Moe Lane's Blog, page 684
September 15, 2021
Had to spend some time thinking about the new story.
I know where it’s going to end up; but I think that 8K words is barely enough time to deal with the monster in front of our hero — what’s that? Yes. Of course there’s a monster. Obviously. I’m not calling it ETERNAL NIGHT OF THE MOON-BEASTS because it’s a cowboy-nurse romance story*.
Anyway, spent time thinking about how to make this scene a real short story instead of, well, just a scene.
Moe Lane
*Do those exist? …Well, they probably do now. You’re welcome?
I’ll be doing a panel of some kind at @FrightReads!
They asked for authors to sign up for some slots to talk about their books; I am — oddly enough! — an author now*; so I will be blathering on for a half hour about my stuff. This would be on October 2nd, at the Fright Reads book fair in Severna Park, Maryland. If you can’t make it or can’t wait, buy my books now!
*It’d be nice if there was some kind of pin, honestly. Even a 10% off at the Staples frequent-publishing card.
Group Seed: Business Agency Delivering Great Educational Resources (BADGER).
Business Agency Delivering Great Educational Resources (BADGER)
Logo: A snarling badger, one paw raised as if to strike. The badger wears a generic jumpsuit and a tactical earpiece/HUD display.
…They came up with the name and the logo first, then found a backwards acronym generator afterward. And, yes: even supervillain companies use those. Ain’t computer technology grand?
BADGER would object to being called a ‘supervillain company,’ though. True, they teach people how to be minions, henchmen, and even lieutenants for villains. So noted. But they don’t actually break any laws. Or, at least, no more laws than the average person or company does. It’s not illegal per se to learn things, at least in free countries, and BADGER’s curriculum doesn’t offer courses like Fear Gas 101 or Advanced Demon Summoning.
So, what does BADGER teach? The basics: general mechanics, firearms safety, first aid, tactical driving, bodyguarding, situational analysis, locksmithing, electronic security, social engineering, vehicle operation and maintenance, HVAC repair, computer engineering, wilderness survival, and so forth. Nobody takes all the classes: the company has a half-dozen ‘certifications,’ each of which typically require that the student pass several related courses. BADGER doesn’t have a campus, exactly: whenever possible, it rents generic commercial space on a long-term lease. In marked contrast with most educational facilities, BADGER’s textbooks are cheap, selected for their availability. The curriculum does not qualify for student loans.
Obviously, the precise relationship between the company and law enforcement is complicated. The company doesn’t cut financial or legal corners; every one of BADGER’s classes is equivalent to its mainstream equivalent. It also avoids being too confrontational. For example, there are no courses teaching marksmanship or combat classes, because they get hassled enough for the courses they do teach. At the end of the day, BADGER runs for-profit educational services in a very specialized field, and it acts like it.
It’s just that BADGER doesn’t ask questions about how its fees are getting paid. Everybody ‘knows’ that their students hope to go work with a supervillain after they get certified, or possibly end up at a shadowy group with no name (there is one certification that looks tailor-made for an entry-level clerical position with the Men in Black). But the company’s own business practices are perfectly innocuous, and even staid. The corporate attitude is that flamboyant behaviors and intricate plotting are things that their students’ (alleged) future employers do. What they do is obey the law. And there’s nothing illegal about teaching a legal skill.
On that note… BADGER has excellent lawyers. The kind who fight like their corporate mascot, in fact; they’re not aggressive, but they’re as territorial as Hell. Don’t go after the company via the legal system unless you like being in courtrooms for the next five years, because the opposing counsel absolutely loves doing that, and thinks it’s all a grand bit of fun.
The Spielberg WEST SIDE STORY trailer.
It’s not… terrible? If you like WEST SIDE STORY in general, that is. I never thought it was all that great, honestly. A couple of the songs weren’t bad, though.
Also, it’s been sixty years since the last one, so it’s fair game for a remake. Not sure why Spielberg’s eager to do one; this is the sort of thing you’d do as the cinematic equivalent of a masterwork, except that Steven Blooming Spielberg already did one of those with SCHINDLER’S LIST. I dunno. Maybe he just likes WSS more than I do.
…Dear God. TRIPLETS just might be stupid enough to work.
I mean. Everything about TRIPLETS is dumb: the concept, the conceit, the fact that both of the original leads from TWINS are old now, the fact that they couldn’t get Eddie Murphy… everything.
The film’s sequel, titled Triplets, will reportedly enlist the help of Tracy Morgan to play a third and long list sibling of both Schwarzenegger and DeVito. The script for the film will be written by Dylan Dawson & Lucas Kavner, with production scheduled to begin in January in Boston. The film was initially supposed to star Eddie Murphy, but Reitman mentioned that following his recent success with Coming 2 America, he was too busy to join the film.
The dumbness, it all combines. It feeds on itself. It grows fat with power. TRIPLETS might actually Not Suck, out of sheer spite directed at the uncaring universe that cursed this film with existence.
Well. Probably not. But I’m not even mad, and only a little morbidly curious to see how far this project gets before it violently loses structural integrity. Hopefully, it won’t be until it can paint a theater screen or two.
September 14, 2021
09/14/21 Snippet, ETERNAL NIGHT OF THE MOON-BEASTS.
Patreon!The drone’s radar sensors did nothing to help the mood, either. It was barely able to show outlines, which at least kept Tobias from crashing into the sides; but the deeper the drone got, the worse the shaft seemed. It was… off-kilter, like parts of it had been pushed out of line, but not all at once. And at the bottom was rubble, tumbled and settled. The drone carried a radar sophisticated enough to pick up anything man-sized or larger (in happier times, it had been used for moonquake emergency response calls), and as it drew closer to the bottom automated request were made to Tobias to start scanning for biological material.
He was hesitant to let it — the radar sweeps weren’t triggering a response (And just what’s supposed to be responding? asked a voice in his head), but Tobias felt an instinctive reluctance to try anything more intrusive — when he realized that there was another issue. The drone was starting to react sluggishly, like it was getting caught up on something. Only slightly at the moment, but it was definitely reacting.
The ‘Useful to Mine’ SNAKE EYES Honest Trailer.
I had no interest in seeing SNAKE EYES before, and I have none now.
However, the following movies (all of which were mentioned by Honest Trailers) sound interesting:
Warrior (2019)The Raid: Redemption (2011)The Night Comes for Us (2018)Cobra Vs. Ninja…which is itself a judgement on SNAKE EYES, huh?
RIP, Norm MacDonald.
Far too young. My prayers and condolences for his family and loved ones.
BREAKING: Norm MacDonald has died "after a long and private battle with cancer"
— Deadline Hollywood (@DEADLINE) September 14, 2021
The influential comedian and former 'SNL' Weekend Update anchor was 61 https://t.co/wSbwGQ8Syp
Surprisingly*, COPS to be revived.
The new/old COPS is going be on streaming:
Fox Nation intends to launch a 33rd season of the show on October 1, when it will unveil four new episodes. Plans call for Fox Nation to drop a new episode of the series weekly on Friday nights. The streaming outlet will also show 15 episodes from the show’s 32nd season. As part of the launch, Fox Nation will offer a free one-year subscription to police, firefighters and emergency responders.
I’m going to skip over lightly The Stuff We Don’t Talk About Here and just point out that any show that has been on long enough to be eligible to run for the US Senate will likely have a fan base of some heft to it. Also: geez, but I’m old. Enough to remember this:
Yeah, COPS was coming back.
Moe Lane
*Not really.
