Joy Neal Kidney's Blog, page 2

That third infusion

That third infusion. . . .

I saw Dr. Flores recently, a couple of weeks after the third infusion for Crohn’s. I had wonderful news for her: I’d been able to eat some solid foods, tentatively, for nearly a week! Scrambled eggs, roasted sweet potato, peanut butter toast (gluten free), a little pot roast from the Machine Shed Restaurant (hurrah for leftovers). And no Pepto Bismol! (It helped make sure everything tummywise was quiet so I could even go to an appointment (Favorite Guy’s or my own) or an infusion.

You can’t imagine how thankful I am. 

Dr. Flores had news for me: I’m anemic. You don’t get much protein from broth, bananas, toast, and Jell-O. That explains a worsening exhaustion, even a light-headedness, and having to give up most of my mosey/slog at daybreak. I’ve been walking just three blocks, then home, but I’m grateful to be able to get that far. Early morning Iowa skies are so winsome, treefrogs singing, an owl heading home after a night of hunting, no dogs barking yet.

Thanks to you followers for praying for the worst misery to lift during those touch-and-go summer months. Those prayers have been answered!

More news: My positive response to the third infusion means I’m considered ready for maintenance. They are checking to see if I’m also a candidate for injections (here at home every two weeks) instead of two-hour infusions at the downtown hospital (and parking challenges) every two months. A nurse told me I’d get used to stabbing myself. Stay tuned.

I’ve made peace with fibromyalgia. As long as I give it three naps a day, it usually allows me 3-4 hours between to write and get household things done. (That was before I bumped into Crohn’s, but I’m hopeful it will return. )My Favorite Guy is in the middle of his own health challenges, but we live in a comfortable home and we have each other. We are blessed.

These days I’m praying for physical and writing energy to return. Leaning into being joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

 

A Good Book for Gold Star Mother’s Day

“Today is Gold Star Mother’s Day,” wrote author Dennis Peterson, “a day to commemorate and honor all the mothers who paid the nation the highest honor of giving their sons or daughters in the service of the country. Their sacrifices have given us our freedom. 

“Too often we fail to give our servicemen and servicewomen the recognition they deserve. We tend to take for granted those who gave all for our country. Those who died in our country’s service. But even more often, we totally forget that those brave men and women who gave their all had mothers who also gave dearly for us. They are the ones we honor on this special day that few know about.

“Today, I’d like to take this opportunity to put in a word of recommendation that you read two special books by one special lady. The books are Leora’s Letters and What Leora Never Knew by Joy Neal Kidney.

“Leora was Joy’s grandmother, and she was a Gold Star Mother–three times in the same war. Joy, Leora’s oldest granddaughter, became the family’s historian, the keeper of the family’s legacy. She hadn’t had the privilege of knowing her uncles who died, but she wanted to know them, so she began a long process of researching their stories, using numerous letters and documents that Leora had kept hidden away.

“Leora’s Letters tells the story of love and loss for an Iowa family during World War II. What Leora Never Knew tells of Joy’s quest for answers. And she found them, things that her grandmother never knew. I’ve read both of them, and I highly recommend that you read them, too. You’ll never look at Gold Star Mothers the same afterward because you’ll experience vicariously through the books the anxiety, the worry, the heartache of not knowing, and the devastation of finally getting the dreaded news that a son, and eventually three sons, would not be returning home.

“If you know another Gold Star Mother, thank her today for the sacrifice she made in giving her son or daughter in the service of our country. And read Joy Kidney’s books.”

—–

Dennis L. Peterson is the author of several books, including Dillon’s War about his uncle Dillon Summers, a driver for artillery forward observers of the 391st Armored Field Artillery Battalion, 3rd Armored Division. Check out Dennis’s Amazon Author Page for his other worthy books. Here is his website. 

I was introduced to Dennis’s writing through his compelling memoir Unto the Hills: Stories of Growing up in Rural East Tennessee. The stories he has recorded for Our American Stories are just delightful to listen to. Check them out here.

I’m grateful to Dennis for sharing this Gold Star Mothers Day post.

A live Lion up in a Balloon?

From Leora Goff Wilson’s memoir: “And attending the Guthrie County Fair was a highlight, too. Usually we took our dinner, as so many families did–fried chicken always and sandwiches, cake or cookies, and a jug of lemonade. If we had a dime to spend we were happy, and if a quarter, we were rich. One great thing at the county fair was the balloon ascension. It was exciting in the early days. Sometimes the man  would have a lion or tiger with him when the balloon went up. He would release the animal with a parachute when  not far up. We lived south of town and could see the balloon when it got high, when it released the smoke and gas, from our home 6 miles south.”

