Rachael Dickzen's Blog, page 11

Cats, as Explained in Memes: Why Cats are Liquid and Have Nine Lives

I gave this talk at my recent lecture salon birthday party! : )

Why cats are actually liquids

The definition of a liquid is "a material that adapts its shape to fit a container." Although we commonly think of liquids as items like coffee and beer, all observations seem to indicate that cats are also liquid. But how do they fit into spaces that they're larger than? How do cats seem to compress into whatever shape? 

There are a few anatomical and physical reasons. 

First, cats are super flexible. A cat’s front legs are attached to their shoulder via a very small, free floating clavicle (collarbone) by only muscles, not bones. This allows them to fit their bodies into tiny spaces, because their neck and shoulders can literally be squeezed to spaces tinier than you'd imagine and can be compressed through a hole or a tunnel. Cats are designed to want to hide in small spaces for safety and hunting reasons; then, when they spot their prey, they immediately race to catch them.

Cats also have very elastic spines, which contain more bones than human’s. Where humans only have 32-34 vertebrae, cats have 52-53. Although the majority of these vertebrae are in the tail, there are extra ones in the lumbar (between the hip bones and pelvis) and thoracic regions (between the cervical, or neck vertebrae, and the lumbar vertebrae) which also allow for more movement. They can rotate their spines more than most other animals can and the disks in between their vertebrae have a flexible, elastic cushioning. 

Their flexibility and extra spiny spines allow them to reach and groom every part of their body. This is actually a survival technique, as they need to groom every part of their body to remove their scent, as that could give them away to other animals (predators or prey). Thus, there's an actual reason your cat is capable of licking its own butt.

Their flexible spines allows cats to contract and extend their backs in order to run faster, up to 30 miles per hour (but they’re sprinters, not marathoners). They can stride at three times their body length or more. (they can also jump up to nine times their height from a sitting position). Cats’ paws can turn in and out, which helps them climb, balance, and pivot. Cats walk and run on their toes (this characteristic is called “digitigrade”); this helps them run quickly and allows them to move silently. Their claws also help them run very quickly, acting like spikes to give them traction. 

Cats are also known to be quiet and watchful. This again, ties into their natural abilities and need to hide in small spaces and then run very quickly and quietly to capture their prey. This is part of the cat habit often called “If I fits, I sits.”

It's also said that cats have nine lives and "always land on their feet." This refers to their "righting reflex," or ability to often survive falls from a great height, which derives from a number of unique evolutionary advantages. 

In a 1987 study of 132 cats brought to a New York City emergency veterinary clinic after falls from high-rise buildings, 90% of treated cats survived and only 37% needed emergency treatment to keep them alive. One that fell 32 stories onto concrete suffered only a chipped tooth and a collapsed lung and was released after 48 hours.

First, cats can rotate their bodies 180 degrees to the right or the left. Humans can only rotate our hips around 90 degrees to the right or left. They also have the ability to turn their head and front legs in one direction and their hips and back legs in another direction. This allows them to turn and change direction very quickly, including while they're falling. This rotational flexibility allows them to quickly re-align their bodies and land safely. 

Their tail in particular helps with this, as acts as a counter-balance that helps them adjust their weight around. The way they move as they fall also more evenly distributes impact throughout their body instead of on any one particular part. 

Fun fact: The maximum speed of a falling cat, or its terminal velocity (the constant speed that a freely falling object eventually reaches when the resistance of the medium through which it is falling prevents further acceleration.) , will always be 60 mph, vs an average sized man’s terminal velocity is about 120 mph. Their small size, light bone structure, and thick fur decreases their terminal velocity. They also create wind resistance by spreading themselves out like a parachute, slowing down their speed. 

Their actual instinct to right themselves comes from their inner ear, which acts as a compass so they always know when they’re right side up. Kittens have this righting reflex as early as 3-4 weeks (which is pretty amazing, considering kittens are born blind and without the ability to pee or defecate on their own, so they're...pretty damn helpless about everything for a while).

Cats' muscles and bones in their legs help them land in a way that decreases their chances of being hurt. Their long, muscley legs that divert energy into decelerating when they land rather than breaking bones. Their flexible, springy legs, increase the distances over which the force of the collision with the ground dissipates and increase the collision time over a longer period, reducing the overall impact force. Their bendy joints and the positioning of their legs, which are angled under their body, rather than extending downward (like a human or a horse's legs), allow their legs to bend instead of breaking.

Alas, they’re not invincible – about 90% of cats falling from tall buildings survive, but most sustain serious injuries. Cats that fall from 7-32 stories may be less likely to die than those that fall from 2-6 stories, but it's hard to tell, as studies indicate different results and these results may derive from survivorship bias, in that instantly fatal falls would not be taken to a vet.

All these abilities probably were evolutionary adaptations resulting from their need to be able to survive if they fall out of trees, where cats hang out A LOT in the wild, for safety and hunting reasons.

One of my favorite memes relating to this is the "the buttered cat paradox" - cats always land on their feet, buttered toast always lands buttered side down, If one attached a piece of buttered toast (butter side up) to the back of a cat, the experiment will produce an anti-gravity effect. This buttered cat can thus be used to produce energy.

I hope y’all enjoyed my silly cat post. :)

Throwing a Lecture Salon Party (with Aluminum Chef Cooking Competition!)

 I just turned 32 on January 11! I actually really love hosting parties and having people over in my home, but I've found in the past that these things often work better with a theme and a plan, rather than just a general "come over to my house and we'll do whatever" invite.

So this year, I decided to throw a salon party and Aluminum Chef competition! John and I were very pleased with how it all turned out and agree that this was our best party yet; we're thinking of making it an annual tradition! Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves and even my quieter friends came out of their shell a lot when they were talking about topics they care about!

1. Salon Party

This isn't a salon party as in, do your hair or makeup, but more of a lecture salon where people discuss different ideas and topics. Historically, salons were pretty popular, but they haven't been as big in the past century or so. The word "Salon" derives from the Italian word salone, which refers to sala, a large reception hall found in Italian mansions). These gatherings first started in Italy in the 16th century and were super big in France in the 17th and 18th century. Plenty of great minds of the past were involved in regular salon nights in their friend groups; Gertrude Stein's Saturday evening salons were very popular and drew people like Pablo Picasso, F. Scott Fitzegerald, Ernest Hemingway, Sinclair Lewis, and Henri Matisse (one of these salons was depicted in Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, which is an excellent movie made by a horrible human being [I still feel guilty about watching it, but I realllyyyy was curious about the topic and ended up really loving it. I also think it's important to be able to distinguish great art and beautiful creations from the actual quality of a person's character, as society's inability to believe that people who do terrible things can also create great art has resulted in seriously fucked up victim blaming in the past. So there's that. But also, fuck Woody Allen. Questions about why I say that? Read this.). 

Salons have been organized in different ways throughout history, and it is really interesting to read about all of them, but I decided I needed to have a more structured set up for my party.

- First, I set up a facebook event for my party and sent out invitations over a month in advance, so people would have a chance to think over what they wanted to do for it and prepare. I set up a google spreadsheet for sign-ups and just monitored it regularly to gauge interest (I love google drive and its system of document and spreadsheet tools so much. I used them extensively for planning my wedding and even wrote about my use of it as a layout tool here).

I originally said that people would have 9-10 minutes to speak on any topic they wanted, but after like 12 people signed up, ended up shortening that time to 5-6 minutes. At the actual party, I wasn't too strict about this and people's talks generally went about 10 minutes, which was perfect (I was afraid that if I said they could do 10 minutes, people would end up with like 15-20 minutes of content, which would be difficult time-wise). 

Because I invited more people than Husband John wanted me to (he is /much/ more introverted than I am), I let him talk for pretty much as long as he wanted about different types of beer (although I did lovingly heckle him and encouraged him to move quickly). He recruited one of my friends to be his "Beer Czar," and Tony poured out beer samples for anyone who was interested (we handed out plastic shotglasses for this). John ended up going about 40 minutes. 

I was very pleased by how all the timing worked out! The party started at 6 but we didn't end up starting the talks until 6:50, when more people had arrived. John talked about 40 minutes, and then speaker went for around 10 minutes each, with very little time in between talks, just to keep things moving. We ended up having 13 people total talk and finished up the talks before 10 pm. At that point, we then broke for board games and card games and such. 

For administrative ease, speakers went in the order they signed up in, but I made sure to check whether anyone was on a time crunch and needed to go earlier than their original slot. We had such a wonderful variety of topics, from The Booth Brothers (of John Wilkes Booth' infamy), what it's like to be an identical twin, a comparison of the different Biblical gospels and their possible sources, Shakespeare-contemporary playwright Ben Jonson, Golems, a Swedish Christmas tradition involving a giant straw goat which is generally burned down every year, how the Appalachian mountains affected history, why Rotten Tomatoes is dumb, basic self defense moves, and the russian second fleet expedition! I myself spoke about the anatomical aspects of cats that make them totally memeable (I'll post this up as a separate blog post soon - I also think it would make a really wonderful youtube video. I've wanted to get into making videos of some of my blog content for a while and just haven't had a change to sit down and figure it out yet!). 

