Sammantha Anderson's Blog, page 4
March 1, 2020
What A Rough Week It Has Been
This week has felt as if it has dragged on with no end in sight. I didn’t accomplish as much as I wanted to while editing this week. Or at least that’s the way it feels. I have had a long and hard work week with some grueling events and I just haven’t been sleeping all that great. The fact that I made it through the week without committing a homicide is quite the accomplishment. It has just been one of those weeks where I am happy it's over. As I sit here writing this post, I’m starting to think about what I did get done. What I accomplished in terms of editing, was thirty pages. I know that doesn’t seem like a lot but the fact that I added about seven pages to the manuscript just this past week is a lot of work. I have added almost fifteen pages to this manuscript over all and I am not even a quarter of the way through. There will be a lot more changes to come and additions to the book between now and when I finish this edit. There will be even more changes when it goes through three more edits before it is even published.
On top of my editing, I have in the last two week done six takeover parties which resulted in two more books being sold, six books I gave away and I connected to new prospective readers and new authors. I was able to join a new group for another paranormal author which means more opportunities for both of us.
I also accomplished getting the next cover paid for. The cover artist and I will begin brainstorming and creating Monday on the Bad Origins cover. This is an exciting process and it is a new artist I will be working with. Working with a new artist is a little scary. Every artist works a little differently and that means I am going to be learning what it is to design a cover all over again. She seems to want to know as much as possible about the book. As scary as it is, it’s also exciting. It thrills me to have someone new to talk to about my books. I have only a few individuals outside of my immediate circle, I actually get to talk to about the series. To be able to breakdown the books in order to create the best cover possible is fun and gets my creative juices flowing. It also makes me want to start the next book. I have already started some of the research for book six in the series and I am chomping at the bit to start drafting but I have to control myself. And that means so does Savannah. It also means my new friend has to control himself as well. He has given me a scene for his book and I have not had the opportunity to write it. I was working at my day job when he shared it with me. So it has been sitting there in my head, wanting to get out on the page. I will have to find the time to write it down without angering Savannah. She gets testy when I move over to write something we are not even working on.
The last thing I accomplished was paying the rest of my table fees for my first book event in 2021. I am so excited about this. It is more than a year away and yet I am ready to start jumping up and down because I am excited to take part in this event. I will get to meet authors I have only met through Facebook. I will get to meet some of my readers and hopefully get to meet people who will become readers. With the table fee paid it makes me think about what my branding will look like when it is finished. I have only seen the first part of it but my friend Val of Can’t Faze Me Custom Designs has been working on it this week. I am hoping I will get to see what the final product looks like within the next week or two. The branding will be on my social media pages, on my banner that Val is also making me and on new business cards. I may even put it on the backs of my bookmarks. I haven’t decided yet.
So has it been an unproductive week? No, not when I actually look at all I have accomplished. It was my goal to get more pages edited and to get that scene for my new series written but it didn’t happen. The pages I have been working on needed more attention than I realized at first glance. The brightside is, I realized they needed work and I didn’t rush through. I learned from my earlier mistake with book four. That in of itself is a win. I was able to pay for my cover and table fees which ensures I am moving forward. I have been doing more takeovers, meeting new people, and doing what I need to do. I have accomplished quite a bit this week, it’s just hard to see sometimes when you have had a difficult week.
When we have tough weeks like I have, it is hard to see what we have actually completed. It is hard to see that we made it through the week and met at least some of our goals. It is important to not let life get to you to the point that you feel like you have failed on every front. It is important to remember that even the smallest accomplishment is still a win. Keep your head up! Success doesn’t happen overnight. It is a long and hard battle that is won with many small accomplishments. Keep working hard and when you feel like you have accomplished nothing, take a moment and review all you have done. You may just surprise yourself with how much you have gotten done, and how many goals you did meet. Stay positive and keep pushing. Until next time!
On top of my editing, I have in the last two week done six takeover parties which resulted in two more books being sold, six books I gave away and I connected to new prospective readers and new authors. I was able to join a new group for another paranormal author which means more opportunities for both of us.
I also accomplished getting the next cover paid for. The cover artist and I will begin brainstorming and creating Monday on the Bad Origins cover. This is an exciting process and it is a new artist I will be working with. Working with a new artist is a little scary. Every artist works a little differently and that means I am going to be learning what it is to design a cover all over again. She seems to want to know as much as possible about the book. As scary as it is, it’s also exciting. It thrills me to have someone new to talk to about my books. I have only a few individuals outside of my immediate circle, I actually get to talk to about the series. To be able to breakdown the books in order to create the best cover possible is fun and gets my creative juices flowing. It also makes me want to start the next book. I have already started some of the research for book six in the series and I am chomping at the bit to start drafting but I have to control myself. And that means so does Savannah. It also means my new friend has to control himself as well. He has given me a scene for his book and I have not had the opportunity to write it. I was working at my day job when he shared it with me. So it has been sitting there in my head, wanting to get out on the page. I will have to find the time to write it down without angering Savannah. She gets testy when I move over to write something we are not even working on.
The last thing I accomplished was paying the rest of my table fees for my first book event in 2021. I am so excited about this. It is more than a year away and yet I am ready to start jumping up and down because I am excited to take part in this event. I will get to meet authors I have only met through Facebook. I will get to meet some of my readers and hopefully get to meet people who will become readers. With the table fee paid it makes me think about what my branding will look like when it is finished. I have only seen the first part of it but my friend Val of Can’t Faze Me Custom Designs has been working on it this week. I am hoping I will get to see what the final product looks like within the next week or two. The branding will be on my social media pages, on my banner that Val is also making me and on new business cards. I may even put it on the backs of my bookmarks. I haven’t decided yet.
So has it been an unproductive week? No, not when I actually look at all I have accomplished. It was my goal to get more pages edited and to get that scene for my new series written but it didn’t happen. The pages I have been working on needed more attention than I realized at first glance. The brightside is, I realized they needed work and I didn’t rush through. I learned from my earlier mistake with book four. That in of itself is a win. I was able to pay for my cover and table fees which ensures I am moving forward. I have been doing more takeovers, meeting new people, and doing what I need to do. I have accomplished quite a bit this week, it’s just hard to see sometimes when you have had a difficult week.
When we have tough weeks like I have, it is hard to see what we have actually completed. It is hard to see that we made it through the week and met at least some of our goals. It is important to not let life get to you to the point that you feel like you have failed on every front. It is important to remember that even the smallest accomplishment is still a win. Keep your head up! Success doesn’t happen overnight. It is a long and hard battle that is won with many small accomplishments. Keep working hard and when you feel like you have accomplished nothing, take a moment and review all you have done. You may just surprise yourself with how much you have gotten done, and how many goals you did meet. Stay positive and keep pushing. Until next time!
February 23, 2020
When Support Is Not Given
This week I have been thinking a lot about the last two years of my writing career. It has been a long road that has been paved with blood, sweat, and tears. It is a road I am proud of and one that I needed in so many ways. The fact that I didn’t realize I needed my writing until I went back to doing it, makes it even more special to me. In some ways, I feel like my writing career has saved me. It has helped me find who I was when I lost myself. I have talked on more than one occasion about the people who have helped me get to where I am. All the support I have been given. I am so grateful for those individuals and all of the friends I have made as well along the way. The authors I have made friends with are amazing people that make my life so much more enjoyable. The friends who are not authors are just as important to me as my author friends.
The thing is as great as my support team is, there are those that will never support me. We all have experienced this. Some of those people are people you may even feel should support you but don’t. It is heartbreaking to feel like you are failing, due to lack of support by those that should have your back. It makes you question if you are doing the right thing. It makes you ask yourself if you should be sacrificing so much of yourself when not everyone sees all the good it has brought you. Eventually, you have to make a decision if those people that do not support you, are right in their assessment of you. What I have learned is those who do not support you tend to do so out of selfishness. They see you struggling, working day and night, and they are not getting what they used to get from you. They see the work you are doing as if they are losing something. In a way they are right. You are not giving them all the attention they are used to getting from you. They are not getting your time or effort. Your true passion is. The other part of it is jealousy on their part. Maybe they haven’t found their true passion. Maybe they haven’t found what drives them to want greatness. Whatever the case, it is more a failure on their part.
So the question is what do you do? Do you give up what you have worked for? I can tell you that is not the answer. Do you try to be patient with them? The answer is yes, but to a point. There comes a point where you can be patient and try to give them time to adjust to your new life you have created. You changed the game and now they have to catch up. It happens and in some cases, people can adjust, it just takes time. On the other hand, there will be a few who will never adjust. They will do everything in their power to stop you from achieving your goals. They will try to sabotage you. They will accuse you of being too focused on your goals and ignoring them. They may even blame you for everything that is going wrong for them or how they are feeling. The thing is none of that is your fault. Some people will never be happy for you because of the simple fact that misery loves company. The only thing you can do is accept that they will never support you nor will they ever want to be part of what you are doing. And as much as it sucks to say this, it’s okay that they don’t. At the end of the day, the only one losing anything is them. They are missing out on this amazing journey you are on. They are missing out on being part of this transformation you are going through.
So stay your course. Learn that not everyone is your friend who pretends to be. Love yourself more than you do others. Love what you are doing. Anyone who doesn’t support you, it’s their loss. Cut the ties when you know they will never support you. Enjoy the memories of those people but see them for what they have become. Stay strong and be who you are. Until next time!