I was skeptical about the lion and had not been able to confirm her claim until this ad for the 1909 Audubon County Fair: “A live Lion up in a Balloon! What do you think of it? Going to an enormous height and descending in a parachute every afternoon between the hours of two and five o’clock. Prof. Robinson goes up with the Lion and they come down in different parachutes.”

This may have been a side endeavor of the John Robinson Circus, which toured from 1842 to 1911, one of the longest running family owned circuses in the US. It was owned and managed by four generations of John Robinsons.”

One of the Robinsons must have toured as Professor Robinson and his “live lion up in a balloon” must have made the circuit of Iowa, and maybe other, county fairs, at least in 1909.

This was before TV and radio, so families came up with their own entertainment or looked forward to fairs and circuses, Chautauqua, Independence Day gatherings, amusement parks, and even the Iowa State Fair.

Leora Goff, 8th grade graduation, 1907, Audubon County, Iowa

See more stories from Grandma Leora’s early life in Leora’s Early Years: Guthrie County Roots. The Goff family lived in Audubon County for six years, when she rode a horse into Audubon for piano lessons, graduated from 8th Grade, the whole family rode into Audubon for Independence Day festivities, and when wind blew away their corn crop so they planted sweetcorn for the first time.

Here’s another story about the Goff family enjoying a circus.

Surviving Sue–a resilient survival story

Surviving Sue by Dr. Vicki Atkinson

Book Blurb: “Surviving Sue” is a heart-wrenching story about the torment of keeping secrets, told from the daughter’s perspective. She navigates her mother’s mental health and addiction issues, while trying to shield and protect her disabled sister.

“Surviving Sue” is about the power of storytelling to build resiliency, and a guidebook for others who struggle with complex family issues including Alzheimer’s, depression, alcoholism, developmental and physical disabilities.

My Thoughts

The author survived 54 years of living with her mother Sue who, year by year, sank into madness–alcoholism, pills, controlling and secret behavior, tirades, webs of lies, casting blame, even tethering a disabled daughter into it all. Not only has the author, Vicki Atkinson, emerged a still-healing survivor, she advocated for her mother for years, when she could, and for her disabled sister.

Vicki continues to share her story at speaking engagements and through her inspiring blog, Victoria Ponders. Her resilience and winsome sense of humor are inspirations to her readers and followers. She brings joy and encouragement to everyone she comes in contact with.

Vicki has degrees in counseling and psychology as well as a doctorate in adult education. What she successfully survived has made her an effective licensed professional counselor, as well as a leadership and life coach.

Her own adult daughter observed the mayhem her grandmother Sue inflicted, so Surviving Sue is helping the next generation–and also her followers–with a legacy of coming to terms with a family member with severe mental illness.

The Author

Dr. Atkinson (Vicki) earned degrees in counseling and psychology and a doctorate in adult education. Vicki is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) and a leadership and life coach in private practice. Vicki lives near Chicago with her husband Paul and her daughter, Delaney, who continues to be the light of her life. Vicki’s beloved sister with disabilities, Lisa, continues to thrive, delighting friends and family with her big heart and sense of humor.

Recently Vicki was a guest of John Busbee on The Culture Buzz. I think you would enjoy listening to their 15 minute interview.

Dr. Vicki Atkinson has a professional website for her Atkinson Group personal and professional development.

This beautiful book, like a meadowlark’s song floating across the Iowa plains, lingers—melancholic, inspiring, and completely human

Author Patricia Furstenberg from South Africa recommended and rated Meadowlark Songs Five Stars on BookBub. She wrote such a winsome review as well:

In Meadowlark Songs: A Motherline Legacy, Joy Neal Kidney serves as both a historian and a bard for her own bloodline, following the sinewy thread of maternal inheritance through seven generations of Iowa women. With surprising tenderness and an eye for the softly important moments of everyday life, she curates a lyrical history that is part memoir, part elegy, and part love letter to those who came before.

This isn’t a book about major events or political movements. Rather, it is a deep, resonant dive into the personal geography of family—cooking fires and quilt stitches, Sunday feasts and funeral hymns, meadowlarks’ songs and the weight of antique dinnerware. via the lives of Jane, Lucy, Emilia, Laura, Leora, Doris, and finally Joy herself, we see how strength, faith, sadness, and perseverance are passed down not only via mitochondrial DNA but also through gesture, memory, and example.

