine-ass poet from Detroit. 

I was twenty-four, he was forty, and I was smitten, in love. It was so exciting—who he was, how he talked, the way he looked at the world. And it was beautiful for a while, until he introduced me to one of his old activist friends, who introduced us to the drug I was now addicted to. 

I had tried to change my affiliations and transform myself. I had wanted to shed my class. I would have shed my race if I could have. 

But instead of transformation, you have me going ninety miles an hour down I-94 with my poet, in a car full of alcohol and illegal drugs. The baby’s in a car seat (it’s probably not a regulation car seat). He’s covered in candy and chocolate, because you have to keep the baby entertained while you’re taking care of your business, getting yourself some relief. 

This particular night it was bad because, if we were to have been pulled over, we were both on parole. So we would’ve both been locked up, and our child would have been taken from us. 

Underneath my withdrawal and terrible anxiety was a sure knowledge that I was leading the life that was going to lead to me to losing the most precious thing I’d ever had in my life, which was that baby boy. 

I was so desperate at that moment, that I became willing to punch the numbers into the phone. 

The phone number was something my mother had sent me. Now, mind you, I hadn’t been speaking to my parents or anybody else for three, four, five years. 

But she’d managed to get this number to me by mail, and she said, “Look, this is a Christian counselor, and since you can’t talk to anybody else, maybe sometime you could call this person.” 

Now, I think it goes without saying that I wasn’t hanging real tight with that sort of thing in those days. But I was so anxious and in such a desperate state. I was emaciated, covered in bruises. 

I punched in the numbers. I heard the phone pick up. 

I heard a man say, “Hello.” 

And I said, “Hi, I got this number from my mother. Uh, do you think you could maybe talk to me?” 

I heard him shuffling around in the bed, you know? You could tell he was pulling some sheets around himself and sitting up. I heard a little radio in the background, and he snapped it off, and he became very present. 

He said, “Yes, yes, yes. What’s going on?” 

I hadn’t told anybody, including myself, the truth, for a long, long time. And I told him I wasn’t feeling so good and that I was scared and that things had gotten pretty bad in my marriage. 

Before long I started telling him other truths, like I might have a drug problem, and I really, really love my husband, and I wouldn’t want you to say anything bad about him, but he has hit me a few times. And there was a time when he pushed my child and me out into the cold and slammed the door behind us. 

And then there was a time when we were going sixty miles an hour down the highway, and he tried to push us out of the moving vehicle. 

I started telling those truths. And this man didn’t judge me. He just sat with me and was present and listened and had such a kindness and such a gentleness. 

“Tell me more. . . . Oh, that must hurt. . . . Oh.” 

And do you know, I’d made that call at two in the morning. And he stayed up with me the whole night, just talking, just listening, just being there until the sun rose. 

By then I was feeling calm. The raw panic had passed. I was feeling okay. 

I was feeling like, I can splash my face with water today, and I can probably do this day. 

I wouldn’t have cared if the guy was like a Hare Krishna or a Buddhist—it didn’t matter to me what his faith was. 

I was very grateful to him, and so I said, “Hey, you know, I really appreciate you and what you’ve done for me tonight. Aren’t you supposed to be telling me to read some Bible verses or something? Because that’d be cool, I’ll do it, you know. It’s all right.” 

He laughed and said, “Well, I’m glad this was helpful to you.” 

And we talked some more, and I brought it up again. 

I said, “No, really. You’re very, very good at this. I mean, you’ve seriously done a big thing for me. How long have you been a Christian counselor?” 

There’s a long pause. I hear him shifting. “Auburn, please don’t hang up,” he says. “I’ve been trying not to bring this up.” 

“What?” I ask. 

“You won’t hang up?” 

“No.” 

“I’m so afraid to tell you this. But the number you called . . .” He pauses again. “You got the wrong number.” 

Well, I didn’t hang up on him, and we did talk a little longer. I never would get his name or call him back. 

But the next day I felt this kind of joy, like I was shining. I think I’ve heard them call it “the peace that passes understanding.” I had gotten to see that there was this completely random love in the universe. That it could be unconditional. And that some of it was for me. 

And I can’t tell you that I got my life totally together that day. But it became possible to get some help and get the hell out. And it also became possible as a teetotaling, semi-sane, single parent to raise up that precious, chocolate-covered baby boy into a magnificent young scholar and athlete, who graduated from Princeton University in 2013 with honors. 

This is what I know. In the deepest, blackest night of despair, if you can get just one pinhole of light . . . all of grace rushes in. 