The thing is as great as my support team is, there are those that will never support me. We all have experienced this. Some of those people are people you may even feel should support you but don’t. It is heartbreaking to feel like you are failing, due to lack of support by those that should have your back. It makes you question if you are doing the right thing. It makes you ask yourself if you should be sacrificing so much of yourself when not everyone sees all the good it has brought you. Eventually, you have to make a decision if those people that do not support you, are right in their assessment of you. What I have learned is those who do not support you tend to do so out of selfishness. They see you struggling, working day and night, and they are not getting what they used to get from you. They see the work you are doing as if they are losing something. In a way they are right. You are not giving them all the attention they are used to getting from you. They are not getting your time or effort. Your true passion is. The other part of it is jealousy on their part. Maybe they haven’t found their true passion. Maybe they haven’t found what drives them to want greatness. Whatever the case, it is more a failure on their part.
So the question is what do you do? Do you give up what you have worked for? I can tell you that is not the answer. Do you try to be patient with them? The answer is yes, but to a point. There comes a point where you can be patient and try to give them time to adjust to your new life you have created. You changed the game and now they have to catch up. It happens and in some cases, people can adjust, it just takes time. On the other hand, there will be a few who will never adjust. They will do everything in their power to stop you from achieving your goals. They will try to sabotage you. They will accuse you of being too focused on your goals and ignoring them. They may even blame you for everything that is going wrong for them or how they are feeling. The thing is none of that is your fault. Some people will never be happy for you because of the simple fact that misery loves company. The only thing you can do is accept that they will never support you nor will they ever want to be part of what you are doing. And as much as it sucks to say this, it’s okay that they don’t. At the end of the day, the only one losing anything is them. They are missing out on this amazing journey you are on. They are missing out on being part of this transformation you are going through.
So stay your course. Learn that not everyone is your friend who pretends to be. Love yourself more than you do others. Love what you are doing. Anyone who doesn’t support you, it’s their loss. Cut the ties when you know they will never support you. Enjoy the memories of those people but see them for what they have become. Stay strong and be who you are. Until next time!
February 16, 2020
Sometimes life get's in the way
This week has been a very long and unproductive week or at least that’s how it feels. It has been one of those weeks, where I have felt like I have accomplished nothing. This was the first week of book five’s edit. I was excited to get this edit started because this book is written completely different than the rest of the series. It is also the start of the climax of the series. Exciting things are happening and I have been very unsure of this book since I started it. There are areas of the book that I love but there are also areas that I know need a lot of work. I am excited to start diving into the story. There is also the fact that I am itching to start drafting book six.
When Monday began I was ready to get started or at least I thought I was. I woke up an hour late, thenI had to deal with the fact that my son had a tooth ache and was trying to figure out if we had dental insurance like we should have had. To add to the chaos of my Monday morning, my daughter lost her glasses. I had no choice but to call into work and deal with the issues at hand. I spent almost three hours looking for my daughter’s glasses. The first hour of the search was spent looking for her old glasses so she would at least be able to see. The next two hours were spent tearing apart her room. I gave up at that point and made her an eye appointment. I found a dentist office that claimed to work with patients to arrange payments no matter if you had insurance or not, while I waited to find out what was going on with our insurance. I requested an appointment for my son online. An hour later, I got a call from the dental office. The woman I spoke with was rude and informed me they were not set up to work on kids and that the appointment would cost $146.00, which I didn’t have. I cancelled the appointment and treated his pain with tylenol and a warm salt water rinse. By ten o’clock, I was done for the day. I didn’t want to play anymore. I still had not gotten anything done on the computer. I was frustrated with life and wanted to go to bed to start again. I spent an hour with my friend Val in her home office BSing. Val works longer hours than I do and as of late she and I have been working nonstop to get shit done. She makes custom T-shirts and is the woman who makes my shirts for The Hellborn Series. She is also one of my best friends and is like family to me. When I need to vent she is there for me. On Monday, when I needed to laugh she helped me out. I am so grateful to have her in my life.
By eleven we had the answers to the dental insurance question but I had to push it to the back burner. I had to take my daughter to the eye doctor to get new glasses. She had the exam and by noon her glasses were ordered. A quick lunch and a call to the insurance company was next. I sat on hold for a while before I was told that I needed to call another number to get cards. I sat on hold for twenty minutes before I gave up on talking to anyone. I spent my afternoon at the dojo taking some of my aggression from the day out on a few bags. I tried and tried to get on the computer and every time I came into contact with my computer another thing cropped up. By six that night I gave up. I was tired and beat up. I hated taking the day off. I could feel Savannah as she seethed in my head at the lack of productivity of the day.
The rest of the week passed by slowly. I had issues getting up on time and I worked slowly to get the first three chapters done. Every time I tried to move faster, my brain shut down. I hated it and grumbled about it all week. By Friday, I was over the week and wanted to cry. I felt like I was starting to fail Savannah. I have accepted I won’t be able to get more than a chapter done on most days. The first chapter is short. I should have been able to get two chapters done on Tuesday, but I didn’t. The third chapter is a heavier chapter but I only got the first five pages done of that chapter on Thursday. What the hell was wrong with me? First I fail to get anything accomplished on Monday and the rest of the week I only got three chapters done. What was going on? Truthfully, I have no answer to why this week was such a struggle other than to say that sometimes life says it has to be. The upside to this week was I did meet a new person in my head. He and his brothers will be another series that I will be starting in the next six months. I met him while I was tutoring my friend Val’s daughter. We have been working on fiction writing. She is in fourth grade and they are learning about different forms of writing. I have been trying to teach her how to be descriptive. We’re getting there but we are still having some issues. I had the same problem when I started writing so I understand why she is struggling. The best way to learn is to write. So I had her doing a free write. I read the prompt and loved it. As soon as I read it to her my new friend popped up. At the time I was bouncing between three kids doing homework so I wrote the first two pages of the new series in between helping all three of the kids. He only gave me a taste of his story but it gave me a thrill to see what he has in store for me.
With this week finally behind me, I started thinking about what went wrong and why. I’m starting to think that the reason the week was tough was that my new friend was blocking Savannah’s path to me. I have had this sense for about two weeks that there was something happening in my head but I didn’t know what it was. I just knew something was brewing. I was so focused on Savannah and everyone else I wasn’t allowing anything else to come through. Monday forced Savannah and I to take a break which allowed my new friend to come through and say “Hey, I have a story for you to dictate. Pay attention!” Maybe that was what I needed without even realizing it? As tough as this week has been, I am starting to think that Monday was what it was meant to be. I got to enjoy an hour with my friend and just laugh. She and I got to talk about my branding and start working on it which we have been trying to accomplish for the last few weeks. We got to do something that wasn’t just working. The break also meant I met someone new and I get to start a new series soon. That is exciting. Maybe life just gave me the break I wasn’t willing to give myself.
If you have a week where you just can’t get done the amount of work you wish you could. Or you have a day now and again that just doesn’t play out the way you want it to, let it go. Start anew and don’t sweat the small stuff. Maybe it was just a week that you only get half of what you wanted accomplish. That’s okay because you still got something accomplished. If you feel there is something creative trying to get your attention, pay attention to it. Don’t ignore it, see what it is. Explore what is trying to get your attention. You can take an hour of your time to see what is happening. Stay positive about what you are doing. Until next time!
When Monday began I was ready to get started or at least I thought I was. I woke up an hour late, thenI had to deal with the fact that my son had a tooth ache and was trying to figure out if we had dental insurance like we should have had. To add to the chaos of my Monday morning, my daughter lost her glasses. I had no choice but to call into work and deal with the issues at hand. I spent almost three hours looking for my daughter’s glasses. The first hour of the search was spent looking for her old glasses so she would at least be able to see. The next two hours were spent tearing apart her room. I gave up at that point and made her an eye appointment. I found a dentist office that claimed to work with patients to arrange payments no matter if you had insurance or not, while I waited to find out what was going on with our insurance. I requested an appointment for my son online. An hour later, I got a call from the dental office. The woman I spoke with was rude and informed me they were not set up to work on kids and that the appointment would cost $146.00, which I didn’t have. I cancelled the appointment and treated his pain with tylenol and a warm salt water rinse. By ten o’clock, I was done for the day. I didn’t want to play anymore. I still had not gotten anything done on the computer. I was frustrated with life and wanted to go to bed to start again. I spent an hour with my friend Val in her home office BSing. Val works longer hours than I do and as of late she and I have been working nonstop to get shit done. She makes custom T-shirts and is the woman who makes my shirts for The Hellborn Series. She is also one of my best friends and is like family to me. When I need to vent she is there for me. On Monday, when I needed to laugh she helped me out. I am so grateful to have her in my life.
By eleven we had the answers to the dental insurance question but I had to push it to the back burner. I had to take my daughter to the eye doctor to get new glasses. She had the exam and by noon her glasses were ordered. A quick lunch and a call to the insurance company was next. I sat on hold for a while before I was told that I needed to call another number to get cards. I sat on hold for twenty minutes before I gave up on talking to anyone. I spent my afternoon at the dojo taking some of my aggression from the day out on a few bags. I tried and tried to get on the computer and every time I came into contact with my computer another thing cropped up. By six that night I gave up. I was tired and beat up. I hated taking the day off. I could feel Savannah as she seethed in my head at the lack of productivity of the day.
