Helen Rich's Blog
June 2, 2014
A Conversation with Bud DeYoung and Cindy Martinusen Coloma, Authors of It’s a Wild Life
Featured on Nat Geo Wild’s My Life Is a Zoo, Bud DeYoung runs a zoo on his own property in the harsh climate of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Along with “Big Cat” Carrie, Bud educates the public about animal conservation and daily doles out love to the hundreds of animals in his care, including Bengal tigers, arctic wolves, and a very hungry hippo named Wallace. With best-selling coauthor Cindy Martinusen Coloma, he’s documented his lifelong journey in It’s a Wild Life: How My Life Became a Zoo, releasing from Medallion Press in June 2014.
Featured on Nat Geo Wild’s My Life Is a Zoo, Bud DeYoung runs a zoo on his own property in the harsh climate of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Along with “Big Cat” Carrie, Bud educates the public about animal conservation and daily doles out love to the hundreds of animals in his care, including Bengal tigers, arctic wolves, and a very hungry hippo named Wallace. With best-selling coauthor Cindy Martinusen Coloma, he’s documented his lifelong journey in It’s a Wild Life: How My Life Became a Zoo, releasing from Medallion Press in June 2014.
Cindy Martinusen Coloma has written twelve novels as well as several nonfiction books and over one hundred published articles, and she’s a speaker and teacher at national and international women’s gatherings, retreats, and writers’ conferences.
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
While I love traveling and discovering different cultures, I’ve lived in the same rural northern California area for over 35 years within 15 miles of my parents, sister, niece and nephew, children, and childhood friends. My five kids range in age from 24 and 1 year (ages 24, 22, 17, 3, 1). Within the same day, I’ll have discussions about dating or college plans while changing a diaper and tripping over toys. It’s never dull.
My husband and I met in the Philippines (where he’s from) at a writers’ conference about ten years ago. He helped me do research for a novel I wrote set in the country, and our friendship obviously developed into more. The intercultural differences have been interesting, challenging at times, and certainly enriching. My new Filipino family are pleased that I like Filipino food, which is a good thing because Filipinos do so love their cuisine and fiestas.
2. What led to your decision to be a writer?
When I was growing up, we had three channels on television and in our neighborhood only one set of friends down our street. My imagination was always zipping with ideas, and books were beloved companions. I would write stories or think them up before going to sleep, but when thinking of what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d say an archaeologist, a teacher, or a film actor, among just a few. Later I discovered that as a writer I walk in the shoes of a widely diverse set of people, personalities, and careers. It’s similar to being an actor playing different roles on the page. In a sense, I get to be everything I wanted to be when I grew up.
3. Tell us what it took to get your first manuscript published.
First, I had years of rejection letters. But I kept writing, studying, learning, attending writers’ conferences, rising above the failures until those rejection letters became a trail of the hard work it takes to reach a goal.
I’d begun dabbling in the career around 1990 while writing plays for my church. I attended my first writers’ conference in 1994 at the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. In 1996, I signed with a literary agent, and two years later, my first novel was contracted and that set me on my publishing journey. Before that, I’d had only a play and a few articles published.
4. What are the three most important things aspiring writers should know about getting their work published?
Three words: read, write, and understand.
Read voraciously to improve your own writing, to be aware of the book industry, and to just love and savor stories.
Write to get the story down (I meet many talented writers who never get a project done), to improve your craft (don’t just write without input or editing help, but keep improving your writing!), and to enjoy the hard but beautiful process of being a creator.
Understand everything about writing, books, and the industry. It’s a changing landscape, so take the time to understand the different aspects, stay on top of what’s happening, network with other writers and publishing people, and be professional about what you are doing. But be flexible in this understanding—writing and publishing are in constant change, especially right now.
5. Aside from writing, what are your hobbies or areas of expertise?
I greatly enjoy traveling both domestically and abroad, though my favorite place is home with family and friends. Films, reading, camping, checking out new lighthouses, and discussing story ideas with my daughter, son, or husband (we do this regularly). I’m also a bit of a foodie and love to eat—and sometimes cook—a finely crafted meal paired with a strong bitter ale or good wine.
6. Where can your fans go to get in touch with you?
I’d love to hear from you!
