Paula R.C. Readman's Blog, page 11

A Little Help From A Friend

Daily writing promptWhat is the last thing you learned?View all responses

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”

― Eleanor Roosevelt

Today has been a strange day. Yesterday, I felt lost, disheartened and about to throw the towel in as far as writing was concerned. I suddenly felt as though I was kidding myself that I had something important to say when it came to my writing. I wanted to hide away, keep my head down and forget all about it. There are millions of far better writers in this world, so no one will miss me.

On a Thursday morning in our local library, the village Walking Group meets. I joined the group because my walking friend has been abroad for the last five months. This morning, I was in two minds about whether to go, because I was feeling out of sorts. After seeing and hearing on the news and Facebook that it is World Book Day, and that school children were to dress up as a character from a book, I decided to dress up as Granny Wenlock, a character from my book The Funeral Birds. I thought it would be fun and would put a smile on my new friends’ faces.

When I arrived at the library, there was laughter when they said they hadn’t received the new dress code. I laughed and said I’ve joined the children for this World Book Day and dressed as my favourite book character. Then Hazel, who runs the group, introduced us to two new members. One was a young man. He sat nervously at the end of the sofa, looking more lost than I felt. Judith explained to him that I was a writer and I was dressed up as my character. I handed him one of my cards and explained that my books were available through the library.

‘Please can you explain how the library works,’ he said. Between myself and the librarian we explained how once he brought in some identification, they would issue him with a card. He would be able to borrow books from the library. I said, if the books he wanted weren’t in the library, they would order a copy for him. The librarian explained he could borrow books from any of the Essex libraries and when he finished reading them he could bring them into our library and they would return them for him.

As we set off for our walk, the young lad walked along with me. He explained that he was autistic and wasn’t coping well with life. I explained that I was autistic and was my mother, too. We chatted as we walked. He shared some of the area of his life with me, things he was worried about and how he had found Christianity. I smiled and said, that was good. If he found comfort in it.

As we all sat in the library after our walk, he began to tell me he was afraid of witchcraft and black magic, that he reads the bible and has started to go to Church. I explained to him that there are no such things as witches or the black arts. Witches were persecuted elderly women and men. People like Mathew Hopkins, the Witchfinder General were paid money to find so-called witches. In the time when witches were supposed to exist, people didn’t understand the science of how things worked in the way, we do today. There were such people as wise women who understood the power of healing plants, etc.

He then asked the four of us whether we thought it was okay for him to pray to God as he believed in him. We all said of course if you wish to pray, then pray.

I’m a non-believer, but if others find strength and comfort in praying to a divine being then I’m all for it. For me, I find my peace walking with Mother Nature, and enjoying the gifts she gives us. The birds and the butterflies, the sunrise and sunsets.

The young man seemed to find some peace, and was a lot happier and less lost when it was time to leave. ‘Thank you for listening to me,’ he said, ‘My mum is always too busy, she gets very stressed.’

I laughed. ‘My son used to say the same about me when he was young. I’m just glad that I’ve been of some help to you.’

We all told him we hoped he would join us next week and Judith said she would see him in church on Sunday. She hoped he would join Joan and her in prayers to save my soul.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

From a Child of The Universe, may I wish you peace with your God, whoever you conceive him to be.

So You’re Still Working on That Book?

Daily writing promptWhat is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.View all responses

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

― Bernard Cornwall

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Writing isn’t just about putting words down, it’s about getting them in the right order. Yes, the first draft is about writing the whole story out so you can start the real process of editing.

If you are serious about writing to a high standard, and are wanting to stand out from the crowd you won’t want to rush. Yes, I understand if you have a deadline breathing down your neck or you have to produce seven novels a year then the way I work won’t be for you.

Like all writers, I’m sure, I want my writing style to be original. I want my readers to know they are getting a well-thought-out story, an original tale. This all takes time. Ideas don’t come fully formed, but come slowly, step by step, word by word. I don’t like to leave threads dangling. Anything added at the beginning of my story must have a place at the end.

You don’t actually have to write anything until you’ve thought it out. This is an enormous relief, and you can sit there searching for the point at which the story becomes a toboggan and starts to slide.

 – Marie de Nervaud

I need a thinking time when my mind is free to develop the storyline, create characters, etc while I writing. I’m not a plotter. I have a basic idea of where the story might go, who the main characters are and a timeline. i.e. is the story taking place over an hour, a week, a year or ten years. If my last story is told from a female’s point of view I like to swap to a male’s point of view next time. I like to keep it interesting for myself when I’m writing.