We had some great audience interaction! Gentle friendly heckling and trolling, questions, etc. Generally, that interaction seemed to add to the presentations rather than take away from them. John got a little irritated by all the non-beer drinkers talking during his presentation, so at that point, I just strongly encouraged them to go hang out in the basement and chat there instead; that helped a lot! 

Administrative aspects: 

- Visual aids - I originally didn't want anyone to try to use a powerpoint presentation because I've been through too many meetings or classes where technology failed us, but friends coaxed me into it. My friend Sarah brought her laptop, hooked it up to our TV with an [hdmi?] cable, and then we had people email their powerpoint presentations to her. This actually worked really well, without any problems! And even people who didn't end up using slideshows benefited from it, as Sarah was able to pull up maps to use as illustrations and such. One speaker also brought some handouts comparing the different gospels he was talking about, which was cool!

- Signs - I'm kind of a nut for signs and put them and various post it notes all around the house, explaining where the talks where taking place and how it was going to work. I also posted the signup sheet so we could refer to it to see who was going next.

- Seating - I moved in chairs and stools from around the house and positioned them in a semi circle facing the TV/speaker. I also had chairs positioned further away, around the kitchen table, so people could listen but be a little away from the crowd if they wanted. This room is also conveniently situated near a staircase, where people could sit if needed. Several people did end up standing, but it always seemed like they had the option of sitting if they so chose.

- Places to escape - Because of my own ADHD and depression issues, I really try to be aware of people's mental/emotional need to escape somewhere quieter at a party. We had both our basement and our upstairs landing set up with chairs, board games, and blankets for anyone who wanted to use them. I'm not certain how much our upstairs setup was used, but at least our set up of it means it got cleaned up!

2. Aluminum Chef contest! (I failed at taking pictures of any of the food or most of the Aluminum Chef set up, besides the signs and sign-up sheet, alas. This is also the only photo I got of the magnificent sparkly spoons I handed out as awards, while I was spray-painting them)

The party also included a cooking contest! I specifically called it Aluminum Chef as an ironic reference to "Iron Chef" (because we're amateurs and just having fun). I looked through the wikipedia article about Iron Chef, made a list of all the secret ingredients that have been used in the shows, and then John and I, taking our friends' allergies and food sensitivites into account, chose the ingredient which had to be present in every dish in the competition - Citrus Fruit! 

Participants could enter in three categories: appetizers, entrees, or desserts (both John and I made dishes, but we decided beforehand that we couldn't win). I set up a sign up sheet on Google Drive for participants, but also allowed people to bring something to the party even if they didn't sign up. At the party itself, I used physical signup sheets for each category that assigned each dish a number and asked people to tape a label (which I'd already made) to each of their dishes to help with voting. I made voting ballots and throughout the night, encouraged people to try all the dishes and vote. At the very end of the night, during the last lecture, I tallied up all these votes and gave an award in each category! The awards were sparkly blue painted wooden spoons.*

We have a pretty tiny kitchen, so I specified that people really needed to make their dishes at home and bring them along (I allowed one friend to finish up their chicken in the oven and another to heat up their soup on the stovetop, but I didn't mind those minor situations; I just didn't want 10 people trying to cook in our shoebox sized kitchen at once). We also set up a big table downstairs for "overflow" food that didn't fit in the kitchen or on our dining room table; I specified that this food needed to not have any cat attracting meat or liquid milk in it; anything with that in it, really needed to stay near the big group of people in the kitchen so we could guard it.**

- Signs - I'm kind of a nut for signs and put them and various post it notes all around the house, pointing to where everything was. Because of our tiny kitchen size, I often have to get a little creative with storage for parties; the plates, silverware, and napkins lived on our microwave and the cups were situated on john's speaker system. I placed several big soda bottles in the fridge, along with a big water filter dispenser, and had seltzer cans in boxes down the hallway [all of these items had signs or post it notes]. 

I also used this occasion as an opportunity to pull out our beer coaster collection, and positioned those around the main room for peoples use and amusement (since we had some beer nerds in attendance, they seemed to be accepted well). 

I set up a little hot drink station for anyone who wanted some hot cocoa or tea, but no one seemed interested. It was super easy to put together though, and I will totally do it again in the future. I literally just put out a variety of tea bags and a container of hot cocoa mix next to the hot water kettle, along with a mug full of spoons, a bag of marshmallows, and a sign pointing to where the mugs live din our cabinet. 

As I've mentioned before, I really am trying to reduce my environmental impact, so even though I used disposable products for this party, I specifically bought compostable plates and napkins made from recycled paper. Our cleanup from this party wasn't actually too bad, all things considered! We filled up a few bags of recycling and trash, but it was pretty good overall.

And that’s how I put it all together! If you end up planning your own salon party or aluminum chef contest, please let me know! I’d love to hear about it all.

*which were a headache and a half to make just due to Amazon delivery shenanigans [my order was completely lost and they didn't bother to tell me that until like, saturday morning, so I had to go to Target and buy spoons that were much more expensive than I planned to use, but like, I was determined to make this sparkly spoon award thing happen. I bought three cans of blue glitter spray paint on clearance ages ago. Unfortunately, two out of three cans could not be encouraged to spray or work AT ALL, even with copious amounts of mineral spirits. So I had to finish up my spoon painting with a blue glitter marker I fortunately happened to have around (I used a red sparkly marker from this same set to fill in flaked off paint on my flower girls' baskets for my wedding, so these sparkly markers were clearly a good impulse purchase). 

**The cats themselves were very wonderful during the party and seemed very happy to get lots of pets and adoration from my friends. They didn't try to eat any food, my good boys!

Quick and Short Six the Musical Costume Update (AUSTRALIA)

The Australia version of Six the Musical debuted! And just looking through the pictures of the cast, I could see that the Anne of Cleves costume and the Katherine Howard costume have been updated.

Cleves: The sleeves look like they're cut differently now; the sleeves of the Australian version stick out at more of an upward angle than the West End costume's sleeves. 

The stripes on the top are positioned differently as well. In the original West End version, the silver beading is positioned close to the bottom of the black fur stripes, while the Australian version has silver beading at the top and bottom of the red stripes It also looks like the red in the Australian costume stripes have some sort of pattern on them, regularly spaced out dots. It's not quite clear in the photos whether these dots are beads, cloth, leather imprint, or what have you, but it's definitely there. 

The original Cleves collar is significantly higher than the Australian version. 

The Cleves shorts still have chains, but they're much more complicated than they used to be. There's now a peplum detail along the top of the shorts under the red stripe/silver beading and red and black stripes are laid out in a chevron pattern on both sides of the shorts. 

The Australia Cleves costume most resembles the teal costume shorts (Cleves variation) worn by Cherelle Jay of the West End cast, but her shorts appear to just have diagonal stripes on the side rather than chevrons.

Howard: It looks like the same black striped mesh fabric is in use all over both the West End and the Australia outfits, but the pink fabric has changed up a bit. In addition to the original sheer pink fabric used on the skirt, there's now a slightly less sheer pink fabric with black hatching on it; the skirt's panels alter between sheer and sheer with hatching and there's now a bottom border of the sheer with hatching fabric. There's also more silver beading throughout the skirt. This fabric with hatching is also incorporated into the alternating style panels on the bodice and on the bodice's top sleeves. It also looks like the hatching fabric may be used on the back of the bodice as well. 

The Howard changes look like they incorporate a lot of the styles found in the opalescent pink alternate costume skirt currently worn by Zara MacIntosh in the west end cast, the black alternate costume skirt worn by Colette Guitart in the West End Cast (which has more of the sheer alternating fabric panels look), and the teal alternate costume skirt worn by Jennifer Caldwell on the UK Tour. The Australia Howard skirt also appears to be more structured and sticks out further, which may be due to the hatched fabric's stiffness and/or the different cuts of the fabrics used on the skirt. It may also be slightly shorter than the West End version; it's hard to tell.

Disney+ Marathon: Revisiting Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

 So for my blog, I’m doing a Disney+ movie marathon through all the animated feature length films I haven’t seen in 20+ years/have never seen! I’m starting off with the first animated full length cartoon feature in the United States, Snow White!

Setting: The original Snow White story is a 19th-century German fairy tale. It was featured in Grimms’ Fairy Tales in 1812. The time period isn’t explicitly stated anywhere that I can find, but since the Queen’s clothes are based off of a preserved Medieval statue of the German noble Uta von Ballenstedt (c. 1000 -1046), it seems to be set in medieval Germany somewhere.
The Disney version, of course, is a very simplified version that removes a lot of the original elements of the story, namely, any sort of backstory. The fairy tale also featured the Queen trying to kill Snow White three times rather than just with the apple shown in this film.