The rest of the week passed by slowly. I had issues getting up on time and I worked slowly to get the first three chapters done. Every time I tried to move faster, my brain shut down. I hated it and grumbled about it all week. By Friday, I was over the week and wanted to cry. I felt like I was starting to fail Savannah. I have accepted I won’t be able to get more than a chapter done on most days. The first chapter is short. I should have been able to get two chapters done on Tuesday, but I didn’t. The third chapter is a heavier chapter but I only got the first five pages done of that chapter on Thursday. What the hell was wrong with me? First I fail to get anything accomplished on Monday and the rest of the week I only got three chapters done. What was going on? Truthfully, I have no answer to why this week was such a struggle other than to say that sometimes life says it has to be. The upside to this week was I did meet a new person in my head. He and his brothers will be another series that I will be starting in the next six months. I met him while I was tutoring my friend Val’s daughter. We have been working on fiction writing. She is in fourth grade and they are learning about different forms of writing. I have been trying to teach her how to be descriptive. We’re getting there but we are still having some issues. I had the same problem when I started writing so I understand why she is struggling. The best way to learn is to write. So I had her doing a free write. I read the prompt and loved it. As soon as I read it to her my new friend popped up. At the time I was bouncing between three kids doing homework so I wrote the first two pages of the new series in between helping all three of the kids. He only gave me a taste of his story but it gave me a thrill to see what he has in store for me.
With this week finally behind me, I started thinking about what went wrong and why. I’m starting to think that the reason the week was tough was that my new friend was blocking Savannah’s path to me. I have had this sense for about two weeks that there was something happening in my head but I didn’t know what it was. I just knew something was brewing. I was so focused on Savannah and everyone else I wasn’t allowing anything else to come through. Monday forced Savannah and I to take a break which allowed my new friend to come through and say “Hey, I have a story for you to dictate. Pay attention!” Maybe that was what I needed without even realizing it? As tough as this week has been, I am starting to think that Monday was what it was meant to be. I got to enjoy an hour with my friend and just laugh. She and I got to talk about my branding and start working on it which we have been trying to accomplish for the last few weeks. We got to do something that wasn’t just working. The break also meant I met someone new and I get to start a new series soon. That is exciting. Maybe life just gave me the break I wasn’t willing to give myself.
If you have a week where you just can’t get done the amount of work you wish you could. Or you have a day now and again that just doesn’t play out the way you want it to, let it go. Start anew and don’t sweat the small stuff. Maybe it was just a week that you only get half of what you wanted accomplish. That’s okay because you still got something accomplished. If you feel there is something creative trying to get your attention, pay attention to it. Don’t ignore it, see what it is. Explore what is trying to get your attention. You can take an hour of your time to see what is happening. Stay positive about what you are doing. Until next time!
February 9, 2020
Sharing Emotions
This week I accomplished finishing my second edit on book two. I felt that sense of accomplishment as I read the last page. There was also a sense of loss as I read that final page. The loss had more to do with the big death scene scene that happens at the end of the book. I knew it was meant to be. It was a death that needed to happen but it was one I am grieving in the most difficult way. I know the individual who died is not real. It is an individual who lives in my head but it is causing me great pain nevertheless. I have written the first chapter to book six and the final few chapters of that book, I know there is a large possibility of more deaths to come. The fact that I am grieving the loss of one individual makes me question if I really need to kill off anyone else. I’m sure my heart can handle more death, it causes me to look at my other options. Is there a way to save my precious beings from dying? Is it realistic to do so? The answer is sometimes we have to kill someone, even if it kills a small part of us.
I have been questioning Savannah for weeks now about what she has shown me. She has not fully shown me everything that will happen but she has shown me enough. Book six will be rough. We will already be dealing with a lot of loss at that point and to have more just seems cruel, to me and to my readers. I mean how much more can we all take? I have been asking her if we can save certain people and the response I have gotten is “you will have to wait”. I really hate that answer. In some ways it is just downright mean of her not to answer me. I get why she is waiting to tell me anything else, I still have to do my first read through of book five. If she tells me more then I will get distracted, it doesn’t make any of this any easier.
So do all authors feel loss like I do? No, they don’t. Some authors see it as just part of writing. Their characters are just that, fictional characters. For me, my characters are real. They are a part of me. When Savannah cries I do as well. I feel all her pain and sorrow or happiness and laughter. One of my favorite scenes is in Bad Karma; Savannah is dealing with the emotional pain and shame of being sexually assaulted, Santiago comes to see her at Meri’s house and they have this moment. It is a tender moment between the two of them and I can feel everything she is feeling. When I have read that scene during live reads I get teary eyed because I am so deeply connected to Savannah. It is one of my favorite scenes I have ever written. When she tells me we are going to lose someone I want to cry and plead with her but I know it will do nothing to change the outcome. This loss I have had to relive for a third time hit me just as hard as the first time, I was so stunned and hurt by it. I had to take a moment before I could finish reading through. It was heart wrenching.
Maybe all of this makes me a little crazy that I am so connected to my fictional characters? There is a possibility of that but I think it makes me a better writer. I think it means I am more invested in what happens next with Savannah and her family. I have a personal investment in everyone of these individuals and it means I put more of myself into what I am doing. I’m sure some would say I am taking it too far. That’s fine. The truth is those who are not as invested in their stories, it shows in what they put on paper. You can see the disconnect between writer and character. You can feel that there was no joy in what they were doing when they wrote the book. It means there is less joy for the reader as well. It transfers so clearly to the reader. If I can feel the lack of joy and connection between writer and character I lose interest in the book quickly. It means the writer does not care what is happening in the world they are building. They are just going through the motions at that point.
Putting a piece of your soul on paper for others to read already says you’re crazy. Putting that joy and sadness for others to feel with you is something special. It is opening yourself up on an entirely different level to people. So connect to what you are doing. Put your soul out there. Let people call you crazy. I know plenty of people who call me crazy, I’m fine with it. Feel every bit of what you are writing because then so will your readers. Until next time!
I have been questioning Savannah for weeks now about what she has shown me. She has not fully shown me everything that will happen but she has shown me enough. Book six will be rough. We will already be dealing with a lot of loss at that point and to have more just seems cruel, to me and to my readers. I mean how much more can we all take? I have been asking her if we can save certain people and the response I have gotten is “you will have to wait”. I really hate that answer. In some ways it is just downright mean of her not to answer me. I get why she is waiting to tell me anything else, I still have to do my first read through of book five. If she tells me more then I will get distracted, it doesn’t make any of this any easier.
So do all authors feel loss like I do? No, they don’t. Some authors see it as just part of writing. Their characters are just that, fictional characters. For me, my characters are real. They are a part of me. When Savannah cries I do as well. I feel all her pain and sorrow or happiness and laughter. One of my favorite scenes is in Bad Karma; Savannah is dealing with the emotional pain and shame of being sexually assaulted, Santiago comes to see her at Meri’s house and they have this moment. It is a tender moment between the two of them and I can feel everything she is feeling. When I have read that scene during live reads I get teary eyed because I am so deeply connected to Savannah. It is one of my favorite scenes I have ever written. When she tells me we are going to lose someone I want to cry and plead with her but I know it will do nothing to change the outcome. This loss I have had to relive for a third time hit me just as hard as the first time, I was so stunned and hurt by it. I had to take a moment before I could finish reading through. It was heart wrenching.
Maybe all of this makes me a little crazy that I am so connected to my fictional characters? There is a possibility of that but I think it makes me a better writer. I think it means I am more invested in what happens next with Savannah and her family. I have a personal investment in everyone of these individuals and it means I put more of myself into what I am doing. I’m sure some would say I am taking it too far. That’s fine. The truth is those who are not as invested in their stories, it shows in what they put on paper. You can see the disconnect between writer and character. You can feel that there was no joy in what they were doing when they wrote the book. It means there is less joy for the reader as well. It transfers so clearly to the reader. If I can feel the lack of joy and connection between writer and character I lose interest in the book quickly. It means the writer does not care what is happening in the world they are building. They are just going through the motions at that point.
Putting a piece of your soul on paper for others to read already says you’re crazy. Putting that joy and sadness for others to feel with you is something special. It is opening yourself up on an entirely different level to people. So connect to what you are doing. Put your soul out there. Let people call you crazy. I know plenty of people who call me crazy, I’m fine with it. Feel every bit of what you are writing because then so will your readers. Until next time!
February 2, 2020
New Adventures
This week was one of those weeks where I got a number of things done but I am starting to think towards the future. I go through that a cycle. It usually happens when I am editing multiple books. I am so focused on getting my editing done that maybe my brain needs a break and starts to think about what I want to take on next. Maybe it is the repetition of editing. In some ways I love editing. It is a beautiful process in my opinion. You take this manuscript that you have poured blood, sweat, and tears into and you make it better. You tear it apart in order to build something better. The thing with editing is that when you spend months doing it, your creative brain does get a bit over the consent working instead of creating. I believe that is what has been happening this week.
