Rachael Dickzen's Blog, page 19

“Big Dave’s Goliath” is Out in Gypsum Sound Tale’s Colp: Big!

So my wackiest, most inspired by Carl Hiaasen story is in this anthology! “Big Dave’s Goliath” features a gigantic, slightly taller than the Statue of Liberty replica of Michelangelo’s David standing in the center of a small town in Texas, and the shenanigans that ensue when an act of vandalism removes the statue’s uh, Goliath.

See how many ways my story can refer to the incident in question without saying “penis!” Enjoy a story full of dick jokes that doesn’t actually have anything to do with sex!

E-book: https://amzn.to/2YAIqWz (available July 8)

Paperback: https://amzn.to/2Xqonxv (available now)

5-Minute Pain Meditation

I don’t meditate very well. I have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, none of which lend themselves well to sitting quietly and focusing on just one thing. I also don’t even feel the need to meditate every day, but sometimes I want to try, if I’m feeling particularly upset or frazzled. I’ll sometimes incorporate into my daily reading and journaling routine.

I’ve found the best method for me is to set a 5-minute timer on the Insight Timer app with little bells going off on 30 seconds. Then I stretch my neck in various directions, focusing on the “sweet and sour” pain from that stretch and the underlying chronic muscle pain. It gives me something to concentrate on other than just blankness, and it tends to work very well for me, as I have a focus that calms me. I change stretch positions every time I hear a 30 second bell going off (I previously had tried doing these alternating movements just by keeping an eye on the timer, but I found that ended up being too distracting).

It’s short and simple but it works pretty well! I don’t feel the need to be able to meditate for a long time or even regularly, but it’s a great tool to have in my back pocket for when I DO need it. :)

I always meditate, journal, and read at my kitchen table in one specific chair, using my Moleskine professional journal (I love the layout) and a book holder for my book (keeps me from having to look down too much, which irritates my neck).

A cat will often get into my lap during this time. Today that cat was Schrodinger, who crankily meowed at me until I picked him up. :) Love my sweet old man cat.

5-minute Pain Meditation

I don’t meditate very well. I have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, none of which lend themselves well to sitting quietly and focusing on just one thing. I also don’t even feel the need to meditate every day, but sometimes I want to try, if I’m feeling particularly upset or frazzled. I’ll sometimes incorporate into my daily reading and journaling routine.

I’ve found the best method for me is to set a 5-minute timer on the Insight Timer app with little bells going off on 30 seconds. Then I stretch my neck in various directions, focusing on the “sweet and sour” pain from that stretch and the underlying chronic muscle pain. It gives me something to concentrate on other than just blankness, and it tends to work very well for me, as I have a focus that calms me. I change stretch positions every time I hear a 30 second bell going off (I previously had tried doing these alternating movements just by keeping an eye on the timer, but I found that ended up being too distracting).

It’s short and simple but it works pretty well! I don’t feel the need to be able to meditate for a long time or even regularly, but it’s a great tool to have in my back pocket for when I DO need it. :)

I always meditate, journal, and read at my kitchen table in one specific chair, using my Moleskine professional journal (I love the layout) and a book holder for my book (keeps me from having to look down too much, which irritates my neck).

A cat will often get into my lap during this time. Today that cat was Schrodinger, who crankily meowed at me until I picked him up. :) Love my sweet old man cat.

Wedding Craft Tutorial: Giant Photos for $3 Each

 

You can see a photo print in the background of this photo where my sister Karen embarrasses me with a delightful toast talking about my “don’t call me cute!” phase from childhood, hah. Photo credit to Kevin Monahan Photography!

 

Our wedding venue was a Japanese art gallery in Lincoln Park, Chicago, that had a pretty sparse feel to it. The venue coordinator told us that we could use the displays on one side of the wall to put up our own photos or prints.

John’s dad took this photo of us in Central Park back in November 2013 when we flew in and out of NYC for one whirlwind day to see Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart in Waiting for Godot.

I really wanted to put up some large photos of us from throughout our relationship, but for a long time, I struggled to find a way to do this that was cost effective. A lot of the products I was finding online cost $20+ each. I wanted to get seven large posters, but I couldn’t justify paying over $140 just for this one detail.

I finally happened upon a solution. I found a blog post* online about getting large photo prints for cheap for home decor that suggested ordering Engineer prints instead of giant photos. These are photos printed on large pages instead of photo paper, and they’re more like $3 each instead of $20! Although the quality is lower than you’d get for the more expensive product, it still works totally fine as long as you have a high enough quality photo.

