Moe Lane's Blog, page 690
July 28, 2021
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Tweet of the Day, Khajiit Is Innocent Of This Crime* edition.
I always take the position that wild animals need to maintain a solid respect and fear of the talking monkeys; but that’s a two-way street, friends. For all the jaguar knew, this guy was trying to get bit. Hell, now I’m wondering, too. There’s some really strange fetishes out there these days, is all I’m saying…
"…jumped over a safety barrier and stuck his arm into an enclosure…"
— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) July 29, 2021
"…egged on the big cats before he hopped over a gate and into the 'Range of the Jaguar' exhibit…"
“This is an individual that wasn’t using his head,” deputy zoo director said…
Grade A content. https://t.co/Y1J9FngwFD
*Yeah, playing Skyrim again. It’s relaxing.
07/28/21 Snippet, THE DEFENSE OF WINDERMERE CASTLE.
Adventuring!
Patreon!“Hinges on the inside, too,” observed Jimmy. “Can’t pop them off from here. We could find a bar of iron, maybe? Shove it through the crack at the bottom, strain the hinges that way.
Witherby bent down. “No. There’s not even enough of a crack to slip a blade through. I don’t suppose you can do anything arcane to it, your Grace?”
“Let me think, gentlemen… yes, indeed. There is an ancient ritual I might use. Ancient, and powerful. But I will need room to work.”
The two men hastily stepped back; it was not wise to crowd an arcanist while she was in a working. Carlotta reached into her bag and pulled out an short iron pipe with crosshilt. She carefully adjusted it in her hand, and — started banging heavily on the door. “Oy!” she shouted, over the hammering. “There’s people out here, right?”
She stopped after a good fifteen seconds of banging, listened for a moment, and nodded. Carlotta looked over at Jimmy and Witherby, now giving her identical shocked looks. “Oy?” Witherby finally managed.
Carlotta smiled. “I said it was an ancient ritual, did I not? You must use the words as you have learned them.” There was a muffled thud behind her, and then a creak as the door began to open. “And look, gentlemen: the ritual succeeded.”
They’re bringing back Gawker. No: they’re *pleased* to bring back Gawker.
As I said myself, this is the Movimento Sociale Italiano phase of the Gawker life-cycle.
To summarize: I wish the New Gawker luck with a capital "F."
— Jeff B. tried to do his best, but he could not (@EsotericCD) July 28, 2021
Fortunately, necromancy* doesn’t work. The best they can hope for is a lot of galvanized, spastic flailing going on until the dead nerves finally get extra-crispy. Which is actually fine by me: it’s not my money they’re throwing away and and least it stimulates the economy.
Moe Lane
*I had a much better comment in mind, but I’m better than that.
DUST Short Film: 2 Bullet Solution.
(Via Geeks Are Sexy) This is a nicely done, quick-kinetic martial-arts sequence…
[SPOILERS]
…but next time, shoot the lock off the door. Or block the cyanide gas sprayer. Yes, yes: then there wouldn’t be any quick-kinetic martial-arts sequences. But still.
July 27, 2021
Witness the epitome of Western Civilization: the Hasbro Transformers Generations Ghostbusters 2019 Heroic Autobot Ecto-1 Ectotron Figure.
I WOULD HAVE FLIPPED OFF A NUN TO HER FACE IN ORDER TO GET THIS TOY:
That is all.
The SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY Honest Trailer.
Entertainingly vicious. And I appreciate how Honest Trailers watched SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY so that I wouldn’t have to. That’s always nice.
Chipleggers of the Pacific Coast!
This is sooooooo close to the Line.
For the time being, Dell is no longer shipping certain Alienware Aurora R12 and R10 gaming PC configurations to half a dozen US states because those product lines potentially fall out of bounds of newly adopted energy efficiency requirements.
When attempting to configure one of those systems, a warning message appears in bold red lettering to alert buyers that their order will not be honored if the destination resides in one of the affected states. This was first spotted by Marie Oakes, an independent content creator who highlighted the disclaimer on Twitter.
“This product cannot be shipped to the states of California, Colorado, Hawaii, Oregon, Vermont, or Washington due to power consumption regulations adopted by those states. Any orders placed that are bound for those states will be canceled,” the message states.
…Looking at the map, I would hypothetically pick Idaho over Nevada if I do end up writing a science fiction story extrapolating a future scenario involving Pacific chiplegging runs. Eastern Oregon and Washington State would have more checkpoints to cover, and local officials would theoretically have better things to do than to pull over every big rig to look for superhot processors. Particularly if, say, the tax stamps in this imaginary thought experiment were reflective of the fair market value of what are perfectly-legal components in more civilized parts of the United States of America.
Course, that would allegedly mean a higher mark-up for product making its way to California (Hawaii would simply be hosed, sure and entire), but that would just be an excuse for conflict in the latter part of the aforementioned (and strictly potential) science fiction short story. I hardly also need to note that I do not endorse the transportation of unlawful substances across state lines, and that this should not be taken as any sort of encouragement to do so. I am merely workshopping a possible new story, tentatively called “Poor Honest Men:”
I do so love Kipling: don’t you?
