Jade Lee's Blog, page 21

No.12 Monday Musings w/Jade Lee

This time on Monday Musings, Jade talks Holiday decorat […]

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5 Consequences of Reading Your First Erotic Novel

Aside from a ramped-up sex drive, there are some uninte […]

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Monday Musings w/Jade Lee

GUESS WHAT?  I just turned in a manuscript!!! WOO HOO! […]

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#MondayMusings w/Jade Lee

Vacation’s over? Since when? So I’ve had a […]

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Two week Seduction

  She’s going to break all of his rules… Tec […]

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Monday Musings w/Jade Lee

I drove up to Wisconsin RWA’s Write Touch Conference last weekend. Awesome conference where I got a ton of good ideas. But first, I had to get there. It’s usually a four hour drive, but with construction (YUCK!) it was more like six. Since I was all alone, I had plenty of time to think…

Things I did NOT think about on my drive.

A. My inspirational speech for the last presentation of the conference.

B. Why I chose to walk a mile on Thursday in sandals that rub in a now very sensitive place on my feet

C. Why the GPS says, “Warning: Slow Traffic Ahead” when I’ve been driving at 10 mph for twenty minutes.

D. What squidge pictures I can get this weekend.

Answer: D.  I actually wrote my speech on the drive, my foot is still hurting from those stupid sandals, and the GPS got cursed out often this weekend. As for squidge–those pictures happen kinda organically. So I don’t think ahead about them.

What things did I say aloud even though I was all alone.

A. “If I were writing STAR TREK now, would I dress doomed characters in red?”

B. “Where’s the next goddamned Starbucks?”

C. “A naked man would really liven things up right now.”

D. “I’m hungry. Where can I find a triple chocolate fudge sundae?”

E. “Why, why, why did I wear those f****** sandals?”

Answer: All of the above. Yes, I’m insane.

And finally, YES or NO — could any of the following thoughts be linked somehow?

A. Where’s the next place to go pee?

B. Where’s the next Starbucks?

C. I wonder why I can’t get to sleep?

D. I’m going nuts just sitting here in traffic. I just want to punch someone.

Answer: NO! Of course not! What the heck are you talking about? DENIAL is a powerful thing.

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Monday Musings w/ Jade Lee

MONDAY MUSINGS

So obviously, I’ve not quite kept up with my Monday musings as I planned. I’ll try to do better.  But honestly, the Romantic Times Convention (www.rtconvention.com<http://www.rtconvention.com)/>) really took me out of play for a while. I spent ten days in the Big Easy having a GREAT TIME. The highlights: dancing at Oz with @DamonSuede and friends. And meeting (again) RoseMarie who showed me her tattoo based on my books. It was a butterfly, and I was so touched by her words that I cried. (The tat you can’t really see is the dragon beneath it. OMG, it’s gorgeous)

So here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly about conferences.

The good:

a) A zillion friends-new and old.

b) giving squidge to a zillion friends-new and old

c) dancing and talking all night long to a zillion friends-new and old.

d) getting to wear hot clothes that I can’t wear anywhere else. I now have six corsets in my closet and each one is begging to be worn!

Answer: All of the above, of course. But mostly all the awesome things I get to do with my zillion new and old friends! I mean, let’s face it. I’m an extrovert in an introvert’s job. I spend my days typing on my laptop and talking to imaginary people. They’re fun and all, but it’s not the same thing. I need to meet peeps, to drink coffee with them and gab about men (fictional and otherwise). I need you all to come find me an conferences and tell me about your lives and your loves. Because I can’t imagine anything better.

The bad:

a) my feet. Or rather the torture of being in nice shoes all day and walking everywhere. I wore my fitbit and did five miles easily every day.

b) the events. Don’t get me wrong. I loved everyone of them. But showing up at the right time and place? Wait…I’m supposed to be where? When?

c) My roommate Kelly Oakes. Let’s just say laughing until the wee hours of the morning is surprisingly taxing. Can you say: Coffee. Now! And pulling glass out of her foot at 1 am was a new experience. Bourbon Street can be hard on feet!

d) Jade’s Jewel’s get together at 8 am. Can you say STUPID? OMG, were my eyes even open?

