Suresh Ramaswamy's Blog

Higher Wellness

Use the Power of Consciousness to Heal

Sometimes chronic symptoms can leave us feeling disempowered and overly dependent on external expertise and therapies to heal. Did you know you can shift the trajectory of your healing journey and experience tremendous wellness with a fantastic resource you already possess—your consciousness! Yes, you can heal yourself through the power of your consciousness! By connecting with a higher aspect of your own being, you can take charge of your journey to wellness and unleash the power of your consciousness for healing and transformation.

You can even go beyond ordinary wellness to the more desirable state of higher wellness. Higher wellness is about more than just physical fitness, good nutrition, or being free of disease. It means being whole, integrated, and aligned in all dimensions—physical, emotional, and spiritual—so that you can fully engage with life, create, grow, and contribute without being hindered by limitations.

What does higher wellness feel like? There are several key components to the experience of higher wellness:

Connection: You feel a sense of connectedness with everyone and everything. This feeling can arise from a deep understanding of your interdependence and interconnection with all beings and the world around you.

Goodness: You radiate goodness continually, regardless of any possibility of reciprocation, towards all beings. This goodness is not an interpersonal, emotion-driven feeling but rather a pure love that arises from an abundance of joy and levity. It is a recognition of your wholeness and unity with all that exists.

Vitality: You have a steady flow of energy and light through the clear channels in your body. The flow allows you to express yourself and experience life fully. Such a state can come from practices such as meditation, yoga, or other energy work that help balance and harmonize the flow of energy within us.

Before we dive into how to use the power of consciousness, let us briefly explore the nature of reality. Creation consists of the physical plane, energy plane, and light plane. Pure consciousness is prior to all these planes. These aspects are also reflected within us. We have a physical body, an energetic body, and a light body, and our essence transcends all these layers of our being. Consciousness is fundamental and permeates the entire creation. We can tap into higher aspects of our being and the vast field of awareness to bring about healing and transformation.

The Infinity VitalizerTM healing technique is an excellent way to use the power of Light to bring about healing. To practice this amazing technique, find a quiet place to sit down and relax. From the depths of your heart, call upon the highest frequency of Light—the Light of Infinity—to help you heal so you can be full of energy and vitality and live your highest purpose. Visualize a spot of Light tracing the shape of the infinity sign (∞). Keep the spot continuously moving as you practice. Place the center of the infinity sign on your heart. The size of the infinity sign can be as big as your hand; it can also be bigger if you like. It may also grow in size during practice. After some time, move the Light to a specific area where you need healing. For instance, if you have right knee pain, visualize the Light moving with the center of the infinity sign on your right knee. The Light moving through a specific part of your body clears any blockages or imbalances and fills the area with vitality and well-being. Continue to move the Light and place it on any area that needs attention and love. Practice for 5 minutes a day or more if you can. Finish your practice by expressing gratitude to the Light.

The Infinity VitalizerTM is a blessing and inspiration from the Light of Infinity. By placing the Light in the area that needs healing as we stay connected with the Light of Infinity, we amplify and speed up the healing process. This practice generates an energy field that can support healing and wellness on all levels. Practice this healing technique with heart, and you will be delighted with the results. Remember that healing is taking place on many levels—some obvious and some not so obvious. You may feel relief from symptoms immediately, and sometimes it can also take quite some time before a specific symptom recedes. Be patient and soft.

The power of consciousness brings about healing; however, be sure to follow the protocols and therapies that your medical practitioner recommends. This technique does not replace any treatment or protocol your doctor prescribes.

In summary, higher wellness is about being whole, connected, and full of vitality. By tapping into the power of consciousness and using the Infinity VitalizerTM Healing Technique, you can have a deep and lasting transformation and live a life bursting with vitality and goodness.

Why Forgiveness Is Important and How To Truly Forgive

When you meditate, you may find unresolved stuff from the past naturally bubbling up. Instead of getting irritated that your meditation is not going well, pay attention. These energies popping up may require forgiveness work.

If you find that the stories in your head are centered around someone, you know who to forgive. But sometimes you can’t tell who or what you need to forgive. That is okay. You can still forgive. You can say: “I forgive whoever it was that is at the origin of this unresolved emotion that I am feeling.”

Sometimes you may recall something wrong you have done in the distant past. In that case, remember to forgive yourself! Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Forgiveness should not be confused with the following.
1. Condoning: By forgiving, we are not saying the other party’s actions are acceptable or good.
2. Exonerating: Forgiving does not mean the other person is blameless. They are still accountable and responsible for their actions.

Here is a beautiful prayer for forgiveness you can use. It is inclusive, expansive, and powerful.

Infinity, For Me, My Family, Our Entire Lineage
All Humanity
And All Beings Everywhere
Throughout All Time, Past, Present and Future
Please Help Us All Forgive Each Other
Forgive Ourselves, Forgive All People
And All People Forgive Us
Completely and Totally, Now And Forever
Please Infinity, Thank You, Infinity,
Thank You, Infinity.

The above words are by Howard Wills, and I have modified them slightly. He suggests saying the prayer five times in the morning and five times in the evening. You can also do it anytime during the day; the more, the better.