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @CindyColoma
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/conver...
htt://www.helenrich.com
Featured on Nat Geo Wild’s My Life Is a Zoo, Bud DeYoung runs a zoo on his own property in the harsh climate of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Along with “Big Cat” Carrie, Bud educates the public about animal conservation and daily doles out love to the hundreds of animals in his care, including Bengal tigers, arctic wolves, and a very hungry hippo named Wallace. With best-selling coauthor Cindy Martinusen Coloma, he’s documented his lifelong journey in It’s a Wild Life: How My Life Became a Zoo, releasing from Medallion Press in June 2014.
Cindy Martinusen Coloma has written twelve novels as well as several nonfiction books and over one hundred published articles, and she’s a speaker and teacher at national and international women’s gatherings, retreats, and writers’ conferences.
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
While I love traveling and discovering different cultures, I’ve lived in the same rural northern California area for over 35 years within 15 miles of my parents, sister, niece and nephew, children, and childhood friends. My five kids range in age from 24 and 1 year (ages 24, 22, 17, 3, 1). Within the same day, I’ll have discussions about dating or college plans while changing a diaper and tripping over toys. It’s never dull.
My husband and I met in the Philippines (where he’s from) at a writers’ conference about ten years ago. He helped me do research for a novel I wrote set in the country, and our friendship obviously developed into more. The intercultural differences have been interesting, challenging at times, and certainly enriching. My new Filipino family are pleased that I like Filipino food, which is a good thing because Filipinos do so love their cuisine and fiestas.
2. What led to your decision to be a writer?
When I was growing up, we had three channels on television and in our neighborhood only one set of friends down our street. My imagination was always zipping with ideas, and books were beloved companions. I would write stories or think them up before going to sleep, but when thinking of what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d say an archaeologist, a teacher, or a film actor, among just a few. Later I discovered that as a writer I walk in the shoes of a widely diverse set of people, personalities, and careers. It’s similar to being an actor playing different roles on the page. In a sense, I get to be everything I wanted to be when I grew up.
3. Tell us what it took to get your first manuscript published.
First, I had years of rejection letters. But I kept writing, studying, learning, attending writers’ conferences, rising above the failures until those rejection letters became a trail of the hard work it takes to reach a goal.
I’d begun dabbling in the career around 1990 while writing plays for my church. I attended my first writers’ conference in 1994 at the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. In 1996, I signed with a literary agent, and two years later, my first novel was contracted and that set me on my publishing journey. Before that, I’d had only a play and a few articles published.
4. What are the three most important things aspiring writers should know about getting their work published?
Three words: read, write, and understand.
Read voraciously to improve your own writing, to be aware of the book industry, and to just love and savor stories.
Write to get the story down (I meet many talented writers who never get a project done), to improve your craft (don’t just write without input or editing help, but keep improving your writing!), and to enjoy the hard but beautiful process of being a creator.
Understand everything about writing, books, and the industry. It’s a changing landscape, so take the time to understand the different aspects, stay on top of what’s happening, network with other writers and publishing people, and be professional about what you are doing. But be flexible in this understanding—writing and publishing are in constant change, especially right now.
5. Aside from writing, what are your hobbies or areas of expertise?
I greatly enjoy traveling both domestically and abroad, though my favorite place is home with family and friends. Films, reading, camping, checking out new lighthouses, and discussing story ideas with my daughter, son, or husband (we do this regularly). I’m also a bit of a foodie and love to eat—and sometimes cook—a finely crafted meal paired with a strong bitter ale or good wine.
6. Where can your fans go to get in touch with you?
I’d love to hear from you!
Website
Twitter: @CindyColoma
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/conver...
htt://www.helenrich.com
May 1, 2014
20 Submission Mistakes
There are many resources that provide great advice on making a good first impression when submitting your manuscript to publishers. On the flip side, here are some surefire ways to make a bad impression.
1. Submit your manuscript to a publisher that doesn’t publish that type of book.
2. Address your query to a different publisher.
3. Provide materials that are riddled with grammatical errors.
4. Refer to your book as a “fiction novel.”
5. Refer to your book as a “nonfiction novel.”
6. Compare yourself to Hemingway and misspell his name.
7. Decline the entire editorial process because your manuscript is already perfect.
8. Guarantee that your book will sell 100,000 copies an hour.
9. Declare that your book will make a great movie.
10. Relate how much your friends and family love your story.
11. Describe the writing contest you won when you were nine.
12. List your height, weight, birth date, and hobbies.
13. Mention how many publishers have already rejected your manuscript.
14. Include your critique partner’s tracked changes and comments in the sample chapters.
15. Attach a book cover that you designed yourself.
16. Attach a provocative photo of yourself.
17. If you’re asked to resubmit per the publisher’s guidelines, send your submission back without following those guidelines.
