Eric Suddoth's Blog, page 20

The Pilgrim’s Progress

I read the classic work by John Bunyan a decade ago when a wise friend would often praise it. I read the allegory and was marveled by the work as well.

This album is nothing like John Bunyan’s classic tale of a believers journey through life. Or is it?

I usually don’t write about albums, but there are a couple of reasons I’m venturing off into the unknown for this post.

Johnny Grenade’s work needs to be heardAnd in recent years I have come to know Johnny

Johnny’s musical influence of the Beatles and the Seattle rock bands of the 1990s are highlighted through the album.

The album begins with an in your face intro of “Engage.” As I listened I was taken to a place of 1980s Rock with a David Bowie sound and the harmonies of Queen.

“The Way it Is,” has a Beck feel where the sounds of 90s grunge shine with hope.

“Fluorescent” actually shines with the 60s vibe as Johnny beckons us to “Lean in on a light greater than mine.” And the melody would cause anyone to sway to the beat.

“Through the End of Me,” brings the listener back to the 90s rock bands with a catchy hook that echos through the song. It is a part of the song that causes it to be remembered.

“For You to See,” starts off with a catchy pop styled tune that feels like an upbeat Rufus Wainwright’s “Across the Universe.” The melody of “For You to See” will cause you to hit replay for a time or two.

“Out of My Mind” takes us back in time with an ode to the Beatles styling of the 1960s with it’s acoustic guitars and percussion beats. And then a feeling of jazz glides in effortlessly with the woodwind sounds. Brilliant is all I can say.

“A Worthwhile Cause to be Knackered,” flows through the decades back to the 90s very reminiscent of Weezer.

If you think you are getting a feel of the album, “Hey Mr. Law,” catches the listener off guard. And it is a good change. The heavy guitars and drums are outshined by a classical organ, strings, choir and even a trumpet solo as his vocals harmonize effortlessly. As I closed my eyes to this song, I was taken to a different world and that is what a good song does. Takes you places.

“Art” comes back with the Beatles vocal mashup of 90s grunge band rock mastery.

“Relief,” brings a little reprieve of the harder rock with a mellower side of Johnny with this beautiful track where the lyrics are lime lighted against a softer sound. It is almost hypnotic with the loops in the background.

“Dream Dreams,” starts out in a dreamy state of record scratches and faded music until it is ready to pounce. And pounce it does.

“Through the End of Time,” is the conclusion of this album. As I listened it brought a nice close to this journey I was on as though I was the pilgrim on the journey. Johnny’s vocal shined against the lighter acoustic rock vibes with the stunning strings accompaniment. Some last songs on albums just end abruptly, but this last song ended the progression of the album almost poetically.

If you are looking for an album that has sounds from the 60s, 80s and 90s, this album is up your alley. Johnny is a skilled musician who showcases his prowess in unique and catchy tunes.

His influences may be some of the greats, but this album has Johnny’s musical and personality stamp all over it. I might have heard his musical hero’s, but he didn’t copy their sound, but made it his own.

Please give this album a chance. You won’t regret it.

You can buy it on ITunes, Amazon, and most places you can buy music on the internet.

Peace and happy listening.

If you are interested, he has other albums as well.

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The Scum At the Bottom

I had 4 major things happen this week.

Tax season officially ended on Monday (even though I still have plenty of taxes to do)I had my first Saturday off since January 2nd. And I got a 3 day weekend at that.I really started cleaning my pool with all the green slimeI watched my oldest niece graduate from college

All in all, even with the slime and the mess of the pool, it was a great week.

It is easy to overlook the good things in life when you are ankle deep in sludge with hopes of getting of the crud out. But it is a process. I can dwell on the task that seems challenging and undertaking, or I can do as my niece did.

Face it and take it down.

I love my family. Some people wonder why we are so close. But they are my family. I live with my sister and we share a house. Weird to the worlds standard. But it works out great.

I love my parents. On my days off we go to lunch and hang out like friends. They are there when I need them, but they give space when I need that too.

I have another sister with two awesome daughters and great husband. He does whatever for them. Sports. College. Schoolwork (because we know Lori isn’t going to be helping them with Algebra).

We celebrate big achievements and we celebrate small achievements. From raises, promotions, birthdays, holidays…we get together.

Watching my little short niece today reminded me how close we almost lost her when she was less than a week old. She had bacterial meningitis and the doctors told my family she wouldn’t make it through the night.

