Sneha Jaiswal's Blog, page 242

Yara Review – Poignant Tale Of A Real Life Murder

Any piece of work that says “based on a real story” and true-crime fans are all eyes and ears. If you fall in the same category, you won’t even need to watch the trailer for the 2021 Italian film ‘Yara’ on Netflix, the 1 hour 36 minute runtime is an added advantage. Not going to take up a lot of your time in the day.

Directed by Marco Tullio Giordana and written by Graziano Diana, the film follows the investigation into the mysterious disappearance of 13-year-old Yara from Brembate di Sopra in Italy. Isabelle Ragonese plays Letizia Ruggeri, the prosecutor leading the investigation into the difficult case, because there are practically no clues on what happened to Yara. It’s as if she disappeared into thin air.

On the night of her disappearance, Yara had gone to drop off a stereo with a dance instructor, it was a 700 meter long walk from her. Her parents never saw her after that. Investigators didn’t even have straws to clutch at, and the entire country wondered what had happened to the young girl. The first tangible and major breakthrough came in only after the tragic discovery of Yara’s body, three months after she was last seen. Letizia Ruggeri does all she can to crack the case, including some very expensive methods that draw criticism over her method.

As a foreign viewer who knew little about the real case, ‘Yara’ makes for a very gripping watch. It’s devoid of over-the-top drama and is almost filmed like a documentary, with very little frills. A significant amount of the plot is carried forward through news reports, some of which felt like real archival footage on the search operations to look for Yara. It’s the character of Letizia that adds an emotional touch to the story. She is portrayed as a loving mother, and her maternal instincts seem to be the driving force in her quest to find answers in the difficult case. Viewers get a glimpse to the kind of pressure the police and prosecutors face while working on cases that draw a lot of media attention. The victim’s family does not get a lot of screen space, but when they do, they are played with a lot of dignity and sensitivity.

The climax felt underwhelming, because even though the film ties up the ending neatly, we never get clarity on what really happened on the fateful day. Since it’s based on a real case, perhaps the makers couldn’t just take the liberty of showing their own conclusions. Although, upon further reading, it turns out that the script does withhold a few twists and details that could’ve made the film feel a lot less satisfactory. It’s a 7/10 from me. Stream it on Netflix if you are a true-crime fan.

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‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ Gets Gen Y Lyrics

Come November and new Christmas themed movies start emerging by the dozen on our screens. And how can romantic comedies not feature a few old favorite Christmas tracks? Like “Baby It’s Cold Outside”.

Almost every year, the song gets new reboots, tributes and covers. It’s often debated for its ‘problematic’ lyrics, since the song is about a girl saying she should really get home, but her date pressures her to stay back, to have another drink and get cozy. “What’s in my drink?” she asks in the original lyrics, making a lot of people call the song ‘rapey’. In-fact, that’s exactly what the protagonist in the 2021 film ‘Love Hard’ says during a scene where she is asked to sing the song with the male lead as part of Christmas caroling.

“I am not singing that, that is like the sexual assault theme song” she protests. “You just do your part, and I’ll change my lyrics so the song doesn’t sound rape-y”, her friend assures her. So here are the new lyrics from the film, with the male bits updated with Gen Y lyrics, complete with an Uber ride reference.

I really can’t stay
No problem there’s the door
I’ve got to go away
I hear ya, say no more
This evening has been
Totally consensual
So very nice
I hope you get home safe tonight

My mother will start to worry
Here’s my phone give her a call
My father will be pacing the floor
Adios, say no more
So really I’d better scurry
I’ve been saying that for a while
Well, maybe just half a drink more
Slow down, that’s quite a pour

The neighbors might think
It’s just my old friend Troy
Say what’s in this drink
It’s just lemon LaCroix
I wish I knew how
To take a hint?
To break the spell
Do you know how to spell ‘farewell’?
I ought to say no, no, no
I’ll call you an Uber, they’re close
At least I’m gonna say that I tried
I feel like you’re not trying at all
I really can’t stay
Well, maybe just go out

