Sarah Bailey's Blog, page 2

Real Talk... I'm a nerd!

I’m not one for getting super personal. Okay, maybe on occasion I do, but it’s mainly about my writing and not my personal life. But I’ve got to admit something… I’m a socially awkward, anxiety ridden nerd. Like on an epic level. If you met me in real life, you’d see it. I hate talking to new people or making small talk. I guess that’s my inner introvert coming out.

It’s hard to explain to people sometimes that being an introvert and having social anxiety/awkwardness are two VERY separate things. Just because I’m an introvert, doesn’t mean I don’t like to socialise or be around people. The truth is I don’t like crowds of people or being in large groups. I prefer one on one conversation with others. I love to talk, but I also find being around people socially for too long exhausting. That’s what makes me an introvert.

The other stuff? The social anxiety? That’s different. It’s like a paralysing fear that when you say something, people will think you’re an idiot for it. Now, I know I’m not an idiot. I’m smart and capable, but my anxiety doesn’t care about that. It reminds me of when I was a teenager and people use to make fun of me because I was different. I wasn’t like them. As the years went by, I learnt they weren’t worth my time, energy or effort. I felt sorry for them. People who make fun of your differences are just insecure inside. They feel the need to lash out at the world because of their own fears about themselves. So now, I ignore it when anyone makes fun of me or gives me a hard time for being different. There’s also the fact that I just really don’t care what people think about me. I’m not here to please them. I’m here for me. That’s it. And yet… even so… my anxiety still remains. Most days I manage it, but sometimes it gets the better of me, just like everything in life.

I don’t talk about my personal life often, but I’m also not putting on an act online. What you see is what you get. Yes, I’m an author, but I’m also a girl who loves to read and get lost in other worlds. A girl who loves to listen to music all day, every day because it inspires me. My favourite TV shows are ones like Supernatural, The Boys and my guilty pleasure is Ex On The Beach. I’m a gamer. I adore RPGs such as Mass Effect, Dragon Age, The Witcher, Red Dead Redemption but I’m also into Grounded and most recently, Spirtfarer. I spend way too much time watching YouTube videos about books, games and everything in between when I should be writing.

The point of all of this is I’m a nerd and I’m happy to admit that. I like being one. I’m not afraid to be who I am. And if you’ve got an issue with that? Well… you know where the door is 😉

Crisis Point

I don’t write many blog posts. In fact, I’m terrible at blogging. I’d much rather be writing fiction. Except that’s been difficult recently. And I haven’t talked to anyone about the full extent of what I’ve been going through. Not even my best friends. It’s not so much I don’t trust them to understand. In all honesty, it has nothing to do with them at all. It’s just me having a huge internal crisis of confidence. And sharing that felt impossible until now.

Why now?

Well… it’s because I’ve come to realise what is wrong and why I feel the way I do. It all comes down to the last book I finished writing. One I’m releasing August 7th 2020.

This book… where do I even start?

Our Darkest Hour came to me when I designed a random cover one day after needing a change of pace. This character, Rhys, would not leave me alone and it became very clear to me, this story wasn’t going to be like anything I’ve ever written. I poured the words onto the page straight from my soul. These two characters, Rhys and Aaron, go through so much. It’s the most emotional journey I’ve ever been on.

So why the crisis after I finished this book?

Shouldn’t I be celebrating writing what I feel is the most soul destroying and heartwarming book I’ve ever written?

Well yes… but in a lot of ways, I’ve not been. No, I’ve instead been lumbered with a crap ton of self-doubt. And whilst I started writing the next book, I reached a point where I just couldn’t get the words out. I’ve tried so hard, but so many days, I’ve written nothing at all. I’m sure that’s not an issue for a lot of writers, but for me? It’s a major one. Writing fiction is my career, it’s my job and I can’t help feeling like a failure when I can’t perform my job.

Ultimately the reason I haven’t been able to write comes down to one thing. This book destroyed my creativity. Now, that sounds really dramatic, but let me explain. I’m still a creative person. I’m still coming up with stories, characters, plots and narratives. None of that has changed. It has more to do with the fact I can’t stop comparing everything I write to Our Darkest Hour. I can’t stop thinking… how do I top this book? How do I write a book as good as this again? How do I ever create something as compelling, soul destroying and uplifting as this book?