I wasn’t there, but I’ve heard the stories.

When she made it through the night, there were thoughts of brain damage or other effects.

No side affects. At least I can see. Her sister may tell a different story.

But through the years she has always been the bubbling, personably, Emily. She even got awards at school for friendliness. She would rather make friends and be nice than try to get a 100 on a test.

Through the years we have watched her mature. She grew up wanting to be in athletic science after watching her sisters’ personal trainer handle the students.

Some tough subjects happened and pushed her into a field I saw her doing from her kid years.

In high school she loved sports and tried out for many of them. But the smile on her face in pictures when she was coaching kindergarten kids in soccer is priceless. Then she started working at a daycare and her students loved her there as well.

She is going to be the best elementary school teacher…so schools in Central Indiana…lookout. She’s a keeper.

She went from a week old baby with a hip brace on the verge of death to graduating college.

Miracles people. Miracles are there if you open your eyes.

So this goes out to all the dreamers who picked the wrong college degree at first. Dream again and start over.

This goes out to people with handicaps who the world says isn’t good enough. You are good enough! Keep dreaming and moving forward.

This goes out to the failures who can’t pass that test needed (I took the CPA exam multiple times). Take it again and show it who’s boss.

This goes out to the newcomers who are getting their feet wet for the first time. Keep stepping further into the deep end. You cannot do spectacular dives in the shallow end. Only the deep end. Wow us!

This goes out to the people who their friends and family tells them to stop and give up. Don’t listen to them if you feel it deep in your bones. Listen to that still small voice that is giving you that impossible dream.

This goes out to everyone to live today with a fresh look. Open your eyes a little wider. Take in the familiar sights with a new insight. Step back and be amazed.

So when the world seems a little scummy. Take a step back and remember something amazing! It’s out there. Eventually the pool will be swimable again.

Congratulations Emily! You did it!

Peace

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Are You an UFO?

I’m not sure about all the talk with UFOs lately. Even though I don’t believe in the stereotypical UFO, I do believe there are things that make me scratch my head and say, “Hmm.”

There are many UFOs that are not space related. Anything you see that you are not exactly sure what it is in the sky is technically a UFO because it’s either flying or falling.

But are you an UFO?

Let me clarify.

Are you an Unusual Follower Object?

If you are a follower of Christ, do you blend in with the world? Or do you cause people to go, “Hmm?”

Someone gave me an example years ago that I use often. We are to be different. We are supposed to give off a beautiful aroma of sweetness, of fruit of the spirit.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

When you walk by you should cause people to look at you with intrigue. You should be different. You should cause them to want what you have. Not in material possessions. But because you have the freedom of Christ.

People should wonder at your joy.

People should long for your patience.

People should be in awe of your love.

If you look at the world and you don’t look any different than the next person, it’s time to make a change.

As Emmanuel, Cardinal Suhard says, “To be a witness does not consist in engaging in propaganda, nor even in stirring people up, but in being a living mystery. It means to live in such a way that one’s life would not make sense if God did not exist.”

― Madeleine L’Engle, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art

So, are you a living mystery? Are you an UFO?

I think it’s time to become one.

Peace

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Why Do We Look Forward to Tomorrow?

I have been looking forward to today since January 2. This is the end of the official tax season. Long nights, weekends, early mornings are gone.

When March rolls around every year I question, “Why did I choose this profession? Why?” Do other professions have four months of nonstop work where you can’t catch a break? When working til 10 pm isn’t anything to brag about because when you leave and turn out the light you still have a lot more to be done.

But in those moments I count down to this day. I count down to a day when I can go home in daylight and have supper at a decent hour and enjoy the evening.

I don’t mean to complain, because I’m not alone. I feel like other people are like me. Always trying to outrun the avalanche behind them. Looking for that calm in the storm when you can just take a deep breath for a moment.

Sadly, we all live a life of waiting for tomorrows.

We are waiting for that relationship to come. We are waiting for that perfect job. We are waiting for that break to make a name for ourselves. We are waiting for that new drug to be approved. We are waiting for that next big thing.

But what if that tomorrow never comes?

What if your tomorrow is but another day to wait for that elusive tomorrow?

I heard a startling statistic the other day. 1 in 4 young adults have contemplated suicide during the COVID crisis.

1 in 4.

Look around you. Think of 4 young adults. Sadly, 1 of them pondered suicide.

Does that statistic sadden you? Does it make your heart sick? Does it make you want to go and tell someone they are special?

