Joy Neal Kidney's Blog, page 36

Marilyn Marie Bode (1945-2023), a Friend Gone Too Soon

A favorite photo of Marilyn (left) and her daughter JillMarilyn Lawson was a grade behind me in school, but we farm girls rode the same bus through high school. She was Cousin Judy’s seatmate, but when basketball season arrived, Judy and my seatmate (Emily Nevitt) stayed for practice, so Marilyn and I shared a bus seat.We were both members of the Penn Gwens 4-H club and did at least two demonstrations together (one giving us a chance to do it at the 1962 Waterloo Dairy Cattle Congress.).Both of us were in the French horn section of the Earlham band..After high school, Marilyn and I were mainly “Christmas card friends” for a few decades, but when she returned to Iowa, she not only became a beta reader for the first two “Leora books,” she also hosted me for two book clubs (at Dexter and Minburn).Delta Kappa Gamma at the Dallas County Freedom Rock in Minburn, 2021. I’m in red, Marilyn is at the right.I knew that Marilyn was a polio survivor but she never talked about it during our growing up days. Years later she wrote a book about the experience for her children and grandchildren. Both the Dexter Museum and the Dexter Library have a copy of it, called My Mean Mom , because of the arduous physical therapy they endured after weeks in the hospital..Marilyn shared her polio journey as part of the Senior Speaker Series in Earlham, and was a finalist at the the 2021 Our American Stories event in Des Moines.Marilyn often shared cheerful stories on Facebook about their too-active dog Skippy, piano pieces, and even her early attempts with her new marimba. I miss those..How I’ll miss this delightful and generous friend.Marilyn’s obituary.—–The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. – Deuteronomy 33:27

Ever Hear of a Kissel Kar?

The US declared war on Germany April 6, 1917. Selective Service for men ages 21-39 began in May for what was called the Great War, or even the War to End All Wars. Clabe Wilson’s name was among those subject for the draft, as well as three of Leora’s brothers–Merl, Wayne, and Jennings.

Nevertheless, both Merl and Jennings bought Kissel Kars.

The Kissel Company was founded by Conrad Kissel (who came to Wisconsin in 1857 from Prussia) and his four sons in 1906. They produced 35,000 automobiles in Hartford, Wisconsin, before the Great Depression and mounting losses forced them into bankruptcy in 1931.

Jennings Goff’s Kissel Kar (note the pennant under the roof at right): Jennings Goff, Clabe Wilson with Donald, Leora Wilson, Delbert Wilson is with Leora’s brother Perry Goff. May 20, 1917, Wichita, Iowa

That March, those optimistic Goff boys bought “the Powell ranch on Beaver Creek” and began planting a crop, mostly popcorn. Two months later their draft notices ordered them to report to Camp Dodge. 

Jennings, who had bought a Kissel Kar the year before, “put it to good use” the day before leaving home. Then he asked Pa to sell it for him, which he did. For $1100.

From Leora’s Early Years: Guthrie County Roots.

 

 

The Library at the Hotel Pattee

This note was such a lovely surprise.

The hotel’s library

Historic Hotel Pattee has been renovated, with each of 40 rooms decorated to reflect something of local or Iowa history. The building itself has a fascinating history.

The hotel also has a bowling center, a full service dining room and lounge, and its own dedicated library. That’s where Mark Hilliard found a copy of Leora’s Letters. 

Perry is also on the Raccoon River Valley Bike Trail.

Mark Hilliard actually listened to the Audible version of Leora’s Letters on his way to Florida (and learned that I’m just a few days older than his mother). After he returned to Iowa, he made another trip to Perry, this time to find the Wilson stones in Violet Hill Cemetery.

Mark also visited the Dallas County Freedom Rock at Minburn, where all five Wilson brothers are remembered. Minburn, just ten miles from Perry, or just seven if you take the Raccoon River Valley Bike Trail.

The Wilsons were tenant farmers not three miles southwest of the Freedom Rock until late 1944. After all five sons had left to serve in WWII, Clabe and Leora Wilson bought an acreage near Perry.

You can see Mark’s truck in both photos.

Surely Mark’s notes and photos were an answer to a long-ago prayer that Clabe and Leora Wilson’s family sacrifices and stories would not be forgotten. Thank you Mark Hilliard.

He plans to donate his copies of the “Leora books” to his local library. What a nifty idea!

