Sara Ellie MacKenzie's Blog, page 16

While I Have a Moment...

Social media has been wonderful. I can post these little blurbs and people can like, comment, and share. It does little for the state of mind I live in.

I am not trying to get too personal. I do have a lot doing on, like any normal person. But I feel a blog can clarify some things, like what I am doing in greater detail. I have mentioned writing my grandfather's story already. For those waiting for the next book in the current series, Revolution and the sequels are being worked on as we speak. I also have a private project and another someone asked me for (amongst many other little side projects people give me or I am making up).

This year, I am actually unsure if I am releasing anything. I felt like this will be a year of marketing and calming down. I set myself a strict schedule with Through the Meadow, and I almost missed it, to be honest. I put my wheel to the grindstone and I got it out in JUST under a year. And to think, midway through, I thought that the book was too big and the undertaking was too much!

Plus, there are the events I announced. After four years, I managed to get two here in New Britain, for the spring and summer. I am still accepting authors and those publishing on or before December 31, 2023. Trinity-on-Main and the VFW are excited to be hosting these events! If you are interested in sponsoring, marketing, or having a table, please let me know! My contact info is all over this website and social media.

If anything else comes about this year, it will be an utter surprise. My goal is to maybe get the first part of my grandfather's story and Revolution out by next year. Compared to the goals I had in 2021, when Casting Shadows came out, I think this is more reasonable.

Right now, with the heavy rain, I still have a flooded basement. Calvin will be out of school later this afternoon. Brian is off to work until later tonight. And here I am, in my basement office, hoping that my rug will dry out and I can relax for a minute...

As a parent, there is never such luck. LOL Happy Friday, everyone. Have a great day!

#NewBritainChick #GoingLocal #Events #Organizing #TiredMom #HereWeGoAgain #Updates #HappyFriday

#FindOutFriday Answers 1

Happy Friday, everyone! Welcome to the first #FindOutFriday, the sequel to this week's #TriviaTuesday. Here are the answers. To note: some spoilers are below.

Anne Boleyn - I based Jayne Brutrose's appearance, nastier attitude and fate on the second wife of Henry VIII. While I do believe she was innocent, Jayne was not, and Anne ruled as Queen Consort instead of full Queen and never had to face an actual battlefield. Catherine II of Russia - Archbishop Bray brought hope with inoculation, similar to the smallpox vaccine. While I swear I wrote this before COVID, I can say that Catherine II brought me a subplot with her innovative step - how to kill a Queen before the gig was up. The Crusades - Christianity has been perverted in my books, so the idea of going on a world war against heathens is not a novel concept. The Crusades often fought for the control of the Holy City, Jerusalem, and used as many innocents that could be manipulated. The Gulf of Tonkin - The official start of the Vietnam War in 1964 was the basis of the start of the world war in the series. Historically, it was called provoked, but later proven false and became the rallying point for war.

Thank you, everyone! Have a great day!

#FindOutFriday #TriviaFun #HistoricalDrama #HistoryInTheMaking #InspiredByTruePeopleAndEvents #DontYouBelieveIt #WriterFun

#BehindTheScenes 24 - Evolution of Writing

It's Thursday again, and the end of January! We are back to #BehindTheScenes Thursdays and we are going to talk about my evolution as a writer. I know I have said it before, how my life reflects my stories, but this will take it to another level...

I had many stages as an author. I want to talk about the earliest: oral storytelling. To be honest, I do not know how it began except that I loved to tell people stories. I do not know of any others in my family except for my grandfather, father and uncles. While my father and a brother are readers and can recite a good tale, with the timing and voice, the other writes, like I do. My grandfather had the material to write his story, but I am working on that for him.

A few weeks ago, someone told me a story about when I was very, very young, maybe three or four years old. See, I can remember that I was thinking about stories when I was a little older than that. So, it went back a little further...about a little girl who really hated wearing shoes all the time and tried running barefoot. I told a dear friend of my father's a story, some cross between Friends and Star Wars apparently, until I was told to go away.

I remembered doing the same things a little older too. I'd keep my stories in my head. Anything on paper was dangerous and I only wanted to tell the stories I wanted people to know. I thought the best was those left unsaid. It was just as well - my immediate circle did not like the little I said anyway.

But think of that difference. Not wanting to give my best to now wanting to share everything! Sometimes, all it takes is a little confidence and knowing you are worth it. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone except yourself...because you are in competition with no one except for yourself.

Isn't that a wonderful life for an author?

Namaste!

