Donavon Roberson's Blog, page 6

What is your 2021 Focus?

It’s the start of the New Year, actually a few days in but there is no time like the present. We all know what that means; it’s the time that we focus on what we want this year - lose weight, get fit, save more money, get serious about our dreams, develop deeper relationships, etc. 

This is one of those posts…and the funny thing is that I started to do this last year and stopped. Last year was a hard year for me. Quite frankly, it was a hard year for all of us. I can’t help but laugh but I made two posts last year and then stopped…and honestly I stopped because I gave up on so many things.

Here is a little review of last year, just to give some context (not excuses):

I started the new year having made the decision to take a year without God. (lots about that to come later) I went into the year without a job, found a job and then was laid off within the first two months.We were trying to settle into a new apartment, in a new state and in a new city…and didn’t really know anyoneWe were going through a really rough custody and relocation battle for my little guys…a battle that we ended up losingCOVID hit and shut everything down and caused so much chaos for everyoneOur Nation went through a horrific election season full of some of the most immature and nonsensical actions by our “leaders”, a divisive uprising of racism and economic uncertainty that left so many unable to pay bills and provide for their families…all of which hit closer to home than I anticipated.

And this was just the tip of the ice-burg…just like everyone else!

I say it was hard but the truth is that it was one of the greatest development and growth years that I have ever had in my life. I learned how to function without the toxicity of religious oppression, I learned to dig deep and uncover what is most important to and then work hard for it, I learned to step back and elevate others in my life, I learned how to set boundaries by removing hurtful relationships and interactions, and much more that I hope to unpack in my blog over the coming months.

So what does all of this mean for now? I really want to write this year.
I want to write about my 2021 Focus.
I want to write about my year without God.
I want to write my new book…The Heart of the Dreamer! 
Simply put…I want to write! 

All of that said, I am going to start with my 2021 Focus. I started a practice several years ago of choosing 3 words and focusing on those words in my life and this year…I am really excited about where my focus will take me this year!

The funny thing is that last year, even though I didn’t write about it beyond the first few blog posts, my focus was on PRESENCE, PEACE and POWER. Truthfully I didn’t think about those words much last year BUT I did see those words come to life throughout the year…I am excited to see what happens when I focus on my 2021 words throughout the next few months!

So here we go, my #2021Focus Words are around helping me experience WHOLEHEARTED Living (thanks to Brene Brown for the inspiration):

COURAGECONNECTIONSC(K)INDESS

The attributes that will take all of this to another level for me are:

VULNERABLELOVEBELONGING

I am going to write about this over the coming months in a big way because I am really excited about some amazing breakthroughs that I have had recently.

Here are two things I commit to with my writing over the coming months (and I ask that anyone reading this hold me to it):

I will write often; maybe not everyday but at least once a weekI will be authentic; I am tired of holding back but also sharing too much and will share as much as I am able in a way to heal and grow

So here we go…my #2021Focus Starts with laying it out on the table, clearing the air and hopefully setting a foundation for an amazing year of personal growth and development! 

Why are my feet so cold?

When was the last time you were “present”?

I am talking about the last time you fully engaged with your reality and surroundings and identified things as they are…without judgement.I mean the last time you sat still, quieted your mind, your heart, your intentions and focused one “what is” “as is” without putting effort into understanding why, what and how.

I had the chance to do this today and had another amazing breakthrough.

Today I finished my workout and sat in the steam room…meditating.

I focused on my breaths…again 4 count in, hold for 2, 4 count out and hold for 2.

After a few times of this, my mind and heart were quieted enough for me to move to the next step…focus on presence. I like to focus on my focus words in order to get the most out of them and to make the actionable.

How do I choose which word? I run through them all and engage with the once that feels right…today it is presence. So I kept repeating that word as I sat in the steam, focusing on my breath and allowing every thought to pass by without engaging.

If you are new to meditation, that last part of the process is key. I don’t try to fight the thoughts that come through any more, I accept my thoughts as they are and for what they are and then let them pass by. This helps to get me into a focused state quickly and without much effort.

Presence.

The definition of presence: “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.”

Presence is the the fact of existing.

As I focused on being present, I focused on what was occurring around me, what sensations were existing in my space.