I tested this out via Staples with two photos from our engagement session first. I specifically ordered the 18x24 blueprint (their name for an engineer print). I was REALLY pleased with the result, and ended up ordering 5 more!

These are mostly photos from our trip around Europe - Venice on a gondola, in the Colosseum in Rome, on a train in Brussels, and outside our villa in St. Agatha (near Sorrento). The bottom two are from Dallas and Disneyworld!

I ended up with four full size photos - two from our engagement session, one taken in Central Park, and one of us in a glass box off the side of Sears Tower taken during our 2L year Barristers Ball. The engagement photos were of a high enough resolution that they looked FANTASTIC. The other two were a lower resolution, but still looked pretty good. I also made three collages of photos from throughout our relationship that were too low-res to blow up to full size, but would work fine in a smaller form. I ended up paying about $20 for all of them!

This particular craft worked so well that we have three of the posters framed around our house. I’d actually like to frame more of them, and just haven’t gotten around to it. Big frames are expensive! The ones we have we got at an estate sale for cheap.

Overall, I loved having this detail in our wedding, and I REALLY loved not having to spend a lot of money on them. :)

*Alas, I can’t find the exact blog that suggested this online now (I failed to pin it! Why did I fail to pin it?), so apologies for not giving credit to the person who originally had this idea!

Self-Help Book Gleanings: Checking Email and Social Media Only Twice a Day

I’ve been really addicted to the By the Book podcast the last few weeks. I’ve marathoned through three seasons pretty quickly! I actually really enjoy self-help books and have used several in the past to improve my life.

Gratuitous cute cat photo because all the boys were hanging out in my office with me today and it was super sweet. ❤️

Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod is a key example of this; sitting down and actually focusing on what I want out of life using the SAVERS method he outlines there helped me realize last year that I’ve always WANTED to be a writer and I needed to start working toward it consciously. The SAVERS method is Silence/meditation, Affirmations, Visualizations, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing/Journaling. I don’t Miracle Morning every day, although I try to, and I don’t do all the steps every type I journal (I’m most consistent about journaling and reading = usually a writing, self help, or history book). I also don’t follow the thing about waking up early. I do it whenever I wake up. With all the faults in the method (the By the Book hosts HATED this book), it’s really really helped me and honestly was the second biggest factor in me starting to pursue writing as a career (the first biggest factor was getting my depression under control, which gave me the energy to pursue all these other things).

Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin has also helped me understand my brain and what actually motivates me, which in turn has helped me build good habits. I have ADHD and have STRUGGLED in the past to build even the simplest daily habits, but the things I learned from this book have allowed me to change that.

Anyway, since I don’t have the time to read as many books as I’d like, I’ve taking inspiration from the By the Book Podcast and trying to implement some steps from the books they read into my own life. The episode on Bored and Brilliant, by Manoush Zomorodi, inspired me to start keeping track of my mobile usage via the Moment app. I then deleted the Moment app off my phone a few days later, as it was super depressing how much I used my phone, lol.

I listened to the episode on The Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss yesterday, and I was really inspired by certain elements of it - specifically, getting time back to do the things you really want to do by reducing email and social media checking to only twice a day, at two set times. The moment app experiment really bothered me, plus John and I recently moved off our parents’ cell phone plans to our own, and actually paying for your own data usage has a strange way of making you want to heavily reduce it!

I tried it out today, and only checked my email and social media accounts at 12 and 5 pm (I unconsciously went to my email more times than that just by instinct, but clicked out as soon as my mind caught up). A few small exceptions: for author branding reasons, I posted on Hootsuite, which allows me to post without getting distracted by all the people and posts on social media. I also spent a little time fixing up my author page Facebook cover photo, which wasn’t initially optimized for mobile. I’m on twitter right now doing some author branding things just to like, keep my name out there and keep interacting with people so they actually check my blog when I update and such.

Overall, it was a HUGE reduction of the time I would usually have spent messing around on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. I was able to focus a lot more on my work today, and I made time for a ton of other activities, even though I also had a doctor’s appointment that ate up 1.5 hours. I wrote on a short story for almost an hour. I fixed up my author facebook page. I posted on this blog and fixed up formatting and such. I walked to and from the gym for my hour long parkour class. And I still have time to just hang out with John and the cats, watching a German Netflix show and writing this post. I also feel more focused and less depressed; I’ve known for a while that studies show that social media makes you feel sad and upset, but I’ve always felt I was somewhat immune to that, since I use social media to keep up with friends and family across the country and generally have friends that are very positive and upbeat about things. But clearly, I am affected too. Limiting my social media definitely seems like it’ll help me.