Why is Snow White in a peasant outfit at the beginning? The only explanation given is in the little story book page at the beginning that says “Her vain and wicked Stepmother the Queen feared that some day Snow White’s beauty would surpass her own. So she dressed the little Princess in rags and forced her to work as a Scullery Maid.”
What happened to Snow White’s father or original mother? No one knows; we’re certainly not told.

Clearly Snow White is some kind of witch who can get Woodland creatures to somehow all get along follow her and do her bidding, namely, unpaid household labor. I need her skills. Can she teach cats? Actually, she may be a vampire given the whole skin as white as snow and lips as red as blood thing.
ALTHOUGH, the origin of her name isn’t explained whatsoever in this movie version, so perhaps that isn’t canon for Disney film? The original story has Snow White’s mother wishing for a child with “skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as night,” after pricking her finger with a needle and seeing her blood drip onto freshly fallen snow on a black windowsill.

Are the trees in the forest actually evil and do they have faces or are they just representations of snow white’s fears?

The dwarves definitely say Jiminy crickets before Pinocchio The movie came out. What on earth did it mean before then? Was it a reference to the book?
I later looked this up and discovered that “Jiminy” is an exclamation of surprise dating back to 1803, which may be a disguised oath referring to Jesu Domine, or Jesus Lord. “Jiminy cricket” was used starting in 1848; the “JC” initials also refer to Jesus Christ. The Adventures of Pinocchio wasn’t published until 1883 and featured a character named the Talking Cricket, but he didn’t get the name Jiminy Cricket until the 1940 Disney movie came out.

Interesting fact: This movie’s title uses the more common at the time “Dwarfs” instead of the “Dwarves” plural form popularized by Tolkien later.

We never see snow white with her stepmother the queen. Do we ever see any women talking to each other? I guess the witch (the evil queen in disguise) talks to snow white. But I can’t think of anyone else. It just barely passes the Bechdel test (they talk a little bit about Snow White wanting to marry the prince, but they also talked about dreams more generally), but it’s hardly progressive.,
For that matter, we never hear about Snow White’s father, his relationship with the Queen, or Snow White’s relationship with the Queen at all. There’s really no backstory given.

They kept the plot very very simple. There are no complex characters, no outside friendships, and no motivations outside basic survival? Snow White is nice to animals but that’s basically all we know about her. Except that she likes to sing and appreciate a clean house.

The entire dwarves sneaking into the house to figure out who’s in there segment is like a tribute to slapstick comedy.

What were the dwarves’ names before they were old enough to have personalities and/or noticeable health issues (sneezy- hat fever, sleepy- narcolepsy). It appears that dopey is maybe intended to have some sort of mental delay but it’s passed off as “he’s never tried to talk.” Not sure such a character would fly in today’s society.

“Oh good, you talk.” Jesus, Snow White, they’re short men, not mute animals.

I had completely forgotten about the whole Snow White having to harass them to wash their hands and faces because they haven’t done that in weeks bit. Mildly appalled. This reminds me of the cruise we went on where they played an entire video about how you definitely need to wash your hands every time you go to the bathroom.

It’s a total myth that people in medieval times didn’t wash or keep themselves clean, by the way; I’ll explain this more later but even if they didn’t take full baths all that often they did wash their hands and faces daily.

"A Pedslar's disguise" what a convenient spell she just happens to have there. Is that a commonly used spell? What does she use it for? Shopping in disguise in the kingdom?

It's nice that everyone in this kingdom knows everyone else. You wouldn't expect a Queen to know who the dwarfs are (it makes sense that the dwarfs know who Snow White is though).

"A thunder bolt to mix it well" - wait. What? Doesn't she mean lightning? There's lightning when she says that about her potion. Plus, can sound even mix a potion? It has to be lightning right? She says "look my hands, my voice" as if she's surprised by the results of the potion she just gave herself.I have a feeling that this plan wasn't totally formulated or thought through very well, as she doesn't think about the poison apple part.

John made a valid point when I talked to about - why are they making spells that can be broken easily? Can you just not make a spell permanent?

-I somehow only figured out that Snow White is set in Germany a few years ago and listening to this Silly Song tune with all the yodellling and the super German organ, I just really don't know how I hadn't ever figured that out. Did we see that organ at all when Snow White and the bewitched woodland creatures were cleaning the house? Also - what kind of organ can you play with your butt like that? Why does Grumpy have such a flexible butt? What sort of exercises do you do in order to be able to move one butt cheek at a time? Is that a thing people can do? I'm pretty sure i can't.

Gooseberry pie? Is that a thing? What is that? Is it German?
Later: YES, it’s a thing. Gooseberries are berries with tart skin and sweet flesh. Gooseberry pie adds in sugar to balance out the tartness. However, it appears that their presence in this film is anachronistic; the 1879 Encyclopaedia Britannica said, “Although gooseberries are now abundant in Germany and France, it does not appear to have been much grown there in the Middle Ages, though the wild fruit was held in some esteem medicinally for the cooling properties of its acid juice in fevers.”

Good lord, Snow White is an idiot, isn’t she? The dwarfs specifically tell her that the queen is dangerous and a master of disguise and the animals straight up attack the witch to protect her and she lets her in and eats the damn apple anyway, the dumb girl. I know she's supposed to only be 14 in this movie but....COME ON. 

I’m not really going to get into costume analysis much for most of these movies, but suffice it to say that these movies generally reflected the time in which they were made. It’s not a coincidence that Snow White’s hairstyle and face look distinctly Betty Boop-ish. Many other people have done great work discussing the historical influences of the costumes; I highly suggest the great work done over at Frock Flicks!

Walt Disney may have been a visionary, but he was a total asshole in some ways. He held the 19-year-old actress Adriana Caselotti, who provided the voice of Snow White, to an extremely strict contract which basically kept her from singing professionally for the rest of her life (she had extremely small parts in Wizard of Oz and It’s a Wonderful Life). She wasn’t credited as the voice, she was only paid $970 for her work on the film (equivalent to about $16,905 in 2018), and Disney refused to let her work on radio shows.

This movie is really gorgeous and I understand why so many people consider it a classic, but the characters and plot are paper thin and I don’t personally feel it holds up very well when I watch it as an adult. It’s very important for its role in movie history as the first full-length cel animated feature film and the earliest Disney animated feature film, but it’s not something I plan to rewatch much.
THAT BEING SAID, I adore Snow White’s costume and aesthetic and Disneybound as her more often than any other character. :D

Overanalyzing The Crown: S3E10 "Cri de Coeur"

Princess Margaret’s marriage to Tony Armstrong Jones (Lord Snowdon) has fallen apart, as he’s having an open affair with a younger woman who Margaret merely calls “The Thing” (but in reality, is named Lucy Lindsay-Hogg). Margaret is miserable and depressed, and ends up taking a younger lover (Roddy Llewellyn) to cheer herself up. Simultaneously, Queen Elizabeth prepares for her Silver Jubilee, celebrating her 25th year on the throne.

Antony Armstrong and Lucy Lindsay-Hogg in real life

Roddy Llewellyn and Princess Margaret in real life

Harry Treadaway as Roddy Llewellyn and Helena Bonham Carter as Princess Margaret in The Crown

The name of this episode comes from a heartless comment the Queen Mother makes about Margaret’s suicide attempt, calling it more of a “cri de coeur, instead of a coup de grace.” A cri de coeur is “a passionate appeal, complaint, or protest.” A coup de grace is a final blow or shot given to kill a wounded person or animal.

The episode starts with Elizabeth visiting Margaret at her home, in the aftermath of one of the couple’s fights. Broken glass lies everywhere. Margaret says it’s just part of who they are though; “War is our love. A brutal fight to the death is our mating dance.” She even makes excuses for Tony’s affair: “He can’t help himself, my priapic little snapper.”

Poor Margaret. She looks absolutely fabulous at her birthday party, with lovely 60s hair, even though her husband is conspicuously absent and off with his lover. When she states this to her family and asks them to take her side “and impose sanctions” on Tony, they’re assholes who take his side. ON HER BIRTHDAY. I understand Prince Philip’s point; Margaret can certainly be a difficult person, but surely she doesn’t deserve this level of disrespect.
I know Margaret and Tony have kids. We’ve seen them briefly in S3E7, Moondust, at the rocket launch party at the palace. Where are they during this episode? Do we ever see them? Margaret carelessly tells Elizabeth that the nanny has them but otherwise doesn’t really refer to them (to be fair, neither does Tony, except when he explains his anger over the photos of Margaret and Roddy by saying “she’s the mother of my children”). I’ve watched it multiple times and haven’t noticed them anywhere.

Margaret packs up her things for her getaway in a suitcase that looks very old and worn, possibly in a reference to how she herself feels. On her trip out, she wears an acid green shirt and skirt with brown fur coat. She wore green and brown a fair amount in both “Margaretology” and “Aberfan” as well (S3E2 and S3E2), when her marriage was rocky, but still holding together, with some good times.
The Queen and the Queen Mother also both wear a fair amount of green in this episode, possibly in reference to this being a Margaret-centric episode.

