Jeff Strand's Blog, page 87
February 16, 2013
Zoom! Zoom!
So I recently watched the movie Unstoppable, where Denzel Washington has to stop an out-of-control train. It’s a very good movie, but I was distracted by all of these quick little zooms. Not dramatic zooms into Denzel’s face as he says “Unstoppable? I don’t think so!” [Not actual movie quote] but constant quick little zooms in and out, as if the cameraman didn’t quite have the shot he wanted.
It happened so often, and for no conceivable artistic reason, that I thought maybe my TV was trying to auto-correct the aspect ratio or something. I kept messing with the settings, and, nope, constant tiny zooms. Weird.
After that I watched Jeff, Who Lives At Home. Same frickin’ thing! Constant distracting mini-zooms. A charming little movie, but watching it reminded me of the annoyance level of a VHS tape where you could never quite get the tracking perfect. Clearly, I was going to have to figure out a way to fix this, or get a new TV.
Then I read reviews of both movies…which criticize the filmmakers for the constant mini-zooms. Roger Ebert’s review of Jeff, Who Lives at Home says:
“One stylistic note: In nearly every scene, the Duplass brothers use quick little zooms in and out….They’re good directors. They’ll outgrow this.”
The moral of the story? If you watch Unstoppable and Jeff, Who Lives at Home back-to-back, you might think your TV is broken.
February 15, 2013
Welcome to Gleefully Macabre!
Welcome to my website! Whether you were brought here by interest in my work or a Google search gone terribly wrong, I encourage you to hang around and start clicking away!
My new novella, Stalking You Now, is now available for your Kindle or Kindle app (other digital editions forthcoming) from DarkFuse. Grab yourself a copy from Amazon.
My second short story collection, Dead Clown Barbecue, is available for pre-order in snazzy deluxe limited and lettered hardcover editions for you collector types. Get it from Dark Regions Press.
My young adult comedy, A Bad Day For Voodoo, is now available at a bookstore near you from Sourcebooks, or online in e-book and paperback editions!
And my novels Pressure and Dweller have both returned in shiny new digital editions, for a scant $2.99 each!
Finally, all four novels in the Andrew Mayhem series are available in a $7.99 digital box set, with a brand-new foreword by James A. Moore!
(P.S.: People who leave reviews on Amazon deserve great big hugs!)
Friend me on Facebook ! Follow me on Twitter ! Like my Facebook Fan Page! Friend me on Goodreads!
Stalking You Now
Okay, so remember when I did that whole post about February 28th being SYN day? My bad. Stalking You Now is already available for your Kindle or Kindle app (other digital formats to follow). Please buy a copy for yourself and anybody you’re currently stalking.
Actually, don’t do that. That would be creepy. Only purchase Stalking You Now for approved friends and family members. Thank you.
Get your copy right HERE.
February 12, 2013
February 26th is SYN Day!!!
…and your Kindle/Nook/iPad/whatever will never be the same!!!
February 6, 2013
Bye-Bye, Iron
Yes, Monopoly will be replacing the iron with…a cat! I know that you probably don’t believe much of what I post here, so here’s a link to CNN:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/06/living/monopoly-new-token/index.html?hpt=hp_bn1
Of course, this makes part of my short story “The Car” (upcoming in the anthology High Stakes) outdated. But that’s okay, because the story is still a cutting-edge, ripped-from-the-headlines glimpse into the world of fighting over which Monopoly piece you get to be.
In fact, I may be psychic. Check out this excerpt:
“What about the iron?”
“Do you know anybody who has ever wanted to play as the iron?”
“Certainly somebody wants to be the iron, or they would have discontinued it.”
Suck it, George Orwell!!!
February 4, 2013
Snow Shaaaaaaaaark!!!
The latest episode of Dread Media (#284) (Whoa! 284 episodes!) is now live, with me making a return visit as a guest reviewer. This time, host Desmond Reddick and I review Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast. This film was produced by our mutual friend Gregory Lamberson, but that doesn’t mean we don’t make fun of it.
You can subscribe to Dread Media on iTunes (it’s absolutely free, of course), or listen at http://www.dreadmedia.net. And you can get your very own copy of Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast right HERE.
February 2, 2013
Groundhog Day
Jeez, Groundhog Day is much less fun now that Punxsutawney Phil just emerges from his burrow and delivers a stern lecture about global warming.
January 29, 2013
The Andrew Mayhem Four-Book E-Bundle!
Have you always wanted to read the Andrew Mayhem series, but you were turned off by the fact that you had to buy FOUR separate books? That’s for squares!
Well, now you can get all of Andrew Mayhem novels in one convenient e-book for the low, low price of $7.99! That’s like getting one book and two-thirds of another one for free! If it were in print, Amazon says it would be 807 pages! Jeepers!
Yes, it includes Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), and Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once), and, holy crap, even Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to “Shirley”)!
And it also includes a foreword by the big huggable teddy bear James A. Moore! That’s right, if you’re a James A. Moore collector, there is a HUGE gap in your collection without this.
Order it right here, kids: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B6CPBPK
January 24, 2013
‘Zine Talk!
Over at Snakebite Horror, there’s a review of Splatterpunk #2 by Nathan Robinson that says my story “Fair Trade” was “instantly my favourite read of the year, accomplishing more tension in three pages than some authors do in entire novels.” You hear that, some authors? Suck it!!!
Much more important than the sweet comment about “Fair Trade” is the interview with Splatterpunk head honcho Jack Bantry. If you miss the glory days of ‘zines, check out the interview here:
http://snakebitehorror.weebly.com/9/post/2013/01/nathan-talks-splatter-punk-with-jack-bantry.html
January 23, 2013
Be Kind To Our Six-Legged Friends
So yesterday I got this free Kindle book about a couple of ferocious dogs who terrorize people in a cabin. I haven’t read it yet, but I did get a kick out of the author’s foreword, which talks about the impact of JAWS on people’s opinion of sharks, and expresses concern that people might read his book and then mistreat dogs. The foreword is basically a reminder that the book is just fiction. Do NOT go out and kick a dog because you’ve been so deeply affected by this novel.
Oh, sure, some of you might get a chuckle from the author having such a high opinion of his book’s ability to traumatize readers. Me? I’m thinking “Oh no! What if Mandibles has caused readers to kick down ant hills?” Mandibles came out almost ten years ago. How many ants have lost their lives as a result of the power of my storytelling?
Yes, ants suck. Especially fire ants. But that does NOT mean that it’s okay to go around kicking down their homes, just because my book gave you the heebie-jeebies. Nor is it acceptable to do the whole “magnifying glass in the sunlight” trick, or to pour gasoline down there, or any of those things. Mandibles is just a book. I know it feels real, and that it causes you to swat imaginary ants off your legs, but please, don’t go on wild insane ant-murdering sprees. That’s how people become serial killers.
Okay, look, if you’re outside and an ant crawls on your arm, it’s okay to squish it. I’m not saying that ants are a protected species. All I’m asking you to do is to resist the temptation to read Mandibles and then seek bloody vengeance against their kind. That’s all.
Are we cool? Good.