I don’t believe that a writer ‘gets’ (takes into the head) an ‘idea’ (some sort of mental object) ‘from’ somewhere, and then turns it into words, and writes them on paper. At least in my experience, it doesn’t work that way. The stuff has to be transformed into oneself, it has to be composted, before it can grow into a story.

– Ursula le Guin (October 21, 1929 – January 22, 2018) an American author 

Of course, there are elements to writing that non-writers don’t understand. The constant flood of questions the author is answering in their head as the words flow. The back and forth of writing and rewriting sentences as you move forward in the process of telling the tale. How you can write five hundred words and then deleted two hundred and fifty because they don’t say what you want them to say.

The scariest moment is always just before you start.

– Stephen King

I like to keep my writing tight and my telling to the minimum. I prefer showing my readers the moon glinting off the broken glass, rather than telling them the moon was shining. Writing a novel is hard work, and there are moments when you are sure you are writing utter rubbish, and no one will want to read it. All those long hours spent trying to write to the best of your ability were time wasted. The problem with writing a novel is you can’t show someone halfway through and ask their opinion. You have to edit, rewrite, edit, and write until you have reached the point when you think it’s as near to damn perfect as you can get it.

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The problem is it never is perfect or finished. Most authors have learnt there’s a point where you have to step away. As soon as you have submitted it, you discover there was a point one of the characters was meant to make or an error you didn’t correct. I have learnt never to reread a Ms after you have submitted it. If it is rejected then reread it before submitting it again. If the novel is accepted the editor will be working with you, and they will want you to make changes.

In answer to the question, So you’re still working on that book?

Yes, I am. You do know they don’t just fall into my head fully formed, and I just write them down word by word?

Blame the Witch

“The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write: a man will turn over half a library to make one book.”

― Samuel Johnson, The Life of Samuel Johnson LL.D. Vol 2

Microsoft AI image. London Park

I’m 17k words into writing my seventh novel at the moment. The problem is I like to make sure I am historically correct, even though I’m writing fiction. For instance, I wrote, in 1645 that one of my characters was walking through a park in London to watch the people in their fine clothes promenading. Suddenly, it occurred to me were there such things as parks in London at that time. From what I have been able to uncover via a quick search on Google (according to Walking, Rambling and Promenading in eighteenth-century London: literary and Cultural history – Alison F. O’Byne 2003) Yes indeed, there was St. James’ Park. The park was newly opened to the public for walking. It was a place to be seen and be seen. Promenading was a way to show off your fine clothes and mix with polite society.

Walking in the parks allowed all classes of society to mix from tradesmen, shopkeepers and even low life as a poem from that time tells us: Whores… Great Ladies, chamber-maids, and drudges. The rag-picker and heiress… Carr-men, divines, great lords, and taylors, Prentices, poets, pimps, gaolers; foot-men, fine fops. It wasn’t just the poets who had fun writing about the mix of people promenading in the great park of London. Comedic play-wrights at that time used the setting to write about sexual intrigue and assignation.

While studying the era, in which I’m writing, I came across another interesting document called Dearth and English Revolution Harvest Crisis which highlights the problems Britain was suffering in 1645 – 50. At this time in England, the country was still caught up in the English Civil War between the Royalists, who were wealthy supporters of King Charles I and his son, Charles II of England, and the Roundheads (aka Parliamentarians) were the supporters of the Parliament of England. The Roundheads wanted a constitutional monarchy in place of the absolute monarchy sought by Charles II.

Like in Britain today, back in 1645, the price of food and goods was rising fast due to the economic slump from the English Civil War, along with a political crisis, and popular protest. Amidst all this, something much darker was happening as well. Someone had to be blamed for the failing crops, and the fact that the poor were forced to sell their bedding or wearing apparel to make ends meet. The number of hungry poor was growing daily as England was slipping into the shadow of famine.

AI Created image.

Bad weather had ruined the harvests of corn and hay for five years from the autumn of 1646 onwards and every succeeding year until the harvest of 1651 exacerbated the problems left by the previous ones. Grain crops were destroyed by summer rains in 1648 and by summer drought in 1649, and the frost of the particularly harsh intervening spring was so devastating to the winter corn crop that livestock perished in the fields. Cattle plague and sheep rot spread among farming communities. People travelled from village to village hoping to buy food to feed their families only to find residents were no better off.