The themes of faith, adversity, and female agency recur throughout the story. This is especially evident in the lives of women like Leora Goff Wilson, who kept her family afloat during two world wars and the Great Depression, and Doris Neal, a lady shaped by hard times, sorrow, and resilience. These tales show how character is formed in the crucible of history, how hope is nurtured during difficult times, and how women pulled families together through sheer willpower and practical magic.

The book’s resonance is heightened by its poetic cadence. Kidney’s style frequently evokes the tenderness of hymnals and the seriousness of scripture—appropriate for a lineage that combines pioneer grit and calm grace. Her chapter titles sound like folk songs—”Meadowlarks and Prairie Roses,” “Faith,” “Eggs and Dandelion Greens,” “That Awful Feeling of Grief”—and the entire work is filled with the music of recollection.

Though based on a single family’s tale, this book conveys a universal truth: we are all the product of those who came before us, formed by their choices, guided by their ideals, and frequently inspired by the quiet courage of their lives.

Readers of family memoirs, American history buffs with a concentration on pioneer and Depression-era living, genealogists, women’s history lovers, and anybody who has ever turned the yellowing pages of an old photo book and wondered what happened to the people in those sepia photographs.

This beautiful book, like a meadowlark’s song floating across the Iowa plains, lingers—melancholic, inspiring, and completely human.

Patricia Furstenberg is an internationally published author of 19 books, celebrated for her evocative blend of historical fiction, folklore, and poetic storytelling. She lives between worlds — Romania and South Africa, folklore and fact, medicine and literature — crafting stories that explore human tenacity, historical nuance, and the enduring power of compassion. Whether writing for adults or children, her books invite readers to pause, reflect, and rediscover the extraordinary within the ordinary.

Patricia’s Author Page on BookBub

Budding Star Quilt

This is a near-twin to the quilt the Great Iowa Quilt Factory made for the Living History Farms quilt raffle during the 1980s. Mom liked it so well and bought a lot of tickets, but she didn’t win it. I told her I’d choose anything she wanted when my turn came up in the GIQF rotation. She helped pick out the fabrics.

The GIQF began piecing this (by hand) in March of 1987 and I set the sections together late that year. I enjoyed hand quilting it over several months, finishing it in March of 1990.

Shows: 1990: Stuart Care Center Quilt Show, Stuart, Iowa; Iowa State Fair (2nd Place, group quilts)

1993: Quilt Extravaganza IV, Hoyt Sherman Place, Des Moines, Iowa

I was the unofficial GIQF label stitcher, each with a miniature quilt square, the name of the quilt, the year, the owner, and that it is indeed an official Great Iowa Quilt Factory quilt, hand-stitched by 6-8 quilting friends.

How are those infusions supposed to help?

Crohn’s disease is a chronic (lifelong) autoimmune condition that inflames and irritates your digestive tract. It can’t be cured so I’m thankful I didn’t come down with it until recently. After a difficult spring, I finally got a diagnosis mid-May, but that sure didn’t solve anything.

Treatments typically help manage symptoms. Steroids ease them for some sufferers. I tried three different ones, alone and in combination. Nothing. Prednisone made things worse, adding muscle weakness to the mix. Meanwhile, I was seen by a physician with more experience. I’m so thankful for the change. It was a miserable spring and summer, and led to trying an infusion next.

My first dose of Inflectra/Remicade was finally at the end of July.  It’s a biologic that blocks proteins that are the key drivers of the painful inflammation. It didn’t last the two weeks I had to wait for the next one, so I was skeptical. I just had the third one after another bumpy month (every couple of days, I needed to fall back to liquids and BRAT (banana-rice-applesauce-toast), and–if we needed to go somewhere–lots of Pepto Bismol tabs. But “episodes” aren’t as painful, so I’m starting to feel hopeful!

These biologics can also cause serious side effects. So does the pill I take to keep my body from rejecting the infusion. But I’m so thankful for this welcome relief.

I was feeling more hopeful than I look here. The machine at left takes blood pressure. The IV drip is in the upper right.

The first infusion took about four hours, probably harder on my Favorite Guy than me. The infusion itself drips for about two hours, but they need to weigh me each time because that determines how much I’ll be given. That’s sent to the pharmacy, which has my prescription. I’m set up in a comfy chair that heats, get fitted with an IV on top of my forearm, and take Benadryl and Tylenol by mouth. (The first time, the Benadryl was by IV and I was groggy for two days.)

