Misty Zaugg's Blog - Posts Tagged "manner"
Defend yourself by being rude? Self-defense Tip #17
Hi friends,
Wow! I'm loving being a grandma, but I kind of forgot how tiring the interrupted sleep thing is. LOL. Turns out sleep math is strange. 2 hours of sleep plus 3 hours of sleep plus another 3 hours is NOT the same as 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a row!
But when tiny, adorable eyes are staring up at me at 3 in the morning . . . it's heart-melting!
Hopefully my little granddaughter will figure out the day/night thing pretty soon so all of us can be a little more well-rested.
***
Self-defense Tip #17
Being rude can be safer!
Women are often trained to be polite and accommodating in social situations, but that can backfire when being targeted by a predator.
In those cases, learning to say 'No' forcefully, holding up a hand to stop someone, or simply leaving a dangerous situation - all somewhat 'rude' behaviors - can be life-saving.
I'll give you a few ideas to mull over and let me know what you think:
1. Your date asks, "Can I come in for a few minutes?" You've been feeling uncomfortable with him all evening. The polite thing would be to acquiesce . . . but not the safest. Instead, give him a confident 'No' followed by moving into your house and locking the door. No explanation necessary. Trust your instincts!
2. "Excuse me, miss?" asks a man in a polite voice while approaching you in a dark parking lot as you walk to your car. Politeness would dictate that you stop and see what he wants. It would be safer to ignore the man or shake your head as you continue on your way without stopping. You are under no obligation to stop and talk.
3. A co-worker at a party leans in for a hug you don't want. Do you suffer through it with long-suffering politeness? No! Instead try one of these: side-step, use a humorous 'Not happening' if you're having a hard time with being too abrupt, or even a quick heel palm to the chest, just solid enough to interrupt his motion will work wonders.
Many women have been drilled on polite manners throughout their lives until it is second nature, and the confident but abrupt actions listed above will sound difficult and even wrong.
If you've felt that way before, take some time to run through a few example scenarios and find ways that you can stand up for yourself and stay safe.
If you have a scenario you need suggestions about, just ask! I'd love give you a few ideas or see what our readers can come up with collectively . . . maybe a new "Ask Misty" feature. :)
Or if you've been in a situation where being forceful and strong (sometimes called rude) has helped protect you and get you out of a bad situation, please share with all of us. Success stories are encouraging!
It's not rude to stay safe!
I hope this concept is helpful to mentally prepare ahead of time to stop a dangerous situation from escalating. Be safe first, and polite second. :)
***
Well, new mom and I are trading off during the night so we're both a bit sleep deprived, but smiling all the time at the new cutie.
I hope you're having a happy week!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Baby is off to her first doctor's visit. I've turned on some music and am enjoying pounding out another chapter in my book. I find that upbeat music seems to help the words flow better and the story grow faster.
What about you? Do you work to music? I could use some suggestions for upbeat tunes that would be a good backdrop to writing action scenes.
And I'm also really enjoying this world building after spending so long writing in "the real world" during my post-apoc series. With this one, I can pretty much make it all up - the tech, the transportation, the food, the monsters, the laws, the magic . . . all of it! :)
While it is definitely more time-consuming than writing a story set in a current American city like St. Louis, it's really a burst of creative freedom that makes me smile.
Enjoy your reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Wow! I'm loving being a grandma, but I kind of forgot how tiring the interrupted sleep thing is. LOL. Turns out sleep math is strange. 2 hours of sleep plus 3 hours of sleep plus another 3 hours is NOT the same as 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a row!
But when tiny, adorable eyes are staring up at me at 3 in the morning . . . it's heart-melting!
Hopefully my little granddaughter will figure out the day/night thing pretty soon so all of us can be a little more well-rested.
***
Self-defense Tip #17
Being rude can be safer!
Women are often trained to be polite and accommodating in social situations, but that can backfire when being targeted by a predator.
In those cases, learning to say 'No' forcefully, holding up a hand to stop someone, or simply leaving a dangerous situation - all somewhat 'rude' behaviors - can be life-saving.