I’ve never had this problem before. Never compared my books to each other. Our Darkest Hour isn’t just A book to me… it’s THE book to me. It probably means more to me than any other book I’ve ever written. Not to say that my other books aren’t equally as important, because they are. I love all my books and my book kids. I guess something about Rhys and Aaron’s story hit home for me.

What’s even crazier to me is the fact I’ve not even released this book yet. I have NO idea how it will be received. It’s not like any book I’ve written before. Not just because it’s over 120,000 words in length, which is a hefty size for a romance book. It’s not even the first time I’ve written queer characters. It’s the first time I’ve written a male/male romance. And it’s the first time I’ve written a story which spans over a large chunk of their lives.

To me, it doesn’t matter that these are characters are gay or that one of them is demisexual. This was never about writing a queer or LGBTQ romance. It was always about me telling a story about two characters who fall in love. I write stories about human beings. So their gender, their orientation… I don’t think anything of it. It just is what it is. I’m not trying to misrepresent anyone and I don’t have an agenda. I merely wrote the story which came to me.

Going back to my original point… I don’t know what my readers will think of this or whether they’ll like it. I think in a lot of ways I’m going struggle when it comes out as I poured my heart out onto the pages with this one. I guess this book has the biggest pieces of myself I’ve ever given. And that scares me. So perhaps that’s why I’ve become so consumed with worry and anxiety over what I’m writing now. I guess there’s a lot of reasons, but I know I’ve got to push through this self-doubt. I’ve got to keep going. There is no other option.

The point of this blog post is to show I’m not a superhero. I’m flawed and I go through the same doubts as all writers do. I reached a crisis point and I didn’t know what to do about it. Taking a break seemed like a good idea, but in reality, it only spiralled me further into self-doubt and anxiety over my ability to produce another knockout book.

So, no more breaks. It’s time to get back to business.

I’ll get through this, just like all the other trials I’ve been through during my writing career. I know I will. Soon, I’ll believe in myself again. Perhaps it won’t happen until after I’ve released this book and honestly? That’s okay. Sometimes you have to go through hard times to recognise the good ones.

All I know is I’ve learnt a lot from this experience. From this book. From these characters. They’ve taught me so much and for that, I’ll be forever grateful to Rhys and Aaron for giving me their story even if it almost destroyed me and my creativity.

And maybe… if you read it… it will destroy you. But I do hope it’ll put you back together again too.

Dirty Cop is Coming!

Dirty Cop - the second book in the Dirty Series is coming on the 15 January 2020.

Pre-order now: mybook.to/dirtycop

Add it to your tbr:





A redhead. A police officer. And a pair of handcuffs.

Another night shift. Another fight in a club. Friday nights in Central London were always trouble. Running across a redheaded siren who couldn’t keep her eyes off me? That wasn't a usual occurrence.

Amelia Williams. Her hazel eyes told me she’d love it if I did filthy things to her. I'd be playing with fire if I crossed a line and contacted her whilst I'm on duty, but somehow, I can't stop myself. I have to have this woman on her knees for me.

When we get together, it’s an explosion of passion and possession. She’s more than I could have ever asked for. And I find myself needing more than just a quick one night stand.

The question is… Does she want more like I do? Or will she run for the hills when she finds out I'm a single father?

Author note: This is not a dark romance. It's short, super steamy contemporary romance.

Saying Goodbye

You’d think it would be easy for us as writers to say goodbye to our beloved characters after we finish their stories. Hell, even I thought it’d be easy. Turns out, it ain’t… It’s much harder than I ever envisioned or expected.

When I think about my Corrupt Empire and Benson Siblings series, which are both very much interlinked, I see the books and characters that were the catalyst to my success as an author. In a lot of ways, it makes these characters incredibly special and important to me. It’s more than just that. They have enabled me to become a full time author, yes, but they did a whole lot more for me and I’m going to explore this below.