So there I was:

listening to the sound of steam blowing into the roomfeeling the warmth of the steam as it engulfed the roomfeeling the cold of the tile under my feetfeeling the cold of the tile on which I was sittingfeeling the discomfort in my back and shoulders from my workoutfeeling the sweat droplets pool up on my skinfeeling the air enter my nostrils and into my lungs

and then I felt something “odd”…a cold breeze across my feet.

Immediately, as if on queue, my mind raced to judgment; why are my feet so cold, where is the breeze coming from, what was it here, what do I do to get rid of it and so on.

In an effort to understand our reality, we often miss the exact nature of said reality because  we jump to judgement so quickly.

In that moment I decided to not make judgments on the cold air but to get accept it. Period. There was a cold breeze on my feet. Period.

Now that I accepted my reality I then realized that I didn’t care for my reality and I could take action. I didn’t like the cold on my feet…so I had to get higher. I stood up, got on the top most seat, crossed my legs and continued to meditate and focus on presence.

And in that moment if felt the next of my three words, I felt peace. I was simply there with no need of trying to figure anything out or make sense of anything that was going on in life. In the moment that I was fully present by accepting the fact of my existence I experienced peace.

And then it hit me…the distinct connection between presence and peace is exactly what hit me yesterday - integrity. To find true peace in life, one must start by facing the present moment with honesty and integrity, without judgment and accepting the fact of existence.

That is where I am going to go tomorrow…but for now I am going to fully engage in this moment and experience the fact of existence as is with no  judgement!

What is your “word” for the year? Here are mine...all three of them!

I don’t know about you but I do this every year but this year has been a little more difficult and has taken more time than I anticipated.

So let me back up…

Several years ago I started the practice of identifying three words that I want to focus on in the upcoming year and then putting my effort and energy into living those words out all year long. I have heard that several people do this as well but only focus on one word (not three as I am suggesting).

I don’t know if there is a right way and a wrong way…the goal is simply to put your focus on something and living from that place throughout the year.

So a few weeks ago I came up with three words:

PersistencePeacePower

As I have been meditating on these words, I have really struggled with persistence. It just didn’t feel right. I invite those that I am coaching to “try it on and see if it fits”, so that is what I was doing. I spoke it out loud. I meditated on it. I imagined myself living it out this year…nothing I did felt right.

So maybe the word wasn’t right.

Today I was trying out a new meditation technique focused on breathing. I was counting my breaths and thought “what I use my words instead” … so I started breathing in and out and focusing on my words, when it struck me “I need to focus on being in the moment. I need to focus on now. I need to focus on being more…present.”

So the word became presence and then everything started to fall into place. I could see the various relationships at play and how these words truly are what I need this year. I have focused on action words so much in the past that I am constantly forward thinking. While focusing on the future has proven to be helpful, it has also had a dark underbelly that I wasn’t expecting. I became very disjointed with reality and started judging life on the “holy trinity of regret”; the woulda, shoulda and coulda of life. 

This year I want to focus on right here, right now. I want to get very comfortable with things as they are, interact with them from a place of truth and radical acceptance. I want to stop being so forward thinking that I forget to take in life where it is and as it is.

This year I am going to focus on presence which leads to peace and then ultimately to power. I don’t know exactly how it all unfolds BUT I want to unpack that in this blog as I interact with each word and take their meaning to heart more and more each day.

This is going to be an exciting year…and for me it starts by focusing on this present moment, breathing it in fully and experiencing life at a whole new level.

This blog will start to get crowded with images, videos, musing and posts about the journey that I am on. I hope you join me. I hope you interact with me. I hope that it inspires you to step out and do something great with your life this year.

Time for a gut check...how’s your core?

What do you think of when I say core?

I’m talking about the core of your business. How is your core?

What is your core? That is really where you need to start. 

Identifying your core is vital to building a successful business. Often companies start out with a product or service that they are sure customers need, they start marketing and selling the product and their business takes off!

(I am definitely oversimplifying this process…just bear with me!)

At some point, the company grows and needs to add more people…so they hire more employees to do the work of growing the business!

With growth comes the need for process, systems and some semblance of a manifesto for how everyone will work together to continue to grow the business!

You are now on the road to developing a company culture! Congratulations, you’ve made it! You’ve arrived! You are now able to sit at the grown-up table.