Answer: A. You have no idea how swollen my poor toes were. Every night I ached from the knee down. All the rest- the events, Kelly, even the 8 am get together were FUN, FUN, FUN! And btw, here’s a couple squidges picture from the Rainbow Pride event where everyone dressed up #squidge!

The ugly:

I can’t even think of stuff to say that’s ugly. Not even in jest. Because honestly, who wants to think about shit like that? RT was amazing fun. If there was ugly, it was in the mound of laundry and the exhaustion afterwards. Or perhaps the amount of coffee I consumed. Talk about scary…

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Monday Musings w/Jade Lee

As many of you know, today’s my birthday. Yup, so here’s the good and bad things about turning more-than-50 today.

The best thing about turning more-than-50 is…

a. Having already crossed the decade mark a while ago, everything else is 50+

b. The entire country of Mexico celebrates my birth. Yes, I’ve co-opted Cinco de Mayo

c. It’s not Star Wars Day because we can’t violate the sanctity of May the Fourth Be With You.

d. I’m not dead. In fact, with the kids out of the house and my body mostly functioning well,  every day is exactly how I want it to be. Well, at least in the aspects I can control.

e. I’m old enough to know how to celebrate wildly and not care how I look in the photographs because honestly, who cares about a 50+ gyrating with the stripper after her 5th margarita?

f. My kids are old enough to have already unfriended me on FB [JadeLeeBooks] and Twitter [@JadeLeeAuthor]. They really don’t want to know what I’m doing.

Answer – d. The truth is, I’m young, healthy, and happy. What better thing could I ask for? Well…let me show you a couple pictures of the presents I’d like, in order from great to the bestest ever!

A. Dinner with Joss Whedon.

B. Dinner and dancing with Johnny Depp

C. Dinner, dancing, and whatever he wants with Nathan Fillian

D. The return of Firefly. All hail, Capt. Tightpants!

The worst thing about turning more-than-50 is…

a. My husband of almost 30 years asked me what he could give me for my birthday and I said, I dunno. Dinner? Let me take a nap? Yeah, a pathetic lack of imagination because I’ve already done all the wild things I want to do.

b. I may be old enough to gyrate with a stripper, but my knee will explode after the first gyration.

c. Five magaritas? Honestly, I’m asleep after the second.

d. Um…what? Was I saying something? Sometimes I wonder if my brain is slipping away by the second and every year, I wonder if I’ve lost something else. (Other than my keys…)

e. AARP spam

Answer: E. Because I don’t ever intend to retire. I will write until I die. And the American Association of Retired People (I think that’s what the acronym means) can stop sending me pictures of happy gray-haired people. I dye my gray, thank you very much!

Oh wait… Actually, the worst thing about turning more-than-50 is that having looked at the AARP site, I’m thinking…huh. Not so bad.

Nevermind. I’m going to spend my day reading what I want, taking a hot bath, and then watching Supernatural.

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Monday Musings w/Jade Lee

Today on Monday Musings…

Monday After a Conference:

We’ve started conference season. I just got back last night from one of the absolute best: Barbara Vey’s Reader Appreciation luncheon. There are pictures all over her site www.barbaravey.com and my Facebook page. Also, the pictures included here are just some of the fun things I did, people I saw, etc.

So let’s start with an easy question.

1. The best thing about this past weekend was

A. the coffee. My blood runs brown during events, and I mainline it wherever I go.

B. The readers. Okay, so this is an obvious one. Meeting and talking books with people is the most fun ever!

C. Seeing my author pals and talking business ALL NIGHT LONG. Well, maybe not all night. The bar closed at 2am.

D. Making every potty stop on the way with Elizabeth Hoyt.

Answer: B with C being a close second. Basically I love talking books with anyone. Fans, authors, readers, people, and even a dragon who was beautifully perched on a woman’s shoulder.  By the way, I do drink coffee until my blood runs brown, but anyone who thinks hotel coffee served at a conference is the best ever…well, I guess they’re just desperate. Which I can understand!  And Elizabeth Hoyt is great fun on the drive, but we have more fun gabbing than going potty. We’re just weird that way.