18. Call the publisher for the status of your submission.
19. When your manuscript is rejected, do one or more of the following: insult the publisher, demand an explanation, beg the publisher to reconsider.
20. Resubmit the manuscript a few months after it was rejected. Optional: rename the book in hopes the publisher won’t recognize it.
It’s hard to believe that these blunders were taken from real submissions, but we receive them all the time. Please avoid these kinds of errors and remember that making a good first impression is vital to the success of your writing career.
Visit my website at http://www.helenrich..com
http://medallionmediagroup.com/20-sub...
1. Submit your manuscript to a publisher that doesn’t publish that type of book.
2. Address your query to a different publisher.
3. Provide materials that are riddled with grammatical errors.
4. Refer to your book as a “fiction novel.”
5. Refer to your book as a “nonfiction novel.”
6. Compare yourself to Hemingway and misspell his name.
7. Decline the entire editorial process because your manuscript is already perfect.
8. Guarantee that your book will sell 100,000 copies an hour.
9. Declare that your book will make a great movie.
10. Relate how much your friends and family love your story.
11. Describe the writing contest you won when you were nine.
12. List your height, weight, birth date, and hobbies.
13. Mention how many publishers have already rejected your manuscript.
14. Include your critique partner’s tracked changes and comments in the sample chapters.
15. Attach a book cover that you designed yourself.
16. Attach a provocative photo of yourself.
17. If you’re asked to resubmit per the publisher’s guidelines, send your submission back without following those guidelines.
18. Call the publisher for the status of your submission.
19. When your manuscript is rejected, do one or more of the following: insult the publisher, demand an explanation, beg the publisher to reconsider.
20. Resubmit the manuscript a few months after it was rejected. Optional: rename the book in hopes the publisher won’t recognize it.
It’s hard to believe that these blunders were taken from real submissions, but we receive them all the time. Please avoid these kinds of errors and remember that making a good first impression is vital to the success of your writing career.
Visit my website at http://www.helenrich..com
http://medallionmediagroup.com/20-sub...
January 6, 2014
The ABCs of POVs
Using multiple POVs is a great way to provide your readers with different perspectives on the same story by getting inside the heads of more than one character. But it can also be challenging because there are more factors to take into consideration. Here are a few tips for crafting memorable POVs.
At Medallion we prefer to avoid head hopping—that is, switching POVs in the middle of a scene without a scene break—because we feel that it can disrupt the flow and pull readers out of the story. When you alternate POVs, please consider inserting a dingbat or a chapter break.
POVs need to be distinct. Readers should immediately know which character’s POV they’re in. To distinguish scenes, include your characters’ internal dialogue, outlook, and other traits, and show the kinds of details they notice, their responses to different situations, and how they relate to others.
Avoid inserting adultlike wisdom and reflection into children’s dialogue and thoughts. Their understanding of themselves and the world should match their age and maturity level. Don’t give them outdated or unrealistic viewpoints.
For inspiration, read novels that handle multiple POVs brilliantly, such as A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby and The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/abcs-p...
At Medallion we prefer to avoid head hopping—that is, switching POVs in the middle of a scene without a scene break—because we feel that it can disrupt the flow and pull readers out of the story. When you alternate POVs, please consider inserting a dingbat or a chapter break.
POVs need to be distinct. Readers should immediately know which character’s POV they’re in. To distinguish scenes, include your characters’ internal dialogue, outlook, and other traits, and show the kinds of details they notice, their responses to different situations, and how they relate to others.
Avoid inserting adultlike wisdom and reflection into children’s dialogue and thoughts. Their understanding of themselves and the world should match their age and maturity level. Don’t give them outdated or unrealistic viewpoints.
For inspiration, read novels that handle multiple POVs brilliantly, such as A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby and The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/abcs-p...
December 2, 2013
Keep It Clear with a Style Sheet
Writers, to ensure consistency in your book (or series), prepare a style sheet. Here are the items we recommend including in your style sheet for each book:
Characters’ names. Include their full names (if applicable), physical features, ages, relationships to other characters, and other distinguishing characteristics.
A brief time line. Note the days/times and a brief description of what’s covered in each chapter.
Real names: brands, companies, places, people, etc. (Verify that they’re spelled and capitalized correctly.)