Cause Baby, it’s cold outside
Maybe just go outside

Changed lyrics from the film ‘Love Hard’

Actors Nina Dobrev and Jimmy O Chang deliver this adorable updated rendition of the song, making it one of the highlights of their RomCom “Love Hard”. And since we are on the topic, let’s talk about how the lyrics aren’t problematic because it sounds like a douchebag is trying to pressure his date. In an incisive Medium write-up titled ‘The Problem “With Baby It’s Cold Outside” Isn’t Consent. It’s Slut Shaming’ by Cammila Collar, the writer explains how the woman in the song wants to go home only because the society expects her to. Not once in the song does the woman says she does not want to spend more time with her date, instead she cites how her parents will start worrying and the neighbors will start gossiping if she isn’t back home like a ‘good girl’ before curfew. She says “she ought to say no”, not that she wants to say no, and that’s really the problem – of having to conform to an invisible rule-book on how ladies ought to behave.

The song was written in 1944 and first seen on the big screen in the film ‘Neptune’s Daughter’ in 1949, the lyrics are completely in sync with the time it came out. Obviously there will be hell to pay if a girl is not back home on time. The original lyrics are too outdated for America, but in other parts of the world, girls still gotta worry about not being out too late post a date. But yes, we are all glad there is a fun updated version, where the guy doesn’t sound like a clingy creep.

Here are the original lyrics that were modified in the film –

(I really can’t stay) But, baby, it’s cold outside
(I’ve got to go away) But, baby, it’s cold outside
(This evening has been) Been hoping that you’d drop in
(So very nice) I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice

(My mother will start to worry) Beautiful, what’s your hurry
(My father will be pacing the floor) Listen to the fireplace roar
(So really I’d better scurry) Beautiful, please don’t hurry
(Well, maybe just half a drink more) Put some records on while I pour

(The neighbors might think) Baby, it’s bad out there
(Say what’s in this drink) No cabs to be had out there
(I wish I knew how) Your eyes are like starlight now
(To break this spell) I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell

(I ought to say no, no, no, sir) Mind if I move in closer
(At least I’m gonna say that I tried) What’s the sense of hurting my pride
(I really can’t stay) Baby, don’t hold doubt
[Both] Baby, it’s cold outside

(I simply must go) Baby, it’s cold outside
(The answer is no) Baby, it’s cold outside

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Love Hard Review – Cliched Christmas RomCom Has Its Fun Bits

The 2021 Netflix Romantic Comedy ‘Love Hard’ starts the exact same way as the 2020 coming-of-age tale ‘The Half Of It’ (another Netflix original). The protagonists talk about the Greek legend of how humans were originally created with four legs/arms and two faces, but were split into two by Zeus, so that they would spend the rest of their lives finding their other half. In-fact, right from start to finish, this film directed by Hernan Jimenez has a lot of scenes inspired from a bunch of different movies.

Plot overview: Nina Dobrev plays Natalie Bauer, a Los Angeles based journalist who writes a column (à la Carrie Bradshaw from ‘Sex in the City’) chronicling her disastrous online dating life under a pseudonym. Things change when a colleague expands her radius on the dating app. Natalie swipes right on an Asian-American guy called Josh Lin who seems just her type, but lives on the other side of the country. Convinced this could be her ‘happy ending’, Natalie flies to the east-coast to surprise Josh on Christmas, only to learn she has been catfished. What follows next is a predictable story about how Natalie tries to turn-around her situation and have a great dating write-up for her column before her next deadline.