—–

My favorite chauffeur and I stayed at the handsome Arts and Crafts Style Hotel Pattee for our 50th wedding anniversary and, two years ago this month, for our 55th. Since it was Memorial Day weekend, we also took flowers to remember the Wilson family at Violet Hill Cemetery. Perry is only an hour’s drive for us now, but life with fibromyalgia has curtailed several treasured customs.

 

Mary & Me: A Lasting Link Through Ink

The Book

Mary & Me: A Lasting Link Through Ink explores a thirty-year friendship between two women: one who had never learned to cultivate female friendships, and the other who had managed to gather and maintain a large group of friends throughout her adult life. The fact that thousands of handwritten letters between them tethered these two together is just part of the intriguing story.

 

The Authors

Mary Potter Kenyon graduated from the University of Northern Iowa with a BA in Psychology and is widely published in magazines, newspapers, and anthologies. She is a popular speaker and workshop presenter for women’s groups, libraries, community colleges and writer’s conferences. Her public speaking repertoire includes the topics of caregiving, couponing, writing, utilizing your creativity in your everyday life, and finding hope and healing in grief.

This prolific author with Familius has written several other books: Coupon Crazy: The Science, the Savings, and the Stories Behind America’s Extreme Obsession, Chemo-Therapist: How Cancer Cured a Marriage, Refined By Fire: A Journey of Grief and Grace, Expressive Writing for Healing: Journal Your Way from Grief to Hope, and Called to be Creative: A Guide to Reigniting Your Creativity.

She and her husband Nick Portzen, Sr. live in Dubuque, Iowa. They are codirectors of this summer’s Cedar Falls Christian Writers Conference. Check out her website. Please visit her Amazon Author Page.

Mary Jedlicka Humston, a former high school teacher, graduated from the University of Northern Iowa with a BA in English Education. She has had over 150 poems and essays published at the local and national level in newspapers, magazines, books, and online. One of her poems was chosen to be projected on the Krakow City of Literature UNESCO Poems on the Wall in 2014. Mary has presented programs on cancer, dealing with chronic illness, prayer, writing, and the Little Free Library movement. She is a member of National League of American Pen Women and The University Club Writers of Iowa City. She lives in Iowa City with her husband Jim. Mary will be one of the presenters at the Cedar Falls Christian Writers Conference.

My Thoughts

This lovely book is the memoir of a compelling decades-long friendship between two women and the hundreds of letters they wrote each other as lifelines, journaling to share with another kindred spirit.

Both Marys shares their stories for each chapter–on friendships, mothers, mean girls, babies, serious writing, illnesses, worry, losses, faith, and personal questions. Each chapter also includes a related guest essay. This delightful memoir includes the added bonuses of resources and discussion questions.

I met “the Marys” at the 2014 Cedar Falls conference, and look forward to seeing them there this June. Both have been so supportive and encouraging, during my early years of the first manuscript and through all three “Leora books.”

Here’s more about winsome encouragement from Mary Jedlicka Humston, while sitting in what she calls her “queen chair.”

You might like to check out the speakers and topics for this year’s Cedar Falls Christian Writers Conference.

 

“Leora” Readers’ Selfies

It’s been delightful to receive selfies of people with Leora’s stories. This was the first one, a son of Louise Hartman, who has been an encourager since the beginning. She said he read Leora’s Letters in just one day.

Bob and Dick Scar are the two older sons of Darlene Wilson Scar, whose twin was Dale Wilson, one of the three brothers lost during the war. Bob (born on page 285 of Leora’s Letters) bought all of of those copies and donated them! He sent them to fellow Marine veterans and friends and gave a copy to whoever wanted one. Dick, my only older cousin (born on page 78), received his copy as a gift.

I hope Jerry was reading and not dozing. Wintering in Florida.

I met Rifet as a 5-year-old when I visited Bosnia with his Aunt Zlatka and family in 2001. Even then, Rifet tried so hard to communicate with me. Since then, he’s become bilingual and has been a delight to correspond with (through Instant Messaging).

Jay received a copy for Christmas.

Rod read the first book in Florida, the second one back in northern Iowa. (Then he visited the Dallas County Freedom Rock at Minburn!)

Darren Gilbert is the author of a delightful family-friendly book called Adirondack Bear Tales: True Bear Encounters in the North Woods, and a good sport for the selfie! (He also reviewed it on Amazon, etc.)

Ramiz and Ferida are entrepreneurs who came to Iowa two decades ago as refugees of the Bosnian war. We were among their ESL teachers and they took us to dinner at the Machine Shed Restaurant (which carries autographed copies of the Leora books).

Ladies must be more shy, but here is Mary in her “queen chair.” 