AUBURN SANDSTROM is a senior lecturer (part-time) in college writing at the University of Akron. She won the Ohio Arts Council Award for fiction, a Citation for Teaching Excellence in Creative Writing from the University of Michigan, and a Cowden Award for fiction. She is a career college writing instructor with a master’s in fine arts (fiction), and she has an Ohio Language Arts Grades 7–12 Teaching Certification and an Ohio principal’s license grades 5–12. A longtime advocate for urban students, she is currently pursuing a PhD in urban education policy at Cleveland State University. 

This story was told on November 21, 2015, at the Academy of Music Theatre in Northampton, Massachusetts. The theme of the evening was “Lost and Found.” Director: Jenifer Hixson.

Sam Zell — Strategies for High-Stakes Investing, Dealmaking, and Grave Dancing (#407)

“If I can’t run it, then I don’t want to own it.” — Sam Zell

Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types to tease out the habits, routines, favorite books, and so on that you can apply and test in your own life. This time, we have a slightly different episode. I will not be the one doing the deconstructing. Instead, we have a takeover by my very good friend, Peter Attia.

As longtime listeners of the podcast know, Dr. Peter Attia (@PeterAttiaMD) is a former ultra-endurance athlete, a compulsive self-experimenter, and one of the most fascinating human beings I know. He is also one of my go-to doctors for anything related to performance or longevity.  Peter also hosts The Drive, a weekly, ultra-deep-dive podcast focusing on maximizing health, longevity, critical thinking, and a few other things. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

In this episode, we have Peter interviewing Sam Zell, a legendary dealmaker and investor.  Sam is the Chairman of Equity Group Investments, and he was recognized by Forbes as one of the “100 Greatest Living Business Minds” in 2017. He holds a place on New York Stock Exchange’s “Wall of Innovators” for his role in building the $1 trillion REIT industry. Sam is also the author of Am I Being Too Subtle?: Straight Talk From a Business Rebel. 

This is one not to miss. Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

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#407: Sam Zell — Strategies for High-Stakes Investing, Dealmaking, and Grave Dancing
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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

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Want to hear the last time Peter was on the podcast? — Listen to our conversation here. In that interview, we discuss Centenarian Olympics, goblet squats, metformin for longevity, xenon gas for performance enhancement, archery, tearing phone books in half, and much more. (Stream below or right-click here to download.)

#398: Peter Attia, M.D. — Fasting, Metformin, Athletic Performance, and Morehttps://rss.art19.com/episodes/a2c25d5a-5130-47a0-a746-f2bdcae67dc1.mp3Download

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Equity Group Investments
Am I Being Too Subtle?: Straight Talk From a Business Rebel by Sam Zell
100 Quotes On Business From The 100 Greatest Living Business Minds, Forbes
5 Types of REITs and How to Invest in Them, Investopedia
Kristallnacht, The Holocaust Encyclopedia
The Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact (August 1939), Jewish Virtual Library
The Invasion of Poland (1939), Simple History
36 Hours in Vilnius, Lithuania, The New York Times
Curaçao: The Caribbean Getaway That Sets You Free, Curaçao Tourist Board
Transit Visa Signed by Chiune Sugihara, Facing History and Ourselves
Trans-Siberian Express, The Holocaust Encyclopedia
Discover Vladivostok, Pacific Russia Tourism Alliance
The Bolshoi Theatre
Marshall Field & Company, Chicago, The Department Store Museum
How the Nazi Concentration Camps Worked, The New Yorker
The Effects of the Holocaust on the Children of Survivors, ThoughtCo.
West Toledo Apartment Complex in Midst of $1.8 Million Facelift, The Blade
Law of Supply and Demand, Investopedia
7 Reasons It’s Finally Time to Live in Research Triangle Park, Forbes
Life After Death, Forbes
The Samuel Zell and Robert Lurie Real Estate Center, The Wharton School of The University of Pennsylvania
The Samuel Zell & Robert H. Lurie Institute for Entrepreneurial Studies and Center for Venture Capital and Private Equity, University of Michigan
The Giving Pledge
Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago
Eisenhower Paved the Way for REIT Investors to Enjoy Durable Dividends, Forbes
Sam Zell Talks About the Evolution of REITs, Nareit
Fish in Poker: How Not to Be a Fish at the Tables, Casinos for Money
Savings and Loan Crisis, Investopedia
The 2007-08 Financial Crisis in Review, Investopedia
Housing Bubble, Investopedia
From Cassandra with Love by Samuel Zell, Journal of Applied Corporate Finance
Cassandra — Cursed Prophetess of Greek Mythology, Greek Boston
The Performance of Real Estate as an Asset Class by William Goetzmann and Roger G. Ibbotson, Journal of Applied Corporate Finance
Investors Lose With ‘Hope Notes’, The Wall Street Journal
Canary in a Coal Mine, Bird Note
What is a Leveraged Buyout? Introduction to LBOs, Sell Side Handbook
Real Estate Tycoon Sam Zell Slams WeWork: ‘Every Single Company in This Space Has Gone Broke’, CNBC
Regus
Enron Scandal: The Fall of a Wall Street Darling, Investopedia
Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin
Star Wars
Dotcom Bubble, Investopedia
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon
Genghis Khan to Gucci: Retail Potential in Mongolia, RETalk Asia
Syria Crisis, CNN
Life in Aleppo, Syria (Post War Reconstruction), Drew Binsky
Grasberg Mine, Tembagapura, Indonesia, Atlas Obscura
FAANG Stocks, Investopedia
5 Ways The Fed’s Interest Rate Decisions Impact You, Bankrate
What Happened When China Joined the WTO?, The Council on Foreign Relations
Sam and Helen Zell, Philanthropy Today
Speech on Campus, American Civil Liberties Union
Maybe Not a Role Model for a B-School?, Inside Higher Ed