Foreign words and phrases. (Verify that they’re spelled, capitalized, and used correctly.)
Quoted material. (Verify that it’s spelled, capitalized, and credited correctly. Be prepared to pay licensing fees, if applicable.)
Intentional exceptions to grammar or spelling rules. (Here at Medallion, we rely on Chicago Manual of Style and Merriam-Webster.)
Habit words and phrases. (Try to reduce these.)
Your style sheet will help you clear up the details of your manuscript. The end result will be a more inviting world for your readers to dive into.
Happy editing!
Visit my website at: http://www.helenrosburg.com
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/clear-...
Characters’ names. Include their full names (if applicable), physical features, ages, relationships to other characters, and other distinguishing characteristics.
A brief time line. Note the days/times and a brief description of what’s covered in each chapter.
Real names: brands, companies, places, people, etc. (Verify that they’re spelled and capitalized correctly.)
Foreign words and phrases. (Verify that they’re spelled, capitalized, and used correctly.)
Quoted material. (Verify that it’s spelled, capitalized, and credited correctly. Be prepared to pay licensing fees, if applicable.)
Intentional exceptions to grammar or spelling rules. (Here at Medallion, we rely on Chicago Manual of Style and Merriam-Webster.)
Habit words and phrases. (Try to reduce these.)
Your style sheet will help you clear up the details of your manuscript. The end result will be a more inviting world for your readers to dive into.
Happy editing!
Visit my website at: http://www.helenrosburg.com
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/clear-...
November 4, 2013
Writing an Effective First Scene
When crafting your novel, you may find that the first pages you write aren’t where your story really begins. Here are some tips to help you choose and polish an effective first scene.
Good first scenes include . . .
· One distinctive point of view through which readers can experience the scene.
· Conflict: something real at stake.
· Hooks: story questions that pull the reader from the first sentence on and from each paragraph to the next.
· A resolution and a new hook into the next scene.
· Clear, concise sentences.
· The protagonist’s ultimate need: a hint at the resolution of the novel.
Good first scenes don’t include . . .
· A protagonist who’s confused about what’s going on.
· Characters in harmony, a lone character simply thinking, or a dream sequence. (No real stakes.)
· Info dumps: characters or a narrator summarizing what happened offscreen.
· Only unanswered questions and unresolved conflict.
· Complex, overwritten sentences. Unnecessary descriptors, repetition, redundancies, or clichés.
· Unclear character motivation.
After you’ve polished your first scene, see how many of these concepts you can apply to the rest of your manuscript.
We look forward to reviewing your work.
All best,
The Editors
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/writin...
http://www.helenrosburg.com
Good first scenes include . . .
· One distinctive point of view through which readers can experience the scene.
· Conflict: something real at stake.
· Hooks: story questions that pull the reader from the first sentence on and from each paragraph to the next.
· A resolution and a new hook into the next scene.
· Clear, concise sentences.
· The protagonist’s ultimate need: a hint at the resolution of the novel.
Good first scenes don’t include . . .
· A protagonist who’s confused about what’s going on.
· Characters in harmony, a lone character simply thinking, or a dream sequence. (No real stakes.)
· Info dumps: characters or a narrator summarizing what happened offscreen.
· Only unanswered questions and unresolved conflict.
· Complex, overwritten sentences. Unnecessary descriptors, repetition, redundancies, or clichés.
· Unclear character motivation.
After you’ve polished your first scene, see how many of these concepts you can apply to the rest of your manuscript.
We look forward to reviewing your work.
All best,
The Editors
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/writin...
http://www.helenrosburg.com
October 1, 2013
Scary Sentences
There’s a reason a manuscript has to be read and revised several times before it’s published. Our editors get to read submissions at all levels of preparedness, and some sentences are downright horrifying. Want examples? We’ve got examples!
He ran a thumb and forefinger up his nose.
Never had her nineteen-year-old gullet succumbed to such horror.
He put his jaw into his neck and looked to be puckering up for a kiss.
Everything went black, there was a stinking sensation stretched through her body.
Her stupendous fairytale had dilapidated to a gut-wrenching nightmare.
She stirred herself.
She set the wrapped caramel apples in her bowels.
Her heart raced in a frantic attempt to pump blood into the necessary areas of her body.
I pooped the pills in my mouth, washing them down with some coffee.
Her head popped outside the hotel room door.
