Nathan Nicolau's Blog, page 5

I'm now writing for Medium!

Medium is a fantastic platform for diverse voices and opinions on current issues. With this being said, I could not have found a better website to host my writing. On my official Medium page, I will be writing articles on subjects that interest me: literature, teaching, film, and writing.

Feel free to give a follow or simply read my work!

Essay: Writing Criticism on the Internet (A Love Story)

Constructive criticism is dead and we killed it with the internet.

Tie a megaphone to someone's mouth and it gives them a voice, but put a wall between you and them and now we have a problem. The truth about the internet is that you can say whatever you want without having to worry about immediate consequences. This layer of protection, I argue, divides us while making it hard to have actual civil discussions on matters. Worse yet, it gets rid of the concept of constructive criticism. We are taught to do constructive criticism for two main reasons:

1.) to not blatantly offend anyone.

2.) to let the other person know what works and what doesn't.

Unfortunately, all of this is thrown out the window the moment you give a keyboard to someone. There's no reason to be nice. You're the right one, after all. The only way they can get things through their thick skull is if you're as mean, snarky, and blunt as humanly possible. Then you stand up from your computer and go on with your life without even thinking about the other person on the line. Be damned if they're hurt or insulted, right? You did them a service. After all, facts don't care about your feelings and you are the supreme ruler of facts. If you don't see a problem with this, you're part of the problem. If you're saying to yourself "but, I don't do this," I guarantee that you have been doing it and think nothing of it. It's okay, I have fallen victim to this too. I argue that this behavior of anonymity is second nature. In fact, social media websites encourage this. Before you write a Facebook status, the text box gives you the broad question "What's on your mind?" instead of "What do you want to say to people?" We have forgotten the receiving end of criticism. We can point to anti-cyberbullying activism as proof, along with its mantra: "if you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it through the internet."

Possibly the worst offender for lack of constructive criticism is for getting feedback on your writing. As a writer, I am extremely wary of posting work on the internet for feedback. I don't mean sending it to friends or family; I'm talking about showing it to complete strangers on forums or subreddits. There's a myriad of problems with doing this, but I will list the most prevalent ones:

Strangers don't know you and your intentions
Anyone can claim anything.
They have the safety of anonymity.
Anyone can misinterpret anything.

Again, these are just a few problems that I have boiled down to general themes. I will proceed to examine these problems and what we can do to rectify them.

(NOTE: Everything that I am going to say from here on out is completely anecdotal and based on personal experience. I am not claiming these to be "end all, be all" solutions, but general advice to consider.)

Strangers don't know you and your intentions

In face-to-face writing workshop environments, there is typically a "get to know you" or ice breaker before you even read a single word. People think these are annoying. I think they're vital. They're an opportunity for your critics to know you, not your writing. Those two are separate entities, after all. Unfortunately, when you post your work on the internet, there is no ice breaker. To the people on the other side, you're just words on a screen. I've seen writers just post their first couple chapters or poems with not even a "hello, thanks for taking the time..." This creates a golden opportunity for people to just assume, and assumptions are the killers of criticism.

If you must post your work online to people you don't know, make your intentions clear. Before you post that work, write an ice-breaker preface. Do not make it broad. Make it bold and clear-cut. "I'm an amateur writer. I'm looking to be serious about this. This is the first chapter of a novel I'm working on. It's a sci-fi/mystery hybrid focusing on the dangers of technology. I am going for a similar style of Black Mirror, but with a more investigative angle..."

A final caveat: never ask for general stuff such as "I'm open to all feedback," or "Would you continue reading?" People take that as an opportunity to hound you with nitpicks and other critiques you might not need since you never said you didn't want it. Be as specific as possible. "I'm looking for grammar issues. I mainly suck at commas." "Is the organization tight?" "I'm going for a sense of dread in this opening. Am I achieving that?"

Now, if you are giving your work to people you know, this process is much easier. Be it a friend, an acquaintance, or a fellow writer in a workshop, they will at least put a name to a face. This is where you do the ice-breakers and "I want to write stuff like..." speeches. Please always keep the above in mind for face-to-face critiques as well.