Plus I think I’ll save a ton on cell phone data!

I’m excited to see how this all works for me when I actually get more in the swing of things!

Petting Cats for Wake Up Washington on WUSA9!

 

Sarah Konsmo from WUSA9 Wake Up Washington interviewing a representative of a cat charity with which Patriot Pawsabilities works.

So late Saturday, Mo, the owner of Patriot Pawsabilities, my favorite cat cafe out in Fairfax, posted asking for volunteers to come in at 7 am today to play with the cats while WUSA9 was there filming for Wake Up Washington. Of course, I volunteered instantly, even though I normally avoid waking up before 9 am if I can help it.

I suffer for my art, can’t you tell? (My life is so hard)

It was a lot of fun! A lot of volunteers came out and we got free cat playing time while the Wake Up Washington team did several live spots on the show with Mo and a representative from one of the charity. My former journalist days were all print or online related and I really only worked with video for one summer before senior year of college. I really enjoyed getting to see them at work! I’ll post a link to the content if I can find it; I was just in the background, but it still would be pretty cool to see myself on TV, if only for a second. :)

I got to interact with the host Sarah Konsmo a little when I sent her photos of a cat investigating her purse. She said something about tweeting it out, I’ll have to see if that happens or not.

I’m super glad Patriot Pawsabilities is getting some press! This is my fourth time there and it’s such a great place to visit and such a labor of love. Each time I go, they’ve added something else to make the cafe run more smoothly or more professionally. They now have liability releases everyone has to sign before they go in, which as a lawyer, I super appreciate!

I actually wrote a story earlier this year set in a cat cafe; I used Patriot Pawsabilities as setting inspiration, because it’s just such a well laid out place (although the name of my cat cafe in the story was Cleocatra’s Palace). That story hasn’t seen the light of day yet because it wasn’t accepted for the initial volume I submitted it to, but it’s still being considered for other volumes of that same publication. So - fingers crossed!

 

 

My Experience with the Fisher Wallace Stimulator

You can buy the Fisher Wallace Stimulator here (after you get a prescription for it; you can get a script online if you’re ADD like me and can’t get your shit together enough to go to a doctor for one).

*Note: There’s a $200 off sale on June 30.  

Here’s a much cheaper source for sponges for the stimulator. You have to cut them down to size but I think that’s a small price to pay considering how much money you save (like $19 for 50 sponges instead of $48 for 48 sponges like it is on the FW website). 

(I get NOTHING for praising or recommending the Fisher Wallace Stimulator. I paid full price for my own stimulator and they don’t have any referral program or anything. It’s just worked well enough for me that I want to spread the news of it to others!) 

 

TL;DR VERDICT: The Fisher Wallace Stimulator has been the only depression treatment I’ve tied that has ever made me feel “cured” for an extended length of time. I do use this on top of two depression meds (bupropion and duloxetine) though, and it does take daily use to work (and don’t forget to change those sponges weekly! The effectiveness goes down if you don’t. I do have a much cheaper source for these sponges at the top of this page though). It also isn’t a miracle worker, so my depression does get a little worse if I’m like, sick, or feeling unusually stressed or lonely. But overall, my depression incidences have gone down from probably at least once a week to more like once every two months or so, and when those incidences happen, there’s usually a traceable and fixable reason. 

 

The whole story:  

I have clinical depression and have struggled with it at least once a week probably most of my adult life (that is a guess because I’ve never tracked the incidents that much, but that seems like a good ballpark range). Summer 2018 in particular was very difficult for me, which was distressing since I literally had just got married and bought a house. Everythinf on the surface was going really well for me, but I felt miserable an awful lot of the time. This was how I felt despite being on two different depression medication and doing lots of (near daily) walks outside in the sun!

After my legal fraternity’s convention in August, which I loved but struggled with intensely, I decided enough was enough and something needed to change. So I started researching different depression treatments. I looked seriously into biofeedback, but my insurance doesn’t cover it and the necessary sessions can run into several thousand dollars. I ended up buying the Fisher Wallace Stimulator for $700 instead, reasoning that it was cheaper than biofeedback (oh, yeah, my insurance didn’t cover this either) AND it had a 30-day return policy if it didn’t work for me.