I started out writing these characters over a year ago at the time of this blog post. Essentially they’ve been a HUGE part of my life for an entire year and whilst that might not meant much in the grand scheme of things, it means something to me. I’ve shared ups, downs, laughter, tears and, most of all, love with them. They sucked me into their world. Whilst it was dark and twisted in many aspects, they allowed me a glimpse into the most tumultuous parts of their lives. And yes, I realise they’re fictional characters, but when I’m writing them, they’re very much real to me. So saying goodbye to them? Yeah, that’s tough.

I guess the reason I’m writing this is because I realised today just how sad this has made me feel. I’ve been trying to work out for the past month why I’ve not felt right creatively. Why I’ve been struggling so hard to write my new projects, of which I have several. Why I’ve just not felt right in myself. And it all boils down to one thing. I have to say goodbye to Avery and Aiden and my Benson siblings, who have been instrumental in my career, my writing and my journey. With the release of the final book coming on the 13th December 2019, it’s the end of my biggest writing achievement so far. Whilst it’s not the end of my dark romance universe, it is the end of this part of the world.

Now I’m sure some of my readers would love more stories from these characters. I’m never going to say never, but currently, I have no plans to write further stories for them. They’ve all got their happy endings. I would only ever add to their journeys if I felt they had more stories worth telling and would enrich the world. As far as I’m concerned, their time with me has come to an end.

So whilst I have to take some time to grieve their loss, I will look to the future. This is not the end of my dark romance universe… In many respects, this only the beginning. And I’m looking forward to bring my readers more emotional, angsty, heartbreaking, soul destroying stories with a heavy dose of happiness in the end.

There’s only really one thing left to say… Goodbye to my wonderful characters: Aiden, Avery, Dante, Liora, James, Ellie, Jensen, Fiona, Brent and Jennifer. You will always have a special place in my heart, but, for now at least, our journey together has come to an end.

Protect is Coming!

The fourth and final book in the Benson Siblings is coming. Protect is Jennifer's story, the second twin and I'm so looking forward to sharing with you all.

It releases on the 13th December!

Add to your TBR:





I was his firestorm. He was my shield.

I never thought I’d end up stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I’ve always hated my brother’s best friend.
He was rude, irritating and drove me absolutely crazy.
We constantly gave each other hell.
Until that one night when my world fell apart.
Everything changed between us.
And I’ve been avoiding him ever since.
Now I’m in way over my head.
My family’s reputation and livelihood is at stake.
Everything we’ve worked for could be crushed into the dust.
Terrified. Utterly lost. And completely alone.
I’m caught up in a messy web of lies, secrets and destruction.
And Brent Coleman is the only one who can save me.

You’ve dived into Fiona’s twisted world of the forbidden, now you’ll discover Jennifer’s secrets. The last sibling is about to get her world flipped upside down by a familiar face and it’s a story you really don’t want to miss.

Author Note: I highly recommend you read both the Corrupt Empire series and the first three books in the Benson Siblings series before diving into this book, but Protect can be read as a standalone.

If your like your dark romances a little on the forbidden side, then dive into Protect, the fourth book in the Benson Siblings series.

Prohibit is coming!

The third book in the Benson Siblings is coming. Prohibit is Fiona's story, the first of the twins, and I'm so looking forward to sharing it with you all.

It releases on November 15th 2019.

Add to your TBR:





I was her therapist. She was my lifeline.

You think having a one night stand with a woman in a bar would be simple, right?
She was everything I wanted.
This little dark haired beauty who let me do exactly as I pleased.
And gave as good as she got.
Everything about that one night was perfect.
Until she walked into my office with her twin sister.
I tried to stay away and deny what was between us.
She was too young. Too innocent. Too sweet.
And worst of all, my client.
She got under my skin, making it impossible to forget her.
I’ve had a taste of the forbidden.
And once was never going to be enough.
Fiona Benson made me throw caution to the wind.
I watched the flames crash and burn.

You’ve met the Benson boys, now you’ll discover what makes their twin sisters tick. Fiona’s story is sure to set a fair few pulses racing.

Author Note: I highly recommend you read both the Corrupt Empire series and the first two books in the Benson Siblings series before diving into this book, but Prohibit can be read as a standalone.

If your like your dark romances a little on the forbidden side, then dive into Prohibit, the third book in the Benson Siblings series.

Promises is Coming!

