Nathan Nicolau's Blog

The Last Thing I'll Say About UNCSA

I can't recommend this school in good conscience.

Only go to UNCSA if you're a sick individual who either wants to abuse and manipulate others or you're a masochist. Everyone, and I do mean everyone (including me) was a part of a horrific cycle of politics, abuse, lies, and exploitation. Some drank the Kool-Aid by the gallons; some were sneaking in sips in private.

This school only makes promises. They're a business like any other, so they'll entice naive kids with outrageous claims like "We're preparing you for the real world, deal with it," or "You're guaranteed a job in your field when you graduate, just play by our rules." No university in their right mind will ever say "Don't give us your money," so they'll make these outrageous claims that any 18-year-old (or minor) will believe.

Faculty members at this university were known sexual abusers who still got their paychecks even after being outed. A recent settlement changes nothing. Chancellor Brian Cole still wants people to believe that the school has changed since the 80s and 90s. I was a student from 2014-2018. Nothing has changed, Cole. With how much Cole was quick to defend and protect actual pedophiles who ran a pedophilia ring at this university, he might as well admit he was participating in their twisted perversions. This is not a defamatory statement; this is common sense. Only abusers protect abusers.

Speaking of which, I am disappointed with how spineless many of my fellow alumni are. Many continue to reap the mediocre benefits of being associated with UNCSA. Then again, I'm not surprised. I worked with classmates who have sent death/rape threats and have verbally abused other students with some of the most heinous slurs imaginable. All over what, you ask? A student film that no one, no one, has seen. And who encouraged this behavior? The same faculty that invited us to their homes, who told us they were "preparing us" for a "real world" that didn't exist, who only looked out for themselves and their gratification. Maybe some of the classmates were invited to the pedophilia ring too, who knows? Again, this isn't defamatory. Entire Title IX cases were thrown out at this school. "Sorry you feel that way," the case managers would say straight to victim's faces while simultaneously babying the abusers. This school will do anything for its image that it's criminal.

The petition I started to rename the dining hall in Hector Lopez's name is now being twisted as a PR move for UNCSA and its enabling alumni, which was far from my intent. I only did what I thought was the right thing to do to honor a person's life. For some godforsaken reason, I naively believed UNCSA and their lapdog the Winston-Salem Journal couldn't possibly stoop so low as to use an employee's death to rebuild their image. I was wrong. Cole might as well have stepped in front of the cameras with a shit-eating grin and said, "See? We listened." Furthermore, complacent alumni and faculty are going to point to this and say "Hey, the school is changing for the better!" No, it's not. As long as this school exists, the pattern of abuse will continue. Remember who protects abusers again? I'm angered about how this school ruins everything it touches. I'm also embarrassed at myself for foolishly trusting this school with something.

This is a learning moment, trust me. I now want absolutely nothing to do with UNCSA anymore. I refuse to lift a finger for them or any alumni except for a specific few (and you all know who you are). Many of you barely knew my name anyway, and it's for the better. None of you cared for your victims either.

That's all I've got to say.

Why I Self-Publish

I tried my shot at traditional publishing and it didn't work for me. This should be the ultimate reason.

Traditional publishing is notorious for running at a glacial pace. If it's going to take years for my book to be in people's hands, submitting the timely, relevant" manuscripts" agents/publishers want is a waste.

The mere concept of a writing agent is a frankly ridiculous concept. Why do I have to pay someone to schmooze publishers when I could just do it myself? Because I don't have a track record? It's gatekeeping.

As much as traditional publishers preach that they only look for "strong original voices," they only chase trends and want stories that tick boxes.

Why do only five publishing houses control the market anyway?

Indie presses are just as snobby and gatekeepy.

Vanity presses are scams.

Why should I be comparing my book to another one in my cover letters to agents? Shouldn't my story stand on its own? See number 4.

Even if I get published through a Big Five publisher or an indie press, I still have to spend my own time and money to market a book myself.

Getting into a major retail bookstore is not as big of an achievement as many think. One can technically do it while being self-published, albeit much harder.

Being traditionally published does not equal instant stardom.

Amazon dominates the book market. Why not cut the middleman and sell directly there on top of other online retailers?

I can communicate with readers the way I want.

I get the final say on the content and design.

I can experiment and not get shot down.

Honestly, designing book covers is fun.

I may not get the most sales, but I sure get more royalties.

I don't have to write under a pen name when I switch genres.

I have trust issues.

I'm selfish.

I have little patience with people.

I love it. What more do you want me to say?