SHOW NOTES

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Timestamps will be added shortly.   

Sam details the long journey his parents took to escape Poland just hours before the German invasion in 1939 and arrive in Chicago via Russia and Japan by 1941, and how lucky he really was to have been born in the United States.
Taking the risk to leave everything behind by making a choice that history proved to be the right one, did Sam’s father ever articulate to him, in explicit or implicit terms, his decision-making process?
Has Sam always been one to do what he thought was right, no matter how unpopular it might be? Did his family’s close call with extermination factor into his own outlook?
Why did Sam pursue an education, and then a career, in law — and then swiftly abandon it? How did he turn what could have been a huge waste of time into a unique opportunity, and how did this lead to him setting up his own business?
How Sam diverged from his father’s real estate investment strategy to land successful deals in untapped and overlooked markets.
Sam recalls the first real estate deals he made with his father and the level of thought that went into them.
What was the only real takeaway Sam brought out of Econ 101 class in college, and what was his philosophy around purchasing assets that were already capable of deploying yield versus developing assets?
When did Sam start to appreciate the operational side of risk, and how did he manage it?
The variables that can delay a project and teach an unwary developer a very expensive lesson about inflation.
How did Sam meet Jay Pritzker, the man he considers “the smartest risk guy” he ever met — and what did he teach Sam about risk?
Is there an asset class for which these lessons about risk don’t translate?
Where did Sam meet Bob Lurie, and how did they discover the “complementary skill sets but shared values” that made them ideal business partners?
Sam talks about dealing with the shock of Bob’s death from cancer in 1990, and how he and Bob’s wife committed to the philanthropy that would be his posthumous legacy.
What’s a real estate investment trust (REIT), and what is Sam’s role in the creation of what has become a more than one trillion-dollar asset class?
What disaster did Sam foresee as early as 1988 that turned him into a “Cassandra” among real estate investors, and what factors made it seem inevitable?
What made the recession in 2008 different from other financial crises tied to real estate?
Does Sam believe the state of commercial real estate occupancy or glut in supply and demand is a “canary in the coal mine” for the US economy?
What is a leveraged buyout (LBO)?
Why does Sam think of office-sharing firm WeWork as “the Enron of real estate,” and what tipped him off years before anyone else seemed to see it?
Why Sam would never buy a business he couldn’t run, and why it’s important for everybody involved in a business to have some skin in the game.
What’s the secret to Sam’s collection of loyal business collaborators — many of whom have worked with him for 20 to 30 years?
How did Sam facilitate the needs of an employee who decided that she wanted to go to divinity school, and what is she doing today?
Why and when did Sam get in the habit of giving year-end gifts that get remembered, and what’s changed about the process over the years?
A big part of how Sam mitigates risk is to know as much as possible about his world. As a lifelong learner, how does he stay abreast of what’s going on in that world?
According to Sam, a typical CEO of a Fortune 500 company travels 250 hours a year. He travels 1,000, but insists that he doesn’t take what most people would consider vacations. Where does he go, and what motivates him to go there?
What does Sam mean when he says “We suffer from knowing the numbers,” and how does he find a balance between knowing too much and not knowing enough when it comes to business? How would he teach someone to find their own balance?
Now in his 70s, what are Sam’s plans for retirement?
Is Sam optimistic about where the US economy appears to be headed? Does it seem overly interwoven with the fate of China’s economy, or can it prosper with or without China?
How does a first-generation kid like Sam inspire and encourage his kids to excel with the same intensity that his own parents directed at him?
Outside of the day-to-day concerns of the business world, what problem is Sam most interested in solving?