The second book in the Benson Siblings is coming. Promises is James' story and I'm so looking forward to sharing it with you all.

Pre-Order Now

Add to your TBR:





Blurb:

She was beautifully broken. I was her balm.

They say unrequited love hurts the most.
Well it sucks to be me then.
My heart has belonged to my best friend for longer than I care to remember.
At least until her.
The sweetest girl with a haunted past.
And darkness which seeps out of her pores, surrounding her with a haze of desolation.
It started with a need to unburden ourselves.
Now I can't think of anything else.
Her touch. Her smile. Her blue eyes.
It feels like the past is repeating itself.
With a girl I can never have.
Ellie Kirkwood extracted a promise from me.
And now I want all of her in return.

You’ve met his older brother, now you’ll get to know the youngest Benson sibling, James. His story isn't one you'll be expecting.

Author note: This is not as dark in content as Provoked. James’ story is full of unrequited love, heartbreak and a lot of angst. I highly recommend you read both the Corrupt Empire series and Provoked before starting this book because James features quite heavily in Avery and Aiden’s trilogy, but Promises can also be read as a standalone.

If you like dark romance that's a little different with a heavy serving of angst, then dive into Promises, the second book in the Benson Siblings series.

Provoked is coming

The spin off to Corrupt Empire - Provoked is coming on the 3rd of July!

Available for pre-order now. Get ready for Dante & Liora's story because it's a wild one!

Pre order Now






Blurb:

I was his gift. He was my downfall.

They say your parents are the two people who are meant to love you and keep you safe.
So what does that say about mine?
My father gave me to a man as a gift.
A man who wears many masks.
A man who terrifies me.
Why then do I want to know what lies beneath?
Why does a single touch send shivers down my spine?
I know what he wants.
My body. My words. My mind.
I can’t run. I can’t hide. And I can’t give in to him.
My name is Liora Stewart.
And Dante Benson is my Master.

Betrayal Book Tour

Betrayal
Corrupt Empire Book 1
by
Sarah Bailey
Genre: Dark Contemporary Romance

It all started one dark night. The last night I saw my family. The night
I met him. The only man to haunt my every moment.

Her

I witnessed something I was never meant to see.
He took me.
He broke me.
He made me his.
And now he wants to use me to bring down my family.

Him

I was never meant to have her.
The daughter of the scum who stole my life.
I took her.
I broke her.
I made her mine.
And now she’ll do anything I say.

One tattooed anti-hero gets caught up in a whirlwind with an
innocent heiress. It’ll keep you on your toes with its web of lies and secrets.

If you’re a fan of dark romance, dive into Betrayal, the first
book in the explosive Corrupt Empire Series.