You may find the Soul Harmonization technique for clearing energies a valuable complement to forgiveness. This technique is described in my book Just Be.

An important related point is not to harbor resentments, grudges, or ill-will towards those we feel have wronged us somehow. These feelings may seem justified, and yet, they are an invitation for us to be BIG. We need to see beyond the specifics of the drama that played out. We need to see the other not as a small person who did a small thing that hurt us but instead as something much bigger that defies definition.

On the human level, forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do. Meditating for a hundred years on a remote mountaintop can look relatively easy compared to this letting go. And yet, this is important and spiritual.

Supercharge your efforts by calling upon Light. I am also with you supporting you and energizing you as you make a valiant attempt to forgive and release.

Forgiveness is primarily an internal process. However, sometimes follow-up action may be appropriate. After doing the inner work, feel into whether an external action like a thoughtful note or card seems right. Be creative as you consider actions to take.

Forgiving is what is critical—forgetting may or may not happen. If we forget without forgiving, the unresolved energy will reappear for resolution in the future. We probably won’t like the future situation.

Signs that your forgiveness is sticking:
1. When you replay the past incident, you don’t feel strong emotions, i.e., emotions with a charge to them.
2. You feel neutral towards the other person (or group/organization).
3. You are able to wish the other person well.

Imminent death can accelerate our willingness to let go. But there is no reason to wait for that. Release now. Forgive now. Love now. So that when your final moments in this body arrive, you have already done the work and are clear.

Finally, remember that forgiveness is not a one-time action. You may need to forgive, again and again, each time going to a deeper and more authentic level.

Forgiveness is important and essential. True forgiveness is not a mental activity. It comes from the heart—a heart that wants to expand and grow.

Forgiveness is generosity. A bigness. A yearning to reach for Infinity itself.

Forgiveness

When you meditate, you may find unresolved stuff from the past naturally coming up. Pay attention instead of getting irritated that your meditation is not going well. These things bubbling up may require forgiveness work. Sometimes we can’t tell who or what we need to forgive. That is okay. You can still forgive. You can say: “I forgive whoever it was that was at the origin of this unresolved emotion that I can feel.”

Also remember to forgive yourself. Sometimes we may recall something wrong we have done. Be kind and gentle to yourself too!

Forgiveness should not be confused with the following.
1. Condoning: By forgiving we are not saying the actions of the other party are acceptable or good.
2. Exonerating: The other person is still accountable and responsible for their actions.

Here is a beautiful, inclusive, expansive, powerful prayer for forgiveness you can use.

Infinity, For Me, My Family, Our Entire Lineage
And All Humanity
And All Beings Everywhere
Throughout All Time, Past, Present and Future
Please Help Us All Forgive Each Other
Forgive Ourselves, Forgive All People
And All People Forgive Us
Completely and Totally, Now And Forever
Please Infinity, Thank You Infinity,
Thank You Infinity.

The above words are by Howard Wills. I have modified it slightly. He suggests saying the prayer 5 times in the morning and 5
times in the evening. You can also do it anytime during the day, the more the better.

An important point‚ is to not harbour resentments, grudges, ill-will towards those who we feel have wronged us in some way. These feelings may seem justified, and yet, they are an invitation for us to be BIG. To see the other as not the small person who did a small thing that hurt us, but instead as something/someone much bigger that defies definition. We need to see beyond the specifics of the drama that played out.

On the human level, this can be one of the hardest things to do. Meditating for a 100 years on a remote mountaintop can look relatively easy compared to this letting go. And yet, this is important and spiritual.

Imminent death can accelerate our willingness to let go. But there is no reason to wait for that. “Release now. Forgive now. Love now.” I am with you as you make a valiant attempt to forgive and release. Remember to call upon Light to supercharge your efforts.

Forgiveness is primarily an internal process. However sometimes some follow-up action may be appropriate.

Forgiving is critical. Forgetting may or may not happen. If we forget without forgiving, the unresolved energy will reappear for resolution in the future. We probably won’t like the future situation. 

Signs that the forgiveness is sticking:
1. When you replay the past incident, you don’t feel strong emotions, i.e., emotions with charge to them.
2. You feel neutral towards the other person (or group/organization).
3. You are able to wish the other person well. 

Avenues to Transformation

TRANSFORMATION: WHAT IT IS AND WHY IT MATTERS

What is transformation, exactly? At first, it may appear straightforward. It’s simply change, right? Yes and no. Let’s delve a little deeper. Change is constant. Everything in this universe is in flux and change is happening all the time in every facet of nature. As part of nature, we humans are also constantly growing. It is when we adapt to change in positive ways that we transform.

Transformation happens on many levels of our being—but most importantly in our consciousness. We can foster transformation or resist it. We can make choices that land us in a proverbial prison, keeping us stuck in our patterns and limiting beliefs, unwilling to engage in the natural and beneficial metamorphosis designed for us. Alternatively, through intention and greater awareness, we can transform with ease.

Like a blooming flower, our beauty is revealed when we transform. Life becomes a vibrant and exuberant expression of our inner fullness. It is a magnificent gift we can give ourselves.