So what is this thing? It’s a stimulator that basically makes your brain produce less cortisol (stress hormones) and more serotonin (happy hormones). I started using it twice a day for 20 minutes when I first received it on August 21, 2018. It took a couple days to kick in, but once I hit August 25, I felt....amazing. The misery, fatigue, inattention, and self hatred I constantly feel when in a depression fog had left me. Suddenly, I felt happy, focused, energetic, and stable.

I accomplished SO MUCH that weekend, and when I got back to work that Monday, I found that the benefits stuck with me. The euphoria did actually wear off after a few days (because no one can live like that all the time) but the device continued to really work for me.

Positive effects of getting my depression under control:  

Here’s what I wrote about my FW Stimulator Experience last September: 

- I feel happier at my job than I have...basically ever. I procrastinate less and find it significantly easier to focus and churn out work. I do sometimes still have focus issues (I do have ADD after all!) and occasionally get bored, but those issues are much more manageable using basic time management and work techniques, as opposed to previously, when I struggled with focus, boredom, and serious misery almost all day, every day. It’s amazing how much easier it is to do your job when your brain is working the way it should!

- Tasks at home are easier for me to accomplish too, and it’s easier for me to stick to good habits and health. I actually managed to break the weight loss plateau I’ve been on since January 2016! Because fun fact- it’s a lot easier to stick to a diet when you’re emotionally stable.

-I feel like I’ve gotten better at sticking to social commitments once I make them; in the past, I’ve backed out of plans with friends a lot due to just plain feeling miserable and fatigued for reasons I couldn’t explain. I haven’t done that since I started this treatment.

It’s not like I never feel sad or mad or frustrated, but it’s all manageable now;  these are all emotions that I’m experiencing within their healthy range. They’re not overwhelming me. I have, however, had to start really working to figure out exactly what I need to be happy when I’m not seriously depressed, because I’ve had depression for long that like, I really don’t know. I’ve discovered for example, that when I’m not hampered by depression, I want and need to be around friends more often to be happy! But these are fixable problems. :)

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop but so far, it seems like this treatment is actually sticking and working for me. I haven’t had a depression incident since the effects of the stimulator kicked in (i did come close, but it ends up that was just because i ignored the instructions about changing the sponges in the applicators every week. Once I changed it, it immediately started working as well for me again.). If I go 6 months without a recurrence of depression, I plan to talk to my doctors about weaning myself off depression meds altogether.

It was expensive, but honestly, this feels like the best money I’ve ever spent on anything ever and I honestly cannot friggin believe more people don’t know about it. I am in SUCH a better mental place than I was 30 days ago. And that’s why I wrote that novel of a status. 

 

Me writing about my experience in October:

1. I enjoy talking to pro se applicants over the phone SO much more than I previously did. I also really enjoyed the trademark picnic today and had an easy time talking to numerous people, when in the past, I've definitely struggled to start up conversations. It hasn't totally erased my focus issues, because I still have ADD, but it is generally much much easier for me to concentrate on conversations and while working.

2. I have managed to move forward with several long term goals in the past MONTH that I've been stalled on for a longggg time. I wrote a one act play I was happy with and submitted it to a new works festival! I can't remember the last time I actually finished a creative writing project I started (longer than a blog post anyway)! I broke through my weight loss plateau/rollercoaster and as of this morning have lost 31 pounds. I've started meditating every morning and working out every morning! These habits have been so hard for me to build and I am delighted they are happening.

I still totally suck at getting anywhere on time ever. ADD Tip: If you can get a job that doesn't care /when/ you work as long as you get your hours in, it is the best thing for someone with time blindness ever.

3. I have a few credit card issues I've been working on for a while (because law school taught me terrible financial habits, medical bills, etc.). These money issues used to /really/ stress me out and upset me, and John was scared to talk to me about them, but today we had a conversation about it and realized that actually, I haven't freaked out over money at all since the treatment kicked in. This is a delightful effect that is totally making my marriage better and John's life a little easier.

5. In general, dealing with problems is much much easier for me, and I'm more of a macgyver at finding creative solutions. This has come up several times lately, but the only example i can think of right now - John's welder is 300 pounds and can only sit in one open closet on the main floor in the entryway, as it would damage the floor anywhere else. You can't even close the door and it's just...not tidy or nice looking at all. I managed to hide it by hanging up a curtain and now our front entryway looks much better!

6. My extroversion is much more apparent now and I basically want to hang out with my friends alllll the time. My weekends are much more full of activities and I'm committing more time toward seeing friends during the week as well! Poor introvert John is slightly overwhelmed by this, but we're slowly finding a happy medium for the two of us.