Jesus Christ, Tony left her a “love note” in a book that says “you look like a pantomime piece of shit.” What a horrible person. Does her family really not see this side of him ever?
It broke my heart to see Margaret arrive at her friend’s house sleeping in the back of the car, presumably too mentally and emotionally exhausted to deal with anything right now (and possibly a little drunk already). Her friend ushers everyone back into the house rather than wake her; I guess there isn’t really a better way to handle that situation.
This friend, by the way, apparently is Anne Tennant, Lady Glenconner, who was very close to Margaret in real life and actually wrote a memoir about her that came out this year called “Lady in Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown.” I need to buy that! Anne was a maid of honor at Elizabeth II’s coronation and an Extra Lady-in-Waiting to Margaret. This show is good enough at details that it’s possible she’s been shown throughout the three seasons without me noticing; I’ll have to go check at some point.

Roddy Llewellyn in real life

Harry Treadaway as Roddy Llewellyn and Helena Bonham Carter as Princess Margaret on the Crown

Harry Treadaway as Roddy Llewellyn and Helena Bonham Carter as Princess Margaret on the Crown

The swimsuit Margaret picks up for Roddy when they’re out shopping looks very similar to one he wore in real life (see comparison photos), although it’s hard to tell how close they are, when the photo is in black and white.
After Roddy shows up, Margaret actually starts smiling and laughing and looking happy again. While she’s playing the piano and singing with Roddy, she looks fucking amazing. We’ve never seen season 3 Margaret look this happy.
Also - Margaret has sung a SHIT ton in this season, taking advantage of Helena Bonham Carter’s lovely voice. I think she only sung once in the first season (a Christmas carol with her father, I believe, in S1E2), and never in the second season. Bonham Carter is also clearly having the time of her life in this role; I read in an interview that she was surprised to get the role, since her predecessor as Margaret , Vanessa Kirby (5’7”), was several inches taller than Helena (5’2”). The real life Princess Margaret was 5’1”, so Bonham Carter is much close in height. I guess this show cares far more about good acting than they do about making the actors look exactly like their predecessors or their historical counterparts (see also, Derek Jacobi taking over as the Duke of Windsor, even though at 5’8”, he was considerably shorter than his predecessor Alex Jennings, who was 6’2”).

Antony Armstrong Jones on The Crown

Olivia Colman as Queen Elizabeth on The Crown

A real souvenir teapot made for the Queen’s silver jubilee.

I made an audible gasp when Tony pulled out old pictures of the royal family for the Queen and we see Claire Foy and Matt Smith in the photos again. It’s the first time we’ve seen any depiction of either of those actors since the S3E1 intro of Olivia Colman with the coinage changeover. It inspired a surprising amount of nostalgia in me.
Tony did design a few things for the Royal Family over the years, most notably, the stage and setup at Charles’ investiture as Prince of Wales, but I couldn’t find any evidence that he designed any Silver Jubilee memorabilia, as he and Margaret were on pretty terrible terms at that point. However, memorabilia like that did totally exist at the time and is still made today for big royal events like weddings. I actually use several royal memorabilia plates as soap dishes in my own house, including one for Elizabeth’s actual silver jubilee! (I also have one for the Queen Mother’s 90th birthday and one from Elizabeth’s father’s jubilee). Yes, I’m definitely an anglophile. :D

The real life Princess Margaret and Tony Armstrong Jones, with a focus on Margaret’s engagement ring.

Margaret’s engagement ring as shown in The Crown season 2 “Matrimonium.”

Right after the photos of Margaret and Roddy have come out in the press and she’s been revealed to the world as a “tramp” and a “whore,” she’s seen crying in bed, wearing a ruby ring surrounded by diamonds, and sporting red fingernails. This seems to indicate her “tramp” status. Also, I’m nearly positive that this is meant to represent Margaret’s engagement ring from Tony. I can’t find a photo of Bonham Carter wearing the ring, but the shot of her crying makes it look a lot like the ring Tony proposed with in S2E7 Matrimonium and the one Princess Margaret wore in real life. In real life, Armstrong Jones “designed” the ring for Margaret, choosing a ruby center stone to reflect Margaret’s middle name, Rose.
The next scene shows Tony working in his dark room under a red light; this color theming seems to show their continuing connection, even as they both move on to loving other people. A lot of reviewers have criticized Tony’s line in this scene about how he’s still upset about the situation because Margaret’s the mother of his children as hypocritical, but I see it more as, an acknowledgment of, yes I absolutely understand her right to do this, but also, it still hurts because of our past and our familial connection through our kids.

Wow, this portrayal of the Queen Mother is really nasty, isn’t it? She’s so awful to her daughter, even though she absolutely knows that Tony has been cheating on her for ages.

When they land back in England (they couldn’t like, fly in Roddy through a back way to reduce the controversy at all? really?), Roddy and Margaret are both wearing staid colors, burgundy and greys, which are a big departure from the wild bright prints they wore while on vacation. They match each other and also, interestingly enough, match the house she lives in; this is most noticeable when she runs away from Tony and after Roddy.
I hope we see Roddy again in Season 3. I love that actor, Harry Treadaway, who I knew previously from Penny Dreadful (and didn’t recognize at all initially, as he was hardly portrayed as a heartthrob when he was Dr. Frankenstein). It also would be terribly inaccurate if we don’t see him again, as in real life, Margaret and Roddy were together for 8 years.

While calling Roddy a boy, Tony is literally wearing the youngest looking clothes we’ve ever seen him in –a blue denim jacket, blue denim jeans, and a hippie looking necklace.

“You look like a Jewish manicurist” (something he said about her to his lovers/friends in S2E7 “Matrimonium”) and “How do I loathe thee, let me count the ways” – these are the worst “love notes” ever. They’re clearly hate notes.

The Queen and Harold Wilson in real life.

Harold Wilson on The Crown

We then take a brief break away from Margaret and Tony to go say hello to Harold Wilson again, who’s back as Prime Minister for a bit. Elizabeth’s “unconstitutional cheer” note about Wilson resembles very much something her father said about Winston Churchill in the first episode .

King: “My dear Winston, congratulations. Would it be terribly unconstitutional of me to say how happy I am? I miss our weekly chats. Your predecessor is a fine parliamentarian. A good man. But as company, as a companion….”
Winston: “An empty taxi pulled up at the house of commons and Mr. Atlee got out.”

Queen: “I let out an unconstitutional cheer when you beat Mr. Heath this time.”

This also is emphasized when after he tells her that he has Alzheimers and will be stepping down soon, she offers to dine with him at Downing Street. Just like Winston Churchill. My heart. /sob/
They really were this close in real life and to date, Wilson and Churchill are the only PMs who’ve had the Queen over to Downing Street for dinner. However, his second time in office as Prime Minister lasted for two years, not the …two minutes? shown in The Crown. In reality, it would have been pretty shitty to be elected into office and then immediately resign like that.

Sometimes I want to throw things at the queen mother. Like when she asks if margaret’s suicide attempt was a cry for help.

Towards the end of the episode, the queen is back in Margaret’s bedroom where the episode started, looming over her. Margaret is in bed, noticeably sick and wearing purple, which only seems to emphasize how worn down and tired she looks. The Queen is wearing her pearl necklace while she visits Margaret., which ties back to their connection in S3E2, when they both constantly wore pearl necklaces (Margaret wears hers less now).
I looked up that pearl necklace actually; in real life, her three-strand pearl necklace was gifted to her by her father King George VI.

In the show, Margaret claims she’ll be the first divorcee in the English royal family since Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves.
In many ways, Margaret’s own troubles really helped pave the way for younger royals and made their lives easier. Three of Elizabeth’s children have had divorces (Charles, Anne, and Edward?) since the events shown in this episode and none of them were faced with quite as many obstacles as Margaret was.

Tony Armstrong Jones and Lucy Lindsay-Hogg married in 1978 pretty soon after his divorce from Princess Margaret came through. He and Lucy separated in 2000 after it was revealed that Tony had fathered a child with another woman two years earlier.

The real life Queen at her Silver Jubilee

Queen Elizabeth at her Silver Jubilee in The Crown

It looks like the Queen and Philip have gone back to sleeping in separate beds again. We got a hint of that in the episode previously, when we saw the bedrooms across from each other as they discussed their upcoming 25th anniversary party. They did this throughout the first season but in the second season, it seemed that they grew closer and we saw them wake up and go to sleep in the same bed together several times.

As the Queen and Margaret talk about her upcoming Silver Jubilee, Elizabeth notes that she’s had 6 prime ministers so far and asks what she’s achieved so far. Margaret points out that she’s been there and steady and keeping things going. As she says, “If you show a single crack, we’ll see it isn’t a crack, but a chasm, and we’ll all fall in.”  (no pressure on Elizabeth there, right?)

The Queen’s silver jubilee outfit features an accurate but ridiculous pink hat with cloth bells on it.

Overanalyzing The Crown: S3E9 "Imbroglio"

A scene in The Crown set after the Duke of Windsor’s funeral.

