Steven Barnes's Blog, page 11

Beware Induced Confusion

I remember being in the office of a formerly great science fiction writer, a man who was a major force in his time, a volcano of creativity.   But…he couldn’t write any more.   The problem is that his very creativity, which had once made his fortune, generated a thousand options at every branching point in the story.  He, the character, the universe, the other characters could react in INFINITE ways to every stimulus.   Where once he had embraced those choices, and found the best, most brilli...

“Get Away From Her, You B@#$!”

Remember “Aliens”? Sure you do.  Ripley (the great Sigourney Weaver) survived the alien attack on her space tugboat Nostromo, awakening decades later in a new world.   When she is asked to lead a group of tough space marines back to the planet where her ship originally made contact, she hates the notion…but must, both to save hapless colonists and stop her own nightmares.  The space marines are tough and willing, but overmatched by the ferocious aliens that have overrun the planet, underlead...

“A Star Is Born”: Wilting beneath the loving gaze

(Spoilers ahead)

There is a darned good reason that “A Star Is Born” has been remade three times, in different eras with different emphasis. But always with enough power to make a mark. There is strong emotional fiber in that story. The current version may just be the very best.

Ally (Lady GaGa) is a struggling singer who has almost given up her dream of a career. She meets Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper) is a superstar driven by demons.

He has the external success, but the inner emptiness, a...

Soulmate M.A.G.I.C.

You may notice that I don’t suggest that people go out to singles bars, dating sites, and the like.  Not that these things don’t work, but those are the OBVIOUS things to do.   The perspective is that the most important attainments happen not when we are focused on them, but when we are focused on other things.  This is the “A watched pot never boils” notion, taken to a different level.  It is the  “In order to move forward, you have to be happy where you are” idea that is so difficult to gra...

When the lover is ready, the Beloved will appear

We’ve all felt alone and desperate, and the very worst thing about my deepest well of loneliness was that, by an amazing coincidence, the most attractive woman I knew gave me a chance to be with her. The chance of a lifetime. And…I totally blew it, dumping all my emotions out on her like a breached dam, washing away any chance I might have had. She was beautiful, sexy, smart, a lioness.

 

I’d been a rabbit.   I wasn’t on her frequency at all, and thank God I didn’t fall for the “Incel” insani...

The Geek’s Guide to Soulmates

My name is Steven Barnes.  I want to tell you a story that started when I hit rock bottom in Vancouver, Washington, and ended with me finding the woman of my dreams in Atlanta, Georgia. This is how I discovered the secret to finding my soulmate – the beautiful, brilliant, and amazing Tananarive Due.

 

In 1994, after the Chatsworth earthquake, my first wife told me she wanted to leave California.  I could either keep my Hollywood screenwriting career, or I could be a husband and father. I chos...

Grokking Love

The term “Grokking”, coined by the great SF writer Robert Heinlein in his novel “Stranger In a Strange Land”, roughly means “understand (something) intuitively or by empathy.”  This would be one of the core outcomes of most meditative disciplines: to KNOW yourself, to go beyond the surface stories and the ego shells to discover an ineffable truth within.

 

If I map this over to what the wisest men and women on the planet have said about this journey over the ages, this would seem to be at the...

Love Makes You Strong

(Trigger Warning:  There is violent imagery in this essay.  No joke)

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Coming from love doesn’t make you weak, or less capable of resisting evil.   Nope. It actually is the core of willingness to die killing something threatening your family or core values, which is arguably  the most powerful  and clarifying position in the world, beyond even personal survival.

 

I’ll tell a story I’ve told before.  Many years ago, I had a neighbor (call him “Bob”) whose daughter was a friend of Nicki, we’...

Love and Cleaning the Catbox…

A question came up yesterday: what happens if you have no healthy role models for relationships? What would happen if you grew up on an island, and the only people around you lisped?  You would speak in a lisp.  What if they all walked with a limp?  You probably would too.

 

When I was a kid, I was a four-eyed nerd with a pot-belly, no girlfriends and everyone told me my dreams were rubbish.  My mother and father had divorced by the time I was about eight (I don’t clearly remember) and I had...

The Fourth Principle, Flame Wars, and Incels

Remember those five principles?

Love Yourself Love One Other Person Understand History without guilt, blame or shame Don’t argue with Trolls: support your tribe Win with integrity

 

Right now, not a single day goes by that I don’t hear someone complain that they were arguing with some political opponent, and “could not convince them” and are SO frustrated about it. Angry.

 

Compare this to the number of times I see someone saying: “I argued with someone who had a totally different point of...