As wages fell and prices rose it created the perfect storm. Essex clergyman Ralph Josselin, of Earls Colne, wrote in his diary on the 15th of September 1646 that the wheat harvest was ‘exceedingly smitten and dwindled and rank‘. By October, he wrote about the price of butter, cheese, and meat as being very dear. In the following year, all things continued to be expensive and by August, provisions were scarce to be gotten for our money. Over the following year, Josselin reported that beggars were many, and givers were few. Soon the failed harvests and other such calamities were interpreted by the church and state to reinforce a social order on the poor and uneducated as punishment visited on a sinful populace by the wrathful God.

During this time, there was a lack of understanding, especially scientific knowledge, as to why a cow, pig, or sheep suddenly dies; to why crops might fail because of blight. Alternaria alternata is a type of fungus whose spores overwinter on infected plant debris left in the soil, or they arrive on infected seeds. The spores, called conidia, spread to lower stems and foliage by water splashing, either from rain or irrigation. If the plant surface remains wet for 5 to 10 hours, spores germinate to infect the plant. The disease thrives in warm summer temperatures, spreading best in the 75° to 85°F range. Since early blight requires a long period of wetness, high humidity plays a key role as well. It is easy for us, with the internet in our pocket, to snap a picture of a dying plant in our vegetable plot and identify why our crop is failing.

Matthew Hopkins Witch Finder General AI Created image.

Back in 1645-50 you just looked for a scapegoat. An elderly lady sitting outside her hovel, with thin and sunken cheeks from lack of food, mumbling to herself must be cursing the villagers because that is why their crops are failing. Maybe her vegetable plot has been spared and is green and healthy because she always feeds them fresh soil and digs in manure. And what of her cat, don’t witches have familiars?

In 1645 Matthew Hopkins and his assistants travelled throughout Essex, Suffolk, Norfolk and Huntingdonshire doing his wicked work. Matthew Hopkins was your original Influencer as there had been a drop in persecution of witches after 1603. Then 1644 when Hopkins, an unknown lawyer with a practice in Manningtree in the north of Essex set off on his cruel mission. In March 1644, Hopkins wrote his ‘Discovery of Witches’ book in which he claimed he had uncovered some seven or eight horrible sect of witches living in Manningtree, with adjacent witches from other towns. Every six weeks on a Friday night their held a meeting close to his house, where they offered several solemn sacrifices to the devil.

The eight witches of Manningtree were arrested, tried, condemned to death and hanged. Matthew Hopkins was paid twenty shillings a time to get rid of witches, so the more he found the more he was paid. Evil gossip spread like wildfire as spiteful neighbours, damning evidence arising from medical ignorance helped to condemn eccentric old ladies to death. No one was safe.

In all honesty, witches never existed, only in the minds of uneducated people. Hopkins and other witchfinders were making money from the persecution of women, especially the vulnerable. Now if you are talking about wise, knowledgeable women of the village who had an understanding of healing, the knowledge of plants etc. These women did exist and their knowledge has been taken from us, because of the likes of Hopkins.

I hope you enjoy reading what I have uncovered in my research so far. Now I’m off the continue writing my seventh book.

Chat again soon.

Learning to Trust My Instincts

Daily writing promptWhat experiences in life helped you grow the most?View all responses

“Trust instinct to the end, even though you can give no reason.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson May 25, 1803 – April 27, 1882)

I was in an unhappy marriage, without any means of supporting myself, or my young son, with no future before me.

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My mother, was married to my father for 21 years until he walked away from his family. I didn’t want to find myself in the same position, so I made a plan. Little by little, I took back my own identity. First, I stopped using my married name, changing my driver’s license, etc., back to my maiden name. Then, when my son reached the age of five and was starting to go to school, I got a job so I could pay for a divorce.

I knew life would be tough, but I trusted my instincts.

It paid off. I became far happier and my son, too who still had regular contact with his father. If I hadn’t trusted my instincts and jumped with both feet, I wouldn’t be sitting here today writing this.

After working hard at raising my son, clearing debts, and finding myself being made redundant three times in my working life, I finally decided to take my life in a different direction. Once again, I had to believe in my gut feeling, my instincts.

Could I become a published novelist when I didn’t understand how basic English grammar worked.