Transformation is a defining part of our human sojourn. Sometimes it is automatic or subtle and we don’t notice it’s happening. Other times it is thrust upon us, tossing us about like a small boat in a raging storm. And then there is the type of transformation that comes from inside us with a high level of awareness. In this case, we seek and proactively bring about transformation. When we set forth on this type of journey, we can experience amazing shifts in our bodies, minds, and spirits.

FOUR AVENUES TO TRANSFORMATION

So how can we get there? We can choose to transform aspects of ourselves through education and practices that focus on supporting and expanding our well-being and inspire others to do the same. Just as there is an infinite number of ways we can transform, there are just as many ways to get there. Here are four powerful paths to transformation that can lead you to increased joy, healing, deeper and more loving relationships, and elevated consciousness. 

Sounds amazing? That’s because it is.

1. Transformation through Creativity
We, humans, are inherently creative beings. Creativity is available and accessible to all of us. Always. It is not something exclusive for artists or those who have a flair for crafts. It is innate wisdom ready to be tapped into and unleashed. And it is one of the most amazing vehicles for transformation. 

Creativity can be defined as imagination, inspiration, originality, innovation, or vision combined with action. It’s raw self-expression, channeling a deep part of ourselves and bringing it out into the world.

As children, everything was a new creation. Our imaginations straddled the atmospheres of infinite possibilities. We drew purple and orange dinosaurs wearing fedoras, played rocket-ship in the backyard, answered questions with more ridiculous questions, dressed up in outlandish outfits, and engaged with the world through a devout lens of curiosity and fascination.

Somewhere along the road to adulthood many of us lost our spark to create. We got pulled into a myriad of responsibilities and tasks and allowed our imaginations and creativity to go dormant.

The excellent news is that our creative core is still inside of us, eagerly waiting to be utilized. In fact, by not using it we are repressing an important part of ourselves: our vital energy.

Creativity is energy. Energy moves energy and begets transformation. We go from one state of being to another. We bring something that was only once an idea or thought into the world and move with it, thereby transforming ourselves and those around us.

How do you get back to being creative? First, make a conscious intention to create. With awareness and intention, you can resurrect the inspiration and imagination pulsing inside you. 

Second, free yourself from any judgments or limiting beliefs. Know you have everything you need to be creative. You need no special skills or degrees. You are more than qualified just by being you.

Third, experiment. Try things. Anything. It doesn’t matter what it is, if you are drawn to it, go for it. Paint with your non-dominant hand. Or your foot! Dance-walk down the beach. Make up a song while you organize paper clips. Or bake a cake using sun-dried tomatoes. The opportunities are endless.

Fourth, involve others. Playing and connecting with a friend or group will harness even greater volumes of creativity. The energy becomes intensified and fuller. That’s why as kids we always asked, “Can you come out and play?” We knew the power of togetherness.

Lastly, practice. The more you practice the more familiar and easier it will feel. Every day make an effort to add your creative spin to your life. Ask yourself, “What am I intrigued with and how can I be with it or do it differently?”

You are the artist of your life. Be bold. Imagine, create, and notice the transformation that occurs. Your body, mind, and spirit will shift into something grander, something so full of joy that your passion for life will overflow. Once that happens, don’t stop there. Create more.

2. Transformation through Sound Healing
Music has always been recognized as having a powerful effect on human consciousness. Now, we are learning why different kinds of music and sounds have the effects that they do on the body, emotions, mind, and spirit.

Science tells us that all life is energy in one form or another. Each energy shape has its pattern of frequencies. When one form experiences a matching frequency in the form of a musical note, the form will begin to vibrate in unison with the note in sympathetic resonance. A strong enough vibration can cause a form to restructure itself, as has been noted with cancer cells, water crystals, etc. With Tibetan Singing Bowls, every note creates sympathetic resonance with every other note producing harmonic overtones that commence the healing process.

Healing is a transformative process; a movement from disharmony to harmony, from duality to non-duality, or Divine Awareness. The journey of healing then is a spiritual awakening with consequences on our physical, emotional, and cognitive well-being. As we awaken, our perspective shifts. As our perspective shifts, our vibration shifts. As our vibration shifts, our cellular makeup shifts. These shifts cannot occur as separate entities—they affect the whole of who we are and extend infinitely.

A vital step in this healing process is that of establishing resonance with the condition in question. You cannot release that which you do not own. Sound is the transformational vehicle that helps us get to healing.

How? We now know that we can create brainwave entrainment through a process of sympathetic resonance. Our body is a perfect transmitter of vibration, being 70% water. Further, nerve bundles in our spine transmit vibrational sensory data to the brainstem and limbic system—our emotional processing center. Placing Tibetan bowls directly on the body significantly increases their effectiveness. The bowls vibrate at the frequency of perfection, otherwise known as the Sanskrit mantra AUM, creating harmonic overtones. Their sound brings us into health by entraining our parasympathetic nervous system to resonate with them in their perfection, pulling us back into a more universal energetic flow. Soothing and peaceful vibrations are transmitted through our entire nervous and immune systems. This initiates our relaxation response, bringing us into a theta brainwave state and helps to raise the disease-fighting immune cells while also reducing our stress response, creating the synchronized flow of our brain, respiratory, and heart rate waves. The ensuing sympathetic resonance between the brain and bowls reawakens the intrinsic blissful self in us.