1 in 4 people is a lot of people.

After hearing that, I asked myself, why? Why such a depressing outlook on life? Why when life is so good.

But sadly, life is sometimes not good.

Sometimes you are hoping for a tomorrow to come, and you wonder if that tomorrow is ever going to come? You wonder as you look at a pill bottle. You wonder as you see a rope. You wonder what is the use when tomorrow seems to never come.

But life isn’t about knowing when your tomorrow is going to come. Life is about trusting that it will eventually come.

If you open the Bible and read anywhere through the scriptures you will find many stories of people waiting for a better tomorrow. You will find few stories of people living the best life.

You can say, well, look at Esther. She was queen. But she had a hard decision to stand up for her people and face the uncertainty of death or remain silent. She had to wait for that tomorrow.

You can say, look at the boy David who defeated Goliath and became King. But he didn’t become king immediately. He had to flee and run from King Saul who repeated tried to kill him. Many of the heart wrenching Psalms are from David crying out to God. He longed for that tomorrow.

You can say, look at Moses who led his people out of Egypt. But they were slaves for many years before and they wandered for 40 years after. They waited for that tomorrow.

You can find almost anyone in the Bible and I can point to you that they had to wait.

One of my favorite chapters is Hebrews 11 – The Hall of Fame of Faith. It goes through many people of the past and list this great acts of faith. Then at the end it starts rattling off many names and other nameless acts. But the most interesting statement comes at the very end.

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Hebrews‬ ‭11:39-40‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Did you catch that?

They were all commended for their faith, YET NONE OF THEN RECEIVED WHAT HAD BEEN PROMISED.

So is God some jokester wanting people to look forward to a better tomorrow only to never let them see it? No.

The things they were longing for was minor compared to what God has in store.

You may never see your tomorrow come, but God is still faithful.

You may never see your heartfelt prayer, but God has something much better for you.

You may never see that dream come to pass, but God still wants you to keep dreaming it.

God wants us to hope. To keep that hope in Him.

When we give up on tomorrow, we ultimately are giving up on Him. And He is bigger than all the tomorrows.

So, please, hold on for another tomorrow. And then another. And another.

Sometimes I wonder the reason we don’t get what we want is because God knows we would stop talking to Him about what we want. And God longs to listen to us. We are His greatest creation.

So, if your tomorrow seems bleak…it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. God already knows how it’s going to end. He just wants us to rest in Him and find comfort in Him and not the tomorrows we seek out.

If reaching your tomorrow causes you to stop needing God…well, I hope you never see that day. I hope you realize that God is better than all the end of tax seasons tomorrows.

I hope I will learn that one day too.

Peace

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Were We Ever United?

I am getting tired of mudslinging. It seems like it is everywhere.

Politics…liberals mock conservatives and conservatives mock liberals. Religion…Atheist belittle believers while believers self-righteously pray for those who persecute them.

It seems race has caused more divisions in the last year while I sit silent wondering “Do I treat people differently for their skin?”

Even the discussion of gender that seems ludicrous a few years ago is now up for debate and a side you have to choose.

And if someone states an opinion the other side will go off on them.

So I stay silent.

Yet, I can listen to both sides. I don’t get upset when someone disagrees me. If I’m truly honest with myself I have changed sides a time or two on some issues that I once believed were the right side only to see something from a different perspective.

Why can’t people listen more and talk less? The world would be a much more peaceful place.

But we don’t.

We argue before knowing the facts. We retweet without seeing the full video. We share status without reading the full article. We read headlines and go off the rails about the audacity of it.

I wish I could say this is a phase. But it’s not.

I lead a group of middle school and high school guys and I tell them often, “If you think age causes maturity you are wrong. People who are immature at 13 will still be immature at 31.”

And that is what is wrong.

We don’t mature. We stay the same as we were in high school where the jock or cheerleader bullies the nerd. The people cause the ruckus now are the same people who caused a ruckus in high school.

There are people who seek out drama. They love to stir it. They get their kicks in it. The same people who stirred drama in high school locker rooms or cafeteria tables are still stirring drama today. Marriages crumble because a drama stirrer wedges in. Friendships fall because a drama stirrer points out blind spots.

Life can crumble because drama is stirred.

But that drama stirrer isn’t going to be around to pick up the pieces. They caused the destruction and they are already setting their eyes on another sand castle to destroy.

Because once you are destroyed, there isn’t much fun in rolling around in the rubble and aftermath.