What ends up happening is when I am suppose to be resting or hanging out with my kids, or talking to my mom, my mind begins to think about what I want to write next. I think about which characters I want to dive into next. I start to think of the future of my series and what I will do next. This usually gets Savannah’s wheels turning and she starts throwing scenes at me. As you know, I plan to work on Liam’s story in like two books. He has given me a small glimpse of what is in store for me. I have to say I am a little nervous about his book. I am also excited to spend some time with him as well. My brain also dives into what I can do to gain more readers. How can I get my name out there more than I already am? The creative juices start flowing and sometimes it is had to stop the thoughts from taking over everything. This week that happened. It is a thought I have had on more than one occasion which normally I push it aside. It is a crazy idea and I already am super busy. Why do I need to do one more thing? I have no answer to that last question. Anyway, I have been thinking about starting a book group for authors and readers alike. I am part of a number of book groups that I do a lot of takeovers on Facebook. I take part in events on these pages as a reader. I have learned a number of things from all of these pages. So why start another one? The answer to that question is because I want to create something with a few of the friends I have made. I want a place that is for my friends and myself.
I have been thinking about this idea for a long time. I have always dismissed it until the other day when a friend and I were talking. I actually have no clue how we started talking about it but it just sort of happened. When those moments happen, I tend to look at them as a sign. If it was meant to be then we wouldn’t have started talking about this. As soon as she said the words I knew I wanted to do it with her and another friend. These two authors, I trust and I have built a friendship with. I have opened up to them on more than one occasion, so I know I can trust them. In order for me to do this, I need to be able to trust the people I am going on this adventure with. For me, trust is not an easy thing. I trust few in my life because I have been burned too many times to count. The fact that I trust both of these ladies says I am making the right decision. The other sign was as soon as my friend said the name she was thinking of for this page, I knew it was what we were meant to do next. I heard the name and my wheels started turning. I am a bit OCD when it comes to certain things. I like to have a calendar, where I have everything written down. I like to know what I am doing from day to day. I am a person you can set your watch by. So my brain started thinking about schedules. What would we post? When would we post? Do we let authors just post anything and everything, whenever they want? I started there with my part. I started writing down a posting schedule. I started thinking about what I want to see in a book group page. I wrote the schedule in a matter of thirty minutes. Shortly thereafter I started thinking about graphics. Now, I am still learning how to make graphics for my own teasers, so doing this group would mean I need to improve my skills. It is something I have wanted to get better at and now this will push me to learn more than what I have done so far. I can feel the excitement building inside of me the more we talk about this idea.
The questions that I am now thinking about is when is the right time to start a new adventure? I have a full schedule as it is. Should I be doing this? The answer to these questions is first off yes I should take this on. Part of the reason I have dismissed the idea in the past is out of fear of being able to do it by myself. I worry I will fail to make the page interesting. There are already hundreds of book groups out there why do we need one more? The answer to that one is, you can never have too many book groups. It’s like having to many books, there is no such thing. The answer to my first question is maybe not the answer any of you want to hear. It is never a good time to start an adventure. There is always reasons not to start something new. What if I fail? What if I screw up? What if no one joins? Those are all valid fears but what if you succeed? In some ways that is just as terrifying. The thing is if you listen to those what if’s or say I can’t because of this or that. You will never do anything. You will never know if you can succeed. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and see what happens. That is what I am doing. Living scared is not the way to live. I have learned that the hard way.
So take the leap. Start that adventure you have always denied yourself. If you fail there was a lesson for you to learn. And try again. If you succeed keep going. Do not worry about what it will mean to fail. Just keep going. Keep working hard. Keep dreaming big. And above all else take a chance on a new adventure. Until next time!
What ends up happening is when I am suppose to be resting or hanging out with my kids, or talking to my mom, my mind begins to think about what I want to write next. I think about which characters I want to dive into next. I start to think of the future of my series and what I will do next. This usually gets Savannah’s wheels turning and she starts throwing scenes at me. As you know, I plan to work on Liam’s story in like two books. He has given me a small glimpse of what is in store for me. I have to say I am a little nervous about his book. I am also excited to spend some time with him as well. My brain also dives into what I can do to gain more readers. How can I get my name out there more than I already am? The creative juices start flowing and sometimes it is had to stop the thoughts from taking over everything. This week that happened. It is a thought I have had on more than one occasion which normally I push it aside. It is a crazy idea and I already am super busy. Why do I need to do one more thing? I have no answer to that last question. Anyway, I have been thinking about starting a book group for authors and readers alike. I am part of a number of book groups that I do a lot of takeovers on Facebook. I take part in events on these pages as a reader. I have learned a number of things from all of these pages. So why start another one? The answer to that question is because I want to create something with a few of the friends I have made. I want a place that is for my friends and myself.
I have been thinking about this idea for a long time. I have always dismissed it until the other day when a friend and I were talking. I actually have no clue how we started talking about it but it just sort of happened. When those moments happen, I tend to look at them as a sign. If it was meant to be then we wouldn’t have started talking about this. As soon as she said the words I knew I wanted to do it with her and another friend. These two authors, I trust and I have built a friendship with. I have opened up to them on more than one occasion, so I know I can trust them. In order for me to do this, I need to be able to trust the people I am going on this adventure with. For me, trust is not an easy thing. I trust few in my life because I have been burned too many times to count. The fact that I trust both of these ladies says I am making the right decision. The other sign was as soon as my friend said the name she was thinking of for this page, I knew it was what we were meant to do next. I heard the name and my wheels started turning. I am a bit OCD when it comes to certain things. I like to have a calendar, where I have everything written down. I like to know what I am doing from day to day. I am a person you can set your watch by. So my brain started thinking about schedules. What would we post? When would we post? Do we let authors just post anything and everything, whenever they want? I started there with my part. I started writing down a posting schedule. I started thinking about what I want to see in a book group page. I wrote the schedule in a matter of thirty minutes. Shortly thereafter I started thinking about graphics. Now, I am still learning how to make graphics for my own teasers, so doing this group would mean I need to improve my skills. It is something I have wanted to get better at and now this will push me to learn more than what I have done so far. I can feel the excitement building inside of me the more we talk about this idea.
The questions that I am now thinking about is when is the right time to start a new adventure? I have a full schedule as it is. Should I be doing this? The answer to these questions is first off yes I should take this on. Part of the reason I have dismissed the idea in the past is out of fear of being able to do it by myself. I worry I will fail to make the page interesting. There are already hundreds of book groups out there why do we need one more? The answer to that one is, you can never have too many book groups. It’s like having to many books, there is no such thing. The answer to my first question is maybe not the answer any of you want to hear. It is never a good time to start an adventure. There is always reasons not to start something new. What if I fail? What if I screw up? What if no one joins? Those are all valid fears but what if you succeed? In some ways that is just as terrifying. The thing is if you listen to those what if’s or say I can’t because of this or that. You will never do anything. You will never know if you can succeed. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and see what happens. That is what I am doing. Living scared is not the way to live. I have learned that the hard way.
So take the leap. Start that adventure you have always denied yourself. If you fail there was a lesson for you to learn. And try again. If you succeed keep going. Do not worry about what it will mean to fail. Just keep going. Keep working hard. Keep dreaming big. And above all else take a chance on a new adventure. Until next time!
January 26, 2020
No Skipping
I have been thinking about this weeks blog for the past several days. I have been trying to figure out what I should talk to you guys about this week. The editing process can be boring and doesn’t always inspire us. The inspiration for this one came from two places, a conversation I had with my mom and something one of my sensei’s said.
I tested for my orange belt this week. During our test there is a lot of holding front position while he talks about what we will be facing in this test. We learn a number of forms, movements, strikes, and kicks. Each movement has a purpose. It is a test of endurance and not just of skills we have learned. One of the things he talks about is you will only get out of the test what you put in. The more effort you put in, the more tired you will be but the more you get out of your test. You have to start each test giving everything you have. You never start with only half the effort and work up. You give it all you have from start to finish. Do not skip steps. Follow through with each form that you are ordered to perform. Short cuts are not acceptable. Every step of the form is important because it all has a purpose. This is not just true about karate, it’s also true about every aspect in life.
In many ways, I have created my own form when it comes to writing. Each writer has their own form that works for them. I draft a book and then go back to work on an edit for the previous book. Once that edit is complete, I do an edit on the book I just finished drafting. From there I get to start drafting the next book. From time to time during editing, Savannah may give me a scene. I write it and put it to the side and get back to whatever I am suppose to be doing. It is what works for me and always has. It gives me a break from what I have just drafted, allowing me to have fresh eyes when it is time to start the editing on that book and for Savannah to take a break. She gets just as worn out as I do when we are drafting.
I have been working on editing book four and I have a long way to go before I get to move back to creating. Savannah has given me a scene that I have to write soon before she starts harping on me. I am itching to start drafting the next book because of that scene. I want to know what Savannah will give me next. I am also wanting to start drafting Liam’s book, which is two books away. I have been given a scene from that book as well. I am ready to start drafting now.
It would be easy to dump the editing for now and move on to the next book. The problem is I would be skipping steps on my form I have created for my writing process. It is a form I created only for me. No one would know if I skipped on the form but me. So why not just do it? I want to start creating, Savannah wants me to. Hell, even Liam my quiet Irishmen wants me to get started. The problem is form is everything. It will mean I am neglecting the entire form and not just skipping a piece of it. It also means I am not giving my all. I am only giving half the effort. I’m not okay with that.