Then it happens, the company begins to hit a growth trajectory that moves it from a startup of family, friends are raving fans…it now moves into the stage where customers start to expect more. They expect more from you, from your products and from your service. And most businesses do exactly what is expected… “everything it can to achieve customer obsession and customer delight to drive revenue and keep the company moving forward.”

Hear me out, there is nothing wrong with being obsessed with customer service or customer success BUT it shouldn’t start when things start to break down (because they will), it has to start with the product or service being offered.

I have seen this so many times, with so many startups and small businesses: customers become unhappy because their expectations aren’t met and so the company goes into “fix it” mode, trying to fix the problem with the customer. 

Think of the time, effort and energy spent to help the customer keep something they don’t want. This time, effort and energy directly impact the bottom line. Think of the resources used to retain customers who are dissatisfied with the product or service they received because the expectation of what they were sold doesn’t match the reality of what they experienced.

The meetings to figure out what went wrongThe free offerings to make the customer happyThe discounts offered to hope they come back and purchase againThe involvement of staff at all levelsThe negative word of mouth marketing from the customerThe PR efforts to regain the customer’s trust in the company

That’s a huge toll on company profits and all the while these efforts focus on fixing something that should probably have never been broken, to begin with.

The mistake businesses make is that they incorrectly assume that the responsibility to fix what’s broken this lies within the customer success organization, when in fact it should be a collaboration of departments and a leveraging of the power core of the business; Sales and Marketing, Operations and Logistics and Customer Support and Retention.

True “customer obsession” takes place when there is a “locking of arms” with the power core in order to better understand why the expectations of the customer are not being met and then create a plan to fix it. 

The fix comes by meeting the “customer expectations” and those expectations are the following “core elements of the business”:

Value Proposition
Market Presence
Customer Promise

Customer obsession is the glue that brings these all together.

Think about it, if the product team is successful at creating products that match the value proposition, then content and marketing can create an authentic marketplace presence to attract new and existing customers and the sales and service teams can deliver on the customer promise.

If you find yourself in the stage of business where you feel that everything is broken and your spending too much time, effort and energy trying to win back customers that aren’t happy with your product or service…I recommend that you take a step back and check out your core.

Something at the core could be broken. 

Demonstrate customer obsession by bringing the stakeholders together, getting to the core of the problem and creating a fix that truly benefits the customer and meets their expectations.

Come Out From the Shadows

I know it’s a dark picture. I know it’s hard to see. I am sure there is more to this room than meets the eye. That’s the point.

I was on The Pirates of the Carribean this recently and really struck with this reality; we are only able to see what Disney wants us to see and a great deal has to do with lights and shadows.

We do the same thing in life…others in our lives see only that which we allow them to see and a great deal of this has to do with lights and shadows.

Follow me for a bit…there are several areas of life that we hide. We hide it for many reasons (shame, pain, regret, fear, etc) but whatever the reason you can be sure that we hide it because we are trying to protect ourselves. I think that many of us have gotten so used to hiding these areas of our lives that we have almost convinced ourselves that they don’t exist. Almost.

We get used to living in the shadows of life, only seeing and experiencing the life that is expected or acceptable. We go through life setting up a reality that others can see and accept…we live a Fakebook life. We use light and shadows to show people what we want them to see and we use light and shadows to hide what we don’t what others to see.

While this works to create a magical experience at Disneyland, I don’t think this is the best way to live our lives…it creates a fake and inauthentic life.

Please hear me, there is nothing wrong with Facebook or social media but I really question so much of what I see people post. People spend a lot of money on professional photography to take pictures of a life that they want others to see. Companies spend thousands of dollars on apps that allow you to edit, crop, adjust and transform your pictures and videos. Think about it; How many pictures do you take until you get one that “works”? How many times do you stop a “crazy” situation to take a picture and post in order to show how awesome things are in the moment? What would happen if you posted the first photo, without editing or adjusting? What would happen if people saw your life as it is, without any need for shadows or mood lighting?

Ok…I am not a “speaker for humanity” so let me just speak for me.