The Duke of Windsor’s funeral takes place. New Prime Minister Edward Heath handles a labor dispute with the coal miners badly and the country (including the palace) has to deal with ongoing brief blackouts, which eventually result in a three-day work week and significant hardship. After realizing how serious Prince Charles is about Camilla Shand, the Queen Mother and Lord Mountbatten plot to get Charles sent off to a Naval posting far away and to get Camilla married off.

The episode starts off with the Duke of Windsor’s funeral. The Queen’s and Wallis Simpson’s outfits at the funeral seem very similar to what they wore in real life.
It’s so sad later when Charles reflects later that he felt like he had become the new Duke of Windsor, the new outsider in the family.

Is this new Prime Minister always wearing black and white? It seems like he really is always wearing the colors of the piano, his beloved instrument.

“My father is a builder.” Heath’s comment here to the coal miners hearkens back to Harold Wilson’s comment about how he makes out that he’s a common man but actually, he has higher brow tastes and comes from a privileged background.

I like how they Illustrate the power cutbacks at the castle by showing the butlers lighting candles.

The real life Wallis Simpson, Duchess of Windsor, and Queen Elizabeth, at the Duke of Windsor’s funeral.

Queen Elizabeth and the Duchess of Windsor at the Duke of Windsor’s funeral in The Crown.

Charles says he’s going to need dickie’s help wih the family because he so trusts that he will be on his side. AND THEN HE ISN’T, you suck mountbatten. He later says: ““you don’t love a girl like Camilla shand. She’s a bit of fun and a welcome distraction from the rigors of the navy. The first few months can be pretty tough.” [GAH, ANGER]

After Charles gets his posting abroad, he runs back to the castle to talk to his mother immediately, thinking that this is definitely her fault. Interestingly enough, she doesn’t work very hard to disabuse him of this notion, but merely lets him yell at her and then calls for the true culprits.
When Charles is trying to get to his mother, all the butlers and staff are suddenly in his way and keep saying “excuse me,” three times. It’s like he’s already just very in the way and out of place in his own home.

How did Queen Elizabeth IMMEDIATELY figure out that it was the Queen mother and Lord Mountbatten who are interfering with Charles’ relationship? I love that in this one scene, both queens are wearing coats inside? But the lamps are on? Are they trying to lower their electricity use? What is going on here?
“We’ve learnt that lesson time and time again,” they say, about the importance of not letting a royal get permanently romantically involved with the wrong person.

ALL THE BUTLERS STANDING AROUND WITH LAMPS. This is the most delightful and ridiculous picture. Anne is iconic, as usual, with her gorgeous “Starman” driving entrance, which then transitions to her walking down the hallway of Buckingham palace singing with staff following her and carrying candles.
Her reaction to seeing her entire family sitting there in the dark waiting for her is also classic. “God what’s all this?” 
Philip knows that this is all serious but he can’t help but laugh out loud when in response to a request for calm, Anne just deadpans, “As opposed to how I am usually-hysterical.” And afterward, after she’s thoroughly shocked her mother by noting that she had “fun” with Andrew Parker Bowles, she notes, “I hope that wasn’t too emotional for you all.”

The real life Prince Charles and Camilla Shand.

Prince Charles and Camilla Shand in The Crown.

In one scene (I can’t remember whether it happened in this episode or in the previous one), Charles' sister Princess Anne warns him that if he gets involved with Camilla, there will "always be three people in the relationship". A wise point indeed, considering the ongoing nature of her relationship with Andrew. And the wording of Princess Anne's advice was chosen very carefully and deliberately, and pays homage, who famously described Camilla as "the third person" in her relationship with Prince Charles.

The Queen and the Queen Mother wear a lot of yellow and tan colors in this episode. Possibly to refer to the candlelight and the blackouts throughout this episode?
I love it when Queen Elizabeth, with great irritation, has to ring a bell to end her meeting with Heath because her buzzer isn’t working due to the blackout.

The real-life Prince Charles while he was stationed in The Bahamas.

Prince Charles in The Crown, immediately after he was moved to his new post in the Bahamas.

Philip: “Are you warming to him yet?”
Queen: “Mr. Heath? I’m not sure there’s anything to warm to.”
Philip: “Give him some time, he’s rusty. You’re the first woman in decades he’s had a meaningful relationship with. It’s what his enemies have always held against him. The fact that he never married. People find it hard to trust a leader without a wife or family.”
Philip then relates the story of the doctor’s daughter that Heath let get away and concludes with: “There you are. When you find the right one, snap em right up. As a central theme, it’s perfect.” He means for the Queen’s speech for their 25 year wedding anniversary. As he points out, “it’s your turn, I made one on the ten year anniversary – mon petit chou.”
This refers to the speech he made in season episode of the Crown. So I didn’t realize this, but “mon petit chou” is probably where Philip’s nickname for the queen, “cabbage,” came from, as this French phrase translates to “my little pastry puff” and “my little cabbage.”

The real life marriage of Andrew Parker Bowles and Camilla Shand.

The marriage of Andrew Parker Bowles and Camilla Shand in The Crown

Charles philosophizing about being on the sea to Camilla on the phone: “Something about the wave, one begins to disappear. And then suddenly, you’re somewhere else entirely. And it’s a feeling I’ve never had before – a sense of safety and belonging and all that loneliness having vanished – and it’s all rather miraculous. I think you are miraculous. Tell me is there any part of all this that’s surprised you?” Camilla: “Of what?” Charles: “Our friendship.” Camilla: “You should ask if there’s any part of this that hasn’t surprised me…. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. None of this was supposed to happen. “ (she says this while Andrew Parker Bowles lurks in the background).

In real life, it appears that the royal family had absolutely nothing to do with Charles’ breakup with Camilla. Her relationship with Andrew Parker Bowles was very complicated and on and off; he cheated on her numerous times, but she loved him and wanted to be with him. Their fathers finally worked together to force them to get married, by literally putting an engagement announcement in the newspaper.

Heath’s positioned as a symbol in this episode, with his piano playing run over Queen Elizabeth’s 25th wedding anniversary speech at the end. I’m not entirely certain what the goal is here though, as it is explicitly noted that he is single and has a tragic back story with “a doctor’s daughter,” who waited for him until the end of the war, and then he chickened out of marrying her at the last minute. Perhaps he’s meant to refer to Prince Charles, who has to give up love in this episode and is stationed abroad in the Bahamas.

A Disney+ Movie Marathon: My Plans!

So I recently got Disney+, along with half the world, and have watched through the entire Lilo and Stitch series, including all the movies and the TV show (usually playing it in the background while working on other things and doing chores and such). It's totally brilliant and you should go watch it too. There apparently IS a Stitch anime from Japan and a cartoon from China that aren't on Disney+; I really want to watch those but will have to track them down on YouTube or otherwise.

I have a few favorite Disney movies that I've watched obsessively and basically have memorized over the years, but they honestly tend to be the wackier or more obscure 90s or early 2000s movie options (Mulan, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, Tarzan, The Emperor's New Groove, Kronk's New Groove). The only exception to this is probably Fantasia (and Fantasia 2000), and then a few of the more recent ones (Tangled, Frozen, Moana). It has honestly been a LONG time (like, since probably 2000 or earlier) since I've watched really any classic Disney, premiered in theater, animated movies outside of those, and definitely nothing that was made and released before 1990. 

John introduced me to Disney World a few years ago and I'm a bit of a nut now; I've now officially gone to Disney World twice and we also went to Shanghai Disney on our honeymoon. I pride myself on knowing ALL the Disney trivia, but...I haven't seen any of these movies in forever. I definitely need to remedy this now that I have Disney+, so I'm making it my mission to go through and watch them in chronological order and write down a few of my thoughts and analyses as I go through. These won't be as insanely in-depth as my Frozen II analysis or my blog posts about The Crown, but I do hope to add in some interesting trivia and historical facts for your enjoyment as I go. :) I'm a little nervous about some of these, as I'm sure plenty of them haven't aged terribly well, but I'm ready for the challenge!

I made the list with the help of this super comprehensive list on IMDB, which includes an awful lot of obscure live actions I don't plan on watching -  and this list from Wikipedia, which includes a few I've never heard of (I'm leaving out the blatantly propaganda-ish ones, the shorts, Pixar, and Studio Ghibli movies for now, as I consider those separate categories)

Here's my list:   (I've italicized movies that I've seen within the last 10 years, which is...less than you might think considering how much I love Disney, haha)

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Pinocchio

Fantasia (already a favorite that I've seen recently)

The Reluctant Dragon (Have I even heard of this one before?)

Dumbo

Bambi

The Three Caballeros (I honestly don't think I've EVER seen this one!)

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (I saw some of this at a friend's party not too long ago but otherwise haven't ever seen it)

Cinderella

Alice in Wonderland

Peter Pan 

Lady and the Tramp (I've actually watched this one within the last few years; I think John and I may have watched it at his parents' house on the weekend we got married? It's a bit of a blur, to be honest).