This leads to the conversation with my mom. She has always taught me no matter what you are doing, do it to the best of your ability. If you are a trash collector, be the best trash collector you can be. Cutting corners is not putting forth your best effort. What it is doing, is short changing yourself and the work you are doing. The ones that suffers the most when you do this is you and your readers. Now I don’t have a lot of readers but I do have some. If I cut corners that means the story I put out there is not as good as it could be. They are getting less of what they fell in love with. That is not fair to them. My readers are the most amazing people I have ever known. They love Savannah and Santiago. They are itching for the next book because of their love for them. I can’t skip steps no matter how much I may want to or the fact that my readers are dying for the next book. They have to be patient just as Savannah and Liam need to be. I need to work the form I have created. I need to put forth my best effort to ensure I produce the best work I possibly can. I will be tired and may even want to stop but at the end of it I will have something I can be proud.
So make sure you are following through. Don’t skip steps, don’t half ass any part of your form. Follow through. Push yourself to give all you have to what you are doing. Your work will show your efforts. It means your readers will fall more in love with your story and so will you. Keep that in mind when you start thinking that it is okay to skip even the smallest of steps. Until next time!
I tested for my orange belt this week. During our test there is a lot of holding front position while he talks about what we will be facing in this test. We learn a number of forms, movements, strikes, and kicks. Each movement has a purpose. It is a test of endurance and not just of skills we have learned. One of the things he talks about is you will only get out of the test what you put in. The more effort you put in, the more tired you will be but the more you get out of your test. You have to start each test giving everything you have. You never start with only half the effort and work up. You give it all you have from start to finish. Do not skip steps. Follow through with each form that you are ordered to perform. Short cuts are not acceptable. Every step of the form is important because it all has a purpose. This is not just true about karate, it’s also true about every aspect in life.
In many ways, I have created my own form when it comes to writing. Each writer has their own form that works for them. I draft a book and then go back to work on an edit for the previous book. Once that edit is complete, I do an edit on the book I just finished drafting. From there I get to start drafting the next book. From time to time during editing, Savannah may give me a scene. I write it and put it to the side and get back to whatever I am suppose to be doing. It is what works for me and always has. It gives me a break from what I have just drafted, allowing me to have fresh eyes when it is time to start the editing on that book and for Savannah to take a break. She gets just as worn out as I do when we are drafting.
I have been working on editing book four and I have a long way to go before I get to move back to creating. Savannah has given me a scene that I have to write soon before she starts harping on me. I am itching to start drafting the next book because of that scene. I want to know what Savannah will give me next. I am also wanting to start drafting Liam’s book, which is two books away. I have been given a scene from that book as well. I am ready to start drafting now.
It would be easy to dump the editing for now and move on to the next book. The problem is I would be skipping steps on my form I have created for my writing process. It is a form I created only for me. No one would know if I skipped on the form but me. So why not just do it? I want to start creating, Savannah wants me to. Hell, even Liam my quiet Irishmen wants me to get started. The problem is form is everything. It will mean I am neglecting the entire form and not just skipping a piece of it. It also means I am not giving my all. I am only giving half the effort. I’m not okay with that.
This leads to the conversation with my mom. She has always taught me no matter what you are doing, do it to the best of your ability. If you are a trash collector, be the best trash collector you can be. Cutting corners is not putting forth your best effort. What it is doing, is short changing yourself and the work you are doing. The ones that suffers the most when you do this is you and your readers. Now I don’t have a lot of readers but I do have some. If I cut corners that means the story I put out there is not as good as it could be. They are getting less of what they fell in love with. That is not fair to them. My readers are the most amazing people I have ever known. They love Savannah and Santiago. They are itching for the next book because of their love for them. I can’t skip steps no matter how much I may want to or the fact that my readers are dying for the next book. They have to be patient just as Savannah and Liam need to be. I need to work the form I have created. I need to put forth my best effort to ensure I produce the best work I possibly can. I will be tired and may even want to stop but at the end of it I will have something I can be proud.
So make sure you are following through. Don’t skip steps, don’t half ass any part of your form. Follow through. Push yourself to give all you have to what you are doing. Your work will show your efforts. It means your readers will fall more in love with your story and so will you. Keep that in mind when you start thinking that it is okay to skip even the smallest of steps. Until next time!
January 19, 2020
Baseball Or The Bat
This week was a rough week. Sometimes you’re the baseball, sometimes you’re the bat. This week I was the baseball. I work at a school and we have a lot of illness going around between the stomach bug and influenza B. We have been short staffed and kids getting ill, it’s been a nightmare. And of course the day we are missing two of our staff is the day most of our students come back to school. So you can imagine how that went. I also dropped my laptop on the power cord and broke the power cord. The replacement cord comes in today so all week I have had to use my kids’ computer, which is not the most ideal thing at the moment. I can’t use my desk and I am sitting in a corner of my living to do all of my work.
To add to the week, my oldest has been struggling more in school because her learning disability. She has always struggled when it comes to math. She has found ways to work around her disability when it comes to writing. It took us the first four years of her education to deal with the writing aspect of the disability but we found the tricks that worked for her. Reading has always been her strong suit. I have read to her chapter books since she was in the womb. She and I have spent hours of her life reading with one another. In all honesty, it is the smartest thing I have ever done as a parent with both of my kids. Now we are facing a new challenge in math and we have not found any tricks that are working for her. She does not get services at school and this week her struggles have taken a toll on her. We have had no less than three meltdowns with me holding her as she cries and me trying to find a way to comfort her. I have a learning disability as well and they are hereditary. I struggled all through school because I received no help from the school district that I attended and seeing that she is experiencing the same problems, breaks me, making me feel absolutely like it is my fault. I have had my own meltdowns this week, in private where I allowed all of it to just pour out of me. By last night, I felt as if I was coming down with the stomach bug. I ended up falling asleep for an hour Friday afternoon. I skipped karate because eating was out of the question and sick to my stomach.
So how does this relate to writing. Well anything happening in our lives connects to our writing. With the Hell I have endured this week between my job, illness, and my personal life, I have been struggling. I’m not sleeping well and there are nights where sleep evades me entirely. Working out has been a struggle because of the lack of sleep. One morning I woke up an hour late, I didn’t get a workout in that morning, I had to do it when I got home that evening. It completely messed up my routine. The first couple mornings I was proud of the work I accomplished in the editing I am working on. I was able to get four chapters done in three mornings. Then it slowed down and I began to struggle. My week got progressively worse as the days passed by. I was trying to edit Thursday morning and read the same paragraph three times before I could take in what I was reading. When you have a learning disability and high stress levels the disability becomes worse. You are less focused, which means the tricks you use are not being utilized. That’s what was happening by Thursday. My brain was not comprehending any of the information I was reading and that is part of my disability. After the third time I realized what was happening. I had to stop, take a few deep breaths and recenter myself before I went on. If I didn’t, I would continue to read and not comprehend anything in front of me. I took five minutes to calm myself down before I turned back to the computer and began to read each sentence out loud. A few of the sentences took a few tries of me reading them out loud and slowly, to see what I needed to do to fix and understand what was on the page but I did it. I spent the rest of my time while my kids got ready for school reading the chapter out loud to myself at a much slower pace than normal. The chapter took longer than it should have but I completed it and then had to rush to finish getting ready for work. It was completely exhausting and frustrating.
We all try to dedicate so much of ourselves to our craft. We have day jobs, families, and so many other things happening all the time. I know when I sit down at the computer, I try to tune out the world around me. I try to ignore all of my worries, stresses, and what I still have to accomplish and focus all of my energy on Savannah. The problem is sometimes the other parts of our lives invades our craft. It’s frustrating and you wonder what can you do to change it. The fact is there is not much you can do. What is in your power, is to be honest with yourself when it happens and take a moment to recenter yourself. It took me rereading the same paragraph three times to understand I was not comprehending anything I was reading. As soon as I did, I did what I needed to do to fix the problem. I took the time to breathe through all of the worries I was feeling before I turned back to the computer and worked. Some you may need to go for a run or dance or maybe have a cup of coffee before you sit down and try again. The best advice I can give is do not just shut down completely and throw your hands in the air. Find what re-centers you and do it. Once you are re-centered get back to work. Giving up will not get you anywhere. If anything it will make things worse for you. If you give up once then it is easy to give up again and again. Eventually you will have every excuse in the world not to continue. Life is hard. It is definitely not for the faint of heart. It makes our accomplishments that much sweeter when we get there.
So don’t give up. Don’t let the struggles in life beat you. They are only a test of your desire to keep going. Find your tricks that help you keep going. Take the moment you need to breathe through what you are feeling. Until next time!
To add to the week, my oldest has been struggling more in school because her learning disability. She has always struggled when it comes to math. She has found ways to work around her disability when it comes to writing. It took us the first four years of her education to deal with the writing aspect of the disability but we found the tricks that worked for her. Reading has always been her strong suit. I have read to her chapter books since she was in the womb. She and I have spent hours of her life reading with one another. In all honesty, it is the smartest thing I have ever done as a parent with both of my kids. Now we are facing a new challenge in math and we have not found any tricks that are working for her. She does not get services at school and this week her struggles have taken a toll on her. We have had no less than three meltdowns with me holding her as she cries and me trying to find a way to comfort her. I have a learning disability as well and they are hereditary. I struggled all through school because I received no help from the school district that I attended and seeing that she is experiencing the same problems, breaks me, making me feel absolutely like it is my fault. I have had my own meltdowns this week, in private where I allowed all of it to just pour out of me. By last night, I felt as if I was coming down with the stomach bug. I ended up falling asleep for an hour Friday afternoon. I skipped karate because eating was out of the question and sick to my stomach.