Dr. Mitch Gaynor, former Director of Oncology at the Cornel Cancer Prevention Center states: “Sound can redress imbalances on every level of physiologic functioning and can play a positive role in the treatment of virtually any medical disorder.”

Our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors will either engage with or sabotage the healing potential as well. Positive thinking can strengthen your immune system and change your life. The combination of the sound vibration of the bowls with positive visualization and affirmations can greatly enhance the transformational/healing experience.

3. Transformation through Relationships
To create a healthy, mature partnership, couples need to have the ability and willingness to create deeper emotional intimacy. This may require a level of personal transformation for both men and women that tests their abilities to become more emotionally vulnerable. This can be challenging depending on the accessibility and comfort level either person has had to their emotional world.

As social expectations evolve to challenge men to explore and share their emotional world, men must be willing to bring a commitment to doing so. They need to not only change the way they participate emotionally in their intimate relationship, but recognize how their emotional maturation must be an act of personal transformation to be more emotionally vulnerable with themselves. 

Traditionally, men have deferred to the woman’s emotional sensibilities to carry the load for the emotional side of the relationship. While women play their own part in enabling this to become the status quo of most relationships, it also has been a way for men to ignore their half of the responsibility to create emotional intimacy in their intimate relationship. In other words, men’s lack of emotional awareness can limit the depth of the emotional intimacy in the one part of their lives where it is needed most.

Most men have not had healthy role models of how to be emotionally vulnerable because traditional masculinity has socialized us to believe that expressing our feelings is a sign of weakness. But doing the work necessary to open up to one’s true feelings—even the challenging ones like fear, pain, anger, sadness, and shame—not only can be a sign of strength, but it also is an honest expression of authenticity, personal integrity, and self-respect.

The depth of this kind of personal transformation has a ripple effect throughout a person’s life in that it creates a level of trust, compassion, and empathy for others that is crucial to have in a healthy, mature partnership. It establishes a profound feeling of mutual respect that promotes the vulnerable conversations necessary for every couple to develop a meaningful approach to family harmony and cooperation.

The Challenge for Men: To see the importance of expressing feelings as being a sign of self-worth and self-respect, even feelings of fear, pain, anger, sadness, and shame. It is also a way of showing respect to the person he loves by having the courage to be emotionally vulnerable. This will not only create deeper trust in the relationship, but it will also give him the ability to feel more compassion and empathy for his partner.

The Challenge for Women: To remember that a man’s difficulty in talking about his feelings is more about the lifetime of training to avoid feeling vulnerable, rather than about him not caring about you. As you hold a space for that more honest and vulnerable version of him, he can feel safe that he won’t be judged for whatever he reveals from his heart. This feeling of closeness with him will only increase as you both take more risks at being vulnerable with each other.

4. Transformation through Higher Consciousness
Exploring higher consciousness is the most direct way to bring about deep transformation. All human experiences bring about micro shifts within us indirectly. When we choose to draw our attention to our inner space—the space of consciousness—we can have significant expansion expeditiously. Higher consciousness is about getting in touch with the refined aspects of our being. Ultimately, it is the direct knowing of our essence.

Transformation through higher consciousness is like a highway taking us towards our peak potential. On this path, life experiences turn into learnings and expansion more readily. We realize profound truths; we cast aside limiting beliefs. And we live from a place of knowing these truths. Life flows and there is a sense of ease and joy. We are not dependent on outer circumstances to feel good. Instead, we are anchored in our infinite nature—a beautiful state of pure beingness.

Meditation is one of the most well-recognized and studied ways to engage with consciousness. Wisdom traditions have spoken about the highest states of consciousness and how meditation can take us there. In more recent times, science has studied the neurobiology of meditation and concluded that the brain, physiology, and behavior undergo measurable positive changes with the regular practice of meditation.

Research at Harvard Medical School has shown that meditation reduces anxiety levels. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), which records brain activity, has demonstrated that positive changes in brain activity in subjects who have learned to meditate persist well after meditation. Other studies have shown many physiological and psychological benefits, such as improved emotional regulation and higher happiness levels.

How does one meditate? A simple but powerful practice is to sit comfortably and watch the breath as it flows in and out at its own pace. Even five minutes of observing the breath without interfering with its flow brings you to a more centered and stable state.

While sitting meditation is one of the more well-known ways of cultivating awareness, it can take other forms too. For instance, an activity like walking when infused with intention and attention expands awareness. Walking in this way is a form of movement meditation. Even listening to music can be expansive if you internalize and let the music take you to finer states of consciousness.

Raising our consciousness radically changes our relationships with ourselves and our understanding of what life is about. We see ourselves as whole and access love from the core of our being. Our presence radiates truth and light.

When we are in stillness inside and feeling expansive and free, we are tasting higher consciousness. This experience is not limited to periods of meditation. We can enjoy uplifted consciousness in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Inner expansion is desirable because it enables us to access love, peace, and joy easily. We feel content and can be of service to fellow beings. Beyond the delectable subjective aspect, elevation in consciousness offers us a way to reach the highest potentials available to us—tremendous inner freedom and unending bliss.