Sleeping Beauty

Mary Poppins

One Hundred and One Dalmations

The Sword in the Stone

The Jungle Book

The Aristocats

Robin Hood (I actually just watched this on Disney+ a few weeks ago while baking- I'll write up my thoughts soon!)

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

The Rescuers

The Fox and the Hound

The Black Cauldron 

The Great Mouse Detective

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Oliver & Company

The Little Mermaid

Ducktales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp (I LOVED THIS MOVIE WHEN I WAS LITTLE)

The Rescuers Down Under

Beauty and the Beast (have I actually watched this in the last ten years or do I just still remember it so well from when I was a kid. Ditto for Lion King and Aladdin)

Aladdin  (I also plan to watch the direct to video sequels Return of Jafar and Aladdin and the King of Thieves)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Okay, this is one of my faves too, although I honestly always forget it's a Disney movie)

The Lion King (I also plan to watch the Lion King direct to video sequels, which I've never seen!)

A Goofy Movie

Pocahontas  (I've also seen Pocahontas 2 within the last 10 years, which is terrible)

James and the Giant Peach (did NOT know this was from Disney. Have never seen it)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (TOP FOURRRR - I friggin adore this movie and could wax poetic about how brilliant it is for hours, honestly)

Hercules (This is in my top fourrrr as well. Whoever decided to combine Greek mythology and the Muses with gospel music KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING)

Mulan (TOP FOURRRR. The song "Be a Man" was actually played at my wedding. Mulan 2 is actually pretty good too!)

Tarzan (not quite top three, but i do love it very much. The Tarzan show at Shanghai Disney is probably the best stage show I've ever seen anywhere ever, period - it was like friggin cirque de soleil on steroids + all the amazing Disney music.)

Fantasia 2000 (verrryyy fond)

Dinosaur (have never seen)

The Emperor's New Groove (top fourrrrrrrr uhuh, uhuh, uhuh)

Recess: School's Out (did i know this was by Disney? No. No I did not. But I do very clearly remember seeing it in the theaters in 2001.)

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Return to Never Land (I do not remember this being a thing whatsoever)

Lilo & Stitch (I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, even if they're not quite in my top four)

Treasure Planet

The Jungle Book 2 (what???)

Brother Bear (has anyone seen this movie?)

Teacher's Pet

Home on the Range (has anyone seen this movie?)

Chicken Little ("")

Bambi II (THIS IS A THING???? I have so many bad sequel movies to watch, don't I?)

Meet the Robinsons (Has anyone seen this movie?)

Enchanted (Does this movie count as animated? It has like 10 minutes of animation in it. But it HAS been a long time since I've seen it)

Bolt

The Princess and the Frog

Tangled

Winnie the Pooh

Frankenweenie

Wreck-it Ralph

Frozen

Big Hero 6

The Good Dinosaur 

Zootopia

Moana

Ralph Breaks the Internet

Frozen II (not on Disney+ yet, obviously, because it's still currently showing in the theaters. But I may go see it again anyway because it's friggin awesome)

An Amateur Unicorn’s Guide to DIY Brightly Colored Hair

 Hello friends! You may have noticed that my hair changes color on a pretty regular basis. I thought it was high time for me to tell you why and how. 

Various Hair Colors I’ve had over the last year. The green and yellow hair was done by a professional hair stylist (Ruby Devine at the LABoratory in Alexandria, Virginia), I did all the other colors.
I do not remember what all these colors are named, but I could probably make an educated guess if y’all reallllyyy wanted to know?

I"m kind of a restless person (Yay ADHD!) so ever since I graduated high school and left home, I've been pretty adventurous with my hair. I rarely have kept the same hairstyle or hair color for more than a year, really. My natural hair shade is a dark blonde, of which I'm not a huge fan, so I've messed with it for years. Here's one of the last pictures of me with completely natural hair (and honestly even then, I may have had some highlights in there, I think I had some put in like, in September 2005, and this picture is from my high school graduation in May 2006, so they may have still been hanging around). 

I also really love bright colors and sparkly things, so I've honestly been moving toward having rainbow hair for a pretty long time now. However, my sensible side won out for many years; I didn't want to job opportunities because of my hair. So I changed my hair up often, but I kept it all in generally "natural" colors. When I went to law school and became an attorney, I really resigned myself to never having the unicorn hair I wanted (the legal profession is generally pretty conservative when it comes to appearances). But fortunately, my current job as a trademark examining attorney at the US Patent and Trademark Office doesn't care what color my hair is! I didn't want to mess with my hair color too much before my wedding in June 2018, as I did want my hair to look vaguely natural for that, so I held off for my first year and a half at the USPTO, but since then, I've really had fun letting loose and coloring my hair all sorts of different colors. 

 If you want to see a whole Pinterest board full of ALL the different hair cuts and colors I've had since I was 18, there's one over here.

I love saving money and DIY projects, so I've basically turned my own head into an ever changing art installation. Since June 2018, I've only had my hair professionally cut once (to add bangs) and professionally colored once (after a tire blowout totaled my car, I decided to treat myself). Generally, I cut, bleach, and dye my own hair (I'll do a future blog post on how I cut my hair at some point).

I do not remember what all these colors are named, but I could probably make an educated guess if y’all reallllyyy wanted to know?

Your average fashion color do at a hair salon can easily run you $200-300; you're paying for your stylists' experience and skill. If you want multiple colors in your hair or some sort of special effect, go to a salon. They know what they're doing and can really give you amazing results. But if you just want to play around with one overall color or only a few colors applied horizontally, doing it at home works pretty well! I make no claims that my hair looks as good as it would if I went to a salon, but I'm happy with it and I get a lot of compliments, so it's good enough for me. In the future, when I have more money and less debt, I would totally love to go to a salon every few months for unicorn hair, but it's just not in the budget right now.

Disclaimer: I am totally untrained and definitely an amateur, but I've read a LOT of advice and blog posts to prepare, and have learned a few tricks myself along the way. There's an extent to which bleach will always damage your hair, just as any chemical processing will, but you can take a lot of actions to reduce its impact and keep your hair healthy.
 My hair is naturally a dark blonde, with fine texture, but is also fairly thick. Aside from my hair coloring habits, my hair is actually pretty easy to maintain, as it is wavy and dries nicely without any heat styling. If you have pickier hair, you may need to adjust these suggestions to fit your needs. 

I'm also writing this blog post from the standpoint of someone who's had hair that's 90-100% bleached over the last year and a half and just bleaches her roots each time, so my photos will reflect that, naturally. I'm also totally an amateur and don't claim to know anything about how these products work chemically, this is really just a how-to guide.

Supplies: 
Bleach Powder
Hair Developer (Volume 10-30)
Fashion Hair Color (these are generally semi-permanent. In these photos, I used Arctic Fox’s Wrath)
White Conditioner
Tint brushes (I use two, one for bleach, one for color)
Hair Color mixing bowls (Ditto - one for bleach, one for color)
Vinyl gloves
Mirrors (I use a bathroom mirror and a standing mirror behind me)
Hair clips (optional - some people swear by these, but I've tried using them to section my hair several times and it just never seems to help me at all)
A coloring cape (optional- an old towel or t-shirt is also fine)
Some sort of stopwatch to keep track of time (I use my phone)
Old or stained towels (preferably one for covering any bath mats and another for wiping stray color off your face)Vaseline
Black shirt (optional, but very helpful)
Towel cap (optional, but so nice - really, you just need something to cover your hair while it's marinating. A bathcap works too!)

My roots before I bleached them. Yeah, they got super long. I don’t entirely remember which brands I used for the orange, but I know Ion at Home’s Sunrise Orange was the main one; I last dyed my hair orange in mid-October. I did apply Ion’s garnet to my head as well (at the beginning of november) but thought it came out too red-orange, so I let it fade before trying again with a red.

1. Preparing Your Hair: Before you touch your hair with bleach, spend around a week really pampering it; use lots of deep conditioning treatments and avoid heat styling to ensure that it's as healthy as possible before you mess with bleach. I tend to buy sulfate-free shampoo to protect my color and hair, but I've never noticed much of a difference between expensive and cheap conditioners and conditioning treatments, so I tend to pick up whatever's cheapest.

Plenty of people swear by using coconut oil as a deep conditioning treatment. I've tried it before but it doesn't work very well for me. Although I have a lot of hair, my individual stands are pretty thin and fine, so they don't seem to tolerate coconut oil too well; it ends up kind of turning my head into a greasy mess and it's really hard for me to wash out completely. But if your hair isn't as fine as mine, it may be a good idea for you! 

If you already have other fashion color in your hair, like I did, it's a good idea to fade it out as much as you can before you add another color. There are many different ways of doing this; a lot of people swear by using dish soap or making a concoction out of crushed up aspirin and water and leaving it on your hair for a while. I personally prefer to just use slightly harsher methods of washing my hair. When I'm actively trying to fade it, I wash my hair more often, use a clarifying shampoo, and use hot water (fashion colors fade so fast that generally, you'll want to wash your hair as little as possible with the coldest water you can stand, to make it last). 