So how does this relate to writing. Well anything happening in our lives connects to our writing. With the Hell I have endured this week between my job, illness, and my personal life, I have been struggling. I’m not sleeping well and there are nights where sleep evades me entirely. Working out has been a struggle because of the lack of sleep. One morning I woke up an hour late, I didn’t get a workout in that morning, I had to do it when I got home that evening. It completely messed up my routine. The first couple mornings I was proud of the work I accomplished in the editing I am working on. I was able to get four chapters done in three mornings. Then it slowed down and I began to struggle. My week got progressively worse as the days passed by. I was trying to edit Thursday morning and read the same paragraph three times before I could take in what I was reading. When you have a learning disability and high stress levels the disability becomes worse. You are less focused, which means the tricks you use are not being utilized. That’s what was happening by Thursday. My brain was not comprehending any of the information I was reading and that is part of my disability. After the third time I realized what was happening. I had to stop, take a few deep breaths and recenter myself before I went on. If I didn’t, I would continue to read and not comprehend anything in front of me. I took five minutes to calm myself down before I turned back to the computer and began to read each sentence out loud. A few of the sentences took a few tries of me reading them out loud and slowly, to see what I needed to do to fix and understand what was on the page but I did it. I spent the rest of my time while my kids got ready for school reading the chapter out loud to myself at a much slower pace than normal. The chapter took longer than it should have but I completed it and then had to rush to finish getting ready for work. It was completely exhausting and frustrating.
We all try to dedicate so much of ourselves to our craft. We have day jobs, families, and so many other things happening all the time. I know when I sit down at the computer, I try to tune out the world around me. I try to ignore all of my worries, stresses, and what I still have to accomplish and focus all of my energy on Savannah. The problem is sometimes the other parts of our lives invades our craft. It’s frustrating and you wonder what can you do to change it. The fact is there is not much you can do. What is in your power, is to be honest with yourself when it happens and take a moment to recenter yourself. It took me rereading the same paragraph three times to understand I was not comprehending anything I was reading. As soon as I did, I did what I needed to do to fix the problem. I took the time to breathe through all of the worries I was feeling before I turned back to the computer and worked. Some you may need to go for a run or dance or maybe have a cup of coffee before you sit down and try again. The best advice I can give is do not just shut down completely and throw your hands in the air. Find what re-centers you and do it. Once you are re-centered get back to work. Giving up will not get you anywhere. If anything it will make things worse for you. If you give up once then it is easy to give up again and again. Eventually you will have every excuse in the world not to continue. Life is hard. It is definitely not for the faint of heart. It makes our accomplishments that much sweeter when we get there.
So don’t give up. Don’t let the struggles in life beat you. They are only a test of your desire to keep going. Find your tricks that help you keep going. Take the moment you need to breathe through what you are feeling. Until next time!
January 12, 2020
Learning From Our Mistakes
As I began my week, I was excited at the prospect that I was going to be tackling the second edit of book four. Book four in a lot of ways was difficult for me to write because I knew where I needed to end up but I was unsure I was going to get there. I knew how the book was supposed to end. Actually, I wrote the final chapter months before I wrote the book. I could start to see a clear path to the end of the book and then Savannah would throw me an added scene making me think I didn’t know where I was going. I mentally struggled with the book. Usually the second edit is fairly easy. This time it wouldn’t be so easy. I realized something I had missed as I began the edit. I did the one thing I told all of you not to do last week. Do not rush an edit. Guess what I did, I rushed through the edit. It took me two chapters to realize I screwed up on the first edit months ago.
So where did I go wrong? Why did I make this mistake knowing the rule? To answer that question I had to do a little thinking. It took a moment to remember that when I started the edit, I had just started my new job. I had not worked a full time job outside of my home in eleven years. I was getting up earlier than usual and I had some personal stuff happening. Those changes in my writing showed as I began this edit. I was trying to prove I could still get done everything I normally would, even though I was at work for eight hours. I wanted to kick myself as I realized how foolish I had been. Here I was sitting at my computer, reading the first two chapters, and adding four more pages to the manuscript because of my error in judgement. The frustration with myself and the editing process was hard. Normally, edit two is making small corrections. This was more like a first edit. I had to stop and think about where I went wrong.
The first place I went wrong was thinking I could edit thirty to forty pages while working a full time job. There is no way that can be done with my schedule and my kids. I was trying to prove a point that I could do this with no help. The truth is I can do this myself, I just can’t do forty pages each day. I have to learn to accept that one chapter a day is okay. It is progress and I forget that. Being able to do more than one chapter a day is great if I had more time than I actually do but I don’t. One chapter a day allows me to give each chapter the time and attention it deserves. The goal is to create a better book overall. That is the important part of editing, taking that first draft and making it better. I forgot that part in the first month of having my day job.
I guess the next question is what do I do to correct my mistake? The first step is accepting that Monday through Friday one chapter is good enough. It may not be what I want but it is acceptable. It means I am moving forward with the book, which is always the goal. The end goal is to publish each book and in order to do that you have to keep moving forward. Is it hard to change your way of thinking? Absolutely. Is it impossible? No. This past week I am learning to tell myself good job getting that chapter done today. I want to do more. I want to live in Savannah’s world all the time. I want to engross myself in it but I can’t. I get a small moment of the day to work with Savannah before I have to face the reality of my day. I would love to say I get stuff done at night but most nights I don’t. I have two kids, homework to do, dinners to make, karate to go to. I don’t have the time. The fact I’m getting anything done during the week is a win and I need to remember that.
The other part I need to correct is not just my expectations for myself and my way of thinking, I need to think of what’s best for the book. The best thing for the book is making sure I do the job as writer correctly. I need to stop thinking about what I should be able to accomplish and think about what needs to be accomplished. Again changing my way of thinking. When I had all day, to write it was easy to get forty pages edited, I had the time while my kids were in school. I don’t have that luxury now, I write and edit before I go to work. That means I have about an hour to an hour and a half to get some work done. There is no way I can do forty pages in that time. Well, I guess I could but it will not be done well. I’m a firm believer in the thought, if you are going to do something, do it well. Put forth every bit of your effort in order to do the best that you can. The first edit on book four is not my best work and I know it.
The last part of fixing my mistake is doing what I should have done the first time. I am taking my time and doing the job right. It’s frustrating that I screwed up. It’s even more frustrating that this feels more like a first edit instead of a second edit. That feeling is part of my consequences for rushing the edit that I have to accept. At this point, I am looking at this edit as my first edit. It may mean I have to do one more edit than I normally do. Okay, I will have to do an extra edit but that’s just the way it is, I accept that I have a lot more work ahead of me. The bright side is I realized my mistake now instead of during the third edit. That would have been embarrassing and unacceptable. It also means that the first edit of book five will be better because of what I have learned from my mistake. That is even better news.
So as I told you, don’t rush the edit or you will be in the same boat I am in currently. Take the time you need. Dedicate your best efforts to doing your best. Accept that you may have a few limitations because some things cannot be controlled in life. And above all else own it when you make a mistake, it’s the only way to move forward and correct yourself. Until next time!
So where did I go wrong? Why did I make this mistake knowing the rule? To answer that question I had to do a little thinking. It took a moment to remember that when I started the edit, I had just started my new job. I had not worked a full time job outside of my home in eleven years. I was getting up earlier than usual and I had some personal stuff happening. Those changes in my writing showed as I began this edit. I was trying to prove I could still get done everything I normally would, even though I was at work for eight hours. I wanted to kick myself as I realized how foolish I had been. Here I was sitting at my computer, reading the first two chapters, and adding four more pages to the manuscript because of my error in judgement. The frustration with myself and the editing process was hard. Normally, edit two is making small corrections. This was more like a first edit. I had to stop and think about where I went wrong.
The first place I went wrong was thinking I could edit thirty to forty pages while working a full time job. There is no way that can be done with my schedule and my kids. I was trying to prove a point that I could do this with no help. The truth is I can do this myself, I just can’t do forty pages each day. I have to learn to accept that one chapter a day is okay. It is progress and I forget that. Being able to do more than one chapter a day is great if I had more time than I actually do but I don’t. One chapter a day allows me to give each chapter the time and attention it deserves. The goal is to create a better book overall. That is the important part of editing, taking that first draft and making it better. I forgot that part in the first month of having my day job.
I guess the next question is what do I do to correct my mistake? The first step is accepting that Monday through Friday one chapter is good enough. It may not be what I want but it is acceptable. It means I am moving forward with the book, which is always the goal. The end goal is to publish each book and in order to do that you have to keep moving forward. Is it hard to change your way of thinking? Absolutely. Is it impossible? No. This past week I am learning to tell myself good job getting that chapter done today. I want to do more. I want to live in Savannah’s world all the time. I want to engross myself in it but I can’t. I get a small moment of the day to work with Savannah before I have to face the reality of my day. I would love to say I get stuff done at night but most nights I don’t. I have two kids, homework to do, dinners to make, karate to go to. I don’t have the time. The fact I’m getting anything done during the week is a win and I need to remember that.
