Eric Suddoth's Blog, page 43

Domino

I am not alone.  You are not alone.  We are not alone.

I used to feel like I was an odd duck – sometimes I still do.  I remember a meeting a few years ago with a group of friends where the topic turned to dreams and goals in life.  As each person around the table spoke it seemed like everyone’s dreams and plans in life were financial in one way or another.  Paying off their credit cards, lowering their debts, not living paycheck to paycheck.  I sat bewildered and saddened for each person.  They were laying their hearts on the table saying these were their dreams and all I could do was inwardly shake my head.  I wanted to smack some sense into my friends.  When my turn came to speak, I ruffled a few feathers.  “Those aren’t dreams.  Those are adult responsibilities.  Yes, it would be good to be debt free, but being debt free isn’t what gets me excited.  I think it is sad that we as adults don’t dream anymore.  Paying off your home isn’t a dream.  That’s just something you have to do.”  A few people at the table looked offended and a few even said, “You’re making me feel bad.”

I returned and said, “I’m not trying to make you feel bad.  I’m just trying to show you that there is so much more to life than this.  As a kid you dreamed.  I hear people saying they wanted to be an astronaut, a marine biologist, or President of the United States, but it seems like as we age, we lose that fire in our bones.  We lose our ability to dream because life happens and you don’t want to look foolish in believing in your dreams.”

Well, I’m here to say, I’m a dreamer.

I’ve learned to not care what people say about me, because at the end of the day…I feel extremely blessed and happy.

I have recently published a book and I have had a surprising outpouring from people opening up their hearts to me.  People have said, “I didn’t know you wrote, because I have been writing for years too.”  Or they will tell me a few of their “wild and crazy” ideas that I then tell them, “Go for it!”  These conversations would never have happened before, but since I took a step out, it has allowed a few other people to dip their toes in the water.  I’m not saying I am leading a charge in the army of dream chasers because I have had many people in my past who have influenced me to take my first step.

We are in a line of dominoes.  I truly believe that actions people made years ago have a trickle down effect and the thing is, they will never know the impact they made by allowing themselves to take that first step.  They may never know how much courage they gave me when they started their blog.  They may not realize I got a little braver when I read their published book.  They may not comprehend the cracks in my doubt they made getting on that cross Atlantic flight.  If the people I look to for encouragement never allowed themselves to be vulnerable, never embraced the unknown, never let their domino crash into mine, I may not have tried something new myself.

So I too came to that fork in the road after years and years of secretly writing.  Do I hold strong from the domino that is pushing against my back?  Or do I let go and fall, possibly impacting someone else to consider the dreams they have?  I fell.

So, this goes out to all the dreamers out there.  We are all connected.  Your dreams are not foolish.  I tend to think that if God gives you a dream, you are special.  He’s giving you a dream because He knows you can do it.  The sad thing is, I believe God gives us all many, many passions and dreams to follow…we just deny them.  So, the next time you feel the weight pressing on you, don’t let it rest.  Consider what an awesome opportunity you have been granted.  Out of all the billions of people on this great Earth, He has chosen you.  It’s a humbling thought to consider, but it should also empower you.

It’s been said, think about the person who led Billy Graham to Christ.  They just led one person, but if they had never stepped out and led Billy Graham, he would have never led the millions of people he influenced.  But it can go further back down the line in history. What about the person who led the person who led the person who led the person who led Billy Graham to Christ.  That person in the 1700s probably never imagined their impact.

So this is my plea.  May you not be the last standing domino.

May you fall in faith onto the next domino with bravery and courage.  Who knows the journey that one action may cause.  It may lead to a lifetime of surprises and joy.  Or it may be a short expedition.  Who knows?  Maybe your one step is all that was needed to cause someone else to think, “If they can do that….well, I can too.”  Your tiny step of faith could cause a revolution down the line.

Don’t stop the line of dominoes.

In faith take a chance.

Take a deep breath.

Fall.

Peace my friends

Autumn

I hear so many people say they love autumn.  It’s time for comfy, sweater weather.  Yummy pumpkin spice is sprinkled on everything (which I am not a fan).  Baseball season is winding down and beloved football gearing up.  The scorching humid heat of summer is gone and the frigid frozen nights of winter is still a few months away.  I guess autumn gives us some steadiness.  It is a period of transition that we can regroup and reflect.  Yes, it seems like autumn is the favorite season for a majority of people.  I wonder if God planned it that way?

Life is a cycle of seasons.  We begin with spring – birth.  We learn.  We grow.  We weather storms that will either break us or make us stronger.  We mend.  We hopefully learn from the storms.  We hopefully grow some more.  Within this season, there could be multiple cycles of lessons and growth.