Anyone can claim anything

Without stating the obvious, it has to be reminded: anyone can say anything on the internet. Your friend on Facebook can give you serious health advice because they have medical experience only to find out they only took one CPR class but failed the test. On anonymous forums such as Reddit, this bending of truth gets worse. A person claiming to be a well-published author can rip into you for your work to justify being harsh to you. A person claiming to be a seasoned editor boldly states that they would never read your manuscript and would never even help you improve it. Here's some truth I've gathered, and I've spoken to other professional writers who have told me this very thing:

Professional/successful writers are too busy working to go on the internet and deal with people.

Ever seen J.K Rowling give a critique about an amateur writer's world-building? Ever seen Stephen King write a behemoth essay on why someone's character's motivations are unclear? The most social media presence authors have is promoting themselves on Twitter or Facebook. In fact, sometimes, authors don't even manage their own social media accounts. You know what they're doing instead? Writing. It's their livelihood, after all. Keep all of this in mind when a "seasoned author" or "professional editor" comments on your writing. But what if they actually are who they say they are? Ask them why they're not writing their next bestseller and wasting their time with you. Be prepared for a list of excuses...

They have the safety of anonymity

I touched on this in the beginning. When you insult someone on the internet, what are they going to do? Jump out of the screen and punch you? Unfortunately, this is human nature. Despite being taught the golden rule, the safety net of anonymity gives people a feeling of power. Morality, common sense, and basic empathy are shoved aside. Unfortunately, I cannot give any advice on avoiding this as people are as unpredictable as death itself. The most I can say is if you're going to share your work with complete strangers out there on the web, be ready. Be ready mentally, emotionally, or what have you. If you're the macho "words can never hurt me" type, I can guarantee you're not. Let's buy into some cliches, here. You're a writer. An artist. Artists are sensitive. They are passionate about their work. They baby themselves and avoid conflict as much as they can. What others say will hurt you to some degree, be it a little or too much. If this is not your style, go to friends or writing peers for feedback.

Now, here is where I will hear the classic rebuttal:

"But I'm not writing to friends! Those strangers are the ones who might be buying my book!"

There is truth to that, and I won't deny it. But let's consider things in this way: writers know writers. The only other person who truly understands what do, what you go through, and how you want to achieve something is another writer. You can't honestly expect an affluent person to understand what living in poverty is like, right? Apply that logic here. You may think you're posting your work to other writers, but for all you know, they could be just casual readers. And let me tell you the most controversial thing I will write here: writers and readers are extremely different and they never agree on the same thing ever. Writers do. Readers watch. Writers analyze. Readers overlook. All the reader wants is a good story or a time-waster. Writers always want something more. Find your kindred spirit and never settle for less. Writers help other writers be better writers.

Anyone can misinterpret anything

The biggest fault of the internet is that we don't get social cues. There's no reason to care about reading the room when you are "the room." You are your own vessel on the web. You don't have to read facial expressions. You don't have to hear for inflections in other's voices. You don't have to try to interpret sarcasm or irony. I'm reminded of a joke I heard where there is absolutely no polite way to say "Sorry, I wasn't talking to you." Try it. It's very fun. Don't add any additional words. Try to find the most polite tone. This is the problem with receiving feedback on the internet. There are no obvious hints if they're speaking out of malice, jealousy, or irony. People just type their responses, and what you see is what you get. However, the same goes for you as the writer. You are also on the other line in this misinterpretation game. Therefore, always ask clarifications. Asking things like "What I'm hearing is [this], correct?" Don't settle for generalizations. Ask for concrete examples.

Then there is the issue of people not giving you enough to interpret. I kid you not as I have received feedback akin to this: "It's good and all, but there are certain word choices that don't work. You'll just have to figure this out on your own." Then there is my personal favorite: "That's just something you'll mature as a writer." Whether this is laziness or an attempt to not have weight on their shoulders, never settle for this. Also, never post samples. If you're going to post, post the whole work while you're at it. A person simply cannot understand a whole work by just reading the first chapter. I understand people may not have the time for such a task, but you need to find someone willing to put in as much commitment to critiquing as you did writing your work. Again, writers understand writers. Readers hate putting in the effort.

So now what do I do?