Bread and Gravy for Supper, Crackers and Milk for Dessert

Have you ever enjoyed bread and gravy for supper? I certainly enjoyed it as a child, but was it just our family’s custom? Just a slab of bread smothered with gravy. Delish!

Dad enjoyed his crackers and milk dessert often at this Formica table. Mom delighted in the Youngstown kitchen cabinets. This was taken around 1970–Guy bought the big spoon and fork when he was overseas.

Dad enjoyed crackers and milk for dessert. Mom said the first time he did that after they were married, she thought he was still hungry and she hadn’t cooked enough food. No, it was something he’d enjoyed when he was a child.

Grandma Ruby’s parents were German. Was this a German treat? Grandpa Kenneth’s folks came from Tennessee and Indiana. No clues there. Or was it just a Neal family invention?

Crackers and milk never caught on with me, but bread and gravy sure did. At least until I ended up with a gluten allergy. Gluten-free bread and gluten-free gravy just doesn’t have the same texture, the same “comfort factor.”

Does your family have an unusual or interesting food quirk?

Clarinda State Hospital: Georgia Wilson

After Dan Wilson died in 1909, his widow Georgia and younger daughters (Verna age 2 and Fonnie, 6) moved into Panora. By then, daughter Alice was married, and Rectha married soon after. Georgia had lost both parents, her mother just a few weeks before the birth of Verna. Clabe Wilson was still at home, helping care for his younger sisters, even diapering baby Verna. He may also have moved into Panora with them, but in 1914, he married Leora Goff and moved to Monteith.

Clabe and Leora Wilson in front of the home of his mother, Georgia Wilson, in Panora, Iowa. 1914

Georgia had some kind of “attack” in June 1917. The next month she was admitted to The Retreat in Des Moines with Fonnie and Verna. The Retreat was a private mental health center where a parent could keep children with them. By October, a guardian was appointed for her daughters.

 

Georgia was admitted to Clarinda State Hospital November 9, 1917. Her granddaughter (my mother Doris) requested the her records from the hospital. Case No. 8179 Ward Notes: Nov. 24, 1917 – “Was in depression when she entered hospital and remained in this condition; would not answer questions put to her and did not pay any attention to things going on around her. Took nourishment quit well, but gradually grew weaker and more depressed and did not respond to medical aid and passed away at 8 p.m. The cause of death being exhaustion from manic depressive – depression. The remains were sent to Stuart, Iowa.”

Georgia Wilson was 53 years old. Her funeral was held at Dale City and burial was at Morrisburg Cemetery.

I’ll tell more stories in the morning at the Panora Library, which isn’t far from Georgia Wilson’s house in the background of the cover photo of Leora’s Early Years.

 

Clarinda State Hospital: Daniel Ross Wilson

Evidently, Iowa towns didn’t have nursing homes during the early 1900s. Both of Clabe Wilson’s folks died at the Clarinda State Hospital. Their records certainly give insight into what life was like at home when Clabe was a young adult. Dan and Georgia Wilson left no letters, so the only other information about them came from short newspaper items when they were ill, and one terrible episode.

In May 1908, Mrs. Dan Wilson was listed in the Panora Vedette as very sick. That July, Dan evidently had an attack of apoplexy (cerebral hemorrhage or stroke). He had another stroke in October.

January 14, 1909, “D.R. Wilson has been quite ill for some time. One day last week he had a stroke of paralysis and is now dangerously ill.” (Panora Vedette) A week later, Dan and Georgia’s daughter Alice married Ed McLuen and moved to Stuart.

The February 21, 1909 Vedette reported that D. R. Wilson had thrown a corn knife at his son, Clabe.

Dan Wilson sent this postcard to his wife Georgia from Stuart, February 23, 1909 (but postmarked in Coon Rapids): “Dear Georgia and family I got up here all right write and let me [know] who they are all geting [sic] along write just as soon as you hear from me for I am anxious to hear from you all love to you all from your best friend”

Since he wrote this at Stuart, I wonder whether he was staying with his daughter Alice and her new husband Ed McLuen.

Clarinda State Hospital

The records from Clarinda State Hospital, which his granddaughter (my mother Doris) requested, give a clearer picture of what happened two days after the card was written.

This is the other side of the 1909 postcard, which had been postmarked in Coon Rapids.

March 1, 1909. Daniel Ross Wilson was admitted to Clarinda State Hospital, Case No. 5603. “Age 42, farmer and stock raiser. Alleged cause: sickness and trouble, 6 months duration. Organic Dementia. 4 children – youngest 2 years.