Spring then cycles into summer.  Summer can be two-fold.  It can be a time of enjoyment of playing in the sun like a kid.  Catching lightning bugs in the evenings.  Dining at picnic tables with family and friends.  Sitting on the front porch with a nice glass of iced lemonade.  These are the good times of summer.  But summer can also be a time of pain.  A season of desert dryness.  The suns unrelenting violent rays beating down on ones back.  Your dry tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth, begging for just a drop of water.  Swarms of mosquitoes feasting on any open skin they can find.  To me, summer is a glimpse of the best and worst of our life in faith.  We have the moments with God that are pure joy – the mountaintop moments.  We have the moments when we feel like we are deserted – wandering in the wilderness.  It is interesting how in a split second summer can turn from joy to pain, just like in life.

Summer then cycles into autumn.  The harshness of summer is but a memory.  Just as the good times of summer are a memory.  I always think that one of God’s greatest gifts He ever gave is our memory.  If you read the Psalms, the writers are constantly singing praises of what God had done in the past.  It’s like they are constantly having to remind themselves of the great things God had accomplished.  “Hey, remember when God split the Red Sea and we were free?  Remember when we crossed over the Jordan?  Remember when manna fell from the heavens and we were never hungry?  Remember?  Remember?  Remember?”  Without our memories we couldn’t look back and see traces of God in our lives when we went through something painful.  I know when I go through trials, I cling to the memories I have when God was faithful.  It reminds me that if God was faithful then, He will be faithful again.  This is why I like autumn.  Autumn gives us a time to breathe.  Take in what we have been through and figure out where to go next.  Autumn is like a rest stop for future endeavors.  Farmers work hard all summer long tending their crops, but in autumn they get to reap the rewards for what they have sown.  Autumn is the time that we can look back and be thankful for the many blessings we have received.  Some may say they don’t have anything to be grateful for, but as a friend pointed out to me when you start to say thank you to God for every little thing you will realize how blessed you are.  You may think it is foolish to thank God for the air you breathe, but if you didn’t have that next breath of oxygen you wouldn’t be here anymore.  We are so blessed…the real question may be, do you feel blessed?  If you don’t, why?

Lastly, autumn cycles into winter.  We all know winter is the time of death.  Tree limbs are bare.  Plants wither and die.  Birds fly south to warmer weather.  Animals (us included) hibernate, dreaming of better days.  Yes, winter is a bleak, bleak season blanketed in layers of snow and ice.  It is a season of no growth…or is it?  I like to think it is a season of no visible growth.  You may not see leaves sprouting on a tree, but the roots…the roots are growing stronger in the soil.  Without strong roots the new growth that will come in the spring would not last.  The same can be said about us.  Winter is a time to lean into the warmth of God when we can’t find the warmth ourselves.  It is a time to cling onto his promises, even when you can’t see how it’s going to work.  It is a time to dream, because with God all things are possible.  Some could find little hope in a season of death, but I find great hope in this season because after every winter there is always the hope of a spring.  The night is always the darkest before the dawn.  Winter may be the darkest moments in life, but without tasting the bitterness life has to offer us, we can never truly taste the goodness and sweetness.  If you have never tasted salt, would you know how sweet sugar is?  “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”  Winter may be painful, but it is a time of healing and rest.

One of my favorite lines from the band Switchfoot is “The shadows proves the sunshine.”  When you see a shadow it only proves that there is light somewhere.  You may not see the light, but it is there.  You can try to deny the light, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  The song concludes,

“Yeah, yeah, shine on me – shine on me – let my shadows prove the sunshine”

As you go through the seasons, no matter which season is your favorite, may your shadows prove the source of your light.  We are not the light of the world.  We are merely shadows of the Light of the World.  May you enjoy this autumn season.  A time to reflect on the wonder of God.  A time of thanksgiving for all the blessings you have.  Next time you put on your sweatshirt and smell the warmth of your cup of pumpkin chai latte, reflect a little.  Who knows what you may find in that still moment.

Confession

I have a confession to make.  I have recently published a murder mystery, “Solomon’s Dream – The Hunting at Huntington” about a duo killing retirement aged tourists in Washington D.C. and the first victims in the book are none other than….my parents.

Yes, I killed off my parents in my book.

I love my parents, but a few years ago I took them to Washington D.C. and I watched on the subways how my mother would interact with passengers.  She is very personable. Making eye contact with fellow passengers.  Starting up conversations with small kids.  I watched how she could sit on a train of strangers yet feel comfortable to give a kind word.  Once again, I love my mother, but in the book, the killers prey upon kind people.