Once the little bag arrives from the pharmacy and is hooked up to the IV, regular temp and blood pressure checks begin. Every 15 minutes, the unit beeps and the rate of drops increases, along with recording my temp and BP.

This shows the screen that the nurses consult and update every 15 minutes. My Favorite Guy’s chair isn’t quite as comfy as mine, so he often heads out for a walk.

We’re offered sack lunches, which helps Guy with the waiting. I can’t have gluten, so I get a bag of chips. I’m too groggy to read, but half a dozen friendly nurses rotate through the area as several units beep for attention. There were about ten patients undergoing the treatment.

Infusions are given for several ailments, including arthritis and MS. I don’t know anyone else personally with Crohn’s, but it seems like everyone knows someone dealing with it.

Thank God for modern medicine and nurses who know how to run these modern gadgets. And for a young MD whom I get to see again in about 10 days, for the first time since the infusions began. (She did call me after the first one.) She should have plenty of numbers from extra lab tests and the infusions to decide how my cells are handling it all, and how soon I’ll receive another one.

I’ve been able to eat eggs, roasted sweet potato, leftover pot roast (frozen from our last time at the Machine Shed Restaurant), and a little tuna salad three days in a row–for the first time in months. I’m exhausted so I can tell my body is under stress, but I praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Granddaughter Kate owns the twin to the little chipmunk. I offered her both, but she likes the idea of both of us having one.

I certainly appreciate your prayers, well wishes, and a sweet gift from a Leora fan from Guthrie County who is also a bee-keeper!

Update from this morning: Well, I’m back on liquids and BRAT today, but I’m still hopeful and grateful.

Dan Walsh’s Gilded Secrets Series

Gilded Secrets Series

If you enjoy historical novels that include compelling characters wrestling with complex issues, you’ll enjoy Dan Walsh’s two-book Gilded Secrets Series. Scandal at the Belmont was just published August 30. 

The Perfect Stranger

Book Blurb: It is the spring in New York City, 1912, and Lily Whitaker, a wealthy young socialite, is in love. While serving at a ministry to the poor in her church, she meets a handsome young businessman. Charles Bennington moved to New York from San Francisco 10 years ago with just the clothes on his back. But he’s worked hard, taken every advantage the good Lord’s provided and now owns a thriving business. He can hardly believe it when he caught Lily’s attention and, later, receives permission from her father to court her. Two months after that, he agrees to let Charles marry Lily, who’s overjoyed at the news. Charles secures first-class tickets for their honeymoon on the return voyage back to England on the RMS Titanic. Like the ill-fated ship, something happens that threatens to sink their plans and turn both their lives upside down. Is the wedding now off? Will Charles lose everything and be forced to take a train back to San Francisco?

My reaction: The Perfect Stranger is compelling historical novel with themes of secrets, betrayal, compassion, love, integrity, forgiveness set in the days train travel and of the renowned Titanic. I especially enjoyed the character of Nigel Whitaker, the father of the heroine Lily.

—–

Scandal at the Belmont

Book Blurb: It’s New York, the summer of 1914.
A shocking murder.
A wrongful arrest.
A city built on secrets.
A man who won’t back down.In the final golden days of the Gilded Age, before the world tilts toward World War I, Charles Bennington is a man with everything to lose. Two years after marrying the woman he loves, Lily Whitaker, he’s finally carved out the life he once only dreamed of—until a single phone call shatters the illusion. Her brother Cedric has just discovered a body…and the police believe he put it there. Charles never imagined he’d be fighting to save his brother-in-law from the electric chair. As a scandal erupts at the Hotel Belmont, Charles finds himself caught in a web of secrets, lies, and political corruption stretching to the highest levels of the Empire City. With the police unwilling to look any further, Charles is determined to clear Cedric’s name. He begins a perilous search, willing to risk everything to expose a truth that powerful men will kill to protect..My reaction: “Scandal at the Belmont” was the newspaper headline after the murder at the Hotel Belmont owned by Charles Bennington’s father-in-law. Charles’s brother-in-law is arrested for the murder–of his best friend. Everything points to his guilt, unless someone digs deeper–through corrupt webs of city government and power, and a family who believes in providential intervention. Scandal at the Belmont is a very satisfying historical novel..Dan Walsh

Dan Walsh is the bestselling author of 30 faith-based novels (all available on Amazon), including The Unfinished Gift (soon to become a movie), Rescuing Finley, When Night Comes, and The Reunion (also becoming a movie soon). Over 1.9 million copies of Dan’s books are in print or downloaded. They’ve received over 67,000 Amazon Reviews (4.7 Star Avg). He’s won both the Carol and Selah Awards multiple times, 4 of his novels have been finalists for RT Reviews Inspirational Novel of the Year.