I'll give you a few ideas to mull over and let me know what you think:
1. Your date asks, "Can I come in for a few minutes?" You've been feeling uncomfortable with him all evening. The polite thing would be to acquiesce . . . but not the safest. Instead, give him a confident 'No' followed by moving into your house and locking the door. No explanation necessary. Trust your instincts!
2. "Excuse me, miss?" asks a man in a polite voice while approaching you in a dark parking lot as you walk to your car. Politeness would dictate that you stop and see what he wants. It would be safer to ignore the man or shake your head as you continue on your way without stopping. You are under no obligation to stop and talk.
3. A co-worker at a party leans in for a hug you don't want. Do you suffer through it with long-suffering politeness? No! Instead try one of these: side-step, use a humorous 'Not happening' if you're having a hard time with being too abrupt, or even a quick heel palm to the chest, just solid enough to interrupt his motion will work wonders.
Many women have been drilled on polite manners throughout their lives until it is second nature, and the confident but abrupt actions listed above will sound difficult and even wrong.
If you've felt that way before, take some time to run through a few example scenarios and find ways that you can stand up for yourself and stay safe.
If you have a scenario you need suggestions about, just ask! I'd love give you a few ideas or see what our readers can come up with collectively . . . maybe a new "Ask Misty" feature. :)
Or if you've been in a situation where being forceful and strong (sometimes called rude) has helped protect you and get you out of a bad situation, please share with all of us. Success stories are encouraging!
It's not rude to stay safe!
I hope this concept is helpful to mentally prepare ahead of time to stop a dangerous situation from escalating. Be safe first, and polite second. :)
***
Well, new mom and I are trading off during the night so we're both a bit sleep deprived, but smiling all the time at the new cutie.
I hope you're having a happy week!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
Baby is off to her first doctor's visit. I've turned on some music and am enjoying pounding out another chapter in my book. I find that upbeat music seems to help the words flow better and the story grow faster.
What about you? Do you work to music? I could use some suggestions for upbeat tunes that would be a good backdrop to writing action scenes.
And I'm also really enjoying this world building after spending so long writing in "the real world" during my post-apoc series. With this one, I can pretty much make it all up - the tech, the transportation, the food, the monsters, the laws, the magic . . . all of it! :)
While it is definitely more time-consuming than writing a story set in a current American city like St. Louis, it's really a burst of creative freedom that makes me smile.
Enjoy your reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Don't put your keys between your fingers! Self-defense Tip #18
Hi friends,
I hope the new year is treating you well and anyone sick or with illness in the family recovers quickly!
And a quick note: if you'd like Amazon to let you know when my new books come out - go here and click the "Follow" button under my name.
Misty Zaugg Amazon Page
Today's self-defense tip is a quick and simple one.
If you're paid much attention to self-defense ideas, chances are you're heard about putting your keys between your fingers and using a "Wolverine" fist to strike out at an attacker.
As I've always recommended with new techniques, please test and practice them for yourself - gently, at first please. If you try striking like this against a rolled-up towel, you'll quickly find that the keys often shift up and down like levers and can hurt or cut the skin between your fingers.
Even worse, the head of the key will dig quite painfully into the inside of your palm, worse the harder you hit.
The third reason this technique is a bad idea? You have to get close enough to punch an attacker to use it.
Instead, the time you spend carefully interlacing the keys between your fingers during a dangerous situation should probably be spent running toward safety.
If you'd really like to use your keys to help you fight back, here are a few more practical ideas:
1. Hold them so one pokes out the back or pinky side of your fist, like an ice pick. Works well when jabbing an attacker who comes from behind to grab you. The sharp pain will hopefully make him let go so you can escape.
2. Hold the keys with a single one held by the thumb against the joint of your closed index finger, like you would hold a knife to stab forward. Similar to a knife, it can be used to jab at face, eyes, hands and other vulnerable places not protected by clothing and muscle.
3. Create a ranged weapon. You know those long lanyards people like to attach to their large bundle of keys. Those are a perfect weapon to sue from a distance. Lash out with the bundle of keys toward the face, head and hands from a distance, giving you a better shot of getting away.