One day, while I sat working in a factory, surrounded by foreign workers for whom English was a second language, I found myself asking them how to spell a certain word. It struck me how crazy it was that I didn’t know or understand my own language. To have a Polish worker look down her nose at me and say, ‘But in Poland, we are taught English Grammar, and here in England, you leave school not understanding it.’

Our school system, like our schools are broken. Our children should be educated to a high standard. We should have the best schools and teachers that Britain can afford, rather than spending 3.6 billion a year (according to information from the UK Houses of Parliament site) in housing illegal migrants in this country. Once again, I’m back shouting about the importance of giving children a basic good education of writing, reading and maths so they can make choices in later life, as well as educate their own children.

Trust your instincts, believe in yourself and follow your dream. Create and ride your own wave. If you fall off, jump straight back and ride. No matter how long it takes you to achieve your dream.

I know my writing isn’t perfect yet. I’m still learning how to write the perfect story. I’m not even sure if I fully understand how English Grammar works, but I can see how far I have come.

Thank you for dropping by and I look forward to reading your comments.

The decision is yours.

Daily writing promptDo you believe in fate/destiny?View all responses

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fate and destiny are ours for the taking. You have to decide what you want out of life, and then go for it. Life is all about the decisions you make at any given moment. A split-second choice between one decision and another.

How many times have you heard yourself say, If I hadn’t done this, that would not have happened.

Call it whatever you want. Fate, destiny or written in the stars. Just don’t sit around waiting for something to change in your life, make it happen.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

― William Shakespeare

Life is just a journey, but you are in control. You can take the easy route and play safe, or you can have an adventure. Don’t look for excuses for why you can’t take a certain route, and live your best life. We can all blame others, but at the end of our lives, we only have ourselves to blame for not being strong enough to make the changes we needed to make.

So put your best foot forward, and create your own destiny.

Have a great weekend.

Letting Go.

Daily writing promptDescribe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.View all responses

“A person who publishes a book willfully appears before the populace with his pants down. If it is a good book nothing can hurt him. If it is a bad book nothing can help him.”

― Edna St. Vincent Millay Poet 1892-1950

When you have spent years learning how to write to be published. Then spent as many years suffering rejection after rejection on not just one book, but two. You reach a point way you feel like giving up, and can’t be bothered to write down any more submission details because you know you’re going to mark it REJECTED in capital letters yet again. So you convince yourself that now is a good time to focus on writing short stories because you’re no good at writing novels.

Yes, I could have said goodbye to rejection. Made it easier on my heart and soul by being published sooner. Taking the self-published route wasn’t the one I wanted to travel as an author. I needed to have validation from someone who didn’t know me personally, someone who read the submission, and believed it was good enough to invest both time and money into it.

Stone Angels was my third attempt at becoming a published author. The book was born out of a short story that was the overall winner in a writing competition. I knew from that win that I had the potential to become an author, but could I write a book good enough to be published.

Finally, the day came when I submitted my novel once again. It was a nervous goodbye and good luck. Click and it was gone.

When I received the acceptance for Stone Angels the anxiety really kicked in. After waiting for so long, I believed the excitement would override my nerves, but when the editing process started, I began to worry again. The next hurdle was the book launch. Would anyone buy it? If they did, would they like it?

Click here to find out details of all three of my novels

It was tough saying goodbye to my first novel. Launched during the beginning of the Covid lockdowns, so no big party to celebrate Stone Angels‘ release into the world. It was a case of sitting back and waiting to see whether the reviews would be good or bad.

Luckily, Stone Angels is selling well. Of course, I would love to sell hundreds even thousands, but as I’ve only been published since 2020 it takes time to build a readership. Once I have more books published, readers will hunt out my back catalogue.

After Stone Angels was published, the publisher went on to publish my first two novels. If you do check out my books. Thank you.

Thank you for reading my post, and leaving a comment.

Stay safe, and keep smiling.

Please allow me to introduce myself.

Daily writing promptIf you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?View all responses

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

― Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

It takes a lifetime to truly know oneself. We are so many different forms of ourselves to so many different people. We are daughters, sisters, mothers, wives, lovers, friends, colleagues, clients, patients, shoppers, and drivers. Then we are the other roles in life we take on, writer, artist, photographer, actor or maybe a career route we have taken like a teacher, dentist, nurse, doctor, factory worker, shop assistant, librarian etc.

