Steven Barnes's Blog, page 14

That’s How Boys Play

I want to be a little oblique about this.  Back in my 20’s I was in a martial arts school that produced many champions. And none of them were more impressive to me than someone I’ll call “Ted.”  Ted had distance, timing, and precision down to a level where he slid in and out of critical distance range like a magician. Man, he was beyond good.

 

I wasn’t even vaguely in his league.  We re-connected years later, when our mutual instructor was being honored, and got together a few times. The man...

On one thread, the discussion swung around to those who f...

On one thread, the discussion swung around to those who feel that most human beings are stupid and venal.  The following conversation ensued:

 

I said:  “Just on general principle, I automatically assume that people who look down on the mass of humanity are really telling us their negative feelings about themselves.”

 

“Z”, the lady hosting the thread, replied:  “I was trying to avoid that. I have an awful lot of negative feelings about myself, and yet on the whole I look on humanity as mostl...

Success and “Fuzzy” Thinking

I recently had a conversation with someone who has struggled with an issue (which I am deliberately obscuring).  She (call her “Tammy”) considers herself an exceptionally smart person (and brags about this frequently) which made the following exchange odd.   (Note: Tammy makes an extremely low income)

 

S: “Making more money is an important step in healing your finances.”

T: “Making more money doesn’t work.  Look at this article proving that making more money doesn’t decrease the amount of de...

The Power Is In The Process

A fine writer was recently complaining about a book he’d finished that was heavily criticized by an editor. Major revisions were requested, and he didn’t know whether to make them, or self-publish, or even give up his career.

 

There was real despair and discouragement there, and this is someone who has published over a dozen pieces of work, not a “Newbie.”   My suggestion was to remember that all writers, all experts in any field have failures, and also that a single editor’s opinion is NOT...

Why and how I have faith in Equality

One of my core beliefs is that the question of human equality between groups is ultimately faith-based: that you cannot perform the necessary experiments to really test the hypothesis. So that what is happening is people FEEL a reality then accept or reject information in alignment with what they wanted to believe in the first place.   It might be unconscious, but it is there.

 

One evidence: unless they are deeply depressive, almost no one believes their own group is the inferior one.  It is...

What are you offering the world?

I’ve mentioned that my friend Otis was homeless at one time, and living in an abandoned apartment behind my house.  He was lonely, and I remember one day he rather miserably said:

“I don’t understand why I can’t get a girlfriend.”

Such grief in his voice.  I said, “well, tell me what it is you feel you have to offer a woman.”

“I’m loyal, and honest, and warm. I listen, I’m supportive, and kind.”

I didn’t want to hurt him, but the words just tumbled out:  “she can get all of that from one of h...

The Power of the Enneagram

Some twenty-five years ago, studying Transcultural Shamanism with Mushtaq Ali Al Ansari, I was introduced to the mystic symbol called the “Enneagram”.   I was fascinated by its endless uses and the power to diagram complex and sometimes invisible processes, and puzzled that of all the myriad uses, no one outside our little study group seemed to understand anything about it other than its applications to personality.

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For instance, when I diagrammed the Hero’s Journey on it, a fascinating thin...

Just Do It

I’ve seen some great spoofs of the Nike campaign recently.  Some really are funny, but I suspect  that the people posting them fit into one of two categories:

 

Don’t believe there is a mortal issue at stake.  Don’t believe there is disproportionate unjustified police violence toward black people. Or: Approve of the oppression and violence.

 

I don’t see a third major category, other than perhaps people with a sick sense of humor (some of my favorite people, in general) but most of it seems...

Sunday is weekly planning day!

So Sunday is the one day a week I don’t workout or really work. But I do joint mobility, and I plan, and I play.  Planning is the most important thing: to connect to my driving emotions, and connect those to my long-term outcomes and dreams. To see what I need do in the next week.

 

Most important things this week:

Successful  Graphic Novel (“Eightfold Path” with Charles Johnson) intensive work in Seattle. Launch “Ultimate Enneagram” course with Mushtaq 35 pages on script. “Lifewriting Live”...

Winning A Debate With A Racist

I was asked about a group I formed about “winning a debate with a racist”.

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“as I recall one of the concepts was that while you may not win over the actual racist, you could win over the people observing the discussion or debate or argument, or am I misremembering?”

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Slightly. The trick is that internet arguments are not “debates”. There are no formal rules, no neutral judges, and just engaging is usually wasting your time. You “win” if you remember that there are some battles not worth w...