The other part I need to correct is not just my expectations for myself and my way of thinking, I need to think of what’s best for the book. The best thing for the book is making sure I do the job as writer correctly. I need to stop thinking about what I should be able to accomplish and think about what needs to be accomplished. Again changing my way of thinking. When I had all day, to write it was easy to get forty pages edited, I had the time while my kids were in school. I don’t have that luxury now, I write and edit before I go to work. That means I have about an hour to an hour and a half to get some work done. There is no way I can do forty pages in that time. Well, I guess I could but it will not be done well. I’m a firm believer in the thought, if you are going to do something, do it well. Put forth every bit of your effort in order to do the best that you can. The first edit on book four is not my best work and I know it.
The last part of fixing my mistake is doing what I should have done the first time. I am taking my time and doing the job right. It’s frustrating that I screwed up. It’s even more frustrating that this feels more like a first edit instead of a second edit. That feeling is part of my consequences for rushing the edit that I have to accept. At this point, I am looking at this edit as my first edit. It may mean I have to do one more edit than I normally do. Okay, I will have to do an extra edit but that’s just the way it is, I accept that I have a lot more work ahead of me. The bright side is I realized my mistake now instead of during the third edit. That would have been embarrassing and unacceptable. It also means that the first edit of book five will be better because of what I have learned from my mistake. That is even better news.
So as I told you, don’t rush the edit or you will be in the same boat I am in currently. Take the time you need. Dedicate your best efforts to doing your best. Accept that you may have a few limitations because some things cannot be controlled in life. And above all else own it when you make a mistake, it’s the only way to move forward and correct yourself. Until next time!
January 5, 2020
Editing
For the past two weeks I have been off from my day job. It has been a wonderful break because I have gotten to live in Savannah’s world. Savannah and I have been working on book five and I am happy to say we have finished the first draft of the book. We have also wrote the first chapter of book six. I am itching to dive into book six. I want to know what happens next. I know some of the events but only a few of them. I also know I have research to do for the book. I have to find out where Savannah will be going. With that said I also know I have editing to do.
Editing is the un-fun stuff. It is the part where we have to critique what we have done. It is where we question if we have hit the mark or missed it. Each sentence must be examined for any mistakes. It is one of the toughest parts of writing. For me it is where I question if I am any good at this. This blog is going to be about editing and the work and time it takes.
For many people who are not writers they know little about the process. They think we as writers sit down and put words on paper and it all just kind of happens. In some ways that’s true. We spend hours with our characters working, fighting, and crying in order to create this magic. I honestly believe I wouldn’t be a published author if it was not for Savannah. She is the one who came to me and I am so grateful for her every day of my life. On the other hand, she can be quite difficult and there are days she nags me until I am so frustrated with her. During editing she is there but less loud. She seems to move to the background and lets me do what needs to be done. There are moments she will stand up and tell me you really screwed up that scene or hey, you forgot this piece. This is how it’s supposed to be in my opinion. There are other moments as I am editing, she throws me a scene for the next book or a scene for a book in the future. I instantly have to stop what I am doing, take notes, and find a way to write the scene as soon as possible. Those moments I believe are Savannah’s way of giving me a break from the editing. So let’s talk about the process of editing. For me I spend months editing. I have a system that works for me and I am going to share it with you. Before we dive into this you should know that I do not do these four edits back to back. I take breaks from each book in order to clear my head.
Every author does editing differently, just as they write. I go through four edits. The first one is important because its me doing it all by myself. It is a time I am forced to be completely honest with me. It is also where I do most of my adding to the book. The first edit is me reading the book out loud to myself and questioning if I have enough details. Did I make the picture for the reader clear enough? Right now I am reading book four, which will take me a couple of weeks. It will give my brain time to rest and let go of the drafting I have done on book five. Now back to what I was saying. I read the book out loud and I look at a scene as if it is new to me. Many times during this edit I will add anywhere from twenty to fifty pages of details. It’s important when you are drafting just to create. When editing, your goal is to make every scene count and ensure you have enough details so your reader can see what you are writing.
Once edit one is done I usually move to creating. I start the research and outline for the next book. I usually have the first chapter written which gives me a place to start from where the last book ended. Most times I do this because Savannah shows me where I’m supposed to go and it helps me to think about what I will be dealing with next. The second edit is all about looking for smaller mistakes. Grammar, spelling, and word usage. As an author we all have certain phrases or words we have a tendency to use. I try to look for those words and make changes. This edit takes less time than any of the other edits I put the book through. It is a lot of fine tuning.
The book usually gets to sit, waiting for the third edit for a month, sometimes more. Edit three is the edit where I turn to my editor. I can’t afford a professional editor but I have my mom. She reads obsessively and many different genres. She is brutally honest, which is what I need. It is what any author needs. She and I read the book together. We both have day jobs so we edit on days off and weekends. We read each chapter together and make changes, corrections, and sometimes adding to a scene. We spend hours on the phone looking at word usage, if the description I have written is clear, and from time to time some of this leads to arguments. There are moments she will say you should change this word to this or do this. Many times I see the reason for the change and agree, other times I don’t agree. We fight and argue and eventually one of us will give in. It is one of the most difficult edits the book goes through because it is another person telling you there is still work to be done. There are moments where you start to question how much more you can change. What the hell have I done for the past several months? Right now book three is going through this edit. I edit every weekend and on any days my mom and I have off together. It is hard work and at times feels like we are never going to finish. It is tedious work for both of us.
The last edit is like clean up. It is the edit that we do the quickest. My mom takes a week off from the book. She reads something else. We start the third edit on the next book just to cleanse the palate. She then goes back in by herself and makes notes for me. It is the edit that catches small things. Commas we may have missed, words that should be different, a tag that may need to be added, etcetera. She makes notes within the document and I go back through and make the changes that need to be made. This is the edit I am always so happy to reach, it means I am almost done and ready to publish. At this point, I am tired and just want to move on. I want the book out and to get started on the next thing. I’m itching to be done but it is just as important as the other edits.
The thing about editing is it’s a beautiful process in it’s own way. Yes it is hard on the writer but it is also necessary. No one writes a book perfect the first time around. Anyone that says they do is lying to you and themselves. The beauty part of editing is taking this piece of work and making better, clearer than it was. It is the difference between okay and great. Those edits I do for each book make that piece of work better than it was. There are moments I hate it. There are moments where I am ready to move on but I remind myself that rushing will only delay me later. It means the next edit will take longer. It means I failed to be honest with myself.
I read a quote once that said “Write without fear but edit mercilessly.” It’s true. Be honest with yourself, look at what you have done and ask can this be better. Generally speaking the answer is usually yes it can be. It doesn’t mean you failed as a writer it just means you created a starting place for yourself. I tend to look at draft one as that, a starting place. By the time I am done with all the edits, there is so much I have added that it almost seems like a different book. It’s not but it is better and that is the goal.
So don’t fear editing. Don’t rush through or sugar coat it for yourself. Be honest, be hard on yourself and keep going. Until next time!
Editing is the un-fun stuff. It is the part where we have to critique what we have done. It is where we question if we have hit the mark or missed it. Each sentence must be examined for any mistakes. It is one of the toughest parts of writing. For me it is where I question if I am any good at this. This blog is going to be about editing and the work and time it takes.
For many people who are not writers they know little about the process. They think we as writers sit down and put words on paper and it all just kind of happens. In some ways that’s true. We spend hours with our characters working, fighting, and crying in order to create this magic. I honestly believe I wouldn’t be a published author if it was not for Savannah. She is the one who came to me and I am so grateful for her every day of my life. On the other hand, she can be quite difficult and there are days she nags me until I am so frustrated with her. During editing she is there but less loud. She seems to move to the background and lets me do what needs to be done. There are moments she will stand up and tell me you really screwed up that scene or hey, you forgot this piece. This is how it’s supposed to be in my opinion. There are other moments as I am editing, she throws me a scene for the next book or a scene for a book in the future. I instantly have to stop what I am doing, take notes, and find a way to write the scene as soon as possible. Those moments I believe are Savannah’s way of giving me a break from the editing. So let’s talk about the process of editing. For me I spend months editing. I have a system that works for me and I am going to share it with you. Before we dive into this you should know that I do not do these four edits back to back. I take breaks from each book in order to clear my head.
Every author does editing differently, just as they write. I go through four edits. The first one is important because its me doing it all by myself. It is a time I am forced to be completely honest with me. It is also where I do most of my adding to the book. The first edit is me reading the book out loud to myself and questioning if I have enough details. Did I make the picture for the reader clear enough? Right now I am reading book four, which will take me a couple of weeks. It will give my brain time to rest and let go of the drafting I have done on book five. Now back to what I was saying. I read the book out loud and I look at a scene as if it is new to me. Many times during this edit I will add anywhere from twenty to fifty pages of details. It’s important when you are drafting just to create. When editing, your goal is to make every scene count and ensure you have enough details so your reader can see what you are writing.
Once edit one is done I usually move to creating. I start the research and outline for the next book. I usually have the first chapter written which gives me a place to start from where the last book ended. Most times I do this because Savannah shows me where I’m supposed to go and it helps me to think about what I will be dealing with next. The second edit is all about looking for smaller mistakes. Grammar, spelling, and word usage. As an author we all have certain phrases or words we have a tendency to use. I try to look for those words and make changes. This edit takes less time than any of the other edits I put the book through. It is a lot of fine tuning.