2. Purchasing Supplies: Buy your bleaching and hair color products. I highly suggest getting these from a professional beauty product store like Sally's Beauty, as you can tailor your product choices to your own hair. You /could/ use a boxed bleach kit (like Beyond the Zone Radical Bleach Kit), but honestly, I prefer to have a little more control over my ingredients.

Bleach powder comes in either a little packet or a tub (which is cheaper, per volume); some bleach powders include ingredients that are supposed to reduce brassiness, but if you're not going for a pastel color from the start, I don't think that really matters (it certainly hasn't for me). I've tried bleach powders both with and without these toning ingredients and haven't really noticed a difference.

You'll need to add developer to the bleach powder. Developer comes in a few different volume levels: 10, 20, 30, and 40. I personally use Volume 20 on my dark blonde hair to lighten it up to a pale yellow. If you have darker hair then mind, Volume 30 would probably be the way to go; everything I've read online indicates that you really shouldn't use Volume 40 at home unless you're a trained professional, as you could give your skin or your hair a chemical burn.

Some of the various products I used for the coloring in these photos.

You'll also need a hair color! I've had good experiences with Ion at Home (although watch out for their blues, they NEVER wash out), Punky Color, and Arctic Fox. Manic Panic colors tend to look really good but fade super quickly and bleed a lot. I also sometimes pick up Beyond the Zone Color Jams because they're cheap, but I haven't been terribly impressed with them (some of their color descriptions are just weird? Their plum-ilicious looks more like a magenta to me); I tend to use them more to refresh hair color than as an initial dye.

I should note that I haven't done pastel colors in the past and am leery of trying them in the future, for a few reasons. First, you're going to have to use a higher volume developer to get the really white hair you need for pastel colors to really pop. Second, fashion colors are generally semi-permanent and wash out pretty easily and quickly. Pastel colors are going to wash out so quickly that I personally don't think it's worth it unless you go in knowing you have enough money and/or time to touch up your hair regularly and/or use a pastel color depositing conditioner like Overtone (which is great, but not cheap).

You definitely need some sort of white conditioner. I mix this in with my hair color and also use it after the whole process is done to help my hair recover.

I suggest having at least one hair color mixing bowl if you can afford it; they do tend to be pretty cheap, and although you could totally just use a plastic bowl instead, mixing bowls have a nice handle and teeth on the edge to remove excess color from your tint brush. I personally use one mixing bowl for bleaching and another for coloring. That way, you don't have to worry about leftover bleach sticking around in a bowl and messing up your shade.

A tint brush is pretty necessary; I guess you could theoretically color your hair entirely with your hands, but it would be really easy to miss spots. Again, I use one for bleaching and then another for coloring.

Finally, you really need gloves of some type, or your hands are going to be blue/green/orange/whatever for a few days (Learn from my mistakes, y'all). I have a pair of reusable dish gloves somewhere that I've used before, but those are pretty loose, so now I tend to use tight vinyl gloves; I purchased a big box of them at Home Depot. I do try to reuse these as much as possible though, to reduce waste. 

There’s a bath mat under this old towel that I’ve already marked with bleach once.

3. Prepping the Room and Your Body: Choose the room you'll be working in. You definitely want to be somewhere with a sink, a shower, and mirrors in front of and behind you, so a bathroom is probably best. I suggest bleach and color proofing your room before you start! I cover up my bath mat with an old towel and move any new or nice towels, linens, or clothes into another room. 

Next, prep your body! I am a messy and clumsy enough person that I don't trust myself to be wearing any clothes I care about while bleaching or dying my hair. I either wear really old/already stained clothes or I go nude (hey, it worked for Adam and Eve). I wear a hair cape at this point, as it catches a lot of the mess, but you can also use an old towel or a t-shirt if you prefer. 

I prefer to set out all the products and supplies I'm using before hand. This both puts everything exactly where I need it and serves as a checklist to make sure I actually have everything. It would be pretty terrible to be halfway through the process and only then realize you're missing some specific item!

You really need a mirror in front of you and behind you to achieve good results. I use a bathroom mirror and place a standing mirror behind me at a slight angle, so I can look in the standing mirror and see the back of my head in the bathroom mirror. It's a good idea to set this up so you can move the standing mirror to a different angle as you go to make sure you cover the entire area; so either get a mirror that won't be affected by you touching it with gloves that might have bleach on them (plastic, for example), or have two towels ready to go so you can wrap your hand before you move it.

Finally, before I actually start mixing, I pull on a pair of gloves and apply Vaseline to my face, ears, and neck along the hairline. This will help prevent a lot of color staining. It's a /little/ less important when you're applying bleach, as I'm pretty sure it won't bleach your skin, but it can be drying and irritating, so you might as well keep it as contained as possible. 

4. Bleaching: While wearing your gloves, put your bleach powder and developer into a mixing bowl and mix it with your tint brush. I don't bother with measuring it out exactly; my goal is to end up with a sort of thick gravy like texture for the mixture, as I don't want it to be so runny that it will go everywhere.

Bleach Powder and Developer: Ready for their close-ups.

The amount you need to mix together depends entirely on how much hair you have. I have a fair amount, so I try to mix up a lot. Inevitably, it isn't quite enough and I have to mix up more. But honestly, it's easy enough to add more bleach powder and developer and mix it up, that it isn't a huge deal (so relax, you don't have to get things perfect on the first time, promise!). 

Right before you start applying bleach, check to see how long your bleach and/or developer bottles say to have the product sit on your head. My bleach said 30-40 minutes. The goal is to get your roots/all of your hair pale yellow; if you reach that color on all the sections you've applied the bleach to before you hit the time on the bottle, it's okay to go wash it off then. I see the 30-40 minutes as more of a ceiling rather than a starting point. Of course, make sure to start a stop watch or timer so you can keep track of how long it's been on your head.

Now it's time to apply the bleach to your head.

I wasn't able to get photographs of this process, but I'll do my best to explain this in as much detail as possible so it all makes sense. 

As you can see in these photos, my roots are pretty long and defined here. I've bleached my entire head exactly once and now, I just bleach my roots, which reduces the damage to my hair. My goal is to cover all of that dark blonde with the bleach. I start by covering the visible roots in my part and around my face, paying particular attention to the little strands of hair that tend to fall underneath my glasses and in front of my ears (it's really easy to miss them, so now I try to do them pretty quickly). I then use the tip of my tinting brush to grab a straight line of my hair back (parallel to my part), flip that over, and then cover the roots there. I repeat until all the hair visible from the front is covered with bleach. After that, I turn around and face my standing mirror (which remember, is set at an angle to the bathroom mirror so that i can see the back of my head). I do the same thing to the back of my head, only sectioning horizontally instead of vertically. 

If you're bleaching your entire head of hair and don't have defined roots to work with like I do, just try to cover all of your natural color. Definitely cover the hair near your scalp before you move on to the rest of your hair though; bleach makes hair dry and more difficult to move, work with, or detangle, so it's better to go in sections. 

(Glasses wearer note: Bleach doesn't seem to affect my glasses at all, but mine are also all plastic. I have no idea what this could do to metal frames. If you have metal frames and are concerned, it might be better to wear contacts if you have that as an option.)

Bleaching your roots results in just super attractive photos, yeah? The timer shows how long it took for me to apply all the bleach + a few minutes to make sure it all processed enough.

Lots of people and most professionals swear by sectioning your hair with hair clips while you bleach and dye it, with the idea that it helps keep it out of the way while you're working and makes the whole process easier. I can definitely see the benefits of doing this if you're putting in different colors, but for one color all over, I just haven't found this necessary or helpful. 

Once all your roots/all your hair is covered with bleach, you wait until it all turns a pale yellow. If you have a lot of hair like I do, your roots and hairline (the first area you applied bleach to) will turn yellow a LOT faster than the rest of your hair. This is okay, just keep track of the time so you don't over-process any one section of your hair (as you can see, it took me around 34 minutes to apply all the bleach to my hair, and then I waited for a few minutes to make sure it processed completely, so the pieces exposed the longest were under the 40 minutes decreed on the bottle). If you have a few minutes to spare, this is a good time to wash your gloves, mixing bowl, and tint brush (hint, if you're having trouble removing product from either the teeth of your mixing bowl or the bristles of your tint brush, rubbing the brush against the teeth fixes both problems).

When all the sections of your hair you applied bleach to have turned pale yellow, jump in the shower and wash it all out with water (I've used both cold and hot water for this part and never noticed any difference, so I use hot because it's so much more comfortable). I wear gloves for this to avoid touching the bleach as much as possible. Once my head feels mostly clean, I'll take off my gloves so I can check for any remaining product. Finally, I'll actually use shampoo to wash out any remaining bits of bleach. Then I jump out of the shower and dry my hair off as much as I can with a towel (I use a microfiber towel, which is healthier for the hair). 