Reviewers often remark about Dan’s rich, character-driven storylines and page-turning suspense (even with his inspirational books). He’s been writing full-time since 2010. He and his wife Cindi have been married 48 years, have 2 grown children and 6 grandchildren. They live in the Daytona Beach area, where Dan grew up. You can follow him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, read his blog, or preview all his books on Amazon, or by visiting his website. He says they’re all easy to find on Google.

By following Dan Walsh on social media, you’ll learn he also has an adorable King Charles Spaniel named Finley.

I enjoyed this recent interview of Dan on A Writer’s Day Podcast, with fascinating backstory for his newest book.

“Daughtered Out”

The Neal girls’ quartet singing “Me and My Shadow” for the Bill Riley Talent Scouts program at the Earlham school in 1962. Bill Neal’s daughters are Jane and Judy in the middle. I’m on the left end, with my sister Gloria on the right–we’re Warren’s daughters.

While doing genealogy I ran into the term “daughtered out” and realized that term defined what happened to the Neals who descend from Kenneth and Ruby Neal.

This was especially important in passing along a family surname or inheritable property. If your father had only daughters, his line was daughtered out. Or if your father had only sisters, or brothers who all failed to produce male children, those daughters would lose their original surname when they got married.

Kenneth and Ruby Neal had two sons and three daughters who grew to adulthood and produced children. Both Dad (Warren) and Uncle Bill had two daughters and no sons.

Lts. Warren and Willis (Bill) Neal, Dallas County, Iowa, 1945. (Grandma’s crisscross curtains in the window.)

Both brothers served as pilots during World War II, returned to find farms to buy (three miles apart in NW Madison County, Iowa, south of Dexter), and never talked about the war. (Dad was an advanced instructor until near the end of the war, but Uncle Bill flew thirteen missions “over the Hump.”)

Most of the pictures we girls are in are with more “Neal cousins,” (with last names of Wells, Shepherd, and Beaman). I’m the oldest. Judy was born before her dad could get back from India and the Red Cross hadn’t reached him to let him know he had a baby girl. Jane and Gloria will turn 80 next July.

We Neal girls were used to being mixed up with each other. Gloria even went by her middle name (Jean), which made it more confusing.

When I was working on Meadowlark Songs, I couldn’t find anything about a family being “sonned out”–ending a motherline with only a son, like ours is. Guess it’s not a big deal inheritance-wise anymore.

Daughtered Out

The Neal girls’ quartet singing “Me and My Shadow” for the Bill Riley Talent Scouts program at the Earlham school in 1962. Bill Neal’s daughters are Jane and Judy in the middle. I’m on the left end, with my sister Gloria on the right–we’re Warren’s daughters.

While doing genealogy I ran into the term “daughtered out” and realized that term defined what happened to the Neals who descend from Kenneth and Ruby Neal.

This was especially important in passing along a family surname or inheritable property. If your father had only daughters, his line was daughtered out. Or if your father had only sisters, or brothers who all failed to produce male children, those daughters would lose their original surname when they got married.

Kenneth and Ruby Neal had two sons and three daughters who grew to adulthood and produced children. Both Dad (Warren) and Uncle Bill had two daughters and no sons.

Lts. Warren and Willis (Bill) Neal, Dallas County, Iowa, 1945. (Grandma’s crisscross curtains in the window.)

Both brothers served as pilots during World War II, returned to find farms to buy (three miles apart in NW Madison County, Iowa, south of Dexter), and never talked about the war. (Dad was an advanced instructor until near the end of the war, but Uncle Bill flew thirteen missions “over the Hump.”)

Most of the pictures we girls are in are with more “Neal cousins,” (with last names of Wells, Shepherd, and Beaman). I’m the oldest. Judy was born before her dad could get back from India and the Red Cross hadn’t reached him to let him know he had a baby girl. Jane and Gloria will turn 80 next July.

We Neal girls were used to being mixed up with each other. Gloria even went by her middle name (Jean), which made it more confusing.

When I was working on Meadowlark Songs, I couldn’t find anything about a family being “sonned out”–ending a motherline with only a son, like ours is. Guess it’s not a big deal inheritance-wise anymore.