To be fair, ‘Love Hard’ does have a decent amount of fun moments, with a fresh take on certain plot-lines. For example, except for the fact that they look Asian, Josh Lin’s family is American in every way, there is close to zero racial stereotype attached to them. The character of Josh’s grandmother was hilarious, she is the ‘cool’ granny who wants to get on a dating app and have her fun. Jimmy O. Yang is adorable as Josh, a well-read, nerdy, introverted guy, who is insecure about his appearance, so he resorts to using pictures of his handsome friend Tag (Darren Barnet) on the dating app. It was a nice change to not have a douche-y villain in the tale. Tag is the romantic rival, but instead of being the usual over-the-top jock jerk, he is just someone who has different interests than Natalie. Harry Shum Jr has an entertaining little cameo as Josh’s older attention-seeking brother and it was a delight to watch his immature onscreen antics. Nina as Natalie doesn’t stand out, her character is inconsistent, she is a hypocrite who is all hot & bothered about being lied to, but doesn’t mind having a host of fake hobbies to attract a hot guy. Also, there’s the ridiculous bit of her staying with her catfish, even though she constantly asserts how she ‘doesn’t trust him’. You sure babe?

What a lot of viewers might not like is how the makers sort of sugar-coat catfishing in the film. For the uninitiated, ‘catfish’ is the term for people who fake their identity online to start a relationship or to commit some sort of fraud. Catfishing is quite common (MTV has a whole reality show for it) and maybe only 1 out of a 100 turn out to be decent human beings like Josh, most others need therapy, or worse – prison time. But well, since it’s a romantic-comedy, our catfish is obviously a cute dude with mild self-esteem issues. There’s a lot of ‘be your authentic self’ talk thrown around in the script, to drive home the point that faking an identity is not a good thing, but it’s overdone. In-fact, this movie feels dragged out in parts and could’ve easily been shortened by at least 15-minutes.

The cinematography is well-done, some of the areal shots of the snow-covered towns were gorgeous. I felt like the Christmas decorations were a little too flashy, but for a festive romantic-comedy “Hard Love” probably packs in the right about of shiny lights. There’s even some entertaining caroling by the Lin family and an enjoyable modern rendition of the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside”, its lyrics are changed to make the man sound like a courteous gentleman who doesn’t pressure his date to stay back at his place.

Despite a foreseeable climax, where a very famous scene is recreated, the ending actually feels heartwarming. Nina Dobrev and Jimmy O. Yang pull off a sweet ending, and even though their chemistry isn’t crackling, it’s cute enough to not feel like a downer. It’s a 6/10 from me.

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Ending of Murakami’s Sputnik Sweetheart Explained

Just like his super popular ‘Norwegian Wood’, Haruki Murakami’s ‘Sputnik Sweetheart’, which came out ten years later, also has a cryptic ending. It’s funny how both novels end with a mysterious phone-call, and in both stories, it’s hard for the readers to decide if the climactic call was real or imagined. In the end, you just have to go with your gut feeling.

So while there can be multiple explanations to the ending of ‘Sputnik Sweetheart’, we quickly go through the plot and look at four possible interpretations of the climax in the latest podcast episode of Abstract AF.

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Meenakshi Sundareshwar Review: Cute Cast Can’t Save Sucky Script

Just five minutes into the film and my mind was already bubbling with dozens of questions and judgement for whoever gave a go-ahead to the silly AF script for “Meenakshi Sundareshwar”. Vivek Soni has directed this 2021 Bollywood film and has co-written the script with Arsh Vora. It’s another one of those Netflix offerings, that looks great in every way, has fun beats in the background, but the story is just random incidents stringed together to piss off viewers who expect something intelligent.

The film starts with a young man Sundareshwar (Abhimanyu Dassani) getting ready to see a potential bride for himself in Madurai, and his entire joint-family accompanies him. While they are on their way, his strict father coaches him on what he’s supposed to say if the girl’s side query him about his employment status. So here’s the biggest red flag, apparently, Mr Sundareshwar finished his engineering degree a year ago and is still unemployed because he hasn’t found a ‘suitable job’ yet. Sorry Mr Soni, but no respectable south-Indian father who is extremely disappointed with his son for not getting an IIT seat, would bother getting the jobless 20-something ‘fool’ married. And no ambitious 23-year-boy in his right mind would want to wed so soon, unless he is cripplingly desperate to get laid. This is me complaining about the first five minutes.