I actually wrote the chapter of their deaths a few hours after returning home from our vacation.  After a week with them, I had some good insight on how a murderer would seek them out.  It really was a good vacation and I never wanted to kill my parents during this trip contrary to popular thought.  Some would say that idea is creepy, but I think they should feel privileged they are in my book.

So, I love you mom, I am sorry that I killed you off, but thank you for being the inspiration of “The Hunting at Huntington.”  (This was the exact subway station we went to everyday to catch our train from Alexandria, Virginia to Washington D.C.)

Peace friends

Bread, We Are

In the movie, American Sweethearts, Julia Roberts (Kiki) and John Cusack (Eddie) dig deep into the philosophy of dreams and bread.

Kiki – No, I don’t eat bread.  I just dream about bread.

Eddie – Bread represents something you want but can’t have.  What do you think?

Kiki – Well, I think that when I dream about bread…

Eddie – That would represent…

Kiki – Bread.

Kiki dreamed about bread, but what do you dream about?  Is there something that you desire?  Something that keeps you restless and on edge of wanting to step out and take a chance?  An idea or notion that takes residence in your dreams?

This weekend I went on a retreat and one of the speakers said something that I had never heard…maybe I’m the last one to hear this.

We are the living communion of Christ.  We are the bread.

Matthew 26:26 reads, “As they were eating, Jesus took some bread and blessed it.  Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples.”

In this passage there was four things that Jesus did with the bread:

He chose the bread
He blessed the bread
He broke the bread
He gave away the bread

Just as Jesus chose the bread, He chose you.  Do you believe that?  That the Creator of the universe, the Maker of the lilies in the field and the sparrows flying over head, chose you before the beginning of time?  He chose you to be who you are.  He chose you to enjoy the things you love, be inspired by the things that get you excited, and do the things that you dream about.  He put a plan, a dream, a purpose, an idea in each one of us and each one is as unique as we are.  He crafted you with your abilities, skills, passions to fulfill that dream.  He chose you to fulfill that dream.  He chose you and only you to do it.

Then Jesus blessed the bread, just as He blessed you.  He anointed you with the Holy Spirit to accomplish your dream.  Maybe he blessed you with the education you will need to conquer that idea.  Maybe he blessed you with the passion that burns in your bones with your idea.  Maybe he blessed you with the family, friends and divine appointments to help pursue your purpose.  I could go on and on with the outpouring of his blessings, but the fact is if God chose you for something He will provide you a way.  He wouldn’t give you a path to travel without giving you the tools and necessities you would need.  He blessed you so you and only you could achieve that dream.

Then Jesus broke the bread, just as He breaks you.  This is a hard one to hear.  I don’t like to think of the times in my life that were hard with trials and pain as a period of breaking me.  I prefer to hear of the times when God protects and loves me with his mercy.  People say that God must prune us or refine us to get us where we need to be.  It sounds good in theory…but it is so hard in practice.  If you prune the dead off of a rose bush new growth will come.  If you melt some dirty golden rocks the gold will become purer.  Even though I know new growth may come, I still don’t want to be pruned.  Even though I know I may be cleaner and closer to God, I still don’t want to be refined.  It’s hard to see the good in something when you are being cut or burned.  It’s hard to remember that through the pain, good things will come.  It’s hard to count it joy when you’re counting down to the finish.  This is hardest step in the process for me.  I would rather sit and ponder how God chose me and blessed me than allow him to break me.  But I know, no matter how much I grit my teeth and dig in my heels to stay in the safe and familiar, I know I need to surrender to Him.  It’s then in the time of surrender that I know I will be broken.  But I would rather be broken by His merciful and tender hands than be broken by someone who just wants to inflict pain.  When I surrender to His will, I know His plan is so much better than mine.  His plan gives hope and a future.  His plan is good.  When I am being broken, He will use this to help me in the future.  Yet, when I am being broken, I know He is there and will use it to help with my future.

Lastly, Jesus gave away the broken bread, just as we are asked to share our stories of brokenness.  Everyone has a story to tell – everyone.  Everyone loves to tell stories of success and finish lines crossed to their friends and family recounting the feelings and emotions felt when it was over.  Yet when I look back, the times when I bonded with someone or some group the most is when someone told another story – their story of brokenness.  It takes a strong person to be vulnerable and show their hurts and wounds.  The strange thing is, usually when one person opens up and shares a tough time in their life, everyone can relate.  Then like toppling domino’s another person would share a story, and then another, and another.  It’s because we all have a story to tell.  So often we post on social media lives we “photoshop” to show the best pieces of ourselves.  The best photos, the best lines and sayings, the best times.  I’m not saying these posts are bad or that we need to post our deepest wounds on Facebook.  I think God wants us to be willing to tell our stories of brokenness at the right time, in the right way to point the way to Him.  We all have these stories in our memories bank.  Those moments of brokenness were not in vain.  Maybe those moments were had for the sole purpose of sharing the stories and seeing how you survived.  Maybe by sharing your story, you will in turn hear a story that will help you along your way?