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Personally, I’m happy to just be myself. I wouldn’t be comfortable stepping into anyone else’s shoes. If you never learn to love yourself, you will always be discontented. We can never become someone else. We can change the colour of our hair, wear different clothes, and change the pitch of our voice, and our accent. We can have plastic surgery, lose weight, gain weight and recreate ourselves to become an image of what we think others should perceive us to be, like actors in a film. Once the scene is over, and the camera stops filming, the night closes in and the makeup is removed, we are back to being ourselves again. That’s the time when we’re truly alone with ourselves and our thoughts.

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As the saying goes.

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts, WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

Just like an artist, poet and a writer will all experience the same view in three different ways. The artist will see lines, shadows, colours and tones. The poet will speak about the view from an emotional point of view. The writer will combine both the physical and the emotional so the reader can see and feel the view internally when they read about it.

To be happy with oneself means accepting ourselves for ourselves. When we come into this world, we are unique, an individual. This uniqueness sets us apart from others. Our journey through life is also unique to us as individuals. Yes, we all have the basic form, whether that be male or female, of the human species, but it is how we, as individuals, see, feel, and experience the world around us that also sets us apart from others.

In today’s world, everyone seems to be shouting about their feelings and giving their feelings shape, form, and names; my pronouns are my feelings, which are as changeable as the weather. Their feelings should be validated by everyone else, but they seem to forget. We all have our own set of feelings and emotions that we don’t wear on our sleeves for everyone to see.

So be yourself. Remember always, if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter. For there will always be a greater and lesser person than yourself. Enjoy your achievements no matter how humble they may seem to you. Strive to be happy with yourself.

Thank you for dropping by and reading today’s post.

I look forward to reading your comments.

Who Me? Write a book, Impossible.

Daily writing promptDescribe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.View all responses

“A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”

― Thomas Mann, Essays of Three Decades

Being poorly educated because of dyslexia. I was unable to string a sentence together and did not understand the basic rules of English Grammar even though English is my native language. I always believed you had to have a university education to be able to write a book and be published. So for someone like me, it seemed an impossible dream.

At 39 years old, working full-time in a factory, to support my young son, and with no spare money for creative writing courses, I decided to teach myself from books. I felt if third-world country students could learn from books, then why couldn’t I.

Of course, it took me longer to learn this way, because I didn’t have anyone to ask, but still, I’m proud of what I have achieved so far. So if you have a dream. Believe anything is possible, with hard work and dedication your dream will come true.

Now all I want to do is take it to the next level. Maybe I’ll see my best-selling book cover on the side of a London bus, or on the New York Best Sellers list. And why not? Just keep moving one step at a time forward. Remember, you’re not competing with anyone else, just yourself.

Time to Write.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

― Ernest Hemingway

Martha Wenlock aka Granny Wenlock (The Funeral Birds (A.I. Created Image)

At last Martha Wenlock is talking to me. It’s not that we fell out, it’s just that we weren’t singing from the same song sheet. My nerves got the better of me, which meant I was overthinking how to make a great opening chapter rather than just writing and seeing where the story takes me with the first draft.

Writing a novel with the same characters should really be straight forward but I was left feeling concerned that 1) I would be writing the Funeral Birds again, but in a longer book. 2) Readers who loved The Funeral Birds would expect another humorous book.

When I wrote The Funeral Birds I never set out to make it funny. My character was based on my wonderful neighbours, Dave and Joan. A mature couple with a great sense of humour. Joan, an avid reader, has always been very supportive of my writing and proofread all my early work. She was a devil, with a red pen and underlined anything she didn’t understand. She was always honest if she didn’t like something. I love Joan’s no-nonsense Yorkshire attitude to life. She calls a spade a spade, so you know exactly what she thinks of a story or a novel. When Joan read The Funeral Birds she loved it. It started as an entry into a BBC short story competition, but it didn’t get anywhere.

Dave and Joan Cavendish and
Granny Martha Wenlock (A.I. Created image)

For a few years, it sat on my computer and Joan would occasionally ask if I had resubmitted it. My answer was always no. Then one day, a writing friend of mine sent a link for the guidelines for a small publisher called Demain who published novellas. I hunted out The Mourning Birds as the story was originally called, and made it longer to fit the guidelines. I worried whether it was what they were looking for as Demain specialises in horror stories. Although my writing is on the darker side of life, I don’t write horror, but more chilling tales.