‘Meenakshi Sundareshwar’ is basically a dumb Punjabi love-story masquerading as a south-Indian tale of arranged-marriage and long-distance relationships. The cinematography is great, you have all the women draped in beautiful silk sarees, the homes are done artfully, both the traditional and modern ones that appear through the runtime. I loved some of the background music and tracks, they are upbeat/happy, and might lull some viewers into falsely believing the story is fun too. Basically, all the surface elements are done to perfection, but there is no coherent plot. Cosmetic conflicts are foisted on the protagonists to make it appear like they do have a story worth telling.

Sanya Malhotra is adorable as Meenaskhi, but that’s because she has that kind of cute personality in real life. It has nothing to do with her onscreen character. Abhimanyu Dassani reminded me a lot of Madhavan, he is quite charming as the socially awkward Sundareshwar, but together the two actors have very little chemistry. So why are we supposed to root for two youngsters who have very generic personalities and are eager to get married without considering the consequences? The only striking personality trait about Meenakshi is that she is a huge Rajinikanth fan. Just a little cliche they had to add because she is Tamilian. And don’t even get me started on the toxic job Sundareshwar lands eventually, which is meant to provide comic-relief, but is far from funny.

Why did they even make this film? What was the point? I was left wondering at the end of it all, after fast-forwarding a lot of bits towards the second-half. It’s a 4.5/10 from me.

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Listen to episode 29 for some fun movie recommendations.

Jai Bhim Review – Suriya Shines And Lijomol Lands A Sucker Punch Too

A pack of tribals are busy smoking out rats with fumigation pots in a village in South-India. They’ve been paid by a farmer to rid the rodents infesting his crop. That’s one of the first few scenes of ‘Jai Bhim’, the 2021 legal drama written and directed by T.J. Gnanavel, starring Lijo Mol Jose & Suriya as the primary protagonists.

Set in the 1990s, the story is about Rajakannu (K Manikandan) and Sengani (Lijomol Jose), an honest hardworking couple from the Irular tribe, a group known for their rat/snake catching skills. A day after Rajakannu catches a serpent in a wealthy man’s house, a burglary takes place there and he is named as a potential suspect. What follows next is a series of unlawful actions by the local police, which includes the detaining and thrashing of a pregnant Sengani.

The tone of the film quickly changes, from the idyllic simple lives of the Irulars, it moves to the grim reality of how their community is abused and brutalized by the system. The cops arrest Rajakannu and two of his family members, mercilessly beat them to get a confession, but to no avail. A few days later the cops claim the accused escaped from the police station. Sengani is distraught and doesn’t believe her husband fled, especially after he stoically bore brutal blows for days. She runs pillar to post to find a lawyer who’ll help in her quest to find her missing husband and prove his innocence. Enter Chandru (Suriya), a high court lawyer who doubles up as an activist in his free time, taking part in protests against cases of police brutality. He is known for doing pro bono work for human rights cases and is quick to take up Sengani’s cause.

The makers couldn’t resist the urge of putting the usual exaggerated drama and stylistic flourishes of music to introduce the hero of the film. For example, when we are first shown a high-court hearing, the court-room lights switch on in a rhythmic pattern, as if it’s a dance stage. But to the director’s credit, these little dramatic/stylistic elements of commercial Indian cinema aren’t overdone. They are in the right amount to hold the attention of all sorts of viewers – the ones that like their dramas over-garnished, and also those who prefer a serious no frills film. The police brutality scenes are violent, unbridled and will have your blood boiling. A significant amount of communist symbolism is slipped in, complete with the hammer-sickle red flags, which makes parts of the story feel like propaganda. But considering it’s loosely based on a real life case, one can perhaps forgive the blatant political posturing.

