Shelby Forsythia's Blog, page 2

In a World of Endless Tragedy, We All Have “Meta Grief.”

The new word, defining “grieving about grief,” describes navigating grief fatigue and grief exhaustion amid ongoing loss.Photo by Chip Vincent on Unsplash

During the first weeks of January 2025, grief surrounding the LA fires flooded my Threads feed.

We’d collectively entered a new year—an opportunity for a fresh start, or at least a year we hoped might be a little less griefy than the one that came before it. But nope. Tragedy burst in with an overwhelming, devastating roar. People were grieving ...

6 Powerful Grief Metaphors That Help You Make Sense of Life After Loss

Because when you’re grieving… a picture can be far better than a thousand words

Grief is often too big, too complex, or too layered for plain language.

When we say “I miss them,” we might mean something like, “I’m trying to figure out how to carry them with me without feeling weighed down.”

When we say, “I’m not sure how I feel,” we might mean something like, “I’m trying to rebuild from a life that loss destroyed and everything feels weird and alien.”

When we say, “I’m having a hard day today,” we m...

You Don’t Have to Be a Therapist to Support Someone Grieving

How to be a good comforter to a friend facing loss—no master’s degree required!Photo by Nick Page on Unsplash

When someone we care about is grieving—a friend, a family member, a coworker, a neighbor—one of our first instincts is to reach out and offer them support. But one of the thoughts that can prevent us from taking action is, “I’m not a therapist. Who am I to help?”

Many supporters of grievers worry that they’re not qualified enough to talk about loss. Or they worry that they’ll say the wrong...

Grieving a Pet: How to Honor Big Love and Deep Loss in a World That Doesn’t Get It

Photo by Kindred Hues Photography on Unsplash

There’s a deep heartache that occurs when a beloved pet dies.

It’s not just the presence of an empty food bowl or the absence of pawsteps at your feet. It’s the disappearance of a daily companion, a quiet witness to your life, a heartbeat that moved beside yours for years—sometimes decades.

And yet, when we try to express the devastation of pet loss, the people around us often meet us with skepticism, discomfort, or even dismissal.

For instance:

“Wasn’t i...

How Do I Rebuild After Loss? Why You Don’t Have to “Get Over” It to Move Forward

Photo by FORTYTWO on Unsplash

Recently, I received this message from a podcast listener:

“My husband died 18 months ago, and I thought I’d be further along by now. Everyone keeps telling me to move on and rebuild. Sometimes I even put pressure on myself to get my act together and figure out what my life is supposed to be now. But I don’t know how. What does rebuilding even mean? I still feel like my husband is a part of everything I do. We were together for almost 20 years. I can’t just forget him...

Friendship Grief Is Real — And It’s One of the Hardest Parts of Loss

Friendship Grief Is Real — And It’s One of the Hardest Parts of LossPhoto by Samuel Rodriguez on Unsplash

When society talks about grief it’s focus is usually on you, the person who lost someone or something. Any support resources, groups, or materials are all about how you, as an individual person who’s faced loss, are going to cope and move forward.

But what no one talks about — and what absolutely devastates so many of my clients and students — is that your grief also includes other people. And...

How to Keep a Loved One’s Memory Alive With a Signs and Symbols Library

Photo by Skyler Ewing on Unsplash

When someone we love dies, their absence feels unbearable.

Especially if we saw, touched, or spoke to someone every day, their gone-ness (yeah, I just made up that word) is a sort of full-body shock—one that we suffer every time we go to connect with them and they’re not there. It’s something that the people around us don’t necessarily see or know to acknowledge but is happening for us inside all the same.

For the first few weeks after my mom’s death I kept waiting...

What It’s Like to Look Like Someone Who Died: Grieving in a Familiar Face

It’s always fun showing somebody new a picture of my mom.

They look at her. Then they look at me. I wait, watching their mental gears turn. They look back at the picture, then back at me and say, “Oh my god. You look just like her.”

Yeah. I do. I look just like my dead mom.

Most of the time, I view mine and my mom’s physical similarities as a compliment. But with the arrival of each fresh milestone—another anniversary of her death, another Christmas, another Mother’s Day—I can’t help but wonder wha...

How to Let Go of Grief Without Letting Go of Love: 2 Lists That Help You Release the Pain You Carry

Photo by Clever Visuals on Unsplash

The phrase “Just let it go!” can feel infuriating when you’re grieving.

It’s one of those grief clichés that’s allegedly well-meaning but actually deeply dismissive and hurtful. You’re told to let go of the pain, to move on, or to leave the past behind, as if grief is something you can simply drop and walk away from like it never mattered.

So what does it really mean to “let go” after loss?

And is it even possible without also letting go of your memories, your ide...

What to Do After Loss: The First Step You Can’t Skip if You Want to Heal

Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

When your world has just shattered, the question that races around your mind—sometimes quietly, sometimes with screaming panic is this: What am I supposed to do now?

After a devastating loss, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a painful divorce, a life-changing diagnosis, or another major transition, it’s normal to search for something—anything—to make the pain more bearable. The scramble to figure out your next steps is hella real. You know you want to feel bett...