So, watch out who you let into your life.

Look closely at those you let in. Are they a drama stirrer? Or are they future builder?

Watch out at what you read or listen to. As I tell my guys all the time, “Garbage in…garbage out.” Fill your minds with positive. Stay away from the mud slinging.

Sometimes you have to turn off some relationships that are ruining you. It is better to watch out for yourself now than wish you did a minute to late. It may sound harsh, but if they are a drama stirrer, they really don’t care about you anyways. They only care about themselves.

You may think if I push people away aren’t I in essence causing a division?

Possibly. But I don’t know a way around it.

The saying is true, “A house divided cannot stand.” And I’m not ready to fall to the destruction of others.

I’m hopeful that people will mature. That we will grow stronger together. That we will eventually unite.

But I also believe in the survival of the fittest to a point. I’m not going to keep wearing myself out on petty issues. I’ll separate from the chaos and center myself. I can see the damage being done and not be apart of it. But when the dust is settled now is the time to not have a hostile takeover, but be a helping hand.

Beach lifeguards are taught to wait until the drowning victim is tired and almost lifeless to save them. Many times if you try to rescue someone who is fighting to survive they will take both people under. But when the lifeguard waits until the helpless is actually helpless they can rescue them.

Listen to this…you can’t rescue someone who doesn’t want rescuing. You can’t save someone if they are going to fight you every inch of the way. You can try, but you are going to be to tired for any good.

It may be harsh, but tough love is sometimes letting people crash. And when they are broken you can help to mend them.

God does this all the time with us. With our pride we think we don’t need Him. So He lets us go our own way. And then when we crash we scream out for help. God could have made it so we wouldn’t crash, but He knew that if we crashed we would seek Him.

And that is what He always wanted. He wants us to seek Him. He doesn’t want a divorce, a death, a layoff, a diagnosis, a division…but He can use that to unite us to Him.

So, you may think we are divided. But we don’t have to stay that way. Maybe this will cause us to hate the lines we have drawn and seek each other out.

But sadly…I don’t see that happening.

The devil has a way to whisper hate and division until it takes over.

May we tune out the voice of deception and listen to the voice of truth.

I hope you know the difference in those two.

Peace

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Mayday…Mayday…It’s May Day and I Have a Leak

Last year I started noticing something peculiar at the end of summer. My pool water was disappearing quicker than normal due to evaporation. I closed my pool and thought I may have a leak somewhere but I’ll find it next year.

Well, it’s next year.

And it’s time to try and find the leak.

Leaks are sneaky little things. A little hole can cause a lot of damage. You can lose inches of water in no time. A tiny hole that is not visible to the unsearching eye may be almost undetectable to the searching eye.

So I got a plan. We shall see if it works.

There is a line around the pool where the water has settled through the winter months. Surely if I move my hand around that line I should find that pesky hole and then fix it.

Surely.

As I sit under the stars there are other leaks more damaging in life and my little pool leak seems so insignificant in the grand scheme of life.

People may have a leaky valve that requires surgery. Or someone may be loosing blood and the doctors are trying to find that little tear in someone’s body. Or peoples finances may have a leak from a loved one stealing or embezzling from them. Or maybe from a spouse not being honest with the credit card debt they have racked up.

There are many kinds of leaks. Many more than deserve greater amount of importance than my pool enjoyment.

As I sit and reflect, I wonder, how many people have leaks of a spiritual nature?

Leaks such as hidden sins they desperately want to keep hidden, but sadly, leaks eventually come out.

Leaks such as gossip which may be minor in your eyes, but still bad mouthing someone could ruin their reputation and life. “Did you hear about John Smith having an affair with his secretary?”

That little leak of information has already tarnished your viewpoint of John Smith even if it’s not true.

How quickly gossip spreads in the church. I just wish love and grace would spread as quickly.

Oh, and I know I have been there. We veil the gossip in a prayer request. What isn’t more holy than that? “Pray for John Smith’s wife during this time…oh, you didn’t hear? He’s cheating on her.”

A little leak.

A little drip.

A little word can cause big problems.

And it’s not just gossip. How often do you leak hate and negativity instead of love and joy?

We let it slide because we are having a bad day, week, month or life. But shouldn’t we try to fix that leak before it pours unforgettable words and actions on our loved ones or an innocent bystander?

We may have intentions of fixing our attitude one day, but today isn’t the day.

But why not?