#TheGirlWhoReads #TheWomanWhoWrites #Evolution #LittleGirlDreams #GrownUpReality #ToughLife #WeveGotThis

#BehindTheScenes 23 - My Grandfather

"We are in the process of becoming what we already are," ~Rev. James D. Swearingen

I mentioned taking a detour in my writing. While I am still working on Klenard and the world war, this short trip is not only self-reflection, but the story of a person who went through trauma and still managed to balance his life. This is in reference to my grandfather, the Rev. James D. Swearingen.

He was a different man than what my father and uncles knew. But that is another story. This one is the man that rose above those problems, the person I knew. The man I remembered talking on the phone and playing chess, either in person (when he flew from CA with Grandma) or on MSN Zone. The man who took me to his favorite spot in San Francisco and related to me how, while in military academies, he would sit there to calm down.

I love what my grandmother put on her website: "Jim willingly, intentionally, poured out his life for others. He believed he was called to empty himself for God in His service. To Jim, that was the true calling of a priest." Ordained as an Episcopal Priest, he spent decades not only battling his own demons, but using those experiences to help others later in his life. When he could not help others because of his disabilities, he found other ways based on what he could do. He never let anything stop him.

I remember my first memories of Grandpa. I was very young, maybe I was 4ish. We all met at Gillette Castle. My father and Grandpa were playing chess outside. We took turns at a water fountain. And then, Grandma (my grandfather's second wife, not my father's mother) took me and my sister by the hand. She was young, maybe a dozen or so years older than my parents, and she was beautiful. We walked around the inside of Gillette Castle, in the back, where the greenhouse was. It was really crowded...

That first impression left a mark because of the kindness and compassion. It also was the beginning of their relationship with us. I always looked forward to every communication. I enjoyed my time visiting. The more I learned, the more I understood that people can change. They can understand their trauma and pour their whole lives into helping others like them. That takes strength and courage through self-doubt and weakness...and a lot of boundaries.

For more information (for now) about my grandfather, please visit: https://lynnswearingen.kartra.com/page/jim_swearingen

Namaste!

#FamilyTies #MyGrandfather #TheGoodAndTheBad #Trauma #EpiscopalChurch #Seminary #NYC

#BehindTheScenes 22 - Favorites

Well, here we go again. It's the middle of January already and we are #BehindTheScenes. For today, we are going to talk about favorites. It's not just personal preferences...

It's about privacy. Besides that, I do not have anything I would consider a favorite. I have things that move me in times of happiness and sadness. Sometimes, songs are there to remind me of feelings. Movies bring back good times and funny quotes. Yearly trips somewhere are traditions, and they are comforting and memorable.

Life is about choices. It is not just the ones in your life. It is the idea that there is a whole world out there and not all of it has been explored. For example, I recently saw a BBC Reel about Svalbard, which is between the North Pole and Norway. It was a very remote place and, listening to the diverse people living or working there, nothing in their backgrounds would have brought them that far north. But something so unreal, so beautiful, did.

And I did not think I'd find that! Now, you all know that I cannot travel much and do not do it well. Think of the power of the internet, with information at your fingertips. After verifying the source, can you imagine what you can learn? What you can see?

So far, it has gotten me excited to visit places. Most of them are up north, like Svalbard and Alaska. Some are remote, in South America and in Germany and Poland. I want to see libraries, remote churches and oceans. The world is wide and bright, and we should feel honored to have that so close to us.

Not everything around you is always going to be your preference. When you step out of a comfort zone, you might find something else you like. But make sure you always have a way to step back. You do not want to always be stuck...unless you really like it.

And I think that is my favorite part of life: always learning.

Namaste!

#NoFavorites #HackersBeware #LearningExperience #AtOurFingertips #BeWary #AlternativeFacts #NothingButTheTruth #PhasesOfLife

#BehindTheScenes 21 - Resolutions

After an exhausting month (trust me, December is long and hard for us), we are back to #BehindTheScenes Thursdays. It is January now, so I am focused on resolutions. To be honest, I do not make them. Why, you ask?

Well, I feel pressured. It's a time limit. And I'll keep telling myself, "Well, I have all year." And then, it's December 31 and I have done almost nothing.

It's not to say that people should not make resolutions. I think it's wonderful that people set expectations, try to be a better person, and set limits. It's discipline and determination that I do not have. I have had too much pressure placed on me as a child. I do not want the same for mine, and for me to understand what my limits are.

Also, I do not plan being the same person. Every event, my mind changes because I learn something new or something changes my mind. I am always going back and connecting the dots, something taking me years. Every time I do, something inside truly understands instead of just listening to the words.

It has happened a lot for the past three years now. And it was not just moving away from everything I knew. It was meeting new people, experiencing life without a help line, and even understanding that everything in my life had been wrong. With so much unexpected, why make resolutions?

