What It’s Like to Look Like Someone Who Died: Grieving in a Familiar Face

It’s always fun showing somebody new a picture of my mom.

They look at her. Then they look at me. I wait, watching their mental gears turn. They look back at the picture, then back at me and say, “Oh my god. You look just like her.”

Yeah. I do. I look just like my dead mom.

Most of the time, I view mine and my mom’s physical similarities as a compliment. But with the arrival of each fresh milestone—another anniversary of her death, another Christmas, another Mother’s Day—I can’t help but wonder wha...