Why do you want your leak to go on any longer if you have already seen it’s affects in your life and in others? You may say you don’t affect anyone else, but unless you are a hermit living in the mountains you affect someone.

We all do without knowing.

People are watching your leaky attitude and judging it. People are listening to your leaky words and thinking, “Why do I want to go to church if that is the poster child of a church goer?” People are using your leaks for a number of reasons.

Do you want your leak to be the cause of a downfall?

You may think your leak isn’t that big or bad, but who knows. Who really knows? It only takes one spark to cause forest fire to destroy acres of land.

One spark.

One leak.

One word.

Don’t let your leak be the cause of someone else’s or your own demise.

May we learn to spot our leaks and fix them as soon as we can. It may be a though job, but if God can hold back the seas with His hands I’m pretty sure He can hold back our leaks as well.

Trust me on that…He’s got it under control. We just have to give Him the control.

Peace

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Even At Our Worst

Are you trying hard right now? I mean, like really trying hard?

Are you trying to be the best parent. Trying to educate and keep your kids entertained. Are you trying to provide for their every need and most of their wants?

Are you trying at work to check all the boxes? Trying to do the best you can be. Maybe in hopes of recognition, a bonus, a promotion. Or maybe just to take pride in a job well done.

It seems like in life there are moments when we soar.

And then there are moments when we crash and burn.

Crashing is never fun.

The thing about crashing is people see it. They see your downfall. They see the flames. They see the clouds of smoke rising higher and higher. They see you at your worst.

And then they judge.

They judge you for crashing. They point out your wrong move. They give their opinions on what happened.

And then they judge some more…sometimes silently. Sometimes loudly.

It’s interesting. People judge without knowing all the facts. They pick a side and dig in their heels and hold fast to their judgmental call.

Why do we worry so much what people think?

I know I do.

I try to be the best, but their best is often too lofty of a expectation to reasonably reach. And yet I want their approval.

I desire it.

I long for it.

All the while, God sits on His throne and watches everything.

Do we really worry about His opinion of us?

Shouldn’t we worry about his opinion of us more than what our neighbors think?

Yet, sadly, we don’t cringe when we fail in the comfort of our own homes where strangers eyes cannot see us.

But God still can.

Shouldn’t that cause us to act differently.

But we don’t.

Do we rest in the promise of grace so much that we use grace as a crutch to do what we want?

But grace shouldn’t be used as a get out of jail free card. It should be a cherished present we want to keep in pristine condition.

But sadly, we don’t.

But the interesting thing about God is even when we are at our worst He loves us more than anyone else would ever love us at our best.

So if you feel like you’re failing…it is okay.

He still loves you despite your failure.

And when you pick yourself up and move on He still loves you the same.

May we learn to know our worth in the eyes of God. Because at the end of the day His opinion matters more than your gossiping friend.

Peace

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Travel…Can We Really Do It Soon?

COVID has many downsides. I think we could all list multiple things of great importance which have been hampered because of the pandemic. And I feel silly for missing something so trivial in the grand scheme of life.

But can we travel soon?

I love to travel. I love to see new places. Experience new sights. Walk in mazy streets and get lost in the beauty of the unknown. Taste new desserts that I’ve only seen on television. Photograph and share memories for friends and family.

Travel isn’t just a vacation. It’s a lifestyle.

Yes, my lack of travel shouldn’t cause a low since I have seen so many places so far, but it really has.

Last year my trip to Iceland and California were cancelled early during the pandemic so I didn’t even bother planning something else to do. I didn’t try to find somewhere else to go, because I was afraid of getting more hopes dashed.

I have the privilege of taking my niece anywhere she wants to go if she promises to go to college. Favorite Uncle award…nay…they probably love Brent more.

I took my first niece to London, Paris and Ireland. A trip I will never forget.

Now my second niece graduated from high school last year, but COVID stopped our trip last year to California.

But this year is going to be different. Or so I hoped. I booked a flight for us to go to Amsterdam a couple of months ago. I came across a cheap flight and jumped on it.

I was hopeful. But still hesitant.

I haven’t planned anything yet. Except for the flight. No hotels have been picked out. No train rides. No excursions or cities to explore.

It has been a mundane hope of going to Amsterdam.

But yesterday my hope exploded like a firework.

The EU is planning to open up Europe for U.S. travel.

That phrase was music to my ears.

I texted my family and they are already getting excited. This is the first time I’m traveling with both my sisters and niece and mom.

