Moe Lane's Blog, page 688
August 1, 2021
Pantera [The Day After Ragnarok]
Pantera
You can call him Jimmy, if you find the name ridiculous. He does, but it’s the price of doing business.
And what is the business? Revenge. Pantera, or Jimmy, or Lt. Colonel if you’re somewhere the enemy can’t hear you, was having a rather nice little war for himself until the Jerries decided to summon a giant snake and destroy both the United Kingdom and the USA — oh, and Nazi Germany in the process. But that last one doesn’t count, since the damned fumble-fingered fools did it by accident; and then the survivors decided to go run off to South America, and hide there. Perhaps they heard of a giant bloody ocelot that used to do Huitzilopochtli’s bidding, or some rot like that? No doubt it’ll come screaming through the bloody jungle any day now, and try to eat Lima.
Well. Since ‘Pantera’ found himself at a bit of loose ends after the Serpentfall, what with him being on the wrong bloody side of it and having no interest in making cowboy movies for Stalin, he thought a South American working vacation would be just the thing. He finds Buenos Aires quite congenial, playing cheerfully dissolute and washed-up film star by day, and mysterious jewel thief by night. The worst of the Nazi refugees took their wealth with them in crystalline form, you see. And when Pantera is done with them, they won’t be needing gemstones anyway. Rocks in the pockets will do, when it comes to tossing the bodies in the sea.
Alas, a minor complication has arisen. MI-5 caught up with Pantera recently: while they understood why he took the initiative to start robbing and, ah, resolving the status of problematic Nazis, they’d much prefer it if he was under some sort of — oh, not supervision. Perish the thought. But at least contact. The Gaullist faction of France is sending their own operative to Argentina to track down what stolen French artworks managed to survive, well, everything. It would be quite the thing if Pantera were to coordinate with this Inspector Vendeurs of theirs. In the spirit of cooperation, and all that.
Pantera takes some comfort in the thought that at least the French won’t be sending anyone actually incompetent, at least…
Agility d8, Smarts d8, Spirit d8, Strength d6, Vigor d6
Climbing d6, Driving d4, Fighting d6, Healing d4, Intimidation d4, Investigation d6, Knowledge (Movies) d6, Lockpicking d6, Notice d6, Persuasion d6, Shooting d6, Streetwise d6, Stealth d8, Survival d4, Taunt d6
Charisma +6, Pace 6, Parry 5, Toughness 5
Edges: Assassin, Charismatic, Hard to Kill, Harder to Kill, Thief, Very Attractive
Hindrances: Code of Honor
Languages: English, French, German, Spanish
Patreon Microfiction: Don’t Care About Credit.
It’s amazing what you can do when you Don’t Care About Credit. But you already know that, of course. Don’t know why I’m even pointing it out, really.
Patreon!July 31, 2021
Today is THE LAST NIGHT for the July Patreon Pledge Drive.
Admittedly, you can sign up tomorro– NO! Always Be Closing, Moe! Always Be Closing!
Anyway: for a mere buck a month you can get fiction and gaming stuff on the regular. It’s a bargain! So check it out.
Huh. I actually have more than one movie that I want to see on Monday.
THE GREEN KNIGHT and JUNGLE CRUISE – and if that doesn’t illustrate how weird my tastes in films are, I don’t know what would. Admittedly, I heard that JUNGLE CRUISE was actually too good to miss (and that THE GREEN KNIGHT was doing about as well as you’d expect a tonally accurate look at the Gawaine legend to do), so my schedule has been altered. But I have options! That’s nice.
Don’t know which one to watch first, though. Probably THE GREEN KNIGHT; the other one’s likely to hang around for a while.
Book of the Week: Fade.
I picked up Fade: A Wizard Private Investigator Novel by Daniel Humphreys recently. Just what it says on the tin, but it’s written well and I’m enjoying it so far. Check it out!
The July Patreon rewards are up!
Today’s the trifecta: microfiction, gaming material, and a new short story! Sign up today! Only a dollar a month!
THE RELIEF OF WINDERMERE CASTLE. Kind of gothpunk! Is that a term? It is now!MONSTER WAR DOOM, PART II: MONSTERS (THE ELDEST). You’ll feel bad for them! Maybe! They’re monsters, right?THE WAY TO THE DEVIL’S HEART. Microfiction! The Devil! Unexpected social awkwardness!
Patreon!July 30, 2021
Not the best month, to be honest.
Nothing really horrible, but lots of external stress and the short story launch frankly flopped. Well, relatively[*]. Between the Kickstarter and what sales there were, I was able to pay for it and some more stuff later in the year, but this has not been a great summer for selling books.
Welp. August in a few days. A new month ahead: Excelsior!
Moe Lane
[*Okay, fine, not at all.]
Scarlet Johansson is gonna sue the shorts off of of Disney…
…and I’m not finding it hard to pick a side at all. I mean, the Mouse is never gonna offer me a book contract: but it still behooves me to be against companies casually breaching them*. And, amusingly, Johansson has a net worth of over 100 million — she’s apparently been involved in at least one blockbuster movie series — so Disney’s usual tactic of overlawyering her just ain’t gonna fly. This should be real interesting, and I wonder whether they’re going to try to settle fast.
I wouldn’t… because I wouldn’t have gotten into this mess in the first place. Jesus, just pay people. It’s not a hard strategy to comprehend.
Moe Lane
*As somebody put it: I don’t care if Johansson wins, but I do need for Disney to lose.