 

2. When coming home after an event, I usually…

A. Go pee. I am a middle-aged woman with a tiny bladder after all.

B. Immediately do housework, though I wonder when my cats will use the outside as a litter instead of coming inside to do their business.

C. Unpack, unload, undress, and eventually fall into bed.

D. Collapse, turn on the TV, and drool on myself as I watch anything for at least an hour.

Answer: A. Like I said: middle-aged woman.  If you guessed any form of work, OMG, you haven’t been reading my blogs. I will eventually pull in my suitcase from the car. That’s it. The rest is for another day. And yes, I usually turn on the tv eventually, but I try not to drool.

 

3. My next trip is to…

A. The grocery store. Like my husband did anything while I was gone.

B. Starbucks. Holy moly, I just cut my finger and my blood is red. That’s got to change.

C. The UPS store where I will SHIP a zillion boxes of SQUIDGE to the Romantic Times conference hotel

D. To bed where I will bury my head and moan for another day.

Answer: well, you’re forgiven if you answered any of A-D because I will have to do all of those things very soon. Including burying my head in bed and moaning. I seriously can’t handle life the Monday after a conference. But if you want me to get specific, my next real TRIP is to the Romantic Times Conference in New Orleans, where I will indeed give away a zillion squidges and other cool swag! Find me there!  The other trips I’ve listed are just real life.

So who’s coming to join me at RT?????

 

 

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MONDAY MUSINGS w/Jade Lee

 

1. Like so many of you, I had family here for the weekend. So let’s just get straight to the fun stuff.

Bourbon and ginger ale on the rocks is

a) disgusting

b) a gateway drug to nausea and making funny faces as one tries to swallow

c) my husband’s drink of choice

d) something I just don’t get.

Answer: All of the above! So, it’s true, I’m not a big fan of ginger ale. When you add bourbon, it just tastes alike something my cat would hack up.

2. My daughter came home for the weekend. So we immediately

a) went out for sushi and ate until we practically exploded.

b) discussed taxes, car tires, and parking tickets

c) discussed makeup and redid our nails

d) thought of the zillions of gifts they could give me for mother’s day.

Answer: oddly enough, the answer is B. Yes, that’s what my husband and daughter discussed immediately upon her arrival while I waited impatiently for sushi. But you get to claim a win if you guessed anything but D. We did go out for sushi eventually. We also-at some point-discussed makeup, and my daughter wanted to try my nail polish so she re-did her nails. As for Mother’s Day, the response is usually: oh, wait isn’t that in November?

 

 

3. And finally, as family entertainment, we…

a) went on a massive community Easter egg hung where my 6 year old niece found the golden egg!

b) stayed up until 2 am playing Catchphrase and laughing hysterically. Because let’s be honest-no one is coherent after midnight, especially after a bottle of wine because the bourbon was disgusting.

c) wrote up a handout on POV for a speech I’m giving in a month because it was due today.

d) slept a lot. I went to bed early, didn’t get up until noon, took naps, and generally lazed around.

Answer: everything but D. So want to see my short piece of Head-Hopping Point of View? The question with every sentence is who’s head are we in? So here you go:

By the way, this is an example of BAD WRITING:

Scene from What in the Hell is Happening?

Joey grinned as he watched Mary shimmy out of her shorts, the fabric feeling hot as the elastic gripped her thighs. But soon cool air kissed her thong and she sighed in delight. He straightened off the bed, thinking of all the myriad things he was going to do to her tonight. The dog Rover huffed his annoyance. He wanted out of the stifling heat and there was a strange musk in the room.

God that feels great! Hands against her breasts, the tight press of his body against hers. And what the hell is that yellow stripe? Oh my God! A shapeshifter!

Well what had he expected? Rover’s hackles raised and he woofed in a half-hearted requestto be let out of the room. After all, he’d smelled this weird tiger human mix before.

“Take me now!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll get my car keys. I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that you needed to be at the zoo right now.” Damn. How’d he get so confused? He’d thought she wanted…well clearly he’d been wrong.

Mary whimpered. “Sometimes the need to go all feral just consumes me.”

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