5 of us are going…4 women and me.

What have I gotten myself into?

But I won’t fear what may happen. I’m going to be hopeful that the next few months will go smoothly. No drama will rise. We will get along. And will have another memory filled trip with the ones I love.

Here is to Amsterdam. I guess I need to start learning some Dutch.

Vrede (or Peace in English)

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Know Us By…Hate?

We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord

We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord

And we pray that our unity will one day be restored

And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love

Yeah they’ll know we are Christians by our loveWe will work with each other, we will work side by side

We will work with each other, we will work side by side

And we’ll guard each man’s dignity and save each man’s pride

And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love

Yeah, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.

Father Peter Scholtes

It seems this hymn isn’t true anymore. And that is sad.

I don’t see people posting how loving Christ followers are. I don’t see stories on the news that are heartwarming of the Church. I don’t see encouraging words from nonbelievers.

Are people blinded to the sentiments of love?

Or are we blinded to our own failures as the body of Christ?

We can point blame and say they are haters…but are we blameless in their assumptions?

If you get angry over these comments you may actually be the reason why people say we are not loving. Do you see that?

When I see someone posting about Christians being bigoted, hateful, judgmental, sadly, I can nod my head in agreement. Because some Christians are that.

There are some people who say they believe in Christ, but I’m also one of those people who want to ask but do you follow Him?

It causes my head to spin hearing people say backhanded remarks…and saying it with a Godly smile.

I wish we could live in a world where everyone can get along. But before that miracle happens, I wish Christians could all live like Christ told us to live. I wish Christians could rise up and show the world unity and love.

I wish Christians could actually do what we sing about on Sundays.

And I really wish they would know us by our love. Maybe the world will see it eventually. But the change has to start with each of us first. And changing ourselves may be the hardest one to change.

But I think it’s worth trying.

Peace

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The Inconvenience of Death

Death can be so inconvenient.

You try to live and love.

It comes and interrupts.

And what do I know? What do I know?

Sara Groves

Something tragic happened yesterday. I was having lunch with my family and talking about the usual things. My mom was telling me about my cousin who wasn’t feeling well, but I didn’t think it was serious. People get sick and people get well.

Then a few hours later I get a phone call. She had passed away.

Numb. I was just numb.

I went and visited some family last night and they were grieving and talking. Shock and bewilderment covered each of their faces.

We are not guaranteed anything. Nothing is for certain. Not even your next breath.

As I was going to work today Sara Groves song “What Do I Know,” came into my head.

Her painfully honest lyric hit me.

I am going about my life, but people are grieving. People are dying. The world keeps spinning for the majority of the world, but for those few it stopped on a dime.

Death is so convenient.

We can plan for births. We can plan for vacations. We can plan for retirement. But death has its final say because seldom do people get to plan for it.

I know people plan their funerals. Their obituaries. Their tombstone. But their ending is often not planned.

It sounds morbid to schedule your death like an eye appointment. But sadly, many people do know their death day for various reasons. Usually because they decide it’s going to be their last.

That thought saddens me. That people are hurting so much that death is the only way out.

Death may be their want, but for those left behind it is heart wrenchingly inconvenient.

My cousin didn’t choose her death. But her death is still inconvenient.

I would rather go through the rest of the week thinking she was fine. That my loved ones are well. That the weekend would soon be here and I can relax a little.

But now it just feels heavy. A heaviness knowing that life is fragile. A burden that shouldn’t be taken lightly. A struggle to try to make each day count.

Tax season may have been extended for another month, but that doesn’t really matter. Deadlines may be mounting, but there are other things more important. Death is the great equalizer and awakener.

At the end of my life I hope I can say I truly lived. That I made an impact. That the world is a little better because I was on it. I hope my family will smile with stories. I hope my friends will hug their families a little more.

I hope my death will be inconvenient. That may sound gruesome, but sometimes people need hard lessons to learn from. And if I can help someone change their way with my last breath, then it would be worth it. Just not anytime soon hopefully. I’m not ready to be inconvenienced yet either.

On my deathbed I hope I don’t have any regrets. Or ask for my family to tell me my bank balance.

Because when I breathe my last all the money in the world will be meaningless. Just an imaginary number of something that once meant something to me.

But I hope they know they mean more to me than all the money in the world. To me they are my treasure.

Sadly, it takes a death to showcase your priceless possessions.

May we all focus on the important things in life and learn to prioritize what really matters.

Because before you know it…

Peace

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