Go ahead, post that work online to strangers. I'm not going to stop you. What I will do is warn you. I've been posting my work online for a long time until I gave it up when I was going around in circles. I'm certainly not saying that you will encounter these issues every single time, but they are still something to consider. My advice is this: use internet feedback as the last resort. Find a friend. Find a fellow writer. Find someone interested. Got none of those? Polish your work, keep what I've said in mind, and be prepared.

Bad constructive criticism will never go away on the internet. That's not me being pessimistic, that's just how people are. Hopefully, with these anecdotes I've given, it will make you as a writer aware of what you're getting into or what you have been experiencing before. I'm going to end with one of the best pieces of writing advice ever given to me: "It does not matter if you like it or don't. What matters is if it works." Never accept "I like this" or "I like that." That's subjective. Something working or not working isn't. Go in with this mindset and you'll have all the feedback you'll ever need.

Essay: So Much Depends

"Just because it's got some drippy sick syrup sentiment coating over it doesn't make it a poem, girlfriend."

"You're blurring the line between poetry and prose a bit too much, and that does a disservice to poetry as a whole."

"If she wants people to start looking at her poems and really enjoying them, she needs to stop thinking of 'poetic license' as a free pass to do whatever she wants."

"The fact is, there's a rich poetic tradition stretching back thousands of years, and to ignore all of that without a second thought just seems incredibly shortsighted and narrowminded...On top of that, there's an entire slew of words, phrases, meanings, philosophical discussions, or you name it going on in English poetry just like there are discussions going on now in poetry, and to study that can really broaden your horizon, add words to your wordhoard (an old Anglo-Saxon term I picked up in my studies, see?), and help you be a better poet."

All of these comments are from the same Reddit thread after user Bri_Cookie posted a poem called ,,"Dear Guys." It is currently among the most controversial post on the r/Poetry subreddit. Most of these comments are from the same user who has also dropped some questionable nuggets of wisdom such as "I don't see any additional layers of meaning beyond what she's stating on the page, and that's a good litmus test for what's good poetry and what's probably not."

Now, after reading "Dear Guys," I do agree with some of the comments. The writing could be better and less direct. Some subtext could help immensely and the letter format it is written in is a bit too much for my taste. Yet, to dismiss the entire piece as non-poetry is frankly ludicrous and points to a bigger problem with poetry criticism. This thread is eight years old, but these arguments are still dusted off to be used. With successful insta-poets such as Rupi Kaur, r.h Sin, Lang Leav, and Atticus, more criticisms akin to the Reddit thread still pop up. About every other week, I see the same essays against insta-poetry on Reddit and other sites. Many of these arguments have the same ideas regurgitated time and time again. "There's no poetics." "It's too simple." "It's self-centered." "I can see the themes a mile away." "There's no subtext." The list goes on and on.

I will admit that I am not a huge fan of insta-poetry and don't go out of my way to read it. However, I will never say it isn't poetry. Who is the arbiter of written verse? Certainly not someone on Reddit who boasts using the term "wordhoard." (A term not even I as a graduate English student has heard. If I used it tomorrow in class, I'm sure I'd get groans louder than when I first read the sentence in question.) The problem happening in poetry circles goes beyond pretentiousness. At this point, it's egotism. "It's not a poem because I know what one is." "Yeats never did this." "You're not ee cummings, so don't try." Criticism is valid, but blatant gatekeeping isn't. Now, an examination of what benefits people think they get with this kind of behavior warrants a dissertation in it of itself, so I will only focus on the semantics of the arguments rather than its rhetoric. I will be the first to admit that, whether we like it or not, we live in a post-postmodern world where art is subjective and subjectivity is art. Again, this idea could lead to another dissertation, but I will leave it as is to lead to another point:

I can almost guarantee that if "The Red Wheelbarrow" was released today, people would dismiss it as "vapid tumblr poetry." "The Red Wheelbarrow" is the most anthologized poem in the English language for its simplicity in language and imagery. The poem premiered in William Carlos Williams's collection Spring and All and has been revered since. The thing is that Williams is considered a titan poet. He has credit to his name. So, of course, poetry lovers (who also seem to carry a critic's license by default) will excuse any faults from the titans just to turn around and use it to chastise modern poetry. The irony is that looking at the piece as it is, Williams' piece checks all the boxes they rant about: it's simple, there's no subtext, and (worst of all!) there's no poetic language!