A rouge wind whipped through the branches encircling the garden in a violent vortex of leaves and debris which swirled menacingly through the yard as it gained speed.
The room fell silent and all eyes were torn from their place to stare in fright at the sound of their master’s voice.
The thought made me shutter.
He couldn’t manage to put baloney and mustard on the same two pieces of beard.
Her eyes glowed like golf balls.
His knees buckled and he crumbled to the floor like a crackers on a thick tomato soup.
We hope you’ve enjoyed these unintentionally scary sentences, and we wish you all the good kinds of spookiness this Halloween.
Read, revise, repeat, and together we can keep typos from coming back to haunt us!
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/scary-...
He ran a thumb and forefinger up his nose.
Never had her nineteen-year-old gullet succumbed to such horror.
He put his jaw into his neck and looked to be puckering up for a kiss.
Everything went black, there was a stinking sensation stretched through her body.
Her stupendous fairytale had dilapidated to a gut-wrenching nightmare.
She stirred herself.
She set the wrapped caramel apples in her bowels.
Her heart raced in a frantic attempt to pump blood into the necessary areas of her body.
I pooped the pills in my mouth, washing them down with some coffee.
Her head popped outside the hotel room door.
A rouge wind whipped through the branches encircling the garden in a violent vortex of leaves and debris which swirled menacingly through the yard as it gained speed.
The room fell silent and all eyes were torn from their place to stare in fright at the sound of their master’s voice.
The thought made me shutter.
He couldn’t manage to put baloney and mustard on the same two pieces of beard.
Her eyes glowed like golf balls.
His knees buckled and he crumbled to the floor like a crackers on a thick tomato soup.
We hope you’ve enjoyed these unintentionally scary sentences, and we wish you all the good kinds of spookiness this Halloween.
Read, revise, repeat, and together we can keep typos from coming back to haunt us!
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/scary-...
September 30, 2013
Editing for Submission Success
In the submission process, everyone knows the first sentence—not to mention the first few chapters—must be a grabber. Writers polish and repolish these pages. Some even have them professionally edited. But what about the rest of the manuscript?
I can’t tell you how many times we have requested a full manuscript only to ultimately reject it because of numerous minor editing problems. There are so many reasons for a manuscript to be rejected. Don’t let technical problems, such as punctuation and grammar, be among them.
Do not, for instance, rely on spell check. It will tell you if a word is spelled incorrectly but not if it’s used incorrectly. For example, spell check is unaware of homophones, such as here/hear, eye/aye, and heel/heal.
As long as I have your attention, I’m going to mention one more time my number one pet peeve: overused words. Over years of reading and editing, I’ve found these to be the biggest problem words for authors:
as
that
just
then
and then
so
now
and
but
These are often referred to as crutch, or habit, words, but any word at all can be overused. You use a certain word once, get it stuck in your head, and somehow it keeps popping up, and the result is an irritable editor. As a writer, I’m quite familiar with this little problem, as I do it so often myself.
My final piece of advice is that an author’s two best friends should be a good thesaurus and the Chicago Manual of Style.
Until next time—happy writing.
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/editin...
I can’t tell you how many times we have requested a full manuscript only to ultimately reject it because of numerous minor editing problems. There are so many reasons for a manuscript to be rejected. Don’t let technical problems, such as punctuation and grammar, be among them.
Do not, for instance, rely on spell check. It will tell you if a word is spelled incorrectly but not if it’s used incorrectly. For example, spell check is unaware of homophones, such as here/hear, eye/aye, and heel/heal.
As long as I have your attention, I’m going to mention one more time my number one pet peeve: overused words. Over years of reading and editing, I’ve found these to be the biggest problem words for authors:
as
that
just
then
and then
so
now
and
but
These are often referred to as crutch, or habit, words, but any word at all can be overused. You use a certain word once, get it stuck in your head, and somehow it keeps popping up, and the result is an irritable editor. As a writer, I’m quite familiar with this little problem, as I do it so often myself.
My final piece of advice is that an author’s two best friends should be a good thesaurus and the Chicago Manual of Style.
Until next time—happy writing.
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/editin...
August 2, 2013
Habit Phrases
We have a fun Editor’s Corner for you from the archives!
This month we are going to talk about certain verb phrases: habit phrases, redundant phrases, and just plain stupid—as in stoooopid—phrases. These are a few of my favorite peeves.