About the Transformational Authors of San Diego (TASD)
TASD is a collective of authors from San Diego whose books focus on all aspects of well-being. Our writings guide our readership on a journey toward deeper personal growth and evolution.

 

The authors are:
Cherie Kephart, award-winning author of A Few Minor Adjustments: A Memoir of Healing. CherieKephart.com
Diáne Mandle, award-winning author of Ancient Sounds for a New Age. SoundEnergyHealing.com
Hanalei Vierra, author of The True Heart of a Man: How Healthy Masculinity Will Transform Your Life, Your Relationships, and the World. HanaleiVierra.com
Suresh Ramaswamy, award-winning author of Just Be: Transform Your Life and Live as Infinity. JustBeBook.org

Transformational Authors of San Diego can be found at TransformationalAuthorsSD.com

5 Tips to Rise Above Frustrations at Work

It is not uncommon to feel overwhelmed and challenged by a variety of emotions that arise from work situations.

Do you feel insecure and fearful of being considered an underperformer and possibly losing your job?Do you feel lost and purposeless on a typical day and find yourself looking forward to your next long vacation or retirement?Is your personal life languishing because you cannot devote enough attention to your relationships?Are you being asked to perform at unrealistic levels without adequate resources and training?Are you resorting to addictive behaviors to cope with high levels of stress?Do you feel you are treated unfairly at work? Perhaps your peers do not see your contribution and skills fully.Are health issues beginning to detract from your ability to be productive at work?

So many of us feel drained, overwhelmed, and burnt out because of your work situation. And yet we keep at it because it provides a reliable source of income and helps us pay the bills. Is this frustration and confusion a temporary phase? Or is this feeling of being lost something bigger than needs attention. Maybe more than a vacation is needed to fix it. Ongoing stress and a repeated feeling of being stuck often points to a larger issue.

While work situations may appear quite real, often much more is happening than is apparent. We are usually placing considerable emphasis on the surface level of events, while missing the underlying dynamics. The good news is you can certainly get unstuck and function with greater freedom.

Here are 5 tips that can shift your situation and take you to a new level where you thrive and shine.

1. Recognize the meaning

Your work situation is not arbitrary. It is happening for you, not to you. It is helping you grow and reach a higher level of functioning. The specific situation you are in is just right to push you out of your comfort zone into a more expanded state. Step back and see the patterns at play.

2. Release Difficult Emotions

Even if the external situation remains unchanged, you can dramatically change your subjective experience of it. Strong emotions make the situation feel personal. Go beyond a personal perspective. When you release your pent-up anger and fear, you will feel clearer and lighter.

3. Discern the Big Picture

Having released difficult emotions, take a fresh look at your situation now. Things will appear different. There will be less charge. You can now turn your attention to the big picture of your livelihood, career and life. What is this situation trying to teach you? How do the pieces connect with your higher goals?

4. Take Creative Action

From a place of acceptance and composure, you will see a larger solution space. When you feel stuck, you see limited choices. Even quitting might appear like a compelling option. As you calm down, you find there are some interesting opportunities in front of you other than the obvious ones of quitting or maintaining status quo. Act on the creative options you now see.

5. Find Your Purpose

This is the perfect time to reflect on your career path so far, and reflect whether the trajectory you are on is in alignment with your higher purpose. Perhaps this situation is the wake-up call you need to make some course corrections.

When you start experimenting with these tips, you will first feel relieved and then distinctly upbeat. The key is to start with one or two tips that look doable. You’ll notice an inner space opening up. You’ll breathe easier. Ingenious options will emerge and you will be uplifted by the vision of a bright future.

Your work is an important part of your life, it needs to align with your life vision. And there is much more to life than work. Life is a series of personal transformations. If you embrace this grander journey of growth, it can take you to deeper fulfilment. All aspects of your life are then positively impacted. Your life becomes infused with meaning and energy.

To learn more, visit https://www.radiantfield.org/embrace/. Magnificent possibilities await you.

 

Nurturing Intimacy in Relationships

Being in a healthy, emotionally mature, intimate relationship is something that most people aspire to experience. The American-German psychologist Erik Erikson defines intimacy as “a person’s ability to relate to another human being on a deep, personal level.” This is achieved when both people feel empowered to be their true selves through a strong sense of connection, mutual respect, and genuine love. 

The reality, however, of how to construct a healthy, intimate relationship can be challenging. This is especially true if both people are unclear about—and not on the same page about—the mutual goals they could each benefit from in this ideal partnership. An added challenge would be if a relationship has devolved into an unsafe and toxic one. In this case, the effort needed to mend the relationship and heal any wounds could require professional help.

The good news is that there are many things you can do to create a long-lasting, loving, intimate relationship. Here are 10 simple yet effective ways you can make this a reality.

1. Find Things You Have in Common
An excellent way to create more intimacy is to share activities you both enjoy. Sharing builds intimacy and keeps you looking for what works well between you. It is important to foster a sense of fun and lightheartedness in any relationship. Find the joy you can share together, even in the little things. It doesn’t have to be a big vacation or expensive event to make it special. A picnic, a moonlight walk, a scenic drive, watching the sunrise, or trying a new recipe together are just a few examples of simple shared activities that can create lasting intimacy. Explore new aspects of life that bring you together and you will feel the closeness you long to have.