4. The best way to use your keys is to have the correct one ready so you can quickly enter your car or house without needing to pause in a vulnerable position for very long. Make sure to keep an eye on your environment as you're opening the lock. A back kick can be very effective from this position if attacked from behind. But more on that next time! :)
Good luck on preparing and building confidence in defending yourself. Each little step helps!
Enjoy your new year!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
I'm back!
I had a very nice 3k day this week where the story kept flowing so well, I just ignored the list of things I needed to do.
Taking my diabetes and kidney stone medication a few hours late is not a good thing, but I'll try to do better next time.
My main character in the story, a teenage street kid, has finally arrived at the mage academy as a conscripted student who has unlocked a secret magic no one has seen for generations.
He's cagey enough to know he needs to hide it, and the chapter I just wrote listed out all the class and training options for the first-year mages. It was pretty fun to brainstorm how you would go about training mages to get strong as quickly as possible in an empire short on mages and being overrun by hordes of beasts.
So, a question for my fantasy academy fans out there. What kind of classes would you love to see in a magic academy?
Shoot me some suggestions and they just might make it into the story!
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
I hope the new year is treating you well and anyone sick or with illness in the family recovers quickly!
And a quick note: if you'd like Amazon to let you know when my new books come out - go here and click the "Follow" button under my name.
Misty Zaugg Amazon Page
Today's self-defense tip is a quick and simple one.
If you're paid much attention to self-defense ideas, chances are you're heard about putting your keys between your fingers and using a "Wolverine" fist to strike out at an attacker.
As I've always recommended with new techniques, please test and practice them for yourself - gently, at first please. If you try striking like this against a rolled-up towel, you'll quickly find that the keys often shift up and down like levers and can hurt or cut the skin between your fingers.
Even worse, the head of the key will dig quite painfully into the inside of your palm, worse the harder you hit.
The third reason this technique is a bad idea? You have to get close enough to punch an attacker to use it.
Instead, the time you spend carefully interlacing the keys between your fingers during a dangerous situation should probably be spent running toward safety.
If you'd really like to use your keys to help you fight back, here are a few more practical ideas:
1. Hold them so one pokes out the back or pinky side of your fist, like an ice pick. Works well when jabbing an attacker who comes from behind to grab you. The sharp pain will hopefully make him let go so you can escape.
2. Hold the keys with a single one held by the thumb against the joint of your closed index finger, like you would hold a knife to stab forward. Similar to a knife, it can be used to jab at face, eyes, hands and other vulnerable places not protected by clothing and muscle.
3. Create a ranged weapon. You know those long lanyards people like to attach to their large bundle of keys. Those are a perfect weapon to sue from a distance. Lash out with the bundle of keys toward the face, head and hands from a distance, giving you a better shot of getting away.
4. The best way to use your keys is to have the correct one ready so you can quickly enter your car or house without needing to pause in a vulnerable position for very long. Make sure to keep an eye on your environment as you're opening the lock. A back kick can be very effective from this position if attacked from behind. But more on that next time! :)
Good luck on preparing and building confidence in defending yourself. Each little step helps!
Enjoy your new year!
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
I'm back!
I had a very nice 3k day this week where the story kept flowing so well, I just ignored the list of things I needed to do.
Taking my diabetes and kidney stone medication a few hours late is not a good thing, but I'll try to do better next time.
My main character in the story, a teenage street kid, has finally arrived at the mage academy as a conscripted student who has unlocked a secret magic no one has seen for generations.
He's cagey enough to know he needs to hide it, and the chapter I just wrote listed out all the class and training options for the first-year mages. It was pretty fun to brainstorm how you would go about training mages to get strong as quickly as possible in an empire short on mages and being overrun by hordes of beasts.
So, a question for my fantasy academy fans out there. What kind of classes would you love to see in a magic academy?
Shoot me some suggestions and they just might make it into the story!
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
Thoughts on women using violence to fight back: Self-defense Tip #19
Hi friends,
I love hearing from you and enjoy your feedback on my newsletters. Please keep writing.
In response to my self-defense tips, a reader mentioned how empathy might help turn an enemy into an ally - and I agree!