Everything could be thrown off.

Your world can completely change.

The challenges of yesterday are now the met goals of today.

One day, you are fine. The next, you might not be. Keep challenging yourselves, everyone. Never give up. If someone does not want to hear you, I will.

I've been there too.

Namaste!

#BackToWork #TiredMom #ItsJanuaryAgain #HolidayLows #WarmWinter #HappyNewYear2023

Happy New Year 2023!

This tired author wishes you all a Happy New Year 2023. I hope you are all blessed. May the best day of 2022 be the worst day of 2023.

#TiredMom #SpecialNeedsMom #HappyNewYear #UpUntilMidnight #LateNight #HyperKid #Blessings

#BehindTheScenes 20 - The Holidays

This is going to be the only #BehindTheScenes for the month. I will continue doing some videos, updates on the events and the oddball things. This episode will explain why...

So, to be honest, I never liked the holidays.

It is long, overwhelming and unhappy. I never like doing anything because I am focused on my son. I've had some very bad years too. My extended family tried to make the days loving and bright. But there was only so much that could be done.

As I got older, I ignored it and ran to a friend's house. After Calvin was born, I had to turn my head around. I HAD to make it happy for my son. While it took some years before he could appreciate the holidays, I tried to always have a smile on my face, no matter what. Brian and I always planned special traditions and that made it better for me. I can forget the past with the smile on my son's face.

But seeing the same people who caused you harm does not make it better. Sometimes, it is unavoidable because family gathers where the glue stays. Triggers happen. Tears fall. And then, there is an argument with your other half while your kid bounces in the back seat...

This year, we decided to take it easy and do as little as possible. While we will still see family, we are drawing many boundaries. Hopefully, it will be more peaceful than previous years. I wish that the patterns we are used to vanish. When you survive trauma, you sometimes envy those with normal families

But then, I am reminded of the most important thing in my life: MY FAMILY. Because we are trying to be normal and loving. Because we are trying to shake off the heavy cloak of dysfunction. Depression is heavy. You cannot always let it go, but you can look at things differently.

Be kind. Be patient. You don't know what people are going through. Sometimes, all that is needed is one gesture...and you can make or break a day.

In case I do not return to the blog until the New Year...stay safe, everyone. Enjoy your holidays! Comment about your traditions.

#HappyHolidays #NotWonderful #Depression #YesVirginiaThereIsASantaClaus #SpecialNeedsMom

Wishing You All...

Here in the US, a joyous Thanksgiving. There will be no #BehindTheScenes today.

Thank you, everyone, for watching my exercises in gratitude. I have more to be thankful for, and more to reflect upon, because of this. Stayed tune for more! Author Quest will continue and there will be more updates, info and news in the coming weeks.

Namaste!

#Thanksgiving #Holidays #PumpkinPie #Turkey #Cranberries #Family #Love

#BehindTheScenes 19 - Technology

It's Thursday again, and we are #BehindTheScenes. This has to do with me personally and professionally. It's about technology, and how much I love it and hate it. Why? Read on...

I was born in the late 80's, so technology evolved SOOOOOO quickly when I was growing up. I was caught between a lot of worlds. Even my parents were learning new things, but they could not always afford it. We had to share computers. I did not have my own cell until I was working on my own and in college. My parents did not believe in us having them.

Knowing that, imagine having the childhood outdoors and in. I retained some of the old values my parents held (the good ones anyway). I also understood that they raised me in a world that no longer exists...and some of it never did. Getting into new technology for me takes time. I get used to something and then it all changes. I also have to keep updating.

I am simple. Phone and laptop. I write on my laptop (with notes by my side) and use the phone to communicate with all of you. I try the best I can to be tech savvy and keep up with the latest. And sometimes, it takes the slightest convenience to make me happy. No, seriously. Some of the latest things are so awesome and make life simpler. For example...DICTION! I love it when my hands hurt.

But what I hate is how it is so involved with our lives. NOBODY has the perfect balance (that I know of anyway). Our lives are dependent on technology! If someone hacked in our systems, everything could be lost. I could be simpler. The wifi goes down, everyone goes nuts, even me! I need the internet for my work...and that is scary.

And just to let you know: yes, I do have a tech support. My husband works on my appliances. If he does not know, we try the other one: our son. Calvin is very good with fixing gadgets.

To add: I am not a technophobe. Just annoyed, like any other aging person, how everything changes all the time. Sometimes, we long for simpler times...

Namaste!

#Technology #NotAPhobia #WindowsOrApple #EvolvingTooFast #MicrosoftWord