Lijomol Jose as the pregnant Sengani is absolutely riveting, not once does she slip out of character, and holds her own against the more experienced Suriya. And Suriya is all guts & glory as the activist/lawyer Chandru, who hero-worships BR Ambedkar and believes in equal rights. In court, he lands one sucker punch after the other against the prosecution, keeping the film intriguing and hard-hitting. Prakash Raj in his small cameo as an upstanding top-cop proves again that he can pull off all sorts of roles, even though we are used to seeing him as the ‘bad cop’ on screen. The other actors do a commendable job, although, the script could’ve used a stronger prosecuting lawyer.

Some scenes are slightly long-drawn to make the characters grow on the viewers, perhaps to make us feel more sympathetic for their plight as the story drums to an emotional climax. Despite the serious themes, the director manages to slip in some comic relief in the tense courtroom exchanges. The CGI in the first few scenes with the rats and snakes was slightly weak and the makers could’ve avoided it. But apart from these very minor flaws, and a few extra minutes, it’s a powerful movie, sure to remain in the conscience of the viewer for a while. The ‘criers’ will need tissues at the end.

‘Jai Bhim’ is the victory chant of the followers of BR Ambedkar, independent India’s first Minister of Law and Justice, a champion of the downtrodden who dreamed of an India free of caste. His dream unfortunately remains unfulfilled, but Suriya’s film is a fitting paean to the man and the real life lawyer K Chandru. It’s a 8.5/10 from me. The movie is on Amazon Prime.

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Hypnotic Review – What The Witch Is This?

It’s funny they needed two directors to make the 2021 psychological thriller ‘Hypnotic’. Or maybe it’s the classic case of ‘t(w)oo many cooks spoil the broth’, because this film is a predictable muddle. In parts it feels like a horror movie, in some bits it comes across as a fantasy/magic tale, because some of the nonsensical scenes would only be acceptable in a story with witches.

Written by Richard D’Ovidio, Directed by Matt Angel and Susan Coote, ‘Hypnotic’ is about a woman who realizes her therapist is a dangerous man, when it’s too late, or is it? Kate Siegel plays Jenn Tompson, the protagonist, whose friend introduces her to the charming Dr Collin Meade. On their very first session, Meade uses hypnosis on Jenn, but they aren’t meant to help her. The doctor has his own sinister motives and a dubious past.

Let’s talk cinematography – it’s really annoying how the directors keep the sets completely dark, as if the story was taking place in Gotham city. The therapist’s office looks more like Mr Grey’s den from 50 Shades…, with doors that would perhaps lead to a BDSM chamber. Jenn says “cosy place you have here” (or something like that), when she sees Meade’s office, and as a viewer you might go “huh? you call this cosy? this place looks like the HQ of some cunning businessman who makes his workers slog to death, while sipping whiskey in his cold, dark, stylish chamber”. Even the cop’s office is dingy and dark. Even the roads seem go dark during broad daylight. Where do these people even live? Gloomsville?

One of the primary plot devices that carries this film forward is the method of hypnosis used by Dr Meade on his patients, and it’s exaggerated as hell. It’s like Meade is a wizard casting a mind spell on Jenn and she eventually runs to another therapist/witch who tries to cast a counter-spell to fight off Meade’s magic. Maybe the writer wanted to write a story with witches but the producers said “nope, we need a therapist as an antagonist, that’s more real”. Sure. On the contrary, it’s extremely far-fetched, and does disservice to mental health practitioners.

Kate Siegel is great as Jenn, she exudes the sad persona of a beautiful woman dealing with trauma; Jason O’Mara as Dr Meade is the right amount of creepy for the role. But the plot is too thin, filled with loopholes and the pacing is slow, even though the runtime is just 90 minutes. The writers foreshadow a twist with a very obvious hint in the first half, so a lot of viewers can see the climax coming. They should have just made a dark-fantasy film with magic and witches and maybe this would’ve been more fun. It’s a 5/10 from me.