PEOPLE MENTIONED

Bernard and Rochelle Zell
Chiune Sugihara
Perry Mason
Jay Pritzker
Robert Lurie
Ann Lurie
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Paul Fegan
Abraham Lincoln
Bee Gees
Paul Simon
John Grisham
David Baldacci
Helen Zell

Finding the One Decision That Removes 100 Decisions (or, Why I’m Reading No New Books in 2020)

Donald Knuth, a renowned mathematician and recipient of the Turing Award (considered the Nobel Prize of computer science), retired from using email in 1990. 

He issued a public statement on his Stanford faculty page, which I saved to Evernote 1–2 years ago. I think of it often, and my favorite portion is below:

“I have been a happy man ever since January 1, 1990, when I no longer had an email address. I’d used email since about 1975, and it seems to me that 15 years of email is plenty for one lifetime. Email is a wonderful thing for people whose role in life is to be on top of things. But not for me; my role is to be on the bottom of things. What I do takes long hours of studying and uninterruptible concentration.”

I want to make 2020 a year of smarter decisions. 

To make that a reality, I’ve been pondering how much I want to specialize in speed versus finding targets that don’t require speed. That is why I bolded and underlined the above lines in Donald’s post.

Looking back over the last decade, I have made many good fast decisions, but I have nearly never made good rushed decisions. The former can be made from a place of calm, whereas the latter come from a place of turbulence and blurred judgment.

How can we create an environment that fosters better, often non-obvious, decisions?

There are many approaches, no doubt. But I realized a few weeks ago that one of the keys appeared twice in conversations from 2019. It wasn’t until New Year’s Eve that I noticed the pattern.

To paraphrase both Greg McKeown and Jim Collins, here it is: look for single decisions that remove hundreds or thousands of other decisions.

This was one of the most important lessons Jim learned from legendary management theorist Peter Drucker. As Jim recounted on the podcast, “Don’t make a hundred decisions when one will do. . . . Peter believed that you tend to think that you’re making a lot of different decisions. But then, actually, if you kind of strip it away, you can begin to realize that a whole lot of decisions that look like different decisions are really part of the same category of a decision.”

Much like my startup vacation/retirement in 2015, I’m now asking myself across the board: what can I categorically and completely remove, even temporarily, to create space for seeing the bigger picture and finding gems?

To that end, I’m committing to *not* reading any new books in 2020. This means I will not read any books published in 2020.

Here are a few reasons why:

New books, often from recommendations or external pressure, elicit a fear of missing out (FOMO) in me that is both unpleasant and unproductive and that leaves little room for original thought, discovery, or creation.
We don’t have that much time left to read books. Tim Urban’s The Tail End makes this clear. Based on his calculus, he might only read another 300 books before he dies. He and I are roughly the same age, and Tim is a very fast reader. Considering that, taking a year to only read books that have stood the test of time seems worthwhile.   
Each week, dozens of unsolicited books are mailed to me. Here’s an example from one day(!) in 2008, which is perhaps 20% of the current deluge. These books have recently come from publishers like Avery Books and Knopf, among others. I immediately donate all such books to libraries, but it still consumes energy and is a waste of trees. Thanks for permanently removing me from your lists, guys.
I’m not good at moderation. I’m much better with fasting than caloric restriction, for instance. “No dessert” is a lot easier for me than “some dessert.” I thrive with loving constraints: strict, binary rules that remove all deliberation and protect me from my lesser self. 
For years, I’ve had a public policy of not blurbing books. This is to avoid picking and choosing among friends, which is awful. I’ve put this policy on the blog and in my email auto-response, but it’s not visible enough; I am still asked on a weekly basis. Things can and do get uncomfortable. So, I’m publishing this blog post and fixing the problem further upstream: I’m not even reading any new books in 2020.  No “What I’m reading” bullets in the “5-Bullet Friday” newsletter will feature books published in 2020.
I am prone to procrastinating via reading. It’s a socially acceptable form of avoiding things, but let’s make no mistake: reading is often used to avoid things. If I want to write more, for example, it behooves me to dramatically limit the types of books I’m allowed to read.

