Moe Lane's Blog, page 839
November 5, 2020
Tweet of the Day, Excuse Me, But I Thought This Was AMERICA edition.
(H/T: @BrianFaughnan) If they don’t come to some kind of accommodation here, then what is this guy even paying taxes for, anyway?
Man banned from Yellowstone for trying to fry chickens in hot spring https://t.co/XYFbQPs9jF pic.twitter.com/6N7BsG41vO
— New York Post (@nypost) November 5, 2020
Read the article, and you’ll see: there is apparently an ongoing demand for geothermal-fried chicken. Yellowstone should rethink its strategy. Perhaps one of the smaller vents could be repurposed for local-retail use? I imagine that it’d be a hit with tourists, and then everybody can stay safe.
Moe Lane
PS: Dagnabbit, now I want fried chicken for lunch.
November 4, 2020
Item Seed: The Grimoire Basement Tapes, 1967-1972
The Grimoire Basement Tapes, 1967-1972
Description: a double-thickness jewel case containing five CDs. The CDs are labeled 1 through 5, but have no other identification. The jewel case is light green, with the title “The Grimoire Basement Tapes, 1967-1972” on the front. No other information about the CDs are available. The jewel case and CDs positively radiate supernatural power, to the point where it is noticeable for even non-magical entities.
Effects: each CD features thirty minutes of odd, strangely complex music that incorporates both classic and modern musical instruments, plus extensive vocals in no easily recognizable language. It became clear, very quickly, that listening to each CD all the way through gave a temporary ability to the listener (only one at a time, and the choice is apparently random).
Cautious experimentation has determined the following:
Listening to CD #1 gives a magical practitioner the temporary ability to transfer illness and injury from one living thing to another. Regular listening improves the healing process in terms of severity and speed, but also makes the practitioner ever hungrier. One poor soul eventually ate herself to death.Listening to CD #2 gives resistance to fire damage, while taking more harm from water-based attacks. One regular listener got to the point where he could stand in a blast furnace without harm – and had to, because without that heat, he would have been poisoned by his own blood.Listening to CD #3 gives the ability to teleport (up to twenty feet away). The more someone listens, the easier it is for them to teleport; regular use will get the practitioner to the point where any sudden surprise will trigger a teleportation incident.Listening to CD #4 teaches the universal language, the one spoken by every person. Regular use seems to do nothing, although there is no record that anyone has ever actually abused the use of CD #4 to the extent that has been done to the other CDs.Listening to CD #5 allows the listener to steal other people’s luck. Both good, and bad. By unspoken agreement, this CD is generally not experimented with much.
Naturally, Those In The Know would love to know where this artifact came from, who made it, and what other occult time bombs besides the obvious ones are hidden inside of it. That’s why they still experiment with the Grimoire Tapes. Or, rather, have other people experiment with them. After all, one does not become Those In The Know by taking stupid chances.
11/04/20 Update, TALES FROM THE FERMI RESOLUTION Kickstarter.
Halfway to go on the Kickstarter! …Not much else to say, honestly. Hopefully we’ll see some traction on the last week. Even if we don’t, it’s still a success. If I was doing it over, I might have done TALES FROM THE FERMI RESOLUTION as a two-week Kickstarter. Or waited a bit more. Well, that’s why they call it a learning experience.
The PROSPECT Netflix trailer.
I first noticed PROSPECT in the long-ago time of 2018, when we had these things called mo-vie the-a-ters where one might watch self-contained cinematic stories projected on a giant screen. Alas, those innocent days are gone now. Lost forever, like tears in rain.
But at least it’s now on Netflix.
Via GeekTyrant.
Day 4, TINSEL RAIN NaNoWriMo: 10903/60000.
Well, it was a busy day, wasn’t it? Had to get up to get the car over to the shop, then run around getting the kids squared away on their homework before their dental appointments. Then after that we had to go back to the homework, and it took me forever to get 2,000 words in.
Still did, though. Which is good, because I got a newsletter to finish.
Patreon!We found a sixth zombie the same place we found Igor the coroner’s assistant: in the slab room, with Igor holding back the zombie with one of those circular high chairs. He looked unbitten, the bastard, and actually beamed when he saw us. “Oh, hi, Shamus! Could you take care of this?”
I glowered at him. “Fine,” I muttered and did my lay-down trick again. It took a full ten seconds at this point; I might need to do some lying down, myself. As I said before, this isn’t my best skill.
But Igor didn’t seem to mind. He put down the chair and started massaging his shoulder, ruefully. “Thanks,” he said. “They just all up and animated, all at once. If I wasn’t in that space between the cabinets they would have swarmed me – hey, are you hurt?”
“It’s fine,” I replied. “I cleaned out the wound.” I looked down; yeah, it was knitting up nicely, no sign of infection. “I’ll be all right. What the hell, Igor?”
On pre-order: Jim Geraghty’s HUNTING FOUR HORSEMEN.
Jim’s an old friend from the Time Before and he writes books, too! HUNTING FOUR HORSEMEN is his latest technothriller and while I’m sure he’d happily cough up an author’s copy, why should I deny him that heady pleasure of a sale? Anyway, it’s a sequel to BETWEEN TWO SCORPIONS, which I read, and found nifty. Feel free to check them out.
November 3, 2020
The WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLOATE FACTORY Pitch Meeting.
I forgot to put this up. It gets weird a bit in. Just like WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.
11/03/20 Update, TALES FROM THE FERMI RESOLUTION Kickstarter.
Quiet day for the TALES FROM THE FERMI RESOLUTION Kickstarter, although I sold a couple of books. I’m getting the impression something else is going on right now, or something. Ach, well. The important thing is to keep on keeping on.