Unfortunately, people think that being as vague or flowery as possible constitutes as good poetry (or good writing in that matter.) It's the "show don't tell" mentality that, while helpful, continues in writing discussions while no one actually understands what it means. The harsh truth is that you have to tell your story as well as showing for effect. Dodging every single way to get something across can get into absurd territory:

so much depends

upon a red wheelbarrow

glazed with rain water

beside the white chickens

Much is weighted on

three wheels with the color of blood

showered by falling drizzles

resting in a bed of ivory feathers.

Now, people unfamiliar with the poem will argue that the former has no "poetic language." Sure, and that's valid criticism I'm sure Williams has heard. But I'd argue the latter is talking too much and saying nothing. It's a series of pretty images that, while descriptive, add nothing to each other. It's pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that don't fit. There's unity in Williams' plainspoken words that forms a complete pictorial scene. Also, the poetic blemishes I added in my revised version distorts the meaning of the original poem. Instead of just showing you an image and let you draw conclusions, I'm telling you how you should see it and what it means. Manipulation of emotions is a big no-no in writing. Readers are too smart for their own good. Never tell them how to feel or they'll get mad, and I mean hostile. In essence, the point isn't the language. It's the image. "I don't see any additional layers of meaning beyond what [is] on the page..."

"Dear Guys" was initially written as a prose poem before being editing, which made users go into hysterics while saying that "This doesn't even qualify as a poem, let alone a prose poem..." Without going far too deep on aesthetics, I will say that snobby poetry readers care about it too much. Poetry has to be a certain form to them. It has to have line breaks, stanzas, or pentameter. It has to be a villanelle, sestina, rondeau, triolet, couplet, quatrain, or some other obscure term that the average person would guess you're making up at this point ("wordhoard," right?)

Let's look at this brilliant poem by Emily Berry called "Fish Tank":

I watched a woman in a fish tank shitting directly into a tortoise’s mouth. It was meant to be some kind of spectacle—she was invited to do it and was very happy to, and the tortoise was happy to eat.

And yes this is a published poem, not some joke off Reddit. I am a big believer that style should fit the story and not the other way around. Aesthetics can be everything or nothing. If this poem by Berry had line breaks or stanzas or whatnot it wouldn't be as impactful as it is. The plan-spoken "matter of fact" language and presentation carries weight. I'd imagine a beginning poet wanting to put "shitting" as its own line to draw emphasis. A valid idea, sure, but think about what reaction you want from this poem. Is it the shock value? Is it the humor? Is it the fact that the speaker talks so casually about it? Berry achieves all of this without pulling all the old-fashioned poetry tricks. And much like Williams, it's the image that's poetic, not the words themselves. It's such a simple poem. I could honestly see this being the opening line of a humorous novel or autobiography, which brings me to another point: You'd be hardpressed to find someone who can tell you the difference between a prose poem and regular prose.

"But one is more poetic than the other!"

And something like The Great Gatsby isn't? You could break up the last paragraph of the novel into verse and I doubt anyone would notice.

"But one has more aesthetic value!"

See, now we're getting into what your definitions of aesthetics are in poetry. I detailed earlier what is known to be the forms of poetry and notice I did not mention prose. Prose poems may not be as aesthetically pleasing but they are still considered a valid form of poetry. After Bri_Cookie edited "Dear Guys" to add typical stanzas, the "wordhoard" user quipped "At least now it looks like a poem..."

Bri_Cookie isn't Williams or Berry. But while going through her account, she only posted one poem after "Dear Guys" before giving up. What she wrote wasn't poetry, after all. Why bother? At the risk of sounding like a hippie or a beatnik or a hipster, I will say it: poetry can be anything. I had a poetry professor with numerous published collections who admitted "Sometimes I read Faulkner and forget it's not considered poetry." I had a philosophy teacher who also quipped "The Tao Te Ching is more like poetry to me." Much like anything in art, the definition of poetry has changed since Homer. Yet, it seems some people are not willing to accept this fact despite centuries of evolution. I'm not saying to never learn rules to poetry. What I am saying is that claiming something isn't poetry by pulling up old examples doesn't help anybody. We're in the modern age. Let's act like it. Learn the old rules to break them and make new ones. Let's stop shaming emerging poets who want to try something new.