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Listen to – 15 Freaky Facts About The Case ‘Conjuring 3’ Is Based On

Tiny House Nation – A Comfort Show To Watch With Just About Anybody

The sitcom ‘Friends’ for the longest time had been a ‘comfort show’ for a lot of people my age. So whenever somebody visited and we just wanted to watch something for some entertainment, I too would turn to the golden six of the popular series. But not anymore. Now when friends are over, I prefer picking series that have episodes that aren’t connected to each other. And my favorite among them is ‘Tiny House Nation’, a perfect pick to watch with friends and family, especially if your guests fall in the older age bracket.

Tiny House Nation is a reality television series, hosted by two renovation experts called John Weisbarth and Zack Giffin, who help families design and build their dream homes, which are tiny, as in no more than 450 square feet. Although the biggest tiny home they help build was almost 600 square feet. What I love about this show is how the renovators find out as much as they can about the personalities of the home-owners, and then incorporate designs and changes into the living-spaces. They come up with innovative ideas for furniture and rooms that the families would never think of. Best part – the solutions are always economical.

Having lived in several houses in the last few years, and having had a nightmarish time finding a decent carpenter to build things that we would want to for ourselves, it’s heartwarming to see how Zack Giffin goes the extra mile to build things that will make families happy. “We should have paid them and got them all the way from America to build our house”, my mother half-joked, when I watched the series the second time, for her. Builders in India are nothing sort of giant pain in the asses for a lot of people, and forget going beyond what you asked for, they screw up even the most specific of instructions.

Both John and Zack are friendly and goofy, with the latter being the more hard-working one. Zack is always bubbling with ideas and worries about the houses they are building as if they are his own. Together, the two of them ensure families who’ve never lived in a small 300 square feet house, know what to expect and get the maximum out of the little space they get. If every builder had the same approach, there would be a lot less disgruntled home-owners around the world.

Watch this show next time you have somebody over and don’t know what to stream. It’s available on Netflix.

Maya And The Three Review – Splashy High-Fantasy For Kids

First off – what’s with the lack of effort on the intro music? It sets the tone for the series and looks like the makers of the 2021 limited animated series ‘Maya and three’ put in zero effort into it, or just forgot about it until release date was around the corner. Luckily, the rich tapestry of colors in the animation makes viewers immediately forget about the low energy introduction.

Created by Jorge R Gutierrez, this 9-episode Netflix series is an epic tale of Mesoamerican princess Maya of the Tecas, who goes on a quest to find the greatest warriors in her land, to help her defeat the God of War. So it treads on high-fantasy realm, with Gods, demi-Gods, magic and high-voltage battles, all culminating into an Avengers’ style ‘end-game’ war.

You have the usual themes of friendship, love, sacrifices and a lot of the characters feel borrowed from popular children’s tales, like Chimi the albino archer is inspired from ‘The Jungle Book’, she is raised by animals, just like Mowgli. Then there is the asocial wizard Rico, who has a Harry Potter like story, an orphan who is looked upon with fear by most of his kind, but finds a mentor in a grand old wizard. It’s the unique use of elements from Aztec mythology that makes this series stand-out from the crowd. For example the God of War is called Lord Mictlan, who according to Aztec lore was a God of the Underworld. And just like the Aztecs were obsessed with the concept of death & afterlife, a lot of things in ‘Maya and the Three’ reflect some or the other form of death – like even the moon looks like a skull. These little details were fun to watch.

Those who love bright shiny colors will instantly fall in love with the series. One can probably find every shade in the world in this creation, with grand Aztec architectural wonders dotting the landscape of the story. The animation is great, although there are a lot of flashy sequences with strobe effect that can get heavy on the eyes. Maybe not the best idea to binge-watch this. I took four days watching the nine episodes and it’s definitely more entertaining if you watch just one or two at a time.