Goodreads * Amazon

“Don’t move an inch,” a deep voice I didn’t recognise said.
I looked up at Mum. Her face hardened. She mouthed to me ‘stay down’. My hands stilled.
“Walk around the counter slowly,” the voice said.
It sent a chill down my spine. Void of all emotion. Cold as steel.
Mum complied, sending me another warning look before she disappeared.
What is going on?
“You know why I’m here.”
“We can discuss this calmly like adults. Just put the gun down,” Dad said.
Gun. He has a gun. My heartbeat kicked up a notch. My palms began to sweat. Why did this stranger have a gun? And what did he want with my parents?
“Funny, Mitchell, you lost the right to negotiate the moment you took something that never belonged to you.”
Took what?
Nothing made sense. I needed to see for myself. I carefully placed the pan on the floor and crawled towards the counter, edging along to the end. Peering around, I found both my parents with their hands up. The man holding the gun wore no mask. My breath caught in my throat.
I’d never described a man as beautiful before. There was no other word for him. His light brown hair, short at the sides and longer on top, was neatly styled. Grey eyes glinted under the soft kitchen lights. His dark suit clung to him in all the right places, tailored to absolute perfection. It left no doubt he was all hard muscle underneath. An avenging angel. Except this angel had a gun pointed at my dad’s head.
Self-preservation made me freeze. If I alerted him to my presence, it wouldn’t help anyone. I ignored the voice in my head telling me the real reason I couldn’t move had more to do with how awestruck I was by the gun-wielding stranger.
Thanks brain. Not!
“Look, can’t we put all of that behind us? It’s been over twenty years,” Dad said.
The angel’s expression didn’t change. Cold, almost calculating. It sent chills running down my spine. Terrifying and beautiful at the same time. A deadly combination.
“No.”
There was no other warning. Two shots fired in quick succession. The sound rang in my ears. My parents collapsed one after the other. I put a hand over my mouth, stifling a scream. He’d shot them right between the eyes. There was no question in my mind. They were dead.
Dead.
The word stuck in my head.
Dead.
Dead.
Blood poured out of the back of their heads, pooling on the wooden floor beneath them. Their chests were still, unmoving. Tears pricked at my eyes.
My parents were dead.
Dead.
I looked at the angel again. He stared right at me. The surprise in his eyes faded after a second. I fell back onto my hands as I tried to scramble away.
“No, please,” I whispered.
He didn’t raise the gun to me. His lip twitched. I backed up right into the counter behind me, putting my hands up.
“Please don’t kill me.”
In five long strides, he stood before me. His very presence made my heart hammer erratically in my chest. I could hear it loud and clear in my ears. Up close, I got a real sense of just how tall and well-built he was, muscles rippled under his suit jacket as he moved.
“I’m not going to kill you,” he said, his voice quiet. “But you and I are going to have a little talk.”
I nodded slowly. I’d just seen him murder my parents. The likelihood of him letting me go was slim to none. I doubted he’d counted on having a witness.
He squatted down until we were eye level. Those grey eyes cold and yet so beautiful.
“You shouldn’t have seen this.”
“Why… why did you kill my parents?” I whispered, almost unable to get the words out.
“They weren’t good people, Avery.”
“How do you know my name?”
He cocked his head to the side.
“Everyone knows who you are.”
He wasn’t wrong. I’d been photographed countless times by the press and had my name plastered all over social media. Still, he didn’t seem like the type of person to browse tabloids.
Why did he know who I was?
Why did he do this?
His expression told me he felt no remorse for killing my parents. They’d known who he was.
Why?
I had too many questions. And I didn’t think I was going to get many answers out of this man.
“What are you going to do with me?”
He stared at me for the longest moment without answering. My skin prickled. I was struck again by just how beautiful he was.
Get a grip!
You don’t crush on the guy who just murdered your parents. Normal people don’t go around with guns. He wasn’t a good guy. Nothing about him was soft or welcoming. Nothing at all. My brain was playing tricks on me. I was just in shock. That had to be it.
He reached out, grabbing me by my neck and pulling me up to my feet with him.
“Who are you?” I whispered when he didn’t let go.
“Your worst nightmare.”
A sharp pain erupted from the back of my head and radiated outwards. The last thing I remember before passing out was those steel grey eyes and his expression. Regret.

Sacrifice
Corrupt Empire Book 2
*Releasing on April 17th!*
Goodreads * Amazon



Revenge
Corrupt Empire Book 3
*Releasing on May 15th!*
Goodreads * Amazon

Born and raised in Sussex, UK near the Ashdown Forest where she grew up climbing trees and building Lego towns with her younger brother. Sarah fell in love with novels when she was a teenager reading her aunt’s historical regency romances. She has always loved the supernatural and exploring the darker side of romance and fantasy novels.

Sarah currently resides in the Scottish Highlands with her husband. Music is one of her biggest inspirations and she always has something on in the background whilst writing. She is an avid gamer and is often found hogging her husband’s Xbox.

Website * Facebook * FB Group * Twitter * Instagram * Amazon * Goodreads

Follow the tour HERE for exclusive content and a giveaway!

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Romance with a little side of Darkness

I don’t often blog, but I wanted to talk a little bit about my new series – Corrupt Empire – considering the first book in the trilogy releases in less than a week. And also because this is a new sub-genre of romance for me – dark romance.