I think most writers are simply unaware. I know I am. I simply type along. Things just come out. Like they just come out of people’s mouths. For instance, the phone rings. Like everyone else on the planet, I have caller ID. So I know who’s calling, right? I answer the phone and say, “Hi, Mary.” And Mary says, “Hi. It’s Mary.” Stupid stuff just leaks out.
Stating the obvious goes along with stupid stuff.
Examples:
“He clapped his hands.” That one always makes me laugh. What else might he clap? His feet? Adding an adverb helps the situation. “He clapped his hands enthusiastically.” Better.
How about “He encircled her waist with his arm”? Is that as opposed to encircling her waist with his tongue, perhaps? I prefer simply “He encircled her waist,” or “He encircled her waist with a muscular arm.” This time it’s an adjective making things better.
This is another sentence I recently came across while editing. “The bank robber opened fire with his gun.” Hmmmm.
And “She licked her lips with her tongue.” You’re beginning to get it, aren’t you?
Once I even saw the sentence “He chewed his food with his teeth.” No kidding.
These aren’t huge problems, obviously, but by being aware of stating the obvious and by changing things up just a bit, simplifying or adding modifiers, we write better, I believe.
“She licked her lips with a too-dry tongue” or “She licked her lips.”
“He chewed his food” or “He chewed his food with his gleaming white teeth.”
Let’s move on to habit verb phrases. My least favorite phrase and the most abused and overused is “beginning to.”
Examples:
“It began to occur to her she was married to an idiot.” Please tell me how something “begins to occur.” If something occurs to you, isn’t it, like, a sudden thought? It doesn’t sneak up on you slowly. It . . . occurs.
“It began to rain.” I see this a lot, and it isn’t too bad. I like it better with another part to it: “Soon it became a downpour,” for instance. But “He began to run” is a stretch for me. Either he was running or he wasn’t. “She began to cough.” Uh-huh. Do you actually begin to cough? Is it a protracted moment? Or do you get right into coughing? One of my favorites is “He began to stop breathing.” I don’t even know what to say about that one.
The next three verb phrases I see used and abused most often are “move to,” “reach to,” and “stepped to.”
“He moved to take her hand.” No. “He took her hand.” In my mind at least, if you move to do something, it implies the action was not completed. I am left with an incomplete picture in my head—a hand suspended in midair. Moving but never arriving.
The same goes for “reached to.” “She reached to touch his cheek.” I see her forever reaching, never connecting. Furthermore, once an author starts using these phrases, it seems he/she is unable to stop. Every action is “reaching” and “moving,” and the style becomes stilted.
Another habit verb I’ve seen is “stepped.” I actually saw a paragraph that read something like this, no exaggeration. “He stepped into the kitchen and moved to her side. He tried to pin her against the counter, but she stepped away. She ran down the hall, and he stepped into the corridor to follow her.” It was as if this author’s record needle got stuck in the groove. Throughout the whole of the manuscript, everyone “stepped.” They didn’t enter or exit or walk into a room but “stepped” in and out. They didn’t get into a car but “stepped” into it. They didn’t walk; they “stepped” everywhere. Running became “stepping quickly.” (I did not acquire this manuscript.)
Please beware of “becoming” as well. There is certainly a time and place for the verb, but it tends to be overused once an author starts using it. “It was becoming hard to see. The young woman squinted, but her vision became blurred.” Don’t you like this better? “It was hard to see. The young woman squinted, but her vision blurred.”
Some helping verbs are not actually very helpful at all. Watch out for “being” and “to be” as well. These can swiftly become bad habits.
Sometimes a phrase just gets put in the wrong place. “The soldier felt pride for the unit swelling in his breast.” Ow. I’ll bet that hurts.
And sometimes a phrase just plain comes out, well, not quite the way we meant it. “His erection sprang from his crotch.” Wow. Just picture that. Did he ever get it back?
Then there are phrases that are just . . . stupid.
“What a beautiful woman, he thought quietly.”
Yes, well . . .
I could go on approximately forever. But I’ve decided to save some for another month.
Ah, yes. The fun has just begun.
Helen A. Rosburg
Visit my website at: http://helenrosburg.com
This month we are going to talk about certain verb phrases: habit phrases, redundant phrases, and just plain stupid—as in stoooopid—phrases. These are a few of my favorite peeves.
I think most writers are simply unaware. I know I am. I simply type along. Things just come out. Like they just come out of people’s mouths. For instance, the phone rings. Like everyone else on the planet, I have caller ID. So I know who’s calling, right? I answer the phone and say, “Hi, Mary.” And Mary says, “Hi. It’s Mary.” Stupid stuff just leaks out.