As an adult viewer, the series feel it’s a lot longer than necessary, even though it’s not slow per se; a lot of action is constantly unfolding, but it’s not exciting enough to keep you thrilled throughout. What’s commendable about the show is how the makers don’t save tragedies for the last. There’s a lovely sobering sequence of princess Maya’s people dancing to honor all the soldiers who were martyred fighting while the God of War. It’s akin to the ‘Day of the Dead’ the Mexicans/Aztecs observe to honor the souls that have passed away. All the nine chapters have someone dying and parents who haven’t touched upon the concept with their little ones might have some discussing to do; especially when the ‘dance of death’ comes on.

The mention of dance brings me to the music in this series – like with the lackadaisical intro piece, the makers don’t put in a lot of thought to ambient sounds. Except for the folksy track ‘Bolon Chom’ (which is now on my playlist), a lot of the soundtrack is a little off and makes the corresponding scenes seem chaotic. Like there’s a scene of Maya and her warrior friends fighting two lower Gods and the music that accompanies the face-off sounds like traditional music played during weddings in south-India (to be more specific – Tamil Nadu). That was just super-weird and annoying to watch.

While younger viewers will probably not notice some plot-holes, but there are a few too convenient twists in the second-half that do not fall in sync with some of the earlier story-line. Some of the dialogues also get a little repetitive, but as a cartoon meant for kids, it’s important to repeat a few punchlines to make them memorable, so I am not going to fault the creators on that. They’ve given us a strong feisty teen protagonist in Maya (voiced by Zoe Zaldana), who is believable as the fearless princess who wants to save the world. Chimi, the brightly drawn warrior of the Jungles was my favorite, maybe because she prefers the company of animals over humans. In-fact, I love how all the women in the show are always ready to take on the world and are definitely more badass than the men.

Overall, ‘Maya and the Three’ is a very entertaining show for kids, maybe not as much for adults who already consume a lot of animated creations. It’s a 7/10 from me.

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Call My Agent Bollywood Review – Dial C For Cringe

Damn Netflix and whoever makes trailers for them, because they are getting better at misleading viewers about the quality of their content. Or damn us. Why the fuck are we not learning from our past mistakes? The teaser for the 2021 series ‘Call My Agent Bollywood’ directed by Shaad Ali, looked like a fun ride. It is an official Indian reboot of the popular French show ‘Dix Pour Cent’, which is also available to stream on Netflix. Nothing prepared me for just how shitty this show was going to get.

Plot overview – ART is a sinking talent agency, where four agents scramble to get their actors top money and stop their company from going bust after the owner dies.

The first few seconds of the first episode are good enough, courtesy the pretty visuals of Dia Mirza who plays herself, an actor nearing 40s & finding it hard to get lead roles. But soon, things get chaotic. Aahana Kumra plays Amal, one of the primary protagonists, but she isn’t able to pull off the role of a sassy/bullheaded agent. Except for a few minutes here and there, Amal’s trribly written inconsistent character is a cringe-show. For example, Amal’s assistant quits after being told to ‘shut the fuck up’, and when the crying underling tries to storm out of the office, Amal tries to pacicy her with a crappy line that goes “mujhe pata hai mujhe aaj kal zyaada hi gussa aata hai… tum… tum badam khao, tumhe ussey shakti milegi”. Translation – I know I get very angry these days, you… you eat almonds, they’ll make you strong. WTF? Who comes up with this shit? The interaction keeps getting worse and Aahana feels out of her skin. I almost feel bad for her. But after that I started feeling bad for myself, because I didn’t want to watch the show anymore. But I soldiered on…

Let’s talk about the other three agents, Rajat Kapoor is the scheming/opportunist agent Monty, perhaps the only villain sort of character in the show; but Rajat has his A game on, so despite the negative role, he is the only one agent that doesn’t comes across as a boneheaded moron. Soni Razdan as the oldest of the pack gets very little screen space, almost like a token representation of the ‘old school’ star-maker. And finally there’s Ayush Mehra, he plays a young Parsi agent, and doubles us as a ‘fag-hag’ for the lesbian Amal. Mehra was okay-ish, nothing worth mentioning. It’s in-fact all the actors who keep making small cameos through the series as the ‘talents’ being handled by the agents who stand out. So actors playing themselves offer the bare little entertainment viewers get out of ‘Call My Agent Bollywood’.

