L. Jagi Lamplighter's Blog, page 40
February 18, 2014
February 17, 2014
Caption This Winner!
Last week's winner:
Too heavy to fly, the canadian monarch butterfly must resort to other methods to migrate.
February 13, 2014
Mab here, Prospero Inc. company gumshoe.
As part of my c...
Mab here, Prospero Inc. company gumshoe.
As part of my campaign to protect you woefully-uninformed humans from your own folly—in hopes of saving even one of you from an elf-induced death, or worse—here is some of my gathered wisdom concerning the supernatural world.
Read. Pay attention. And maybe you’ll live.
For those of you who are just coming in, we’ve started with Tsukumogami, Japanese household objects that wake up after their 100th birthday and become animate.
Name: Kameosa
Description: A possessed jar, usually sake, but it can be water or rice. Whatever is put inside the jar never runs out.
Where To Find It: Cabinet
Frequency: Very rare
Danger Level: Low but you got to be careful with these.
Mab’s Eye View: On one hand, these things can be a blessing to a poor family. On the other hand, some people thing the sampo* was one of these guys. You really gotta be careful where you put it.
*Sampo—jar that produced an endless amount of whatever was put in it. Someone used it for salt. It fell in the ocean, which was fresh water back then. It’s still producing salt today.
What I wanna know is…what's up with the Rubber Ducky?
February 12, 2014
Wright’s Writing Corner: The Desolation of Tolkien! Or “Bang, Bang Jackson’s Banana Hammer Came Down Upon His Head!”
Next week we have a great treat, a guest blog by author Michael J. Sullivan on the subject of the writing market today.
This week, we have something rather different. Below is the funniest movie review I have ever read. Of course, it will not be quite as funny for you all, because A) the author is not reading it aloud, and B) the word "stupid" and "stupidity" has not been replaced with the word "banana."
When John read it aloud last night, the Cherubim was in the room. We did not want him to start repeating the words he was hearing, so John read it with the word "stupid" replaced with the word "banana." The Banana Hammer was so funny that I fear one of the children may have suffered a laughter-induced injury. (Maybe not…but there was a great deal of gasping and flopping around due to the overwhelming force of laughing.)
How, you ask, does this have to do with writing? In among the bellyaching and humor are some observations about Tolkien's writing and the purpose of various scenes.
Enjoy!
PS. The part about me shouting "Shoot him!" at the screen is entirely true…as is that my mom was with us.
What is missing from this poster?
The Hobbit: the Desolatioin of Tolkien by John C. Wright
I loved the first Hobbit movie and hated, hated, hated the second. It was stupid on every level of stupidity. It is rightly to be called THE DESOLATION OF TOLKIEN.
Before swan-diving into the sewer of total stupidity that is the DESOLATION movie, my intractable Southern courtesy requires that I say something good about this movie. Well, as it happens, there was not just one thing good about this movie, there were three: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, and Richard Armitage. They played their parts so well, that I feel I have met the real Gandalf, Bilbo and Thorin.
Sylvester McCoy did his best with what he was given, but the movie maker put bird poop in his hair. Which is not, come to think of it, so very different from what the movie maker did to us, his audience. This was to make Rhadaghast the Brown, the divine and august Istari who journeyed from the Blessed Lands beyond the Uttermost West to aid Middle Earth in its dark hour, to be as silly-looking a human whoopee cushion as possible.
On to what I hated with a nerdrageous passion that knows no sense of proportion: let us start at the beginning.
February 11, 2014
The Story Behind The Story! Prospero Regained!
I was asked to do a 'story behind the story' article about Prospero Regained. I had an absolutely wonderful time writing it, and the site was very pleased with the results.
Should you wish to read it, here it is:
http://upcoming4.me/news/book-news/story-behind-prospero-regained-by-l-jagi-lamplighter
February 10, 2014
Caption This!
Best caption wins!
In honor of the Olympics:
Caption This Winner!
Being the center of the universe wasn't nearly as much fun as it had looked on the box.
February 6, 2014
Mab’s Handy Guide to Surviving the Supernatural
Mab here, Prospero Inc. company gumshoe.
As part of my campaign to protect you woefully-uninformed humans from your own folly—in hopes of saving even one of you from an elf-induced death, or worse—here is some of my gathered wisdom concerning the supernatural world.
Read. Pay attention. And maybe you’ll live.
For those of you who are just coming in, we’ve started with Tsukumogami, Japanese household objects that wake up after their 100th birthday and become animate.
Name: Ittan-momen
Description: A thirty foot cotton scarf that flies around at night, wraps around people, and smoothers them. The Ittan-momen looks a bit like a ghost. It has two red eyes, ghostly hands, and then a long trailing body-tail.
Where To Find It: Too many places.
Frequency: Thankfully low.
Danger Level: Very high.
Mab’s Eye View: Look, I realize some of you write me off as an alarmist, but this is a thoroughly nasty, murderous, fiend. On the other hand, even I must admit, that people have occasionally tamed ‘em. Weird. (Like the below. Disgusting!)
February 5, 2014
Signal Boost — Author Stuart Yates!
Technical problems kept me from posting this on Tuesday. Here it is today:
Introducing author Stuart Yates. Stuart is an Englishman who lives in Spain. He is a teacher of history and a prolific author. Stuart loves writing and it is his dearest wish to share his stories with others.
He writes:
Born on the Wirral, I live in Spain. I've done a lot of things in my life, and now work as a teacher. I have done for over 20 years, but writing is my first love.
As Glenn Stuart, I have written 10 YA novels, and as Stuart G Yates, I write adult thrillers (some of them might be classed as cross-overs, that means they are also suitable for teenagers). This is my main direction now.
I love writing, and virtually every day I get something down on my word processor. I love to create worlds, characters, events. Often I have a plan to follow, and I know the direction, but what happens in-between is sometimes not even up to me. Things simply take over.
Stuart’s blog: authorstuartgyates.wordpress.com
His Amazon author’s page: amazon.com/author/stuartyates
Here is one of his works. Many others listed on his author page!
Varangian – Viking Adventurer faces treachery and politics in 12th Century Byzantium.