2. Give Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt
If there is a pattern of hurtful behavior from your partner, it can be challenging not to assume the worst about them. Rather than concluding that your partner is intentionally trying to be hurtful, take a deep breath and give your partner the benefit of the doubt that they were indeed not aware of their hurtful behavior or words. This will go a long way in keeping the relationship healthy, mature, and connected. It will also rebuild the trust needed to feel like you have each other’s back.

3. Avoid Comparisons
Your relationship is unique. Don’t compare it to others. Tune into the specialness of the bond you have with your partner. Your connection with your partner will look different than anybody else’s. Don’t contrast your relationship with your parents’ relationship, or your past relationship with a high-school sweetheart. It is not going to be like your best friend’s relationship with their partner, or what you read last week about relationships in a magazine. Be mindful not to turn other relationships that you see into standards. If you do this, you are unknowingly setting up false expectations and exacerbating differences you have with your partner, which can throw the relationship out of balance. Embrace your distinct relationship dynamic and all the beauty it offers.

4. Communicate Honestly and Respectfully
Blaming, judging, or criticizing your partner is not being respectful. Alternatively, speaking your truth in a mindful and polite manner means you have the courage to let your partner know that you are hurt, scared, angry, sad, or embarrassed by whatever interaction that happened. A simple way to achieve this is by using “I” statements that express what you are feeling and why, which eliminates defensiveness in your partner. For example, “I felt disappointed and angry when our dinner time agreement was not fulfilled” is coming from an empowered and non-threatening place. Versus “I am angry with you for being late to dinner,” which is blaming and disempowers both people. When you speak your truth, it means you are willing to courageously walk your talk by following through on the agreements you’ve made together.  Being vulnerable and revealing your feelings to your partner is the gift of honest communication and trust that strengthens the foundation of a relationship.

5. Define What an Equal Partnership Looks Like
Having an honest conversation and making agreements about each other’s vision of what an equal relationship feels like helps to create and maintain that equality. This includes how to express gratitude to each other and how to treat each other with respect, kindness, and empathy. When this is practiced, it creates a Relationship of Equals. There are no double standards, i.e., you hold yourself to the same standard to which you hold your partner. Each person’s voice has the same weight and value. There is mutual support of each other’s need to grow. There is also an effort and willingness to think and act more like a “we” as a way to balance out the ways you already think and act like a “me.” An equal relationship functions more like an adult to adult interchange rather than like a parent to child dynamic. A useful exercise is to together write out a definition of an equal partnership and include the specifics of what you agree upon. This is a great tool to obtain clarity and transparency and a wonderful reminder when you may reach a bump in the road.

6. Check-in with your Partner Periodically
Having regular check-in’s helps keep a good relationship moving in a healthy and harmonious direction. It’s great to do this as part of a date night and encourages continued authentic communication. It is also important to find ways to do this in little ways every day, perhaps over breakfast or at the end of the day before sleep. Be creative and find what works for you both. You may notice a mutual lightness and increased adoration for the extra communication.

7. Downplay Differences
Outer discord can often make us feel like the relationship is doomed. We have a tendency to distort and fall for the exaggerated version we tell ourselves owing to our emotional wounds. Instead, consciously set aside what appears to be discord on the surface and listen deeply for the tones that are unifying and harmonious. This takes some effort because the sounds of yesterday’s argument may still be ringing loudly in our ears and stinging us. Let go of your interpretation and instead trust there is a deeper connection that is beckoning.

8. Ask Clarifying Questions
Sometimes telling a person that you understand their point of view is not enough because what they have expressed is really hiding at a deeper level. It is better to ask some clarifying questions. This is helpful for several reasons. First, it helps them know you are really trying to understand. Second, it helps you avoid assuming you do. Lastly, it helps your partner go deeper into their feelings so they can express them better. You can say, “If I understand correctly, you feel this…. because of that. Is that correct?” Really getting to the heart of any matter is healing and can help avoid miscommunication and possibly hurt feelings. 

9. Develop Emotional Intimacy through Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence refers to having an awareness of the emotional journey you have been on that has shaped your personality. That emotional range must include both the light side and the dark side of your experiences. Along with being aware of what makes you feel loved, happy, passionate, courageous, appreciative, and joyful, you must also have an understanding of what makes you feel scared, hurt, angry, sad, and ashamed. Having this broad emotional knowledge of yourself gives you the ability to: a) have compassion and empathy for others, b) make it possible for you to forgive others and yourself, and c) create a deeper emotional connection with the person you love by being emotionally vulnerable with them.

10. Listen to the Underlying Vibrations
We often take the words of our partner literally. Even in situations where your partner is a good communicator, listen to what your partner is saying beyond the words. Vibrational attunement with your partner holds the key to great communication. Address the literal specifics when you respond, but more importantly address what is really being shared in the unspoken realm. Use your imagination and intuition—two critical tools that can reveal deeper messages. Feel into your partner’s essence and sense what it is they are feeling. Don’t always rush to fix things, simply be. This will open up doors to a deeper, richer relationship.