“First symptoms manifested by mental aberration. Likes and dislikes were too pronounced. A dislike for any person turned into intense hatred without sufficient cause. I subject to attacks of frenzy when crossed. Feb. 21st threw a corn knife at his son [Clabe] and after possessing himself of a butcher knife threatened to kill him. Has threatened, but not attempted suicide. . . . Has been a periodical drinker to excess up to about five years ago. Has always had a violent temper and inclined to fight. . . . has been a very sick man at times for the past three or four years. Had an attack of apoplexy June 908 from which he has partially recovered. Marked mental deterioration has accompanied this. Domestic relations have never been pleasant.”

Mar. 20, 1909. Ward Notes: “Is in rather poor physical health, suffering from a left hemiplegia and the left arm is practically useless. Mentally he is somewhat demented and is considerably depressed just at present. He is neat and orderly and quite agreeable.”

April 3, 1909 “. . . He got a long very well for a week. . . but a sudden change developed and he gradually failed until the end came. He died at 10 p.m. The remains were sent to Coon Rapids, Iowa.”

Daniel Ross Wilson was just 42 years old. At home were his widow Georgia (44), Clabe (21), Rectha (18), Fonnie (6), and Verna (2).

Clarinda State Hospital, 1920s

Panora Vedette, April 15, 1909. “Death of Dan Wilson. Monday of last week, Dan Wilson died at Clarinda, where he was at the state hospital for treatment. He lived a good many years on a farm in Jackson township, and was well known in this vicinity. He was a man given to attending to his own business and took quite an interest in raising fine swine. For some months past he had been in failing health which continued to the end. He was brought home for burial.”

Actually, Dan Wilson was buried in Coon Rapids, among his Wilson pioneer ancestors.

The Poetry Home Repair Manual by Ted Kooser

Practical Advice for Beginning Poets

Ted Kooser has been writing and publishing poetry for more than forty years. In the pages of The Poetry Home Repair Manual, Kooser brings those decades of experience to share tools and insights, instructions (and warnings against instructions) that poets—aspiring or practicing—can use to hone their craft, perhaps into art. Using examples from his own rich body of work and from those of a number of other poets, the author schools us in the critical relationship between poet and reader, which is fundamental to what Kooser believes is poetry’s ultimate purpose: to reach other people and touch their hearts.

Much more than a guidebook to writing and revising poems, this manual has all the comforts and merits of a long and enlightening conversation with a wise and patient old friend—a friend who is willing to share everything he’s learned about the art he’s spent a lifetime learning to execute so well.

The AuthorTed Kooser was the United States Poet Laureate from 2004 to 2006 and won a Pulitzer Prize for his book of poems Delights and Shadows . He is the author of twelve full-length volumes of poetry and several books of nonfiction, and his work has appeared in many periodicals.

 

My Thoughts

There is much to ponder as you endeavor to make your own poems better. No dithering, he says. “A poet needs to write with the essential details. No spare parts.” The Poetry Home Repair Manual is a treasure to savor several times.

Here’s an earlier post about Ted Kooser’s A Man With a Rake, which was published in 2022.

 

Glass Awash – Poems by Retired Truck Driver Ken Gierke

The Book: “Time spent on or near the water has always been important to me. In a past life that meant boating and scuba diving. Today it means kayaking or walking along a river or stream. It may even mean sitting on a shoreline, writing poetry. Photography has always been a favorite pastime, so taking photos often is as important to me as the sights I see, but those sights aren’t limited to Nature. I find myself seeking angles and lines, and, as you might expect, some of the most intriguing lines can be found in architecture, but they also can be seen in groups of objects – and that includes people. Of course, as I’m enjoying the outdoors or observing people and architecture, all of this becomes part of my ‘familiar.’ My goal is to write about my ever-broadening familiar.”

The Poet: Ken Gierke is a retired truck driver, transplanted to Missouri from Western New York. After only ten years here, he is actually coming to think of Missouri as home, in spite of muddy water and a dearth of maple trees. While his poetry has appeared in several anthologies, this is his first published collection.

 

My thoughts: The opening poems, by this retired truck driver poet, are desolate and haunting. But soon several of them draw the reader into beautiful and compelling scenes as Ken Gierke shares his deathwatch over his mother. You’d think those would be bleak but they are so exquisitely wrought, that singular connection between mother and son. After the poet works through grief of her loss, the verses become more hopeful. A masterful collection.

Glass Awash is available on Amazon.