Blue Moon: Foundation & Folklore

I first met M. A. Pastore at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, where we both studied filmmaking and concentrated on screenwriting. Since then, we have remained good friends. His debut story collection, Blue Moon: Foundation & Folklore, just came out, and I snatched it the moment it hit Amazon. I knew I was in good hands, as I find Pastore a talented world-builder and storyteller.

Blue Moon: Foundation & Folklore is a masterclass in atmospheric, interconnected world-building. Taking cues from Irving, Poe, and Hawthorne, Blue Moon's stories are simple in plot yet thematically rich. Not one detail goes unnoticed in these stories, poems, and sketches. Though brief, it packs an incredible amount of lore thanks to the diverse cast of characters, imaginative scenarios, and puzzle-like structure. Simply put, the town of Blue Moon feels real despite its folktales of bog monsters, vengeful spirits, and four-eyed cats, which only adds to the horrors that unfold.

I can't wait for the next book in the series!

5th anniversary of my first book

The summer of 2019 was the lowest point of my life.

I graduated from film school with dreams of being a filmmaker, only to realize it wasn't for me. A colleague once told me, "When it comes to the movie industry, Los Angeles is an ocean, and New York City is a lake. Everything else is just mud."

I was trying to trudge through mud while in North Carolina and suffered the consequences. I was stuck doing odd jobs while my mental health deteriorated to the point of being admitted to a mental hospital.

And it was around this time that I wrote the poems that would be my first published book, Goodnight Youth.

Goodnight Youth was my first attempt at writing anything beyond screenplays. I pigeonholed myself at the time, believing that I wasn't good at writing anything but scripts. I realize now that it wasn't a lack of talent holding me back; it was a lack of confidence. I didn't bother to see if I could write poetry before 2019. I'm glad that I took the leap of faith. I now speak fluent poetry.

The poems in Goodnight Youth reflected my emotional state at the time. Since these were the first poems I've ever written, they are drenched in moodiness and sentimentality. The poems' language had a raw edge to them. I hadn't expanded my skills as a poet yet. Some of the poems are too direct for my liking now, but going back to rewrite them would be redundant. Everything we write is a snapshot of the time we wrote it. Goodnight Youth is a document reminding me how far I've come and how I can bounce back from adversity.

Right after releasing the book, my life went on the up and up. I've written prolifically since then, and I wouldn't have had the confidence to do so if it weren't for writing Goodnight Youth.

TWO reviewed by Readers' Favorite Press Release

For immediate release:

Author's new book receives a warm literary welcome!

Readers' Favorite announces the review of the Young Adult - Coming of Age book Two by Nathan Nicolau, currently available at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CTFSDRHH.

Readers' Favorite is one of the largest book review and award contest sites on the Internet. They have earned the respect of renowned publishers like Random House, Simon & Schuster, and HarperCollins, and have received the "Best Websites for Authors" and "Honoring Excellence" awards from the Association of Independent Authors. They are also fully accredited by the BBB (A+ rating), which is a rarity among Book Review and Book Award Contest companies.

Reviewed By Nino Lobiladze for Readers' Favorite:

"Two by Nathan Nicolau is a riveting coming-of-age novel for young adult fans of drama and mystery. Howl studies business administration at UNCC. He loves to read in Charlotte's Romare Bearden Park. There, he notices a weird girl passionately speaking to a statue in Italian. Deeply impressed, Howl decides to talk to her. The girl, named Ella, explains that she has recited an excerpt from an opera, but she doesn't know what it means in English. Howl wants to learn more about the mysterious opera. He suspects that there is more to it. Soon, it becomes clear that they both hide secrets that cast shadows over their young lives. A fateful day spent together opens up opportunities for an unexpected friendship. In Two, Nathan Nicolau analyzes the true meaning of friendship and our constant longing to be heard and accepted despite our flaws and past mistakes. The author's innovative approach toward narrative makes the book almost interactive. Ella and Howl are skillfully developed characters. Nicolau gives them clear voices that we cannot ignore. Ella's story will resonate with many readers and evoke strong emotions. Nicolau's prose is deeply psychological. Ella's reflections on art and artists are profound and witty. The bright-minded Howl has a puzzling, complex personality. The author explores the roots of creativity and engages us with insights into the lives of famous artists and composers. The narrative also addresses the topics of guilt and grief. I appreciated Nina Tungjairob's beautiful artwork and the revealing conclusion of this fascinating novel."

You can learn more about Nathan Nicolau and Two at https://readersfavorite.com/book-review/two, where you can read reviews and the author’s biography, as well as connect with the author directly or through their website and social media pages.

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TWO's literary influences

With my debut novel, TWO, out now, I thought I'd take you through the writers who influenced me the most while writing it.