Maybe I should’ve done a listicle titled ’20 reasons why this new Netflix show sucks’, instead of a review. The makers don’t know how to use music. For example, some scenes that could’ve been fine with soft notes, instead have an over-dramatic flourish of instruments. And they keep using that piece over and over again, making it annoying… the music is a lot like the trumpet-sort of sound in the song ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’. That choice of instrumental ambience blends well with tragic loves stories, not with a dark satire on Bollywood agents. Or whatever this chaotic show is supposed to be. Because it’s neither funny enough to be a satire, nor dark, and the story flits between being absurdly caricature-like (yet not funny) and too serious.

Things get mildly better in Episode 2, largely because of fun little twist involving older actors Lilette Dubey and Ila Arun who play fictional versions of themselves. In the series, the two are shown as rivals who dated the same man once upon a time. Except for their few minutes, again, the writing is so trite, that instead of being entertained, I found myself rubbing my head to ease away the stress it was causing me (the stress of being aware that I was wasting my time on this and the second-hand embarrassment I suffered over the writing as a writer). The predictable sub-plot about one of the agents having a secret bastard child was completely pointless. Radhika Seth who plays the girl is just blah. Can’t think of a better word, and considering the little effort the writers put into this show, I don’t see any reason why I should go the extra mile to wrack my brains for a better adjective.

I want to blame the writers for the whole mess, but come episode 6, and we have experienced actors like Nandita Das and Jackie Shroff, who play themselves, and despite the lame lines, they pull them off so well, that you cannot help but enjoy their scenes. Even episode 5 was enjoyable in parts because of Ali Fazal and Richa Chadha, who play themselves and have a comical story; it was the only episode where for the first time I laughed out loud at a scene that was intended to be funny. Also, why hasn’t anyone realized that Farah Khan has an extremely annoying personality and is better of doing things off-screen? Her 2-bit cameo was vexatious and an attack on the ears.

The makers fail spectacularly in their quest to portray the entertainment industry as a ‘heartless profession’. You have a bunch of assholes as characters, sure, but they aren’t exclusive to celebrity circles. It’s the era of online trolls, and jerks are by the dozen in every freaking field. I do appreciate the LGBTQ+ representation in the show, although Amal basically plays the female version of the stereotypical toxic male dude who runs at the mention of ‘commitment’ and is a dick to dates. Anyway, it’s probably a good time to mention a few actors who were commendable in their parts, like Merenla Imsong who plays a struggling actor from the north-east; newbie Anuschka Sawhney as Jasleen, Amal’s interest wasn’t impressive, but has great chemistry with Aahana, it’s just her way of speaking that threw me off a little. It was kind of weird. Suchitra Pillai was brilliant in her small cameo as Monty’s wife and one begins to wonder why she isn’t given more roles?

Anyway, let’s move on to the climax. I literally screamed ‘yuck yuck yuck yuck’ at the typical cringe-y scene they try to pull in that last episode, with one lead running after the other and…. yuck. Although, surprisingly, it wasn’t the last scene, there were a few more minutes left, so the ending wasn’t actually as terrible as the rest of the show. For a change, the ‘agents’ loosen up, behave like regular humans and have a fun little drinking session after a shitty day at work. And then to the viewer’s greatest relief – it ends.

Despite having the potential to be a wildly engrossing series, the opportunity is wasted. It’s a 4/10 from me.

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Listen to Episode 23 – 10 Reasons Why Tumbbad Deserves More Attention