Many times, showing a bit of kindness or understanding can help defuse a volatile situation. Recognizing cues and body language can also aid in recognizing early warning signs when discussion can still be effective.
I hope I've always made it clear that deciding to use violence to defend oneself is a very personal choice, and I support wherever anyone on the spectrum someone chooses to stand.
Personally, I consider hurting someone else as the very last resort, only to be used after doing my best to recognize and avoid dangerous situations, talking my way out or just leaving an escalating confrontation.
Would you be surprised to hear that I've never used my martial art skills "in real life" to fight off an attacker?
And yet, they have kept me safe on many specific occasions. Both my knowledge, confidence and negotiating skills have enabled me to avoid and/or exit situations that could have turned dangerous.
My heart hurts to know that 1 in 6 women in America is a victim of a completed or attempted rape, and I plan to always use the bit of influence I have to teach women and girls how to protect themselves from that horrific experience.
I'm curious what you think? How can we both be safe and also try to exemplify the decent values we try to pattern our lives after?
Food for thought.
And on a more practical note, it is valuable to decide your personal comfort level with violence and fighting back before you find yourself in a dangerous situation where hesitation might make the decision for you.
Please be safe! <3
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
So, what would you think of a magic academy class that mixed meditation with a study of anatomy? Plus, a medical torso model named Freddy? LOL
Well, if mage students want to use their elements to heal their bodies during battles, they'd better know what exactly is under their skin. No cheater healing spells in my books!
How else would I get to slip some fun medicine and anatomy into my stories?
Oh, and are you curious about the inspiration for Freddy?
He is based on the medical torso I bought to teach my kids anatomy while homeschooling. He's made of painted plastic and full of realistic organs all fitted together like a 3D puzzle under the skin and rib cage front piece.
Too bad none of my kids were medically inclined and mostly endured my lessons with grimaces and wincing.
I wonder if they'll be appalled or think it's funny that Freddy has made an appearance in one of my books. :D
What do you think?
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
I love hearing from you and enjoy your feedback on my newsletters. Please keep writing.
In response to my self-defense tips, a reader mentioned how empathy might help turn an enemy into an ally - and I agree!
Many times, showing a bit of kindness or understanding can help defuse a volatile situation. Recognizing cues and body language can also aid in recognizing early warning signs when discussion can still be effective.
I hope I've always made it clear that deciding to use violence to defend oneself is a very personal choice, and I support wherever anyone on the spectrum someone chooses to stand.
Personally, I consider hurting someone else as the very last resort, only to be used after doing my best to recognize and avoid dangerous situations, talking my way out or just leaving an escalating confrontation.
Would you be surprised to hear that I've never used my martial art skills "in real life" to fight off an attacker?
And yet, they have kept me safe on many specific occasions. Both my knowledge, confidence and negotiating skills have enabled me to avoid and/or exit situations that could have turned dangerous.
My heart hurts to know that 1 in 6 women in America is a victim of a completed or attempted rape, and I plan to always use the bit of influence I have to teach women and girls how to protect themselves from that horrific experience.
I'm curious what you think? How can we both be safe and also try to exemplify the decent values we try to pattern our lives after?
Food for thought.
And on a more practical note, it is valuable to decide your personal comfort level with violence and fighting back before you find yourself in a dangerous situation where hesitation might make the decision for you.
Please be safe! <3
______________________
Misty's Writing Update:
So, what would you think of a magic academy class that mixed meditation with a study of anatomy? Plus, a medical torso model named Freddy? LOL
Well, if mage students want to use their elements to heal their bodies during battles, they'd better know what exactly is under their skin. No cheater healing spells in my books!
How else would I get to slip some fun medicine and anatomy into my stories?
Oh, and are you curious about the inspiration for Freddy?
He is based on the medical torso I bought to teach my kids anatomy while homeschooling. He's made of painted plastic and full of realistic organs all fitted together like a 3D puzzle under the skin and rib cage front piece.
Too bad none of my kids were medically inclined and mostly endured my lessons with grimaces and wincing.
I wonder if they'll be appalled or think it's funny that Freddy has made an appearance in one of my books. :D
What do you think?
Happy reading this week!
— Misty :)
Misty Zaugg Website
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