Haruki Murakami

Given his worldwide popularity, he needs no introduction. He is among my favorite living authors. Norwegian Wood was especially a big inspiration. I remember finishing that book and saying to myself, "I want to write a novel," and here I am now. TWO's opening is very Murakami-esque. The novel opens with one of the main characters, Ella, reciting an Italian opera to her favorite statue at a park. The other main character, Howl, listens on, thus starting the plot in motion. Surreal yet uniquely human—that's how I best describe Murakami's work.

Osamu Dazai

Dazai conveys loneliness and desperation in prose better than any other writer I've encountered. For the more reflective and melancholy moments in TWO, I turned to his masterwork No Longer Human for inspiration. Dazai had a strong literary voice as if confessing to the reader. Since nearly all of his work was autobiographical, it is easy to see why. The way he described gutwrenching emotions in his work continues to surprise me. It's hard to put exact feelings into words, but he uses eye-catching metaphors and imagery one wouldn't expect. It's hard for even me to describe! Just go and read him. You won't regret it.

James M. Cain

TWO has a light mystery element. The novel's overarching mystery is the unknown opera and how Ella can recite it. But really, the actual mysteries are Howl and Ella themselves. Both hide secrets from each other, only to constantly unravel themselves. Cain wrote two of my favorite crime/noir novels, The Postman Always Rings Twice and Double Indemnity. Both are masterclasses in how to use simple, direct, yet visual prose that explores the character's psyches with as few words as possible, all while stringing audiences along. This is impressive, considering Cain's novels are almost entirely dialogue. While TWO isn't a seedy noir, I must thank Cain for showing me how a voice-driven, dialogue-heavy novel with an air of mystery can work.

Check out these authors if you're looking for something new to read. Don't forget to purchase TWO on Amazon , too!

FREE BOOK - "The Truth About Film School"

Read this first if you're considering film school.

This short book is about my experience at film school and what I wish I had known before attending. It also details what actions to take while there. Because I believe in helping recent high-school graduates make the right decision, I've decided to make this pamphlet available for free. A $0.99 Kindle version is also available on Amazon if you wish to support me.

FAQs about TWO

I greatly appreciate the glowing reviews and passionate reactions to my debut novel. It's time to answer some burning questions. Warning: This FAQ will have some minor spoilers, so be sure to read TWO first .

What's Howl's real name?

I don't know myself. I suppose it doesn't matter, does it?

Why does Ella speak weirdly/not use contractions?

I was hinting that Ella was Thai and English wasn't her first language, but I suppose that fell through. We could just chalk it up to Ella being very eloquent. Some people just are.

Is TWO autobiographical?

I think everything that someone writes is autobiographical to a degree. TWO has some moments here and there, but my main goal was to put myself into the shoes of two strangers.

Is the Vivaldi opera real?

Yes, and most of it still hasn't been found.

Who is the Preacher on 7th Street?

He's a combination of the many street preachers in Charlotte. There was this one outside my work who was always smiling and saying "God loves you." I'd like to imagine it's him.

Have you seen Before Sunrise (1995)? Did it inspire TWO ?

It's a nice movie. I was more inspired by Lost in Translation (2003).

If anyone has any more questions, you know where to find me.

TWO on location

My debut novel, TWO, takes place in my home city of Charlotte, NC. I treated the setting as a character by including real Charlotte landmarks. Allow me to take you on a tour.

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Romare Bearden Park

Where the main characters Howl and Ella meet for the first time. It is also where the Spiral Odyssey, a sculpture made in tribute to Romare Bearden, proudly stands. Both the statue and Bearden play a key role in the story.

Betchler Modern Museum of Art

An intimate museum that houses some beautiful modern artworks. Plenty of talking pieces and pleasant sights. Howl and Ella spend a whole chapter discussing art here.

Book Buyers

Appears in the novel as "Sal's Books." Book Buyers is my favorite bookstore in the world. I've been shopping there since 2020 and I always leave with something. I've also given readings of TWO here.

Amèliès

Appears in the novel as "Noèmi's." A pleasant French cafe in Charlotte. The eclairs are to die for.

University of North Carolina Charlotte

I received my English MA from UNCC in 2021. It's a beautiful campus with some of the friendliest professors I've ever met. TWO initially started as my thesis while at UNCC under the mentorship of Dr. Mark West. Howl is a student here and uses Atkins Library to help solve a mystery that haunts Ella.

~ ~ ~

One of my hopes with TWO was to make Charlotte feel alive on the page to encourage more people to visit. Read the novel yourself and plan your trip!

TWO out now!

I am beyond excited to announce that my debut novel TWO is out now on Amazon.

Purchase on Kindle or in print here. Or click on the cover above.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Also, happy birthday Vivaldi.