To quote Bishop Desmond Tutu, “There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.”

Making too many decisions is often symptomatic of poor systems or process. I’m as guilty of this as the next person. In 2019, I made waaaay too many decisions, and it exhausted me.

But guilt can serve as a useful diagnostic tool. As one of my favorite people, Maria Popova, said in our last conversation: “Guilt is the flip side of prestige, and they’re both horrible reasons to do something.”

Here are some questions that have helped me think through all of this:

In my life, where am I making decisions or saying “yes” out of guilt? Can I create a blanket policy that makes it easier for me to say “no”?
In what areas am I making a lot of decisions, or sending a lot of communication? Are they concentrated anywhere? Can I create a blanket policy that makes it easier for other people to make those decisions?
In what areas am I making a lot of decisions, or sending a lot of communication? Are they concentrated anywhere? Can I create a blanket policy that entirely removes the need to make those decisions?

How can you make higher-level decisions? Look further upstream.

Do you want to try to stay on top of things, or do you want to try to get to the bottom of things?

Personally, I’ve vowed to focus on the latter in 2020. No new books is part of that, and there will be more divesting. Much more.

Where have you made single decisions that removed many decisions? Or where could you make single decisions that remove many decisions? Please let me know in the comments, as I’d love to share ideas as a community.

Here’s to making the right de-cisions (as in “cutting away”) . . .

Onward and upward,

Tim

P.S. If you’re interested, this is the last “new” book I’m allowing myself to read. There are two reasons for this particular book: 1) it was sent to me in 2019, and 2) it’s the updated version of an older book that helped me out of a dark place when I needed it most.

Bob Iger — CEO and Chairman of Disney (#406)

As Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of The Walt Disney Company, Robert A. Iger (@RobertIger) is the steward of one of the world’s largest media companies and some of the most respected and beloved brands around the globe. Since becoming CEO in 2005, Iger has built on Disney’s rich history of storytelling and innovation with the acquisitions of Pixar (2006), Marvel (2009), Lucasfilm (2012) and 21st Century Fox (2019), and the landmark opening of Disney’s first theme park and resort in Mainland China, Shanghai Disney Resort in 2016.

Always one to embrace new technology, Iger has created an ambitious direct-to-consumer strategy that leverages Disney’s unparalleled creative content across new platforms, including the new Disney+ streaming service, ESPN+, Hulu, and Hotstar.

He serves on the boards of the National 9/11 Memorial & Museum and Bloomberg Philanthropies. He is a graduate of Ithaca College.

His new autobiography is titled The Ride of a Lifetime: Lessons Learned from 15 Years as CEO of the Walt Disney Company, which offers stories and lessons about dealmaking, leadership, and much more.

Please enjoy! 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Stitcher, Castbox, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Listen onApple Podcasts
Listen onSpotify
Listen onOvercast

#406: Bob Iger — CEO and Chairman of Disney
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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

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Want to hear an episode with someone who also draws inspiration from the words of Teddy Roosevelt? Check out my conversation with LeBron James in which we discuss self-care, self-talk, sleep, wine, workouts, and much more. (Stream below or right-click here to download):

#349: LeBron James and His Top-Secret Trainer, Mike Manciashttps://rss.art19.com/episodes/b97b91ba-c496-46a0-8e2b-08544e9c0f15.mp3Download

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Bob Iger:

The Walt Disney Company | Twitter

The Ride of a Lifetime: Lessons Learned from 15 Years as CEO of the Walt Disney Company by Robert Iger
Pixar
How Pixar saved Steve Jobs and Apple, CNN Business
Disney to Buy Pixar for $7.4 Billion, The New York Times
Bob Iger and Marc Andreessen Bridge Hollywood and Silicon Valley, Vanity Fair
Iron Man 2
ABC’s Wide World of Sports
North Korea’s Behavior At The 1979 Ping Pong Championships Really Said It All, Business Insider
A Herculean Effort: What Led to the 12 Labors of Hercules and How Did He Succeed? Ancient Origins
The Odyssey by Homer
Lucasfilm
Marvel
How to Increase Your Luck Surface Area, Codus Operandi
VersaClimber
Foreign Experts Building, Beijing
Home Slice Pizza, Austin
Paulie Gee’s, F&F Pizzeria, and New York City’s Slice Renaissance, The New Yorker
Norm’s Pizza, Brooklyn
Paulie Gee’s Slice Shop, Brooklyn
Eater Austin
DeSano Pizza, Austin
Little Deli & Pizzeria, Austin
Pinthouse Pizza, Austin
Tony C’s Coal-Fired Pizza, Austin
Picnik, Austin
Disney CEO Robert Iger Visits Penn for Authors@Wharton Speaker Series, The Daily Pennsylvanian
Bipolar Disorder Symptoms and Causes, The Mayo Clinic
The Slow-Burning Success of Disney’s Bob Iger, The New York Times
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life by Richard Carlson
What Happened at Gallipoli? The Guardian
From Russia with Love by Ian Fleming
Goldfinger by Ian Fleming
The Spy Who Loved Me by Ian Fleming
You Only Live Twice by Ian Fleming

