Steven Barnes's Blog, page 2
March 2, 2019
Is Meditation Dangerous
An interesting question, one addressed in articles like this:
The scenario is troubling, but not uncommon: a person seeking stress control, or the “meaning of life” or spiritual enlightenment begins a meditation practice, usually some visualization or mental exercise that takes them into a world they’ve ne...
February 25, 2019
The Influence of Influence
It is often noted that the discourse on my pages tends to be polite, and a few times a week I get inquiries about why this is true. It is very simple: tone flows down from the top. If the top is organized, things may unravel as you get closer to the bottom, but its hugely better than if the top is scattered. In this particular instance, then, it is simple: I strive to be courteous, and I demand courtesy from the guests on my page. I will cometimes allow two combative guests to square off...
February 23, 2019
Fun With Racism
I just saw a post with someone saying: “Jesse Smollet is clearly racist…” detailing the offenses he is now accused of. They include filing a false police report, and creating a public disturbance. If guilty, the man needs to go to jail.
But “racist”? Really? By what precise definition you find honest and useful?
There is basically one I find to be both: “To attribute differential worth or capacity on the basis of race or ethnicity.”
Get that? You think that X’s are better than Y’s. It isn’t “...
February 22, 2019
“Bohemian Rhapsody” (2018)
Finally saw “Bohemian Rhapsody” and enjoyed it quite a bit. It really reinforces my sense that society’s rejection of our basic being (Freddy Mercury’s gayness in this sense) eats at the soul, tears a human being to pieces. In the conceit of the screenwriters, made him crave the anonymous adoration of the crowd as replacement for truly intimate connection with a single human being.
There is a point where the crowd is actually “talking back” to the band by stamping their feet, clapping, an...
February 21, 2019
Kids deserve to know they are loved
Last night, Tananarive was out of the house doing a podcast. As often happens, when one or the other of us is gone, Jason gets talkative, came into the bedroom while I was watching the last act of THE SHOOTIST and we chatted about life, business, and stuff. He is so proud of his new grades, and I can see the wheels starting to turn in his head.
Clear Goal: “B” Average
Why? To prepare himself for life (long term). To get an Iphone 8 or X (short term)
How: Do his homework and classwork, tur...
February 20, 2019
The Power of Love
One of the Soulmate students asked for more information about loving yourself. Let me give you an example of what it is not, and why you need it.
Many years ago, my first girlfriend Sandy, had a friend (“Shelly”) who was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend. The boyfriend went to jail, and while he was away, she started a new relationship. When the boyfriend got out, he beat the new boyfriend half to death and attacked “Shelly” viciously. When she recovered, she got back together wit...
February 18, 2019
The Value of Self-Love
The next five weeks will be exciting: as we teach the first “Soulmate” class all we have to do is speak truth, lay out a perspective and respond to the students. Here is today’s:
“Just finished the webinar and I liked the combination of having the powerpoint with the salient points outlined, along with the dialogue. Tananarive’s comment about how love is not supposed to make you feel insecure, was insightful; and poked at past relationships where I wasn’t engaging with my equal, punching ab...
February 15, 2019
Predicting the Dark Night
WARNING: I have to talk about depression today, and want to make it very clear I am not speaking of CLINICAL depression. This will be repeated, for emphasis. If you have any sense that such a discussion would trigger guilt, blame, shame or any other negative reaction, please stop now.
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The Seventh step of the Hero’s Journey is called “The Dark Night of the Soul.” It is the moment when the Hero has tried everything and it just isn’t working. Only some external circumstance of devas...
February 14, 2019
Giving The Gift of Love…to Yourself
On Valentine’s day, I hope you will take a moment to let the people you love know they adore them. Don’t take it for granted that they know. Reach out.
And the most important person to connect with, acknowledge, and love with all your heart is…yourself.
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I was speaking to a woman with several children, who was in an abusive relationship with their step-father. She was desperately unhappy. The pain radiated off of her. Her hair lacked luster, her posture slumped, her complexio...
February 13, 2019
The Talking Stick
“I won’t be wronged. I won’t be insulted. I won’t be laid a-hand on. I don’t do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.”
― John Wayne “The Shootist”
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A few years back, an old friend disliked something I had done, and sat me down to communicate their thoughts and feelings to me. When I tried to explain, they basically said: “shut up and listen.”
I killed the very real flare of anger: I don’t talk to adults that way, but because of long association, I did as they aske...