Stating the obvious goes along with stupid stuff.
Examples:
“He clapped his hands.” That one always makes me laugh. What else might he clap? His feet? Adding an adverb helps the situation. “He clapped his hands enthusiastically.” Better.
How about “He encircled her waist with his arm”? Is that as opposed to encircling her waist with his tongue, perhaps? I prefer simply “He encircled her waist,” or “He encircled her waist with a muscular arm.” This time it’s an adjective making things better.
This is another sentence I recently came across while editing. “The bank robber opened fire with his gun.” Hmmmm.
And “She licked her lips with her tongue.” You’re beginning to get it, aren’t you?
Once I even saw the sentence “He chewed his food with his teeth.” No kidding.
These aren’t huge problems, obviously, but by being aware of stating the obvious and by changing things up just a bit, simplifying or adding modifiers, we write better, I believe.
“She licked her lips with a too-dry tongue” or “She licked her lips.”
“He chewed his food” or “He chewed his food with his gleaming white teeth.”
Let’s move on to habit verb phrases. My least favorite phrase and the most abused and overused is “beginning to.”
Examples:
“It began to occur to her she was married to an idiot.” Please tell me how something “begins to occur.” If something occurs to you, isn’t it, like, a sudden thought? It doesn’t sneak up on you slowly. It . . . occurs.
“It began to rain.” I see this a lot, and it isn’t too bad. I like it better with another part to it: “Soon it became a downpour,” for instance. But “He began to run” is a stretch for me. Either he was running or he wasn’t. “She began to cough.” Uh-huh. Do you actually begin to cough? Is it a protracted moment? Or do you get right into coughing? One of my favorites is “He began to stop breathing.” I don’t even know what to say about that one.
The next three verb phrases I see used and abused most often are “move to,” “reach to,” and “stepped to.”
“He moved to take her hand.” No. “He took her hand.” In my mind at least, if you move to do something, it implies the action was not completed. I am left with an incomplete picture in my head—a hand suspended in midair. Moving but never arriving.
The same goes for “reached to.” “She reached to touch his cheek.” I see her forever reaching, never connecting. Furthermore, once an author starts using these phrases, it seems he/she is unable to stop. Every action is “reaching” and “moving,” and the style becomes stilted.
Another habit verb I’ve seen is “stepped.” I actually saw a paragraph that read something like this, no exaggeration. “He stepped into the kitchen and moved to her side. He tried to pin her against the counter, but she stepped away. She ran down the hall, and he stepped into the corridor to follow her.” It was as if this author’s record needle got stuck in the groove. Throughout the whole of the manuscript, everyone “stepped.” They didn’t enter or exit or walk into a room but “stepped” in and out. They didn’t get into a car but “stepped” into it. They didn’t walk; they “stepped” everywhere. Running became “stepping quickly.” (I did not acquire this manuscript.)
Please beware of “becoming” as well. There is certainly a time and place for the verb, but it tends to be overused once an author starts using it. “It was becoming hard to see. The young woman squinted, but her vision became blurred.” Don’t you like this better? “It was hard to see. The young woman squinted, but her vision blurred.”
Some helping verbs are not actually very helpful at all. Watch out for “being” and “to be” as well. These can swiftly become bad habits.
Sometimes a phrase just gets put in the wrong place. “The soldier felt pride for the unit swelling in his breast.” Ow. I’ll bet that hurts.
And sometimes a phrase just plain comes out, well, not quite the way we meant it. “His erection sprang from his crotch.” Wow. Just picture that. Did he ever get it back?
Then there are phrases that are just . . . stupid.
“What a beautiful woman, he thought quietly.”
Yes, well . . .
I could go on approximately forever. But I’ve decided to save some for another month.
Ah, yes. The fun has just begun.
Helen A. Rosburg
Visit my website at: http://helenrosburg.com
July 15, 2013
Wordy Offenders
To write the most effective copy, cut wordiness. During revisions, look for words that . . .
-are unnecessary
-slow the reading pace
-distract from the main idea
Below, we’ve listed some frequent wordy offenders and demonstrated how to eliminate them.
There are/is
Example: There is a black cat who sits on the windowsill.
Improved: A black cat sits on the windowsill.
Being verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been)
Example: She was staring at the cat.