I was delighted when the Funeral Birds was accepted and published in 2020. Unfortunately, I never got the book launch I always dreamt of having when my first book was published. I had to settle with an online one because we were in the middle of the first Covid lockdown. The Funeral Birds has sold well and is enjoyed by many readers.

In the novel I want to explore more of Martha’s life and give the reader more insight into why she became Dave’s voice of reason. The new book will be called As The Crow Flies because I want to keep a bird theme linking the books. I have a few ideas for future books, but I will see what the publisher thinks of this one first.

After discovering how to use Ai Picture Creator, I thought I would see if I could create an image of Granny Wenlock, Dave, and Joan. After fine-tuning my request, I managed to create a couple of images that look like my characters. Granny’s cottage wouldn’t be as large as the one in the picture, but Ai didn’t like the word Hovel meaning a small, squalid, or poorly constructed dwelling.

If you haven’t read the short story yet, please check it out. Here’s the link Thank you, if you do drop by to read it.

I’m over 15k words into the novel and new ideas are starting to bubble to the surface. I think I have the right tone for the story, which had been a stumbling block before, but I’m pass that point now. I have a few other points to iron out, but instead of worrying about them now, I’m just focusing on writing the first draft.

I wrote this blog last night ready for this morning. Writing a blog post takes me quite a while to create because I have to double-check everything and then check again. This morning when I checked Amazon, I found The Funeral Birds have jumped up the Amazon charts. I do hope this means someone new has bought a copy. Of course, I would love it to be more, but one new reader is just as important.

Thank you so much for dropping by and reading my post.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Don’t Believe in Walt Disney, Life isn’t a fairy tale.

Daily writing promptWhat advice would you give to your teenage self?View all responses

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.”

― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays

Life isn’t like a Walt Disney fairy tale, but more like the original Grimm’s’ tales. No prince on a white charger will come to sweep you off your feet. You need to stand on your own two, and take the highs with the lows. Forget about romance, and be more practical.

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No matter what the world may say about women having more rights now, be assured we don’t. Get a good education. If you can’t get into college or afford to go to university, read. Join a library, do evening classes. Start working as early as possible. Open your own bank account and save whenever possible, no matter how small the amount. Rainy days do come, and quite often, too.

As for a girl has the right to wear whatever she wants, forget it, put your safety first. It’s still a man’s world. Don’t trust anyone, we all wear masks to hide our true selves when first getting to know others.

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Built true friendships, and this doesn’t mean online or through text messages. Remember words are cheap and pretty. Actions speak louder than words every time. Join clubs and groups where you can meet people with the same interests as you. Things like art, writing, books and history groups, that meet up once a week. Getting to know people through social interaction is far better to build a long-term relationship than just chatting over the internet. Safety in numbers, too.

In today’s world everyone has a sob story, so don’t get taken in. Everyone is short on cash so never be a lender or a borrower. Pay your bills on time. If you can’t afford it, go without until you can. Prevention is better than cure. Look after your health. Eat well. Enjoy the odd glass of wine, but avoid drugs and smoking at all costs. Live each day as though it is your last, and have plenty of good sleep. Burning the candle at both ends will age you quickly.

Don’t believe in advertisements, or online influencers remember they are trying to sell you something. Believe in your own self-worth. Anything is possible if you keep believing, work hard and are dedicated enough. Ride your own wave, be true to yourself, and create your own style. You are a child of the universe. Don’t compare yourself to others. Strive to be happy.

Don’t rush into marriage just so you can wear a white dress. Buy a house first, before having children. Better still buy a house first, travel and then get married and have children. A contented mother who has experience in life will educate her children much better and give them security, too.

Remember it’s only in ads that a man will dive of a cliff and swim through sharks to bring you chocolates

When the time comes to fall in love, choose wisely. Find someone who has the same values in life as yourself. They must see you as their equal. Speak your truth, quietly and clearly and see if they value your opinion, or do they talk over you? If they don’t listen to you before you’re married they certainly won’t listen to you afterwards. You must be strong, and remember, marry in haste, repent at leisure, you’ll have a lot to lose.

Be kind to yourself. Mistakes will be made along the way. Take a deep breath and learn from them. You will grow stronger from the experience and recognise where you can make improvements next time. Remember, you’ll never stop learning. Look for beauty in the natural world. Keep on laughing because it’s good for your mind as well as the body.

Remember to smile every day. The world is still beautiful and life is precious.

Thank you for dropping by to read and leave a comment.

Have a great weekend.