I have spent much of my life hiding in the shadows. I have spent much of my life only showing people what I want them to see. I have spent a great deal of time using light and shadows to only show you the best parts of my life and hide the dark parts of my life. I have spent much of my life feeling like I don’t measure up. I have spent much of life feeling like I haven’t accomplished anything worth sharing or talking about. I have spent so much of my life afraid that if others find out who I really am…I will be exposed as a fraud.

I have never hidden the fact that I have struggled. I have never hidden the fact that I have hurt others made mistakes in life. But I have never really embraced that reality as a strength in my life…I have spent much of my life feel like a fake or phony even when I am being open and honest.

Much of my life I have felt like an imposter.

The Impostor Syndrome is a psychological pattern where the individuals doubt their own accomplishments and they carry around within them a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds.

For some of us, that is a scary place and the thought of coming out of the shadows and being authentic and real in front of others creates all kinds of anxiety and fear that is almost debilitating.

It’s time to come out of the shadows!

It’s time to live life out loud! It’s time to live life to the fullest! It’s time to take the courage to be vulnerable and be honest with ourselves and with others!

Who among us is perfect? Who among us is without “sin”? Who among us doesn’t feel regret, shame or insecure at times?

That’s what makes us human! So let’s together make the courageous decision to stop living in the shadows, to stop feeling like an imposter or a fake, to embrace our strength and the reality that all of the adversity in life makes us all stronger!

Dare to come out of the shadows and live your true, authentic life today.

Where is your focus?

What you focus on expands.

In a team meeting yesterday we talked about morale and how things were going in the department, and in the company as a whole, and what we might be able to do to turn things around. We threw out several ideas; team building events, team breaks to the local coffee shop, happy hours, etc.

And then it hit me…

It was a simple thought really. It was so simple that I almost didn’t share it. I was afraid that because it was too easy, others wouldn’t really see the value in it. So I held it in and let the meeting continue. We started talking about other issues and discussed plans and strategies and issues…and all the while this simple thought had taken root and was beginning to grow within my head and heart.

Thinking of all of the items on the issues list, looking at the actions that needed to take place, hearing everyone else talk about all that they were working on…I felt the overwhelm coming on; it was subtle, it was a slow build but the pressure to perform and perform at a high level was starting to take over. And then there was this “idea growing inside me”…there was a lot going on and I started to feel the anxiety build and take over.

It was getting crowded in there…

Right at the moment I felt I was going to take my last breath I decided to focus on the idea for a moment and “see what all the fuss was about” and so I turned my focus to this simple idea and found that it was greater than I could ever have imagined.

At that moment my lungs captured life-giving oxygen molecules that rushed to my body and at that moment a sense of release and peace washed over me. At that moment I found freedom!

At that moment I felt relief!

At that moment I spoke up and shared what had been growing inside of me without fear or hesitation.

What you focus on expands.

It’s a simple truth. It’s a simple idea. It was a simple thought the took root inside me and became larger than life and has now consumed me.

Before you brush over this and move on, consider it for a moment.

What are you focused on?

Some of us focus on what we do. Some of us focus on what we want out of life. Some focus on who is in their life, others focus on who isn’t. Some focus on what others have while others focus on what they don’t have.

What are you focused on and how does this move you?

I realized that I was focused on everything I had to do and felt like I was never going to catch up or get ahead..and that thought moved me to feel insufficient and inadequate. Not a good place to be for me.

Sometimes “doing work” feels like digging a hole that never gets deeper; you shovel and shovel and throw dirt out but the more you throw out, the more dirt there is to dig. I have found that no matter what I do, there is always more to do. I can check every action item on my list and when I wake tomorrow there is always more to do.

At that moment the thought that took over my head and heart was not to simply focus on what I have to do, and not even just what I have done, but how have I grown in the process…even if it is one simple step forward.

In a previous role, we used to look at the 1% growth that happened during that day. Simply put: What is one simple action that you took today to expand your horizon and set you up for growth?

Whatever your focus, are you moving in the direction of personal growth?

My life goal is to be a better version of myself each and every day; no matter how small the step I want to constantly move and better myself.

I have been so focused on what I had to do that missed what I had done.

I have been so focused on who isn’t in my life that I missed who is in my life.

I have been so focused on what I don’t have in life that I missed what I do have and how truly blessed I am to be at this place in my life!

What you focus on expands.