Improved: She stared at the cat.
Redundancies
Example: Joe knelt down on the grass.
Improved: Joe knelt on the grass.
It is
Example: It is clear that Rose is unprepared.
Improved: Rose is clearly unprepared.
Which/that
Example: The books, which were heavy, were packed in small boxes.
Improved: The heavy books were packed in small boxes.
Very
Examples: A sharp wit is very necessary in this profession.
Improved: A sharp wit is necessary in this profession.
Had a/n
Example: The research had an influence on his decision.
Improved: The research influenced his decision.
On how to
Example: I read a book on how to code.
Improved: I read a book on coding.
Of the
Example: She wasted the time of the crowd.
Improved: She wasted the crowd’s time.
Eliminate wordiness, and your copy will improve significantly. We’re eager to read your concise writing.
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/wordy-...
-are unnecessary
-slow the reading pace
-distract from the main idea
Below, we’ve listed some frequent wordy offenders and demonstrated how to eliminate them.
There are/is
Example: There is a black cat who sits on the windowsill.
Improved: A black cat sits on the windowsill.
Being verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been)
Example: She was staring at the cat.
Improved: She stared at the cat.
Redundancies
Example: Joe knelt down on the grass.
Improved: Joe knelt on the grass.
It is
Example: It is clear that Rose is unprepared.
Improved: Rose is clearly unprepared.
Which/that
Example: The books, which were heavy, were packed in small boxes.
Improved: The heavy books were packed in small boxes.
Very
Examples: A sharp wit is very necessary in this profession.
Improved: A sharp wit is necessary in this profession.
Had a/n
Example: The research had an influence on his decision.
Improved: The research influenced his decision.
On how to
Example: I read a book on how to code.
Improved: I read a book on coding.
Of the
Example: She wasted the time of the crowd.
Improved: She wasted the crowd’s time.
Eliminate wordiness, and your copy will improve significantly. We’re eager to read your concise writing.
- See more at: http://medallionmediagroup.com/wordy-...
June 3, 2013
Continuity 101
Ensuring consistency in a manuscript can sometimes be overwhelming, especially when you’re working on a series with numerous details and facts, so here are a few tips to keep in mind.
The best way to keep track of details is a style sheet. We compile one for every book during the editing process. It assists the editor and author as they work on revisions, and it’s helpful for the copy editor and proofreader when they eventually work on the manuscript. Our style sheets contain a detailed character list, including physical descriptions, nicknames, and ages; a list of verified words not found in the dictionary, trademarks, and names of stores, restaurants, streets, etc.; a timeline briefly summarizing each chapter and highlighting dates and times; and other notes and useful information. Keep your style sheet handy when you’re writing or editing because you’ll need to update and refer to it often.
Whenever you change something, such as a character’s name or a date, use the find and replace tool to make all the references consistent. And remember, even the smallest change can have a ripple effect, so be on the lookout for other necessary adjustments.
Finally, the key to continuity in your book is to question and verify everything, especially numbers, dates, and times. Also, know your characters inside out. For instance, be sure they drive the same make and model of car and have the same eye color throughout the manuscript. Even if you think you remember details, double-check them anyway.
Be mindful of details, but try not to let them bog you down. If you write a style sheet and double-check everything, you’ll have no trouble keeping the details in your book under control and consistent.
The best way to keep track of details is a style sheet. We compile one for every book during the editing process. It assists the editor and author as they work on revisions, and it’s helpful for the copy editor and proofreader when they eventually work on the manuscript. Our style sheets contain a detailed character list, including physical descriptions, nicknames, and ages; a list of verified words not found in the dictionary, trademarks, and names of stores, restaurants, streets, etc.; a timeline briefly summarizing each chapter and highlighting dates and times; and other notes and useful information. Keep your style sheet handy when you’re writing or editing because you’ll need to update and refer to it often.
Whenever you change something, such as a character’s name or a date, use the find and replace tool to make all the references consistent. And remember, even the smallest change can have a ripple effect, so be on the lookout for other necessary adjustments.
Finally, the key to continuity in your book is to question and verify everything, especially numbers, dates, and times. Also, know your characters inside out. For instance, be sure they drive the same make and model of car and have the same eye color throughout the manuscript. Even if you think you remember details, double-check them anyway.
Be mindful of details, but try not to let them bog you down. If you write a style sheet and double-check everything, you’ll have no trouble keeping the details in your book under control and consistent.