Your hair is going to feel dry as heck at this point and will tangle really easily, but don't worry, we'll fix that with the next step.

5. Coloring Time: I like to change into an old shirt or a black shirt which color won't show up on before I color (trying to put a shirt on over hair color covered hair is a pretty good way to get color...everywhere). 

Then I throw my cape and gloves back on and with my second mixing bowl and brush, I mix together hair color and white conditioner. I probably put in about a 3:1 ratio of color:conditioner. That much conditioner is enough to moisturize my hair but also isn't so much that it's going to dilute the color significantly. I then use the same method to ensure I color all of my hair that I use for the bleaching part, only this time, I'm covering ALL OF THE HAIR, starting with the hairline and the roots. Remember, use the tip of the brush  to section off and color all of your hair visible from the front, than turn around and use the mirror to color the back, sectioning off hair with the brush horizontally down. Coloring tends to go a lot quicker than bleaching, as you're adding moisture to your hair instead of taking it out, and your hair is just significantly easier to work with (as you can see in my photo below, it took me a little less than 22 minutes to apply it all). 

Arctic Fox’s Wrath + conditioner in a mixing bowl. I don’t remember where I got the towel cap at this point; it was probably like the dollar store or target or something? My rainbow glasses are from Zenni. :) The timer shows how long it took me to apply all the color to my hair.

You really want to saturate your hair with the color/conditioner mix. As you're doing all this, make sure to get out any tangles in your hair with your fingers; it'll be easier once you get a little moisture back into it. 

Then, I pile all my hair up on my head and put on my towel cap, making sure to cover all of the colored hair in the front, back, and sides. This allows me to walk around and work in the house without smearing color on all the chairs or furniture. 

Most hair color bottles say to leave it on for 30-40 minutes, but I always leave it on a lot longer, at least two to thee hours, sometimes all day if I have the time. As I mentioned earlier, fashion color fades quickly, so you might as well help it as much as you can by laying it on thick in the beginning. For these photos, the color mix was on my hair for about 2.5 hours.

After I'm done marinating, I take a shower (putting the gloves back on again to avoid smurf/bloody/cheeto hands) and use hot water to rinse out as much color as I can. The water likely isn't going to run totally clear with semi-permanent fashion colors, but once there's a significant drop of the /amount of color/, I color in the water, I use shampoo to wash my hair again, and then condition for a little while longer just for added measure. 

When I hop out of the shower, I'll dry my hair off as much as I can and put on a black shirt or old shirt underneath, as sometimes the hair color will bleed when it's still wet and you don't want to risk staining. 

Warning: Your hair color will definitely look way darker when it’s wet than when it’s dry, so let it fully dry before you decide whether you like or hate it.

Want more than one color? If you want to have a more complex color scheme, with more than one color, I suggest sticking to just painting those colors horizontally across your hair instead of vertically, that way you have a clear line to work with (like on your roots). As you can see in my hair photos at the top, I've done this a few times before with having different color roots or tips. That's pretty manageable. I personally don't feel comfortable messing about with different colors /down my hair/ on different strands; to do it correctly, you have to get into using foils and such to ensure the colors don't mix and turn brown and that's just...too much work and skill for me. If I want to do something like that, I go to a professional at a salon.

And that's pretty much it! Here are a few tips for upkeep though, just real quick (this post is already insanely long).

Upkeep Tips: 

This color is Arctic Fox’s Wrath with wet hair, dry hair, and in two different types of light.

Don't wash your hair every day; I usually wash mine every other day or every two days if I'm not working out as much that week. I'll often use dry shampoo or cornstarch to absorb oils in my hair so I can go longer between washes (cornstarch can be used as a DIY dry shampoo that doesn't require aerosol spray, which can hurt the environment. I put that on my scalp before sleep; as i toss and turn at night, it rubs in and makes my hair look awesome! 
Another option is to only wash your hair with water and conditioner; this removes some of the sweat and oil buildup without needing shampoo.

A sulfate-free shampoo is pretty much necessary when you have fashion color. I've used OGX in the past but have started switching now to solid shampoo bars to reduce my environmental impact (yes, I know dying my hair ends up requiring a lot of plastic bottles and plastic products. I'm currently working on researching brand alternatives that are more environmentally friendly).

Try to only wash your hair with cold water if you can stand it, or lukewarm at least. I hate the cold and usually use lukewarm and my hair color still manages to last a pretty long time!

You can refresh your hair with a mixture of hair color and conditioner every few days. There are a few brands of conditioner with hair color already included, like Overtone. In my experience, these work really well but are also pretty expensive (like $18 a bottle versus $7-10 for a tube or jar of hair color + an additional few bucks for some white conditioner, which again, you can just buy at the dollar store, the cheaper stuff seems to work perfectly fine). They do make life easier, so if you have the money for it and want the convenience, go for it, but I only think you really need them if you're specifically trying to maintain a specific pastel color from the start (which you could mix together with color and conditioner too, but it would probably be difficult to keep it the exact same color throughout). Brighter colors like I prefer are touched up perfectly well with home-mixed color and conditioner. My hair changes shades over  time with different touch ups, and I'm fine with that. 

I also suggest avoiding heat styling as much as possible to keep your hair healthy. I only use a hair dryer or a curling iron on my hair maybe once every two months or so, for special occasions only.

Credits:

When I do get my hair done professionally, I go to Ruby Devine at the LABoratory in Alexandria, Virginia.

I learned a LOT about hair bleaching and coloring from the Dainty Squid’s master hair posts on the subject, although I’ve added a few things and adjusted others to fit my specific needs.

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The Shoes of Six the Musical

The shoes of Six the Musical! Shoes made by @laducashoesuk Shoes crystalled by @crystalledbyjane

If you’d like to read all my posts about the costumes and styling of Six the Musical, you can find them here !

The queens and alternates in Six all wear super amazing sparkly shoes that are custom fit to each actor! I don’t really have any analysis to give on them, but just look how lovely they are! Quick Disclaimer: I got all these shoe photos off Instagram and although I’ve matched them to the characters (based off of captions), I’m not sure which actors has actually worn what shoes (unless I’ve specifically stated otherwise).

Catherine of Aragon, portrayed by Jarneia Richard-Noel. (Idil Sukan)

Catherine of Aragon’s shoes

Anne Boleyn, portrayed by Millie O’Connell. (Photographer Unknown)

Anne Boleyn’s shoes

Jane Seymour, portrayed by Natalie Paris. (Photographer Unknown)

Jane Seymour’s shoes

Anne of Cleves (Alexia McIntosh) in the West End production of Six, Unknown Photographer

Anne of Cleves’ shoes

Katherine Howard (Aimie Atkinson), Photo by Idil Sukan.

Katherine Howard’s shoes

Catherine Parr (Maiya Quansah-Breed - West End) (Unknown photographer)

Catherine Parr’s shoes

Vicki Manser in her alternate costume (UK). Manser now plays Howard.

The shoes for the blue-wearing alternate.

Alternate Hana Stewart (West End)

Hana Stewart’s shoes

Alternates Grace Mouat and Collette Guitart (West End)

alternate shoes stripes

The History of Things: Angel Chimes

I LOVE knowing the background story behind various objects and traditions. Back in high school, when I was co-editor-in-chief of The Pony Express (our newspaper), I even started up a little occasional feature focusing on the history behind like, homecoming mums and such, just so i had an excuse to research and write about these things. I’m going to start doing that occasionally here too.

My new Angel Chimes!

A Christmas pyramid from Lillian Vernon.

Angel Chimes and Christmas Pyramids

So my mom has a set of both of these back at home and brought them out for Christmas every year. They fascinated me as a kid. When I randomly came across a German grocery store near my doctor’s office this week and found them there, I instantly bought one for myself. I actually had no idea what they were called until I googled them to find out more.

Christmas pyramids (which aren’t actually pyramids at all) are basically like tabletop carousels, full of traditional nativity scenes and Christmas figures, like animals, angels, and wise men. Candles surround the pyramid and when lit, their heat turns a propeller at the top, which spins all of the figurines around and around.

Angel chimes work on the same principle of Christmas pyramids, only they tend to be smaller, made of metal, and emit a pretty chiming sound as they spin.

A whim or horse capstan.

A giant Christmas pyramid

Both of these decorations originated in a mountain region of Germany, on the border of the old states of Saxony (which is part of Germany now) and Bohemia (the Czech Republic today). They derive from Lichtergestelle (“light stand”), which were made of four wooden poles, decorated with evergreen boughs, tied together at the top, and lit with candles. The Lichtergestelle was gradually replaced by the Christmas tree in many regions, but in the mountains, they kept them around and added the spinning motion of the similarly shaped whims/horse capstan (which were commonly used in mining to haul materials to the surface).

German immigrants brought angel chimes and Christmas pyramids to America with them in the 1700s and they’ve been around ever since! You’ll find super giant Christmas pyramids outside at some Christkindl markets in Germany and in some American towns during the holiday season, although those tend to be run electrically and feature fake candles/torches. :)