Take time right now to lift your eyes and look around. What do you see? What have you missed in life because your focus has been in the wrong place? What can you focus on right now to move you past the feeling of want, need, regret, or overwhelm?

Reclaim your power by putting your focus on that which expands and fills you with the strength and power for which you were created!

You know what, forget that: reclaim your life by focusing on that which will expand fill YOU…period!

Sometimes it’s not about greatness, it’s about living. Sometimes it’s about taking that one breath that keeps you from drowning in the stuff of life in order to gain the strength to take one more step.

Listen…that idea was small and grew into something huge for me. That simple breath right now may not sound like much but I invite you to take it. Lift your eyes, take that breath, focus on that which fills you…and repeat

That my friend is the real “stuff of life”. Life is meant to be lived. Let’ live it!

"I dare you to move. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to..."

“I dare you to move. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move. I dare you to move. Like today never happened. Today never happened before.”

- Switchfoot: Dare You To Move

Be Still

raisedtowalk:

MRK 4:40 ESV

He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”

I read this today and it was as if I heard Jesus directly ask me the same question. But it isn’t isn’t as if He is asking out of anger but pure love. Almost as if He is saying “Dude this is an awesome ride…what else has to happen in order for your faith to be full and whole? Sure it’s scary. You bet your ass that you are going to have rough times, trials, storms and near death experiences. I never said it would be easy BUT I did say I will be with you as you go through it!”

He has overcome death and the grave. What can we fear? What can stand against us? If we are in Christ and living our lives in an effort to follow Him and make Him Lord of our lives…then what can stop us? Nothing! We are His and we are in the palm of His hands!

We need to look back at all that God has done in our lives and see His mighty hand at work…and realize that He has been faithful and will continue to be faithful in our lives. He adds a little more all the time and never gives us more than we can handle. If you are going through it.. then know that God is you and will walk through it with you.

He didn’t leave the boat. He didn’t leave the disciples. He didn’t let them drown. He didn’t let the storm get out of control. He was with them the whole time.

Peace. BE STILL. He will heal us and finish the good work that He started in our hearts! He will never leave us nor forsake us.

I Am His Masterpiece

raisedtowalk:

Psalm 139:13-14 ESV

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

God made us each unique and gave us all of the qualities and characteristics that make us such. We are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Fearfully meaning that we, as His creation, are awe inspiring. Our lives should cause others to stand in astonishment. Our very being should inspire reverence or godly fear in others.

Wonderfully meaning I am unique. I am an individual. I am a one of a kind Masterpiece. I am distinct, distinguished, special.

I can beat myself up everyday over the choices that I have made. I can wallow in self pity or shame until I am covered in it. I can shroud myself in self loathing and anguish over my hang ups AND actually take it all to heart…but that doesn’t negate the fact that I am an original masterpiece of the King of Kings!

My choices are part of the journey, part of the process of making me a one of a kind demonstration of of his greatness. The choices to disobey and go my own wat will only lead to pain and suffering and will require more work to make me more like the Son. My choices to obey and stay on the path He has for me may not be easy and bring pain and suffering as well.

The point is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that God has started a good work in me and will be faithful to complete that work. I need stand back in be inspired by His working in my life because He doesn’t make junk or mistakes. I am His Masterpiece.

Live for Today

raisedtowalk:

Matthew 6:34 ESV

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.“

Early on in Matthew 6 Jesus gives us an example of how to prayer in the Lord’s prayer. In that prayer He talks about God as our Father, the Kingdom being lived out on earth, His provision in our lives, forgiveness of sin and His deliverance. He then talks about some areas of life over which we may be anxious and then hits us with this verse.

To be anxious means to split our attention, it is double minded think that distracts us. In the Lord’s Prayer we are called to focus our thoughts and energies on Kingdom living right now and in the moment….not on the things of tomorrow.

When I worry about tomorrow, I miss the opportunities to experience the Kingdom in my life today. My recovery falls into this same place, when I focus on becoming the man that God has planned for me to and my efforts and energies get lost in the finished product, I miss the simple things that He is doing in my life right now…I miss the miracles of today.

God is faithful and just and will finish the work that He was started in me. Just as He knows my physical needs and will provide them, He knows my spiritual needs and will provide them. I simply need to rest in Him, seek His Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven and honor Him with my life today.