We need to stop taking poetry so seriously. After all, one of the most famous opening lines of poetry comes from Marianne Moore's aptly titled "Poetry" which begins "I too, dislike it; there are things that are important beyond all this fiddle..."

The deleted author's note...

While writing

I never met Clifford Brown. I never met Chet Baker. I never met Duke Ellington either. I never met any of the people in this collection of poetry, sadly. This may raise eyebrows and turn heads. "You’re writing a jazz poetry collection, then?" Why yes, yes I am. Though I have struggled with this myself. The reason why I wrote this collection is simple: I adore the music. I’m infatuated by its history, its culture, and its people. I love jazz so much that I often struggle to find ways to express that love. I decided the best way to do so would be through poetry.

This raised a question as I wrote this collection. Am I qualified to write about jazz? I am not a jazz scholar by any means. I have only dabbled in jazz drumming in my spare time. My knowledge of jazz theory won’t get me into Julliard either. I’m just a guy in his mid-20’s living in North Carolina. What do I know about this music? I just know that jazz has been with me since I was literally born. My parents were inspired to name me after Nat King Cole when one of his songs played on the radio and my parents wondered, “Who just names their child Nat?" That’s when they figured it must’ve been short for something like "Nathan."

Ironically, my love of jazz did not start until I was 14 when I first heard Louis Armstrong’s recording of St. Louis Blues. I stumbled upon it, honestly. I collect vinyl records as a pastime, not really paying attention to what kind of music was on them. Just collecting and spinning them as background music while I did laundry or other chores. I was in the middle of some chore when the first notes of St. Louis Blues played. Something strange happened that moment: I stopped whatever I was doing and listened. I'm not sure what drew me to the song, but I ended up listening to the entire three-minute track with chills all across my body and my heart racing. I distinctively remember thinking to myself, “What on earth have I been missing?” Since then, I’ve been listening to every jazz recording I could get my hands on. I’ve researched this music diligently, learning as much as I can about its past, its present, and its future.

So, am I qualified to write about jazz? As I write this, I am still unsure. What I am sure of is that if someone were to ask me how I feel about jazz, I would simply point them to this book. With all this being said, I would like to make my intentions of this book clear: This is MY interpretation of the music, the jazz music as I see it. It may be different than how others see the music, and that is perfectly fine. My goal for this book was not to create “end all, be all” statements on jazz, but to craft unique poems based on my perspective on the music.

On one of my favorite live jazz recordings, drummer Art Blakey exclaims “Wow! First time I enjoyed a record session!” I feel the same about this book. Writing these poems felt like the first time I enjoyed writing and my only hope is that readers enjoy them as well.

It was decided to delete this since it comes off as apologetic for writing something, which does not really need to be said as anyone can write about anything. It was also just filler and not related to the theme of the collection. Whatever the case, I am posting here for curiosity's sake.

My Life in Books

Reading has been a big part of my life, even before I realized that I wanted to be a writer. I had my nose in a book for most of my life, especially middle-school onward. Below is a list, in no particular order, of books that have made an impact on me up until today. This list always changes, as I find my tastes changing quite a bit over the years. These are not my all-time favorites per se, though some of them are. These will be short descriptions, as I encourage everyone to pick up these books soon if you have not read them.

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

I cite this as the first book I ever loved. This book taught me how powerful reading novels can be. The phrase "swept away" gets used too often for adventure books, but I have to indulge in some cliches. It's thrilling, it's romantic, it's everything you want in an adventure and more...so on and so forth. It was required reading in middle school, and up until that point, I wasn't reading much fiction. I was only interested in scientific/informational books at that time. This book changed everything for me. This book taught me that, yes, you can escape into another world through words. In middle school, I checked this book out from the school's library on a regular basis for that reason. Middle school sucked, but this book made it easier.