 

 These days: 

Almost a year after trying it, I still use my happy zappy (as I affectionately call it) daily. I usually only need to use it once a day now, but if I’m having a tougher time than usual, I’ll use it twice daily. I am still on my depression meds (I tried removing one in the winter without actually talking to my doctor about it and it didn’t work so well). I firmly believe I wouldn’t be where I am as an author today without getting my depression under control. I won NaNoWriMo, finished that novel, and am revising it currently. I’ve written numerous short stories and essays and submitted them to literary publications; i’ve had three accepted. I published one of my short stories as an ebook and am turning that into a short story series, with a new volume released each month! I really don’t think any of that would be possible for me personally without the Fisher Wallace Stimulator. It has actually changed my life and made it significantly better. It’s not for everyone; it’s helped most of my friends I’ve recommended it to, but it just gave one of them headaches and nightmares. Given the high cost and the fact that insurance doesn’t cover it, I understand why people would be hesitant to buy it. Personally though, it’s one of the best decisions of my life. 

 

If you have any questions, please ask away! I’d be happy to talk to you more. :) 

#mentalhealth #depression #endthestigma

 

Wedding Craft Tutorial: How to DIY a Cardboard Cutout of Your Pet

So I got married last year and did a TON of craft projects for the wedding that I’ve never actually bothered to write about anywhere. Someone reached out to me today to ask about the cat cutouts at my wedding after seeing pictures of them on Offbeat Bride, so clearly there’s an audience for this sort of thing!

If you want to see our full wedding profile, it’s up on Offbeat Bride here!

Photo by Kevin Monahan Photography

This one’s pretty simple. Basically, I’m a crazy cat lady and I wanted to have cardboard cutouts of my cats Schrodinger and Ziggy Stardust at our wedding, but all the ones for sale online seemed to cost $30+ each! To save money, I ended up figuring out how to make my own.

I put my cats in their specially purchased sparkly pink wedding bowties and took as many pictures of them as I could for a few days to ensure I could get at least ONE decent full figure shot of both of them.

I edited these photos and cut out a lot of the background to reduce the measurements of the sign I’d need (and also the cost!).

I found the cheapest cardboard signs with a rigid core I could find online. I ended up sourcing these from GotPrint.com! I ordered two 9”x 24” rectangle signs with these images printed on them, with a kraft color core. There ended up being a lot of white space on the bottom of the signs, but I wasn’t worried, as I knew I could cut it out.

Once the cardboard signs arrived, I used an exacto knife to cut out around the cats and make the final cutouts! Although to be exact(O!), I should note that my now husband John quickly decided he didn’t like how i was cutting the cardboard and took the exacto knife away from me and did it himself. Oh well. I tried.

And there you have it! Two DIY cardboard cutouts of my cats for about the cost of half of ones I found for purchase online! These were a huge hit at my wedding and it was a perfect touch!.

Rainbow hair as author branding?

So I’ve read marketing advice for authors that says that you should keep your photos and looks pretty consistent across your different social media platforms and over time. Umm. These are just the colors my hair has been since last August? Perhaps my brand will be inconsistent hair color. It worked for Dennis Rodman, right?

Anyway- what’s your favorite? I like them all but I think i loved the dark green most!

Less time cooking = more time writing!

So John and I have been using the Dinner Doctor cookbook for the last two weeks to actually plan out our grocery shopping for the whole week like grownups and it has been SO good! Both of us prefer homemade meals (and it’s way cheaper than take out obviously) but I REALLY don’t like cooking for an hour to make it happen (John is more willing than i am but then he usually tries to get me to be his sous chef which- no); this book is full of tricks to throw something delicious together in like, 10-15 minutes.

I’ve failed at taking pictures of most of our meals, but we’ve made micro-steamed hoisin fish with veggies, tamale pie, pork fried rice, shrimp curry, ham and cheddar impossible pie, and salmon with coconut spinach, all super easily and quickly. And even if we don’t make these exact recipes again, it’s teaching us really nice shortcuts for making great food quickly. I think I may start giving this cookbook to friends as a wedding gift because it’s so useful! Hard recommend, especially if you’re in that life stage where you’re still figuring out how to feed yourself without eating ramen all the time.

Also, I love the author Anne Byrn and got to meet her last December and fangirled SO hard. She also wrote the American Cookie and American Cake historical cookbooks I’ve been having so much fun baking through lately!