 

About the Transformational Authors of San Diego
We are a collective of authors from San Diego whose books focus on all aspects of well-being. Our writings guide our readership on a journey toward deeper personal growth and evolution. Transformational Authors of San Diego can be found at TransformationalAuthorsSD.com.

The authors are:
Cherie Kephart, award-winning author of A Few Minor Adjustments: A Memoir of Healing. CherieKephart.com
Diáne Mandle, award-winning author of Ancient Sounds for a New Age. SoundEnergyHealing.com
Hanalei Vierra, author of The True Heart of a Man: How Healthy Masculinity Will Transform Your Life, Your Relationships, and the World. HanaleiVierra.com
Suresh Ramaswamy, award-winning author of Just Be: Transform Your Life and Live as Infinity. JustBeBook.org

8 Ways to Transform Stress into Serenity

Imagine all your times of stress replaced with a string of serene moments. Your days become infused with a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Your interactions are filled with delight and creativity. You feel vibrant and strong. 

It is possible for you to take significant steps towards this transformed reality and we are excited to show you how. Here are eight powerful ways to help you take charge and reclaim peace in your life.

1. Talk with People You Trust and Love
The irony of taking some alone time as a way to figure things out can inevitably lead you in a circular path back to the things that stress you out. Getting out of your own head by talking with others can help you detach from the heap of worry you have at any given moment—if only temporarily. Then, you will be in a better position to consider how to get to the next step, which is to:

2. Remember to Do the Things that Feed Your Soul
These are the activities that clearly help you reconnect with some authentic and genuine part of who you are. However, when you are stressed out, they often go to the bottom of your priority list. Physical activities like hiking, walking, running; any other exercise you enjoy; listening to music; reading a book; making a list of all the things you are grateful for in life—all feed your soul and serve you to remember who you are aside from the stress that may be challenging you.

3. Diminish Stress Through Sound
When two objects have similar vibratory characteristics that enable them to vibrate at the same frequency, they form a resonant system. The healing process requires that you establish a resonance with the condition in question. It is simple to diminish the effect of something negative by establishing resonance. The technique is to make a sound that mimics the one bothering you. Or make a sound that reflects a negative emotion you might feel. Don’t be afraid to play around with the sounds until you get it just right. By doing this, you can diminish the effect of the negativity on you 
in a flash.

4. Enjoy Laughter Yoga
Laughter yoga is about laughing for no reason. The idea is that laughter affects every aspect of your being and is the practice of setting aside a specified time to laugh voluntarily. Laughter yoga is usually done in groups, but you can also do it at home, by yourself, with a friend, or even over the phone. Simply set a timer and start laughing until the timer sounds. It is a little odd at first, but once you start laughing, and someone else laughs, you are soon laughing hard, and it feels good. It’s easiest to start with just one minute and with someone you know and feel comfortable with, not the checkout guy at the grocery store or your accountant. That’s a little more advanced. Enjoy the release the laughter brings and practice daily to funnel any unsettled energy you have into lighthearted joy.

5. Activate the Vagus Nerve
The vagus nerve is a bundle of nerves that run from the brain stem to all the major organs in your body producing feelings of compassion, gratitude, love, and happiness. There are several ways to activate this nerve. Some include listening to the sound of Tibetan bowls and/or meditating. Another way is to place 
your hands on your occipital bone (at the base of the back of your head) and hum so you feel the vibration there. When you do this for several minutes you can feel the shift into a more serene emotional state.

6. Release Trapped Emotions
When you encounter overwhelming situations, you may sometimes be unable to process the emotions that come up. You may suppress these feelings, which get stuck in your body and energy field. An accumulation of such trapped emotions causes stress—even when there isn’t a significant external stressor. Little things can throw you off because you are carrying this backlog of unprocessed emotions. It is vital to release these emotions periodically. A simple way to release emotions is to become aware of feelings bothering you and write them down along with a few sentences describing the situation. Then crumple the paper on which you wrote and throw it away while consciously intending to release the stuck emotion. Discarding the written note is a kinesthetic action that reinforces the emotional release.

7. Cultivate Inner Awareness
When you are not conscious of your thoughts and feelings, you may be relatively unskillful in your speech and actions, and you may harm yourself and others. The more aware you are, the more you are connected and act in holistic ways. You are aligned with higher aspects of your being and take actions that are for the highest good. You feel positive and equanimous—leading you to serenity. To develop inner awareness, find a few minutes from time to time to sit down and do nothing. Pay attention to what you notice inside—a soft focus is best. Notice the inner space opening up. Rest in that soothing nothingness. A feeling of relief and calm washes over you. You will be inspired to simplify your life in small and big ways, leading to panoramic inner awareness over time.

8. Know Your ABCs
When you feel stress, it is important to remember your ABCs. 
A = Aware. B = Be. C = Choose. So, Aware, Be, and Choose in each moment. This is how it goes. Take the first step, A, and raise your awareness to whatever situation you are faced with. When you become aware, take the second step, B, and just be. Don’t try to change, cajole, or control anything, simply be with the circumstance and whatever emotions you experience. Once you feel calm, clear-minded, and ready, take the third step, C, and choose the next action that feels positive and healing. By remembering your ABCs, you can turn unsettling moments into transformative ones.