SHOW NOTES

Bob talks about the whiteboard meeting he had with Steve Jobs laying out the pros and seemingly insurmountable cons of Disney’s potential purchase of Pixar, and his impression of what was really going on in Steve’s mind at the time. [08:02]
Steve used to call Bob regularly on weekends. In addition to scathing movie critiques, what did these two titans of industry tend to talk about? [16:24]
Who was Roone Arledge, and what did he teach Bob about long shots? [19:39]
How — and from whom — did Bob learn to navigate the impossible and make deals that, at first glance, seem like herculean tasks — like securing the rights for ABC to cover the 1979 World Table Tennis Championships in North Korea at a time when no Western press had been permitted to visit since before the Korean War? [23:52]
With over four decades of education in the business, what separates a good negotiator from a great negotiator in Bob’s estimation? [26:54]
How does Bob communicate with others in his organization when a deal they may be emotionally invested in doesn’t get made? [29:46]
As someone with a reputation for taking risks, what was Bob’s early exposure to risk-taking like? [31:24]
How being deemed “unpromotable” by a terrible boss led to the opportunities and contacts that really set Bob’s career in motion. [32:59]
On maximizing luck surface area (a term coined by Jason Roberts) and the three reasons exercise has played such an important role in Bob’s life. [37:59]
What does Bob’s exercise regimen look like? [41:46]
Bob and I share a few of our experiences in China during the ’90s. [44:28]
As Bob likes to exercise solo most of the time as a form of meditation, what role does his personal trainer play on the days he visits, and how often does this happen? [46:42]
While Bob usually abstains from bread or pasta, he allows himself to indulge in pizza once or twice a month. Does he have any preferences or favorite places to get it? How does he save recommendations so he can remember to try new places later? What he indulges, what’s his limit? One slice or one dozen? [47:47]
From an interview they did together recently, Adam Grant says Bob prepares more than most CEOs for meeting new people. What is Bob’s prep process for first meetings? [52:27]
As someone who believes that leaders should exhibit optimism because “nobody wants to follow Eeyore,” how does Bob do his best to cultivate this quality in his own kids? [55:22]
A challenging time in Bob’s career and how he navigated his way through it. [58:25]
Bob shares the adversity he faced as a child with a father who was suffering from severe manic depression. [1:02:15]
Growing up around his father’s frequently tempestuous — and unpredictable — outbursts, what is Bob’s relationship with anger like now? [1:04:58]
Bob recalls a time when little things would set off his temper, but he’s since gained more control over this kind of anger. What changed to make this possible? [1:07:01]
“There’s a cruelty to growing old in a way because the end is near, but there’s also a lot of value in growing old.” [1:10:11]
Aside from optimism, what are some of the more important lessons and character traits Bob hopes to instill in his kids, and how are they taught? [1:11:33]
Lessons or stories that Bob wishes people would pay more attention to. [1:15:08]
On knowing how to identify opportunity and take it when it comes. [1:17:26]
Leaders, philosophies, and books that Bob has leaned on to help him stay the course and walk through these doors of opportunity. [1:19:42]
A memorable Teddy Roosevelt quote by which to live. [1:23:58]
Parting thoughts. [1:26:09]

PEOPLE MENTIONED

Steve Jobs
Kara Swisher
Marc Andreessen
Reed Jobs
Roone Arledge
Hercules
Michael Eisner
Jim Spence
George Lucas
Ike Perlmutter
Frank Sinatra
Jason Roberts
Adam Grant
Tim Geithner
Eeyore
Ken Burns
Willow Bay
Marcus Aurelius
Winston Churchill
Babe Ruth
Ian Fleming
James Bond
Teddy Roosevelt
LeBron James