What possessed me to start writing dark romance? It was a number of things. My best author friend, Sab, recommended I start reading Pepper Winters. I did start out by reading her two coming of age stories which aren’t dark romances, but once I started on her first book – Tears of Tess – I was more than a little bit hooked by the dark elements and the intensity of Q and Tess. My love affair with dark romance did not end there, I read several other author’s offerings and I just thought to myself, this is something I’d like to explore further. I’ve always had a thing for alpha males, tortured souls and anti-heroes in literature, so this was just an extension of that. I would even go so far as to say that reading in this genre started to bleed into my paranormal romance series – After Dark. I mean… I wrote the a book about the original bad boy himself, Lucifer. Let’s just say his preferences are not vanilla and he’s the first male character I wrote who was really into kinky sex. And the follow up – Blood Magic – which isn’t out yet, has characters who definitely have an intense and not so vanilla sex life.

So, Sarah, how did you come up with the idea for Corrupt Empire? Funny you should ask… It all started with a single question.

What would happen if you fell in love with the man who murdered your parents?

I ask myself weird questions, it’s true, but I’m a writer so I think I can be forgiven!

I digress…

This gave me an interesting idea to explore and thus, Avery and Aiden were born. Aiden – a man with a darkly disturbing background and Avery – a innocent rich girl caught in the crossfire. When I set out to write this story, little did I know it would end up spawning into a three book trilogy with a complex plot which I’m still juggling. I’m currently in the midst of writing the final book. Not sure if I’ve ever explained how I write before, but I’m not someone who plots any of my books. I just tend to write into the wind and it works for me. I let my characters lead me where they want to go. I often call my writing style as writing like I’m the reader. It makes it exciting for me as I want to know what happens.

Writing these books has been a challenge. I’ve never really told a love story over the course of three books nor have I had to write about such dark themes. I’ve written some disturbing characters in the past, but this was different. This was about a man who people will be in two minds over because of his actions. I’m not going to call Aiden a saint or anything. He’s not and he makes no apologies for who he is either. He’s been through a lot, but I don’t necessarily think that entirely excuses his behaviour. But that’s exactly what dark romances does, blurs the lines between what’s acceptable and what’s not. I think that’s what makes it so interesting for me. You don’t pick up a dark romance expecting there to be morally sound characters. No, you pick it up knowing you’ll be put through your paces and pushed out of your comfort zone. You’ll wonder if you should really be rooting for these characters to be together or not. At least that’s how I look at it.

I don’t want to give spoilers or anything, but I’ve not held back in this series. It’s not just about what Aiden does, but the whole cast of characters who have their hands in many pies and who are in no way saints themselves. There’s a very fine balance between what you show your readers and what you imply. I like to think I’ve created a very visceral experience told from both Avery and Aiden’s point of views. If I decided to tell this story thorough only Avery’s eyes, I don’t think it would’ve had the same impact. It would’ve also been incredibly difficult to explore Aiden’s backstory and I felt it was really important to tell his story through his eyes. To show that whilst Aiden has issues, namely with control and emotions, he’s not just a sick individual who can’t see right from wrong. Yes, he’s a killer, but he has his reasons. And when he takes Avery captive after he kills her parents in front of her, he’s not just doing it because he can. It’s more nuanced and complicated than that.

I’ve talked a lot about Aiden, but I’ve also got a couple things to say about Avery too. She’s been an interesting character to write. She is broken down by the man who killed her parents. I didn’t want to write a heroine without a backbone, but I had to keep in mind that Aiden essentially made her reliant on him by keeping her captive. Again, this is a dark romance so this kind of thing is par for the course for the genre. It doesn’t mean that I take the issue of consent lightly. Even Aiden admits at one point in the book that he isn’t sure whether her feelings towards him are genuine or not because of what he’s done. It was something I felt necessary to acknowledge.

A lot happens to Avery throughout the course of this series and I hope in many ways, this makes her a stronger person. She learns a lot about herself through her relationship with Aiden and what he reveals to her about her family. And in the words of Avery herself – ‘This isn’t a story of love, sunshine and roses. This is a story of of betrayal, murder, lust and deceit.’


Now, I have had some reader feedback through ARC (advance reader copies) and so far, people have enjoyed Betrayal, the first book, even if it did give them all sorts of conflicting emotions. I like to think I’ve achieved what I set out to and I can only hope that continues with the next two books.

Betrayal releases on the 20th March. The following two books will be released in April and May 2019.

You can pre-order all three books now and check out my other series via my Amazon Page: http://author.to/sarahbailey