About the Transformational Authors of San Diego
We are a collective of authors from San Diego whose books focus on all aspects of well-being. Our writings guide our readership on a journey toward deeper personal growth and evolution. Transformational Authors of San Diego can be found at TransformationalAuthorsSD.com.

The authors are:
Cherie Kephart, award-winning author of A Few Minor Adjustments: A Memoir of Healing. CherieKephart.com
Diáne Mandle, award-winning author of Ancient Sounds for a New Age. SoundEnergyHealing.com
Hanalei Vierra, author of The True Heart of a Man: How Healthy Masculinity Will Transform Your Life, Your Relationships, and the World. HanaleiVierra.com
Suresh Ramaswamy, award-winning author of Just Be: Transform Your Life and Live as Infinity. JustBeBook.org

Readers’ Favorite proudly announces that “Just Be” won the Gold Medal

I am happy to share that Just Be has been awarded the Gold medal in Non-fiction/New Age category by the Readers’ Favorite 2019 International Book Awards recognizing excellence in writing.

Previous winners include Jim Carrey.

Just Be Wins Prestigious Nautilus Book Award

Just Be: Transform Your Life and Live as Infinity by Suresh Ramaswamy has been selected as a 2018 Nautilus Award Winner.

Established in the U.S. in 1998, Nautilus is considered a major book award and has been conferred to prominent authors including The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Thich Nhat Hanh, Amy Goodman, Charles, Prince of Wales and Desmund Tutu. Nautilus Book Awards are held in particular high-regard for recognizing outstanding print books that nurture positive change to co-create a Better World. Dedicated to excellence and the highest literary standards, the award identifies exceptional literary contributions to spiritual growth and other related genres.

Just Be has been honored in the category of Spirituality that is beyond conventional traditions, both eastern and western. This category addresses perspectives, insights, and practices that speak to the common spirituality of all beings and their connection to the Divine.

The Nautilus Book Award recipients are selected through a rigorous and intensive three-tier process presided over by an assembly of highly qualified and experienced editors, professors, writers, librarians, publishers, schoolteachers, and bookstore owners.

The awards are named for the beautiful, pearl-lined nautilus shell containing chambers of increasing size that the mollusk constructs for itself as it grows. The shell symbolizes both ancient wisdom and expanding horizons: both the elegance of nature and a continual growth of understanding and awareness.

Note from Nautilus Awards Team to Suresh Ramaswamy
We are deeply glad to welcome you to the honored and respected group of Nautilus Book Award Winners. You can be justly proud of your book’s selection as an Award Winner in the 2018 Nautilus season, which brought a marvelous number of entries and a magnificent diversity of high-quality books.

You have written a book that carries a potent message and we are grateful for the chance to help promote and celebrate your book by making it visible as a Nautilus Award Winner. We hold the intention with you that your book will find much recognition and success with this significant award.

May your book’s message bring hope, wisdom, healing, and joy to many people. We are proud that your book’s journey as a Nautilus Winner will contribute to Better Books for a Better World.

About Nautilus Book Awards
The award seeks to recognize books in multiple categories that “make a difference and inspire.” Most Nautilus Awards have been granted to books from major academic presses such as Stanford University Press, Princeton University Press, University of Michigan Press, University of California Press, Columbia University Press, and Michigan State University Press as well as large commercial publishers such as Penguin, W.W. Norton, Random House, Simon & Schuster, and Little, Brown. However, several independent presses, including Island and Bloomsbury, are represented in the registry of past awards. [Source: Wikipedia]

“Better Books for a Better World”
During the past 20 years, this unique book award program has continued to gain prestige with authors and publishers around the world as it seeks, honors, celebrates and promotes print books that inspire and connect our lives as individuals, communities, and global citizens.

Dedicated to excellence and the highest literary standards, the Nautilus Awards program supports its winners in getting wider recognition, exhibiting opportunities, media coverage, industry exposure and enhanced prospects for sales.

Nautilus honors and celebrates exceptional literary contributions to spiritual growth, green values & sustainability, high-level wellness, responsible leadership and positive social change & social justice, as well as to the worlds of art, creativity and inspirational reading for children, teens, and young adults.

One of the goals of Nautilus Book Awards is to energize the interconnections between books, authors, publishers, and readers, and to be responsive to the world through words. [Source: Nautilus Book Awards]

In the recent past, Just Be has also been honored with the International Soul-Bridge Book Award and the Body, Mind, Spirit Book Award.

Just Be Yourself Documentary

Talented French filmmaker, Anthony Chene, has released the beautiful documentary Just Be Yourself, featuring an interview with Suresh Ramaswamy.

Just Be Yourself is a 36-minute documentary that has been well-received and eagerly watched by thousands and thousands of viewers. In this heart-to-heart conversation, Suresh shares many insights on a range of transformational topics including his discovery of deeper truths. He answers questions such as: How do you work with dreams? What is the future of humanity?

You can watch this high-quality documentary for free below:

Many of the topics in this documentary are covered in-depth in Suresh’s new book Just Be, Transform Your Life and Live as Infinity.

Share this remarkable video with your friends on social media using this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMqd3...