The book usually gets to sit, waiting for the third edit for a month, sometimes more. Edit three is the edit where I turn to my editor. I can’t afford a professional editor but I have my mom. She reads obsessively and many different genres. She is brutally honest, which is what I need. It is what any author needs. She and I read the book together. We both have day jobs so we edit on days off and weekends. We read each chapter together and make changes, corrections, and sometimes adding to a scene. We spend hours on the phone looking at word usage, if the description I have written is clear, and from time to time some of this leads to arguments. There are moments she will say you should change this word to this or do this. Many times I see the reason for the change and agree, other times I don’t agree. We fight and argue and eventually one of us will give in. It is one of the most difficult edits the book goes through because it is another person telling you there is still work to be done. There are moments where you start to question how much more you can change. What the hell have I done for the past several months? Right now book three is going through this edit. I edit every weekend and on any days my mom and I have off together. It is hard work and at times feels like we are never going to finish. It is tedious work for both of us.
The last edit is like clean up. It is the edit that we do the quickest. My mom takes a week off from the book. She reads something else. We start the third edit on the next book just to cleanse the palate. She then goes back in by herself and makes notes for me. It is the edit that catches small things. Commas we may have missed, words that should be different, a tag that may need to be added, etcetera. She makes notes within the document and I go back through and make the changes that need to be made. This is the edit I am always so happy to reach, it means I am almost done and ready to publish. At this point, I am tired and just want to move on. I want the book out and to get started on the next thing. I’m itching to be done but it is just as important as the other edits.
The thing about editing is it’s a beautiful process in it’s own way. Yes it is hard on the writer but it is also necessary. No one writes a book perfect the first time around. Anyone that says they do is lying to you and themselves. The beauty part of editing is taking this piece of work and making better, clearer than it was. It is the difference between okay and great. Those edits I do for each book make that piece of work better than it was. There are moments I hate it. There are moments where I am ready to move on but I remind myself that rushing will only delay me later. It means the next edit will take longer. It means I failed to be honest with myself.
I read a quote once that said “Write without fear but edit mercilessly.” It’s true. Be honest with yourself, look at what you have done and ask can this be better. Generally speaking the answer is usually yes it can be. It doesn’t mean you failed as a writer it just means you created a starting place for yourself. I tend to look at draft one as that, a starting place. By the time I am done with all the edits, there is so much I have added that it almost seems like a different book. It’s not but it is better and that is the goal.
So don’t fear editing. Don’t rush through or sugar coat it for yourself. Be honest, be hard on yourself and keep going. Until next time!
December 29, 2019
The End Of The Year
We only have a few days left of 2019. It is crazy to think 2019 is coming to an end. This year a way has been a roller coaster of change for me. I have many ups and downs and transformations. Some of it due to circumstances, some due to me being fed up with the status quo. This blog post is going to be a little about all the ups, downs and changes I have experienced in 2019.
I started this year with the thought and goal of publishing one book, Bad Witch Walking. I had worked for the last year and a half on the book and the thought of releasing it to the world was terrifying. I took my author photo reluctantly. I set into motion buying my first cover and creating this world. Little did I know what it would mean to my world. Meeting Savannah was the best thing that could have happened to me. She gave me a swift kick in the ass, which as we all know, she does to everyone. This fictional character made me see what I had spent my life doing was not enough. I have spent most of my adult life taking care of everyone but me. I was seriously overweight, had some health issues, and was not happy with me. During the entire first half of 2019, I was focused on getting Savannah’s debut ready and I was also going through a personal transformation. I began to work out daily. I watched less T.V. and I spent more time with Savannah. I was able to finish Bad Karma and write Bad Origins. I am currently editing Bad Origins. I began to take time to read as many books as I could. I began to teach both of my kids to be more self reliant as well. They needed the independence just as much as I did. All of these changes have led to me losing a total of thirty-three inches and living a healthier life-style all around.
I also went back to having a nine to five job which was an even bigger change for me. I no longer get to just play in Savannah’s world, which can be frustrating for me, but it also created more determination in myself. It made me more dedicated to this dream of being a writer. I have to work ten times harder and get up at the butt crack of dawn but I still make sure I put in as much time as I can. I even returned to one of the things I loved when I was younger, karate. As a kid I loved doing karate until I broke my arm and quit. As an adult it is harder to learn all of the katas, blocks, and so many other things. I think I was more graceful as a kid than I am now as an adult. The thing is I am finding the joy in it again, even if I have to work twice as hard to get it. I practice on my own twice a week plus my private lesson I have once a week. I’m not quite comfortable enough with my skills to join the group classes. I will get there eventually. I am starting to see I need to make it a goal to start attending them soon.
With this transformation of my inner self, I am also meeting new people and making new friends. When I started this year I had one friend, in the area I live in, who I have known for twenty years and no one else. Now I can say I have at least four other friends here in Colorado and a number around the globe. I have met such amazing people through this journey this past year that I am so grateful for all of them. It was all because of Savannah. Deciding to write again and following through with it was the biggest win I could have given myself. It has changed me for the better or at least I believe it has. I have never been a very confident individual. In fact, I tended to believe that I was meant for nothing more than being a wife and a mother. The truth is we decide what we are capable of. We can find all of the excuses in the world not to do something. We can tell ourselves and others that we can’t do something because of time or money or skill. None of that is true. You can learn and grow and change what you do not like. You can chase your dreams if you choose to. I’m not saying it’s been an easy journey, it hasn’t been. There have been sleepless nights, tears, and questioning of myself and my sanity. I have wondered if I have fooled myself into thinking the changes I have made in my life have been worth the sacrifice, they have been because I am a happier person. I like me better. I see being a writer is who I have always been and nothing will change that. I will continue to push myself to create more for Savannah and myself.
The scary part is, I see more changes to my life on the horizon. I don’t know when they will hit or what will all come from those changes but I know they are on the way. When they do I will meet them head on and continue to do what I am doing for me.
With the new year coming take that leap of faith for yourself. Learn something new, find what makes you happy. Think about what you want in your life. Don’t make excuses just do it. Take that leap and become who you need to be. Until next time!
I started this year with the thought and goal of publishing one book, Bad Witch Walking. I had worked for the last year and a half on the book and the thought of releasing it to the world was terrifying. I took my author photo reluctantly. I set into motion buying my first cover and creating this world. Little did I know what it would mean to my world. Meeting Savannah was the best thing that could have happened to me. She gave me a swift kick in the ass, which as we all know, she does to everyone. This fictional character made me see what I had spent my life doing was not enough. I have spent most of my adult life taking care of everyone but me. I was seriously overweight, had some health issues, and was not happy with me. During the entire first half of 2019, I was focused on getting Savannah’s debut ready and I was also going through a personal transformation. I began to work out daily. I watched less T.V. and I spent more time with Savannah. I was able to finish Bad Karma and write Bad Origins. I am currently editing Bad Origins. I began to take time to read as many books as I could. I began to teach both of my kids to be more self reliant as well. They needed the independence just as much as I did. All of these changes have led to me losing a total of thirty-three inches and living a healthier life-style all around.
I also went back to having a nine to five job which was an even bigger change for me. I no longer get to just play in Savannah’s world, which can be frustrating for me, but it also created more determination in myself. It made me more dedicated to this dream of being a writer. I have to work ten times harder and get up at the butt crack of dawn but I still make sure I put in as much time as I can. I even returned to one of the things I loved when I was younger, karate. As a kid I loved doing karate until I broke my arm and quit. As an adult it is harder to learn all of the katas, blocks, and so many other things. I think I was more graceful as a kid than I am now as an adult. The thing is I am finding the joy in it again, even if I have to work twice as hard to get it. I practice on my own twice a week plus my private lesson I have once a week. I’m not quite comfortable enough with my skills to join the group classes. I will get there eventually. I am starting to see I need to make it a goal to start attending them soon.
With this transformation of my inner self, I am also meeting new people and making new friends. When I started this year I had one friend, in the area I live in, who I have known for twenty years and no one else. Now I can say I have at least four other friends here in Colorado and a number around the globe. I have met such amazing people through this journey this past year that I am so grateful for all of them. It was all because of Savannah. Deciding to write again and following through with it was the biggest win I could have given myself. It has changed me for the better or at least I believe it has. I have never been a very confident individual. In fact, I tended to believe that I was meant for nothing more than being a wife and a mother. The truth is we decide what we are capable of. We can find all of the excuses in the world not to do something. We can tell ourselves and others that we can’t do something because of time or money or skill. None of that is true. You can learn and grow and change what you do not like. You can chase your dreams if you choose to. I’m not saying it’s been an easy journey, it hasn’t been. There have been sleepless nights, tears, and questioning of myself and my sanity. I have wondered if I have fooled myself into thinking the changes I have made in my life have been worth the sacrifice, they have been because I am a happier person. I like me better. I see being a writer is who I have always been and nothing will change that. I will continue to push myself to create more for Savannah and myself.
The scary part is, I see more changes to my life on the horizon. I don’t know when they will hit or what will all come from those changes but I know they are on the way. When they do I will meet them head on and continue to do what I am doing for me.
With the new year coming take that leap of faith for yourself. Learn something new, find what makes you happy. Think about what you want in your life. Don’t make excuses just do it. Take that leap and become who you need to be. Until next time!