So, be the bread that Christ calls us to be.  Remember that you are chosen, you are blessed, you are broken and you are given away.  Next time you take communion, maybe you can look at that piece of bread a little differently.  I know I will.

Peace

Firsts

Why is firsts accompanied with dread?  Maybe it’s because as I sit here and think the primary rhyming word of firsts that popped into my mind was “Worsts.”  We hear horrific tales of first dates as we sit around a dinner table with friends and laugh of the “Worst” first date experiences as we each try to top the last one.  We look back at the awkwardness of first days of a new school with butterflies in our stomach, first days in a new city with butterflies flying, and first days of a new job with butterflies still flapping.  The same blasted butterflies fluttering about nervously, except as we age, their wings just get a little grayer.  One would think that these butterflies would have eventually died off from all the carbonation that we drink.  But sadly, those little rascals keep us all rattled on our firsts no matter our age.

I wonder, maybe God planned it that way?  Maybe God created us with that human inner spirit of timidity.  When we are afraid we need a hero.  We need someone to run to when the boogie man is stirring in the closet.  We need a friend that we can sit down with at lunchtime and spill our guts with the mistakes we made before lunch.  We need that confidant that will tell us to lift up our heads and keep moving forward even when the hurdles seem too high.  We all need that on our first days when it seems like everything that can go wrong, does.

But the thing is, we with our finite human nature of flaws and imperfections can never truly overcome these feelings of insecurities and doubt on our own, we need that hero.  It says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.”  You may think, is he contradicting himself when he just said maybe God created us with a human inner spirit of timidity, but just quote scripture that says God does not give us a spirit of timidity?  What I am meaning is when God created each and every one of us He purposely left something out that only He can fill.  Plumb sings, “There is a God-shaped hole in all of us, a hole that only He can fill.”  He can only fill us up with His power, love and self-discipline when we acknowledge we are missing it.  He will only anoint us with his power when we finally ask him for it.  He the hero that we need.  He is the hero that is always there.  He is the hero that will never leave.

When I’m relying on my own strength and knowledge to get me through my firsts, I may be able to make it through the day, but it may be rough.  But if I rely on the Creator for His strength, He will give me power that is undeniable.  When we seek Him first in our first moments, He will be faithful through those moments.  They may be hard, but Christ never said “Follow me and I will give you an easy life.”  No, He never said those words.  The only thing that He promised is that we would never go alone.

So, maybe God created us with that weakness so that we would lean a little more into Him in those first moments.  So, next time you face something new, a challenge, an obstacle, a crisis – where are you going to turn?  You don’t have to go through it alone.   And you were never meant too.

First doesn’t have to be a scary word.  It was never intended to be.  It’s all about perspective.  Those butterflies in your stomach could be swarming, not out of nervousness and anxiety, but out of excitement and happiness that you finally took that first step.  Give those butterflies a reason to flap their wings with joy.  What butterfly would like to live its entire life at the bottom of your stomach waiting for the moment to spread its wings and fly.  Go on.  Let ’em fly!

Peace Friends

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Every beginning has a mixture of emotions.  You have the highs of dreaming of the endless possibilities, yet you have the lows of imminent failure around the bend.  You hear the words of encouragements from friends and family, but you also hear the echoes of doubts from yourself.  Yes, if the beginnings were easy, everyone would have a new beginning each day – some may think that each morning is a new beginning, but if you cycle into what you did yesterday, it’s not a new beginning…it’s a continuation of the old.  A beginning is a new start.  A first step in an unfamiliar path.  A first bite of something fresh and new.  You may taste bitterness, but you may taste sweet.  You never know until you take that first bite.  It may be intimidating to start something new, but you can face that fear.  Fear is just self-doubt clothed in costumes of what you think you think.  So, why not start a new journey.  A journey you have been dreaming about for years.  If you trip and fall, at least you tried.  I have a motto I’ve been telling myself for years, “Take a chance, for a life without chances will still end in death.”  Don’t live a safe life of no chances.  Think of all the possibilities you would miss out on.  The biggest regret people always have is not trying something new.  So, why not nix one of the possible deathbed regrets by trying something new.  It could be a small thing.  Just as Rome wasn’t built in a day, don’t try to change everything in one day.  Life is full of steps.  So, at the end of the day who cares the size of the step that was taken today.  The main thing is a step was taken.  You could be one step further than you were yesterday.  Peace Friends.