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

It's no secret that Murakami is one of my favorite modern authors. Norwegian Wood stands, in my eyes, as his masterwork. This opinion is so controversial that Murakami fans believe they reserve the right to pummel me with copies of Kafka on the Shore. Kafka is a brilliant novel, I agree. In fact, it was the first Murakami I read (a hell of a start, I know). Norwegian Wood was my second outing into the surreal mind of this Japanese author. I expected something akin to the metaphysical adventure of Kafka. It was anything but. Norwegian Wood is a love story about hate. All the characters have a strong resentment towards the world around them, all set in the backdrop of a turbulent time in Japanese history. That is what makes Norwegian Wood such a realistic novel to me. Despite all this realism, Murakami still adds his eccentric flair. Situations, characters, and locations are all touched with a haze of cloudy, fanciful mist. This is what makes Norwegian Wood unlike any romance novel I've read. Turn your mind off and read it as I did.

One Robe, One Bowl: The Zen Poetry of Ryokan by Ryokan, John Stevens (Translator)

Before reading this, I was not focused on poetry at all. My knowledge of poetry was the stuff they taught in school like "The Road Not Taken," or Homer's epics. Up until reading this beautiful collection, I did not understand poetry. I felt it was all aesthetics with little meaning. I would read words and not understand in the slightest what they meant. I found One Robe, One Bowl on accident -- at a college book sale. The title looked attractive, as did the author. I didn't care at that moment it was a collection of poems. It was cheap anyway. I read it the first thing I got home and became invested in Ryokan's story as a zen monk who wrote some of Japan's most beautiful poetry. His poems were personal, unpretentious, yet eccentric. I found deeper meaning in even his most simple passages describing everyday occurrences in his life. This collection made me realize that all poetry means something, we just have to open our hearts to understand it. I thank Ryokan for this epiphany. To understand "the Great Fool" known as Ryokan, one must read him and his life. This collection is the best way to go about it.

Selected Poems by Langston Hughes

This collection is special because Hughes himself chose the poems before his death. There is an intimacy knowing this as if he is standing next to you as you read. Some will make you sing praise, some will make you deeply uncomfortable, some will make you want to throw out the computer and never write again. I felt all of these at once reading this. Hughes, to me, is more of a musician than a writer. That's not to say he wasn't a good writer. Read "The Weary Blues" and tell me he wasn't gifted with word choice. But read it again out loud and look for the rhythm of it. Reading Hughes out loud brings new meaning to his work. You quickly begin to realize that these poems are to be sung from the soul, not read. Each poem in this collection, whether Hughes intended this or not while compiling it, is musical. It goes beyond typical songwriting rhyme and meter. There are accents, melodies, and even percussion happening as you read. On top of that, there's the improvisational style of Jazz-speak unfolding with each word. I've never seen a poet dance the way Hughes does, and what a mighty dancer he was. He danced the blues but with words.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

I don't like this book much anymore. When I first read it, I sang its praises and argued with people who hated it (being the hipster I was in high school). I see too many problems with this book the more I read it. It's outdated, the symbolism is as subtle as a punch in the face, and the themes aren't relatable anymore (this is all my opinion, of course). I read this book during that weird period in high school where you try to act all adult while your parents still do your laundry. I thought I related to its themes of the death of the American dream all when I was at the ever-so adult age of 14 years old... I hope you can feel how bad I'm cringing thinking back on this. Still, this book had an impact on me. It's well-written prose and the ending still gets me at times. But mainly, this novel taught me that there is a time and a place for the right book. I had a college professor who lamented, "Why in the hell do they teach you this book in high school? Read it as an adult. You'll cry over it more..."

Thank you for taking this short literary journey with me. There are still many books I need to read, and they might be added to this list in the future. Now if you excuse me, I need to finish what will probably my next favorite book, Anne of Green Gables...

Welcome to my blog!

I will regularly post upcoming news and giveaways as well as my thoughts and feelings on writing or my interests. I created this so that I can be connected to people who read my work, and so that people get a behind-the-scenes look at me.

Here are some updates:

There is a giveaway on Goodreads until July 17th! Enter for a chance to win a FREE Kindle copy of
Nights at the Turntable: Jazz Poetry
. For more info, click
I will be featured in a self-publishing spotlight at
I have been working on a new project. What will it be?...more details to come!

And that's about it for now. Thank you for checking out my new blog.